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o.M.KA 0"rZ''"r OF
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fa fee Ave. cindFoorfwuse Street
A
Sunday
16 B
OMAHA, SUNDAY MORNING, NOVEMBER 9, 1919.
PastCrand Jucfre'r of
tfie Sucfrers' Union, tfie
truest sue fcer fn tfie
Wora
i &uts aer Pres.
lYriffi. SectSfres.
- ( ' - UJ
u ill ill i rw v
,,l'M XFJRSrPfUZE T'
one of
THIS iv" ' joV
ir ALL Jttc
haw Tu,lt SOMCTHWG MEW SJ)?Y .
. . ' Kf HEARD OF IT
HLK.vnv. l"j" r. puf VP In'
ITS 60 v"c r'l 1
MOW
I DOING li,
S70C
SC HATCH
-aCHATUI
Tfie coroner's. yerdictaboye
shows' one mare, tricfrpari
aciiute faffed to open up
The Suckers' union isn't a new or
ganization. It existed and thrived
from Adam's time till now.
Fact is, Adam was a charter mem
ber. Might have been the cLief or
ganizer, for all we know.
Down through history we find
traces of the union, always a thriv
ing organization. Mark Antony
was a well Tcnown member. ,
A more recent member was the
Uaiser. Je fell for a clever line
like all good members do.
When someone told hirri he could
lick the world he believed it. How
could he do otherwise and be a
member ' of good standing in the
Suckers' union (un) Ltd. He just
couldn't
Any aspirant to fhe Suckers'
union might well follow Bill's ex
ample. For his is a shining jex
ample. His records will have a prominent
place iti the annals of this, great or
ganization. -
For the information of the curious
who will eventually why not not
now join the unlimited organiza
tion, we will quote its , creed. Learn
it by heart and follow it closely and
you're "sure to become a member,
Here's the creed:
"Early to bet, late to wiser makes
the brokers healthy, wealthy and
fat.
Learn as if to die tomorrow, fliv
as if to fliv" forever. .
The burned child dreads the fire
escape. v
Take care of the pennies and thr
brokers will take care of your dol
lar$. , . ,
Rome wasn't bilked in a day." ,
After 6,000 ' years the following
definition of a member of thjt union
has become accepted:
"A sucker is a bird who gets taken
for a long walk and thinks he is
riding."
It's short, snappy and means a lot.
But to add a little local color to
the theme, consider the., recent
achievments of fellow membcri in
Omaha. f v .
One dear lady member, to show
her loyalty to the organization and
her thorough knowledge of its creed,
recently invested in. League of
Nations stock, preferred, backed
by William Howard Taft, Woo'drow
LWilson, et al. :, ji. :
And to the last bitter hour, as
William Cullen Bryant would ; say,
she will have the satisfaction of
knowing that she' followed the doc
trines of the union even as Mark
Antony and the kaiser."
But let not other members de
spair. They will find many oppor
tunities of distinguishing themselves
IRSTPPIZE
TAj't vuinx- ot'rk no uour 77cirbfes
Omcltcfs society women buys a thousand
7RUCHS Ant
aii NFW VOU
CAN HAVE YMX
' 7 A If
ssooSPoy-
"rj JUST lAAt
TTWBNTV SHAMS
OF THAT
a mi inn RED A
CHECK?'.
I
ctrcernezres ii
wt lf the suckers r? 0mahc2
tf pffocfHs do want t&orhdflze cwd run ,
TO THE FARMERS I jn schools, the confidence men
v k r ' r v -----
in nets instead of a nooh)
J&eotinb tfie
con man at
firs own oome , i I
is Hire cfiaJIenting an owl .
to, c? hooting contest
even as did.he "League of Notion
Lady.? '
When a bird introduces himself
as a real estate man and offers to
sell you thev courthouse at a bar
gaintake heed, for opportunity to
become; a distinguished member is
knocking at four door, as it were.
Follow his advice, make a small
$2,000 payment . on the place, and
you will not only be a full
fledged member but a prominent
member ot Local No. I, ot tue
Suckers' Union; (un) Ltd.
This is one of the many ways. A
group of well tcnown local reporters
once attempjfed to : enter the union.
They almost succeeded but their
membership Sets were misplaced.
They were" later elected honorary
members'-as recognition for .their
knowledge of the union's creed.
And so it goes, i . "
It you cate to join call at the
Si I jrr J ; .
I The first thing you ftiow
tfie sucfers wi pe rno
ckint off c? parade:
union headquarters, " No-One-Homc JlXSt how yOlifeel c?ffer
Building, corner Fake avenue and become G mefftfief of
Poorhouse street."
Utopian Restaurant (With
Startling Prices Found
But Don't Wear.Out Your
Shoe ; Leather Looking
For ItBuy . a Rail
road Ticket Instead.
Looks like a death-blow to the
well-known h. c. of 1., doesn't it?
Notice' that theNdate is- right up to
date, too.
The foods are all of the best
quality, well cooked and served un
der conditons of absolute eleanli
ness. . , .
"But the name and address of this
Utopian restaurant 1" you shout.
Ah.es, to be sure. You want the
name and address. You want to
patronize it Is that not so? Yes,
yes. '
Well, it's in Chicago, at the pack
ing plant of Swift & Co. Take a
train to Chicago. Thert go to the
stock vards and turn to the left
11 find it. Get' a iob at
Swift s and you will be allowed to
cat in this cafeteria. It is operated
for employes only.
Meals are served at cost, but not
Menu fpr Opening Day
Plate Lunch 20c.
Lamb Stew with
v Dumplings
or
Pot Roast
Scalloped Potatoes
x Buttered Beets
Rolls or Bread
Premium
Oleomargarine
at less than actual cost. So, by
comparing these prices with what
you pay in your favorite restaurant,
you can figure what the proprietor
of your restaurant profits, or prof
iteers. Copies 6f this menu will NOT
be posted in the windows of Omaha
restaurants.
They will N-O-T.
Those who do not want Plate Lunch may select from
the following:
Lamb Stew with
Dumplings 10c
Pot Roast 10c
Scalloped Potatoes 5c
Buttered Beets 5c
Bread per slice lc
Oleomargarine
per piece lc
Potato Soup " '5c
I
Italian Rice
Apple Pie
Raisin Pie
Sago Pudding
Strawberry Ice Cream
Jonathan Apples
Coffee
Milk per bottle
Milk per glass
5c
5c
5c
5c
5c
4c
3c
5c
4c
Honor Guest at Bush .
League Movie Show
Delays Performance
The gold watch goes to Tom Col
lopy, popular young . salesman and
cue-ball spotter, for the most humor
ous incident since , the last time
Bryan ran for something in Wash
ington. , , ,
It all happened in a settlement
surrounded by sage' brush and dry
winds in the western part of the
state. ' Tom was' dragged into the
town on the milk special, he said and
after conversing some with - the
sheriff and the other townspeople",
was Invited to attend the moving
picture theater that night
AH the town folk and ranchers for
miles around gathered in the thea
ter.' A half hour passed and the
crowd was awaiting the begining of
the show.
The manager, doorman, janitor
and usher of the theater, all in one
person, calmly urged the spectators
to have patience. Another IS min
utes passed, and even. he grew irk
some, s '
"Wial, .peoples, jest hold on ter
yer seats until;I "send a messenger
after that there cky duke," the man
ager announced, quite energetically.
Several minutes later,. Tom was
found asleep at the hotel. He was
roused and requested , to report to
tVi. theater a honored euest at a
moving picture performance.
"Ain t 1 the lucky guyr was au
he could say. 5
; ; : ii lj ; ' - . ; : " . ,. , . - - . . . .... ;
Bouquet of Live, Human ; Interest Stories About People
u - Ml llll I Ifl ' I
' ' ' .... - . .
.1 J'. - i
Eligible Omaha, Bachelors
"Amicus human! generis," i.
. That is what Nathan Bernstein
And he's proud of it. ; f
It means if you have rforgotten
your Latin-r"A friend of man." -1
Nathan is as much at ease talking
to a college professor as to a cab
bage peddler. Ami he thinks just
as much of one as of the other.
He delights to be the guide
counselor and . friend" of hundreds
of youngjnen and women who were
his pupils while he was head of the
physics department of the Omaha -High
school. ' - ,
Well-named he has been. For was
not Nathan of old the counselor of
King David and the instructor of
King Solomon? "
This bachelor is one' of the most
many-sided (sounds odd, doesn't ii?
But it's perfectly grammatical) is
one of the most many-sided men
we know. v
' Many Sided Man.
A college professor who has be
come a very successful insurance
agent. ' ,
A former coach of tfie fcot ball'
team of the High" school and a
former member of the city library
board.
A bard who has written success
ful college songs for the State uni
versity and the Omaha High school.
''A poet whose verses have been
published in magazines.
-'An assistant publicity man for the
republican national committee at
Chicago in 1916.
A man deeply interested in labor
problems 'and at the same time
(shall we tell it? Yes, we shall) a
twanger of the mandolin.
. A chap who dances well (ask the
ladies, he says); who plays tennis
and who formerly excelled in the
two-mile run. .
A Great "Argifyer."
, Hesa great "argifyer" and can
argify on almost any subject under
the sun or beyond the sun. He has
spoken over a wide territory tor
the Liberty loans, Red Cross,
Roosevelt, drive and on social and
economic subjects.
' Biographically speaking, he was
born in Looeyville, Ky., moved to
New Albany, Ind., at the age of 5
and at the age of 11 to Omaha, ac
companied in both moves, of course,
by his parents and the rest of the
family.
'He was graduated from the
Omaha High school, and from Dart
mouth college, with two degrees.
" He founded the Dartmouth Alumni
' Association of the Plains. Then
came the events detailed above.
But in his longing to give service
and" be a friend to man he deter
mined live years ago that he must
- leave his position in the high school.
He then became general agent of
he National Life Insurance com
pany of Vermont and he says busi
ness is good, very good, mdeed.
The wide range tf his activities is
shown by the organizations to which
he belongs Omaha Hebrew club,
Omaha Athletic club, Masons, Scot
tish Rite Masons, B'nai B'rith, Sta
tionary Engineers union (honor-
- - Ar nena oi mn .
But alwavs he is a friend of man.
If a day passes on which he hasn't
Jon anvone eood no, .ho, don't
misunderstand us if day passes
VzMLi Bernstein
on which he hasn't done good to
anyone, he exclaims with Titus, in
high-brow Latin language, "Amici,
diem perdidil"
We almost forgot to remark that
his - great hobby is reading. He
reads everything from.i "Diamond
Dick" and "Old Sleuth" to, Kant's
"Critique of Pure Reason" and Will
iam James' "Pragmatism."
s He delights to read, "Bang! Bang!
Bang! Three shots rang out and
three more Redraen bit the dust,"
as much as he revels in Prof.
James' charming discussion of that
throbbing question, Is radical em
piricism solipsistic?" (What do you
think about it?)
But always he is a friend of man.
And "man," in this case, of course,
embraces "woman" also.
"7he women are all right,' he
says with deep and abiding convic
tion. I have, by no means, given
up hope yet."
He's all right, ladies. He lives
with his mother, sister Rose and a
nephew at 619 South i lurty-nrst
avenue. if"
Hurt Cranking Ford;
Cops Name Is Ford;
In Ford Hospital
By coincidence, an injured woman,
whose name was not learned by po
lice, ran the gauntlet of "Fords" last
Wednesday noon, after her arm had
been broken. The woman broke
her arm attempting to crank a Ford
motor at Sixteenth and Howard
streets. . Traffic Officer R. E. Ford
placed her in another Ford car and
took her to the Ford hospital,-where
Dr. M. J. Ford set the broken bone.
"I'll bet that woman's name was
Ford," the traffic policeman re
marked upon thought of the coincidence,
tir it T r
Wrinkles In oruces
Forehead Revealed
Altar Step to Roomy
The greatest event in the life of
Bnice .Bishoo.' a -popular figure in
the "Wow" building including the
"hold" several fathoms below sea
or street Jtvel, was circulated in fulL
blast among his friends. . ' ,
The event was- epochal in Bruce's
life. It was his v. marriage on Oc
tcber 29. But Bruce.didn't want "ho
publicity wats'ever" on the deal, he
said, for he didn't want his wife's
father's uncle's mother-in-law's eld
est child or someone else more im
portant toknow about it. ?
But the crime, er, er, happy event
came out through the , benedict's
own confession when persistent
acquaintances pestered the answer
out of him. " v
"I knw he looked -worried 'bout
sumthin'." his roommate remarked.
"'Cause he's got a couple wrinkles
on his forhead, an' I know he don't
drink coffee out of a saucer."
Anyhow, Bruce is happy.
Granted and admitted.
Avoid Secretary Who
Lost Hat at Rotary
Hallowe en Party
Rot'arians are hiding ' out these
days, because Secretary Ray Kings
lev is gunning for somebody.
The story goes that "Sec.'had
hut one suit. He wanted to dress
up for the Hollowe'en ball of the
Rotary club, so he changed nis. socks
and collar and bought a new hat.
The hat they say was green,
with colorful lining. - And in the
spree,' some demon made off with
"See's" new lid. All tnrougft-- tne
party, he had been hy-toning the
swallow-tails, and such, but, when st
came the time to pull stakes and
haul for home, Sec searched in vain
for ve new bolnet.
"I hope whoever got it will, please
always rub the nap one way and
never wear it out in the rain. Sec
is alleged to have tearfully moaned.
Waiters at the party said he walked
away sadly.
H. C. L. Puts Crimp in
Stylish Wardrobe, of
- Bluffs Heavyweight
'Old H. C. of L. surely goes hard
on the fat man these days, accord
ing to Lawrence Kelly, Council
Bluffs, who weighs "several pounds
over 200. Two hundred pounds isn't
much in itself, but what comes hard
is the way it is proportioned out on
your anatomy.
Lawrence ("Fat") has his great
est trouble in purchasing a suit of
clothes. Regular stock suits are com
pletely out of the question. Nothing
but tailor-made for "Fat". But there
is where the crepe and bad news
come in, namely, the price.
Tailors tell "Fat" they could
easily make him a suit for about
$150. '
"Isn't that nice." says Fat. - "111
fore I will spend a small fortune for
la suit" .
4
r A 8T1WQ BR fj
RECK AND BILL ENTER
GREATER AERl -OWTEST
WITH NOVEL MACHINE
Cozard Men Will Try for Bumble
Bee $1,000,000 Prize With
Goose-Power Aeroplane.
MARK 'NEW FLYING EPOCH
' The first two entrants in The
Bumble:" Bee's " great round-the-world-without-a-stop
aerial t derby
for $1,000,000 cash are Rick and Bill
of Cozad, Neb.1-
They . have notified ' General
Stinger of theif intention to enter
the contest and declare that they
will win the money.: "
Rick and Bill propose to circle the
globe in 24 hours 1 .
Their plan is a most unusual one.
It is best presented by their letter to
Gen. A. Stinger which is as follows:
Cozad, Neb., Oct. 28, '19. :
General A. Stinger,' i ' . '
Editor Bumble Bee.
Dear sir:
V In regard to the contest and
the million dollars. There won't
he any contest, but we ' want '
the million.
We are not aeroplane flyers,
but we are going to make a
heayier-than-air machine which
consists of a large platform cov-
ered with-boes. While the sea
son b open we are going to
catch a big flock of geese and
train them to fly west towards
the setting sun.
When we have them trained
we will fasten them to the plat
form by ropes, then when we
are ready to go we will turn
enough out to carry the plat
form and away we go; We ex
pect to keep enough in- reserve
so we can have part on the wing
while the balance eat and rest
By leaving here in the evening
as the sun is going down we will
follow it west and in 24 hours
we will be back here and the
trip around the world com-
- plete. We- can come down in
Omaha after the trip, but We"
would rather start from here as
Omaha is too wild for the geese.
Send up your man v with the
papers and part of the money as
we are sure to get it all anyway
and we will sign up and explain
to him how we want the mil-.
lion dollars.
Almost truly yours,
l V RICK AND BILL.
p. "S'. We doiit want in on the
ground floor as it will be easier
for us to start from the roof.
The plan of Rick and Bill is so
unusual that "General Stinger im
mediately called a meeting of the
executive committee at 'his office
to consider it. .. " .
"'The committee after a long dis
cussion decided that Rick and Bill
shall be permitted to enter the con
test witn their strange device.'
Strictly speaking they do riot
come within: the limits of the con
test as laid down by General Stinger
when he made his magnificent offer.
"Thp machine is heavier than air,
it is true." said the general when
interviewed in his palatial onices.
"But is it a machine? That is the
question. Messrs. Rick and Bill
propose to propel their, platform by
means of wild gees. Wild geese are
birds, not machines." -
"That is certainly a lucid analysis
which you have made, general,
said the reporter for . The Bumble
Bee. ,
."I have decided, however, to al
low Messrs. Rick and Bill to enter
the contest," continued the general.
"The committee consisting of Baron
Munchausen, P. T. Barnum. Mr.
Ananias, Dr. Cook and myself,
after weighty discussion, decided
that they should be permitted to try
for the prize because we feel, they
stand no chance of winning."
The general indicated that the in
terview was at an end and the re
porter respectfully withdrew.
It is believed that other entrants
will soon come -forward for the
great prize of $1,000,000 for a flight
arntmd the world without a stop.
General Stinger's- big offer is being
discussed in aero, circles throughout
the world. v
FUNNIADS.
(The Markonlura.)
Wanted A furnished room
by an old lady with electric
, lights. ' '
v A room by a young man with
double doors.
A lady To sew buttons on
the second floor of the bank.
An experienced nurse , for a
bottled baby.
- BANKERS AND BARBERS.
(Sumner Newe.) .
Banker Walker and wife of
Mason City visited Barber
Winters and wife Sunday.
Kidding the Ladies.
A school teacher at the Park
school entered the voting place at
Park and Wqolworth avenues last
Tuesdav afternoon. .
"Now, what is the first thing I
do?" she asked of one of the elec
tion judges whom she knew. A
twinkle came into his eye and he
replied solemnly:
"You wash your hands.
A wash bowl was in the voting
place and the school teacher began
to wash while the other election of
ficials almost "busted their buttons
with restrained mirth. It broke out
as the fair voter finished her ablu
tions. .rt " ...
"So you were' just -joking .me.
were you," she 'said. "Well. I had
heard of the purity of the ballot and
I did my part to make it pure.
His Name Goes Marching On.
(Fullerton News-Journal.)
Vernon Castle came home
from her school Tuesday even
ing with the grippe. She is re-
ported much better at this writ
ting. Funny, When You See It
Joseph Barker, bur popular insur
ance man, breezed into the law of
fice of Kennedy, Holland, Dee,
Lacy & Horan the other morning
with the query: . . .
"Well, how are' the United
Lawyers today?" - '
Lef f mgwell Stricken With
An Attack of Iridescence
Boss of the House Returns Feeling Cheerful, But His
Spouse Takes All the Joy Out of Life He Finds
. . T -r-r it. m i t
the Lane nas jno luriwng.
Some of the Things an
Automobile Salesman
Has to Contend With
Selling automobiles in Len In
gram's business ,fn Council Bluffs
and in making his many deals, vari
ous means and methods of trades
are oresented to him by the sales
prospect." His latest offer as part
of a trade comes from a farmer who
wants to trade in a team of mules.
"I have taken 'flivvers' irr all kinds
of shapes and other makes of -cars
in possibly' not as good as new' con
dition," says "Link," "but this one
wins when he wants to get about
$200 for a team of mules as part pay
ment on a regular automobile. It
would . be Iiard enough to find a
place to put them, let alone to try
and sell or wish them on some-bodj".
HX of L May Bring '
Skirts Much Higher
' in Omaha in November
i - ...
They're going to wear 'em higher
this winter, and theyr'e wearing 'era
up to the ah knees in the ast
now, according to Louie Nash of
Burgess-Nash company. . '
People are living very high in the
east at present, and. .dressing the
same way, too, he reports. He states
that he does not know whether the
Omaha skirts will follow the eastern
patterns to extreme degrees, but is
expecting the Omaha streets to be
come much, much more interesting
about November.
High shoes are to go with the
high skirts and high prices with the
high shoes. He does not believe,
however, that the recently initiated
naif-hose styles win De worn in con
junction with the ultra-modern
kirt i
Nothing Like Being
Fastidious Even in"
Last Fleering Hours
Some people are "real nice'' about
committing suicide, according to
Phil Keily, Council Bluffs, who re
cently returned from France. He
is now winning celluloid stoves and
crocheted .watches with his wild
tales of the' horrors of war.
Phil says that one of .the mem
bers of his outfit became despond
ent because he had lost his last
franc, and when the men started to
go to bed they found the young
man dead, his throat cut from ear
to ear. But the "nice" part about it
was that he had placed a large towel
around his neck so his shirt wouldn't
get all bloody an' everything.
Phil says he left a note request
ing that the shirt be sent back to a
friend in the state .
By EDWARD BLACK.
The Leffingwell hut was envel
oped in the alcoholic blues, or some
other form of mental enervation,
when Boss Leffingwell returned
from the day's work, his mind filled
with sublimated ideas of how to be
merry and playful, although "there
may be only cne ton of. coal in the
basement the garbage can falling to
pieces, and the price ol prunes going
up. He resolved on the way home
that he would thrust hjs propaganda
of cheer into the midst oi the Lef
fingwell home circle, and the more,
he turned the matter over in his
mind, the more he was impressed by
his own perspicacity.
The day had gone well with him,
(nr - mon hoA nairt harlr a borrowed
iui a " i'
dollar and he had. obtained seat
on a home-bound street ar. , .-He
felt equal to making' a transconti
nental nonstop flight if his name
had been called. He was' in oneof
those moods that -gives great
promise and nets small perform
ance. As he swung arouna tne
corner of his bed and board, with
his dinner pail at his side, ana num
ming, ' The Church in the Wild
wood," he heard" familiar voices in
the Leffingwell kitchen.
Clctods in the Sky.,' !
Mrs. Leffrngwell had not found
the day conducive to elation. In
stead of being the . apotheosis of
peace and poise, she was the last
word of jaded nerves when her
man and master appeared through
the kitchen portal and placed his
dinner pail upon a clean center
piece which she had spread on a
buffet to add a touch of refinement
to the scene. During the day her
temper had been tried when a
neighbor started a bonfire while she
was hanging her clothes on the
line. She was restrained from com
plaining about. the smoke because
this neighbor had been told in con
fidence the price ot a new nat, ana
she feared that an estrangement
would be equivalent to telling the
neighbors now mucn ner new mi
cost. , ...
"Why all of this gloom?" Letting-'
well asked, appearing more roseate
than at any time since he quit the
use of garlic. Mrs. Leffingwell was
putting the finishing touches on the
supper table, Mary was mashing the
potatoes in silence and Willie was
standing at attention.
And It Did Happen.
The grim expression on Mrs. Lef
fingwell's face indicated that some
thing was going to happen, and she
followed her custom of permitting
Henry to unwind himself. Mary
th nntatnps a fw pxtra mash-
es for effect and Willie stood in a
corner in mock penance.
"Here are. all of the material
things that go to make for physical
comfort," exilaimed the head of the
house," and yet we neglect the psy
chological side of life,- We miss the
sunshine that hould brighten every
meal, every hour. I come home
smiling and I find all, is darkness
within. We. must make our own
cheer. It "won't come to us, wrap
ped up in packages ready for in
stant use. We are too materialistic'
What we need is more home-made
cheer."
"How would some home-made
beer go, pa?" .chirped Willie from
his corner. . .
. You Bet They Do.
ThvrUv? otiH rheer beffin at
home," began Mrs. Leffingwell, get-
ting a Deaa.on. ner . cmei.-
myelin nnf tanri on all fours With
your works. You are out all day
among interesting persons anu
scenes, and here I am limited to the
four walls of this house, except when
I go over to see Mrs. What's-Her-Name,
or to the aid society. Instead
nf cprltirlincr vourself with a caper
every night after supper you might
give us a demonstration now anu
then of your abilities as a cheer
leader. I think, Henry, you should
have your blood pressure- tested
again. . '
"p- .,n'f D-nn rpnte 'The Face
Upon 'the Bap Room Floor,' or do
some triCKS Willi yaiuai y...
asked. '
m,V thnncrlit 'is." Leffinarwell
continued, undaunted, "that we are
all. inclined to become depressed by
the so-called unrest of the present
time: We need a revival ot cheer
fulness, courtesy and good will to
ward each other. We need a resto
ration of confidence in each other.
She Tells Him.
. Wpnrv Leffinff-
mi11 tVint th'1ar and time fnr vou
to begin is right here and now n
your own home. Why aont you
say something about this apple pie
that I baked for you this afternoon?
Why don t you comment on mc
clean curtains at the windows?"
"What's the matter, pa, are your
corns hurting you again?" was the
next interrogation from the male
progeny of the household.
Leffingwell began to realize the
soundness of his wife's position, so
he set about to contribute his quota
of animation to the evening meal,
after which he created a sensatio
by offering to dry the dishes. H
had to make good, and he did.
"Andthe next time you are feel
ing so. cheerful, don't . place your
dinner pail on the buffet," admon
ished Mrs Leffingwell, as they went
to the piano to join Mary in sing
ing, "Brighten the Corner Where
You Are."
Aftermath.
Sixteen men In Flnnegan's pU6. r
Ye-no and a bottle ot rum.
A very dry look In every face,
Ye-ho and bottle ot rum.
With laughter ay. tha walla resound,
And on by on the bar thay pound.
The harkeep buya the 17th round. -
Te-ho and a bottle ot rum.
Not a soul In Flnnemn'a place.
Te-ho and a bottle of 2.76.
A mournful look on Flnnegan'a l-.ee,
Te-ho and a bottle of aoda pop.
AndKlnne(an aaya: "I am aome chump.
For on the bar thera l no thump.
ril put a padlork on Mm Jump.
xa-no ana Dome oi eareaji