VS D
Chesterton Finds America
Place Where Interviewers
Work With Lightning Speed
By 0. K. CHESTERTON.
((upyrlfbt, ltJ, by I nlrenal fc.rticfl.)
(SVtONO ARTHIK A KKKKNHE OK
INTKtU XMEK.S).
Among my impressions of Amer
ica I have deliberately put first the
figure of the Irish-Americau inter
viewer, standing on the shore more
symbolic than the Statue of Liberty.
The Irish interviewer's importance
for the English lay in the fact of
his being an Irishman, but there
was also considerable interest in tne
circumstance of his being an inter
viewer. And as certain wild birds some
times wing their way far out to sei
and are the first signal of the shore,
so the first Americans the traveler
meets are generally birds of a
feather, and they certainly flock to
gether. In this respect there is a
slight difference in the etiquette of
the craft in the two countries which
I was delighted to discuss with my
fellow craftsmen.
If I could at this moment fly
back to Fleet street (I wish I could)
I am happy to reflect that nobody
in the world would in the least wish
to interview me. I should attract
no more attention than the stone
griffin opposite the law courts;
both monsters being grotesque, but
also familiar. t
But supposing for the sake of ar
gument that anybody did want to
interview me, it is fairly certain that
the fact of one paper publishing
such an interview would rather pre
vent the other papers from doing
so. The repetition of the same
views of the same individual in two
places would be considered rather
bad journalism: it would have an
air of stolen thunder, not to say
stage thunder.
But in America the fact of my
landing and lecturing was evidently
regarded in the same light as a mur
der or a great fire, or any other
terrible but incurable catastrophe, a
matter of interest to all pressmen
concerned with practical events.
Cause of Crime, Wave.
One of the first questions I was
asked was how I should be disposed
to explain the wave of crime in New
York. Naturally I replied that it
might possibly be due to the number
of English lecturers who had re
cently landed. In the mood of the
moment it seemed possible that if
they had all been interviewed re
grettable incidents might possibly
have taken place.
But this was only the mood of the
moment, and even as a mood did not
last more than a'moment. And since
it has reference to a rather common
and a rather unjust conception jf
American journalism, I think it well
lo take it first as a fallacy to be re
futed, though the refutation may re
quire a rather longer approach.
I have generally found that the
traveler fails to understand a foreign
country, through treating it as a
tendency and not as a balance. But
if a" thing were always tending in one
direction it would soon tend to de
struction. Everything that merely
progresses finally perishes.
"Exists on Compromise.
Every nation, like every family, ex
ists upon a compromise, and com
monly a rather eccentric compromise,
usiiig the word eccentric in the sense
of something that is somehow at once
crazy and healthy. Now the for
eigner commonly sees some feature
that he thinks fantastic without see
ing the feature that balances it.
The ordinary examples are obvious
enough. An' Englishman dining in
side a hotel on the boulevards thinks
the French eccentric in refusing to
open a window. But he does not
think the English eccentric in re
fusing .to carry their chairs ana
tables into the pavement in Ludgate
Circus.
An Englishman will go poking
about in little Swiss or Italian vil
lages, in wild mountains, or in re
mote islands, demanding tea; land
never reflects that he is like a China
man who should enter all the way
side public houses in Kent and Sus
sex and demand opium.
But the point is not merely that
he demands what he cannot expect to
enjoy; it is that he ignores even
what he does enjoy. He does not
realize the sublime and starry para
dox of the phrase "vin ordinaire,"
which to him should be a glorious
jest, like the phrase "common gold"
or "daily diamonds."
v Simple Cases.
These are the simple and self-evident
cases; bnt there are nfany more
subtle cases of the same thing; of
the tendency td see that the nation
fills up its own gap with its own sub
stitute, or corrects its own extrava
gance with its own precaution.
Hie national aiuiaoie gcucranj
grows wild in the woods side by side i man wrote the article had sud
with the national poison. If it did i denly gone mad and written the title.
not all the natives wouia De aeaa.
For it is so. as I have said, that
nations necessarily die of the un
diluted noison called "orogress."
It is so in this much-abused and
over-abused example of the Amer-
Voliva Deposes He'd Sew Cussed Husbands
In Bed Quilt and Beat 'Em With a Broom
Chicago. April 2. Comes again
before us Mr. Wilbur Glenn Voliva,
overseer of Z ion City, and informs
the hemispheres on "The Cussedness
of Moaern c Husbands to , Their
Wives," towit: .
"A man goes into a home and
courts a beautiful girl. She has a
lovely father and mother, and the
most charming surroundings.
"He sits there with oil on his hair,
a perfumed handkershief in his pock
et and buckwheat batter'on his head.
He says:
"'Now, darling humpty-dumpty.
If you only will promise to be mine
yon will never have to put your hands
m dishwater and I will dress you in
silks and satin.'
. . "The infernal liar r . "
ican journalist. The American inter
viewers really have exceedingly
good manners for the purposes of
their trade, g.anted that it is neces
sary to pursue their trade. And even
what is called their hustling method
can truly be said to cut both ways,
or hustle both ways; for if they
hustle in, they also hustle out.
Reporters Are Artists.
It may not at first sight seem the
very warmest compliment to a
gentleman to congratulate him on
; the tact that lie ;oon goes away.
But it really is a tribute to his per
I fectiott in a very delicate social art;
: and 1 am quite serious when I say
that in this respect the interviewers
I are artists. .
j It might be more difficult for an
j Englishman to come to the point,
particularly the sort ot point which
American jurnalists are supposed,
with some exaggeration, to aim at.
It' might be more difficult for an
Englishman to ask a total stranger
on the spur of the moment for the
exact inscription on his mother's
grave; but I really think that if an
Englishman once got so far as that
he would go very much further, and
certainly go on very much longer.
I supect the real reason that an
Englishman does not talk is that he
cannot leave off talking. I suspect
that my solitary countrymen, hiding,
in separate railwav compartments, are
not-so much retiring as . a race of
Trappists, as escaping from a race of
talkers.
Practical Advantage.
However, this may be, there is ob-:
viously something of practical advan
tage in the ease with which the
American butterfly flits from flower
to flower. Hff may in a sense force
his acquaintance on us, but he does
not force himself on us. Even when
to our prejudices, he seems to in
sist on knowing us, at least he does
not insist on our knowng him.
It may be, to some sensibilities, a
bad thing that a total stranger should
talk as if he were a friend, but it
might possibly be worse if he insisted
on being a friend before he would
talk like one. And I am here, (or the
sake of argument, taking American
journalism at its worst, and showing
that it might well be worse.
To a great deal of the interviewing,
indeed much the greater part of it,
even this criticism does not apply;
there is nothing which even an Eng
lishman of extreme sensibility could
regard as particularly private; the
questions involved are generally en
tirely public, and treated with not a
little public spirit.
Interviewing Is Rapid.
But my only reason for saying here
what can be said even for the worst
exceptions is to poik out this gen
eral and neglected principle; thatthe
very thing that we complain of in a
foreigner generally carries with it its
own foreign cure.
American inter-viewing is generally
very reasonable, and it is always very
rapid. And even those to whom talk
ing to an intelligent fellow-creature
is as horrible as having a tooth out,
may still admit that American inter
viewing has many of the qualities of
American dentistry.
Another effect that has given rise
to this fallacy, this exaggeration,
the vulgarity and curiosity of the
press, is the distinction between the
articles and the headlines; or rather
the tendency to ignore that distinc
tion.'
The few really untrue and unscru
pulous things I have seen in Ameri
can "stories" have always been in
the headlines.
Score Head Writers.
For instance, I talked to two de
cidedly thoughtful fellow journalists
immediately on my arrival at a town
in which there had been some labor
troubles. I told them my general
view of labor in the very largest and
perhaps the vaguest historical out
line, pointing out that the one great
truth to be taught the middle classes
was that capitalism was itself a
crisisand a passing crisis; that it
was not so much that it was break
ing down as that it had never really
stood 'up. Slaveries could last, and
pleasantries could last, but wage
earning communities could hardly
even live, and were already dying.
All this moral and even metaphysi
cal Eeneralization was most fairly
and most faithfully reproduced by the
interviewer, who had actually heard
it casually and idly spoken.
But on the top 'of this column of
political philosophy was the extraor
dinary announcement in enormous
letters, "Chesterton. Takes Sides in
Trolley Strike."
Any one who did not happen to .be
a journalist, or know a little about
journalism, American and English,
would have supposed that the sane
But I know that we have here to do
with two different types of journal
ists, and the man who writes the
headlines I will not dare to describe,
for. I have not seen him except in
the headlines.
"She nas ner hands in dishwater
two-thirds of the time after she mar-
ries him. They have four sweet lit
tle, children He is an Odd Fellow
on Monday "night, playing the dunce,
an Elk' on Tuesday night, a Buffalo
on Wednesday night, a Maccabee on
l hursday night and a Bumblebee on
i-ndav night.
"He leaves his wife at home with
the children while he is out "fooling
arouna, wearing a little apron in a
secret lodge room.
If I were in her place I would
sew him up in a bed quilt, beat him
with a broom and put a kitchen
apron on him and make him wash
the dishes.
Further than this, deponent saith I
"A 'Gentleman to
The Married Life of H'elen and Warren
Helen's Outraged Hospitality Goads
Her to a Caustic Retaliation.
"Well, she won't get any medals
for the way she strings beans,"
grumped Warren, adding to the
shreds on the side of his plate.
"I know, dear, she's careless about
everything," worried Helen.. "Her
one thought is to hurry and get
through. She cleaned the silver to
dayand look at that," holding tip
an egg-tarnished fork.
Here the pantry door swung open,
and the new maid entered to pass the
vegetables a second time.
"Cora, you didn't string these
beans very well," Helen ventured.
"Them beans ain't fresh. They're
hard to string when they're wilted.''
"She always has some excuse,"
when the door closed after her. 'But
I want tcv keep her for a while it's
so hard to get anybody just now.
Never mind, dear, I'll go," as the
telephone shrilled out.
"If it's anything for tonight say
I'm too tired," Warren called after
her. "Been driven all day."
"Is this Mrs. Curtis?" came an af
fected feminine voice. "Oh, good
evening, this is Mrs. Bates. I'm so
sorry, but I'm afraid after all we
won't be able to come the 26th. Mr.
Bates finds he 11 have to be out ot
1 1 1- .
town all next weeK. were doui so
disappointed. We were looking ior
ward to it so much!"
"And we were, too. We'll make it
some other time," suggested HeW.
"Yes, do ask us aain soon. We'd
both enjoy it so much I" effusively.
"Who was it?" demanded Warren
when she returned to the table.
"Mrs. Bates. They can't come
next Thursday he'll be out of town.
She's awfully sorry wants us to in
vite them again soon.
"Let's have some more oil for this
dressing too much vinegar. Yes,
we'll have 'em soon. I like Bates
and I liked the way he handled that
Stowell case."
"I don't care so much for her,"
admitted Helen. "She never lets
For want, of one vital element
your body begins to "burn itself up"
V
THE BEE: OMAHA. SUNDAY. APRIL 3. 1921.
See You, Miss"
you forget that it's her money. And
she's so artificial. Dear, isn't she
much older than he?"
"Search tne," shrugged Warren.
"You can't tell how old they are
these days. They all dress like flap
pers. 'Did you ever notice her hands?
fhey show her age she can't make
them up as she does, her face. I
suppose he married her for her
money."
"See here, what're you knocking
her for? Tapioca pudding again?"
as the dessert appeared. "Had that
last night."
"I know, dear, but there was so
much left over"
"Well, next time throw it out. I'm
not keen' on warmed-over desserts.
Get some of that Stilton cheese."
Dinner over, they returned to the
library, where Warren promptly
settled down at the desk.
"Dear, vou're not going to woric
j tonight? You just said you were
tired." , ,
"I've got to balance this bank
book," untving a package of can
celed checks. Clearing the desk, he
took up a consnicuously-sovered
novel. "The Lure Eternal." "Hello,
where'd this come from?"
"Oh Mrs. Stevens left that here
todav."
"Looks like one of those rotten
sex novels. She reads more trash 1"
"No, it's psychic." Helen took the
volume and drew up her favorite
chair. "It's about a -woman who's
unconsciously a clairvoyant.""
Before reading a book. Helen al
ways turned instinctively to the most
dramatic situation, somewhere near
the center, then to the last few para
graphs, and back again to chapter
one.
Following this method now, a let
ter fluttered out. As she picked it
up to replace it. she saw the signa
tureMarge, E.N. Bates. -Unconsciously
her glance swept upward,
catching the words "invitation" and
"Thursday the 26th."
The next moment, a leaping sus
New knowledge of an .important lack
in many of our everyday foods
Science has made the startling discovery that if
we. do .not get a proper supply of energy from
' our food; the body begins to feed on itself to
J burn itself up. We now know that the lack of
one vital element in food, called vitamine, keeps
us from getting this needed energy.
Which of our common everyday foods has it ?
Which lack it?
Around this tremendously interesting subject
hundreds of actual feeding experiments were
made. Scientists eagerly watched the seeming
nrgic change from an almost dying condition
to one of health and vigor as one animal after
another was given 'the precious vitamine.
When the vitamine was taken away they lost
appetite and became actually starved.
In many of these experiments yeast was used as the
richest known source of this life-giving vitamine. A
Helps the system eliminate waste
fn icientifiojesta of the therapeutic value of Fleischmann'a
Keasf in treating pimples,' 'boils and constipation, doctors
tay that in many of the cases that tame under their obser
vation the yeast treatment improved the general health of
the patient, quite aside from helping the particular ailment.
It corrects the basic cause of ffiesp complaints.
For constipation, pimples or boils, eat 1 to 3 cakes of yeast
a day a part of your regular diet.
picion surmounting her scruples, she
was hastily scanning the letter,
which . was dated yesterday.
' Dear Mrs. Stevens:
After all, I think we can
accept yolrt'very kind invi
i tation for dinner and the
theatre on Thursday the
26th.
As I told you, we have
another engagement for that
evening, but I've decided to
break that, as it is just one
, of Fred's business friends,
and his tiresome, social
climbing wife. I know I
would be bored stiff, and I
particularly want to be with
you.
Looking forward to the
26th,
Hastily,
Madge E. Bates.
Helen read it twice before she
fully grasped Mrs. Bates' treachery.
Flamingly she thought of Mrs.
Bates' effusive acceptance cf their
invitation: "We will be most pleased
to dine with you and Mr. Curtis on
the 26th. It is so kind of you to a.sk
us." And then the telephone can
cellation her gushing regrets and
deliberate lie that Mr. Bates would
be out of town!
Helen's first impulse was to show
the letter to Warren-f-to denounce to
him this woman's hypocrisy. Then
a wiser thought checked her. It
would be only an added mortification
for him to know.
Through the corrosive humiliation
of it all came the urge for swift
retaliation. In her tunnoiled mind
a caustic, scathing note of reply was
already taking form.
Pushing aside the magazines, she
cleared a space on the library table.
Goaded by her outraged hospitality,
she wrote with feverish haste:
Dear Mrs. Bates:
Your amazing letter to Mrs.
Stevens, which I found in a book
she left here today, is most illumin
ating. Needless to say, you will not
again be inflicted with an invitation
number of foods, notably leafy vegetables, contain this
vitamine. But it is of the greatest human significance to
know that from many of our foods it has been removed
by the process of manufacture or preparation.
That is why thousands of men and women today are
adding Fleischmann's Yeast to their regular meals. Thpy
find it gives them a vigor and energy they never had
before. x '
Yeast is assimilated in the body like any other food, and
like any other food it must be taken over a period of time
to be effective.
Eat Fleischmann's Yeast before or between meals, from
1 to 3 cakes a day. Have it on the t-. ale so that everyone
can eat it at meals, if they prefer. Spread it on toast or
crackers, dissolve it in milk or fruit -juices; or eat it plain.
If you are troubled with gas dissolve yeast first in boiling
water.
Place a standing order with your grocer for Fleisch
mann's Yeast. It is always of uniform purity and strength.
Get it delivered fresh daily. Send for the valuable
booklet, "The New Importance of Yeast in Diet," and
learn more about this scientific discovery. ' Address THE
FLEISCHMANN COMPANY. 1609ChioiQSt.,0mh, Neb.
from your husband's business friend
and his "tiresome, social-climbing"
wife!
Whatever my many failings may
be, I would not be guilty of such
contemptible duplicity.
I trust you will not be "bored
stiff" at Mrs. Stevens' dinner and
that the other guests will be duly
impressed .with your gracious, scin
tillating presence.
Very truly years.
Helen L. Curtis. .
Having carefully recopied it, she
turned to the desk for an envelope.
"Get away from here!" scowled
Warren. "What the Sam Hill dlyou
want?"
"Just an envelope and 1 won't
bother you again."
' "Here, take these checks and ca)l
'em off. I can't account for $;6.
Gone over the blamed thing twice."
"In just a minute, dear I want
to give this to the elevator boy."
"I'm going to write some letters.
I'll take them all out. Mrs. Bates?"
glancing over her shoulder as sht
addressed the envelope. "What're
you "writing her about? You're not
inviting them so soon?"
"Oh, no, I I " She paused in
helpless confusion.
"Eh? What's wrong?" with quick
suspicion. "Let's see that letter."
"No, you musn't! Warren that's
mine," trying to snatch it frpm him.
"You've no right to "
Ignoring her excited protests, he
held her away as he""read the, letter.
"What in blazes does all this
mean?"
"Oh, I didn't want you to know!
Here's the letter I found in the book.
She's too contemptible for words
and the way she lied over the
phone!"
When he had read Mrs. Bates' let
ter in grim silence he tore Helen's
nbtj into shreds.
"I'll write it again!" she flared..
"You'll do nothing of the sort,"
sternly. "Think I'll let you send a
letter like that? Sounds like a school
girl. Haven't you any dignity?
B) Charles Dana Gibson
Oiwrliht. Uf fuWihlix Co.
You'd no business to read her let
ter arty way. , And you're only mak
ing yourself ridiculous bv answering
it." '
"And for her to call me a social
climber!" Helen could not bring
herself to add the even more hu
miliating "tiresome."
"That's the sort of thing our
friends say about us," was Warren's
cynical comment.
"Not our FRIENDS!"
"Don't be t0o sure. Everybody
gets out his hammer once in a while.
Weren't you just knocking her?
What was that you Said at the
table that she dopes up her map. is
older than he, and was married for
her money."
"Warren that's different! I didn't
mean" to be unkind."
"But you were that's the point.
Hereafter when you get wise that
somebody's roasted you, before you
go up in the air, think of the swats
you've handed them. Nine times out
of 10 the score will be even. Mighty
few friendships could stand the
strain of knocking everything the
other fellow says."
Copyright, 1921, by Jlabel Herbert Harper.
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Corner 14th and -Dodge
Murder King' Says
He's Hardest Man
In World's History,
Killed 1,500 Men, Women and
Children , in Month Slew
All Men in Town, Took
Women for Hurem.
By FRANK E. MASON.
International Sertlc. Correi-
pOUUCDt,
Berlin, March 24.Ossip Lictnyi,
of Aslrachan, is hard. He claims to
be the hardest man ' of the ages,
Bring on Nero, Ghengis Khan, At
tila, Tancho Villa and Jacks Giant,
who sang about the blood of an
Englishman. Their combined hard
ness is as putty compared with
friend Ossip. .
Within three months Ossip, with
the assistance of a few hard com
rades, managed to commit about
1,500 murders. More than one-half
of these victims were- women and
children.
Ossip Lictnyi was for a while the
chairman of the soviet of Zarazin.
The business of running a soviet
soon palled upon Ossip, who re
quired new fields of conquer after
he had milked Zarazin of everything
movable. lie appointed himself
czar of Astrachan and with his new
ly organized royal guards started
out to collect the taxes of his new
czardon.
In the town of Jenotajewsk he
murdered all the men. After this
detail was attended to he kidnaped
all the women and took them aboard
his fleet of river boats which he had
stolen on the Wolga.
lie found the upkeep of his new
royal harem too expensive, so after
about three days he cut the throats
of half the women and threw them
overboard.
After systematic plundering and
incidental murdering of the villages
along the river, "Czar Ossip the
Hard" burned his ships in historic
manner and disappeared into the
Caucasus with 300 wagonloads ol
booty.
The soviet authorities of Astra
chan have placed a reward of ten
million rubles (in peace time $5,
000,000) upon the capture of Com
rade Ossip, dead or alive, according
to the Pravda, of Petrograd, which
recounts the exploits of the world's
hardest man.
Fortune Teller Fails lo
Locate Lost Sweetheart
Detroit, Mich., April 1. Now
that the fortune teller has failed
him, Joseph Raslowski, of No. 1328
Lyman place, has turned to the po
lice to help him find his vanished
sweetheart.
She is Wanda Borofski, recently
of No. 13582 Chene street, and Ras
lowski says she has $950 which he
entrusted to her, at her request, and
an engagement ring worth $250. He
obtained a warrant for her arrest.
A fortune teller proved worthless
to him, besides almost cqsting him
another $100. The seeres9 told him
she could find his girl easily if be
could place a $100 bill on the table
between them. The hundred was
placed properly. Then it disap-
peared. Raslowski called the police,
and as they entered the bill appeared
again.
f
JJ
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