4
AMUSEMENTS-
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EDITORIAL
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UNDAY BEE
MAHA
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VOL. L NO. 19.
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I EXTINCT, BUT THE MASH NOTE "STILL.
GOES ON ACCORDHQ TO TUE GGL
IN THE BOX OFFICE -
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': U APPEAL
By J. T. ARMSTRONG.
"Dearest, I love you more and
more as I set each night in the
front row watching i you. I am
enclosing $5 for you to have your
picture taken, so you can send me.
one." "
The short-skirtedV ultra-rouged
person who received this note
yawned slightly and tossed it to
Miss Fannie Gladwyn of the Bran
deis theater box office fop inspec
tion. "Another hick fallen hard," she
remarked, as she tucked the money
away for safe keeping. "Fawncy
me wastin' my time with that
when there's a dozen regular lads
waitin' for me back in lil' old New
Yawlc- " . -
Miss Gladwyn glanced at the:
note and recognized the signature
as that of a "well-to-do young
commission man operating on the
South Side. She also remembered
he had sold him one seat in the
front row for each of five per
formances. ,
"Yes, fawncy it," she replied
ironically, but her sarcasm was
lost on the young person who oc
cupied no less than the third from
the right, front row position in the
chorus of a musical comedy show
ing at the Brandeis. -
Like Blue-Eyed Babies.
"It's the baby-eyed, clinging
vine type like her that pur men
out here' fall for," observed Miss
Gladwyn, as the short-skirted per
son departed. "Vamps in the
movies may need black hair and
dark, soulful eyes to put the vamp
act over, but in real life it's the
blue-eyed little , girl with the
bobbed hair or curls that make
heart specialists a necessity.
"One innocent stare from those
blue eyes and nine out of 10 men
fall, regardless of how vacant the
surrounding countenance is."
Miss Gladwyn was interrupted
by a breathless young man who
needed ajiair cut and was wearing
what was unmistakably . his fa
ther's overcoat .
"Can- you give me the first seat
in the first box for the first perfor
mance of 'Who's There?' " he in
quired timidly, and then blushed. '
"Yu-you see, her train was
stalled over in Walnut, la., an' she
was walking around the station an'
I saw her," he said by way of ex
planation. "We got right well ac
quainted, so I thought I'd come on
and surprise her."
Did she have blue eyes and
oris?" inquired Miss Gladwyn. .
' They Hit 'Era AIL v
"We-1L her hair was sort of red
dish golden and yes, her eyes
were brae. She didn't look more'n
16 years old. 1 Do you know her?"
tagerly. ' -
"No, not yet." replied Miss
Gladwyn, .nodding triumphantly to
her audience. '- And .aiTthe" youth"
from Walnut picked up his straw
euitcase "You see, it works the
same with the country boy, the
blase man-aboui-town or the well
known tired business man.
"Speaking of tired business men
-dkl you . ever notice how 1 they
choose, their seats? If it's a mu-'
sical show with a chorus, and
they're going alone, they won't
take anything back of the third
row.v They used to think a con
ventional musical comedy was
what the tired business men
craved really, though, it's the
type of show called a revue, with
lots o( girls in scant attire that
they want , y
"There is one Omaha man who
insists on front row at a revue,
but won't sit closer than the tenth
row when there's a real play. He
won't come at all unless his wife
makes him that is, .to anythingX
but a revue.
"The T. B. man phrase may be
overworked, but it's abased on ac
tual fact If the girli in a review
happen to dance out over' the audi
ence these T. M's fight for seats
right up against the runway where
they dance. '
"Yes, we have dozen of notes
from young - Omaha men they
aren't always young for chorus
girls. The girls usually aren't as
good looking as regular Omaha,
girls. It's their makeup and the'
music and. the lure of the theater
generally that makes them fall. -
"No, it's seldom the girls in the
big musical shows pay any atten
tion to Omaha men. Of course,
they want amusement, but here are
the notes they like to receive."
. Miss Gladwyn produced a tele
gram from New York. It read:
Dearest, I love yon. I'm lonesome
for you." .
"There is always . someone in
New York for the girls to talk
about" said Miss Gladwyn, "andv
telegrams just like this are always
arriving for them
"No, the flappers don't go wild
over handsome men on the stage
as they used" to High school girls
seem to prefer movie stars. They're
much safer. r '
"Occasionaly an Omaha woman
asks the age of some male star at
the. box office, but even that's a
rare thing: j
-"Do ticket buyers say funny
tbingi Well, they ask us how
high the balcony is and how loud
the orchestra plays. They still
worry and fret because they might
get behind a post and one old man
just a few miuutes ago asked me
if he could get a seat in the lobby.
"If you wan't to get a real line
on things, though, you should talk
to the man at the stage entrance."
The "man at the stage entrance"
of the Orpheum theater proved to
be no other than Charlie Gorr
who really shouldn't have been at
the stage entrance at all, consider
ing the fact he is stage manager.
"No admittance," growled Mr.
Go'rr, thus living up to the reputa
tion which all stage door men have
acquired by long years of unceas
ing vigilance. s
They Are Thinning Outt
"Any stage, door Johnnies been
"bothering you lately, vMr. Gorr?"
"Nope, the Jawns haven't got
the nerve tlrey used to have."
spake Mr. Gorr. "Thought you
were one, though. First time an
ILLW
HAS BECOME ALMOST,
N
outsider's traversed this') alley in
-months. . -
"Good old days when you used
to keep the Jawns back with a club
are gone. , Girls don't have much
use for the Jawns any more. Back
in 1895,. when this theater was
?pened, there used to be enough
awns around here to form an
army regiment . .' -
"What's become of the stage
door lizards, Mr. Gorr?"
"Found some other occupation.
They H soon be' extinct. Three of
'em fell for some girls in a bath
ing suit act here not long ago.
They sent notes to the girls and
the girls tore the note up.
"Jawns didn't despair, though.
They had a big car and waited till
the act was over. Girls started '
out, saw 'em waiting and came
back. They went out another way.
Jawns kept on waiting till about
12:30. We waited to see how long
they'd wait.
"Finally one of them said he
guessed the girls must have had
time to dress and probably had
gone. They left - - . ,
i "Girls still get lots of love notes,
though, mostly from young Oma
ha fellows who have lots of
money. These fellows aren't any
better off than the ordinary
Jawns, though. Most managers of
acts where there are girls tell us
not to Deliver the notes, and the
girls don't know-the difference.
N "These fellsws still send the
girls silk stockings and jewelry,
just like they did 35 years ago.
Sometimes we give the girls the
presents.
Well Oiled Hair.
"Ought to talk to one of the
girls, though, if you want to get a
real line on things."
"Qne of the girls" appeared. She
had blue eyes and curls. ,
"Johnnies," she Jeclared, "are
nothing in my young life. I've
heard tell of the young men,'
though. They generally use oil
on their hair and wear top coats
and silk hats, don't they?
"Well, no, I don't mind getting
a note now, and then telling me
how- beautiful I am. Silk stock
ings aren't every day occurrences,
either, are they?
"The New York Johrmies aren't
so bad, at thay They don't think
much of their money, and they're
polite and respectful, at least. Out
here its different They haven't
got the money to spend, they
wouldn't have any place to spend
it and wouldn't know how if they
hid. And moreover they don't
know how to act. , They think
because we're on the stage we all
smoke cigarets and swear, and
try to Jreat us accordingly. ,
"You won't find any chorus
girls breaking shoe strings in their
jiaste to meet an Omaha Johnny.
"If you want to get a real line
on things, though, you should talk
to a theater .manager." .
, A manager who was willing to
make a few trite remarks about
stage door loafers in particular,
and Omaha audiences in general,
provided his cognomen was kept
f- a dark secret was found without
difficulty. .
Still a FeW Parties.
"Omaha audiences 1 are getting '
cold," began this manager. 'They
aren't- blase, because they don't
see enough ta be that They're
simply cold.
"How about the stage - door
OMAHA, SUNDAY MORNING?, OCTOBER 24, 1920.
ITE 'EM-anaoinTikOTer
( X Vi-' .1 5TARETHAT,;i I- . X. "S.
' : v VV" "" GETS 'EM" l)'f X
' 'W : ; THE MASK - - fl; S?tl fe3 "KESSgy .
j. ' ill - f
' V JiU'f: h Getting Cheap ;
boys?
parties
then
Well,
staged
"Would you believe it. a woman
actually struck me in the face re
cently when I told her her child
was disturbing the audience. She
had taken the taby in on the agree
ment to leave if it cried, too.
"Oh, yes, about the parties.
They're becoming fewer all the
time. The Johns are actually get
ting out of practice. Guess "the
movies- have discouraged them.
There's no use in a John standing
around the stage entrance of a
movie show, now is there?
"You know Omaha, audiences
are sometimes very impolite. They
leave before a show is over even
when it's a good show. They don't
, seem to realize the effort expended
on a finale if it's a musical show,
or the feelings of the actors if it's
a vaudeville show.
"No, I haven't seen a regular
John, high hat and top coat and
all, for years. They don't stand
by the stage door with a bouquet,
in their hands like they used to.
"Girls are more independent
now. That's probably one reason.
They have their equity association
and their salaries are better. Mr.
Volstead had something to do with
the passing of the John, too. Then
there's the movies.
"You ought to talk to someone
in the box offices of a movie
'house to get the real dope."
A ADout tne ctris.
Miss Julia Blaufuss.
of ths
Strand theater box office, volun.
teers some information, somewhat
as follows: .
"People are funny. ' They come
up and put down their money
then stare at you without saying
i word.
"High school girls are wild
about Wallace Reid and Harold
Lloyd. They all want to be like
Constance Talmadge she seems
to have such a good time all the
time, an besides, she wears the
tnere are some f 4 Xm.
in, Omaha, but V t
' r i VJ t .m. By Tames f. Montague '
kind of clothes that appeal to
school girls.
'"High school boys want to see
Bill Hart Or Tom Mix. They
wish they could roll 'em with one
hand, and plan on 'buying a six
'shooter at the earliest opportun
ity. , That is most high school
,boys. There are a few who are
more interested in love, and seem
to like the more mature woman
stars like Clara Kimball Young,
and Norma Talmadge and . Gloria
Swanson.
"Grown men - seem to like
Thomas Meighan and male stars
of his type.
1 "Do the former legitimate stage
door loafers patronize the movies?
Of course, 'they do. It isn't the
6ame for 'em, though. They can
write notes to pretty girls on the
screen, of course, but they have
to address either New York or
Los Angeles and spend at least 2
cents for a stamp.
Love, at Long Distance.
"Yes, occasionally we get a
three-cornered pink enveloped let
ter at the box office to be for
warded to; stars. These messages
are usually from high school girls.
Mostly the girls ask for an auto
graph or about their chances in
the movies.
"Love by long distance doesn't
appeal much to either flappers or
to stage door Johnnies.
"It's a funny thing. Those who
are most blase about touching
scenes in the legitimate theater
sob the most at a sad scene in! the
movies.
"So there you art" -
.: ;'"'"-'! : :-' ;
1 D
Now that the immigration bars
are down, you can get cooks at a
reasonable price. All you have ,to do
is to go to an employment office and
ask for a greenhorn. She won't
know how to cook, but you can
teach her if you happen to know
how yourself. "
She won't know how to speak
English, but you can teach her Eng
lish, too, if you happen to under
stand Lithuanian or Czecho-Slovak,
or Norwegian, or whatever her na
tive tongue happens to be. If you
don't, you can get a tutor for her.
She won't know anything about
housekeeping, but neither do the ex
pensive ones, so that isn't as much
of a disadvantage as it seems.
By a reasonable price is meant, as
far as I can discover, a reasonable
price from the. cook's standpoint of
view. That means anything over
$70 a month, with the cost of food
for neighborhood parties and Stock
holm old home weeks thrown in.
We've been getting. 'em. at reason
able prices lately. Bit after we got
'em we were in the same pair.iul
situation that Peter Peter Pumpkin
Eater found himself in with- his
wife, until he hit on the expedient
of the pumpkin shell. Only for us
there wasn't any substitute for the
pumpkin shell
r Resigned Hurriedly.
We hired the first one with the
aid of an interpreter. She resigned
the same afternoon without any in
terpreter. Her manner of informing
us that she was going was to go,
which was quite intelligible to us. ,
The next one had a little English,
which she had evidently picked up
ron the ship coming over, where the
picking was not very good. t
She got us a real Czecho-Slovak
meal, which was all right, save for
the fact that we couldn't eat. it It
had in it eggs, milk, bran, tomatoes,
potatoes and a part of a ham, all
cooked together with garlic the
garlic predominating.
We told her we didn't like it, ind
she replied that if we didn't like it
we didn't like her, and therefore
she would feel called upon to sever
her relations with us. This she did
by taking the kettle in which she had
cooked the dinner and overturningit
on the dining room floor.
It was what the Germans call a
gesture, but it was quite under
standable, i
The one after that objected to her
bath tub. It was not big enough
to hold her wardrobe, and she
seemed to have some rooted objec
tion to the closet we had provided
We were sorry she left because
she really cooked two meals that
we could eat, and showed some in
dication of having seen a gas stove
before.
Gas Mystery to Her.
The next one was free from any
acquaintance with gas stoves. She
was, however, delighted with the
discovery that they could be lighted
with matches, and after having teen
taught to do so she insisted on
lighting all the; burners and keeping
them lighted ail the time.
It was pleasant to watch .Jhe
simple delight depicted on ner
countenance as she pulled up a
chair to the stove and watched the
dancing flames.
But as she absolutely refused to
hide any of them from her vision by
putting a kettle or frying pan on it,
we had to remonstrate.
She took our remonstrances in
bad part, and quit
Another came to take her place.
LThis one, in our absence, built a
pretty little fire of wotod billets on
the cellar floor, and was about to
hang a kettle on it when we re
turned. She seemed distressed when the
smoke that filled the house made
us cough. But she would have none
of the stove, and made it apparent
to us that she would cook the food
in her own way or not cook it at all.
There is considerable inflammable
TEN CENTS
material in the cellar, so we had to
be firm. " v
Some of the family suggested that
it would be better to clean out the
cellar and let her follow her own
primitive instincts about cooking,
but the smoke was too bad. It
couldn't be done.
After that we varied our program
and secured a lady who had not
ccme from foreign parts but from
somewhere south of Richmond.
fhe was a fa:rly good cook, but
s was also an accomplished
kleptomaniac. And she insisted on
carrying a suitcase away with her
every time she left the house, packed
with silverware, groceries, or any
ether little thing she happened to
think she might require.
So, rather thanv take the trouble
to reform her, we fired her.
We are doing out own housework
now. It keeps us out of the busy
whir most of the time, but now and
then one of us makes a mistake and
leaves the steak in the broiler just
the right length of time, so we get
tolerable meat at least once a week.
When" we don'twe can always
wash up the wreckage and go to a
hotel. ; . t
But anyway we are not running a
training school any longer.
Singer Hopes Operation
May Restore Her Voice
San Francisco, Oct 23. In the
hope that her voice may be restored
by surgical operation or by a suitable
climate, Madame H. Large of Lon
don and New Zealand; pupil of
Madame Melba, has arrived here
with her husband.
. Madame Large will visit the Mayo
brothers,, at Rochester, Minn, to
learn if anything can be done by ta
world-famous surgeons for her vote.
Mr. Large is an international ag
ure, having worked with Herbert
Hoover in war relief work. The
couple were married after the war
and are making a retnr honavmoua
trip to Lou
