V? T
TilK RliK: OMAHA, SUNDAY. FKBRUARY 27. 1921.
The Married Life of
Helen and Warren
;Wrren' Bluff Deceives the Room !
Clerk of Crowded London
Hotel.
( '1 lie Kitat, dimly-lit rotunda vu
! somberly iinirtr!ive with the gloomy
'KraiideuY ot the older London ho' -
icls. ,
1 It was 8:30, and the after-dinner'
lonngs"s were settled on the massive
leallif,- coudie that encircled the
: aulted' lobby.
, "1 do nope we can get a room. '
anxtoused llekti as iluy appronched.
Vic desk
' 'U'eVwe'te not up against it as
wc -rc tu Paris," War'ftu yielded
'.h..ir iii.-fl. in :m cwr ;.. .t
least we can sneak the lingo.''
i ''Dear, those people crossed the
Channel with us," indicating a couple
'tunv ui consultation with the room
j clerk. "Don't ou remember that
; mink coat? And he's turning them
away!"
Drawing 'nearer, they heard the
Milan's insistent:
"But all o:ir baggage is here! Can't
on give us two .single rooms.'
"I told you. sir, there is not a
M-'irntlt rrmii! in tin bruise " '
j "Do you hear that?" whispered
f Helen. "1 said London would he
, ........ . , ..... -
mil, but vou ite
er will wire ahead
! for rooms."
! "Don't have to." with a shrug.
!Xow yon leave this to me. I'm go
ring to get a rooia right here and a
' good one, too. Watch me put .over a
As' the disappointed couple re
luctantly turned from the desk. War
jren stepped up briskly.
"I'm Mr. Curtis W. I-:. -Curtis.
I What have you reserved for mc?"
j "Just a moment, sir." Taking from
jthe drawer an indexed note-book, he
i turned to "C" "No reservations
ihere, Mr. Curtis. When did you
write?"
! "I didn't write. Didn't vou get a
wire firfm Paris?" .
, He "glanced through a pile of
Itelcgrams and then consulted with
' ihn rabirr
I "I'm vcrv sorrv. Mr. Curtis, but
there's no record of yonr wire."
"Well, if it's been mislaid that's
inot my fault. You'll have to take
fare of us. I want a good double
room for three days'. We sail
Thursday."
Another consultation. Then the
clerk turned the register toward
Warren.
''I'll have to gjve you a room we're
reserving for jmother guest. Show
this -gentleman up to 246," handing
the bov a key. "Anv baggage, Mr.
Curtis?" , ,
"I left the trunks with the head
'porter. -Have thchi sent up-xat once."
"Right away, sir."
Helen caught Warren's jubilant
wink as they followed the page into
the lift, and out again dowtthe wide
carpeted hall to 246.
it was a huge square room with
lieavy walnut furniture, maroon
plush draperies, and the same air of
gloomy grandeur that pervaded the
halls.
''Oh, you're wonderful!" she gave
him an exuberant hug as the door
closed after th.e boy.
"He fell for it all right." with a
rjmckle, shrugging off his overcoat.
"And the wav vou did it! You
V didn't say you'd wired you just
isked if he hadn't received a wire
;ion of the truth, to which as a rule
he so rigidly adhered.
' " was to damn tired to scurry
around London tonight. He w as easy
lapped it tip. They always have a
room up their sleeve. That was all
hunk about this being reserved.
Great guns, it's cold in here!" i
"Dear. I wouldn't like that now."
as he drew out some watches to start
off the grate fire. "Wait until we
come up . from dinner.",
"1 want to thawouj before I wash
up," holding the match- under the
twisted paper.. '-'Punch that hell for
some hot water. Thank heavens, we
ran" ask for what we want here,
That pantomime business got on myJ -
nerves, tsetore we go to ram again,
we'll take a few lessons in French 1"
"Here comes our baggage." at the
sound of a truck rumbling down the
hall. " .
"That's all, sir?'' when the porter
had brought in their trunks and
steamer roll. 'Thank you, sir."
Pocketing Warren's shilling, he
hurried out.
"IJIere, you're not going to open
that now." as Helen unlocked her
trunk. "It's after nine let's go
down and have something to eat."
"I just wanted to see if this came
all right? I was so afraid it would
break," unrolling from one of his
undershirts an eight-ounce bottle of
French perfume. "And I want to
take out this hat it's getting
crushed."'
Impatiently he strode tlown the
hall, leaving her to switch off the
lights, lock the door and run after
him.
- "Let's dalk down, as she joined
him at the lift. "It's onlf two flights
and I love these broad stairs."
The great curved stairway was
built onthe same massive, stately
lines that Signified every part of
the spacious old hotel.
, "It's all so impressive this ' old
wqrjd atmosphere," taking Warren's
arm as they descended. "I feel as
though we were going down to some
-royal banquet. Think how, many
wonderful costumes have trailed
down these stairs" s,
"Well, , hustle," dragging her on.
"You can .get your atmosphere on
":e way up. Just now I'm gunning
r a thick mutton chop, cabbage
. J a ufcied poi-to. We "r.ae enough
'a las' in - Paris. Some good plain
English grub will hit the right
spot."
Again in the rotunda, they turned
down the corridor, paved with
Irlajk-aud-wbite markle sqquares.
Through the great arched doorway,
and they entered the lofty dining
room deserted except for a few
diners near the .door. , .
"All Hot Dishes off at Ten
O'clock,"- was the conspicuous sign
under a wall light.
"Jove, notvery cheerful in here.
How about going out somewhere?"
"Xo. dear, we're too tired. And we
were up so late last night. Let's have
something here and get to bed ear
ly." - .
"There's not much on now, sir", an
nounced the glum looking waiter
who seated them. Only cold meats
and salads after 10."
"It's not K it's only 20 minutes
of. And I don't want any cold meat,"
Warren's tone Was emphatic. "I'll
have a grilled chop, cabbage, baked
potato, some Stilton cliccsc and a
unit ot bitter,
"I think I'll liave-u tomato omelet
and some toasted lmifiins," ordered
('Helen. aoidir.g meat, for she felt
1 !linhtly iirt from the channel trip,
: "Surely looking cuss," grunted
Warren as the waiter stumped off.
t "Sore because we came in late. Ev-
jerybody else about through," glanc-
' i"R around.
"I forgot to order some mustard
; and cress!" her favorite English
' -alad.
"You can got that-at Simpsons.
I We'll go there tomorrow- night."
; . ,A',d Cheshire cheese the next
might! That leaves only one more
dinner," eagerly "planning their three
days in London.
An interminable interval ' before
the waiter finally appeared with a
tray.
"It's too late for an .omelet." as
he placed the rhop. cabbage and-po-tatoes
before Warren. "Will the
lady have some cold meat instead?"
"Too late?" brusked Wamen.
"How's that?"
"It's after 10, sir.""
"(t wasn't when 1 ordered. It
was 20 minute? of! Now vou sec
that" we get that omelet and get it
ciuick!"
"Sorry, sir, but the chef's gone."
" don't care who's gone or who
cooks it. I want that omelet!"
Radiating animosity, the waiter
retreated. In a few moments he
returned with a pewter mug of
foaming bttter--but no omelet.
"That omelet coining?" demanded
Warren, menacingly.
"Xo, sir. There's no eggs."
"Xo eggs?" explosively. "Have you
the gall to telj mc there're no eggs in
this hotel? Send the headwater
here!"
"Oh, (iear, ncer mind! hastily.
"111 take some cold meat."
"No you won't! Wc ordered an
omelet and ordered it in time. We're
going to get it," grimly, "if 'I have
to raise the roof!"
"What's the trouble, sir?" a pomp
ous headwaiter came up.
"Wc ordered a tomato omelet.
First this waiter said it was too late
to serve it now he tries to tell me
there're no eggs!"
"The store-room's locked, sir.
Everything but the cold meat and
salads goes off at llLerfclock.
"Well, I ordered that omelet at
20 minutes of 10 and I intend to
have it. ou can't pull that 'no egg'
yarn on me. Hustle along that
omelet."
"It's impossible, sir. The store
room's closed and the chef's gone."
"I'll see the manager!" throwing
dowtxjiis napkin, Warren pushed
back Jiis chair.
"Oh, dear, don't! Please don't I'd
just as soon have " "'
But with wrathful strides he dis
appeared through the wide arched
doorway.
Oh, why had she'brdered an ome
let! .Once started, she knew that
Warren would go to any extreme.
Above all she dreaded a further
scene.
After an anxious 10 minutes he
reentered. With -him was a tatl frock
coated Englishman, whose authori
tative air proclaimed him the man
ager. A curt, low-voiced order to
the headwaiter, and he came over to
their tabic.
"Js there anything else you'd
like, sir? I'll have them send up a
freshchop. I'm afraid that't cold."
"Oh, that's all right. It's my fault
if it is," admitted Warren.
"Dear, he couldn't have been
nicer!" when the manager with
drew. "Yes, he was pretty) decent. They
tried to hedge at the desk said he
was out. But I saw a door marked
'Manager's Office,' and I walked
in."
In- an amazingly short time the
now chastened waiter "brought on a
large frothy omelet, delicately
browned.
"Ah, that's better!" Warren .view
ed it approvingly, "nothing like get-
ring wnat you go atter. v.
'You always do," glowed Helen
forking into the onielet generously
filled with fresh, npt canned, toma
toes. "Well, I'm not afraid to put, up
a kick, with a gratified grin. "And
they need a littlfc. jazzing up over
here."
"Dear, you're wonderful you
ALWAYS get what you want!"
quick to lavish -the flattery to which
he was most susceptible. "Think
how you got that room!"
"Yes, that wasn't a bad bluff,"
he chuckled. "We'll work ( that on
some of our smart-Alec room clerks
at home. Hotels are too high-handed
these days soak you right and left
and give you nothing for it. 'Bout
time the public had a come-back.
Yrou can bet I'll put one over when
ever I get the chance!"
Copyright. 3931, by Mabel Herbert Harper
Almshouse Inmate Gets
$4,000 of .Washerwoman
Detroit, Feb.- 20. Because Caro
line Lena Kitsch worked vigorously
over the wa'shtub, Frederick Witzka.
will not stay in the. Eloisc alms
house. Witzka, 70. for 10 years an inmate
of Eloise. wilj inherit the estate of
the .washerwoman Vvho through
years of toiling saved $4,000. She
was Witzka'f 'half-sister.
Judge Command of probate , court
today appointed the Union Trust
company guardian of Witzka and
administrator of the estate, despite
pleas of Frank Furstow, 344 Law
ton avenue, a nephew of the old
man, who vdluntecred to look after
the money.
Furstow admitted that this affec
tion for his uncle had never been
potent enough' to cause him to visit
Witzka in the almshouse.
Cincinnati U. Girls Hold
Session In Police Court
Cincinnati, Ohio, Feb. 26. Police
court was in session.
It was a unique court.
The judge, jury, attorneys "and
court officers were girls. .
The dozen girl jurors found all the
45 girls placed on trial guilty. ,
Some of the girl prisoners were
given suspended sentences. T,hree
girls were sentenced to put on striped
suits and sing a convict song. Four
girlsJiad to do a pillow dance. Four
wer sentenced to have their hair
redressed so as to do away with big
ear pliffs.
It was the annual freshman girls'
trial at the University of Cincinnati
tinder the auspires of the girls' vigi
lance committee.
Satisfactory Result of a Correspondence Course in Personality and Charm Development
Dirty Work at the
Cross Roads
By JAMES J.
When Mr. Scott wrote that poetry
about "jull many a shaft at random
sent . finds mark its archer little
meant," he probably had the bandit
business in his mind. Anyway,
while there isn't any way to put
any bandits in jail for it, they are
just as guilty of what has been
happening to me as if they1 had
stuck a pistol under my nose and
ordered me to stand and deliver. A
lot of automobilists who jnever
meant mc any barm are particeps
criminis and accessories before, dur
ing and after the fact. There isn't
any way to have them put in jail,
cither. If there was, and I knew
about it, that's where a lot of them
would be.
The bandits I have mentioned
have been pretty busy lately around
our suburb, and what with the hold
tips they actually committed and
what with the holdups that niclo
drdniatic chauffeurs said tljey con
mitted the public, as the editorial
writers . say, has been thoroughly
Unless youv.see the name
not getting genuine Aspirin
21 years, and proved safe
Ml
SAFETY FIRST! Accept only an "unbroken!1 package" of
genuine "Bayer Tablets of Aspirin," which contains proper direc
tions for Headache,' Earache, Toothache, Neuralgia, Colds, Rheu
matism, Neuritis, Lumbago, and pain generally. Strictly American!
Handy tin boxes of 12 tablets cost but ajew cents Lajger packages.
Aiplrin lithe trade mark of Bayer Manufacture of Monoacetlcacldciter of Eallcyllcacld
ADVERTISEMENT.
Appencllcltts attacks. 'at an)' moment.
even Dersona seemingly .r. food health.
I Usually, hnwenor, it "Is preceded by
siomacn rrouuie or consurHiion. .Many
peoyle havo- a -bowel movement every day,
but H Is not a tXiMPLETE movement
and much old, stale matter ataya in the
system to ferment and cause trouble.
Often there IB inly a tmall passage In the
center' of the bowels while the Hides arc
covered with old, hard matter which sticks
to the bowels and often poisons the sys
tem for months, making you feel tired all
the time and , "half-sick." Bven If your
bowels move slightly each day, that .s
not enough. There must be an occasional
THOROUarf. complete cleansing to bring
out all the accumulated, yoisonoua waste
matter."
Appendicitis Is an Intestinal 'Infection
spreading to the appendix, and It can be
guarded against In lhe same manner in
which you guard against the spread of
throat Infection (aore throat.) When you
hare aore throat, you can often prevent
further trouble 1y using an antiseptic
wash or gargle to destroy- the germa, and
a laxative to carry off the poisons from
the body. Very similar treatment la nec
essary to guard against appendants. But
Instead of an antiseptic wash for the
throat, in INTESTTNAU antiseptic Is nec
essary and a COMPLETE drainage of the
bowel system. .
INTESTINAL ANTISEPTIC.
There Is now offered to the public a
preparation having the DOUBLE action
of an Intestinal antiseptic and a COM
PLETE system cleaner. This preparation,
knnffn a Jk nT.RIl . T.Ti A f I N mm rnllnsnk
It tends to destroy or temove hsrmfuTl
, germa and colon bacilli In toe Intestinal
MONTAGUE.
acouscd. It has been particularly
Liimoymg to nave a bandit boom
just at tins tunc, because almost
every evening folks are bringing out.
from the city valuables that they
don't want to fall into any bandit's
hands, such as sarsaparjlla, and
ginger ale and other things in bot
tles. However, the bandits have been
busy just the "Same, .and while 1
never saw any of them I was one
of the heaviest bandit sufferers -of
the village, as you will see present
ly. Xight bforc last I started to drive
over to see a man who lives in an
other suburb six miles away, who
was going to have a party and had
invited me to it. .
I supposed there was plenty of gas
in the car when 1 left home, but one
of the neighbors had needed some
during the afternoon and had come
cAer with a siphon, to borrow mine.
He meant to tell me about it in time
for mc to get more if I needed it.
Also he didn't mean to take quite
so much out of the tank. This ho
"Bayer" on tablets, you are
prescribed by physicians for
by millions. Say "Bayer"!
T
A O V E KT IK KM E.N T.
1IG1T
rxarnal, thus guarding agntnst aupendli'ieia
uuicj uiat-Hstrn Having moir start nere.
14 Is thn mnst I'OMi'LKTK systrni
cleaner ever offered to the public, aot.n,!
on BOTH upper i.nd lower bowel and
bringing out foul matter which poisoned
the system for months and which notliing
else can dislodge. It brings out all gasps,
thus Immediately relieving pressure on the
heart and other vital oiijana It la as
tonishing the great amount of poisonous
matter AW.ER-1-KA draws from the ali
mentary canal matter : ou never thought
was In your -system. Try It right after a
natural movement and untire how much
MORE foul matter Is brought out which
waa poisoning your system. In slight dis
orders, such as occasional constipation,
sour stomach, gas on the stomach and elek
Ti-Avo Bpoonrui L' 1 . I. K-1 - l A AL
" 1 s uiiiigs rener. A JljI-JK-i-KA
constant surprise to people who
is
have
bowel
rn,H r mm i . . ,.
- - ,ui, ,un ,nnuus one ana wa-
COMPLETE action."" ""'m' P'""nt B
REPORTS FROW rHlSlClANS.
.J."" Ad,M-i- ' my practice and hue
round nothing to excel It." (Signed) lit. W. A.
Line. '
"'. ,oun(' nothing In my 50 Team practice to
excel Adler-l-k." (Signed) Dr. James Wester.
'I ute Adler-l-ka lit all boel cases. 8m requlrs
only one doee." (Stgnni) Dr. K. M. Prettyman.
"After taking Adler-l-aa feet- better than for JO
TUDrilTTIl'fl . i m . ..
n " SFJ iroai my
lit.'
IHimHTJ IT H.bMI
Thanhs to Adlcr-t-ka 1 can sleep all Bight now.
Miieiiiuiv omio noi ao mr eara. (Bigim)
Cera t. Nobleit.
Adler-l-ka la sold hi lending rfrugtfata erery
where. 8"ld la Omaha St Sr'ntur a MeT onoell Drug
ve , ana fw.ni .,.- -
mm ' mmmmmmmmmmmmi
explained to nte afterward, when it
was too late to do me any good.
When 1 got to a cross roads about
three miles out and in the middle of
a wood, the carburetor gave thrte
long and five short pops, and the car
refused to go any farther.
I got out and tested for engine
trouble, and for battery trouble, and
for ignition trouble, and last of all
of course for . gas trouble. Gas
trouble was right. The tank was
dry.
It was at least two miles to the
nearest garage, and I was already
late for the party. The only thing
to do was to stop some friendly pas
serby, and either borrow a little gas
or ask for a ride some place where
I could get it.
That looked easy enough, but I
had forgotten about the bandits.
Cars had beer, passing right along,
so I went out into thestreet to flag
the first that passed.
It was a flivver, who was ambling
along at about 15 miles an hour till
the driver saw mc. Then yelling like
a Comanche, he fed in the gas, and'ff
j ' pl dre(t Mid
Thousands of . others have gotten rid of theirs
without dieting or exercising, often at the rate of
over a pound a day, and without payment until
reduction has taken place.
1 am a licensed practising physician and persiiiid.lv preseribrtlie
treatment for each individual case, thus enabling me to choose
remedies that will produce not only a loss of weight harmlessly,
but which wil) also relieve you of all the troublesome symptoms
of overstoutness suclras shortness of breath, palpitation, indiges
tion, rheumatism, gout, asthma, kidney trouble and various other
afflictions which often accompany verstoutness.
Mv. treatment will relieve that depressed, tired, sleepy feeling,
giving you renewed energy and vigor, a result of the loss of your
superfluous fat.
Vou are not required lto change in the slightest from your
regular mode of living, there, is no dieting or exrreising. It is
simple, easy and pleasant, to-take.
If vou are overstout do not' postpone but sit down right now
and send for my fret) trial treatment and my plan whereby I
am to be paid only after reduction ha taken placa if you so
desire.
- DR. R. NEWMAN
Licensed Physician State or New York
286 Fifth Avenue New York City
Desk H-330
Phone Douglas 2793
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I hadn't got out of the way I'd have
been severely damaged.
I put him down for an ill-mannered
churl, and tried the next one,
a big car that was traveling at a
pretty good clip.
There wasn't any answer my
signal hut a mad rush past me. while
a man in the hack seat yelled some
insult at mc that was lost in the
whir ,,f Tlinlnr
rive cars i incu to stop in i lie
same fashion. The last man slowed
down almost to a standstill, but I
stepped up he threw the car violently
in gear, and shouting. "If you shoot
I'll shoot back," and roed along
down the road.
Well., the "if-at-fii st-you-don't-suc-cecd-try-again"
thing can be over
rone, so 1 wandered around till found
a farm house and knocked at the
i doorv
For a long time there was no
I answer. Then a window over -my
bead was opened, and a voice cried:
I "I've got you covered. Get ou:
of here or von'ie a dead man."
' When 1 reached the car again I
Published
found it surrounded with gentlemen
carrying rifles and conversing in
low tones.
"Who arc you?"- asked two o-r
three of them as I came up.
I told them. t
"Likely story," said one of their
number. "You been standing here
tryin' to hold up cars for the last
halt hour. We've been informed
rf your doings, and have come to
get you." . :
I inquired in turn who they were.
"We're vigilantes," they said. "It's
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Explanations were useless. They
had rifles, and I didn't. Also thcy
seemed a Htt'e timid, and scared
men are always dangerous. So I
went along with them to a village
police station
I got out the next dky,byt it was
too late for the party.
The bi.ndits were to blame for it,
and I'm going :o join the vigilante
and try toget even with them.
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