The Omaha Sunday Bee
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OMAHA, SUNDAY M011N1NG, JULY 25, 1920.
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Any Ragtime Music Makes
His Feet Start Jazzing
Rhythmic Click of Dirt Train Wheels on "Dodge
Short Line" Track Is Melody to Darky His
Dancing Disturbs Judge Fitzgerald.
Not even thoughts of a term in
the penitentiary can cause Walter
Williams, colored, to keep his feet
still when he hears "ragtime" music.
Walter, whose other name is Syl
vester Moore, is wanted at Grand
Island on a grand larceny charge,
and he is in the city jail awaiting
arrival of officers from Grand
Island.
The past week he and about 20
other prisoners were taken to the
police station and placed in the
"bull pen." They were rather a sul
len lot as they sat huddled together
on a long bench, awaiting trial.
Walter crouched in a corner, made
himself as inconspicuous as possi
ble and tried to take a nap.
Dirt Train Rumbles.
Through an open window came
the clinkety-clank of a dirt train on
the Dodge short line. Walter open
ed his eyes and listened. The train
drew nearer and the beat of the
wheels against rail joints became
Miller Park Golfer
Drives Vicious Ball
And Slays a Gopher
J. J. Thiele lives near Miller pirk
and plays golf on the links at this
recreation and rest center.
He played golf Thursday evening.
He made a vicious drive and
"killed a gopher that was enjoying
the landscape near one of the
greens.
Mr. Thiele telephoned to the park
department office and inquired if the
city allowed any bounty on gophers.
He was told to come to the oflies
VsJ- lit li
- Society
BUMBLE BEE
By Mme. Scandal.
Things are buzzing among the
worth-while people and they are get
ting engaged and married just like
common folks. Mme. Scandal has
long ears and hears a lot of things
about our local aristocracy.
Delightful Mrs. Codfish
Just last week Mrs. Codfish (she
is a member of THE Codfish fam
ily whose grandfather made his start
as a shoe peddler here in the early
days, though that is not mentioned
now) was talking to Alme. Scandal
in her own charming manner and let
us know that we may look soon tor
an announcement of the engagement
of a certain young lady very closely
related to Mrs. Codfish.
Mrs. Codfish saw Mme. Scandal
walking down town and invited her
into her electric (which is of the
. most expensive make) and while
driving down town told her this
choice bit of news.
Mrs. Codfish makes one feel at
ease. One does not know when one
is talking with her that one is talk
ing to one of the richest women in
Omaha.
Bachelor Wins Omaha
Girl of High Degree
The charming bachelor who is to
marry the person related so closely
to Mrs. Codfish lives in a city not
more than 400 miles from Omaha
and on. the Missouri Pacific. He has
visited ill Omaha several times, when
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more rhythmic. Walter stood up.
As the cars passed the police station
the wheels broke into a lively rag
time and Waltei'i feet started. Long
after the train was beyond hearing
2U pairs of hands and feet continued
to keep time and Walter continued
o dance.
. Judge Fitzgerald was trying a
case in the court room adjoining the
bull pen. He halted an attorney
questioning a witness and listenfd.
"Jes' Couldn't He'p It."
"What the (hell is going on in
there?" he asked the court sergeant.
Sergeant Holden opened the door of
the cage and beheld Walter in the
act of doing some fancy buck and
wing stunts. Walters applied the
brakes, but it was fully two min
utes before his feet stopped work
ing. "I jes couldn't help it, cap'n; I's
jes naturally got it in me, and it's
got to get out somehow," explained
the prisoner.
and he would be paid 25 cents if he
furnished evidence of the tragedy
which he related.
Frank Elias, secretary in the park
office, at first understood Mr. Thiele
to say "goat" over the telephone
and expressed great surprise to
think that a goat could be killed by
a golf ball.
Gladys Leslie has arrived in Los
Angeles and expects to make the
west coast her future home.
Edwin Earle, who has been fea
tured as leading man in many eastern-made
productions, is in Los
Angeles for an indefinite stay.
BY A . 3TINQBRV
he was lavishly entertained at the
Carter Lake club.
He drives a fine automobile cost
ing $850. He was educated in the
grade schools of his home city and
at four military academies in the east
which specialize in education 'of the
scions of our better families. His
father is in the wholesale grocery
trade.
Parents Object
He is a most attractive bachelor,
of the blond type and she is a beau
tiful brunette. They have been seen
frequently together and 'tis said the
wedding will take place in October
in spite of parental objection. Her
father is employed by the smelter
and is a large man. Recently, 'tis
whispered, he kicked our young
Romeo out of the house. Then the
little brunette left home and secured
a position in the 10-cent store, where
she is now employed. The young
.pair eat lunch together there at noon
and papa knows nothing of it.
The young man is a graduate ''of
the Kearney Industrial school and
now is engaged in the truck-driving
profession.
Young Doctor and
a Charming Nurse
A certain young doctor and an at
tractive trained nurse have been seen
together so much lately that Mme.
Scandal just knows there is some
thing "in the air." The doctor has
a position in. a local drug store. He
never took his degree at the veter
inary college where he started, but
all his friends call him "Doc." The
trained nurse met him while pur
chasing something in the store. He
Omaha ftffks
A?
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Caiight on the Fly
Prof. C. F. Crowley, city chemist,
was apprehended the other afternoon
leaving the city hall with O. A.
Scott, city lighting superintendent.
Asked by the anxious inquirer
whither he was bound, the professor
replied he was going out to find an
echo. Pressed for a more lucid
explanation of his errand, he con
fided that he was on his way to the
North Presbyterian church to find
an echo which has been annoying
the pastor and attendants. After
testing his voice from the pulpit of
the church, Mr. Crowley concluded
that the suspension of a chandelier
in the dome would remove the ob
jectionable feature of the acoustics.
There is one little girl in, Omaha
who thinks a lot of M. JMDineen,
assistant chief of the fire depart
ment. A few days ago the chief re
sponded to a telephone fire alarm,
calling at an address where he was
unable to find any evidence of fire
cr find ' anyone who knew of an
alarm having been sent in. He
checked it back through the tele
phone exchange and was told that
the alarm had been sent over a tele
phone two houses south from the
address given. Going to the address
from which the call had been sent,
the chief found three girls, whose
mother was absent. One girl con
fessed that she sent in the false
alarm and she pleaded so hard that
the chief promised to not report the
matter.. Mr. Dineen has a large fam
ily of children. He insists that this
little girl "learned her lesson."
J. E. O'Brien, president of the
Tenants' Protective league, received
a telephone call last week from a
widow who lives on North Twenty
fourth street and owns six houses
in a row. She had raised the rent
$15 per month on each house and
was experiencing trouble with
her tenants. She importuned Mr.
O'Brien to help her in an hour of
trouble, being under the impression
that the league was organized for
the benefit of landlords. Mr. O'Brien
succeeded in convincing her that the
league had been organized "of, for
and by" tenants and that he was un-
)
is a charming fellow of the brun
nctte type and was arrested some
time ago for practicing medicine
without a license and using the mails
to defraud. The case will probably
be dropped.
She is temporarily unemployed
but expects to take up a course in
trained nursing.
Woe, Woe From a
Southern Romeo
He came up from the southland,
this dashing Romeo, some time ago
and promptly laid siege to the heart
of one of Omaha's girls of an ex
clusive family living in north Dun
dee or south Benson.
Her mother looked on compla
cently, for the - dashing southerner
told of the ancestral home and the
big plantation and the levees of the
Mississippi where his family had
lived for' generations.' .His" grand
father was a colonel in Lee's army,
he said. He told of their numerous
negro servants and talked of sending
for his big roadster, which was just
standing in the garage with the fam
ily's four other cars.
The Omaha mama, being very
careful, wrote to the southern city
for information and got an answer
that dashed her visions of daughter
surrounded by ex-sla'es to do her
bidding. Mother read the riot act
to would-be son-in-law the next time
he called. . Son-in-law got mad and
told the aristocratic matron that he
wouldn't marry into her family for
less than half a dozen farms.
The funny, part of it is that farms
are the thing on which the family
fortunes are founded. Grandpa was
a farmer long before granddauehter
set un as an aristocrat '
able to see his way clear to assist
her in the enterprise of convincing
six tenants that their rent should be
increased $15 per month.
An elderly man, anxious to con
duct a small fruit stand at Eight
eenth and Cuming streets, called on
City Commissioner Zimman a few
days ago with an earnest request
that the commissioner assist him
in obtaining a permit. Mr. Zim
man explained that the man might
place his fruit stand within a lot
line and in all probability would not
be disturbed. But the man was in
sistent on having a. permit and
his insistency reached a point where
he offered the commissioner $1
Mr. Zimman smiled and reiterated
his explanation. The man handed
the money again, whereupon the
commissioner replied that if the ten-
I 1
First on the Line
Apex owners are first to get their clothes
on the line, because the Apex Electric
' Washer is the fastest machine. Two things
are responsible the Apex tub and the
Apex wringer.
The Apex is the original oscillator double
action is secured, and the clothes are
washed in half the time ordinarily required.
This oscillating tub is patented nothing
equals it.
The wringer of the Apex Washer is of the
adjustable swinging type, operating from
four positions. It is driven by the motor
that drives the Apex, and at the same time
when desired. This saves time, for your
clothes can be electrically wrung from
bluing to rinse water while a fresh batch is
being washed in the tub.
Boiling and rubbing is eliminated from the
washing process when the Apex Electric is
used another time and labor saving fea
ture. It' is small wonder that the Apex
is first to get your clothes on the line.
ASK FOR FREE TRIAL.
OMAHA DES
404 S. Fl
Tl
USE
BEE WANT ADS
SMITH HAVING A G8EAT TIME
BURNING BACON BUT HE ,
WOULD LEAVE HOME IF HIS
WIFE FED HIM THE SAME -
der was $100,000 he might consider
the proposition, but he was not at
tracted by $1.
"Did you ever go away from your
old home town and meet somebody
who inquired about a person or
place?" asked E. L. Bradley, who
recently returned from the Shriners'
"big meet at Portland. Mr. Bradley
carried the big drum in the Tangier
Temple band. He related that as he
marched along the streets', beating
the drum "for the very oid Harry,"
he heard people along the line of
inarch asking about Farnam street,
W. J. Bryan, Ak-Sar-Ben and other
references which indicated that the
speakers had been in Omah-j.
"It is music in your ears when
you are a long, long way-from
Omaha," said Mr. Bradley.
J. E. Kirk, owner of the Grand
theater, returned last Thursday from
a vacation among the Minnesota
lakes.
JLUUL
MOINES SIOUX CITY
FTEENTH C7.-C:JAHA
THEY- BRING RESULTS
Jealous of Husband;
Ringer's Weight 220;
They Said on Street
Detached bits ot conversation oc
casionally have a humorous touch.
They stimulate the imagination and
pique the curiosity of the one who
has not heard the entire conversa
tion. The following are convcrsa'
tional bon mots heard during the
clay s work.
"Sometimes I go down town and
I don t meet a soul and then, again
I will run into everybody I know."
"She is so jealous -of her husband
that she makes me smile.
. "Dean Ringer weighs 220
pcunds.
"She is not so pretty, but she has
beautiful teeth and a nice person
ality." "I've got a broken back."
"Are you going to take your trunk
with you?"
"I've been in Omaha 20 years and
I've done nearly everything except
peddle booze."
"I'm going to South Bend, Ind."
"What do you mean, you're going
to Canada?"
"You might do worse." She re
plied: "It would be hard to do
worse."
"How is your health holding
out?"
"Looks don't amount to much, af
ter all."
Citizen Who Inquires
"Is It Hot Enough
Should Be Punished
Keep cool!
That is the advice of Dr. J.. F.
Edwards, health commissioner.
The doctor asserted that the man
who exclaims, "Is it hot enough for
you?" should be put in irons.
The health commissioner explains
that one may worry himself into a
state of considerable heat by talk
ing and thinking about the tempera
ture. He takes a cold bath every morn
ing and starts the day with a de
termination to me "cool, calm and
collected."
He advocates a moderated speech
and a conservation of conversation
during the good old summer time.
"Don't get your mind 'all het up'
by unnecessary arguments or con
tentions," , he advises.
He aso recommends cool
thoughts.
And, above all things, don't ask:
"Is it hot enough for you?"
1920 Relics Flood Paris
For American Purchasers
Paris, July 24. "Prehistoric" ar
rowheads "made in the year 1920
A. D.," and destined for allegedly
credulous curio collectors of Ameri
ca, have been discovered in Paris
auction rooms.
So many found their way into rep
utable art sales that connoisseurs be
came alarmed. Investigation re
sulted, and an entire family living
near a certain stone quarry between
Abbeville and Beauvis has been ar
rested. Or Ben j F BaiixW'
Sanatoriu
This institution is the only one
in the central west with separate
buildings situated in their own
grounds, yet entirely distinct, and
rendering it possible to classify
cases. The one building being fit
ted for and devoted to the treat
ment of noncontagious and nonmen
tal diseases, no others being admit
ted; the other Rest Cottage being
designed for and devoted to the
exclusive treatment of select mental
cases requiring for a time watchful
care and special nursing.
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HEAVY
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1212 Farnam. Tel. D. 353
Minister, Good at Repartee,
Takes. Dig at Legal Friend
Rev. Frank G. Smith Gains Reputation as After
Dinner Speaker Here's Pair of His Most Re
cent Stories.
Rev. Frank G. Smith, pastor of
the First Central Congregational
church, is gaining a reputation as an
after-dinner speaker. He is clever
at repartee.
At a recent function Carl Her
ring, lawyer, took a little fling at the
ministers in the presence of Rev. Mr.,
Smith and other local ministers.
When Rev. Mr. Smith spoke be
took advantage of the opportunity
to get back at his legal friend by
saying:
Wherin Carl is Scored.
"A group of Omaha lawyers
knocked at the pearly gates, seeki:
admission. St. Peter met them and
demanded their credentials. They
told the keeper of the gate that they
were all members of the Douglas
County Bar association in good
stapding, but St. Peter was obdu
rate and denied admission.
"'But we see Carl Herring inside
Breezy Visitor Carries
Eloquent Umbrella Along
Harry Palmer Has to Shut Off Electric Fan When
Captain Who Is Traveling "East and West"
Appears.
A man wearing, fierce mustachios
and heavy eyebrows and bristling
with esprit du corps, breezed into
the office of Harry O. Palmer yes
terday afternoon and immediately
announced himself as Captain Cas
tro of Butte, Mont.
The visitor waved an umbrella to
accentuate the incisiveness of his
words and otherwise impressed him
self in a temperamental manner.
"So you are Captain Castro," said
Mr. Palmer, seeking to put the caller
at ease.
"Yes, I am Captain Castro and I
was asked by Homer B. Whitehorn
to call on you," the stranger replied.
"You are traveling, I would take
it," Mr. Palmer added.
"Yes, I am traveling east and I
am traveling west," was the para
doxical reply.
The captain then, explained that
he was a mining engineer and had
been in the service of a company in
Butte, Mont., but had received a call
to return to Chili, South America,
and help subdue the Peruvians. He
added that he had attended a mili
tary academy in Chili when a youth
and was traveling west to return to
Chili, and when he had finished his
mission in South America he would
travel westward again to Montana.
Mr. Palmer stated that the captain
was the' breeziest object he had ob
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PATRONIZE FOR RESULTS-BEE WANT
ADS. PHONE TYLER 1000
and we think that we, too, should
be admitted.' said one of the discon-,4
certed barristers. "V
'"Oh, hell, he's no lawyer,' St.
Peter replied."
Another recent story told by this
Omaha minister follows:
This On the Clergy.
"A clubman was expecting guests,
sonic of whom were members of the
clergy. He intended to serve tw
watermelons, one of which he filled
with claret, which he instructed
Mose, his servant, to serve to the
laity and to serve the other melon
to the ministers. In a few minutes
the club man asked Mose to go out
and see how the guests were get
ting along with the melons. Mose
returned and reported that the min
isters had divided the claret-soaked
melon, had eaten it down to the
rind and were placing the seeds in
their vest pockets."
served this summer. In fact, he shut
off his electric fan during the visit
of the captain.
It was evident that the captain
had met up with a former classmate
of Mr. Palmer.
"He carried the most eloquent
umbrella I have ever seen," said Mr.
Palmer.
Weighed 623 in January;
He's Down to 347 Novy
Atlantic City, N. J., July 24.
Emory Titman, who a year ago
claimed all records for weight for
his age, has cashed in enough iets
to keep him in smokes for another
year no matter what "reformers" do
to the "weed." January 1 Titman,
then weighing 623 pounds, decided
to reduce. His friends joshed him
and he began to wager cigars that
he would be down to 400 by his
31st birthday. He volunteered as a
kundryman and worked almost con
tinuously in the steam room. The
fat began to roll off and then he
went about among his friends wag
ering more cigars that he would be
down to 350 by July. These friends
gathered about him as he got on the
scales and looked on in amazement
when the dial registered 317. His
rigorous training course had
knocked of 276 pounds in seven
months.
IB
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