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THE BEE: . OMAHA, TUESDAY, .JUNE 1, lQZv.
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1
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The Omaha Bee
DAILY (MORNING) EVENING SUNDAY
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The Bee's Platform
1. Nw Union Paisnfr SUtie.
X. A Pip Lin from th Wyoming
neias to umaba.
9. Continued improvement of th No
braska Highways, including th pava
nnt of Main Thoroughfares leading
into Omaha with a Brick Surface.
4. A short, low-rat Waterway from the
Cora Bolt to th Atlantic Ocean.
6. Horn Rtil Charter for Omaha, with
City Manager form of Govrnrant.
SENATE QUIZ ON PRIMARY EXPENSES.
The inquiry of the senate into pre-convention
expenditure for presidential candidacies is dis
turbing.' It has demonstrated that under the
direct primary system of electing district dele
fates the legitimate expenses of a campaign for
S presidential nomination hai been prodigiously
increased. This expenditure takes no account
- of the enormous costs of 'the primaries to the
taxpayers of the several states in which they
ire held. In one city alone (Chicago) the pres-
, idential preference primary election cost the
tU $330,000. Thus it appears beyond dispute
that the, primary system inaugurated to. put a
top to, or at least check upon the corrupt use
of. money in nominating candidates, has so in
creased voluntary expenditures for organiza
tion and publicity, that the amounts themselves
have caused criticism. At the ante time the
pubjicexpense of making legal nominations now
approximates that of the elections which follow.
' The use of large sums of money to promote
candidacies has always been offensive to the
people. . Even when it appears impossible for
candidates to build up organizations and ac
complish results without the use of large sums,
the. people do not like it. The dollar mark con--apieuous
in a campaign is unpleasant; while the
Odiotrs comparison of amounts used with re
sults accomplished by the several candidates,
fives a financial aspect to pre-convention con
tests far from reassuring to the general run of
voters unfamiliar with' large sums of money.
.' Another phase of the matter is that the sys
tem practically puts poor men out of the run
ning unless rich men contribute to a fund for
Jjiem, and that also is unwelcome information
""to the public or that part of the public which
txaggerates the potency of rnoney in politics.
1 Under the direct primary ands presidential
: system of electing national convention delegates,
candidates of all parties. are put on an adver
tising basis. The candidate whose friend buy
publicity by the page attracts more attention
than the one whose resources limit him to a
few inches. It is at this point that the people
inclinfto think money counts too much in pre
convention rivalries. But even so the corrupt
practices of years gone by are not even re
motely suggested. The resentment seems to be
inspired not by any unlawful use of money, but
by the large totals spent for legitimate pur
poses and the consequent elimjnatjon of those
who are financially unable to meet their com
petitors in expenditures. ' But the blame should
rest where ' it belongs on the system rather
' than the candidates.
A Progressive Judge in Ohio.
Several years ago Ohio eleetedto a position
on the state's supreme bench a man of progres
sive judicial ideas. Almost immediately after
his service began Judge Wanamaker was in
conflict -with his colleagues on the bench on a
number of matters. , He opposed, long-winded
arguments by lawyers, showed contempt fof
technicalities, and fought the delays and ex
penses of the courts. When he was elected the
supreme court was years behind with its work,
and taking the usual four or five months vaca-
' tions common to the higher courts. He pro
posed publicly that the court continue working
right through the summer months until ' its
docket was cleared. Naturally this was highly
- displeasing to a state judiciary highly trained in
the art of deliberation and long periods of rest
and recreation. But the docket was cleared.
When his term drew near its close he was
gain nominated and elected by the republicans
with an enthusiasm seldom observed over ju
dicial candidacies, and is now serving his second
term'. Last week Judge Wanamaker announced
his candidacy for United States senator to suc
ceed Harding, Ohio's presidential candidate,
thereby creating an embarrassing situation be
cause Senator Harding is just closing his first
term and desires a second in case he is not
nominated for the presidency. Judge Wana
maker' announcement makes plain his intention
to fight for reducing the volume of talk, the
technicalities, the delays and the expenses now
habitual in the senate, if chosen to represent
Ohio in that body, Ohio Is to be a busy state,
politically, in this year of our Lord.
would in 1914. But in another four years, if
saved, their purchasing power will be doubled.
Thus the young man of 1920 may get interest on
his savings, while they ste doubling in value.
It is s wonderful opportunity to make life
doubly worth living, and will yield a dividend
of contentment also.
I Utilising the Water Power.
A twelve-year contest before congress is
about to corns to an end with the passage of
tht water-power bill. In the time between the
proposal of the measure, which . wasv an out
growth of the move for conservation of national
resources, commenced while Roosevelt was
president, it has been thoroughly discussed,
amended and considered by conference commit
tees, until now it may be accepted as having
reached s form whi$h will not only safeguard
publie interests but attract capital to the de
velopment of various projects. While the enact
ment of the measure has been thus delayed, va
rious changes have taken place which will give
an even greater 'service to the water power.
Unless the force of the water is used close
to the spot where it is available, only one
means of transporting it is known by electric
ity. The generation of the current is a simple
enough matter. How to get th'e power to the
distant point for consumption is the 'real prob
lem, and it is knotty enough. Electricity is car
ried over considerable distances now, up to sev
eral hundred miles, but only at considerable ex
pense. No transmission has yet been discovered
which will prevent a considerable loss of cur
rent by "leakage," while the tremendous voltage
that must be employed in order to pass any
great quantity of electricity over a wire for a
great distance adds an clement of dangerous
uncertainty to the operation. This has pre
vented the utilization of much water power in
regions remote from centers where the current
might be available if it could be delivered.
Franklin K. Lane's adjuration to eastern
centers of industry that they must proceed with
celerity to the development of all water power
possible in order that they be not outstripped
by western communities to'.which the supply is
now opened may be well timed. It may be ques
tioned though, if any immediate shift is likely in
the industrial balance. The water powers of
the west will be utilized, however, for the Mil
waukee railroad has shown how the fuel factor
in the railway problem may be met by harness
ing mountain streams, and other roads may be
looked to for equal enterprise.
The time may come when , Omaha will draw
mosfof its power from the rivers that run4past
its doors. Other problems that government
consent must be solved, however, before this can
be brought to pass.
A line 0 Type or Two
Hm to th list, M th les tall waers tkr but.
NOW that the garden has really got s move
on it, you ought to know that Mr. Weedy is
general manager of the Salzer Seed Co. of La
1. Crosse.
v Tn Lucky m re ten. ...
Sir: Standing on th threshold of life's back
yard, trying to determine whether I will classify
with the ashes or the garbage when the Inevita
ble wagon gathers me in, I am looking forward
to having a, lot of time on my hands. Give me a
list of some of the book which in your esteem
take precedence over the Ibanes quartette. Min'
ye, as Harry Lauder says, I agree with you that
"The Tour Hosemen" is not so good 'writing or
readinr aa Ibanea's Mexican letters. But I
really desire your list of worth-while books. Dr.
Eliot's book-shelf is too narrow for its length:
I think yours would be shorter and broader.
P S. Kindly omit Conrad I've had him
and recovered. J. U. H.
LUCKY, we mean, in that he has so much
time to read; not because he has had Conrad
and recovered.
SUGGESTION ' FOR , DUE, "THE SMOKE
GOES UP THE CHIMNEY JUST THE SAME."
Sir:. In his "Recollections," David Bispham
says: "President Woodrow Wilson is devoted
to music, and is something of a singer himself.
with a tenor voice of considerable power and
sweetness. Since Mexico's provisional president
is also a tenor, may we not, in the next diplo
matic exchange, hope they will say it with
songs?
WE wonder what Davie means by "devoted
to -music." We know many people devoted to
music whose taste is Well, my dearl What
kind of music does he like, Davie? ,
A Busy Day. In Manteno.
(From the Kankakee Republican.).
It rained since yesterday evening and we '
would have been better off without that
rain as it was not needed but whether or
not needed it came and we had to take it.
Farmers are looking for nice warm weather
from this time on.
This Concerns Nebraska.
The meeting today in connection" with the
lakes-to-ocean deep water way should have the
attention of every citizen oi Nebraska. All can
not assemble at the Chamber of Commerce, but
all can give heed to the proceedings there , had,
and intelligently follow the course of tlie work
to its completion. The plan simply stated is
to provide the shortest possible route from the
fields of the great food producing central valley
of the United States to deep water. This is to
be done by making the Great Lakes atd the St.
Lawrence river ocean commerce carriers. What
advantage will come to Nebraska, for example,
is obvious. Anything that lessens the cost of
carriage to market adds to the producer's sett
ing price, other things being equal. When the
Panama canal was dig, it was given hearty
support by the Middle West, although the bene
fit derived by this section has been indirect and
relative only. The present project will cost less
in actual cash, and be of untold immediate value
even to the region whose prosperity depends
finally on its ability to get its products to tide
water. Therefore, the preliminary meeting at
the Omaha Charr&er of Commerce today is of
utmost interest to.the public.
: , Savers Enjoy Life Most
Industry, attention to business or the job,
mixed with thrift, never counted for more than
they have in recent years and do'fcow. Many a
fine start has been made toward permanent suc
cess and comfort, and may yet be made.. While
the thoughtless, pleasing seeking crowd enjoys
itself throwing to the birds easy money, the
thrifty minority are enjoying themselves more
in the satisfactory and strengthening business of
saving every dollar not needed for necessities.
. Saving puts anxiety to flight, fives con
fidence in the future, and builds character. It
is a form of self-denial He who can and does
resist desires better left unsatisfied inevitably
f rows strong. He acquires a dignity, self-control
and forward looking habit that lifts him
above the weak and foolish spenders who regard
money as something to bum. "
- There is a doable incentive to save in these
days of ths 50-eent dollar. Two dollars may be
earned and saved now as easily as one was six
'tars ago; ani if spen.1, buy ojUy hajf what tfcey
Mere Language Not "Americanization."
A demonstration of much interest is to be
given in Washington this week, when 32 foreign-born
soldiers from Camp Uptorr wilr
show the progress they have made in
acquiring ur'language in six months. We hope
they sre all proficient, not only in the use of the
language as employed in the military service of
the country, but' that they have acquired uf
ficieht knowledge of the vernacular to make
their way 'any place. But this is not all there is
of Americanization. It is not enough to speak,
read and write the language. These men and
all others situated like them must be taught to
think in terms of the true American. We are
accustomed to speaking Joosely of imparting
our" national ideas and ideals to the foreign
born in short and easy-courses. Frequently the
attempt has a reverse effect. Intelligent aliens
come here usually with exalted notions of what
America offers them. They are disillusioned by
early experience, the laxity and indifference of
the native-born or naturalized citizens being
euch as to disturb if not destroy the most vital
element of citizenship, that ofrespect for the
law. We will make better Americans out of
those who seek ouf gates if we set them a better
example than usually is done.
; What a Strange Ideal
Geraldine Farrar, as an artistic portrayer of
the divine emotion, is disconsolate because of
an unhappy belief. She say:, "
Representative young men or women,
ither on the stage or off, cannot make love
because they have not the souls. They lack
the souls for love making, because they have
not been trained to soul responsiveness..
Comedy, light farce yes; but the deeper emo
tionthe soul that can hear the call of pas
sionthey lack. v ;
Perhaps this erroneous notion of a very
charming woman who has yielded for life to the
love making of so gallant and accomplished a
wooer either . on or off the 'stage as Lou
Tellegen, may be fojgivenso poor an estimate
of the talent of our( young men and women.
But la! lal lady; you never was more mis
taken in your life.
American tourists are looked to by Europe
to supply the gap left when the A. E. F. re
turned. If they can't get it from us one way,
they will in another.
Chicago is assuming proportions of the cen
ter of the universe, for the next president is
soon to be named there.
Nebraska has lost some crops for lack - of
rain, but never because of too much.
We will soon find out how to curthe'olc
world's illsi " This is graduation time. I
Here come the perfect days anji bride
"HOW," hows A. H. C, "do you tell what
books are worth reading before you have reatf
them?" It's a gift.
WHAT'S THE MATTER? WHAT'S THE
MATTER? WHAT'S THE MATTER?
. (From Hearst's for June.) .
"O my God! O my God!" she sobbed. O
my God! O my God! O my God!"
, "Monna," he said. "Monna! Little
Monna! Monna!" . -
AS many know who listened to Cesar
Franck's VBeautitudes," the composer never en
joyed the pleasure of hearing his work sung.
However, he had a pretty fair notion of how it
ought to go. "How did it sound, Papa?" he
was asked when he returned home after con
ducting his Symphony. "Oh, just as I ex
pected," said he.
, . Hotel Art.
Sir: It is not always satisfactory, this turn
ing hotel bedroom pictures face to the wall. .1
tried it once, at a email hotel, my room being
smaller than the hotel. The picture was Pish,
sitting on the bank. 'looking Into the pool, and
she was warped and had been printed in colors
and hung across from the foot of my bed, and
there was not a spot in the roonufrom which
she was not visible. She was the only picture
there, and finally got on my nerves. So I turned
her face to the wall.-and on the back I found
this legend: "Isn't this a hell of a picture?" I
flopped her back, and the first opportunity I
asked the housekeeper If she could not exchange
nsn ror some male subject, me being an
anchorite and not caring for . female society,
especially warped female society. And Pish was
taken away, and I was brought a small boy,
wearing nothing but a blue sash, and carrying
a bow and arrow. I aeked for no further ex
changes, fearing that I might get "The Storm,"
showing Paul and Virginia fleeing through the
woods. , GUILLAUME LE JEUNE.
How to Keep Well
By Dr. W. A. EVANS
CjoMtlont concerning hytta. tanl-Xl
WHufl win finvDiiuu mt uinwii vuv-
mltteS la Dr. Brans by reader of The
Bm, will be answered panoaaUy, (ab
ject to proper limitation, where
tamped, addrewed envelop is
rioted. Dr. Evan wlU not malt
diagnosis or nreeorib for Individual
diseases. - Address letters la ear f
The Be.
' Copyright, IttS, br Dr. W. A. Evans,
DROP IN AT THE ACADEMY, GAZELLA.
(From the Lincoln Courier Herald.)
Misses Gazella Gaydcsh and Bervol
Schull expect to go to Indianapolis. Satur-'
day, where they will visit with relatives of -l
Miss Schull and attend the races on Decora
tlon day... , ' ' , .
WE see by the Law Bulletin that Edward;
Fred, and Peter Hell pray that their names may
be changed to Edward! Fred and Peter Hall.
Possibly Ole Nick of Halsted street would like
to get in on the petition.
DO SPIRITS RETURN? TRY OUR SHORT
CAKE AND BE CONVINCED.
(From the Detroit Journal.)
Do spirits return? Hear Detroit's gifted
medium, Corinne Clark, speak in dead
trance and give messages. Re convinced
that spiritualism is a truth. Tonight from
Bso'elock the ladies will serve strawberry
shortcake and messages. Everybody wel- ,
come. - -
CONRAD'S latest, bv the wav. is like most
of his yarns." One gets under way with a spank
ing breeze, and one expects to make port before
midnight; but suddenly the wind drops, and the
yarn loses steerage way, and the only sound on
the sea is Cap'n Conrad droning a few thousand
words about something or other one gets too
sleepy to care what. .. ..
A Glut of Reason and a Cataract of Soul.
. (From the Wooster, O., Voice.) ,
The best ensemble effect of their wh'ole -year
was produced last Thursday night when ..
the Girls' Glee club, augmented by a chorus
of thirty men, gathered in perfect harmony
around the banquet table at the American
house. The girls presented the expected
esthetic touch in their vivid gowns set off
by beautlfirt corsages, while the men showed
off stunningly in the customary black and
white. Isabella McClement, who was the .
manager this year, pr.esided as- toastmls
tress and Introduced ''Tex" Ervin, Ruth
Hunter "Pat" White, and Mr. Burtt, who
seasoned the evening's enjoyment with
spices of wit - and frankincense of deep
thought. , s
PRESIDENT WILSON assumes, or infers.
that human nature in the United States is less
selfish than on the other side of the ocean. But
is it?
, SHAKY. . t
Sir: Doc Bean's patient has nothing on the
quaint old soul for whom I am making ar set
of store teeth. She has been very ill, it seems.
and remains "porly.," Her hand shakes and
trembles so that she cannot keep her victuals
on her knife at all, hence she must make use pi
a spoon. ' ,4 MOOGAR.
WE DIDN'T TURN THE PAGE.
(From the New, Vork Tribune.)
Pres. Desehanel showed no effects of ,
the adventure except scratches on his
(Continued on next page.)
, "THE public should be left out of the issue
in dealing with the railroad problem." says the
President of the Order of Railway Conductors.
This should amuse the public.
"How Doth," Etc
v .f , (Yakima, Wash., item.)
Triplets, two girls and a boy, all healthy
and pronounced likely to live, were born
Sunday night to Mr. and Mrs. O. Busy. The
parents already have four children.
; A FRESH OISEAU.
Sir: Said the woman bookkeeper to the fresh
young man applying for a job. "Can you do bill
ing?'; "Yes," sezze, "and cooing, too!"
.-. G. HELPUS...
. THAT OUGHT TO- RELIEVE HIM.
(From the Minneapolis Journal.)
Hollie Pite, a young farmer, Is in a hospital
at Brockton, Mont.,, being run over by a 1,400
pound ground packer. . ,
TO issue and mail a letter to every voter in
the country" would cost $1,500,000, says Gen.
Wood. Now, if we knew the percentage which
reads campaign letters, We could estimate the
waste of time and money. B. L. T.
Even Hobson Shunned Maoris.
A Maori woman in Jlew Zealand tried to
kiss the Prince of Wales, but he dodged. The
boy's too young to remember Hobson, hut he
has no doubt read history, Cleveland Plain
MYXOEDEMA. ' x
If a person is over stimulated by
thyroid secretion he la nervous, ex
cited and irritable. His brain Works
faster than the other fellows. He
may take credit to himself for ex
ceptional mental alertness, when, as
a matter of fact, he is full of thyroid
secretion and he could not be
mentally slow If he tried.
But the story today is about too
little thyroid the other end of the
line, if the deficiency Is not great,
we say the man is slow, or lethargic,
or bovine, or placid. If It is beyond
this limit we say th individual
has myxoedema. If It developed
early and affected growth of the
body as well as mind we say the
individual is a cretin.
In myxoedema there is a moderate
deficiency of thyroid secretion. Since
mere is no tnyroia tube or duct ana
no way of collecting the secretion
and measuring it we must judge of
the deficiency by indirect signs. Th
sign on which physicians, and espe
cially those connected with hospital
laboratories, are now placing much
stress is a slow rate of metabolism.
Laboratory tests show that a per
son with myxoedema does not burn
up mucn rood. , ti may not eat
much and what he eats goes largely
to fat. He is slow and quiet phys
ically and his muscles do not burn
up much food material. s
There are some signs of myxoe
dema which are more easily noted.
The skin is thick and the face seems
to be swollen. The patient seems to
be dropsical, but there is nb pitting
and no other sign of dropsy.
Calluses form on the feet. The
hair becomes coarse, breaks easily,
and falls out. Bodily movements are
slow, speech becomes thick and
slow. The patient loses Interest In
things, sleeps long hours and drops
to sleep easily.
In some cases the condition Is
rather temporary and self-limited,
but that Is very much the exception.
The rule is that the myxoedema
does not improve until the condi
tions are mad right The way to
make them right is to ' supply the
needed amount of thyroid.
In a recent number of the British
Medical Journal Dr. Murray fur
nishes the final chapter in the life
history of a case of myxoedema
which was flrstTeported in 1891. At
that date the woman, 46 years of
age, had suffered from myxoedema
for five years. Life seemed to hold
nothing for her except a few years
of stolid existence.
She died in 1919. having reached
the good age of 74,N after enjoying
good health for more than 2S years.
She had been as bright and active
and had got as much out of life aa
the average person with whom she
was associated. However, she never
had been able to stop taking
thyroid. It was calculated that in 28
years she had consumed the thyroid
product of 870 sheep. But, being
faithful, she came happily through
to a ripe old age.
May Have Pyorrhea. .
R. writes: "1. I have heard that
gold , crowns on the teeth were, in
jurious to the health. Is this trtie?
"2. I (have Had 14 gold crowns
for three years, and have had a
slimy mouth ever since about three
months after they were put in. What
causes thi&2 .
"3. The teeth were all sound at
the time I had they crowns put on,
but were badly worn off. The gums
have left the teeth now. Would you
advise removal of these crowns?"
REPLY. !
1. No.
2. If vour srums have left vour
teeth, you ' probably have Nearly
pyorrhea. If so, have it treated
without delay. .
3. No:
Probably Has Ringworm.
C. C. W. writes: "My boy has a
spot on his head where the hair has
come out We discovered it when it
Was about the size of a 5 cent piece.
but it hae increased to the size of a
silver dollar and perfectly round.
Have been using remedies, but has
shown no improvement as yet"
REPLY. '
The probability is that the trouble
is due to ringjyorm. Ringworm of
the scalp is not easily-cured. Have)
a physician !' diagnose Detween
alopecia areata and ringworm. If the
case is ringworm he may be able to
pull out the diseased hairs, shave
thr scalp and cure the disease with
ordinary ringworm remedies.
Nicker Plate Road
Important Change of Time
JUNE 6
Train Nb. 2
Leaves Chicago. 10:85 a. m. dally
for Ft Wayne, Cleveland, Erie, Buf
falo and New York City. Through
V Sleepers and Coaches.
No, 4 Day Train to Cleveland
Leaves Chicago :05 a. m.
daily.
No. 6
Leaves Chicago 8:85 p. m. daily
has through sleepers and coaches to
Cleveland and Buffalo.
DINING CAR SERVICE'
For full information writs
v J. DEASE, D. T. A.,
218 Ry. Exchange,
Kansas City, Mo.
Guess How We
Clean Rugs So
Beautifully!
We wash 'em just wash
'em with SOAP "Ivory"
Soap, to be more exact
But we are SURE that
ALL of soap is extracted
when the Rug is clean,
else the Rug would rot.
PHONE TYLER 345
DRESHER
BROTHERS
DYERS CLEANERS
221 1-17 Farnam St r
Sympathy for William WUkenlng.
Omaha, May 89. To the Editor
of Th Bee: I want to express my
most sincere sympathy for William
J. WUkenlng In th trouble that has
com upon him in th last few
weeks. I have known him quite in
timately for a few years, have don
business for him and have had some
quite important matters of business
thrown Into my hands by Mr. WU
kenlng without any request or re
ward on my part, and in all my
dealings with him I have found him
to be strictly honest and upright In
very way.'
I am sorry to see this young man
in imminent danger of being sent
to the penitentiary for this one mis
step of his, and sincerely hope that
som way may be found to avoid
sending him there, for he can be far
more -uaefuh.to the general public
outside th bara than inside. I do
not believe he is at heart a criminal
And believe that his trouble camo
upon him because, of the lack of
stamina at the right time. His wife
is a most estimable woman and so
ore other of" his relatives,, and it
looks too bad that he should be
placed where it will causehis peo
ple much sorrow and grief.
There have been worse criminals
released from 'the Nebraska peniten
tiary in the last few years than Wil
liam J. Wilkenlng would be in 100
years. I recommended Mr. Wilken
lng to a position on the Omaha po
lice force at his request and 'very
cheerfully gave my recommenda
tion because of my personal experi
ences with him in a business and
personal way. I would trust Wil
liam J Wilkenlng with any amount
of money, if necessary, and would
rest assured that he would honestly
account for every cent of it.
So I hope that some way will be
found to avoid punishing him too se
verely for his lack of good judgment
and not from any inherent personal
criminal intent.
FRANK A. AGNEW. -
Lesson From a Lunatic.
Omaha, May 29. To the Editor of
The Bee: That was a fine little play
made by a lunatic to teach his bet
ters common sense. The press is
teeming with calamity and high cost
Of living and here a poor, demented
cypher leaves .a luxurious home,
where there's nothing.to bother him
and searches a home out where the
owner doesn't seem to appreciate it.
and goes to work to show what-it
would ,be worse than useless for him
to say that the solution of the prob
lem is to make the earth yield its
strength, and having also his handi
cap he registers his claim to the
ground with a document bearing na
ture's signature.
It is said spoken words index the
heart as the individual of the species
indexes his race. Today nothing but
a bolt from the blue will startle any
body. The Titanic startled more
people who were beyond its horizon
than the whole war. We must make
the exhausted earth give up another
huge crop no feed the people, but
the unlucky wight who leaves the
insane asylum or one who never was
crazy but who even hints that it was
well to do something for the earth
that feeds him is a joke that would
ring forever. LutheiBurbank would
ran to see me point, dul me movies
will sure milk the subject dry and
it's well they should, for they are
running an expensive institution and
some of the high salaried ones be
come burdensome.
We all like to call each other rob
bers and thieves, but if we wasn't all
robbing old Mother Earth without
pity she might be able to pity some
of her ungrateful offspring.
D. HOLADAY.
Llf,e In the Jungles.
Most' of us thought that life in
the African Jungle was not disturbed
by old H. C. L., but while clothing
and food may be cheap down there,
the prices of wives has been dou
bled, Indianapolis Star.
Lost In the Wilderness.
Senator Underwood is now leader
of the senate minority, with nothing
more serious. to take up hi mind
than deciding where to lead it
Kansas City Star.
MOMENTS OF MIRTH.
Fd Is that your dog growling sot
Greene It sure is.
Rail Whst'a ha crowllst about t
Greene Becstue meat la so high.-.
Toukers Statesman.
Irate Husband Whet! Eighty jSoliars
'"complacent Wife Whst's HOT ThtnK
what I saved you on your income tlx!-
Boston Globe. 1
"Smith Is very proud of his looks,
Isn't heT" asked Brown.
"Yes," agreed Jones. "He has more
gold In his teeth than he has in the
bank." Edinburgh Scotsman.
, "Do you think it pays to play golf?'
Inquired the always prsottcal man.
''I do." replied Mr.- Walloper. "Twu
hours of golf provides a man with ma
terial for conversation that will lajt
several weeks." Washington Star.
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