I y mr " m J, - . ,,.m,immmtmwmMmrmH., . .1-' ' r,.,t.-.h,.. ,-.j..rJi,-',,ln,la;T.-.T ,,;,-), j iimfl.,', -n, ft ,, A ., V.4.- a -,n n in nil mil III l i'.""l."UIWJi
Tife Omaha Sunday Beb
OMAHA, SUNDAY MORNING, MARCH 7, 1920.
Mrs. -Leffingwell Has Her
- Qwh Ideas About" Exercise
. v ' rt 1
Psychic Research, Aided by Henry, jGives Her a Shock
'She's Not Interested in How to Live to Be 100
" Years Old Household Duties ComV First. ,
By A. R. GROH.
' The large, stout woman with two
big diamonds on her third finger
made a lew passes above the little
square table which suddenly took a
leap across the, stage. V
"Did anybody,see it mave?i she
asked the audience. ,
."Yes. you bet I saw it move, I
... v'.gaw vou kick it with .vour foot."
, "; exclaimed a reporter who had ac--cepted
the invitation to eo udoh
"the stage and watch the demonstra
tion ot the mediums in a large pub
lie place in Omaha Jast week.
lue investigation he mace in an
honest, quest for some real demon
strations! of real superhuman forces
,in Omaha brought forth nothing
- convincing, but several things that
J looked suspiciqusjy like trickeryN
f Omahans Greatly Interested.'
The investigation proved .that a
greater ritjmber of people in Omaha
are interested in the possibility ot
communicatioii with the dead than
". ever before. The mediums are "rush
A ed" with work. It is a profitable busi
; nesi . too. This is proved by the
. handsome homes in which many ot
i 'these people live and the costly
jewels which they wear. '
" There is. however, an air of sin
I cerity in tneir speech which would
have been convincing to the investi
.1 gator if , it had been backed up by
( any evidences fi superhuman pow
er. They seerii to believe sincerely.
1 -But evirttaces were lacking. En
gagemcrits to demonstrate - their
. powir were not kept. And the grahi
mar of their speech in some cases
1' .
PaKfW Al'v.
1 big diamonds on her third finger Kiiowieage. 1 v. V2 Ar -s - 7 .Mrf ......
i leap across the Stage. , V 10 mem 1 mc reporter u uucj !-Sl.mUlUllAU lftll,AWML. SILV11. V
s . Aai.j iii a -.. 1 111 1 'I . a. a r.. 1 rv 1 a zjm 1 11 11 v mill m nini 1 m 11 1 mi mmm 11 w j 11 r w mr mm m m 1 r 1
. ' Yes. voii bet I saw it move, I ''My 0 has'S deadf 2AT VmmWljSS -3
Bouauet
-Uster.Be, Says Uncle Dave
vt ; 1 : '." .
. IJuminates Over Squabbles Back in 1896, WhenFree
1 i Coinage of Silver Made League of Nations Scrap
Mere Bush League Stuff. -
"Politics ain't what they ustcr be."
i A broad-shouldered man, his hat
cocked over one ear, and without
. doubt a chip on his shoulder, banged
Open' the door of Otto Meyer's bar
ber shop-the other morning, glared
at the line of waiting-customers and
bawled out: " .
r "To hell with the league of na
tions." f
He stuck out his chest. There
was no doubt of lrrs challenge. ; .
But he didn't get a ripple. So he
boomed out the challenge again' in
louder tones. ' Nothing doing. '- All
yes were glued to newspapers. . I
- The boss barber looked around,
and spoke up: u -
" "Come in, "Bill, and set down;
only sbf ahead of you." v .
'('But Bill didn't : ';ome in." He
seemed, Ha a hurry, and, giving the
j crowd 'a disdainful 'once over, he
slammed the door and let
A gray-haired farmer, waiting his
turn in the , line, slowly twisted a
piece of newspaper, stuck it 'in the
; tove, Ht his pipe, and sighed. The
gang called him Uncle Dave. '
"Time was," ruminated Uncle.
Dave, jSwhtn some fellow would
have htt that chap with a club for
', airing his political views "sci promis--ciously.
'Member baick in '96, when
we all got to shouting over the free
and independent coinage of silver
; at the ratio- of 16 to l? Them was
the good old times fight n every
mfaHorseyCnethe
GashierJ 1 ojesse c James
Had One,' Replied Boegh
-No.dne likes to eat abetter than
, Hani Boetfi, hay pounder on the
' police .force. He admits it Ask
him. But he dislikes paying the
. price of a caviar for "ahem" sand
wich.", T'other day he ate a" calves
tiver ' sandwich and some malted
goulash at a soda fountain on Har
' ney street. Nothin' unusual in that,
he says. .The pert sbdy" clerjc.is
sued him a t ashler's check for some-
' tiling between 74 and 91 cents, the
.lr tax plainly visible, Hans bel-
''tewed.;:-.. '-- .
"Thank you, str,H the blonde
"asiier 'jnurked. .t . r I
; li'ans tumbled some with pennies,
thee growled: "Ya oughta say
nhank yaly But I don't see your
norse." - . ' ' -1
"My horse? -Why that?: tTfe at"
cotjd haired cashier exclaimed.
-Jesse James had one,"said he
with a. nn, and sauntere'd out. ,.
was hot such as to suggest Jbat they
were possessed of . superhumau
knowledge. -s '. I ' '
"Can you actually see the spirits
of people who jare dead and talk
to them?" the reporter asked one
well-known medium. , ' .,
' "Why, most certainly," he Said.
"My mother who has been dead for
years comes and sits and tall.., toJ
me just as 1 anr-taiKing to you.
"We don't see the Spirits ihern
selves," he explained .then, " Wejjec
the astral body. It's clothed" ia
clothes' just like the person wore
only they're kind of a gauzy mater
ial. Its the astral body. n.
Many of the mediums have aS'
sumed the titles of "Dr." and "Rev."
Great Minds Speculate.
All of this does not demonstrate
that there is nothing in spiritualism,
as reasoned out and demonstrated
bv such men as Sir Oliver Lodse
and Sir A. Conan Dovle It is
a subject on which great minds have
speculated in many ages.
"Are we not-spirits," says Carlyls,
"shaped into a . body, into an ap
pearance, and that fade away again
into air and invisibility. This is no
metaphor. It is a simple scientific
fact. We start out of nothingness,
take figure and are apparitions.
Round us, as round the veriest spec-1
tre, is eternity, and to eternity min
utes are as years and afeons. Come
.1 - . . 1 .f A
mere not tones 01 - love ana laiui
as trom clestial harp strings like
the song of beautified souls?
"uhosts: ihereare nigh a thous
WWof flvT
sticct corner, and it kept the police
bu-y all.day dispersing the crowds.
Kveo the wimmen got to shaking
their : fists v at each , other. They
didn't know what they were .talk
ing about God . bless em but
neither did anybody jelse.
"But politics was politics., them
days. , Thcie was something doing
from cook crow till bedtime Men
would stop plowing, to yell across
the field whac the 'cross of gold'
would do fer the country. Tha.
democrats ail had Bryan's speech
pat, and the republicans would tell
'era Bryan was nothing but a wind
jammer. There was more broken
heads that year, I recjkpn, than any
other yer they electea a president,
and everybody had a good time.
"Now look at "it. A fellow comes
in here and tries to start something
and not a man will open his head.
Same wav uo the country You
couldn't get 'em excited if you told
here to teach us how to play base
ball No wonder the wimmen want
in on the game. When they learn
the tc'rm3 and get to calling each
other names, you'll see some hair
pulling! And I'm glad of it, if
the men are going to lay down on
th job.- .
"Huh! Me next? I want a hair
cut, beard trim And shoe shine.
That's the, only way I know how to
start something out homer1
New : Police Sergeant
' V Gets the Turkey Strut"
' With His Three Stripes
" "Yeah Bol' Ya"ciughtter,see John
Coffey, new sergeant of police.
T'other day, he reported for duty
at Central police station all brassed
up in his new' unifotm. There was
quite a difference in his appearance.
His head was slightly higher, should
ers more broad and his spirit was in
time with that of a successful candi
date for a coffee brewer's job.
Leave it to Sergeant John for suc
cess. For 20 years lje istood ,the
gaff of bombthrowers who didn't
want to be arrested; vengeful womri
folks4 who for some reason riled the
police because they failed to arrest
their husbands, etc. ' John says he
has stood enough of the troubles of
"common trash.'
Now he's an overseer of a battal
ion of.soh'ce, that would do honor
111 appramncr mm service t to ine
Shah of Persia. .. Leave if. to John.
of
and million walking the earth openy
at noontide. .Some halfrhundred
vanish from it, some half-hundred
have risen to it ere the watch ticks
once.".i ...,..
Council Passes Ordinance.
Tlie-city .council' some.', time ago
passed an ordinance providing a
prohibitive license of $75 a month
for persons who profess to tell the
future for pay.
A leader 111 th business said there
are between 50 and 75 persons in
Greater Omaha and Council Bluffs'
who have the powet of calling baik
the spirits of the dead and convers-
ifT?Twith theiiv v
The sight of the woman kicking
the little table with her foot at the
demonstrationv mentioned at the be?
ginning ef this article put a very!
All Here Except the Names.
Washington, D. C, March 4, 1921.
(Special Spiritualistic Dispatch to
The Biunble vB?e.) President
was .maugurated today
9t noon. - On the special inaugural
stand in the shadow of the Capitol
Chief Justice White administered the
oath of. office before a crowd 'such
as. has never before witnessed an
inaugural ceremony ; . ' 1
President ' 's address
was. a message of r"Amerfca
first,' in whiqh he ' declared that
European .nations must stand, upon
their own feet and solve their own
problems.
The, inauguration jeff Vice Presi
dent took place in the
senate- chamber and was scarcely
less impressive than that of Presi
dent He : -
" '
Let's See Ya Move the City' Na
' tional Building, Ed.
(Oakland IndeDenflentl -
Notice I have now received
one of the best house moving
outfits from the factory at Cedar,.
1 RaDids, Ia. You men that haver
L ' buildings to move this spring
are invited to come and inspect
my new machinery. There are'
no buildings too large for me to
move. . EDVVIN LUND.
No Accounting for Tastes.
(Greeley Dispatch.)
Joe Bruce, who has been in
Omaha with a carload of hogs,
"returned Saturday evening.
About Ten Years, We Guess.
(Embroidered by-Jrwln HarrUon)
If an aviator can drop five miles
in tw6 mi-roles, 'how lbn? will it
take the price of a suit ot clothes
lo drop hve cents?
V BYE AND BYE.
CCIItner New in Aurora. Republican)
Alvie Bye of Lodge Pole is
" visiting .his parents, Mr. and
Mrs.. George Bye, north of .
towo. j
v- '" kiddincTgeorge ;
1 1 ((Harvard 'Courier)
George Fishback got home
from his visit to Illinois and
Icwa Monday .The people
over there put up with hirn as -.
long --as -they could. and he Is ,
now back to grouch around
Harvard once more.-1 '-
What Fools We Mortals Be!
(Ec6lelaatea 2 ((-ll.K . i .
1 made me ereat works: I builded
me houses I planted me vineyards
I made me, gardens' and orchards
thd I pla;itjcl trees in them of all
kinds of fruit. I gathered me also
silver and pold, and the peculiar
treasure of kings and: of the prov
inces. I gat me. men singers and
women stugerj.. and the delights ox
Live,
1 j.) H AY 1. STINQBR, 'ft. fl (3
rsssssssssssssssr- pi 1 f. fry c 17 a j 1 . a . mMrr. u
iiiitiiB 1 1 tiii nil. 1 11 1 k . v y 1 . x -
large doubt in the mind of the re
porter, very large. The demonstra
tion started with a short -speech by
a man demonstrator.,
Must Be, Intelligent
''Christ , done ' what- was called
mtraples in thehrdays of long ago,"
said he. , "Now our thoughts may
not-be yours. But this is our re
ligion. There is only onehellnd
one heaven and that is what we
make for .ourselves here on e'arth.
If the spirit is intelligent enough to
talk now in the body, why shouldn't
it still be able to talk after it leaves
this body?. .
"Have faith and you can see your
spirit friends come to you."
A small, light taWe. was tfien
brought out, and announcement was
made that anyone in . the audience
the sems of men, as musical instru
ments, amh that, of all sorts. ,
So I was great and increased more
than . all teat were before me in
Jerusalem. Also my wisdom re
mained .with me.'
And whatsoever mine eyes desired
I kept not from them. I withheld
not my heart frcJm any joy; for my
heart rejoiced in all my labour; and
this was' nly. portion' of all my la
bour. v,; - ' ,
Then I locked on 'all the works
that my ..hands had. wrought, and
Oi thelabour that T had, laboured
to do. And behold, all was vanity
and vexation of 'spirit and there was
no profit under' the sun.
And He Drives a Ford.
(Tune. 'Blowlnir 'Bubbles.)
"I'm forever having trouble,.
Engine troubles everjwire :
I neaitly always go on "hlgLh,"
Seems like my Ford want's ma to die.
Fortune's nearly always smlllnjr' " v
On every ether guy, r.,'
I'm forever having troubles. J
Awful troubles everywhere."
. rKANK A. r KfiKMAiV.
(Brother-in-law of EdcHe Black.)
The "Fire Boys Lose Out
(Newman 'fcrove Repdrter)
Quite a blaze started at the
hotel Monday night but by cjuick
work.it was extinguished. Only
a small loss was suffered, but,
for a time it looked as if it might
be necessary to call out the vol
unteer fire department. -
- - . . .
RUBBING IT IN. '
("Twenty-four Tears Ago" In Stromburs
, HeadUght). ' i
Feb. 77, 1896. Markets Corn
16. oats 10 to 12, wheat 60 'rye
and barley 25,hogs 3.30, but- ;
ter 9, eggs 8., , ' V s
Oh, Why; Oh Why, '.'",
Are Our Shoes So High? - )
Oh Why, Oh Why, '
Can It Be? . v-.; -,' -V'
New York-The report of f he
Central Leather Co. for the yea
ended December 31, 19 19,;-compares
as'follows: .;' :-
' J ' 19t. ; ' 1U.
Tot. ' earns . . .
.J28,10,EOO $12.22.43
,3B5.753 S.(I0.7
.18.18d.688 ' 8.814.640
Exn. and losses. .
Total net ....
Bat. after. Int...,
14,2X8.481 4.476.430
2,330,30- f,33(l,SO
tll.67.S61 . 4.145,000
tSJ3,081 - 2.779,063
41,314,470 1,366.441
Pfd. illvs
Surplus ".J
lom. divf.li.....
m... ....... . r . . . . .
i. "Total earnings ojf'aU properties after
(TRductlng expenses Incident to operations,
Including those for repairs and mainte
nance (aonroximatelv 12.707.729). provi
sions. for plant abandonments and stump-I
ages, rederai income ana excess prouis
taxes and other taxes.
tEqual td (20.11 on the mormon stock,
compared with 10.44 In 1918 and 130.44
In 1917. ,. . f
They Marry Too Young . Nowadays.
'Nettie -iSesto. 17. orettv - little
blue-eyed wife, of Tony Se'sto, 1901
South Fourteenth srrcet, prevented a
pislol duel Thursday evening be
tween her week-old husband and'her
broken-hearted fatherJr-Kews item
Human
could come up and watch the dem
onstration. Ihe reporter went up.
The two wonten and the man sat
around the table.
"Many people have asked us why
we can't make the table move'in
the light instead of in the dark,"
the large woman, facing the au
diencesaid. "We will now show
you we can make it' move in the
light and without even touching it."
The table suddenly lurched across
the stage about a foot.
"Did anybody see il?"xasked the
medium. Nobody gave any sign arid
the medium said they would make
it move again without touching it.
But the reporter had noticed one of
her feet within an inch of one foot of
the table. He now leaned forward
and glud his eyes on the feet.
T
Interest
in an Omaha morning paper last
rnday.
' GETTING ALL THE NEWS.
, (Newman Grove Reporter.)
The Rejfcrter appreciates the
work of the local correspond
ents and the 'edi'tor wants to asr '
sure them that he has not for
gotten them. Lindsayis the most
faithful of all, but Looking
Glass and CoonPrairie do
mighty well. Wonder what is
the matter, with . yloster. We
haven't neard from s there for
sortie time. We will send
SOS messages out "that way
-before long. Since the streets
were -paved out In that enter
prising community ' there ought :
to be something doing out that
way. Then there is Northeast
Shell Creek; comes in every once
in a while. "
" N ' But She Hadn't. r
Iva Byrd were the two "given"
names of a woman who applied for
a divorce last week in district court.
Homing Instinct of
Nebles Ducks Almost
Make Him Indian Giver'
', Sophus Neble presented three
tame "wild" ducks to County Sur
veyor Lou ' Adams last Monday
when Lou was out at the Neble
farm soujh - of Springfield. Lou
brought them in hfs Buick to bis
'.home, 2919 Seward street, and put
thetn"in thV 'chicken house. j .
. Tne-next day Mrs. Adams turned
them out in the yard. When Lou
came home that evening he couldn't
find the ducks. He searched hfgh
and low in the thicken house, ()u
ho ducks. Then he asked Mrs. Lou.
"Why, I turned them out in the
yard," said she. ' , .
''Well, they're bne," said Lou.
"We'll never see them again." ,
But he was half wrong. Gone,
the du'clfs were, without a doubt
But that evenitfg came a telephone
call from 'the Neble farnv' '
"Your ducks are down here," was
the 'message. ''SThey arrived this,
morning and are in their old-pen."
The ducks, vby . the mysterious
six,th sense possessed by birds, had
found 'their way from the. Adams
home in the midst of the city to
Are 'Neble farm', 30 miles away.
"I can't see why they didn't join
the big flocks of dunks now flying
north, said .Lou. but they didn t
They just went straight home, ar
riving there within an. hour pr two
after their probable -departure from
my yard." - '
After a few of the'passes of the me
dium's hands over the table she an
nounced: . . . . -"I
don't- believe it will move
acain."
"All Hands Above Board.'
The ,ihree mediums then placed
their hands on the table arid the re
porter was told to put his hands on
top of two of theirs. The lights
were switched off. All was perfect
darkness. -The table moved. The
lights were switched on.
"Did it move?" asked the large
woman.
"Yes, it moved." said the reporter.
"Now we'll show you w can
make it move in the light without
touching it," 6aid the large woman.
The tabic took another quick jump
across the stage. 43ut the reporter
had seen the very material kick of
a very material foot.
Absolutely No Doubt.
' "Did aiiyohe see it move?" asked
the medium, h
"Yes. yoiicet. I saw it move," ex
claimed the shocked reporter. "I
saw you kick it with your foot."
"No, you didn't." said the man.
"I absolutely did. No doubt of
it," came back the reporter.
Communication with the spirits of
those who have passed on may be
possible. At any rate, the 'investi
gation showed that tnore people
than ever before are interest in
the stibject in Omaha. j
Even Steam Shovels" ' .
Can't Reach Conduits
Of Telephone Company
,-. , ;-;'
When the -Nebraska Power com
pany's Service wis interrupted be
cause somey of its conduit's fell into
an excavation at Tenth and Douglas
last week, some of the old-timerss
at telephone headquarters chuckled
and shook hands again.
A little- while ago they were 'per
turbed by the activity of. the Dodge
street grading gang. The big conduit
carrying the wires leading to the
north part of town runs up Eight
eenth. How to get it out of the way
of Condon & Bolen's steam shovel
was the problem. Temporary con
struction to the. tune of several thou
sands of dollars was figured out, and
a search was made for the conduit.
A hole sejen feet deep was dug and
no trace was found, but they knew-
it was somewhere about.
Dick Anderson? who has bossed
the lob of Duttuie uo and down wires
for the Bell people in Omaha ever
since they had. any to put up or
down solved the protrlem.
vvnen tne . underground was
built up Eighteenth street," he pro
claimed, the telephone company s
faith in the growth and expansion of
Omaha was so sublime that it could
foresee the grading of Dodge street,
nnA Krift !rc rnnrttti'tfl arrnrd.
ingly." . . ' . . . . i
Examination ot tne arcnives in tne
engineer's office proved that "Dick"
was right, as; usual, ihe top ot the
conduit' where jt crosses' Dodge
Street. wa eighteen feet below the
surface and safe.from the graders,
m
Yoii
'Em
"Feathcrduster, ,who gave you a
"sleigh-ride,". Police Sergeant W. G.
Russell challenged "Featherduster"
Butler, dusky Thirif ward character,
yesterday when he met that individ
ual in a condition that suspiciously
resembled ."a -state supposed to be
impossible since -certain legislation
accredited to Mr. Harrison became
effective." ,
"Hainf, na sleigh ride. Sah'gint
bose," 'was the Teady reply, Ah s
got de sleepin: sickness, and she's
shosome rnis'ry.''
' tWhad'ye'mean, sleeping sick
ness?" the sergeant, demanded. '
"Why,- sa'me'-as-dar Pahreeshin
dressmaker hadV'J'Featherduster exT
plained, "Dat Paul Pwa-ray what
had 10 days of it las' week. Man,
he ' had some' dream seeing wimin
folks in nothin' but de skins of an
cient gea?"e, which no one else eb
ber seen 'ceptin' ' dcy was coked,
and otto-mobils whai dumb along
lak snakes-on'y place outside ob
bootleg, and perfonm which An
knows he had t'git out 'of a hop
pipe. Ah's got de sleepiu' mis'ry
fum now our . '.. v
Stories
By EDWARD BlACK,
t "Do you and your husband, ever
have any family spats?" Mrs.
What's-Her-Name asked, when She
chased with gazelle-like grace. over
to the Lcmngwell domicile.
J WIW Aiming well UU11IIL11C, --
"My man and I have arguments,
now and then, and he calls them
'clashes pf opinion.' He said they
are mental stimulants, and lie told
me that domestic life would be a
dull and dismal diet. unless there
was a garniture of words. ,
"My man said he did 'not care
how much I argued, just so that I
admitted it when he was right and
I was wrong; but whwi I was right
and he was wrong, he would not
admit it, and that'madc me" cry, and
then he would tell me that he' en
joyed seeing a woman have a good
bawl." , . , .
"Yes, Henry sometimes becomes
imbued with the idea that he has a
contribution which t he wtshess to
make to the general tundof knowl
edge," Mrs. Lefhngwell replied,"
and, as a rule, I. manage to soothe
him into silence. , , v
About Old Hats. '
"What I really came over for,
was to tell you thaf I was going to
wear my old hat this spring." the
taller continued, "and when I wore
:& j 11. t. ii. A 11.,
SoVAnd-So, who clerks in a store to
toelp her husband pay for their au
tomobile, and I mentioned the old
hat to her, she remarked that a per?
son feels like a fool wearing last
year's hat and seeing other women
gallivanting around- in their new
hats, and so I began to think that
perhaps she was right for once, and
then I went and bought a new spring
hat. .! . -
"If you wasn't so busy I would
stop to tell you 'that when I returned
home and 'showed the hat to my
man and told him -it was a New
York hat, he said he thought that
I looked like a vampire. Well, I
must be going before I wgar my
welcome out."
Mrs. Leffingwell resuifled her
culinary activities,, anticipating that
Henry would return with his usual
appetite. She was aroused by the
sounds of unusual noises which
seemed to originate within the
house, and, as she could account for
the whereabouts of the children, she
grew apprehensive.
v Caught in the Act
The sound of a muffled footfall
and of rappings on a wall would al
ternate with disquieting effect. She
had been reading much of Jate on the
subject of psychical research. Was
it possible that some ot nenry s an
cestors had returned from the echo-
lss shores to learn how he was'
faring in mundane Surroundings.
She tried to dismiss the subject
as!,being perhaps a fiction of the
About
.
Procrastination Proves, to
Be Thief of Timer-And Aces
' r'
Pilot on Omaha-Chicago Air Mail Route Almost, But
v Not Quite, Makes the Grade Everybody in the
A. E. ,F. Beat Him ta It He Ldses. ! 1
How Fickle Fortune played with
him, nearly made him an "ace and
then in a sudden change of mood
flopped him coldly, is told by Walter
J. Smith, who "will be one of the
four flyers stationed here when the
Omaha-Chicago aerial mail service
gets into operation this month
' On the -records of the A. E. F.,
rtmitii - is 'officially credited with
bringing down four Gernjan planes.
He needed a htth to give him rating
as an ace. j
"And I might have had it,
too.:
ne reminisces. luck surely was
with , me for awhile one day, and
then threw me down.
"I was patrolling over the Amer
ican lines one afternoon, shortly
after I had accounted for my fourth
enemy plane... Everything was quiet
and peaceful and I was sailing along
rather lazily, when suddenly from
above a cloudbank there swooped
down on me six or seven German
combat Nplanes. I tried to speed
iway, but in an instant, it seemed.
they were above and below ftie and
had cut off my line. of retreat.
"There was nothing to do, though,
ut plunge ahead. I opened fire on
two enemy planes directly in my
Philanthropic Habit y
Of Judge Gooley Wins
Him New Avocation
Julius S. CoQley, dean of the po
lice court bar, is a kindle sou! and
it has been his custom for, years to
Duy a j numbert morning news
papers and distribute them among
the persons present in police court.
The " "judge came ydown one
morning last week with his armful
of papers and began giving them
out with his compliments.., '
' It so happened that Tom Matter
was present in the court room and
to him.the "judge" handed a paper.
.Mrt Maher looked at it and then
reached into his rocket and ex
tracted' 2 cesrts which he handed to
the (' judge." I
. "No, no, . it's a present. Accept
tt with my compliments," said the
"judge-ariiid the laughter of those
who saw it.'". I ' ,
; "I thought he was selling papers,"
said Mr Maher, who hadn't the
pleasure "of knowing "Judge" Cocdey
before that ' , ; V ; . , )
imagination, but the sounds im
pressed themselves with increasing
emphasis on her mind. A gust of
wind from a partially opened win
dow set a rocking chair in motion
and that added to the intensity
I f, . - .
I of he situation,
She decided she would investi
gate. Entering the front bedroom,
her almost affrighted senses were
given a shock when sBe observed
Henry standing in the middle of the
floor, going through physical cul
ture exercises. The souTce of the
uncanny1 noises, was explained.
Leffingwell had entered the house
unobserved and had slipped into
the bedroom where he proceeded to
go through, routine movements
which h had seen demonstrated by
a health and happiness exponent
during the week.
' -" . Live to Be 100.
"I'm going to live to be .100 years
old," he blandly announced, while
his wife stood almost dumbfounded.
"Yes,".he continued, "I have found
fminiain rf vonth at last.
Twelve minutes of this' exercise
every day is going to make a new
man of me. And the Leffingwells
arc going to join me after I have
mastered the technique of the ex
ercises. ' .
"One is for the lungs, another for1
the liver, another for the .abdomen,
and'so on. Good cheer and regular
exercise is what we need. Less
me3t and more merriment is going
to be the Leffingwell legend from
now on.V
"I was beginning to think that
this house was haunted," Mrs. Lef
fingwell remarked with some show
of temper.
"Treat 'Em Rough'a .
"Well, you will think that this
house is inhabitated by real live
spirits after we have followed these
exercises for a few months." Leffing
well added, as he gave a few more
demonstrations. 1 "
"What you need, Henry," his wife
replied." 'is a set of exercises tnat
will train you to put some coal in
the furnace now and then, and to
take the ashesi out without having
the family pray that you will do it.
You might obtain some beneficial
exercise if you would sharpen my
knives." ( -
"Say. pa. show ma how to do a
handspring," Willie impertinently
remarked. '
"Madame Leffingwell," Henry
continued. "You need exercise to
bring the roses back into your
cheeks."
"Henry Leffingwell" she retorted,
"you need a wife who would trea
y'eu rough."
Maulstrat Did I onfltia yo to
sav that th partlea tieert high wordaT
Police Witness Tbelr voices war
pitched ralher hlfrh, air, but tha word
usd wera axtremflly low. -London Allan-era,
f
path and luck was surely with roe.
Both of them dropped in flames and
outdistanced -the otherv attacking
ships. Sound of the firing quickly
brought up American planes and the
Germans beat it for their own lines.
"Right then I hadn't the slightest
j i. t i... j i . i : .. i . . i
U . ...... I I . ' . . J . ' .-
class by a big piece of luck. But I
learned differently.
"I landed, inspected my plane,'
found it undamaged and continued
my patrol work until J was relieved. '
Vhen I reported at headquarters,
this was the greeting I got from the
squadron commander:-
"Well, you mighKas well put in a
claim for those two German planes. .
Every other flyer in the A. E. F. is
claiming them, so you've got as
good a chance as anyone for getting .
the credit. - . ' ,
"And that's the way luck turned
against me. If I had hustled into
1 t l ....... .... e. ..
uiauijudj ici s iiiuncuiaiciy. aiicr mat . v
airv battle I might have, put my
claim v across and gotten an 'ace'
rating. But those other fellows told .
stories just as realistic as mine. TUe
higherups didn't know whom to
believe, so they compromised by not
giving qfcdit to anyone.
School Head Decides
She's Due for Trouble
. Choosmg the Winner
Miss Margaret O'Toole, principal
of Comenius school, believes that
the boys and girls of lu:r Sixth grade
room will compare favorably with
any other school room ia Omaha in
the matter of personal cleanliness.
It is almost traditional with this
particular room that its pupils are
exemplars for the school. The class
this year is setting the pace for the'
other childi cn. They believe in the .
efliciacy of soap and water and
they know the value' of the tooth-..
brush. They hold that when a but- "
tort comes off it should be replaced
as (fuickly as possible. --'
A mother of one of the .pupils of J
this room nas offered a shoe-shlnin'
outfit to the child who attains tbm "V
bet record before the) close of . -
school next June. . ..... ' ,""
"1 wouldn r like to nasje to decide -
which on should be given theT '
prize," remarked the principal. ,
"They are a!( so cjean that it would
h- hard to 'decide which ona is th . -
People
L