1
TflE OMAHA-.-SUNDAY 'KttK: UECKAIBEU 5, 1920.
5C
i
Letters From Home-Made Father to Son
A Family Quarrelovitch in the
Brotherhoodsky of Man.
By ED STREETER.
Dear Son:
Now that the lections is over an
all the graft an crime has been shook
out an put away hi moth balls fer
another four years there aint much
to write of. Accordin to the papers
the world is at peace, ceptin fer some
restless golns on in Rflshia, a kind
of uneasiness in Ireland, an a dozen
or more low trow wars what only
gets into the papers when the ad
yertiirfii drops off. The Deacon calls
it a peace which passes all under
stands an I guess he's about right.
1 just been readin a book on
Rushia. From'what that .feflo says
1 guess we'll have a change to see
Mr Lemon an Mr. Trotski in vaw
deville before the winter's out. lit
looks' like the brotherhood erf man
ashaviu kind of a family dispute.
As near as 1 could make 6"ut from
the book there's only about half a
dozen brothers m ;the family an the
rest is all second cdusins an distant
relatives. . t . ....
An it's a , dcprcssiij , picture he
draws of the home life ot the uisiaut
relative. He spends his days in the
crowded government offices makin
up sketches fer the improvement of
(the city-
ttere.vsays lie, "is what looks on
the map like a block of office bildins,
your front door while I was goin by.
iou don t mind, do vour
"Not at all," says he. "Were not
going 'to live in this house much
longer. My wife has burnt up so
much of the front stairs in the kitch
en stove Ihat it's gettin kind of riki
fer the children. Next week I think
we'll go over an live in the Browu-
ski s house. ,
Ihe lirownskis has some nice
things," says the grand sdperviser.
"Only the other day I took their
planner an gave it to the wife of
the local superviser fer a birthday
present.
"An very generus it vfas of you.
Won't you sit down an have some
bran mash?
"No thank?. I'll be takin this
door an runnin along. We're very
busy down at the office now nlanpm
a lot of new civic centers. It's aw
ful hard to get any labor on ac
count of the terribul shortage of
Uoolcs, but were jroin to be all
rfady to start when things get back
to norma.!. , '--.-.
"Aint: these Dooks awftil, the way
they , act? says- Jeneski. Youd
think they owned the place." ,
Jimmyovitch ' Gefs a Raise.
But the Grand Sup.'has took off
the door ail is on his way back to
the office of Mr. Lemon an Mr.
Trotski, that was formerly the home
of one of the late Bzatc. Both the
great men is there lyin on rich horse
....
I ' J ' . ; ' t-
k " ""' VI Appoint You Master of the National Woodchoppers."
VI Appoint You Master of the National Woodchoppers.'
These must be tore down as sooris
we can get around to it an in their
place we'Jl build a nice park with a
vodka fountin in the . center sur
rounded by bjKiful movin picture
houses, roller skatin rinkskis an tea"
drinkin parlers." ,
, Its slow an discouragin work tho,
cause as fast as he draws up a new
plan he has to put it in the stove
so's to keep the room warm enough
to go on workin. The only comfort
"" he has is that 1 there's nobody to
build the things anyways cause
, everybodys in the government offices
drawin plans.
Woman Disturbs the Brotherhood.
. An when he gets home at night his
swife is waitin -fer him in the front
Jtall. .
... 'TtV a pity," says she, "you
wouldn't leave a body some money
io buy somethin fer dinner. I'd have
Jlsent littUj Nickleovitch down to the
.office fer it only he's too young to
carry heavy loads an I had to slay
wjth little Dimeovitch cause he has
the Rushian nwesels." '' '
AVhereupon he goes down an un
' locks the coal bin, where he keeps
all his loose change.
"Here," says he, "is -two baskets
r of dneisters an a bag ,of bokaras
Which is every cent I can spare. An
if that robber Hallahan charges you
more than five millyun dneisters a
pound fer chuck steak tell hjm you're
- going somewheres else."
T "Alexy," says she. "I hate to see
you gettin close with your monej"."'
Tust as, the family is sittinBown
I to the cheery evenin meal oi hotj
sawdust puddin an mule meat the
kfront door opens an who comes in
..but the Grand Superviser of the
Board of Aldermen's Stove.
"Evenin, Brother Joneski," says
he, "An Mrs. Joneski an little
- Nickledvitch an Dimeovitch. I was
I jus passin by -an remembered we
'-wasi gettin low on firewood down at
the office so I thought I'd just take
Pigs Joyously Eat
lUp Hooch Mask and
Get Dizzy on It
hair sofas an smokin expensive see-
Very good, Jimmyovitch, says
Mr. Trotski raisin , hisself on one
elbow. "I appoint you master of
the National Woodchoppers at forty
five thousaud dneistcr a month.
Your first "duty is to chop that door
into suitable lengths fer the stoveski.
An take it out in .the hallski to do
ir:"
"You owe me four millyun dneis
ters now," says the Grand Sup.,
which makes Mr. Trotski very mad.
"Damavitch," he Says. ''I can't
cive it to vou faster than I can prinl
it, can I?" i
"What else did,Mr. Joneski have?"
asks Mr. Lemon, who hates argy-
ments,
"He had a nice victrala." -"Now
your shoutingovitch," says
Lemon. "I appoint yu president of
Boston. Nov. 26. Ten minutes
after prohibition agents discovered
200 gallons of mash yesterday on
the Saugus estate of Alfred R. Swain
they dumped the mash in a pile of
refuse. ...v "
And 15 minutes ater,theyOffice,rs'
of the law discovered that Swain
is in the pig business and owns at
least 200 pigs. ' The discovery came
too- late.
The "revenooers" ran out pf
doors and , headed for the discarded
mash. -They couldn't get within
25 feet of it. The pigs were dig
ging into the "old stuff with the
rest of panhandlers with iree tickets
to a clambake. .
Swain, who collects garbage in
Melrose and whose Saugus place is
on the highest eminence in that
town, was brought to Boston to be
arraigned before United States Com
missioner Hayes on the charge of
having in his possession materials
and machinery designed for the un
lawful, manufacture of ' intoxicants.
The agents claim to. have seized
three quarts of "moonshine." '.
"When we came away," Prohibi
tion Agent Rogers said., "Three of
four oj the pigs appeared to be
under the influenc-" .
As Fast as He Draws up a New Plan
He Has to Put It in the Stove.
the Movin Men's association. To
morrow morning you can run down
to. Joneski's an bring it up, here on
your back."
- "An you rniuht look around while
ft'ou're there," 'says Trotski, "an see
I :r r .1 - t !.:- .
u iJiuiiicr juiicaiMS uvcuudi 19 aiij
better than mine.' If it is tell him
I'll swanl him.- Of "course I got a
right to fit jusfas much as he has.
but I 'believe in treatin people
square. Take all they got but treat
em square. Ehwatovitch!"
"I understand." says Lemon, "that
old Professor Goloshesoff has ben
talkin agin the government." 1
"What did he say?"
, "He says you was a punkin head.'
"Throw him in gaol," cries Trotski
very angry. "We have cave the
people of this glorious country the
right of free speech an" I ain't goin
to have the nrirelege abused. Did
the papers rrint it?"
"Just the 'Daily Samover."
"Destroy it."
'I had it blowcd up tliis niornin."
"Good. This glorius brotherhood
aint goin to he broke, up just be
cause a few millyun dumheads don't
want it. 1
"Not on your lifeski."
All of which is very depressin,
but as t says to Poohc when 1 was
tellin iV'ii about the book the other
night, what dcTyou expect of a rare
that does their national dance sittin
down.
I don't know much views that
would interest you. Your cusin Lori
mer Pebble of Ivydalc cut two fine
wisdom teeth last week which, as
your muther says, is the irony of
fate. Your muther is out in the
woodshed doing her Christmas
choppin eaxly. I hear Jier. comin
in so perhaps I better quit an go
down fer the mail. .1 take great
pleasure in closin.
"Yours intrinsically.
AMOS II. AMESBY,
Fath.
CppjTlght, 19:o, by Ed Streeter.
Deinos Spoil Celebration.
Sisterville, W. Va., Dec. 4. Local
republicans arranged to celebrate the
nationwide republican landslide.
A mule was to, have occupied a
canspicuous position in the program.
But just prior to the jollification
sotrie democrats, it is claimed, stole
the animal. '
Now that the jokers have been
identified, the owner of the mule
threatens to sue them for damages.
ADVERTISEMENT.
DIAMOND DYES
Any Woman can Dye now.
Each package of "Diamond Dyes"
contains directions so simple that
any woman can diamond-dye - any
old, faded garments, draperies, cov
erings, everything, whether wool,
silk, linen, cotton or mixed goods, a
new, rich, fadeless color.
Buy Diamond Dyes no other
kind then perfect results are guar
anteed even if you have never dyed
before. Druggistwll show you -Diamond
Dyes Color Card.
ADVERTISEMENT
RUPTURE EXPERT HERE
Scclcy, Famous In This Specialty
Called o Omaha.
F. H. Seeley of qhicagro and Phil
adelphia, the noted truss expert,, will
personally be at the Paxton Hotel
and will remain In Omaha Saturday
and Sunday only, Den. 4 and 5. Mr.
fieeley says: "The Spermatic Shield
will not rnly retain any case of rup
ture parfectly, but contracts the
opening in 10 days on the average
case. Being a vast advancement
over ell former methods exempli
fying instantaneous effects immedi
ately appreciable "Snd withstanding
any strain or position. This instru
ment received the only award in
England and in Spain producing re
sults without surgery. Injections,
medical treatment or prescriptions.
Mr. Seeley has documents from the
United States Government Wash
ington, 1. C, for Inspection.. AH
charity cases without charge, or if
any Interested call, he will be glad
to show same without charge, or fit
them if desired. Business demands
prevent stopping at any other place
in this section.
P. .S. -Every statement in this no
tice has been verified before the fed
eral and StanrConrts. F. H. Scclcy.
n
What for? Watch this paper.
Oa December 12th we will
tell you what FOUR. Maybe
yon caa guess. - v
iiliiHiiiiiii'il!'!:iMintiiliiii!itii!'!tii!iiii:ini!ii!i:iiinniiiiiiiiiiiliilNl;iliiti:liiliiliilnliiiiiiiii iininiiiin
Depr Madam: '
I am offering a 25 per cent saving on all tailored gar
ments. I have just returned from the east where I
attended all the style shows and am prepared to give
you everything new in styles and" material, whether it
ly is a suit, coat, wrap or dress. . :
If you are not in need of a tailored garment now, re
member that I am prepared for a reduction on tailored
apparel hthe spring. j
I guarantee fit and the latest sf ' J i
L-KOJE' -'lTl '
506-508 South 16th St.
iii
i
h
Phone Douglas 6063.
li.l:Jillllll.lllllti:llllilllilMi.liililli!l::l::ll:ll.i., lifi'i I. (: .i.i:;:;.i:u:ii:i:jiii.iiiiilnliit, mill
V
One Cinder Costs
v Railroad Just $1,500
Boston, Dec. 4. The supreme
judicial court is called upon, to de
cide, an interesting -question in the
suit of Solemon Shine a shoe sales
man, against the New York, New
Haven & Hartford r?i!road for in
juries receh-ed when a cinder entered
his eye. Shine, who is 72 years old,
boarded a train at Tamiton, Septem
ber 10, 1917, and sat at an open win
dow, lie claims he suffered an in
jury frm a piece of cinder from
the locomotive. The case was re
ported to a full bench by Judge Ray
mond. If the court linds for him,
Shiue will receive $1,500 damages.
Bee want ads are business getters.
Hottlc Buried More Than
20 Xears Found in Georgia
Moultrie. Ga., Dec. 7. Moultrie
heard an echo out of the long-gone
past Thurrday afternoon, w hen 'car
penters renovating abuilding in the
business district unearthed a bottle
bearing a label marked "Budweiscr"
in iaded letters and filled with a
brownish liquid.' t "
The carpenter who found i
showed it around as long as he
could stand it, then drank the bever
age, declaring with a mighty smack"
of I'is lins that it wasure good.
The plastering that hid the bottle
in .he wall, was put on 20 years ago,
it is said. At that time Budwciser
as better known here as there w - '
U,.-aloons in Moultrie.
Many Idle Husbands Here. I
Laramie, Wyo Dec. 4. Whit I
JLHII 11 IHV4 V V' "in v-tiv.
Mela Young and George Idle u
recently married here, making i
third match between tne hue m
Young families, three Idle brotlir
marrying three Young sistc
stcrs.
falling,
-rof-r
PRICES
at-
Shop
Early
BOWEN'S
4
over
the entire -
month
Enabling you to purchase those most desired articles of House Furnishings you have so long wanted, bu t
put off selecting owmg to unsettled business conditions.
HERE-RIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS,
at a most opportune time, come price reductions froAi the H. R. Bowen Co., that will awaken interest in
buying and, at the same time, save dollars to till purchasing; as usual you make your own terms.
A "Falling Barometer Price"
: 1 of Only 298 , ,
r ; lias been placed upon this handsome William and Mary period
9-Piece Dining Set in Genuine Mahogany
Formerly selling at $425.00. ! - - ,
This suite will
tiful in desiga and
long to while away
do much to brighten the home this Yuletide season. Beau
finish it cannot help but add greater comfort to those who
their hours of leisure at their own fireside. . .
Old Ivory or Walnut Finished
BED
a
, .. IFF
Bed-Chiffonier Vanity Dresser
Bed'
Chiffonier
Vanity Dresser
Former
l?rioe
$75.00
$67.50
$135.00
' Barometer
Price
$42.50
$39.75
$86.5C
Values of this character will readily appeal to all, so great are the savings
offered. ' x
flPW
Brown Mahogany
Smoker Sfands
In various designs .and sizes
some equipped with copper
lined humidors; others with
cellarette compartments-
priced 1
from
On up to 15.00.
$7.25
Poster
Twin
Beds--
In solid mahogany,
formerly priced at
$75.00. . Barometer
price
only
$37.50
Fumed and
, Golden Oak
Library
Tables
Tables made of genuine quarter-sawed
1 1 I 1. . .nl.nlnl
OaK. TOP onown. m ucarj uuiuiuai
design. SpeciaL barometer d1 T CA
price only P Ov
Z9
Cedar
Chests
y-
Jlade of gjcnuine Tennessee red cp
dar. 42 iriciics. long. Heavy copper
banded
$2650
Odd Walnut
Chest of Drawers
"Something needed in
; i.i,i,i riM,:-,
every injuseuuiu. xi'io
chest has four large and
deep drawers 'and two
small; it is a well made
and finished case for
' mer price $67.50. Ba
rometer price only
$37.50
mm
( i
V
Santa has delivered thousands of girts
to BOWEN'S TOY SHOP. You will find
thousands of gifts here for the children.
m
Golden Fumed and
Waxed Oak Buffets
'This., buff et is made f-si
o f selected quarter
sawed oak, has heavy
plank top, and will
make a beautiful addi
tion tojany dining room.
Former price, $75.00.
Barometer price only
$35.00
DRAPERIES CURTAINS ,RyGS SCARFS
exquisitely made In many different designs and pleasing
reductiona. You will find It no longer necessary to delve
deep into your pocket to purchase everything desired at
this big house of values. Compare these values where
you will they are undeniably the best offerings in the
city. A pleasing Christmas gift can-easily 4e made in our
drapery department.
IMPORTED CRETONNES
No reductions have been made by importers or foreign
manufacturers of imported cretonnes or' hand blocked
linens., Our "Falling Barometer of Prices" point downward
during December on these imported cretonnes, and now
they are offered atsa reduction of to Vz less than for
merly. Prices Please note the following prices: '
Former values $5.00, $4.50, $3.00, $2.50 and $1.75 per
yard.
December prices $3.45, $3.35, $2.25, $1.85 and $1.15
.per yard. - . . .
BED SPREADS
Heavy White Crochet Bsdspreads in beautiful patterns
with plain edges or with scalloped and cut corners. Excep
tional values.
Size 78x30. With scalloped edge and , &n AC
cut corneraeach k . ipOt'lO
Size 78x90. With plain hem and square 'CC OC
corners, each, at.....;...! vJ0
Size 78x90. Good quality plain hem, &a nr
splendid patterns, each P'0
Size 72x84. Heavy spread, plain hem, square QJ
corners, each, at v.. . V'JwO
CUBfTAliT AND DRAPERY
SPECIALS
Fancy Colored Marquisette, 36 Inches wide. Pretty
border in a large ranye of colors. Bowen'8 Q j
Special Value at, per yard OJI C
REMNANTS
Short length and some large pieces, slightly soiled
on edges, of curtain, net scrims and voiles, your
cholce-any pattern or quality at Bowen's AQf
Special Valuer at per yard HC
TOWELS
GRASS RUGS
iy
25 cases of Huck and Bath Towels at a saving of near
50 per cent; in all sizes and patterns. -
HUCK TOWELS
Size 17x36 Heavy quality, 35$ each,
Size 16x32 Heavy quality, 24 each;
Size 14x25 Heaxy quality, lg each;
BATH TOWELS
Size 22x44 Heavy, Turkish Towels, each.
Size 19x38 Heavy Turkish Towels, eacli.
Size 16x31 Heavy Turkish Towels, each.
51.00
1.50
51.00
39
256
too numerous to men-
a
9.50
5.00
5.50
. t
Many other sizescand qualities
tiOn at special reduced prices.
WILTON VELVETvRUGS
Heavy Wilton Arelvet Rugs in seamless quality, 6plen
did natterns. ' t
Sizo 90x120 Former value, $95.00; now priced.
Size 8-3x10-6 Former value $90.00;', now priced.
Size 27x54-in Former value, $ 9i0; now priced.
VELVET RUGS
Good Grade Seamless Velvet Rug.
Size 9x12 Former value, $75.00; now priced... $42.50
Size 27x54-in Former value, $ 7.00; now priced... $ 3.95
STAIR AND ROdM CARPETS
Splendid patterns in room and stair carpets, with or
without borders, and many colors and qualities of plain
carpets, 27 inches wide; range of prices, $5.25, $4.00,
$3.25, $2.75 and $1.75. .
23.50
19.00
21.00
16.50
9.75
colorings
$18.50
$15.00
$16.75
$ 9.75
$ 7.50
and very
Tire art supreme, a close woven grass rug, stenciled in
rich colors and beautiful designs..
Size 9x12 Former value, $35.00; now priced, r.
Size 6x12 Former value. $28.50; now priced...
Size 8x12 Former value, $31.50; now priced...
Size- fix 9 Former value, $22.00; now priced,:..
Size 4-6x7-6 Former value, $15.00; now, priced...
. Tne Willow Grass Rugs in patterns and
suitable for any room.
Size 9x12 Former value, $27.50; now priced.
Size 6x12 Former value, $21.00; now priced.
Size 9xl29-Former value, $23.50; now priced.
Size 6x 9 Former value, $15.50; now priced.
Size 4-6x7-6 Former value, $11.00 now priced.
The Crex Grass Rug, a superior quality
serviceable, and rich in color and designs.
Size, 9x12 Former value, $33.00; now prlcedv$24.00
- Size 8xl0 Former Value, $28.50; now priced... $2l!S0
Size 6x 9 Former value. $22.50; now priced,. .$16!50
Size 4-6x7-6 Former value, $16.00; dow priced... $-1025
Size 3x 6 Former Value. $ 8.50; now priced... $ 575
GENUINE FRENCH WILTON
"The best standard, makes of Worshert Wilton Rugs.
Fringed ends, latest patterns.
Size 9x12 Fermer value, $195.00; now priced.. $145.00
Size 8x10-6 Former value, $185.00; now priced.. $13950
Size 6x 9 Former value, $142.50; now priced.. 9750
Size 4-6x7-6 Former value, $ 80.00; now priced.. $ 5500
Size 36x36 Former value, $ S2.50; now priced.. $ 2475
Size 27x54 Former value, $ 21.50; now prlcol.'.$ 18i75
GENUINE WOOL WILTON
1 Iml -
OnAAAS VALUe WWfl STORO
Wilton
'Several Standard makes of best Wool
Rugs. Splendid patterns. -
Size 9x12 Fornfer value, $163.0C; now $117.50
Sire 8 3xl0-fi Former value, $152,00; now $102.00
Size 6x9 Former value, $105.00; now' $ 69.55
Size 4-6x7-6 Former value, $ 60.00; now $ 39.50
Size S6x63-in Former value, $ 26.50; now $ 19.35
6Jze 27x54 in Former value, $ 16.50; now $ 12,50
! v.
