THE OMAHA SUNDAY EEE: JULY .4,1920.
5 A
CROOKS IN SOUTH Senator Harding Popularized the Front Porch and
SIDE JAIL FIGHT Omaha Boasts Many Where Domestic Scenes Dominate
FOR BETTER WAGE
Form Union to Demand Higher
Allowance On Fines for
Time Served In
Custody.
' By FRANK W. MULOCK.
While police court judges of the
South Side police court were taking
their annual vacations Police Cap
fain. T,-Uti V Rripc anrl fieorcre
Allen were busy rounding up the ! and republicans, prohibitionists and
. . r. . r-. . I linmp-hrow 3r11i,-t With a smuc
crooks as usual and the M-mtn stcie
jail becan to fill up. . The alleged
Season Is at Hand When
These Vantage Points
Are Thick With Fam
ily Members.
The front porch is a rendezvous
of rest and recreation, where the
city dweller enjoys a ttrcease at
eventide, clad in summer-time habili
ments, with wife and kiddies at
his side and a gentle eveninn breeze
lending an invitatory touch to thi
scene.
It is one of the institutions which
makes the world safe for democrats
crooks had plenty of time to rurai
rate and reminesce.-
"It's a howling shame." remarked
the burglar in cell No. 4.
"It's worse 'n that." retorted the
thief in cell No. 3. ' I t's a disgrace
to the community. It's class legisla
tion, that's what it is. Something
aujht to be done about it. I'm in
'ivor of starting a campaign, with a
nig drive and all that, with a slogan,
you know, 'Better Wages for
Crooks.' or 'Bum Pay, Bum Work.'
How s that?
"It's ra"k discrimination
vl'if it is, said the burglar
home-brew addicts. With a smug
expression on his countenance and
a mug of lemonade nearby, here is
where the tired business man and
the fatigued artisan may find re
juvenation. It is the Elysium which
extends a silent welcome at the close
of the day's work. It is the little
domestic Bohemia where conven
tionalities are dismissed.
Harding Popularizes Porches.
Since Warren Gamaliel Harding,
I'nited States senator of Marion,
O., was nominated at the recent re
publican frontier day celebration at
Chicago, and it became common
i-nu.-iHiT. that the senator had a
that's ! spacious front porch, the subject of
"Five 1 front porches has been given un-
GOAL SHORTAGE
LIKELY, THOUGH
N0 FAMINE DUE
X
Transportation Most Acute
Difficulty Facing Fuel Deal
ers and Slight Strin
gency Looms for Fall.
. . . I 1 - U . ... th nrtcc atlfl lit
v-ars ?"i I got lined tJW and costs, vsiiai "" -
'rv,, ,-.. ",t r-mi'nr wnrkinp I cublic places where the spoken
scale of $2 a dnv, 101 davs to work
the fine out. That was fair enough
then. I had no kick coming."
No Rise in Wages.
"An' whatdaya nit now?" queried
the thief in l:3M..t. "Two hundred
: r.d co-ts means just what it did
five years ago, 101 ('.ays in jail. It's
enough to riake a decent, respect
able crook give un in disgust and
turn to day labor."
"And with wnjes in every other
l:nc going up every day." exclaimed
the burglar. "Carncr.t?rs used to be
glad to get $2 a dr.y and now they
tern up their no.,os at 8 a da v. And
we are tr!i"ol'n" nloncr at the same
old rate of p-v. It's ei"-uc,h to make
a man turn bolshevik."
"That ain't all," continued the
thief. "Look at the petit larceny
Yrr.'.t Is it ?nv higher than it was
five years ago?" No! An.t the cost
of living going up every day
"Why, five years a?;o I could steal
half a dozen pair of ihoes and be
comfortably sure I w?s within the
petit hrrenv limit. Caii I do it
now? Why, if I steal a sngle pair
of '.hoes t-r!ay I'm liable to be
cWged with praV.d larceny. And
sill: rhi-fs! Why, I used to steal
HH a ro-cn at a t me and I. knew
I vo-'.-l draw nothing more than a
HI -ritence. Nov if I steal two
I':i fin- for a jolt down it Lincoln.
Tt'-S that's what it is Do
Vy -mt to run us all out of busi-
in
tT- r.'a:.3 Distinction.
' , ,- ' ? t' b- glad of it." the
:!etl. "It helps vou and
a inst rs. In the old
a r "i lnd to soid his usual
.. . jr-rcnticcr-hip as a tniei
'--. "v co -'d get a card as a jour-
,, ..i:hr. Now you little fel
,.,'ti't Vtoal ar.vthing that comes
:;th- thievery c'ar-s. You steal
.. . .i. ...v,;i. and what
Wr-v? Why. M one- people call
voV a b't'tV.r. 'Taint fair to us.
.' . 1 J- tUit Art nsr
" -ii"t nMlP.t COOH urra i" '
Vou fe'.iows are too stuck up any
how. And when you graduate into
the yegg cln's-why. yoi, won t look
at vour old friends. And there s
anrther thing," the burg ar sid.
"That's this income tax. t was an
risht during the war. But how
about it now? It costs tw.ee as
much for an honest burgbr to live
Do thev consider th,t? Thev, taxed
me twice as much this vea
Many a night I have stayed up into
fie wee small hours trving to make
a little extra for the family. Dos
the government consider that
"It wouldn't re so " "
didn't discriminate. In any other
business they make allowance for
legitimate expenses. It s the net in
come they tax you on. But hoyv
sbout its poor burgbrs? Do they
knock off what we have to pay out
tor fines when were caught? Its
enough to make a man lie down and
quit." .,
"Poor Struggling Cop.
' "And how about chanty?" broke
in the chief. "I thought a certain
percentage was eliminated wher
given to charity. Now take the case
of the poor struggling copper who
pinched, me last month, felt sorry
for him. ooor fellow, and slipped
him a 20 out of sheer kind-heartedness.
Toor fellow, his gratitude
vas' most touching. He appre
ciated it so much he turned and
hurried away, leaving us standing
i . 15.. i An. rM, tnnnnse the tax
collector would allow me to knock
that off my income tax return? Not
on vour life,
"if . don't tet what we want
we'll strike. We'll turn honest.
We'll boycott the jail.?. Our strike
..;it ihmiD H'frv noliceman .n
There was a shout of approval in
tie South Side jail .which woke
Desk Sergeant Carter out of a deep
1 "Hurray for the Amalgamated
brotherhood of Crooks!" came the
rrti M-prv cell in the iail. and
Caotains Allen and
Briggs and their minions of the law
are daily adding to the brother
hood of the new organization,
...Seated Diner Smashes
Glass-Top Table In Cafe
Tom Bates, 318' North Sixteenth
street, was arrested by police early
this morning, charged with intoxica
tion and malicious destruction of
t property. .
Bates was arrested oncompiaint
of the manager of the Mon Yen Lo
cafe, 1508 Howard street, who
claimed that Bates, while drunk.
' came into the cafe and broke a glass
top table when he struck it with
his fist
---WUti ?7 motor vehicles. Senegal,
'West Africa, ranks higher in regis
vt'.ation than any other of die French i
word is exchanged. The senator
cAtUA i new nsp tn Lthe front norch
when he announced that he would
conduct his campaign on this van
tage point. He may sit on his porch,
in negligee, and meet the world and
his brother as thev come and go.
A presidential candidate hereafter
without a front porch will be like
the person who was all dressed up
with nowhere to go.
Omaha Has 'em. Too.
Omaha is enjoying its front porch
during these days when the house
wives are busy canning cherries
and their marital concomitants are
engaged in the outdoor sport ot
obtaining enough sugar to appease
In this era of the front porch one
may in fancy see Omaha enjoying
the evening rest period on its porch.
Mother anu lamer "
ate in convention assembled 1 a.
the keynoter of the ensemble, is
reading the political news, and ma,
the mild reservations, is scanning
her magazine. One of the young
sters is plaving on his kiddie cart
and another is wishing that pa
would relinquish the newspaper so
lhat he might read about Jiggs and
Maggie and the Uumps.
, Gallant Brings Saxophone.
Mary is off in a corner with her
beau, who brought his new saxo
phone. He may have received the
instrument from his father as a
birthday gift, or he may have saved
coupons. It does not make much
difference for the purposes of nar
rative how he received the instru
ment,' just so that he received it
honestly. Ma asks the young man if
ie. ran nlav "Dardanella." and pa re
marks that when he was a boy he
ms a humdinger as a moutn-orgau
layer, whereupon ma exclaims. "Oh,
mrrarlisM" Then the babv falls
over with his cart, the dog barks at
tU vnnlinn anrl ma announces
that she will read to pa a letter which
she received during tne nay irom a
sister who lives in California.
And then pleasant little neighborly
visits are exchanged on trout
porches. Mrs. So-And-bo skips over
to meet and greet the first lady of
the Leffingwell front porch, bringing
tidings of great joy and a lot of noise
about her new bathing suit, which
she describes with ecstacy.
With a Trade Last.
"I've got a trade last for you," the
neighbor exclaims, as she sticks her
chewing gum on a post.
"Do you know that you left your
basement light burning last night?"
Mrs. Leffingwell asks, giving Lef
fingwell a reproving glance for his
inattention.
The visitor tells about the tooth
which she had extracted by a dentist
ivhn said it would not hurt and .
did hurt so much that she thought
she was going to die. ;he ask) it
Mrs. Leffingwell had heard of the
new baby at the minister's house and
she tells how fond her husband is of
cherry pie.
Or Mr. Leffingwell may visit the
So-And-So porch and discuss with
his neighbor such timely town topics
as dark horses, white mules and
other zoological specimens.
An Inviting Haven.
Did vou ever take the missus and
the children for an outing, return
ing tired and dusty, and do you re-
mflmKcr now invitini? VOUT front
porch appeared as it loomed in the.
distance? And wnen you arrived
home from such an outing, did you
ever sit upon your porch and ex--uim
"C.pf it is trooH to be home
again?" Your porch on such an oc
casion was like the appearance of
the first glimpse ot lana to tne
weary sea .voyager fter a long
journey.
Tarry these days at the front
of A. V. Shotwell, county attorney,
and you will observe a proud parent
pacifying his fourth born, a miss who
but recently arrived upon tne scene.
And if ycu have the time and in
clination you may hear the prattle
of three other little Shotwells which
keep A. V. S. quite busy during his
front porch sessions.
On Other Porches.
Judge W. W. Slabaugh is enjoying
some of the evening hours on his
porch, ruminating over the vagaries
o( his new motor car. On his front
porch I. L. Webster will tell you
about "the tercentenary celebration of
the landing of the Pilgrims at Ply
mouth Rock, in which subject he is
much interested. Mayor Smith sold
hie front nnrrh a few months aBO,
but he is going to the mountains and
he says he will buy another porch
next fall.
"Let me build the front porches
for my country and I care not who
writes Iter plattorms, said an uma
ha patriot.
Nero watched a great conflagra
tion from his porch, where he enter
'aineH neichhorst with his 'fiddle
Governor McKelvie memorized
"Paul Revere's Ride, on his porch.
Betsy Ross was frequently observed
sewing on her porch. "Lips That
Touch Liquor Sha"U Never Touch
Mine," was written on a porch.
Rich Women Practice
Economy in England
Shops Are Suffering
London, July 3. Women of
means and good social position are
adically reducing their expendi
tures.
An exclusive restaurant, catering
only to the wealthy class, is said
t-, he runtime at a oss ot over
$3,000 per week through the falling
off in trade, and the flower shops
nre feeling the effects of the new
"economy."
"Women are ordering one gown
where thev used to order three,"
said a fashionable modiste. "I know
cf several cases where women who
formerly had a new gown for every
one of the days at Ascot are only
petting one. They will show off
the new gown the first day and on
the second day will wear cloaks to
hide the fact that they are wearing
the same gown again."
Commercial travelers have a tale
cf woe to tell, for they find that
orders are not coming in as lav
ishly as before at this time of the
year and many wealthy women are
making their own lingerie or hav
ing it made by a woman employed
by the day.
Rain and High Temperature
Promised Nejct Week
Washington, July 3. Weather
predictions for the week beginning
Monday are:
Upper Mississippi an:l lower Mis
souri valleys: Occasional local
showers probable until after mid
dle of the week, with temperature
averaging above normal; probably
fait latter portion.
Although coal exportation from
ccstern fields and coal diversion to
NVw England because of priority
orders have reduced to almost zero
the middle west's supply from !he
east, Omaha coal dealers aie of the
opinion that there will not he an
actual famine at this point during
the coming winter hecause ot tne
many different sources of he city's
simnl v.
Indications are for considerable
stringency, however, they point out,
brcause of the low prediction of
mines, due to transno-tation diffi
culties and because of the depletion
of surpluses because of -'the strike
last November.
Many Buy Early.
Retail dealers report that they are
disposing of what coal thev can
acquire to citizens layiny. in an early
supply. Wholesale dealers declare
that there is a market here for all
the coal they can get, or have pros
pects of getting.
Sources of supply for Omaha are
at present running far behind nor
mal, according to wholesalers. While
thi average nroduction is about 33
per cent of normal for the entire
country, it is actually much less in
the Illinois. Iowa. Kansas and Mis
souri fields, where much of this
city's supply of coft coal is mined.
Transportation Is Problem.
Many mines in these regions' arc
riinninrr nnlv a few hours, a daV.
wholesale coal dealers say. The prob- j
lem lacing mine owners is trans
portation, they point out. Interstate !
Commerce commission orders di- ;
verting open top cars to coal dis- j
tribution has had some effect on the j
situation, they believe. !
A serious situation has developed j
out of the. priority given New Eng- j
land in the matter of eastern coal, j
j Virginia, West Virginia and Penn-1
sylvauia coal is being exported. With
that supply denied eastern industry,
almost all" of the Pennsylvania coal
is held on the Atlantic seaboard.
For that reason there has been very
little movement from these fields
west.
, Exportation Serious.
Coal exportation through Hamp
ton K'oarl is rparhiiur serious pro
portions that are rendered stiii more
worthy of notice bcaitse it is peing
done in English ships by English
companies, according to information
in Omaha.
I V Davidson crneral manascr
of the Nebraska Power Co., a mem
ber of the United States fuel com
mittee, is in favor of stopping coal
exportation and diverting all pro
duced in this country to home use,
until the present crisis is past and
sound conditions of supply have re
turned. Running at Full Capacity.
Of the fields supplying Omaha
these in Wyoming are the only ones
running at capacity, according to
dealers. This is made possible, they
say, by the transportation 'urnished
b the Union 4'acific ra;lroad Ac
cording to William Guild, assistant
(miral lAanaoer of the mad. 400
cars are moved daily from VVyoming
fields. About half ot the cc.al is tor
the railroad, from its own mines,
and the remainder is for commer
cial purposes.
This coal is almost entirely con
sumed in Wyoming aiul Nebraska,
Mr. Guild said. Omaha ' as become
a good market for this coal hecause
of the reliability of supply, and
about 40 cars a day are received
here.
Shipments Given Preference.
Coal shipments are given the right
of way and no cars are a'lowed to
stand either full or empty. Diver
sion of cars from this region to the
Thos. Cotter Retires
After 26 Years With
Telephone Company '
Thomas Cotter has retired from
the service of the American. Bell
and Nebraska Telephone companies,
alter 26 years' lefvice,
Mr. Cotter has entered the gen
eral insurance business an'! will he
associated with Byrne Bros, in the
City National Bank building. Hi
wili specialize in surety bonds, par
ticularly with regard to mercantile
establishments, but will also write
all lines of fire and casualty insur
ance. At the time of his retirement (row
the telephone business Mr. Cotter
was engineer in charge of construc
tion of long distance lines. He came
to Omaha about 20 yea's ago from
Boston, where he had bee.i engaged
in the telephone business for about
six years
Irwin St. John Tucker
To Speak Here Tuesday
St. Tohn Tucker, candidate
for congressman in Illinois on the
socialist ticket, will speak at the
teamsters' hall Tuesday evening
and will speak in the Lyric build
ing Wednesday.
Mr. Tucker is traveling under the
auspices of the socialist party. He
was sentenced to 10 years in the
federal penitentiary for writing an
article, "The Trfce We Pay." but
appealed his case, and trial will
soon be in the supreme court
Illinois and Iowa fields, in .'fleet for
about three weeks, may have a no
ticeable effect on the supply in the
middle west in a short t!me railroad
men believe.
HAIL INSURANCE MEN
you can profitably turn your attention to Liv Stock
Insurance now that the hail writing season is over!
Hundreds of farmers need our protection on their hog, horae
and cattle. Why not get your share of this business? We offer
you exceptional opportunity selling our old line mortality policlea
on liberal commission basis. Write, wire or phone for agency
application blank and particulars. Splendid territory open.
American Live Stock Insurance Co.
300-306 Finance Bldg. Omaha, Nebra.W
Frr
I 1
Animal
Mid-Slimmer r
Sale
v
Starling
Tuesday
July 6th
SHIRTS
$2,15 each or 3 for $ 6.00
$2.65 each or 3 for 7.00
$3.15 each or 3 for 9.00
$3.55 each or 3 for 10.00
$165 each or 3 for 13.50
$3.95 each or 3 for 11.00
$6.15 eacti or 3 for 18.00
Silk Shirts
$6.85 each or 3 for $20.00
$7.45 each or 3 for 22.00
$8.65 each or 3 for 25.00
$9.85 each or 3 for 28.00
I
HOSE
Silk, dlk fibre and silk
faced, a pair. . 75
One lot Lisle Hose at,
pair 50
UNDERWEAR
Union Suits, only
$1.65, $2.15, $2.75
Pine glove silk, knee
. length $7.25
NECKWEAR
Half Price, including a big line
of Knit Ties.
CHARLES E. BLACK
Exclusive
Haberdasher
U17 FARNAM STREET
Phone
Douglas 250
li
mw 20
cr1
jo
m
205'
m
Come to Council
Bluffs and Save
ON GOOD
FURNITURE
OUR SEMI-ANNUAL
Discount Sale Starts Tuesday
This Discount will affect every Piece of FURNITURE,
RUGS, ALL DRAPERIES and HOME FURNISHINGS
with the exception of only a few pieces of Berkey and Gay furniture, Chambers ranges,
Hoosier cabinets and the Phonograph Department
Sale Will Last for One Week Only, So Hurry!
Furniture prices are still up. There has been no reduction of manufacturers' prices and
we do not expect any for some time. Conditions will not permit this to come about, as
they are at present. The market in Grand Rapids is now going on and wholesale prices
are higher than they were in the market of January of this year, so this sale is not for the
reason that prices have broken, but it has always been our custom to hold this great
July event, and we are not going to disappoint our thousands of customers, but the time
is limited to only one week of this 20 discount, so come and save.
All Prices Are. Marked in Plain Figures
Come in and figure off the discount yourself.
Remember the sale starts Tuesday, July 6th
The largest selection
of Homefurnishings in
Southwestern Iowa.
rfZJifenk
Make selections now
for Future Delivery if
you wish.
illl!llliKiiiiiM!S
Opposite "Grand Hotel-Council Bluffs Iowa
j
:;E$Kli!iii;i!:iiiiM
