.1 , -
iff
ROY RUN TO WASHINGTON
AND GET THIS O.K'D ITSfOR
THE VMM EDITION SO HURRY,
IOP JN CrfCA60 OA YOU A
WAY B AC A AND FIND OUT
WHZNTHE NEXT FJiE IS
GOING. TO BE. Iff
t i est i - jrr. ?
16 B
Jttdgfn from the court's decision
el reporter mVAe eywpped
wit A earmufts, fiand cuffs, ijdtfaed,
hbndfoded, etnd hohhed tefere Ae
feares tne stewspojtrrpfffce.
TheWoiderad idea of running a newspaper origt ;nat
gd. when our Grandfathers were Sophomore's n tne
printing husinesJ tfie idea J s simpe Just tike
tne editors,
ffi Mysterious Krug. fjjl
Now it came to pass that there
' was much hurry and confusion in
the Land of Omaha, for a Mys
terious Stranger had appeared. ,
'And none wot of the Stranger,
but of suspicion there was plenty,
for there were those who had done
well, and those who had not done
well, and uneasy lie some heads.
And of the hurryings to and fro
th.ere were some who went to the
. Gtihall, and some who went to the
Whorld-Fearalf, which is another
name for being scared 'to death for
fear of printing the truth and step-
: ping on somebody's toes.
And it was whispered the Stran
ger was a great printer.
So there were called together
great meetings.
"Wi Need New Guns."
And of these there were meetings
"of the Smithites and the Ringerites
..and the Hazeites and all the other
Highbinders, and especially of the
Policeites. -And
there were those who cried
..put this, and those who cried out
that, and the Policeites cried out
principally, "We need some new
i guns, and clubs, and stars.".
And to this there were others who
cried out, "Yea, we say unto you
give them new guns, and clubs, and
stars, but put chains on them, for
verily, of what doth it profit them
to have new guns the one night,
and the next day they haveth none,
for the mob cometh and taketh them
away?"
And there was a great meeting
V M
P S police urn j
' C Bliiiliffliililiilliaiiifffillni
i wimm .
THE OMAHA Sunday Bee
OMAHA, SUNDAY MORNING, NOVEMBER 23, 1919.
Thtidta Sntier is Ms Bee vrir
soost ie extinct, in order topnse
ve rts jnemrir the buidinb writ
be remodeled into a Aim
The awriJeimated League of reading pedestrians .
doesft redd everftitti or dnithnd tAeu stand on
h their merits and the capacity of the sidewdfh, &ey
I wi either read together or .seporatej providiitr
N there ore enough ) See's.,
1ou never reard of a mouse wrecMigccot?!!
The mysterious "stremJerVntm
Mew York
Tfie OJ7?c7za Poce department pats one in mndof hadn't.
a celt tempM a mouse, ony mUtne opposite etect tSu
and hand them a cold one. And
they did. . And they got it back.
And it was a hot one.
And there was great rejoicing.
The Great Oomph Pah.
And messengers and bulletins and
special scouts were sent to the
Thomasites and they spake unto
the great Oomph-Pah of the Thom
asites saying: "Now have . the
Beeites been smited and no longer'
will we be shown up, and that which
is the news can be put in the waste
basket, and that which is not the
news can be plastered all over the
paper and great will be the name of
the grand Oomph-Pah of the
Thomasites.
And the grand Oomph-Pah
breathed him a great' breath, and
called, of which those that were
there cam? from the highways and
the byways, and some came from a
box called the jury box, and some
from a list cjlled the jury list, and
some came from hither and thither,
but principally from hither, for they
were picked out, and it was said to
them. "Come hither," and they
came.
A Great Secret.
And of this meeting there was a
great secret and the name of them
was the Grandiuryites and the pass
word was "lordsavus."
And when the Grandiuryites had
met there was great rejoicing and
singing of psalrns among them that
were the Smithites and the, Ring
erites. v And the Smithites and the Ring
erites spake each unto the other,
saying, "Verily we will now go
forth unto the land of the Beeites
and smite them." And they did.
But later they wished they hadn't.
And the Policeites , spake each
unto the other .saying: "Verily, now
is the time to pound the plum pud
dingy out of everybody in sight,
where is the Petersonite?" And they
found the Petersonite and told' him
to go forth and pound the plum
pudding out of some poor devil-
the wtoe worfo ifetv up when tfie hee ra3fed Jf
prize n.c? monoce tournament from Zerd fffigei;
tfie Dee wasfater disfirfffed jy tfie court
cast from his brow great drops of
sweat, and spake unto them giving
them a message to carry back, and
the message was for the Courtites,
and the message had the Courtites
make all the Beeites into the like
ness of the Whorld-Fearallites and
the Daily Newstes.
And the likeness of the Whorld
Fearallites was a sight to behold,
for they had eyes that see not, and
ears that hear not, and mouths .that
Ipeak not.
And the Courtites ordered to
gether all them of the Beeites and
made for them some posts, to which
they could be tied, and some gags,
with which they could be gagged,
and some blindfolds, with which
their eyes could be blinded, and
some handcuffs and some of various
and sundry other things which would
make thim into the jikness of them
of the Whorld-Fearall. ,
And there was great rejoicing.
But it didn't work.
So endeth the first chapter.
Leffingwell Indulges in a
Few Magnanimous Moments
And as Usual He Gets the Worst of a Family Argu
ment kittle Willie Caps the Climax and Leaves
the Old Man Talking to Himself.
"Magnanimity is what we need ta
I .
improve eacn snining nour, assert-
ed Henry Leffingwell, presiding eld
er of his domestic round table, after
he had addressed himself to the
comforting provender of the even
tide.
His wife Vas removing the crock
ery from the dining table and was
arranging the reading lamp for her
chief counsel. She had been prac
ticing magnanimity all of the live
long day and she was wondering
What kind of herbs Henry had
found ' in the wildwood, that he
should be so suddenly stricken with
an attack of magnanimity. She was
inclined to believe that a diagnosis
of his case would reveal symptoms
of megacephalia. During the afternoon-
Mrs. What's-Her-Name had
called at the Leffingwell kitchen to
relate how she was instructing her
children in the ancient and honora
ble art of using better English, ac
cording to her ideas. -
This neighbor related that none in
her home used the word "louse," but
that they said "pediculus capitus,"
when referring to that household
object of reproach. She also said
that members of her household
never used the expression "bedbug,"
but always said "cimex lectlularius"
when wishing to direct attention to
this pest of the boudoir. She also
asseverated with vehemence that
she had persuaded her husband to
use the word "chicken" only when
referring to the offspring of a do
mestic hen, although such lexico
graphers as Johnson, Walker, Web
ster and Worcester give one mean
ing of "chicken" as "a ybung per
son." Mrs. What's-Her-Name also
stated that she had learned a way
of adding vinegar to make apples
nyore tart when making pie.
Can You Blame Him?
Mrs. Leffingwell took a magnan
imous slant on her friend's rhetori
cal redundance. She believed that
sh would be able to struggle along
with the home-growiuiorms of ex
pression. A little slang, she believed,
added variety to the day's work and
relieved the humdrum of domestic
tedium. She almost wished that
Henry, her leading man, would rush
home some night and exclaim, "I'll
say so," or "I'll tell the world."
''Yes," added Leffingwell, striking
a heroic pose, "I want tht word
'magnanimity' engraved in my
sarcophagus, to that when posterity
goes trooping past, it may know
what I stood for.
"What did yon say you had to
stand for, pa?" Willie asked, looking
toward his mother for moral aid
and comfort ,
"Magnanimity covers a throng of
transgressions," Henry continued.
"We are .too quick to be supercilious
or to discredit the words ;.d deeds
of others. We fail to place the best
construction dn hearsay evidence of
the goings and comings of our
neighbors. I don't want the Lef
fingwells to be captious. Remem
ber that it takes all kinds of people
and weather to make a world and
that it would be a dull place if we
all had the same ideas of who
struck Billy Patterson or how old
Ann may be. Don't throw cold
water on the fads and yfoibles of
others. If Mrs. So-and-So, at the
age of SO, tries to appear as young
as her daughter, don't discourage
her. Be a booster all of the time,
all the while."
Yet, It Was Some Hint.
"I suppose that is a hint that I
should doll up like a chorus girl
and then perhaps you would take .
me downtown to see the shop win- ,
dows or oerbaos to a oicture show."
replied Mrs. Leffingwell, her choler
beginning to rise. "I should think '
that this house owuld fall upon us
when you begin to talk about be
ing magnanimous. You parted
company with that word so long
ago that you have forgotten all
about it. You're skidding again,
Henry, you're skidding. If you had
any magnanimity in your make-up,
you would have at least mentioned
that cherry pie we had for supper
You take things for granted. Your
sensibilities are becoming atrophied."
"Pa. how did you get that way?"
Willie chirped, as he got out his
Omaha Concord club song booK
and started up with:
"O, when I die
Don't bury me at all,
Just pickle my bones
In alcohol
: Place a bottle of booze
. At my head and feet,
Then let me alone
And I guess I'll keep."
Durinr which Leffingwell went t
his dictionary and looked up tht
word "magnanimity"
Bouquet of
Live,
Human Interest Stories About Feople
, -
I Dignity of European Order
Weighed Heavy On Omahan
Appearance' of King Albert's Medals Caused Sack
Coat to Hang on Peg and Feet to Keep on Floor
, Instead of on Desk But it All Changed.
Shall we bow, salaam, call him
prince, baron or what? These are
questions' which puzzled the asso
ciates of W. H. Murray, assistant
"general passenger" agent of the
Union Pacific railroad.
For Mr. Murray was recently the
recipient of a gold medal medaille
d'or, to be correct from King Al
bert of Belgium. With the medal
. came a neat little note from the
king and Queen Elizabeth thanking
him for his "kind services" while ac
companying them on their .railroad
trip across the country. --
Now Mr. Murray is the sort of
man that wears a -sack coat during
office! hours. He rarely dresses for
dinner, it is said, and chooses his
companions for their worth and not
their money. So of course he isn't
wearing the medal not when any
one's around, at least.
But the fact remains that a king
bestowed on him a great honor;
made him of the Order of Leopold
II, according to the letter.
Naturally the order of Leopold
II was a little vague to Mr. Murray.
He was rather dubious over the
order when he first received the
medal, in fact. But orders is orders,
asEllis Parker Butler would say,
and Mr. Murray was duly impressed.
- L: Knightly Air Noticeable.
" He began to assume a knightly
' air of the well known European
, -court type, according to associates
-quite unconsciously, of course.
The second day after the medal
arrived he-is said to have inquired
of a close friend if the friend honest
,. ly" thought that silkknee breeches
were becoming to tall men. He was
;.also overheard, wondering aloud,
whether royalty was wearing pink
or white sashes at the most fashion
able court events.
The friend, who was not posted
on knee breeches on fashionable
.Court colors, advised Mr. Murray
a to read up on the matter.
, - That very night the librarian-at
iht public library reported that there
was a shortage of European Court
Etiquette books'. A tall rangy man
bad borrowed them, she said.
Sack Coat Hangs Untouched.
"The next morning Mr. Murray
sauntered sauntered is the word
into his office. He bowed low to
his astonished stenographer and
seated himself carefully at his desk.
The sack coat remained hanging in
the corner. During the day his as
sistants held many hurried conver
sations. "Gee, exclaimed one. leaving the
office." he certainly is dignified. He
hasn'thad his feet on his desk once
today.
"Mebee he's got a stiff neck or
sornethin',?. volunteered another.
"Stifi neck nothin', it's that darned ,
medal," scoffed the f rst speaker. "I
don't know how to act when I go
in there. He ought a have
throne." A
And then this is all hearsay a
grnnv man, with overalls called on
Mr. Murray. He was the engineer
on the special which had carried the
royal Belgian party across the con
tinent. And on the bib of his over
alls there sparkled a tiny gold
medal.
Back to the Old Life. v.
The next day Mr. Murray walked
walked is the word into his of-.
fice. He favored his stenographer
with a brisk nod, and donned his
disreputable sack coat.
You know, King Albert Was a
mighty democratic old scout," he an
hounced casually to a reporter, later
in the day. "What do you think he
did he sent every hreman, engi
neer, conductor and" cook 'on that
special train of his, one of his med
als. And now they re all of the
order of Leopold II, the sameas
I am.
"But do you know," he continued,
as he swung his feet Mp on his mahogany-topped
desk, "I'm glad he
did it. Jt would have been terrible
to be the only representative of that
order in this country.
Summit Reached the
Summit of Boredom
On This-Iittle "Job"
A screech of terror from a robust
negro woman that had more gusto
to it than the squeals of a pair of
healthy swine in a sty, attracted the
attention of every woman, child,
tramp and policeman along S'teenth
street t'other day when a motor
cycle, bearing a couple of fierce
looking bolsheviki. with one holding
in his grasp the buxom- wench, was
seen to skid through space. The
scene was more like a kidnaping
case than a pair of mere policemen
taking a suicide victim to a hospital,
as was learned afterward.
Policeman "Baldy" Summit, hold
ing the colored form, was the "fall
guy" of the game. As it was neces
sary to rush the Amazon to a medi
cal cave somewhere, the policeman
snatched at the chance of acting Sir
Walter Raleigh in the case. Straight
tnrough the crowded streets the
driver of the oolice "iov wan"
hurried the 200 pounds of black
humanity, lounging gracefully in
Summit's lap, on her way to the
hospital.
fcvery one who knew me saw
me." Summit said.
The policeman has been spending
the whole of his dinner hour ex
phining to his gangs that he was
not out joyriding. j
r A. . 8TITS GBR If if V ...
AERO RACE FOR
BUMBLE BEE PRIZE
IS SUCCESSFUL
Name of Winner to Be Kept
Secret Details of JEpoch-
Making Trip Lost by
the Typesetters. .
The success of The Bumble Bee's
great race around th
a stop in a heavier than air machine
rna ks a new epoch in the naviga
tion or tne air. ,
A full account of th trin with
the name of the winner, was pre
pared tor last Sunday's issue of The
Bumble Bee. but was nvr1ooWpH nr
lost by the printers while setting at
C . t
up. oo our readers win nave to get
along without knowing the details
or the name of the winner of tli
$1,000,000 prize. .
l his is a matter of small moment,
however.
"Th nrinrinal tJiinir ! Vis K.
r -' r ...a. ...v
greft aerial derby around the globe
Without a Stoo hat become an ac
complished fact," said Gen. A.
btinger, editor of The Bumble Bee,
as he wrote the rherlc for $1.000 0(1(1
in his palatial offices.
Ihe public will not bother about
the details nor ear who maHo th
trip successfully, but be more in-
icresiea m tne epocn mat this
marks in the history of air naviga
tion. These are the ,'imnortant
things."
m Ceiieral Stinger's view of the sub
ject is remarkably reasonable and
Northcliffe a Piker.
In the London "T!m" nffir. it
is understood, there is great disap
pointment because that contem
porary of The Bumble Bee wasn't
forehanded enough to offer thie $1 .
000,000 prize. Lord Northcliffe.
publisher of the "Times," attained
some newspaper mention- when he
offered $50 000 for th firct r,'n
across the Atlantic ocean in an air
plane. But now that trifling prize is for-
fotten and the name of General
tincer is on fvcrv tonorn in all
the aero clubs of the world.
uispatcnes to ihe Bumble Bee
from Rome, bv wav of flonstantt.
nople, state that in the Czxbrosze-
blocszb Aeroshzxo'asj'hir 7ch7rr.
qpcbgz, the "crack" aero club of Buda
rcstn, uenerai stinger s name was
lauded by a party of speakers in the
reading room one day last week.
"He is ih man of tli Virmr in air
circles," Count Zsbgszcetwsgplval
lvsxDrisepoizDg is reported to nave
sa'd, using, of course, the Buda
Pesth language. ;
General Praised.
From manv other nlares rom
similar reliable reports of the promi
nence into which ueneral stinger
has come heranse of this ennrh.
making race which he has put on.
"If I receive requests to go to
foreign countries and be teudered
8TINQBR'
. r
banquets and be decorated with
rredals I shall probably accept
them, ' said General stinger in hii
nalatial ofhees today. Who am 1
thai I should seek to avoid the call
of duty? Great I may be, and rich,
but I consider that I am the servant
of the people. If they want to deco
rate me for what I may have done
I shall, of course, concur in their
will."
General Stinger may be addressed
"care of The Bumble Bee."
v Missing Word Contest. ,
Supply the words missing on the
billboard at Twentieth and Vinton
streets, and get a beautiful 1916 cal
endar: LET YOUR HOME BE
SCHLITZ. THE THAT
MADE MILWAUKEE FAMOUS.
The Rhymeless Poet.
After reading last weeks worst
poem, published in the Bumble cee,
Walter Krelle remarked": "I'm glad
you've kept Dave out, anyway."
He referred to Dave Feblowitz,
better' known as "the bard of the
composing room." Dave was all
broken out with poetic rash about
a year ago. He counted that day
lost whose low, descending sun saw
no poem written, not even one.
Dave says he has entirely recov
ered from the spasms of poetry. He
has not burst forth in poetry now
for many months and stoutly de
clares he has reformed definitely
and permanently.
Still, one never can tell. We hope
for the best. Dave may still have
recurring attacks of poesy from
time to time.
City "Hicks and Country "Slickers"
(O'Neill Frontier.!
The Omaha Bee i running
a hick column in the Bumble
Bee, on Sifndays, said column .
1 consisting of items taken from
the country newspapers of the
state. A week ago several of the
items were from the Emmet cor
respondence of our loathed but
esteemed contemporary. Last
Sunday Gothenburg was the
victim. We are glad the Bumble
Bee is running the little column,
because it's funny and no doubt
furnishes some amusement to
the. readers of the paper. But
"hicks" will be' "hicks, . as evi
denced when the "city papers ran
. columns about their urban read
ers 'who purchased "catch-em-yourself"
Arizona wild horses
, sold them by a couple of .enter
prising Holt county lads. '
O TEMPO RAI : .
Life without a leather coat seems
hardly worth living to the high
school boy nowadays.
with interest, so I'm coming to you
for aid and comfort. I will make
you my confidante because I know
I may trust you. I am a woman, 36
years old, and I have a gentleman
friend who is 38 years old. We have
been keeping company tor three
weeks and I believe that Jie cares
for me. But when can a woman
really know? Now, this is what I
wish to ask you: Last night he held
my Rand it was just a gentle
squeeze. Was that proper?
4 SARAH JANE.
Answer: I am shocked and pained,
Sarah, to think that any- girl would
permii such liberties. I advise you
never to see tnis ienow again,
is evidently a wolf in sheep's cloth-,
ing. No girl should permit a man
to squeeze her hand unless she is
married to him. You really ought
. 1 j J ! . . I . . A
tn renort tne case IO me yum-c,
county attorney and sheriff. Such tel
le ws ought to De Denina uie uaia
where they can't impose their bold
attentions on innocent gins.
BEATRICE BRICKBATS.
AN "ELDERLY BOY."
"We have two office boys," Will
iam Ralph remarked t'other day.
"One of them is an elderly boy.
about 18 or 19."
. THE SCOUNDREL!'
Mr. Stinger; I read your column
Just One Whiff Was
Enough for Judge as
"Jerry the Vag" Filed In
Though honored with the epithet,
'Alan of Mercy," Police Judge Fitz
gerald overstepped that honor one
mornm' lawst week when he be
stowed a 10-day jail sentence upon
an alleged vagrant before the un
luckv wobbly loitered against the
judge's bench. . .. .
As a rule, a prisoner is allowed a
chance to make a plea, but when
"Jerry, the Vag" emerged from the
bullpen wun an mc uuuuaiuuj f-i
fume and yecky of a prize Mal
tese cat permeating the room from
his checkered vest, the police judge
bawled out: '"Snuff, 10 days."
It was later learned that Court
Sergt. John Holden burned four
formaldehyde torches in suppressing
the perfumed aroma from "Jerry,
the Vag's" loquacious vest.
Were the Police in
The Station? Why of
r Course; Where Else?
Some people believe that Omaha
is in the same condition it was the
night of the riot as far as police
protection goes. Ordinarily if one
urfshes to locate an officer of the
low they would call Douglas 175, the
city bastile, but not so with every
body. Only Wednesday of last week a
man rushed into the police station
and shouted" are there any police
men in hefe. We wonder it he ex
oected td find them in the back
yard playing marbles or out on the
golf links hunting for vagrants.
It Might Have Worked
On Snigglefritz, But
Not On Farmer Brown
Live v stock 'commission men al
ways try to "call" the name of their
prospective customers at first sight.
If a farmer or rancher were to stalk
into an office in' tfie stock exchange
building and several employes were
to welcome him with "Hello, Mr.
Smith how's everything," even
though Mr. Snith had not been in
that particular office for more than
a year, the same Mr. Smith would
probably feel that that firm de
served his trade in preference to
some firm whose employes could
not remember him. '
A certain firm in the yards Jias
two old-timers on their staff of
salesmen who have excellent
memories. One of those old timers
is H. F. "Dutch" Thompson
1 horripson has a good memory
for names and faces. He also has
a stock of clever -and near-clever
methods of finding out who a man
is and still making that man think
he has known him for some time
Thompson tried-one of his near
clever methods on a farmer last
week. The farmer was standing 6n
the board walk looking at some cat
tle in Ihompsons pens., lhompson
wanted to call him by name, but
just couldn't place who the farmer
was.
Finally Thompson walked
toward Mr. Farmer. "Now,
see," he said, "How do you
your name?"
"H . you know how to
'Brown," mumbled the farmer as he
sauntered away.
Thompson's learning new meth
ods.
Eligible Omaha Bachelors
over
lets
spell
spell
Firemen Thought Hog
In Flames of Git Tails
Was Big Grizzly Bear
-
"It's a bearl" shquted Capt. Pat
Dempsey of fire company No. 14 to
Battalion Chief George Crager,
when .the twain were attending a
fire the other afternoon in East
Omaha, where the cat tails grow in
a wilderness ot vegetation, .these
pussy willows" caught .fire and the
flames were menacing when a wom
an summoned the department. '
Crager and Dempsey were bat
tling with the fiery elements when
they espied a dark object 'rushing
through tile tall mass toward the
center. It looked like a bear and
their fancy supplied what was lack
ing in fact. '
Sure. Pat. it's a, bear. Didn't il
see it myself?" Crager replied. The
word caution does not adequately
express their subsequent move
ments.- When the fire had been
s ibdued, they moved, Jiand in hand,
toward he center of the marsh
where they discovered a green
oasis upon which a hog had taken
refuge. ' .
'I told you it was bear," assert
ed Crager.
The sight of the firemen frighten
ed the hog into nervous prostration.
"Fitz," "Doc" or "Cap." You can
call himrany one of these, as his
friends do. Or you can call him
Tr. Fitzgibbon or Dr. Henry M.
Fitzgibbon.
He's six-feet-something and about
225 pounds of pep, peppenno and
hustle. He talks fast, walks fast,
drives fast, thrives fast.
But he is by no means a "fast"
young man. Absolutely no. riis
life has been crammed full of seri
ous effort and he is a self-made man
and doesn't need to be ashamed of
the job.
Yen. On a Farm.
"Fitz" saw the light of day on this
planet first on a farm near Missouri
Valley, la. -
In 1898 with nothing but one suit,
a worn grip and su ne came to
Omaha and started in at Creighton
college. For 10 years he attended
that institution, annexing the de-
gtees A. B., M. A. and M. D. to his
name. He sold pianos on Saturdays
and luring vacations, he mixed in
politics, supporting "Jim" Dahlman
and got the job of police surgeon
which he held for 18 months. He
found time to play all sorts of ath
letic games. He was the first man
to be manager of the foot ball and
of the base ball teams at Creighton
in the same year.
hinally he had learned everything
in Creighton university and he hung
cut his shingle. In 1913 he visited
Europe-with the Fhysictans I ravel
ind Study club, attending clinics by
great surgeons in Paris, Vienna.
Berlin" nd 16 other cities and end
ing with three weeks at the Inter
national Congress of Surgeons in
London.
So Did We AIL
He says he saw the war eoming
even then. In June, 1917, he went
into the army, was at Lamp KUey
three months, then' at Massachusetts
generaf hospital a while, and then
sent overseas with the 28th division.
Now he was "Cap." He and four
other surgeons were in charge of a
hospital through which 7,000 cases
went. He could see the Germans
.through his field glasses. He was
overseas a year and a week.
He's back now at his practice and
lives, at the Sanford hotel.
"I never had a girl, never had
time for girls," he said.
We laughed heartily at this pleas
antry, but the doctor insisted that .
he meant it. . ,
"Always thought you were a great
favorite with the ladies," we re
marked. "Didn'tcha ever take a
girl to a theater?"
"Never did," said the doctor.
"Ha da ya put in yer evenings?"
we demanded.
"Reading mostly, reading medical
works," said . Captain Fitzgibbon.
"I'm, a man's man. A doctor's time
isn't his own, anyway. Besides,
I've never had money enough to
think of getting married. Never
gave it a thought."
Sounds a bit disheartening,
doesn't it, girls? But, to tell you
the truth, we think the doctor was,
spoofing us.
He was the first man to take out
a life membership in the Omaha
Athletic club and he got a gold
watch, all engraved an' ev'rything,
for getting the most members in the
drive. He also belongs to the Field
club, Carter Lake club, Elks and
Knights of- Columbus.
He Does Them All.
He's strong for the "healtb stuff," ,
says walking, swimming, horseback (
ridinn and dancing are the finest
sports on earth because they give
.the right kind of exercise. Automo
biles and elevators, he says, deprive
the people of needed exercise. He
drives a Cadillac himself but as
severates he does that because he
has to hurry around among his pa-
tients.
There's so much to say about
Capt Dr. Henry M. Fitzgibbon
that we mustn't let ourselves run
along but draw this small disserta
tion to a close.
His disposition, health, etc., are
first-class, girls. And it seems to
us, bachelor-expert as we, are, that
one of you dear creatures ought to
grab him, one of these days.
The Cadillac is ot the landaujet
type, closed car, you know. Easy
for a woman to driye.
Thief Swipes 16 Turkeys
Lodi. Cal.. Nov. 22. Someone en
tered H. L. Gray's poultry yard here
and made away wij 16 turkeys
nice fat ones in the dead of night.
Gray, however, didn t pursue the
robber, for, as the latter climbed the
fence with his haul in a huge bag.
he dropped a wallet containing $60
in currency.
Today Gray has the $60 and is
preparing to restock on turkeys.