8 D
TEE BliE: OMAHA. SUNDAY, MARCH fi. 192i.
Tragic Moments Your Daughter's Education Completed, Your Wife Asks You to Meet TJiem 1 DzPr:oa
The Married Life of
Helen and Warren
1
They Dine at tiy Old London Tav
ern Where Warren Buys
a Huge Stilton
Cheese.
"Weir, Kitten, it's our last night.
"wf d'joa. want to dine?" as they
vT..e out ot the hotel into the soft
tore of a London twilight.
"Let's explore!" glowed Helen.
Let's go s.ome where we've never
.sen."
"That's easy in London." Warren
paused to buy an evening paper.
"I'd love to go down in the City
below St. Paul's to one of those
old chop-houses vou read about in
Dickens," tucking her hand through
hir arm.
"They don't keep open at night
any more not way down there."
"Oh, some of them must be open!
I feel just in the mood to explore."
"All right, if you're so keen about
it Here comes, the bus we want."
Helen always reveled in a bus-top
ride through London, and the deep
ening dusk was the most enchanting
hour of all.
The consciousness that their trip
was over lay heavy upon her. To
morrow they sailed for home. Into
tljis last evening she wanted xto
crowd mucl of the old-world at
mosphere.
Through the glittering lights of
Piccadilly, into the darker and more
sedate Trafalgar Square, past Charing-
Cross, and down the Strand.
"Dear, London's so wonderful at
night I I could ride around all eve
ning and not want any dinner."
"Well, I couldn't! I want a good
square meal and I want it soon."
"Now we're in Fleet Street,"
eagerly pressing his arm, "Oh,
there's 'The Cock' where we dined
last time! Remember that old
waiter and the cat?"
Fleet street had quieted down for
the night. The upper windows, let
tered with the names of English
and Scottish papers, were mostly
dark. Only an occasional light re
vealed some ylatc news writer still
at his desk.
Under the bridge at Ludgate Cir
cus, and St. Pauls loomed majes
tically before them. On through
Cheapside, with its drapers, haber
dashers and silversmiths, now all
closed and dark, and they approach
ed the stately Bank of England. .
"Let's explore these side streets.
I'm sure we'll find some quaint old
chop house," enthused Helen., as
thev climbed down.
The network of narrow passages
into which they now plunged was
all a part of London's great finan
cial district. v
Over the doorways and on the
dusty small-paned windows were
the anmes of important firms and
Corporations. Crowded in these an
cient, unsanitary buildings were
Australian, New Zealand and South
African exporting and banking con
cerns. "Dear, what are those curious
frames before-the windows?"
"Mirr&rs to reflect the light: The
. poor devils who sit at those desks
don't get much daylight." Then
irritably, "Fat chance of anything
to eat along here. Everything's
closed tight as a drum."
"Let's try this turning. What's
that light through there?"
As they drew nearer, she pointed
gleefullv to a sign, "The Three
Ravens," But it proved to be only
a public house. Through the swing
ing doors they glimpsed the bar
and shining bottles, but the only
promise of food was the card in the
window, "Snacks at the Bar."
"Dear, here comes a' watchman
I'll ask him."
"No, Miss." to her timid ques
tion. "There's not much open down
here after six. You might try the
'.George and Vulture.' Take the
right, and second to the right "again
that'll bring you into Geerge
Yard. .You can't miss it. It's just
a step."
"Huh," grunted Warren, "if it's
ten miles they say it's just a step."
'"George and Vulture!" I love the
"name. Oh, I know it's going to be
a wonderful old place!"
"If we ever find it in this maze.
Here we are third to the left."
"Oh, I'm almost afraid!" shrink
ing from the blackest of narrow pas
sages. , :
Yet there was a certain fearsome
pleasure 'in scurrying through the
menacing darkness, clinging close
to Warren's arm.
They emerged into a curious old
courtyard, dimly lit by a hanging
iron lantern. Their footsteps echoed
weirdly in the deserted stillness.
Even the hum of the great city did
not-jcach these inner recesses.
The phosphorus eyes of a lurking
cat seemed a welcome note of life.
Helen stopped to pet the waif which
'stole from the shadows to rub
against her.
' "He said the second to the right,
didn't he? Yes, here's George
Yard."
Further on shone a lighted door
way over wnicn nung a swinging
sign,
YE GEORGE AND VULTURE
Established 1600
"Just what I hoped for!" rejoiced
Helen. "Did you ever see anything
so quaint? Dear, it's over 300 hun
dred years old!"
Through the low doorway and
they cutcred one of the oldest of
London taverns a long oak-beamed
room with jts sawdusted floor and
high pew seats. There was a mel
low odor of ale, and the fragrance
of chops and steaks sizzling over
the glowing grill.
"By ginger, the real thing! Just
lamp Jhis," Warren strode up to a
long table on which were displayed
the uncooked -meat, and vegetables.
"A chop or a nice point steak,
sir J'.' beamed the white-capped Cuok.
"A chop for me that one," as the
long fork hovef ed questioningly.
"And you can grill me one of those
kidneys and a couple of tomatoes."
"Some .Bubble and Squeak, sir?
Yes, sir, A bit of fowl for the
laoV?"
Helen, accustomed to the English
habit of serving the man first, meek
ly decided og the fowl, grilled toma
toes and her favorite mustard and
cress salad.
"Well, we're in luck to find this I"
admitted Warren, as they chose a
table in one of the hrgh stalls. "Not
many of these old joints left. I like
to see my chop before it's cooked.
Mighty few places in New York
they'd let you see the meat before
it's camouflaged with gravy."
Dear, it s not crowded, Rbrrjiig
around at tlie lew diucrs, rJ men
evidently detained in the city. "I
wonder if there are any menus
1 don't see any."
"That lay-out over there beats all
your menus. Jove, I didn't notice
that," eyeing a huge round cheese.
"Looks like Stilton. Haven't had
any good Stilton this trip. What
we had at the hotel v wasn't ripe
enough."
"What will you have to drink, sir?"
asked the waiter when he served
the grilled chop and kidney, smok
ing hot. "We've some . vcrys old
musty ale." x
"Just the stuff. Hold on, is that
Stilton over there? How is it?"
"Very fine, sir. -Just ripe enough.
Yes, sir, with &ome brown biscuits.''
"Dear, aren't you glad we found
this? It IS a goodplace, isn't it?"
as his silent and speedy consump
tion proclaimed his appreciation of
the food.
"Said it was the real thing, didn't
I ! Best chop I've had in Londdn."
When later he tasted the Stilton
cheese, he fairly beamed.
"That's just right! Has the real
nutty flavor."
"Yes, sir, we get them straight
from Lancashire," volunteered the
genial, eJderly waiter. "We buy
them green and age them ourselves."
"By George, I'd like to take one
to America! Couldn't sell one,
could you?"
"We have sold them, sir, to some
of our old customers. But they run
pretty big over 1 1 pounds."
"All right, I can manage that.
Got anything to put it in?" .
"I can give you a hamper, sir.
A gentleman took one to South
Africa that way. r It's 4 shillings a
pound, sir, the market price."
"Finel Now you fix me up one.
No, you can't send it we're sailing
in the morning. We'll have to take
it with us in a cab."
"Warrerl, we CAN'T take an 11
pound cheese to New York!"
"Why can't we? If it was a piece
of antique junk you wouldn't set up
a howl. Not if it weighed a tonl
What about that bookcase we took
over?" (
"But this awful smelly cheese!
What will we do with it on the
steamer?" '
"111 fix that all right. Send it
down to the store-room."
"But when we get home it'll
smell up the whole apartment. And
spoil before we can eat it!"
"Don't you worry about it spoil
ing. I'm going to distribute a few
chunks. Jove, won't Stevens fall
hard for that? And I'll send a piece
to Dalton. He's always blowing
about that cheese he gets from Can
ada. I'll show him what real cheese
isl"
Helen was still h'otly protesting
at this cumbrous addition to their
luggage, when the waiter brought up
the huge mouldy mound for War
ren's inspection.
"You'll find that all right, sir. Be
fore you cut it, if it seems a bit dry,
just wrap a damp cloth about it.
And you should cut it with a cop
per wire you never want to use a
knife on Stilton."
Warren, always a cheese enthusi
ast, examined it with the air of a
connoisseur appraising an art treas
ure. They wrapped it first in a piece
of muslin, next in heavy brown pa
per and then lowered it into the ham
per. Helen coirid hardly restrain her
mounting disapproval when she saw
Warren count out 44 shillings for the
cheese With all their other baggage
that they should be encumbered
with this bulky odoriferous hamper!
"I tell you who's going to get a
piece of that," chuckled Warren.
"Will Mumford! He's a darned old
epicure, if there etfer was one. He'll
appreciate it."
The waiter had hurried off down
to Cornhill for a cab, but it wasO
minutes before they heard the clat
ter of hoofs in the cobblestone pas
sage. ,
Carrying the hamper as though its
contents were preciously fragile, he
led the-way out.
" 'Ope you'll find if" all right, sir.
And don't forget the wet cloth if it
gets a bit dry."
As they drove off the old waiter,
standing in the lighted doorway un
der the lanterned sign, waved after
them with a napkin.
At any other time, keenly appre
ciative of this old wprld tavern,
Helen would have waved back. But
now she thought only of the obnox
ious hamper at Jier feet. Already
the odor had permeated the wrap
pings. "Now don't begin that," growled
Warren, as she sniffed disdainfully.
"Warren, it's awful! , It's like
something rotting 1"
"Don't expect it to smell like vio
lets, do you? Wouldn't be the real
thing if it wasn't a bit strong. Now
you needn't start kicking. I'm al
ways lugging home a lot of your
junk. Here's where I take along
something I want and the less you
say about it the better!"
(Copyright. 1921, 'Mabel Herbert Harper.)
All Elevators in Building
Run by One-Legged Men
Chicago. March 5. The Conti
nental and Commercial bank build
ing here has probably tjic most
unique set of elevator men in the
country. All of them . are one-legged,
even the starter having but one
good leg.
Fred Patzeldt, the starter, who
has charge of hiring the elevator
men. told some of the things that
caused him to hire the one-legged
brethren.
"Where possible I employ only
one-legged men," he said. "They are
more reliable, because realizing they
cannot do every kind of work thev
stick to their places. All my men
except one are married."
EeU Clog Pipes and Put
Boat Out of Commission
Portsmouth, N. 11., March 5 Who
Lserved home brew to fish in Follv
Lake, York, Me? Someone must
have, 'for half a dozen eels went on
a wild expedition 'which prevented
the ferryboat Alice Howland, plying
between this city and Kittcry, Me.,
trom making several trips.
When Engineer Roberts found his
engines wouldn't work he began an
investigation which revealed the fact
that the pipes between the boilers
and tank were s'uffed with fresh
water eels The eels had' made their
wav through a series of pipes from
! Folly Island'to Badger Island and
: thence through a rubber hose into
1 the tank.
Heart Secrets of a
Fortune Teller
By RACHEL MACK.
Too Much Luxury.
As soon as she walked into the
office I knew there'd be a sentimen
tal tale of woe forthcomin'. It was
easy to see she used to be a good
looker before she took on the(extra
pounds and the languid habits 1
"I have come for a palm reading,"
she dpens. "I want you to look
into the future and tell me how to
win back the love of my husband.
Tell me why he has grown so cold
and critical."
I take her hand and apply myself
to the case with much interest.
"You haven't done much manual
labor recently," I comments, no
ticin' the flabby flesh while appear
in' to study the lines.
"No," she answers, "not for sev
eral years. Its not necessary any
more. My husoand's salary is grow
ing larger all the time, and of
course I have a maid.as well as all
the modern conveniences, jn my
home."
"And you've put on quite a bit of
weight in the last few years, I
judge?".
She shudders sidly. "Thirty-two
po&nds since my 25th birthday," she
laments with tear3 in her voice. "And
I used to have such a slender, grace
ful figure."
"I find in your hand, madam, an
exaggerated mount which points
to self-indulgence. You're good to
yourself there's no mistakin' the
signs."
"Well," she argues, "why shouldn't
I be? I can afford the best of every
thing; I'll admit I have a decided
craving for swee'.s, but I rarely ever
eat over a pound of candy a day!"
"And of course you've got your
own car," I venture, "which saves
you quite a bit of foot work! And
you never dress before 10:30, be
cause a kimona's so comfortable for
mornin' wear! In fact, takin' it all
in all, your most strenuous exercise
is eating four meals day and at
tendin' the matinee,-m I right?"
"It seems to me," she answers,
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"that I'm entitled to a life of ease
now. When we were first married-
I had things hard enough, the
cooking, cleaning, sewing and mar
keting all to do myself!"
"And you probably climbed three
flights of steps to a flat that was
too cheap for elevator service," I
adds on, a guess.
"I" did," she assures me. "And
the only joy sprees we could afford
to indulge in was a chocolate soda
and a movie show on Saturday night.
That's a hard life for you!
"And yet," I reminded her, "friend
hubby was the perfect lover in those
days, wasn't he?"
"Yes," she admits, "he was never
critical of me then. He was always
telling me how haautiful I was, and
how much he loved me. And now,
although I have my dressmaker
spare no pains or expense with my
clothes, he never notices my looks
except to ask me if I haven't gained
another five pounds. It's s,o dis
couraging. You must tell me what
to dol"
"Nothing would give me more
pleasure, madam," I says, "but
there's no need to study the lines
when I can read the whole story in
your triple chins and your thirty
pounds excess." '
"What do you mean!" she de
manded in a risin' rage.
"I mean, madam, that you are F.
F. L. flabby, fat and lazy and
your husband seems to have noticed
it. Too much money and the easy
life have done it. Your mind's prob
ably flabby, too. It generally hap
pens that -way! But if you're hon
est about wantin' to get back to the
old slim pattern, I believe I can help
you. You might even succeed in
pickin' up a little of your long lost
pep."
"I see quite plainly what you ate
driving at!" she says in a disgusted
tone of voice. "But if you think I'm
willing to go through the treadmill
of slaving and starving and climbing
steps like I once had to do well,
you're sadly mistaken. I wouldn't
Genuine
sacrifice myself like that to win the
approval of any man! If there's not
an easier way than that to do it,
then I'm satisfied to remain flabby,
fat and-lazy 1"
"Of course, you are, madam!" I
says soothingly. "Some women are.
I really didn't expect you to fall for
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"It's a funny world, Katie."
Next Week: A Woman's Confidence.
(Coryright 1021: Thompson Feature
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