THE BEtl: OMAHA, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER -S, 11)20.
Alleged Slayer of, Hamon
Ppurs Out Soul in Diary
Woman Tells of Heart and Beauty Sinking, With No
; i Strength Left to Stop the Silent Tide
- , ' 11 -n i tt
uraauaiiy j&ngumng ner.
By t'nlveraa! Service,
(rnlrrrwl Scrvlre hrrruith g-tvca the
third rhapter t Mm. Clam Smith Hain
' diary a rvvmlfd hy the hlrr
Herald and IiuOitr afcleh kuidm Iht
copyright.)
Copyright 103(1 br the Chicago Herald
and Km miner.
All rights trurvrd. KpufoSiU'tlaag pro-hll.ltrd.
Bee herewith continues its exclusive
presentation of the diary of Mrs.
Clara Smith Hamon, who is charged
with shooting Jake L. Hamon, "em
pire builder" of Oklahoma and one
of the wealthiest and most promi
nent politicians in the west.
In the chapter here reproduced
Mrs. Hamon reflects a bitter mental
attitude based upon her own "folly"
and devotes herself to gloomy intro
spection and sarcastic retrospection.
My Love
I have nought my love and found It,
Though 'Us not what It had seemed.
And the world la gray and lonely,
(June the sua that one time beamed.
I have hart my life and falioieil.
And the wwrlil will not condone;
I have ta.std wine so bitter,
And I'm sobered and aliini -
August iO. Aloilc all day. Two
call from Colonel in Fort Worth
and fussing. He came on 12 o'clock
train and went back on the morning
train. Good God!
August 31. A very hot day. Col
onel left on morning train for Fort
Worth. I slept until noon Spent
afternoon sewing and writing. Very
quiet day. Extremely lonely in
evening. Jo bed at 9:30. The
empty heart.
Sept. 1. The day blew iu with a
cold, chilly rain. Was awake at 5
and didn't get any more sleep. In
tended going to the country but too
much mud. Had two breakfasts
one at 8 and one at 10. The only
appetite I can satisfy.
Spent Day Reading.
Spent morning reading and writ
ing. A fine day to browse around
through old papers and books; to
live over days pone by and to dream
or hope for happy days in the future.
It's a bit of character building
soul development which we all
love. I love the company of my
own thoughts at times I love soli
tude in which I might look my own
self square in the face without the,
veneer we so often wear, even be
fore our own souls.
I like to face facts and get away
irotn illusions I like to look clearly
upon the stern realities of life and
realize what might have been.
That is what this day has been to
me. Though inclined to be sad it
is satisfying. I must be brave.
Colonel gorie to Chicago. I ' in
tended going but changed my mind.
Must save money. Jimmy coming
in for a big dance tonight, .i
(Editor! Note: Several 'steno
graphic notes follow this.) : " " '
September 3. Never in my life
have I been mor disgusted with
myself and with life and with the
f elfish author of my ttnhappiness.
To accept invitations is to submit
myseit to torture 1 cannot halt, tor
one moment. My consideration of
a life smashed utterly crushed by
circumstances over which I have at
this time not the slighest control.
Fate has been against me, the inev
itable "what must be" has over
taken trie. What a fool! What a
fool!
Conscience Hurts Her,
Heart, soul, beauty going or gone
and no strength to stop the tide or
make a struggle. To be crushed
without ruiise or violence. To be
smothered That is my clearly out
lined fate. I amount to nothing. I
myself ordained it through foolish
nd unmerited love. Lesson, lesson!
But what good are lessons? Who
heeds a lesson? I knew all that
! now know when I bought my
ticket t for fool land. How I've
lived throuoh another lesson whirh
will mean no more than others did
to me, . and puff I am gone.
It started so simply. The recital
of the day's events.' My interest,
my intelligence and ability to bridge
chasms, which his slower logic
halted at And then love and hell.
Jake Lewis Hamon, "empire builder"
and Clara Hamon, his court fool,
grimacing under the weight of a
broken life.
September 4. Heard a lecture
which 6cemed to be directed at me
:;lone. It is the first thing which I
have listened attentively to in
months, it seems, but every word
. eemed so fitting to me that I was
absorbed.
And so I learn that no one but
hermijs and saints need put store
upon subduing the flesh and that
they thus become useless. Strange
philosophy and calculated to cheer
rne up. Which it does not at all.
, s Doubts Lecturer's Words.
I am to believe that a man can
only lead men when he remains a
man with man's passion so that he
will not fight interests, beyond his
strength. I heard it all and I doubt it
lII. It seems that men have a million
defenders. They defend themselves,
no matter what their own action, all
wen automatically defend other men,
and women, either happy or com
fortable, defend their individual men
while there is a trace of reason in
so doing. And after the trace of
reason has vanished.
But women they look out for
themselves' when they know
enough to do it. And they're tire
some when their defense is too
strong and they're smashed when
their defense is weak.
It was almost too much of the
lecturer to admit that even these
men who must give vent to Qeir
passions should never sully the
wrong thing. It must have been an
after thought.
September 5. Another day which
means nothihV to me. I cannot
control my depression, I cannot reg
elate my actions at all, I am a liv
ing atom of misery and for what?
For nothing; and I know it. One
may see a star and long to draw
near it, though one knows it is al
ways .beyond reach, unattainable.
You may stumble forward to your
ruin, led by its light.
Suffering Own Fault. .
There is no logical way to reason
ing upon anything twhich is based
originally upon irrcsisuuic impulse
I made no etTord to belittle my risk.
I assumed it. The worst has re
sulted. So perhaps I am to blame.
1 did not follow the course which
intelligence directed, and now I suf
fer for it. 1 have intelligence, but
fcr. lovv I failed to employ it. I
determined, against all the advice
which one gets from reading of the
plights of others, that I would go on
and try to win happiness by a re
cipe which has always spelled fail
mt My case, I find, is no excep
tion. I sit writing this, the falling leaves
rustic ceaselessly. Their restless
movement is in keeping with the
mood I have; impatience, mingled
with other and fiercer emotions.
Why square my shoulders? The
faint heart again succumbs to the
strong heart.
. September 6. Caught Santa Fe
train at Fort Worth for Ardmore.
Took bad cold. Arrived in Ardmore
later.
Phoned Colonel to eat lunch with
me, but, as usual, he was too busy.
Always finds xcuses. Always he'
puts me off.
Colonel is Indifferent.
Has given me little attention, and
when with me is cold and indifferent.
He doesn't seem to be in his right
mind.
-He appears to be in a sort of
trance. He is so unnatural. Never
saw him juite like this. He seems
to have lost his balance, even in Jl
things.
November 13. Children came in
on train to see me. Did a little
'shopping for them. They are so
sweet and good and I love them
profoundly. It grieves me to think
of leaving them to go to California.
B;dy. Jack is my wonderful "dream
baby." . ' j
Oh, that I might have him as I
lona to. for niv verv own but fate
is. unkind me. If. when baby,
Jack is big enough to realize the
truth the turmoil-and strife of my
life has ended, and I can help to
make of h'm a fine man then I will
not have lived in vain. I will make
him that most wonderful thing a
man with kindness in his heart.
To bed early, lonely, sick and un
happy. Nov. 14. Got up with full inten
tion of going to church, but felt too
bad and nervous. Had brisk walk
to get fresh air. The Colonel neg
lected me dreadfully. He chased
. 1 - I l . .-... . A r.-. llf. V. ...
arounu Hii over iunu ivj auiiu i
self but seemed to forget I was j
alone ana loneiy, asiae irora ueiug
really sick. I am miserably un
happy. .
Spend most of my tune walking
the floor, hoping against hope that
he will soon come to give me a lit
tle of his time and perhaps a lit
tle comfort and cheer. Late in the
evening he comes to announce that
he is going to a big duck dinner
where he gets awfully drunk. He
is all that my Jack will not be.
Nov. IS. Has been a brisk win
ter day clear but cold. Got awake
real early. Had time to think;
could not stop Heart just hurt, I
am walked on, wonder at my pa
tience. All my disgust,- fear and
hate is kept within myself. I can
not sneak, lust eo on and on.
Where? How helpless how sick-x
ened 1 am. ihrougn tne wnoie
night I was wakefuL Colonel ilL
How well I know the truth of that
saying: "You can't get away with
it! Can't!"
(The concluding installment o!
Clara Hansen's diary will appear in
The Bee tomorrow.
Man Sues Brother-In-Law
To Secure Return of Loan'
Columbus, Neb., Dec. 7. (Spe
cial.) Two brothers-in-law are par
ties to an action started in district
court whea Siegfried Half began
suit agaih6t Siegfried A. Michael
son for $2,000. The- amount in
volved represents a loan which the
ni-ainti'f f minima tip mad tn the de
fendant in 1916. He states the agree
..... ,i , j
ment was mat it wouia De paia
about the time of the death of Her
man HaWp fathpr nf the nlaintiff.
and father-in-law of the defendant.
Mr. Hake alleges in his petition
that Herman Hake passed away Oc
tnher 4 1020 Vint that Mr. M ichael-
son has failed to pay the loan.
liberty Man Is Ordered
To State Insane Asylum
Beatrice, Neb:, Dec. 7. (Special)
James Roberts, 33, a resident of
Liberty, was adjudged insane yes
terday by the insanity commission-,
ers and ordered committed. It is
said that Roberts has been in the
habit of entering homes at 'Liberty
without making himself known and
without an invitation, frightening
members of the household. He has
a wife and four children.
Man Recovers From Burns
Received in Explosion
Beatrice, Neb., Dec. 7. (Special.) j
W. E. Gamble of Rockford, who
was seriously burned in an explosion j
which set fire to his barber shop
and living rooms at Rockford a few
weeks ago and destroyed them, has
recovered and left Fall's sanitarium
for hi home. Citizensof Rockford
raised a purse of $200 immediately
after the fire for Mr. Gable, who
is a cripple.
Cozad Christian Church
Gives Missionary Pageant
Cozad, Neb., Dec. 7. (Special.)
"The House of Nations," a mission
ary pageant, was given by the
Women's Missionary society of the
Shristian church here. One hundred
twenty-five people took part in the
pageant and over $100 was realized
in the offering. The money will be
sent to the foreign field.
Northwestern Road Lays
Off Employes in Nebraska
Norfolk, Neb.. Dec. 7. (Special
Telegram.) Northwestern officials
announced here today that 125 men
would be laid off in the shops locat
ed at Missouri Valley, Norfolk, Fre
mont and Chadron. This makes 10
per cent reduction in shop forces as
ordered over the entire system.
A patent has been granted for a
newspaper with the fold at the top
instead of the sides of the pages,
the inventor's idea being that it can
be read more easily by persons in
street cars.
AIIVERTISEMKNT
Victim of Mysterious
Shot Is Recovering
Bloomfield, Neb, Dec 7. (Spe
cial Telegram) William Hgge,
who waa mysteriously shot here
Sunday night while at the home of
Miss Pietzmier, was reported doing
nicely this morning and it is be
lieved he will recover. Twenty-two
s.hot from the charge of a shotgun
penetrated his skull.
The sheriff and a party of citizens
trailed an auto from the Pietzmier
home yesterday evening for about
25 miles but lost the trait. -The car
took a zig-zag course but was
traveling in the general direction of
Niobrara. Officials' only theory on
the reason for the deed is that it was
committed by some jealous suitor,
but as yet have not directed sus
picions toward any one.
South Dakota Politician
Given Two Years in Prison
Sioux Falls, S. D., Dec. 7.y
George W. Egan, prominent in bus
iness and political circles in South
To Cure a Cold in On Day
Tali Ornve'a LAXAT1VP! TiROMO QUI. 1
NINE tablet. The nenulne bears the '
signature oi u. w. Urove. 30c.
Dakota, was sentenced to serve two
years in the state penitentiary by
Judge Frank B. Smith in circuit
court. Egan was convicted last
May of having made fraudulent affi
davits in connection with insurance
policies covering a fire at F.l Frisco
Park. Attorneys for the defendant
aiinu iiuiiic u& allien iu wiv aittii:
supreme court.
Official Denies N. W. '
ill Absorb M. & 0.
Norfolk, Neb., Dec. 7. (Special
Telegram) General Superintendent
Dickinson of the Northwestern de
nied here authority for the report
that the Northwestern ould take
over the M. & O. lines next January.
Ho says tfce reports have been in
circulation for some time without
official sanction.
Bandits Get $1,000
Kansas City, Dec. 7. Three
masked motor car bandits Monday
held up C. E. Clark, collector?"
a gasoline company, in a street
crowded with traffic, robbed him of
$1,000 in cash and escaped.
rormeri bensoiihomq
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2
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-Style 200-
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Beaver brown kid
covered Louis heel
welt sole lace style
Also
Russian Tan calf
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Regularly $18
12 Price $9
Style 210-
All over black suede
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All over brown kid
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1
12 Price $7.50
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In all over brown
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Patent kid vamp
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1
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In all over brown kid
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soles
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In all over tan calf
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In all over black kid
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light weight sole
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Welt sole.
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leather Louig heel
light weight sole
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light weight sole
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lght weght sole
leather Louis heel
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In patent vamp
mat kid top military
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In all pver brown kid
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