TMnnnv ft MiT A TOT A
UNDAY
AMUSEMENTS ,
EDITORIAL
. ; VOL. L NO. 22.
OMAHA, SUNDAY MORNING, ; NOVEMBER 14, 1920.
1 D
TEN CENTS
v y :
H?EA SPORT ENDED
1S
A PROSPEROUS
BUSlNE'crS
ONCE BUT THE
SURVIVAL OF
THE FITTEST"
WAS A FATAL
SlOW TO IT
. A lot of things that passed for
100 per cent perfection back in
those uncouth days before woman
suffrage and the 18th amendment -couldn't
nose under the wire
nowadays in a speed clash with
crippled snails.
The period from 1900 to 1920
can't be measured merely as a 20
year lapse.
- Omaha "sKcok a leg" during
that span with enough vigor and
jvim to keep time with the break
neck rythm of the latest jazz
' melody. The "new stuff of one
'12-month became "out of bounds"
in the next and in the third year
v-as regarded as "eccentric
A fashionable feminine "get up
that in 1917 could shock the na-
tives down around Sixteenth and
Farnam into stares and startled ,
comments of "some chicken" and
such would receive today what is
-.own in technical parlance as
the equine ha ha.
A shining new auto that was its
owner's pet and pride and his
neighbors' envy back in 1900 today
could win without a struggle the
hand-embroidered last year's
birds nest.
Don't See.'Em Anymore.
Speaking of horselaughs,, they,
too, are fast slipping into the
limbo of what was and is not
There are few horses left to laugh
and most of 'cm seen on Omaha
, streets now appear too burdened
v.ith years to do more than cackle.
( It wasn't so many years back
that Omaha's downtown district,
was cluttered with scattered hitch
ing racks and livery stables for ac
commodation of its native and vis
iting horses.
In those days it was hardly pos
sible for a horse to cast a shoe
without being in neighing distance
of a blacksmith shop. Now the
poor beast has to sneak up alleys ,
and back streets in order to find
footwear. t'
The smithy of other days is rap
idly becoming as extinct in Omaha
sas the spreading chestnut tree un
der which Mr. Longfellow stood
him once upon a time. The poem
isn't quite definite on the subject,
but it seems the chestnut leaves
- formed a foliage roof for the
' "smithy's forge, indicating they had
their housing problem even in
Longfellow's time.
The blacksmiths of later years
, ' bare been more prosperous. At
BY THE STREET CLEANING DEPARTMENT
least they were able to provide
roofs over their heads.But they're
disappearing as fait as the much
mentioned snowballs under ex
treme heat.
No More Blacksmiths.
Recently they held( a convention
over in Iowa and discovered there
aren't any blacksmith apprentices
any more, demonstrating the opin
ion of youth is that the business is
slumping into the innocuous desue
tude of a "back number." finus
the horseshoeing trade, the smithy
is metamorphosing into a machine
shop and the old-time blacksmith'
is becoming a mechanic.
But the horse had his day. It
was a gay life while it lasted.
All dolled up in shining, silver
mounted harness, he used to ap
pear on Omaha streets drawing,the
highly-polished . equipages which
in those uncivilized days were con
sidered "very much so."
Usually on tffhse occasions he
appeared "en team," sometimes "en
YOU CANT EVEN
TRUST
CROOK.
By Ed Streetef.'
Dear Sun: v
The town: is all upset over the
robbery of Squire Freeman's house.
Ira sending you a cuttrn from the
Weakly Trumpet givin an account
of the affair. They left out two
colyums of ' personals to' print it
which was half a colyum more than
they ever gave the war. That shows
how worked op they are.
The whole thing come about
Milford with Mrs. Freeman an
Pooch Frisbee's wife to take in he
annual meet of the W. C T. U.
The night they left I aked the
Squire an Pooch over fer a friendly
game of cards. Long about one
o'clock the Squire says he had a
suspishun where there was a num
ber of 275 plus what ought to be
seized in the name of the law if
anybody had the gumshun to go an
seize em. Bein ahead I offered to
go. So Squire discribes the place
which warent no more than his
own ice box. I got an old gunny
sack from the seller an started fer
his house.
The Squire had forgot to give
me his door key but instead of goflr
back fer it I let myself through one
of 4he front windows an turned on
the light. After I got through bein
blinded I seen a fellow standin
across the room pointin a gosh darn
pistel right at me.
"Look here," say I, not stoppin
to find out who he was. "Aint jwu
got no more sense than to pomt
those things. That's the way the
accidents happen."
" Well, sir, he looked at me a minit,
then, he lowered the contrapshun an
started laughin.
it
tandem." Perched on a' seat jv
off the end of his tail (the horse' i
was a uniformed, top-hatted driv
who "guided the conveyance aboi
for the benefit of the topmost oi (
the elite. The 'turnout" some
times was further augmented by an t
atiffnct and imnrpQQiv uniformed I
o v --1 -
footman in rear.
Somewhat later there came the
more middle class surrey and the j,
racy rubber-tired, wire-wheeled
buggy. The carriage and surreys '
now and then were proudly em- .
blazoned, with the family coat of ;
arms, either inherited or "adopted."
And the Girls Watched.
The buggies, though, were the
snappy, "chummy roadsters" of
the highways. They came in as
sorted colors, with more or less
fancy upholstering and a choice
of wooden orwire wheels.
Those were the days when vil- t
lage correspondents sent in to
county seat newspapers items like
these:
Letters Prom. Home-Made- Father
"If that don't beat all," says he.
"I thought you was, the old moss
back what-ewned this place. ' Now
aint that luck that we should go
an pick out the same place on the
same inght Blowedif it aint dis
couragin," he says. "Thats what
comes of havin no sistim in this
business."
He had a bag over his shoulder
just like me. He set it on the dinia
room table.
1'Well," says he, thoughtful like,
"the owner of this place is out shoot
in penny ante with some other old
ikin eaters. I don't spese he'll
be back til he's morgaged the old
farm. So now your here I guess we
might's well act social an split things
up." "I'm .a bit of a socialist," says
he. like we was havin a chat in some
body's office. "I believe in dividin
things un fair like."
Fity-fifty.
So saying, he began making two
piles out of the Squires hest eatin
utinsils. I seen how the wind
blowed an figgered I'd be dots a big
ger favor fer the Squire by savin half
his stuff an a whole skin than by
r jir-in a fuss an losin both So we
split everythin there was worth tak
in which didn't mount up to a stag
gerin load tween you an me. The
young fcllow insisted on my gettin
rry share of everything.
"I aint'never cheated nobody yet
an I aint goin to begin now," says
he, breakin an old fork of theoquires
in two. '
Havin finishea the down stairs he
sjiys he always has a bit of vittels
about this tiirc an hopes I'll join
him. We found the beer an some
cold meat. m
He was an ambishus cuss. Claimed
the troubel with the world- was-that
people didn't care what kind of a job
'Vorld Do Move'Thei
Say and These Last Fev
Yea rs Have Beeri-feord
Breakers. Stile$ in Everi
lh1ndChan.de asRcipidliA
as wbmetfs Uats . J-
(TV
TWS WAS
QUITE THE
'THING A '
FEW SHORT
YEARS AGO
Wt
HE TINKER!
lurm AnrartOPTrVGk
nun wnuviNuiw
AND MAGNETOS NOW
"Ed .Perkins has become the
proud owner of a new red box bug
gy. v Look out, girls 1"
"Wallie Wimpler was seen sport
ing his new rubber-tired road out
fit in the Lewis Creek neighbor
hood fast Sunday eve.! Don't be
surprised at news of an engage
ment from this neck of the woods
they iturned out. His idear was al-
ways to do the best he could an not
to shy at hard work.
"Theres lots of first class crooks,"
NAn locked him
Ft
r
V4
ill
soon.
I There were those, it is true, who
touted the superiority of the-phae-ton,
declaiming it as nore com
fortable and dignified." When
they began o talk like that,
though, the wise ones figured the
courtship had progressed a long
way. It was undisputed that the
he says, "that gets lazy after they've
made a little money. I aint got no
use fer a fellow, though, that lies
in bed after midnight.
in' quick a icaL"
1
kf'Vil lA'rtiWnr
TUE
TIlRtUER,
OF BOYHOOD
DAYS 16 JUST
PART OF THE
SCRAP
HEAP
NOW
saw
TTCAME AND TWA5 SEEN. AND IT CONQUERED BUTJT HAS.
A tt -CYLINDER. BROTHER NOW -
bu&gy Jhad "the class."
But it couldn't compete as an
aid to romance with the more" ef
fete and "up-to-snuff" motor caf,
not even with those one-lung and
two-lung, curred-dash affairs
which appeared first as the par
excellence and top-notch t perfec
tion of the auto builder.
"The Thirst for Speed."
The owners of those pioneer
autos ' had their troubles, to be
sure, but the chug-chug cars cap-
tured road honors from the h-and-b
with hardly a struggle! They de
veloped sneezes, coughs and inter
nal complaints unknown to the
modern jnotor, but they bowled
along with bursts of speed that
were joyously exhilarating to a
horse-and-buggy populace. Run
ning out of gasoline along a coun-
- try road in those days meant
"hooking" a ride back to town
but minor discomforts were for
gotten in what some people de
cried as the "thirst for speed at
IS miles an hour.
So, he who would a-wooing go
fa the face of competition that was
eeu began to think in terms of
cylinders instead of pedigrees and
to " His Sdn
After we got through eatin he sug
gested we take a look upstairs. He
opened the Squire's desk with a
Lunch of keys an told me to go
through that while he leoked over
.the old fool's clithes.
When we'd got through, all we
could find worth takin was a few
old suits of clothes, some brick-a-brack,
an old clock that wouldn't
run, and a $1.90. We flipped up to
see who'd take the money and who'd
take the rest of the stuff. I won the
money, thereby savin the squire
a good bit
- The less we found the madder the
young fellow got He says it was
just like Ihese rich folks to take an
advantage of a poor man. Then he
allows we'd rua the rest of the house
quick an call it a night an the
squire could blow an bust fore he'd
come her(e again.
.' JOutside the squire's bedroom was
along hall with two doors in the
middle, one on each fide. Right there
ah 'idear began churnin round in
mv mind.
"You go in there." says I, "an 111
go in here. An we'll take a sportin
chance on which draw the best."
That seemed to please him right
well. He says it was a pleasure to
work with a fellow that was a gen
tleman an not Alw ays tryin to grab
everything he could lay his hands
on.
Telephone No Use.
"I felt kinda cheap when he talked
'like that. I opened my door an he
opened hisen. An as he started to
go in I gave him a push an locked
him in quick as scat. '
I didn't stop to use the telephone.
Sarah Marcy is night operator now
an they say she sleeps so loud she
can't hear the bell ring. I tkun out
T V
1 1
1KB
i
XV'
V
ye
4
"hands high." The .horse became
passe, outre andya "dead one" in
romance.
In the wake tt horseless court
ship there followed a lot of other
horseless things, until now Omaha
and Douglas county have, almost
horseless streets and roads. That
situation has brought its "prob
lems," too. I ,
The sons of he citizens whose
slogan was "more hitching racks"
in the old days, plead indignantly
for morCparkini; space on down
town streets. The crowded livery
stables of a few "years back have
been supplanted "by the overflow
ing garages of 1920, the filling
station has -taken the place ofthe
old watering trough, and the tire
shop is as. humming with industry
as the old-time blacksmith's forge.
Take Place of Sleigha.
These are by means all of the
changes wrought in Omaha by the
20 years' fugit of tempus.
F'rinstance, the automobile
seems to have obliterated not only
the phaeton, buggy, surrey and
carriage, but also the sleighs that
used to jangle so blithely o'er the
wintry snow. Maybe it doesn't
the parlor window an started home.
Then thought, "There may be a
window in that room," thinks I. An
back I went to look, but there w asn't
one nowheres near it. After that I
raced home like all the devils in
Paducah Center was ridin on my
heels.
When the boys found I wasn't
jokin they all come arunnin. Pooch
stoppin at his house fer his shot gun.
When we got to the Squire's house
everything was as quiet as a room
where they're readin a will.
I led em upstairs n pointed to
the door where I had the fellow
locked up. The Squire looked at me
like I'd gone crazy. "What in the
name of this, that an tother," says
he, "did you lock him in there for."
"HushUp," says I, "Do you want
a bullet through you?,"
.Then the Squire unlocks the door
as bold as all outdoors. An while
we was duckin he walked right
through it an down the back stairs.
I'll stop here to explain that the
fellow had escaped by walkin down
the back stairs an but the kitchen
window. An I'll add that on the
way out he had the nerve' to stop an
get my share of the Squire's val
uabels what I'd left in the front
hall. s
Which goes to show that there
aint no tellin what these fellows will
be up to.
Your mother was very interested
till she got wonderin what I was do
in in the Squire's house. There aint
been no dealin with her since.
But it's astonishin how smart these
fellows is. You can't trust nobody,
yours cinkaly
Amos H. Amesby
Fath.
(Copyrlwht, me, by th Bll
BradlcaU. InaJ
FINESBE?ilR
"in
snow as much as ft used to. Mayo
the white stuff doesn't stick at
long to asphalt and brick as
frozen dirt roads.
Anyhow, sleighs seera to haT
"gone out" When a man men
tions a "sleigh ride" nowadays
they usually put him down for a
cocaine "dope." Children of the
next generation probably will
think a slefgh bell was a signal
for killing, or something of that
sort
f
Those same children won't haye
the faintest idea,' either, what a
horse-drawn steam fire engine
looks like, unless they happen to
dig up photographs out of the
past or visit a museum to gaze
upon that once common appa-ratus-
Many Are the Causes.
No horse-drawn fire apparatus
has appeareij on Omaha i streets
for mere than two years. Motor
' trucks have come and he old
time fire( horses are no more.
Steam fire engines disappeared at
the Tame time. They're' using
gasoline motors now, instead.
A "combination of causes," gar
the oldtimers, is to blame for the
, changed appearance- of Omaha
streets.
The eighteenth amendment is
one of them. It drove from the
highways and byways the once
familiar brewery wagon, which
made its regular and frequent
journeys to saloon portals and
through the alleys of residence
districts. Don't see 'em any
more. The bootleggers are com
pelled by certain exigencies to
use more discretion.
Not Here Anymore.
And what of the changes the
shifting edicts of style have
wrought? Where are the tight
trousers of yesteryear, donned
with eclat and worn in trepidation
and fear? And where the big
sleeves and the long skirts in
which Omaha femininity once dis
ported? 'Passe, gone, "dead stuff."
Probably there are a lot of other
skeletons that might-be dug tip.
There's a certain mystery about
bleached bones that "doesn't cling
to flesh-covered ones. Who, for
instance, ever saw his own
bleached bones? A 4,000-year-old
Eg'pitian mummy 'that never
sneaked onto page one of a
hieroglyphic can arouse both in
terest and envy among a hard
working assemblage of archaeol
ogists. Can't Look Back. (
But ghouling has its limits.
A post-mortem never won a
jack-oot and looking back has its
disadvantages as a habit "Eyes
rear" are too apt to put their
owner in a class with last jeaxa
calendar,
