r
Xyj l Z fc f w a S y ,r M V ?L til t, J IV lz
The Omaha Sunday Bee
OMAHA, SUNDAY MORNING, OCTOBBR 5, 1919.
Now the war's over ami the
world's supposed to be safe for .de
mocracy, it's some startling the way
new kinks are turning up:
Seemed as though every kink in
Europe was either dead or down and
out before the Yanks quit breaking
the Hindenburg line, didn't it? And
here they, are, poppin' . up , again
right here in our own little demo
cratic west:
Old Ak is Different.
Of course, old Kink Ak has ruled
his merry followers one week a year
for a long, long time, but that's. dif
ferent. He's a real western king.
with democratic ideas. Then th"ere's4
Kink Corn whose kingdom extends
over many broad acres of the west,
and Kink Cotton of the south. This
rovalty we take for granted.
But now we have a kink who is
about to enter our happy domain
who's a regudar kink, with kingdom,
crown n'all that. What's more he's
bringing his queen along to look
us over! Some class, what? -You
Bet He is.
And didn't fate play right into our
hands by sending us GenerafWood,
ahead oftime so we'd learn how to
act when the Belgian rulers get
here? Aid isn't - Leonard- some
king, even if he isn't crowned? Well
rather! .'
A single wave of his hand aid the
carnival was closed. Another wave,
a little more majestic this time, and
Ak-Sar-Ben's parages , were post
poned. A third wave" and the car
nival was 'reopened. .And never a
protest. Some king,' is Leonard 1.
But to get back to kink Al, of
Bejgium and his queen, Liz. Omaha
should be iii fine trim to give 'em a
reg'lar reception when they arrive..
It Will' be Some Bow.
'Tis said that acting Mayor Ure
will bear the brunt of the reception
in case the mayor is still disabled.
Fancy Mr. L're making a portly
bow, whatever kind of a bow that is.
to his majesty and while ..bended
shout joyously: '
"Welcome, your highness! The
city is yours." Or whatever he Js
supposed to say to a real live kink.
No doubt Mr. Ure is at this min
ute buried in volumes of. court eti
quette. If you meet him on the
street and he bows low and mutters:
"All hail, your majesty,''' or some
thing like that, don't misjudge him.
He's merely rehearsing his part for
the reception.
- . Fancy "Buck" Bowing. '
As' the kink has expressed a de
sire to visit the stock yards, E.
Buckingham will also be preparing
for his highness. And here serious
complications arise. Can Mr. Buck
ingham bow as one should bow to a
real kink? One of thtyse back breaking
bows that bring -your nose within a
foot of the floor?. Still. Mr. Buck
ingham is a resourceful man his
bow may be as low as Mr. lire's.
John W. Gamble, president of the
Chamber of Commerce, a supple
man, is expected to be most adept
when it comes to bowing. But
bows aren't everything in welcom
ing royalty. Our efficient state de
partment at Washington has advised
that their majesties' slightest wish
must be considered., -
' Show Her the Pest House.
An advance notice states that the
queen desires to inspect our hos
pitals. What could be sweeter than
to have our little artist, D. Powell,
show ner highness through the well
known citv pest house?
Was he' not there himself for over
a month?
. Yes, royalty may expec real en
tertainment when it visits Omaha.
A! T aste o f R e gen erati on
Enough for "Weary Willies''
Humfroldt Farmer Took Them From Omaha .Mission,
. Fed Them Chicken and Pie and Paid Them $5.00
a DayBut the Wanderlust Impelled Them On
. Ward. . . ' ,
J. O. Shroyer of Humboldt, Neb.,
who is one of the state directors of
the Farmer' union, while on a visit
here, related one of the experiences
he had during the harvest season.
He has lived on the same farm be
tween Humboldt and Stella 40 years,
and while his sons have active man
agement of the. farm, .he retains a
proprietary interest. Says he:
"During the recent harvest season
1 needed help, on, the farm, so I
came to Omaha and applied to the
Mid-West Gospel missjon, where
two men were referred to me. These
men said they were willing to go to
Humboldt, and would'pay their. own
fares. ' We got , off of the train at
Stella and Irengaged an automobile
to take them out to the farm. I
could see they were of the class
generally known as bums, but they
(aid they would stick thorough the
harvest with me, so I took a chance.
told Mrs. Shroyer to feed them the
besj we had, so she gave them fried
chicken and pie and our little atten
tions seemed to appeal to them. One
of the men was about 50 years and
the other about 25. They said they
had roamed around the country to
gether for five years The younger
man told me that his pal talked like
an I? W. W-, but he wanted me to
be sure that he was not an I. W. W.
"They agreed to work 10 hours a
day for 50 cents an hour. And they
certainly did work for the best that
was in them. Sunday afternoons,
when I would go to Humboldt to
visit my parents, I left them on the
farm alone and did not even lock
the house. A new Ford was in the
barn, and I found that- by letting
them know that I trusted them, they
appreciated that feeling of confi
dence which I had shown. When we
returned home from our Sunday af
ternoon visits, we found that they
had milked the eows, brought in
wood and did other little chores
which they did not have to do. I
to!d-my neighbors about the luck I
had with my' harvest help, and
when they were through at our
place a neighbor who was much in
need of some help offered them 75
cents an hour, but they declined.
They evidently had the wanderlust.
They explained that they were go
ing to the North Dakota harvest
fieldsT They just had the migratory
inclination in their veins and were,
unable to stay long in one place.
And away they went, but 1 was con
vinced that a little kindness it a
good investment even when hiring
farm "help of this class."
Chief of Detectives
' Aspires to Honors
. as Cliff Dweller
Chief of Detectives' Dunn is fos
tering hopes of organizing an Alpine
Mountain Climbing club" among his
proteges. The plot or plan take
your choice was devised following
a wild chase through the cliffs and
.mountainous regions of First and
Cedar streets after three imaginary
banditti.
By mistake, the chief of detectives
and several of his gang, including
Charlie Van Deusen, Paul Haze and
Al Lundeen, motored until the mud
became deep, to a brick yard almost
in the river instead of to a bridge
company presumably somewhere
else.
With heavy artillery in their
hands and enough ammunition to
cause the police force worry, Chief
Dunn nd hi gang weaved through
culverts, up, up, up unbroken trails
and along tall cliffs, with n6 ban
dits in sight. The topography, of
the vicinity inferred there was even
no evidence of any human being
ever having been there, and the de
tective gang gave up the chase.
Bouquet of Live, Human Interest Stories About People
Offered to Buy Store Boss
Objects to Clerk Taking Nip
The Man From York Went Broke, ancTthe Clerk Camel
to the Front for Him Next Day When He Got
His Wad He Was Duly Grateful.
i V I S Ml m si 5Tv
r A . STINGERS ft- J) J
J leAvas the kind of a man of whom
you have read as buying up the (en
! tire shebang, hotel or store, when
. some employe failed to please him.
-- just in oraer to ure me man.
And he was the kind of a man who
looked the part, if you know what I
nuan, as they have taken to saying
lately in the Saddy .Post stories.
This time he wanted' to buy out
. the tobacco shop a order to give
; ' hit friend , the .clerk, a drink, the
clerk being reluctant about accept
ing his hospitality owing to the pres
". -1 ence of the proprietor. :.'
It was 10:30 at . night, . here in
j v Omaha. The place was the tobacco
store. The clerk had nothing to do
V tor about 10 seconds, and had a good
;t art on a sigh of relief at having a
moment's surcease from peddling ci
gars and doing the.' Paderewski on
the cash .register when the light
- ' from the street was suddenly shut
'off by theadvent of a bulky sjiape
.- in the doorway. s '
It was, a man, and he looked lijce
Guiliver's great grandson. Bending
s low and turning sidejvise" he edged
- in. The clerk gave him a quick
sie-up, observed his extensive di
v iitensions and the size of his
" mouth, and opined . secretly that a
, ' manwith a mouth big enough to
" take a 10-cent chaw for a small bite
would have a. voice - to rattle the
;. ' cobblestones. ;
' The clrk was right. When the
man spoke it became apparent that
his voice was not only there, but "his
- breath was also. The voice scared
". . the bubonic plague out of all the
rats for v block around , apd the
fusel oil on his breath curled the
. warppers on the Pittsburg stogies
ou the counter.
"Say,"he roared, leaning over the
counter as if to ooze a confidential
whisper.; "J'm from York, and. I
: want some -money.
"Good boy," said" the clerk,
; . . "what's the rest of the proposition?"
, ' The man K from York flashed
( a pin set with '11 diamonds. The
' " tflerk took one look at it. The. pin
v v i r was' no Eskimo souvenir. .It was
. genuine possibly, $15 worth.
".s.. Sn voiim from Yorkr ones-
- . . :i j . , , -1 . . r
-." Tl:lll!CU UJC CJCllW. CYC1I1K IUC Dill lTUIH
r various angles, The-clerk, it may
4 be interpolated, knows all about
. V ' .'.York and Yorkers, but the current
leviathan didn't happen to be listed
' tn his own personal, who's , who. "I
" suppose : you know Al R g," he
- questioned.-. .
, , -Right oyer the plate rumbled the
- waSfroni York. "Know him and
. ' his'i blinkety-blink-blank; bowlegged
' --. brothit. Go right on through the
- c'irwrtory' brother, I'll trail you, I'll
, trail you.1! ? -. ;
. t..X-oh', it happened that Joe. a third
. '" WJChM- ofvthe first named "Al" was
K y 1 ' iii.t-tnly in Omaha himself, but had
w "J the tigar only half an hour
. before, and at that moment was
' ,", i in ' hijj, hotel "only three blocks
wajrsThe cleric so informed the
, jTne mail grinned. He asked
.'or themumber of the hotel. Got it,
V'f , ;"d called op J6e.
, , ;v -'"Feno- Joe." said beY "this is Bill.
X-' -vV ' "Ms' morning... I'hj around
t V : r-'g store.1 Got gome
Jsvr tniniTtes Tor turned n
v2' from i-iork got his
,V sses-dlhey hd interviewed.
N, T V ,'"","I,"S' aim-'-
ljte clerk in on i . -
tfertainlyi
v V
. I'" '
Well, anyhow, al Bobby Gaylor
used to say in "The Little Arab." the
next afternoon about 2 o'clock the
man from York appeared at the
cigar store again. He was smil
ing' all around his mouth, which
made considerable smile, believe
me. as the girl says four times in
every sentence. v
"You're a good scout," said he to
the-clerk. "I've got some more
have some." ;
The clerk scratched his - head,
glanced hesitatingly toward - the
back of -the s.tore, and winked his
eye."
"Sure enough," said the man. He
peered toward the back of the shop,
and1 lowered his voice to 'a whisper;
that is. he let it down until it it
couldn't be heard more than four
blocks. "Is she a good looker?"
"It's the boss,", explained tht
clerk. , . " .
."T'ell with him," roared the man.
"Trot him out."
The "boss' emerged from the
rear. His expression indicated that
he had come to ascertain who had
fired the Big Beftha in ,the front.
. "I want to give this old timer a
drink,"-explained the man from
York. "What's the kick?"
"It's hardly customary," explain-,
the boss. - v 1
"We'll change the custom." said
the man from York. "I'm going to
give this man a drink or. bust. How
much for-the joint?"
, The boss smiled. It was. one of
those highly sarcastic smiles which
under ordinary circumstances
Would shrivel a man, up like a green
persimmon.
"It-would take slightly more than
$10." Tie said .softly, with a grim
glance around at 'the overloaded
sheves.
The man from York didn't shrivel
5 cents worth.
Instead he took a roll of bills from
his pocket.- and flattened it on the
cdrner. tl made a bale about two
and a half inches higTi.
"Say when," he . said, beginning
to count. They were all yellow
boys.
The . proprietor capitulated and
waved'his hand to tile clerk. "All
right, he said. "Ill take a cigar
for mine." - ,.
What's the windup? -
About 10 o'clock that night the
big fellow lumbered in. He leaned
over the counter. He winked his
eye, " grinned, and- laid a S-cent
nickle on the pad.'
"Where's the wad?" queried
Voltr. ,
"Story's copyrighted," said the
man from York. "Gimme a smoke.
Im going home." '
TrniTDR r a T
The Btmble Bee again is in the
vanguard of advanced thinkers on
one of. the Vexing problems of mod-
lifer-what to do for automobil.-.-f for Ohio where they .spent about
storing space in the downtown dis
trict. -
The Bumble Bee has a solution
which will keep all automobiles
from being stored irf' the .streets and
leave these highways open for traffic-as
they should be.
The. plan is to have the citybuy
all the ground between Douglas and
Harney streets and between Four
teenth and -Seventeenth streets, re
move the buildings' and throw this
space open for automobile storage.
This property could be purchased
probably , for about $50,000,000 and
then the removal of the buildings
could be done. x
Think of the fine amount of
space this would provide for the.
storage of automobiles. No more
cluttering up of the streets with the
cars! Plenty of room!
Strange that no one ever thought
of this solution before, it is not?
We Often Thought So.
"Down-Stairs ' Values at Up
Stairs Prices,- says a display card
in a local shop window.
Wonder What the Parson Meant?
Cuming County Democrat.)
In a letter from Rev'. L. JT
-Powell at Washington, 111., he
states that the purse of" money
which was prescntedto him at
the farewell reception when he
left Grace Lutheran:? church, .was
used. to "purchase just as good a
davenport as that amount of
money can buy in these ' times.'.'
About ' two weeks after they
reached i Washington, 111., . Rev.
and Mrs. Powell and t Alice " left
two weeks with his toiks. iney.
arc now back in Illinois ready to
begin their work..
y
PERSONALS.
You probably don't - "take." the
London Times, but you can enjoy
the "nutty" ads in the personal col
umn of that great daily. Here are
a few which The Bumble Bee has
clipped out'for your'amusement: .
1 Preparing for your return. Anilous ?
BULL Thinking of you.
Bunnle.
Send-address.-
BAKERLOO Tube Still away.
Should like to see you. Elsie.
Write.
C-A. Will sender, of cake from Pjquebot,
Southampton, through Cox's, please en
lighten B. E. T. ? Box K-392, The
Times. , 1
MET A And the purple
ground. Omega.
flower is on the
Al. MACHINE burst Into flames 2100 Sun
day, and was totally destroyed 26 miles
from Edinburgh. P.
50. MANY happy returns, it.
SUBALTERN (Regular), public school boy,
on sick leave, would like HOME for five
months Box C-443, The1 Times. .
YOUNG offii-er (gentleman), no means,
requires PERMANENT HOME and good
JOB. (Immediate demobilisation.) H
apologizes for wanting to live. Box U
434. The Times. ,
DESP-ERATUM Officer, embarassed, too
hontst. ' og, too proud borrow, wants
EARN 100 quickly. Who'll employ him,
evenings only? Box U-457. The Time;.
HUIi
pin
k.
this time.
one white. PRINTEMPS.
Two
ST. WRITE plans;
love abiding. M.
know all, have no feaj-.
LADY. (39) ' very lonely, would like to
MEET ANOTHER similarly placed In
London to become friends. Box Y-843,
The Times. "
BILL. You've set me longing to see you
again. " '
WHITE Star Previous
early if in town. X.
letter
X.
lost ; phone
WEDNESDAY,, April 2d, 6:05 p. m., Pad-,
dlngton to Reading. Should like to see
you again. "B," Box 6911, 28 Oxford
street, W. ' ' . .
THE Greater. You may consider you are
' top dog, but wait. The Lesser.
"TWO Bachelors'" who recently advertised
for a- domestic Housekeeper, thank the
' 67 applicants for their offer of services,
bul regret that no more Individual re
pllcs can be made.
B. RETURNED Thursday after very
pleasant trip. G. .'
NINETTE. I miss you terribly, but look
forward to- the day wlien you will join
me and when there will be no more
-, parting. Adrlenne.
THE DIFFERENCE.
Only a step from vandalism to
jieroism. If the youth who led the
charge up the steps to the third floor
of the- court house and was killed,
had been doing the same thing in the
var h?'d be a hero.
Gosh'Durn 'Em.
t An old-fashioned horse-and-buggy
throve past Sixteenth and Farnam
streets t'other day. A twin six, two
Fords and a Chandler roadster
stampeded at the unusual sight and
became unmanageable. Drivers of
such rigs should be careful on the
streets. Always should stop when
they see signs of restiveness in ap
proaching automobiles. . . '
Buiiding a jail on top' of a million-7
dollar court house has advantages
arfti then again itjias disadvantages.
. Civilization is only veneer-deep.
Two Papers Ought to
Consult the Sheriff
About These Pigeons
Stife of Spooners Hits
Cupid's Work on Joy Rides
- .- .
Young Man From Omaha on Visit to Kansas City
Takes .Girl Out For Ride, Kisses Her, and Both
Are Arrested. ' .
- Missed Again.,
On the range a' party of recruits
v-ere firing their first course. The
sergeant in charge noticed that one
of them, a man named. Smith, was
missing the target eve.ry'ttme.
At last,, quite fed up. with the
man's bad firing, the sergeant went
across to .him and told him ,to go
and sncot himself., ; '
The man , disappeared. tA few
seconds later, a, report "'.was.; heard
from the spot' where Smith had gone
to. The sergeant hurried 'to (the
spot and shouted:- ... 1
"Are'yoiKthere..'"Smitlv"y J
. 'es. sergeant, came .the reply.
! I've missed again." . . t
'.-.,
Kansas City, Mo.. Oct. 4. (Spe
cial.) If it is 'really' love that makes
the world., go 'round, the revolu
tions of this mundane sphere have
been somewhat slackened by Kan
sas City's Stife of Spooners. Be
ginning early in August, when the
so-called good old summer time was
still in effect, police commissioners
issued a stern edict against any
demonstration of affection in public.
And that meant pretty nearly any
where, desperate . spooners found.
Searching for any shady lanes or
.nooks, secluded from motorcycle
cops, has been love's labor lost
The conflict of cops and cupids
began when the sensibilities of John
R. Ranson, a police commissioner,
were offended by the actions of -a
couple sitting in a motet car out-,
lege, it was a low trick to call it
all ..off. And as luck and Venus
would have it the Judges of the
municipal .counts sympathized with
the forlornly amorous. . They were
still young men, some of the judges,
'Justice Cas Welch, for. instance.
came right out and announced in
the papers, and they were strong
for Romeos.
: i. Judge Won't 'Fine 'Em.
'Thereupon the judges declared
they would fine rto one t for the
"crime" of spooning, even, if the po
lice had dug up some ancient old
Pilgrim FatheYs ordinance in sup
port of their order. And the judges
lived up to their words.. All inno
side a moving picture theater. The
couple were embracing and mur
muring sweet nothings, oblivious o
the "madding throng." Perhaps Mr.
Ranson preferred seeing it on a
screen. , Anyway, the next day he
went and got out a mean "no spoon
ing" order. ,And he commanded all
his policemen to enforce it, threat
ening with dire penalties all who
might allow themselves to drift the
way of all the world which, loves a
lover. . ( 1 "
Can't Do Both.
Those who .motored and spooned
simultaneously were named as an
especial object of this police decree.
And in this specification the bulk
kof the populace concurred, particu-
isriy me ptuesirians, js a reporter
on the Kansas "City Star expressed
it "You cannot safely embrace a
lady and a Ford- at the same time.
There is often enough trouble with
either , alone," , ,'
'But in general, the order wis the
object , of a-torrent of .opprobrium
and aspersions. ' A spooner, like
anyone, else, felt that after a fellow
had worked hard for a special privi
cent balers and cooers brought into
6 '-.'.,$ t '
J
court were discharged' at once. In
only one case there were fines. And
these fines .were not for spooning,
but, laek of chivalry, the judge said.
TheyOung men if two couples
taken" to the police station for
spooning used what money they had
t bail themselves out of jail for the
night. They 'permitted the two
young ladies, to whom a few short
hours ago they had pledged undy
ing fidelity, to remain in jail until
discharged in court the nex' morn
ing.' ' . ,
Next, the police commissioners
retaliated to counteract the leniency
of the municipal judges by raising
the spooning 'ante. Bonds for
spooners, which previously had been
$26, were hoisted to $$01 for men,
and $101 for the weaker sex. ' This
proved to be a cruel stroke. Before
the judges could discharge spooners,
tose unfortunates must-needs cool
th'eir ardor in deep, dark dungeons.
Spooning at the price of those bond
was practically prohibitive. The
fancy of most of the young men in
volved had turned to love, not high
finance.
Omaha Youth "In Bad." '
And the high cost of spooning
did not apply only to- the domestic"
variety. There proved to be a duty
on the imported, spoons as wellN A
young man, 6n a visit from Omaha,
took a yeung lady out for a motor
car ride. . Tc p'ut her at her ease,
or-jbe polite or amething, the young
man kissed the young lady. At this
moment the "spooners' nemesis,
Lieut. Albert Keyes of the motor
cycle , squad, whomrmauy a. Kansas
City 'suitor would like" to see tied
hand and "foot with lovers' knots
and fed to turtle doves, approached
and arrested the ,biidding romance.
The girl fainted at the police sta
tion, arousing the pity7 of even a
Sheriff Mike Clark, has received
from a Canadian expert full plans
and specifications for the construc
tion of. a scientific pigeon loft.
Mike is a great pigeon fancier
and his special variety is the hom
ing pigeon which fijjds its home
from a distance of hundreds ,; or
thousands of miles.
"It's a most wonderful thing,"
says Mike. "To think of turning
a pigeon loose in Salt Lake City
and that it will find its way back
to Omaha. And not only that, but
it will find its way unerringly to
its own loft after it reaches this
city.
"I never get tired speculating on
how it does this. No human. .being
even of the highest order ,of in
telligence could do that. We might
find our way by inquiring of other
people but we couldn't , just get up
in the air in an airplane . and fly
straight home. The pigeons must
have some sixth sense that human
beings 'lack, which enables them
to find their way.
"Of course thev have to be
trained. We take them out when Elmer Ames Cope has been per
they are young and let them fly tectly able to cope with every prob
back from, a distance of about a lem oi lite except the marriage
mile. -Even that is remarkable, problem. ! . . .
Then we take them five miles. Then j He coped with the public schools
perhaps 20 miles and so gradually i at his birthplace, Streator, 111., and
Eligible Omaha Bachelors
work up to the great distances."
Mike gets expert homing pigeons
from the expert breeders. He has
some from Philadelphia and other
distant, points. '
Maybe He Needed .
Haircut, But Judge
t Couldn't Say Same
Judge - Fitzgerald, whose dry huj
mor in police court has caused
many a laugh and sent many a man
to the ceells with a smile on his
face, received a severe jolt, of his
own making, at a recent session of
the court ,
Everyone who has attended the
court is aware
veeetation surmountincr
the Jovial interoreter of the law In
cidentally, the fact is a tender point
with the judge. , -
Recently Attorney Frank Jamie
son defended1', a case before 'the
judge, and hung around till court
was closed to question the judge
upon some . point. Mr. Fitzgerald
fixed his interrogator with a: steady
stare, and after some moments remarked:
"When you die, if you ever do, I'
am going to have your hair cut.
Seems nobody will tackle it while
you're alive.". - V ..
The stare was duly returned, and
without delay his fellow-citizen said:
"Maybe so, but, you'll admit, that
kind of a job will never be done for
you Jealousy was never a worthy
attribute."
coped successfully with the three
famous Rs. leaving them in a
state of collapse and wreck with
il their knowledge in his head.
In fact he coped so successfully
with the ,:R" which stands for 'Rith
metic that he became an expert
bookkeeper and, ' having attained
the ripe age of 19 years, he came
to Omaha and. on January 1, 1898,
became a bookkeeper and clerk for
the Trans-Mississippi Grain Co.
y You Bet He Accepted.
He roped so successfully with the
books of that concern that the Up
dike Grain company offered him the
treasurership of its company which
he accepted on August 1, 1899.
After coping with , this job and
also being manager of the elevator
department of the company for a
number of years, Mr. Cope decided
to cope with business on his own
hook. And now at 406 South Nine
teenth street you can see on a
window the words, "Cope Kear
ney, Grain Merchants." . '
That's Elmer.
He's All of That.
Elmer is de'bonnair,' a "hale fel
low well met," a boon -companion '
outside of business hours, a club
man.-
He belongs to the Omaha club
(where he lives in bachelor apart-'
ments), the Country club, the Field
club, the Chamber of Commerce and
other clubs. .
Elmer drives his high-powered car
like the heroes in the movies. " He is
"a wonderful dancer," the girls say;
His men friends say he is "a won
derful poker pkyer."
Neither Did We.
He is a disciple of Lucullus. What,
You never heard of Lucullus? He
was the old guy in ancient Rome
that was strong for the eats. Gavev
feasts, y'know. where they had one
thousand (1,000) different dishes.
' Well, Elmer likes to cope with the
"eats." Yea, verily. He likes that
thick, juicy beefsteak and those pate,
de fois gras and all that. 1
But he doesn't seem to be able to
cope with Cupid. f
However and nevertheless, he may
do so some time.
But What If Gasey
Never. Gets Close to
Those Golden Gates?
The following is an extract taken
from an I. W. W. snnsr hook. wliirh
f thXTof hirsute WaS found 0n the Pe"on f p
: of the lack of hirsute , t t, ; .
mounting the dome of
The workers on the B. P. line to strike
sent out a call,
But Casey Jones, the engineer, he wouldn't
strike at-all.
His boiler, it was leaky, and his drivers
on the. bum.
His enRint and his bearings were all out
' of plumb.
CHORUS.
t'asuy Jones kept his Junk pile running,
Casey Jones, wag working double time,
Casey Jones, got a wooden medal,
. For being goo and faithful on the S.
P. line.
The workers said to Casev, Won't you
help to win this strike?"
But Casey said, 'et me alona, you'd
better take a hike.'
Then someone put a bunch of ties, across
the railroad track
And Casey hit the river with an awful
crack.
Casey Jones hit the river bottom, -. "
Casey Jones broke his blootnlu' spine,
Casey Jones was an angellno.
Took a trip to heaven on the S. P. line.
When- Casiy Jones got up to leaven, up
to the pearly gate.
He. said. "I'm Casey Jones, the guy that
pulled the S. P. freight."
"You're just the man," said Peter, "Our
musicians went on strike,
"Tou can get a job a-scabblng any time
you like."
' Casey Jones got a Job In heaven,
Casey Jones was doing mighty fins.
Casey Jones went scabbing on she-
angels, ,
Just like he did to workers on the 8.
P. line.
The angels got together and they said It
wasn't fair,
For Casey Jones to go around. a-scaBblng
everywhere.
The Angels Union Number ??, they sure
were there. '
.id tlwy promptly fired Casey down the
Golden Stair.
Casey Jones went to hl! a-flylng.
"Casey Jones," the devil said. "Oh,
fine,
"Casey Jones, get busy shoveling sul
phur. That's what you get for scabbing on
the S. r. line.
Liery Stable Not
So Easy to Find
A Few Years Ago
as
professional bondsman, who bailed
her out. But- the young man so
jrjurned in jail over Sunday and
Labor Day,-until the court sat
Tuesday, and the judge could allow
him to make ""all speed back to
Omaha, where life, liberty and the
pursuit of happiness are still counte
nanced. To such a pass are armorous
matters come in Kansas City to
date. And there all spooning must
end in deadlock or wedlock, it
seems, at least until winter arrives,
and spooning becomes once more
an indoor sport.
"Where can I find a livery stabler"
Sounds funnjt doesn't it, but come
to think of it look around and see
how many garages have taken the
place of the homes for horses. Pat'
Boyle,, newspaper reporter, is taken ,
by many of his friends to be an in- -
formation bureau ami the above
question was asked him by one of
his friends who led a pony io the
steps of the Central police station,
where Pat obtains his news.
"I got a pony and don't know
where to put it,"-he exclaimed. It's
a cinch you can't put him in here",.
Pat replied. After considerable in-,
vestigation Pat located a place to
put the peny. -
Fat Man In Bluffs Is ;
Human Paper Baler ;
And Likes His Job
Walter E. Harkert of Council
Bluffs, weighs almost 200 pounds
and because of the fact he is mak- C
ing and saving money for his shoe
store. A paper baler is not at all
necessary in this establishment.
"Walt" takes the place.of it.
Every morning Walt can be ob
served in the rear of the store
jumping up and down, in a box
crushing boxes ind paper much
better than an ordinary, baler could
ao. ne says it is Helping him to
reduce and it also saves the expes
ot the store.
,vji'Vi.