Nebraska Newspapers

    t
THE BEE; OMAHA. MONDAY, FEBRUARY" 28. 1921.
The Omaha Bee
daily (Mormng) evening sunday
THE BEE PUBLISH IN Q COMPANY,
NELSON B. UPDIKE, Publisher.
MEMBER OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
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The Bee's Platform
1. New Union Passenger Station.
2. Continued improvement of tko Ne
braska Highway, including tko pave
ment of Main Thoroughfares leading
into Omaha with a Brick Surface.
3. A ahort, low-rate Waterway from the
Corn Belt to tho Atlantic Ocean.
4. Home Rule Charter for Omaha, with
City Manager form of Government.
Nebraska's Overcrowded Penitentiary.
A rather singular state of affairs is that indi
cated by Warden Fenton's request to the
, sheriffs of Nebraska to keep prisoners in county
jails for a time, owing to, the fact that the
penitentiary at Lincoln is overcrowded. If this
vycre in California, or Illinois, or some of the
other states, where ample room for convicts is
prov ided in the state prisons, the condition would
be indeed serious. But the Nebraska "stir" is
calculated to care for only 412 prisoners, and
now fias 612. This may be compared with the
prfson, at Folsom. Cal., which holds 2,000, and
1 is only one of two in the state. i Proportionately,
therefore, Nebraska does not' present such a
desperate picture.
The warden's appeal will doubtless be made
the pretext by many to point out the failure' of
prohibition to do away with crime. That is as
futile as the oldtime practice of laying all crime
at the foot of John Barleycorn. A considerable
iimnnrtinn of the increase in the penitentiary
efforts to enforce prohibition, while some may be
ascribed to.the effect of the socalled crime wave
that swept the country In wake of the war. Dis
cussion of these phases of the situation may be
adjourned. It is more to the point to consider
the warden's suggestion that at least 125 of his
cruets ms nrnnerlv he relieved from the dur-
.1.... Ik.. K nnnllo.tlAn f fl f r
anic nicy auMtfui vy uit at'puv.iiuii v.v-i..
ency in the form of parole..
The parole board has just passed on a group
of 45 applications and granted but 11 paroles.
This is indicative of a determination to more
closely scrutinize! the pleas of the condemned
in the future. It may have the effect of de
terring the prospective criminal, by assuring
him in advance that detection and. conviction
will carry certain punishment. But a more im
portant factor is presented by the report of the
parole board.
In several of the cases where release was
denied a recommendation is made that the appli
cant be given consideration in connection with
the road-building gang. This deserves deep
consideration. Nebraska is enlisted in an
extensive road-building campaign; the state is
owner of a large amount of machinery of various
sdrts, needed for carrying on the work. This is
aV the disposal of the several counties, and is
used under the direction of the state engineer
in the construction of highways. Why may not
the state go a little further, and give employ
ment to convicts more extensively on the out
side of the prison walls? It is done in other
states, some very creditable d extensive high
way systems having been so constructed. Expe
rience has shown that the convict' as a rule can
be trusted; that escapes from gangs employed
in road-building or other work outside the walls
are nc more numerous than from behind the
walls. Life in the open air, where the physical
faculties are employed at useful labor and the
body is properly cared for, with wholesome,
food, sufficient rest and sanitary surroundings,
will improve the mind, restore it to health and
tend to do away with any predilection to
oifminality.
Governor McKelvie and Warden Fenton
alike approve the employment of convicts at
outdoor laboV. They have proceeded cautiously
so far, but with success that is gratifying. It
:u, v. tn vrinr! ttif experiment, and see
JMlgUl LI l V w . . . 1 -
if the problem of housing prisoners at the peni
tentiary can not be solved without extending
its accommodations.
A "Leatherneck" in the Cabinet
The one veteran of the world war to sit in
the cabinet will by Edwin Denby, whom Mr.
Harding has asked to become secretary of the
u enr cprvird too. as a sunner's mate
on the Yosemite during the Spanish conflict.
That, however, was the exploit of a young man
and quite different from the sacrifice he made
to abandon a prosperous automobile business
and join the marine corps when war with Ger
many came. v
The recruiting officer rejected him on account
of his 280 pounds of flesh, but Denby got in touch
with Washington, where he wasknown as a
former. congressman, and was finally admitted
as a private. Training as an ordinary "leather
neck," he shrank before long, to 245 pounds,
which was not excessive for his big frame. Later
he was made a. drill sergeant and came out of the
war a niajui.
There is a manliness about Mr. Denby,
which together with the good humor that goes
with Ws huge bulk, and his experience in con
gress, in business and in war may be expected to
make him one of the most popular and worthy
M.Mk.pi rf th mew rahinfft.
V
One of a Famous Galaxy.
The wires bring the news of the death of Dr.
Frederick James Volney Skiff, curator of the
Field Columbian museum at Chicago. To the
scientific and literary world this will tell that a
trreat field, who had attained much
distinction as a scientist, has passed on. Some
are left yet, however, who will have genuine sor
row for his death because of othe,r reason?.
Most people think of "Fred" Skiff as the bril
liant organizer of the publicity department of
the Columbian Exposition at Chicago in 1893.
Many in the west will recall him better as a
member of perhaps the most famous group of
newspaper workers ever assembled in a western
community. He Was city editor of the Denver
Tribune at the time when O. H. Rothacker was
managing editor and Eugene Fields its chief
editorial writer; At that time the Denver jour
nalistic coterie, any one of whom would have
resented being called a journalist, included
among its numbers William Lightfoot Visscher,
Eugene Bertrand, Henry James, C. O. Ziegcr.
fuss, "Sam" Tilden, "Dave" Day, "Mike" Dun
can and some others. Most of these names have
ben written big in newspaper history. Omaha
knew some of them, among them Visscher,
James, Rothacker and Bertrand. And of the lot
none was more brilliant, enthusiastic or enter
prising than "Fred" Skiff. The group has long
been scattered, manV of its members having
responded to the last roll call, but those who
yet live cherish recollections of light-hearted davs
of toil, lightened by the communion of com
panions who really were "good fellows," and
of whom the old-timers in Denver and elsewhere
in the west retain vivid memories.
What "V. N. A." Really Means.
Now and then you note a young woman mov
ing briskly along her way, a brassard on her
arm bearing the letters, "V. -N. A.," attracting
your attention. After she has passed you recol
lect that the letters stand for Visiting Nurse
Association, and so think no more about it. ' A
little additional reflection might have given you
occasion for real thought. The Visiting Nurse
deserves capital letters. She has grown from a
small beginning into a real institution, a minis
tering angel whose presence is a mercy at many
a bedside where, without her, pain and suffering
would rule, and where death would win many a
victory.
When we talk about how infant mortality has
been reduced in Omaha we generally ascribe it
to the efficiency of the health department, which
guards the milk supply, thus overlooking the
real factor in the case. Pure milk is vital to a
healthy baby, but the Visiting Nurse is the
savior of the ailing child. She has waited at
the bedside of the mother; she has given advice
and practical assistance as to the care of the
child; she has sat by the cradle or the cot, sooth
ing the fever and nursing the spark of life until
it sprang into flame again, and the little one
responds to the call of health once more. When
epidemic comes, it is the Visiting Nurse who
goes into the liomes of those who need care and
can not pay for it; she faces the terror of disease
where poverty comes a formidable ally to the
destroyer, and with patient skill and scientific
knowledge she drives back the enemy and re
stores to usefulness one who otherwise was
doomed. ,
Volumes could be written of her and of her
devotion to the business of helping those who
need help, and yet no more could be said than
is contained in that. She needs help, too, for
the Visiting Nurse Association must have funds
to "carry on the great work in which it is
engaged. Omaha has hitherto responded lib
erally to the support of this splendid charity.
It should not appeal in vain now.
A Line (V Type or Two
Haw to th Lint, let tha quips fall where they may
LINKS WR1TTKX IV CONSIDERATION OF
THE AXOMALOrs DOMESTIC STATIS
OF THE MAI-E rilALAKOI'K.
AVhen first thy dame began to hope
From cures domestic to be free,
How did she manage, phalarope,
To thrust her charge on thee?
Say, didst thou "practice to deceive"
Or e'er the Klaclal subsidence
Began thy shallow lakes to leave?
And dost thou penitence?
Oh long! too long! But not enough
"Was filled the measure of thy woes,
Until thy cloak of colored stuff
She wore and you, her clothes.
But none would know you had foregone
So many years your proper part,
So gamely you have carried on
And played hera with such art.
How to Keep Well
r By DR. W. A. EVANS
Questions concerning- hygiene, sanitation and prevention of disease, submitted
to Dr. Evans by reader of Th Be, will be anawered peraonallyt subject to
proper limitation, where a atamped addresaed envelop ia enclosed. Dr Evans
will not make diafnosis or prcacrib for individual diseases. Address letters
in care of Th Bee. -
Copyright, 1921, by Dr. W. A. Evans
T5 s: -
UheJZ
s- tt S t t . .
pafK m t i m s m m
ox
Speeding Up Railway Mail.
The husband who carries his wife's letter
around all day and forgets to mail it until the
last thing at night is proverbial, but until now
the business man who spends the morning
dictating and allows his letters to await his
signature until he is ready to put on his hat and
go home has escaped comment.
It is a splendid indication of the interest that
the postoffice employes take in their task tlAt
the suggestion, so useful to all business institu
tions, for mailing early and often should come
from them. , In advertisements and placards
put out ' by the National Federation of Post
office Clerks the public is receiving a tip from
the inside how to speed up the postal service.
Business men are thus informed that they
can improve the mail system by signing letters
at noon and at frequent intervals thereafter, by
depositing mail frequently during the day. by
mailing circular letters and relatively unim
portant matter in the morning, by facing up,
with the stamps the same way letters if in large
quantity, and by keeping long and short
envelopes separate. These are little things, and
their importance would not occur to the average
man, or to an official not in close contact with
the actual routine.
It is said that about half of the mail which
Omaha concerns post in the late afternoon misses
the 6 o'clock mail train for the east. It must be
in the postoffice before 5:20 p. m. in order to
make the train. When there are upwards of
150,000 letters dumped upon the sorting tables
at the close of the business day, it is humanly
impossible to put it through even for the 6:58
train. Henle much of it waits to leave at 2
o'clock in the morning, arriving in Chicago when
offices and factories are closed for the day. Thus
24 hours are lost on this mail by an hour's
delay in Omaha.
A Shirt-Tail Full of Mail.
"They only killed one man, burned one plane
and reached New York with a shirt-tail full of
mail," Congressman Tinch'er of Kansas remarked
in opposing the appropriation of $1,250,000 for
the air mail service.
Those are plain facts, but history shows tnaft
many great achievements have begun thus be
littled. The crowds that watched Fulton's
steamboat hooted, and the first one which he
launched on the Seine immediately sank. The
practicability of the steam locomotive was
doubted, and it is still remembered how humor
ous the idea of a horseless carriage seemed.
In his victorious effort to have the ap
propriation granted, Congressman Jefferis has
done a service, not only to Omaha, which is the
hub of the system, but to aerial navigation itself.
These first brave experiments undoubtedly are
necessary to the advancement of the science of
aviation, and the money for the aerial mail (serv
ice is well spent.
There may be standing room only at the
state penitentiary, but the kindly government
will , see that any deserving criminal desiring
board and lodging for a term of years is
accommodated in the county jails.
Too much importance can not be attached
to starting the morning in good humor, and on
that score it is possible to justify the congres
sionalappropriation of $10,000 for the develop
ment of a squirtless grape fruit.
The pleasure the average person takes in
reading his old home paper makes the robbery
of newspaper mail sacks almost as serious as
the theft of the registered mail.
If the world must have a war, nations the
size of Panama and Costa Rica can carry them
on with less damage and expense than their
larger associates.
You brood with such solicitude
That you are she the question begs:
But would you have it understood
Those really are your eggs?
H IK AIM. W. HKKZE. .
AN English publisher binds all his books in
red because, having watched women choosing
books in the libraries, he found that they looked
first at the red-bound ones. Does that coincide
with your experience, my dear?
WOMEN, says John Burroughs, are the best
lovers of nature and of nature books, but an I j,ody can live
r-ngiisnnian says inis i.k nor. true oi r-ngtibfi
nature lovers or lovers of nature books.
DID YOU EVER SIT UP .WITH ONE?
(From the Big Horn Basin, Mont., News.)
Mrs. George Torney has been quite sick
for a few days, but owing to the fact that'
George is a good horse doctor she is about well
again.
"AND as I am in no sense a lecturer . . ."
Mr. Chesterton.
Seemingly the knowledge of one's limitations
as a public entertainer does not 'preclude one
from accepting a fee five or ten times larger than
one would receive in London. We are languidly
curieux de savoir how far the American equiva
lent would get in the English capital.
Yeo-Heave-Ho!
Edwin Denby was a gob upon the sea,
And at Michigan he. took a law degree;
As a sergeant of marines
He lived on pork and beans,
So the Navy job should fit hhn to a T.
G. D. B.
A LETTER from Vienna relates that under
the awful influence of the Social-Communist
party the army has been reduced to the condi
tion of tramps. Bref, "an Austrian army awfully
arrayed."
NO MAN S LAND.
(From the Elkhorn Independent.)
Lost A silver Eversharp pencil between
Catholic church and Masonic Temple, Tuesday.
Finder please return to Edna Blade, 209 W.
Walworth St.
CERTIFICATE appended to the will of a
resident of Joliet, recorded in probate court:
Oiven under my hand and notorial seal
by her own dictation as she was speechless,
received by paralytical struck, but could
readely speak in the German' language, this
17th dav of Seotember. Anno Domini 1885.
35 minutes past 3 P. M. in my office."
THE THOUSAND AND
ONE AFTERNOONS.
XVI. '
The housebreaker (continued the fair Saidee)
laid a warning finger across his lips, then closed
and locked the door. But the lady made no
outcry. ' Instead she advanced slowly towards
him, as if hypnotized, with an expression at first
wondering and then ecstatio, until murmuring
'At last!' Bhe threw her arms about his neck and
laid her cheek against his pink-shirted breast.
The young man stood the assault gamely. Al
though he suspected a trap he refrained from
violent action; pursuing a vocation replete with
sudden turns and alarms he had cultivated an
artistic reserve and had trained himself to avoid
spasmodic and unnecessary movements. He
flattered himself that were he so unlucky as to
be hanged he should omit the gestures of the
jumping-jack. ' And so in response to the lady's
murmured speech he embraced her tightly and
said, 'What do you mean at last? At the same
jtime he removed a gold locket from a chain
about her neck and dropped it into his pocket.
It was a thoughtless act, automatically per
formed, and shows how strong a habit may be
come. 'We had begun to play games downstairs,' the
lady explained. 'They said If I held a lighted
candle to a mirror I should see the reflection of
my future husband. When I saw you I thought
they were playing a trick on me, but it Is .ill
true, all so wonderfully true! Tell me, how did
you get here? Mr. 'Wild led her gently to a sofa.
He was beginning to suspect that she was slightly
cracked, and therefore to be humored. 'Oh, said
he, 'I am Peter Pan, and I just stepped in from
the treetops!' 'No,' she said, looking at him
with swimming eyes, 'Peter Pan never grew up.'
'Right,' he responded, kissing her. 'How hand
some you are!' she sighed, and the tribute was
deserved. Mr. Wild was extremely good-looking,
and the magic of the pink shirt did but heighten
COINING POPULAR
CREDULITY.
"It certainly happens that in your
country thero are such things," A
C. C, a Spaniard, writes from Chi
huuhua, Mexico, "that to read
newspaper entertains better than a
picture show. Well, lot nie go direct
to tne point, in your department
'How to Keep Well,' you try to help
your countrymen and the world h
large; but. iny dear sir, 1 and a good
many millions more of men in this
broad world do not agree with you
or the notions of your countrymen.
"We that have not been born un
der the Stars and Stripes, but have
seen several parts of the world, find
out that the Yankees ftre very good
and innocent people in general, be
lieving everything that a doctor or
a quack recommends to them.
"By inclination they are drug
fiends and so swallow everything that
tastes druggy. Outside of the United
States in general people do not
spend for medicines In all their
lives as much as a Yankee spends for
them in one year, and in the long run
they live as happy and healthy as a
nils candid opinion of us by a
Spanish-American is interesting.
Note tho ' lankee is a drug fiend,
"innocent," "believing whatever the
quack tells him," "liking anything
that tastes druggy," "spending more
for medicine in a year than a jnan
of another race Spends -for it-in a
lifetime."
"O, wad some power the giftla gie us
To see ousels hh infers see us
It wail frae mnnla n blunder free us
-r;rt foolish notion."
AVhen this letter came I was read
ing a report of the Cleveland hospital
and health survey. Volume 8 devotes
ten pages to quacks and patent med
icines. They admit the impeachment
nut they pass the buck from the
Yankee to tho foreign-born. Accord
ing to them, the Yankee knows the
wiles of the quack and the patent
medicine man, but the foreign-born
population of Cleveland at least are
Iambs led to tho slaughter.
"The foreign language newspapers
derive from 30 to 60 per cent of their
advertising income from the fraudu
lent statements of quack practition
ers and patent medicine Interests."
This is one of the statements made
in the report on Cleveland. !
Another statement is: "The appeal
of tho quack is effectively adapted to
the susceptible foreign temperment.
The appeal found in the advertise
ments is then analyzed into the ap
peal for encouragement, the appeal
of fear, the appeal through promise
of a common language, the appeal of
race, the appeal of special skill and
method cures, the appeal to the im
agination, the appeal to sentiment."
The report says that the bewilder
ed foreign-born, trying to learn
our language, customs, climate,
foods, and at the same time support
himself and family, finds himself
almost defenseless against the rapac
ity of the patent medicine people
and advertising doctors.
Our friend from Chihuahua and
the report of the Cleveland survey
investigators are agreed that we are
harming ourselves by drugging, but
beyond that point the reports dis
agree. The foreigner from Spain
and Mexico says it is the Yankee
who is the sinner ncainst himself and
his community. Thi Yankees of the
Cleveland staff say it is the foreign-born.
Citv Will Help You.
Mrs. C. G. writes: "Let me know
where one may receive salvarsan in
jections gratis? I nm unable to pay.
My Wasserpiann' test is 2 plus. I
have lost my voice for the last three
months. I only earn $15 a. week, so
you can see 1 am unable to pay for
my treatments. I support myself
ana a child oc 8 with my w Atres."
REPLY.
In your city as in most ull others
there are clinics where salvarsan,
mercury and other treatments are
given free to those not able to pay.
You deserve and can get free treat
ment. Arc Best on Warm Days.
N". G. writes: "Is there any cure
for sugar diabetes? How long does
the average case laat if on a doctor's
diet? What are the first symptoms?
VIII cold weather effect it? What is
the best thing to do for it?"
REPLY.
A person 'With diabetes should
have a physician lay down rules of
living, including a diet for him, and
he should follow it to the last de
tail. He can do this better if he
has a book on diabetes to help Him.
If he will do this ho may live to old
age. In most cases the first symp
tom noticed is frequent urination.
Diabetics do better when the weather
Is warm enough not to chill the skin.
Some General Preventives.
M. L. H. writes: "Are there any
premonitory symptoms before a I
stroke of paralysis? If so are there
any precautions to take or rules of
living to follow to guard against
uich calamity? My father died of
lis second paralytic stroke, the first
me having made his right side help
less. In that condition he lived for
20 years. His father before him
died in the same -ay. I am subject
to severe headaches beginning in
the ball of the left eye and extend
ing to the left temple, top of head
and back of the neck, affecting the
left side only. Sometimes these at
tacks last for 24 hours. The pain
In tho neck, in cord at left side, fre
quently occurs without other disturb
ances. I have wondered if anything
of this sort was a prelude to a
paralytic stroke. What is your
opinion? These headaches do not
occur as often now as they did, when
t was younger, but pain in the neck
Is more frequent and persistent. I
am tu years old. "
. REPLY.
(Apoplexy runs in families and you,
according to the evidence, belong to
an apoplectic family. Y'ou should
have your blood pressure taken once
or twice a year. Likewise have your
urine periodically examined. High
blood pressure is one sign of ten
dency to apoplexy. Dizziness and
vertigo are others. With your tetmj
ly history it would be wise to keep
our blood pressure within 20 points
of normal tof your age. Y'ou prob
ably will be better off if you live
larerelv on milk, cereals, vegetables
and fruits, avoid meat and eggs en
tirely. Above all, avoid constipation.
Living a life free from violent emo
tional disturbances with enough es
ercise to keep your muscles fit and
your joints limber, but without
severe physical exertion, couduces
to longevity. In all probability your
headaches have been of the migraine
or sick headache type. Such head
aches lessen year by year as middle-
age merges into old age.
x
You Both Lose,
L. O. and B. S. write: "A says
that hot water is good for the re
moval of pimples from the face, and
B says that cold water is best."
Neither is worth 2 cents, except
Indirectly as a cleansing agent. Since
neither wins, contribute the pot to
charity. . . ,
Appreciates I'rUc at Contest.
Glcnwood. la., Feb. 25. To
the Editor of The Ike: Please
accept my sincere thanks for the
check for first prize which arrived
yesterday.
Such competitions us the one' you
have just conducted cannot be other
than a great stimulant to amateur
photographers and an incentive to
better work. 1 knew that they are
to me.
Hoping that tho contest has been
beneficial to your Rotogravure sec
tlon and again thanking you, as well,
the kind judges, I am,
A. S. WORKMAN.
Mr.
Omaha,
Editor of
continually
Welch's Retort.
Feb. 24. To the
The Bee: I note
appeals to everybody
else to come down in prices and
roasting them becauso they do not'
do so.
That is appeals to everybody but
newsuauers themselves.
, If prewar prices prevail in all lines
why not get back to prewar advertis
ing and circulation rates in the news-
Daoers?
Please compare restaurant priced
of 1914 or any previous year with
prices for 1921, and then east your
eyes over prices for everything sold
by the papers for the same time, and
I am sure the comparison will be in
favor of the restaurant.
I believe that you should be fair
before making thest statements us
all such statements add to tho unrest
and dissatisfaction ot people in general.
Is is your own as well as the com-
munity's interest to boost instead of
Outside and Inside residents are in
fluenced in their thoughts by your
papers.
Would It not he fair to first find
what the net profit amounts too be
fore creating the false impression
given by quoting gross profits?
No other Industry nas the oppor
tunity to come back at tho news
papers in presenting the case of their
industry to the public as you news
papers nave which, of course, gives
you a great advantage.
But that is not lair to the other
fellow.
All I ask is that you investigate
proms Deror-? misleading the
npt
public.
JOHN AV. WELCH.
More About Ku Kim Klan.
Omaha, Feb. 25. To the Editor of
The Bee: In addition to wljat Mr.
E. F. Morenrty had to say about m,
Ku Klux Klan it will bo well to re
pent at this time that the suprc-tn.'
court of tho United States midm
scathingly denounced the Ku
Klan as a band of outlaws, en,
throats and murderers and demandd
their suppression.
In the palmy days of tho Klan.
young man that I was acqunluti ,
with and who was a Quaker of th,
most devout kind, was hired to tend
school In the state of Mississippi m,,;
went down there to begin his work
He had only taught there a fw Mum
when a committee from the Ku Klip.
Klan called on him and asked hit
what his politics might be. He re
plied that he did not come down
there to tnke any part In politics
But the committee insisted on hi:
telling his politics and when he told
them that when he was home in
Iowa, he was a republican, they gave
him 3 days to get out of the state
or take the consequences.
That is only a mild sample of the
work done by that desperate ganc
of outlaws, for they were guilty of
many crimes against white people hr
well as black.
I said when the misnamed, "Birtli
of a Nation" was being shown all
over the north, tha that spectacular
production ought to be suppressed
for it was gotten up simply to glnrlf
the misdeeds of the cowardly Ku Klux
Klan, and to help spread southern
ideas all over thq northern states,
the soealled "Birth of a Nation" wan
forbidden In a Rood many cities and
it ought to, be suppressed for good.
We have seen enough of southern
rule In this country in the last eight
vears, and we would nave seen even
more of it, had the people not re
belled against tha rules of the
Southern, oligarchy and elected a
Republican Coneres in 1918. For If
that Congress, the present one that
Is just about to expire, had not been
Republican, the Southern democrats
planned to have a bill passed provia
ine for tho payment of hundreds of
millions of war debts of the confed-nrar-v
And thfl same scheme would
have been carried out, had Cox bein
elected lastNovember.
AVe want no Ku Klux Klan In Ne
braska or in any other-states of the
north. There Is plenty of crime in.
the country today, without having It
still worse by having a secret crim
inal organization in our midst. If
there is any attempt to organize the
Ku Klux Klan in Nebraska, it should
be forbidden by law.
FRANK A. AGNEW.
Reds and Armenians Unite
In Attack Against Tiflis
London, Feb. 27. The bolshevist
force attacking Tiflis which was re
cruited from all the Russian regi
ments in the Caucasus and Azerbai
jan has united with the red Armen
ians, according to a Tiflis message
to the Exchange Telegraph from its
Constantinople correspondent. He
adds that the Georgian army is in
good order.
SAID TO BE FUNNY.
lie Tou know I love
marry me?
She But my dear boy,
only a weeK ago. -
He Oh, was that you? London Opln
Ion.
you, will you
I refused you
Mrs. Veil Oven (an ardent spiritualist
Sine my old man died T have been
able to have a chat with him, which Is
more than I had when he was alive that
Is. after he took up golf. London Opinion.
let
his attractiveness to infinity. Its influence , on
his senses was scarcely less potent. One whose
vision was not distracted by the magic garment
might have found the lady plain, but because of
the spell woven by the love-lorn Persian maiden
the lady in his arms became a phantom -of de
light. ' He kissed her again, and this time, as
the poet has delicately phrased it, he drew her
whole soul through her lips, as sunlight drink
eth dew. It was sweet but it was perilous. He
fought as one does in a dream, for he felt him
self slipping from the velvet arms of love into
tbe iron arms of the law. Then suddenly the
-spell was broken.
IT is told of Bidcl, the French animal tamer,
that, confronted by Madame Bidel after a wild
night with a friend, he ran into the tiger's cage
for -refuge, and that the lady cried "Coward!"
This is a vintage wheeze whfch we suspect goes
farther back than Bidel.
OLD GAG: "IS YOUR WIFE ENTERTAINING
THIS WINTER?"
(From the Iowa Falls Sentinel.)
Mrs. J. Lampert and Mrs. E. A. Gardner
entertained a number of ladies at a "little
girls" party Thursday afternoon. They will
also entertain their husbands next Tuesday
evening.
RUSSIAN sables have come down in price
20 per cent, but a sable is still worth two bushels
of rubles, dry measure.
AT HOME.
When I come back again to the old places
I find the old thoughts there.
The old dreams like forgotten faces 1
In the doorway, in the curve of the sair.
The old faith worn and disregarded
Hangs In the dust of my disdain, '
And an old love long ago discarded
Flutters and stirs again.
JESSICA.
ANOTHER happy headline for the Nutt vs.
Xtitt divorce suit, suggested by Battle Creek:
"Two Kutts Will Soon be Loose."
Misuses of the Gideon Bible.
Sir: A guest In a hotel at Galva had used a
Gideon Bible to prop open the transom. In my
effort to rescue the book, it fell to the floor and
the cover came off. I trust the r. a. will not
place' a demerit mark against my name.
, F. B. T.
FROM all accounts, "Dulcy" is that not too
common thing, a really entertaining play.
OF COURSE WE KNOW NOTHING OF
THE SORT.
Sir: Of course you know that Wayne Fiddler
of A'alparaiso, Ind., sells violins. Hf M. P.
I WANT to be a diplomat
And with the envoys stand,
A-wetting of my whistle in
A desiccated land.
' "WILSON to Ride with Harding at in
augural.'" The first and last ride together.
AS our esteemed neighbor says, the Harding
cabinet is strong at the ends but weak in the
middle. However, fines coronant opus.
B. L. T.
, The Inconceivable War
Worse'n Einstein Theory.
Mr. Wilson will go down in history a
man who evolved the peace that passcth all un
dcrstanding. Kno.xvillc Journal and Iribune
From the New York Times.
Viscount Grey, whose imperishable
renown it is that he exerted all the
resources of his statesmanship to
prevent the conflict in Europe which
became a world war, spoke at the
National, Liberal Club in London
Tuesday night on the subject of
British-American relations. At about
the same time Rear Admiral H. M.
Huse of the United States Navy dis
cussed American naval expansion at
a dinner of the Society of the Cin
cinnati in this city. "I know," said
the Admiral, who is on the active
list, "that it will make some of you
catch your breath if I say that we
shall have to have a, navy large
enough to fight England." Admiral
Huse's idea of naval expansion seem
ed to be that the Anglo-Japanese
treaty of alliance must be reckoned
with, that our naval expansion
should be adjusted to the alliance.
OneT of the Admiral's observations
was: "Take Germany; we know she
built herMiavy aaalnst England." It
seemed to be his impression that war
might occur between Great Britain
and the United States and that the
United States might have to do bat
tle with both Great Britain and Ja
pan. There was doubtless a catch
ing of brpath among his hearers,
members of the patriotic society and
their guests. It was a Rear Admiral
of the navy and the commandant of
the New York yard vWio was speak
ing to them.
-In, his address at the National
Liberal Club A'iscount Grey recog
nized the value of a solution of the
Irish problem as a solvent of Anglo
American friction. He realized that
the disturbed state of affairs in Ire
land affected Anglo-American rela
tions injuriously. A'iscount Grey was
too discreet to speak of the damage
done to good-wH1 by active propa
ganda here. He regarded war be
tween Great Britain .and the United
States as "unthinkable and incon
ceivable," and he wont on to say of
the proneness of some people to con
sider that war might come:
T would much rather that .
people, especially in the United
States, where they have been
discussing this question of the
Inconceivable, brought out the
plain fact that we brave a
treatv with the United - States
which, if it be observed, will
make war practically impossible.
We have a treaty under which,
if the two Governments can
not aerree. -4hev will resort to a
commission which will investi
gate and report and recommend
a settlement, and under which
a vpar's time is given for re
flection before a breach of the
peace takos.place.
Consciousness of the Anglo-Japanese
treatv of, alliance is general in
the United Stales, as Viscount Grey
observed, although knowledge of the
exact text is less common. Accord
ingly! he pointed out. that when the
treaty was to be amended the sug
eestion was made to the Japanese
Government to embody in It a provi
sion "to make it clear,"- to quote
Viscount Grey, "thnt in the event of
a quarrel hetween Japan and any
country with whom we (Great Brit
ain) had a treaty of universal arbi
tration there was no obligation upon
us to do otherwise than, to keep the
treaty, This clause was Intended to
apply to the particular treaty we af
terward made with the United
Sintos " Tlio .T.umnew. said A'isi-ount
tnc!.;rcv. --cteii "in a suirit of fairness
end f t'-"fi st'tesmansnip," agree
ing to tho amendment. Admiral
Huse's hearers must have recovered
their breath when they read Vis
count Grey's exposition of the im
probability of either Great Britain
or the United States treating the ar
bitration agreepient as a "scrap of
paper," and his explanation that
Great Britain was not bound by her
treaty with Japan i to become her
ally in the event (of a war between
L Japan and the United States.
'.'' Gilt Edge.
A Country club housewife hired a
darkey to carry three tons' of coal
from the curb to the basement the
other day. A little later the housewife
discovered that she had no money ex
cept a $5 bill. Calling the darkey,
who was about half through with the
job, she asked him if he could change
the bill so that he could get his pay.
"No'm," he replied. "I cain't. 'But I
c'n get it changed over at the groe'ry
sto'e." The woman hesitated, trying
to decide whether to take a chance.
"Don' you worry, Missus," the dar
key assured her. "I'll come back
wld de change. An' just to show you
It's all right, I'll go after it right now
and leave this other ton of coal I
ain't carried in yet out in the street
as s'curity. Kansas. City Star.
-
Operation Successful.
A drunkard of long standing has
been reformed by an operation which
removed a bone that pressed against
the brain. The Detroit News also re
ports a number of cures effected by
the removal of a brass rail that waa
pressing against the foot. Kansas
City Staj v
Oil and Friction.'
Considering the fact that oil is
supposed to be a lubricant, it cer
tainly does cause an awful lot of
friction in international affairs. Cin
cinnati Enquirer.
Bill Collector But why do - you
your wtre spend an your money?
.Mr. Henperk Because. I'd rather ar
rue with you than with her. The Amer
lean Legion Weekly.
a neighbor. "Hear
fever? How's his
"Well, Bin." askfirt
the boss has had
temperature today?"
The hired man scratched his head and
decided nbt to commit himself.
"'Taln't fer me to say," he replied.
"He died last night." The American Le
gion Weekly.
SHORT-ARM JABS.
In the old diys the king kept a
court fool. There was no Congress
at that time. Baltimore Evening
Sun.
Nevada has passed a bill eliminat
ing the easy divorce. AVhat attrac
tion has the Sagebrush state to of
fer in lieu thereof? St. Louis Star.
It's back to films for Theda Bara.
She's going to revamp the movies.
Arkansas Gazette.
AVhen you talk about "the sick
man of Europe" nowadays, it is nec
essary to give the first and last
names. Minneapolis Tribune.
Judging from the amount of mate
rial in the average silk dress, a lot
of silk worms have had to Join the
army of the unemployed. Nashville
Tennessean.
There is no real suffering in Mex
ico now, except that of the schoolboy
who is trying to learn the dates of
all the revolutions. Baltimore Sun.
Volunteer Traffic Officer
Number 184
If you see an automobile
driver pai on the left tide of
a street car, t
HE IS
"OUTSIDE THE LAW"
$200 Reward
for the recovery of the valu
able papers contained irr the
safety deposit boxes taken
from our vault by robbers on
February 23. These papers
were probably thrown aside
bv the robbers during their
flight.
A proportion of the reward
will be paid for recovery of
any part of ttie papers. Com
municate with the
BANK OF HOWE,
I Howe, Nebraska.
"What are the chances of my recoveh
fnfr. doctor?"
"One hundred per cent. Medical records
show that nine out of every 10 die ot
the disease you have. Yours is the 10th
case I've treated. Others all died. You're
bound to get well. Statistics are sta
tistics." The American Legion Weekly.
T4lk about our Sunday blue laws, here's
a decree Issued not long ago by the
mayor of a little commune In the Py
renees: "Whereas the young people of the com
mune are wont to meet and dance every
Sunday after mass, and the noise they
make freightena the cocks, hens, and other
Mmals of the village, we hereby prohibit
''ancing within the bounds of the com
mune during the hours In which the
domestic animals take their repose."
Boston Transcript.'
Artist -Materials
1513 Doug. Street
The Art and Music Slore
9
Soemeirset Coal
Highest Grade Bituminous Free
Burning Big Hard Lumps No Slack
Updike Lumber & Coal Co.
General Office, 45th and Dodge Streets
Phone Walnut 0300
Intensely interesting Bcc Want
Ads.
Honest Advice on
How to 'Keep
Dr. W. A. Evans, who contrib
utes a daily column of health
notes to The Bee, is a widely
recognized authority. He stands
high in his profession, tlis ad
vice and suggestions are in ac
cord with common sense ideas,
which form the basis of treat
ments prescribed by a large per
centage of the medical profes
sion. He is not a faddist, nor does
he offer cure-alls. His sugges
tions are, scientific, sound and
based on ' experience. He uses
plain, straightforward language,
unburni6hed by high-sounding
medical terms the average reader
cannot understand.
Many Bee readers have found
his advice valuable.
His "How to Keep Well" col
umn appears daily on the edi
torial page of The Bee.
Dr. Evans will answer, either personally or through his news
paper column, questions from Bee readers on hygiene, aanita
tion and prevention of disease. Addrera the letters in care of
the Omaha Bee
W J7 vans