THE BEE; OMAHA. MONDAY, JANUARY 24 1921. The Omaha Bee DAILY (MORNING) EVENING SUNDAY THB BEBnPUBUSHINQ COMPANY, NtLSON 8. UPDIKE. Pnbliibtr. , MEMBERS OP THE ASSOCUTED PRESS VM auoelattd Pnn, ef wUek Toe Use Is a bmM, II eiumiy wutlM to the in for auNieettoa ef all aeva ainatabaa ma-tee) to II or o4 e&sretie enlM la this wow, and 1W1 tat - local m rubtlohad h.la. All rtcfct at fitibllctuoa of out nwtl BEE TELEPHONES Prlrtt. Branca Itabaofe. Ail for , TI 1AAA it Vanaruawt or PaiMi Waated. 1 JlCT iUUU Far Night Calla Aftar 10 P. M.t Xditortai OtDsrUMAt t irculitloa lxpanraent ...... 44twtllaf DeperUnaU OFFICES OP THE BEE . aUta Olflcat Ktn tod r.raua CobboII Bluffs IS Book SL I South (Ida . Out-ef-Tewn Off Waal Ne Tora ll rift Asa. I Waaklaitoa nun Trltr 10MI. Trier lyOIL Tyler IrotL Mil K It 1311 0 Bt. Btaiar Bias. I farts rraaee 410 But at, Koaora The Bee's Platform 1. New Uaioa PaaseafersStatioa. 2. Coatinuad improvenMat ef the N - braaka Highways, indu-lag tha pare- meat of Maia Thoroughfares leading Into Omaha with a Brick Surface. -4V-A akort, low-rat Waterway from the Cora Bolt to tko Atlaatio Ocoaa. 4. Homo RuU Ckartor for Omaha, witk , City Manager form of CoToramcnt. Harding for National Unity. , The message sent. by Warren G. Harding to the people of the south i one of the most momentous utterances he has indulged since he was nominated at Chicago Jast June. It is the voice of the next president of the United States, about to assume what an eastern paper "de scribes as "the, truly and awful task of making a program and of finding men to execute it." Some parts of this program have been outlined, and among them is that of uniting the nation 'into one harmonious whole, industrially, socially and politically. His proposal to the people of the south thus takes on a high quality of sig nificance. : He writes to them: I want to be instrumental in establishing ' that complete concord of union which I hold to b essential to the American fulfillment. I, realize how the political solidarity of the south followed the unfortunate days of the Civil war. I know how that solidarity has been en couraged, and I think I understand the desire to brcajc it oh the other hand. . . I believe most cordially in prospering America first. ... . Ours is the best market in the world because we are the , largest consumers and the ablest to buy. . . There isnt the slight est excuse for a sectional line in America. We are one people, with" one flag, and it is folly to allow long-time prejudices to standVjn the way of tne fullest understanding and tne ut- most cordiality of relationship. National unity and concord will be more easily established when it is understood that one -section of. the country "tan not permanently prosper at the expense of another. Some in equalities will always exist, because of the un equal' distribution of-ihe favor of nature, but ifv the people agree that the general bounty which" has made the United States the wealthiest and most powerful of all nations is to be shared by all on even terms, the benefit will be enjoyed by aM. It is this very interdependence that- has welded the union so firmly together. Our land is' not held together by pressure from without Whatever sacrifice may attend a relaxation of the political solidarity of the south, assuming such a thin ir to be a sacrifice, will he mnr ftian - -y compensated mrougn ine ireer communication that will be opened as a result Mr. Harding says; it is not merely a republican ambition he expresses. Neither is there ground for scoltfc' I ing the southern people on account of the posi tion they have taken and held so long. Condi tions have cleared the way for .them sto strengthen this position, however, and without sacrifice of any of the traditions of the land. An administration that begins with a plea for national unity, and the intention of prospering: America first, will not be stigmatized as either partisan or parochial. ' ; marriage license is pot similar to getting a dog license. Ten days is not too long to do a life time of thinking. This proposed law is a good one and undoubtedly would cut down the num ber of divorce cases. , Quick, Boy, the Pulmotor. Horace Greeley once said that a' thorough dispersion of parties as often as once in 12 years, iPnot at the close of every presidential contest would be a public blessing. The news that William Jennings Bryan is planning a reorgan ization of the, democratic party on lines to be laid down by himself will cause many to wonder if this Is not the final sign of the disintegration 'of the great rival ofy republicanism. If the measure' of a party's ability to meet new issues is the measure of its properlife, the ' democratic party died,, with the last .election.. Some will-trace its decline to the date , when President Wilson issued his plea to nation " to vote only for democrats for congress, and ignored Mr. Bryan, who alone of the party leaders was nof vocal. Be that as it may, it is plain that the best influences in the party were silenced at the San Francisco convention, and a platform filled with dodging and trifling. was adopted. The campaign, in spite, of Mr. Bryan's warnings, strayed far from the expression of public opinion on public questions, and with the A exception of taking a more or less definite stand on the league of nations,, touched nothing live. Whether Mr. Bryan will be able to bring back the democratic party to a position of "im portance where it really, stands for any settled principles cannot be predicted. If he fails, the result will be a new party, which, it is to be feared, will make the issue one of men rather than of principles. , ' v Prosperity and theXand Bank. - Frequently n the divorce courts tlje story is heard of couples who decided to get married onj the spur of the moment and repented t leisure. "Let's get married," 'says the young manbetween steps in the dance haft. "Sure, I donrt mind," tomes the "reply. And the next daf this couple, who may neve.r have seen each ? other before, get their license. ' -It would be unfair? to. say that this is at ali usual, but it is fair to state that 'there is too little consideration, given to the meaning 'of matri mony by many young couples. A bill which "is to be introduced in the state legislature of Nebraska would remedy this by requiring that applications fof licenses must be displayed in .the county court for 10 days before they can-be issued. This" provision, while casting no ot staclc across the path of true love, might save ' a. . i a young couple from a union that would onng only .sorrow. A lot of serious thinking can be done in 10 days. There also will, be oppor- tunity for relatives to avail themselves of their privijege of criticism, a' thing that is not always without its benefits, though often unwise. The main, thing, however, is tha$ the young men and women be given the impression that getting a Stiffening Our Financial Backbone. To have been born and, reared on a farm is the pride of. many of the most successful men in the cities of America, yet thee may be in their boast too much "ol the feeling that good fortune was still with them, when they deserted the soil for the pavements. Secretary Danielsou of the Nebraska State Board of Agriculture with right emphasizes in his annual report the neces-' sity for placing agricultural life on the plane o human and economic opportunity where it belongs." , " ' ' "There Is perhaps no single solution for the 'situation that farmers now are facing," he de claresi ."but there are many steps which can and should be taken to place agriculture on a more satisfactory basis and to stabilize the business of farming. Not in the interest of the farmers alone( but in the interest of the nation as a whole, the matter is of such tremendous importance to our entire population that it should be recognized not only as a state, but as a national problem as well, and dealt with as such.' . , ' He continues: We must adopt every feasible means to enable the farmer to adjust himself to changes in economic conditions such as have recently Occurred. It should be a fact -that when the farms of the country produce abundantly the consuming public will be liberally supplied with food at reasonable prices, the farmer taking his profit because of large production, and the consumer bearing his fair, propor tionate share for having available and ade quate supplies at reasonable cost. In general we should expect it to be, true that thearmer's condition is improved in direct proportion to the number of bushels of wheat or torn that he produces. However, k frequently happens that when all , farmers nave extraordinarily good crops during the y!ar,' low prices leave him worse off than he has been in other years, with shorter crops and higher prices. One thinsr which I feel sure would help to remedv v this is some means of carrying over surplus irom years ot mgn production to periods of lower production, whenever feasible. Thus should more attention be given to marketing and the development of the latent consump tion demand in years of large supply. Here is the starting point for a new agricul tural 'prograni - The. farmers throughout the nation are bringing forward their proposals. It will neither be desirable to give them an entirely free hand to remake this basic industry in dis regard of the mutual interest of the urban popu lation, nor to fail to bring forth counter pro posals or strike a reasonable compromise with thetn on their demand The question of agri cultural prosperity. Ts one in which all classes. should bf concerned and these classes must recognize their duty or Buffer the consequences of their own folly. - . ALincO'TypcorTvyo Haw to tko Lisa, (at tia ajuiaa (all waaro thay aaay. " Why Martens Is Leaving. .When Ludwig C. A. K. Martens and his retinue took steamer at New York for Stock holm, expelled frm this country by order of the government, he left behind a criticism of the administration that should not gain him or those he represents any friends. Expressing his in ability to understand the division of responsi bility between the executive departments, he also laments his ignorance as to the future plans pf the United States,' adding, "nor can I tell in what direction this policy of ignoring the exist ence of the established government of the larg est country in Europe jvill lead." Mr. Martens never more perfectly exhibited his insincerity or that of his so-called govern ment than in the sentence quoted. He can not help knowing that recognition of the Lenine Trotsky combination is an invitation to them. They are devoted, riot to the bolshevization of Russia alone, but to the application of their peculiar creed to all the world. Communication with them must be with the understanding that they propose the utter destruction of all institu tions' not fashioned after their model. They have no middle ground. ' Expulsion of Martens does not indicate a fear of revolution, however much the resident reds may plume themselves on the prospect; it is merely an entirely proper .expression of "the im patience of the American republic with the pre tenders who have so impudently affronted our general intelligence and so outrageously abused our patient hospitality.' As Martens was taking ship he must have received the news that a re trial had been denied William Brbss Lloyd "and his associates, thus bringing a step nearer the imprisonment he has won by his bent to destruc tion. In this may be discovered the. sentiment of the land towardi revolution, at least of the type represented by the bolshevists bf Russia, The direction of our gox-ernment is not that leading outfrom Moscow. Accidents and Kings. Motorists who have run down children in the streets sometimes race away and leave their victims to be picked up by others, but not so King Albert of Belgium. When the royal car met an accident of this kind on the Louvain road, the king sorrowfully bore the body of a little girl to Jiejparents' cottage and we.nt to summon doctors to aid her injured brother. -Jn other times kings might have been in clineti to proceed ruthlessly on their way, just as do some less important automobile drivers. But those kings are not of the kind of Albert, any more than are those free-born American? who sometimes attempt to sneak away from the consequences of. art accident, At all events! the disagreement between the .Labor department and the State department over what shall be done with Cork's latest mayor should demonstrate to England that American . opinion is divided, which amounts to a condi tion of neutrality. ' ' ' , Of course a deriiocratic weather bureau .wouldn't give Nebraska's republican electors the right kind of weather to fly to Washington. The news jhat the coal o'perators don't like Senator Calder's bill will recommend it to all who are struggling to keep, heat in their, furnace. Strange, isn't it, that it is not the women who are objecting to the secret sessions of the legis lature? - i i Congress Ought to rush the .new immigration bill before the kaiser tries to land at Etfis Islind. The return of the S-cent cigaf would, be a great saving to candidates for office.' Tlit sheep growers are not the only ones who suffer from shoddy clothing. 4 s x TO POSTERITY A DEDICATION'. , i Tuna by Michael "William Balfe.) When otlxr pens and other lipa Their tales of mirth shall tell, Whew newar quirka and newer quips Tour megrims ahall dispel, 'There may, parhapa, in such' a. day Soma recollection be Ot ona But no, I'm free to say Tou'llfiot remember me. ( '' V . Although these lyrics will not live v To "hold you in their spoil, J Tia sweet to know 1 ahall not give A whoop in farthest Halt. When finished is this grateful task. Contented. I ahall be; Nor now, nor ever, shall I ask 'Phat you remember me. , . You'll not remember, Not re-me-he-hemmmm-be nieeeeee! RECOGNIZING his wife among the crowd filmed in a hotel on New Year's eve, a Missouri man has started suit. It seems that a flashlight picture ot a banquet is ot some use. alter all. HAVE" THEY SEARCHED THE HAYSTACKS? (From the Boston American.) v Murray Needle of Dorchester has appealed to the American to aid him In finding his wife, Mrs. Augusta Needle. Ha Bays she left hur - home June 15 and has not been heard from or" seen since then. 'YOUNG people jump from the cradle onto the dance floor,'" declares Judge Sabath. Due, of course, to an infantile desire to "toddle." SALTY IMMORTALS. fcir-i. Messrs. Bodnsh and Call run a fish market in Vineyard Haven, Mass. Seems as if they should be mae to change their names. Yet they have been allowd to do business under tnose Jonns & Henrya'ior 15 years to my Knowledge. '-- OUR correspondent is also of opinion that the great quantity of duds that Mr. Hardjng has ordered indicates inside information concerning isiac iu mc larm on imported wooiens. , s To V. O. B., from Minneapolis. Oh, Frederick O'Brien, For months I've been try in' To lan from the lure of your lay Of the treasures of Tahiti And tropic Papeete, V (If to rhyme these one muslc'ly may); -It really was wrong o' You to sins of Rarotonga And expect me to remain In this place; Why should I write ditties In these arctic Twin Qfties f To some mere Scandinavian face? Oh, Frederick O'Brien, It may .be- you ware lyin' ' With your blarney of South Sea foam But I feel that I jmust know a Lot more o that Aloha , Than I find in this Swedish home! . - REFRAIN. So I'm 'paddling my canoe to Rarotanga, On the trail of Melville and Cook; That is where I feel that I bolong-a. Sines' I read that Odyssean book; Oh, I hear the south seas splashing on the coral Where work is a thing taboo; At least maybe I'll go, Though my progress seems slow In my merely lyrical canoe! RIQUARIUfe. i IF Mr. Harding's Toledo tailor, Paul Gettum desires a foeman worthy of his yardstick, he should try to get Hon. Cal Coolidge for a new suit. YES, YES GO ON! (Ad in the Atlantic Monthly.) V Mrs. Whirfton went to Morocco at the ex press invitation ofthe Governor-General. She was received by the grtat chiefs of the cities she visited, and by their harems, and had ex ceptional opportunities of witnessing little Known ceremonies, AN institute of languages in Boston con cludes its invitation to free Spanish lectures: "In order to insure a seat, turn over and send the postcard in properly filled out." ' ' ' THE VETEKAX. ' , , (Michigan Version.) " A gloomy Michisrander. , -; He wiDed his streamtnir "Oh, for a good old-fashiened stew, Just once before I die! I can't drink Wine of Pepsin, For in my cap and g&wnv . I have been drunk at Larry's, In old Ann Arbor town." How to Keep Well By DR. W A. EVANS Qutttiens concerning hytienc, sanitation and pravantlon et diaaaaa, aubmitttd to Dr. Evana by raadara at Tha Bee, will be anawered personally, aubject to , areper. limitation, where a etamped, addressed envelope is enclosed. Dr. I Evans will not anaka diafnosle ar preacribe for individual dlseaaea. Addraat ; leltera in care oi t ha Bt: ,. Copyright, 19:i0. by Dr. W. A. Evans. HUMAN MIND AS AN ENGINE. Some persons have objected to the conclusion that the putting-off type of mind was more of a worry beget ter than the bucklng-thecllmb type, as outlined in the story of a day or two ago. v Tha man who, having a ridge to climb, faros it. puts on steam, and climbs it In a hurry, as a rule, is the man who spells duty with a big l, one who carries responsibility. Being of the type he is, people try to unload on him, and he frequently permits them. For all these reasons this type furnishes many worries. However, mapy of this class are able to accomplish and then put the task out of mind. Now let us return to the third type of mind, that compared with the man who veered off and follow ed the foot of the ridge before finally cnjnbing it It said in this group there were several types. I mention ed the shrewd, the opportunists, the mentally dishoaest. I speciiieaiiy excluded the loafers. By loafers I mean those who are carelessly flrifting, those who may eventually pull up at the southeast corner of the park, but who are in no great hurry to get there, nor very much interested in apy phase of the matter. Of course, they furnish no worries. In the group are found the indecl sives, those given to indecision. Practically all ' members of that arrouD are worriers and the large proportion of indecisives in the group who veer along tne root or ine riagc (irresponsible for the statement that the thlird group furnished most of the worriers. , In the group are found many of the mentally inferior complex and thev furnish some, of the worriers. The comments alluded to give mo op portunity to set down another pnase of the mental meanderings of that morning. People who are mentally inferior to those with whom they are in con tact, who recognize that inferiority and who chafe against conditions are grouped into a class the "men tally inferior complex." As the name implies, the condition is a complex. The man in this group has n ten- horse power mhid and a fifteen horse power ambition, or desire, whichever you wish to call it. In consequence nis engine generally overworks until it breaks and then it lays up. Wheif he comes to a rid?g, if (his drive is working well he turns up the hill and goes at it with a vim. People take off their hats to hie power and energy. But if his ma chine is out of whack, he will veer off and follow the foot of the ridge.J wnne in tnis arming stage ne wor ries, frets a.nd envies. The nian-of this type is an inter, mittent egotist. He also is intermit tently given to self-distrust and vacfl latlon. He swings back and fourth be tween, being an egomaniac and being a melancholiac. When he has plenty of drive ho, accomplishes much for himself., and, even for the general ood far mora than any one who calmly analyses his mental capacity would think possible. There is enor mous driving, accomplishing power in a moderate degree of egomania. It can make ft 10-horse power engine do the work of 20-horse power for a while. But in the periods of de pression there ts great unhapplnesa and mfettfal illjiealth. Taker to I Yourself. Anxious 'Reader writes: "I had a slight attack of tuberculosis and spent sfx months at a sanitarium and for the next six months' I lived a clean normal llfo. My condition, ac cording to my physician, is fairly xood, and m appetite is the same. I have gaineff about 6 pounds in the lust month or so, but the trouble that I would like to have you explain the cause for a good deal of cough ing before going to bed and when getting up and occasionally during iia iv. At. times I a cough up a white mucus' which is a little thicker i,!n saliva, and at other times a faint thick green mucus. I have had my sputum tested and it was found to bo negative. I have no night sweats at present. I am being treat ed for laryngitis, Can you explain the cause of the' coughing and ex pectoration , "REPLY. ', "' -Your cough and sputum may be due to a laryngitis or a bronchitis which may be tubercular, or it may lo duo to. other bacilli. Take good rare of yourself. Do not overdo, You are not out of the wjoods yet. Colter Qjuscs Erratic Heart. .. Mrs. F. AC. writes: "What is an irritable heart? How could, H affect a person, and is it curab.le? Might it cause a slight pain in the region of tho heart and (high blood pressure? If a heart is normal should the pulse beat as high as 140 times in a min ute after - walking up a r flight of steps? Would ' a small goiter be likely to affect the heart?" . ' . J REBLY. , -An irritable heart is one which is easily made .to beat fast or slowly or Irregularly. There is something the matter when the pulse runs up to 140 on slight exertion. Goiter is perhaps the most frequent cauSo of irritable heart, . "". iV No. They're Not Injurious. Mrs. W. A. S. writes:" "Is it Inju rious to take physical exercises for two minutes each day during the menstrual period ? I feel extremely tired each day after these exercises'." i- ""REPLY. VI o. , - -:",,. ' .-- r His comrade said, "Pray dry your eyne, i And come on home with me, f For nldden in my cellar Is a jug of homemade skee,' " It haa a kick like Heston, y A-plunging for a down. I, too, was drunk aft Larry's, In old Ann Arbor town." They fetched the dusty demijohn, . And gurgled out the skee, And first he took a pony, , And then he tossed off three But still he walked erect and straight, His smile became a frown; For he'd been drunk at Larry's, In old Ann Arbor town. O. B. W. " - "THIS function over, Rev. T. C. Martinafter a witty address, absolutely unreportable, pre- MS.Stiffi8 f thC GrW-'Fitehbar It is more difficult to be witty and reportable. THB MORNING AFTER. "Whi,e somewhat given to alcoholic ex tllJi' ?ays, MosriiPhlcal sketch, "he was meat and flsh"" t? 80met,mea fusing both i011aM.nLtak,t' Lhat he -was very abstem ious in his habits when he was sober. E. C. W. .r,'.'.W?I,TE,,rran,lvantcd 10 Piflk and run Fbrd car. Tulsa World. - . xinnea muic, adventure II. L. and M B G protracted collaboration. - PHILOSOPHY. Men are babbling rivers; 'Love's a foolish game; ' Hearts are bita of tinder In a red flame. after Y 1 Side of the Sand Man. ' Valley, Neb., Jan. 21. To the Editor of The Bee: On January 17 there was held in Omaha a meeting of some 300Qmaha cltiaens, . con tractors, builders, architects ' and other organizations interested in ad- Vflnnlno tha liuilrilnc nrnvrnm ci much to be. desired by every one everywhere. The problem under discussion was, "That the Man "Who Foots the Bills May Know" what is retarding,the building program. Cer tain charts were presented showing the percentage of increase In laboo and building materials among which gave the increase in building-sand in Omaha at 200 per cent advance. As a producer of sand for this market; I aSTt space to telhe Man Who Foots the Bills," thevsand man's part in this. It requires 40 tons of sand in the reonstruction -of a five-room cottage. We get 40 cents per ton at our plant, making our charge on a five-room cottage, 16. Surely this item of $1B cannot be an impediment to build ing progress. This sand is washed aid screened ready for brick and plaster mortars, whereas, under the old condition of four or five years ago most sand was shipped without, being washed or screened, wh'ich re quired hand labor' to prepare it on the job. His salary at 60 cents n hour is J4.80 per day. Spldom could he screen eight tons in one day, which under the old system made a screen ing cost of 60 cents per ton for the "Man to Pay." Because of he great demand for sand gravel mixture, for concrete making, it is made possible to Omaha consumers to receive at our plant at 40 cents a ton this screened product ready for use that hand labor cannot prepare 'for less than 60 cents per ton. This cren ed product sells in the Des Moines, Kansas City and Chicago territories at 90 cents per ton at the plant. So Mr. Man Who Pays, you are fortu- Lnate in being located in this teri- iory wnere mere is an excess ui mis material at your disposal, and you must look elsewhere than to "us for the profiteer who is retarding your building program. Railway rates on this snd have advanced 66 2-3 per r You and I have gambled Recklessly a while; ' Since the nlavine'n , Leave hie with a smile. atif now my heart holds Ash where flames were rife? i I am freed of hearf" aches y . All the rest of life. ' - v DOROTHY DOW. THE ENRAPTURED REPORTER. -I?.ih?0Vn,te'Sa,mon Enterprise.) Waah.'J?!1. TUp" 5tood undw festoons of h.5Jilnft2n h0ly and 1n fron' ' circling hedge of flowering plants, whose delicate pink ATifXti!nt echv the keynot rr,au.RTURN1 n,a" ia Jatk50. Mich makes a frank confession: "Our prices reduced 23 per cent, our quality 100 per cent." , A, VOICE FROM BELOW. (From the Barbados Advocate.) y Owing to my landlord having sold the land over my head, I, Fits H. Estwlck have decided to dispose of my business carried on by me during the paat $0 yeara without reservation. I HAPPY THOUGHT. This world is so full of a number of singers, ' We need not be bluffed any longer by ringers. ' ' 'B- L T Close to The People. v ' In Vermont the state senate is compoVd of 30 members, one from each county, but the lower house is made up of one man from each town ship in the 'state. The supreme judges there receive a salary of $3,000 annually. Ohio State Journal, J. A Gold Brick.- If you aVe thinking of buying Kamchatka from Washington B. Vandcrlip. better consult an international conveyancer. There are rumors in circulation about a flaw in the title. From tlvc Boston Transcript. .. 1 One of Life't Little , Thrills. . It must be a proud moment in the life of tt traveling salesman when he registers at a Marion liotrt and is mistaken for a presidential adviser. Birmingham Age-Herald. v cent. They 'want 35 per cent more. As I have had an humble part in holding these sand prices at what I think a reasonable cost for produc tion, I respectfully submit this to your consideration on behalf of the sand man, and also that sometimes percentages are: very misleading as to the actual facts of costs of building. ' i ' . Very Truly Yours, " CONSUMERS SAND COMPANY. B. Trenmore Cone, Manager. Ho Wants "Better" Men. Omaha, Jan. 20. To the Editor of. The Bee: While never- in the world's history has all society- been so torn asunder, restive, and uncer tain, as today, one bright omen shows out over the tumult, namely.-" That never in the nation's history were the people so wrought up against the crooked, vacillating, bribe-taking, evasive politicians as today, But un like other great cities over tha land, is Omaha going to sit iflly by, as usual, and permit the city election, to.0 by default? It isi true that our city has not been scandalized by dishonest office holders, but it is also true that the mediocre and ' the inefficient have been saddled upon us for the last fifteen years, when it has been one rconstant turmoil of warring elements. so that the nest work for the city haa not been! accomplished. In the city are HteraHy dozens of men who would make ideal citx-commissioners, but such men never get down into the quagmire of politicso be elected to these offices. They would hav to i be drafted and their conscription j would have to be started at once. But now in this coming ejection, i why not in the name of kind provi dence enter some of these thorough breds against plugs and see in a free-for-all race how they will run, to the end that crime may be stopped in Omaha, that our ever increasing burden of taxes may be- halted in their ascent, and that for once the noises eminating from the city hall will relound from work being done, rather than from tempestuous quar relings, fightings and self-seekings? GEORGE B. CHILD. SaidToBeFwny. Want wtilie man to miite and run ForJ car: ona mile aouth of Ktftntb. on Lewis. Usvlln. A4 in rlisa worio. "Heavens -knows bow Sharp made hla 'ihAfa-nrohably whsv ha wiara that worried looK." New Hai Refleter. I . in Aeranornv to Phil Weln tlmr "Name three artlolea containing Tw'o cuffs anda collar." Tha Vpm ard Review. , Kalhor "Helen, Isn't It about tlnie you were entertaining the prospect of matrl- mi)1iuhter "Not quite, pa. ' Ha doesn't lall undl I o'clock." Tha Arldlfbt. Professor 'Now I put the number l'even on the board. What number imma Stately oomea' tuto your mind?'.' Class (in uulson) "Eleven!" Burr. "James, you may aerva the cake that 1 made for Mr. Phtlllpa birthday." "Sorry, madam, but my union forbids my serving a uon-uni(n product. Ltfe Mr. Bell, the Inventor of the telephone. Is In this country. At a meeting of sub scribers it was decided that no aflon should be taken, as It was not altogether hla fault. Tha Passing Bhow( London). There are atlll a Mi nf the tilu it la nnw sueaested that the match should be settled by cable, each ohamplon remaining In hla native city and tele graphing hla punchea The Passing Show (London). ' A farmer hitched hla team, to a tele phone pole. . 1 "Here." .exclaimed a policeman, "you can't hitch there!'! . "Can l nltcni anouica ine iraie irmr. "Well, why doea the sign say, 'Tina tor Hitching' ?" The Cuthollo News. "No. sir." cried the Irate parent, "my daughter can never be youra." "I don't want her to be my daughter," Interrupted the young man. "I want her to ba mv wife," Edinburgh Scotsman. ' "Tea, mum,"- sniveled the Panhandler, "there was a. time when I rode in my own C,r,My'6what a coma down!"' smypathlaed tha kind hearted woman. "And how long haa It been alnca you rode in your own carriage?" "Just 45 yaara, mum," replied the Pan handler, as he pocketed the proffered dime. "I was a baby then." The Catho lic News. "Aren't you afraid America will be tome Isolated?" ' "Not If ua farmers keep raisin' things the world needs." answered Farmer Corn tossel. "The feller that rings tha dinner, bell never run much risk of beln' lona come." Waahlngton Star. I'M THE GUY conflicting reports as Carpentler-uempsoy I'M THE GUY who picks a fight with his girl just before Christmas. So you finally got wise ' to me? S-re T broke with her so t would not have lo give her a present. vl've only known her a bhort time, anyway, ?p why should I give her some token. . , ' I need all my money for myself. I've worked for my dough, and I want to enjoy it all myself. Let sonic easy mark get her a present." Even if I had been going with her for a long time, making her mad is a good way to get out of sending her-a gift. But, of course, now that Christ mas and -New Years have past, I've made up with her again. She. never saw through my little game. She's not as clever as you. - If you don't like it I should worry. I dont ' tjiitik it's a petty trick. . 1 v As'long as she doesn't gt$ the drift I don't care. If she did, of course, I'd have to look for someone else. Hut that's another story.' So run along little one, and don't bother me with you opinion of me. - Copyright, 1921. Thompson feature Service. FORDS Perfectly Saf in tha y Snow If Th.y Have Worm Staering Gears SPRAGUE TIRE CO. Tyler 303$ 1 18th and Cuming a rv .-.:f .OQ ""i iru-n 'nnri.-inn.-irn '.rn n n nQQrQ',niruy tr'jtifc l-COOCUCU'3X'iy r w , tsnnsinst Ud tiiWiftTAWAil H The Greatest Comic Them All .yuciu njUQUi. UTlTTI II' TO it u int u ii ,i n ii .. .i w iiWiQgiXiiC'OC'OC'O1' ini"iflin"iru"iriruirii ii u ii iiVH"iiViOCAAVii!i ring Up, Father'' of inn (11 HUH II Ii II U H H 11 5 li ii H II . 3 : : jr. inm ii rn mi it ii it i .'COUL't ail a it Wixii!iCii5riiViQitiO I II II II II II 'I II II II II II II O H Q! H IQI IQ" II H II KCCO0CiwC'000i0qCO-'CCiCi,.iii0i0i--i iViiVHiVirMWfViTiiViiViiViiVir I'LL" " " " " " "The Gumps And) and Ain and Little Chester i ii ii fi if h h n ii n n ii i I OJUI H 1 H II rt H It I ll ll iHl IITll ll lQl II I I "JUUUOO'J'J HH !WVV!!!H.VS!V!: 00000000&5gwOOOQ2 n 'QQOOQODuCuOlOOU iJiJU'JUQLUUUCiUUQL1 iMuQQQirii iijiii ii ii , ii ii . n k o inni ini N ii i ini"iincini"i.ii-iniii"ii"saHi QUI. ii ii ii ii ii ii h ii it ii ii ii ii ii inni ii ii n Daily and Sunday in Omaha Bee llMHll II LCOJi ii jijiji iQ II Hltll H vyyy In h n i ii. KKrif'unir,!!!",.,!"!,!,! V V ... . i i - aatirf r f VWWi 'iiViiVii'iiWVii'iiViiViiX'y Vliiji II I II H ii II H ii ii I ii !0 at, .3 warn ,- -iQniiiii .iiii ii"3- More than half the a i men who wear this button are enrolled in the greatest school in the world the U. S. Army School More than a hundred thousand students in it about fifty per cent of the enlisted men t-all studying something. , Some are studying general courses: arithmetic, spelling, ge ography, English, U. S. History. Some are learningi a trade: auto-mechanics, masonry, print ing, plumbing. Some are learning tobe radio op erators: some bakers; some horse shoers; some truck-gardeners. Some school the U.S. Army School that teaches a hundred trades. And the soldier earns a good living while he is learning. Has a chance to rub elbows withfolks from other than his own home town. - And live in new eye-and-mind- openihg surroundings. THE ARMY TEACHES TRADES i V - K