Nebraska Newspapers

    THE DCjCjZ UJUAHA, MUflUAI, aw uawumii " -ay"
The Omaha Bee
DAILY (MORNING) EVENINGSUNDAY
FOUNDED BY EDWAKD KOSEWATEB
VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR
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JUNE CIRCULATION
Daily 64,611 Sunday 61,762
Arerage circulation for the month aubecrtbed and sworn ta h
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Subscriber leaving 111 city ahould bav The Be mallad
to them. Addreaa changed often a requested.
, , ,
You should know that
Omaha was one of the first large
cities of the United States to adopt
the commission form of government.
The weatherman certainly has been good to
his boss.
Good morning, Mr. President; we're glad
to see you.
The socialist conference at Chicago has en
dorsed the Plumb plan, if it needed any further
identification.
"Treat 'em rough" seems to be the motto
of the local police. It is is getting some of
them into litigation, however.
Merchants' week starts today with promise
of even greater attendance than ever. The
"market town" idea is spreading.
Serbia has discovered that the treaty framed
for Austria infringes on Serbian sovereignty.
This is really getting to be serious.
The Italian Chamber of Deputies has voted
to give woman the suffrage, evidently not hav
ng heard from the Alabama legislature.
Will the power to declare war be left with
congress, or shall we leap to arms at the "ad
vice" of the supreme council of a supernational
body?
If you want to know where the partisan
ship comes in the debate on the peace treaty,
read the yawpings of the administration organ
grinders.
For a splendid example of how the economic
boycott will work, look at the restraint it put
on Roumania in the matter of the invasion of
Hungary.
Old King Corn is coming down the home
stretch now, well ahead of Jack Frost, but
speeding to the safety line with all energy.
May he win!
The Bee does not relish loss of patronage
any more" than any other big business institu
tion would, but dollars spent by profiteers will
not turn it from defense of the right.
Marquis Saionji, who headed the Japanese
delegation i at the Paris conference, reports at
home that all nations are dissatisfied with the
oeace treaty. Why not try it all over again?
Well, the United States did get along pretty
well for 143 years "playing a lone hand," as the
president puts it, and might survive a little
while if it did not go into the European jack-pot.
Germany is lending aid and comfort to the
forces of law and order in Russia just now, but
this 'will not cause anyone to forget the fact
that it was the Germans who set bolshevism
up in business.
"Vic" Berger says all he ever got out of his
connection wih the socialist party's executive
committee was a twenty-year sentence. He is
wrong; he did not get the sentence for being
a socialist, but for talking like a darned fool.
Do not overlook this point: Senators are
not opposing a league of nations; they merely
seek to clarify certain essential provisions in
the draft presented by the president, who
strenuously resents any change in the language
be has adopted or limitations to the obliga
tions thereby entailed. That is the real issue.
"Only those who have not read, or who
cannot understand" is the way the president
disposes of the opponents of his plans. Yet he
admits that the clause concerning the Monroe
doctrine was hastily written. Most of his trou
ble is that the people have read and do under
standi and are not willing to take his word
for what the treaty contains.
On With the Dance
In his prjvate and tutelar capacity, no per
son is more awe-inspiring than the teacher of
dancing; but when he holds forth as the Na
tional Association of Dancing Masters he
seems somehow less formidable. Quite boldly
we call him to order for asserting that he, per
sonally and collectively, is about to do away
with, "that contortion commonly called the
'shimmy,' " as he has already abolished its
zoological predecessors. No one, and least of
all an association of dancing masters, ever
abolished bad taste. If it passes, becomes ob
solete, the credit is due to the public. -And
the public stands in need of that credit, for it
alone is responsible for the original lapse. If
this great principle is denied, democracy itself
is deprived of its one great justification.
The name of the dance in question is as
objectionable as the thing itself. Both have
been mainly limited to dance halls and to the
stages that emulate them. They should be
buried-, without a hie jacet. But bunny-hug,
lame duck, turkey trot, and grizzly bear had
at least a certain picturesqueness, of mimicry
and of nomenclature. America would be less
itself, less delightful, if it did not possess them
as a part of its historic past The dancing
masters prediction that the waltz if coming
back stirs one a little, but for a different rea
son. The waltz is divine and, in one or an
- other of its infinite varieties and modulations,
it will return eternally as often as it wanders.
New York Time.. ,
WELCOME, MR. PRESIDENT.
The visit to any community from the presi
dent of the United States.it a matter of great
moment He represents in himself the majesty
of the mighty nation, all the powers of organ
ized government, and the spirit of the institu
tions that make America great . He is the
personification of all the fla stands for, and
as such receives the just regard of all patriotic
citizens, without regard for party. It is not ex
pected, nor ia it desirable, that all should agree
with him on political questions. But as Ameri
cans we all honor and respect him as occu
pant of the greatest office to which man may
be called. Mr. Wilson's presence in Omaha
today is timely for several reasons, not the
least of them being the opportunity it will af
ford for the splendid army of Young America,
the children of the public schools, to see the
president. To them, and to the foreigners
newly come amongst us, it should be an ob
ject lesson. Viewed from any aspect, the com
ing of the president is an occasion of utmost
public importance. Omaha has been singularly
fortunate of late years in the matter of receiv
ing such visits, and has learned to wholly ap
preciate them. Mr. Wilson will find here a
cordiality and loyalty ci greeting that will
assure him he is among loyal Americans.
More he could scarcely wish.
The Bee and the Boycott
Certain Omaha real estate dealers and rental
agents have determined to exert "economic
pressure" on The Bee by withholding their ad
vertising patronage until The Bee desists from
exposing the rent boosters and allied profiteers.
The wisdom of this course is left to their deci
sion. The editor of a newspaper must always
proceed with a due regard for the welfare of
the community he serves, having also in mind
that sufficient revenue must be obtained
through patronage to meet operating expenses.
These facts are elementary.
To deserve and retain the respect of its
readers, without which it cannot fulfill its mis
sion, a newspaper must be devoted to a prin
ciple. The Bee was born to carry on a fight
for good government in Omaha. For forty
eight years it has never deviated from that pur
pose. A, search of its files will not disclose a
word of apology for a dishonest public official,
nor in defense of corruption' in public or private
life. It has attacked abuses in both public and
private plactjg. It has fearlessly criticized and
boldly opposed the unfit, without regard for
party politics or personal pull.
After almost half a century of steady sup
port 'of the right, of opposition to fraud and op
pression, of effort to secure clean and efficient
government, and to expose crookedness and
graft in interest of the people, The Bee is not
ready at this time to give over the fight. Its
courage has made many powerful enemies,
and it also has made many staunch friends, who
we know may be depended on to back up the
only Omaha newspaper that refuses to be
coerced or cajoled into covering up any kind of
crookedness menacing the people.
What Does Article X Mean?
Article X of the covenant for the proposed
league-"of nations, over which so much discus
sion is now being had, reads:
The members of the league undertake to
respect and preserve as against external ag
gression the territorial integrity and existing
political independence of all members of the
league. In case of any such aggression or in
case of any threat or danger of such aggres
sion, the council shall advise upon the means
by which this obligation shall be fulfilled.
What does this language mean? The presi
dent explained it to the senate committee on
foreign relations as literally giving the supreme
council of the league power only to "advise,"
although he qualified this with the further
statement that this "advise," whatever it might
be, would partake of .the nature of a mandate.
He also stated that, while the language does
not legally bind the United States to, accept the
advice thus given, a moral obligation so to do
is implied. And the moral obligation is the
stronger.
Accepting this interpretation, and it is the
one most generally given to the article in ques
tion, the senate of the United States has pre
pared a reservation, setting out that this coun
try can be called into war only by act of con
cress. Mr. Wilson insists that the peace of the
world depends upon accepting in its entirety
the ambiguity of Article X, even as illuminated
by his own construction, admitting the right of
the supreme council to "advise" sending Ameri
can soldiers abroad and holding for the moral
obligation to follow that advice.
The senate is not ready to surrender the
constitutional powers of congress to a foreign
body. Think this over for yourself, and de
cide which is better for the peace and security
of the nation whether it is wiser to retain the
power to declare war in the hands of congress
or to turn it over to a body that is responsible
only to itself, in whose affairs the United States
has but a single vote while the British empire
has six.
Nebraska's "Grand Champion."
At last we have the Nebraska grand cham
pion. Two of them, one a boy and the other
a girl. Babies, of course, and they scored so
close to perfection that only technicalities in
tervened between them and the possible 100
per cent Also, .they both live in Lincoln,
which accounts for it all. Not that some baby
born in another town may not hope to be a
grand champion, too, but the handicap afforded
is considerable. Only a perfect town can be
expected to turn out a perfect baby. Another
most noteworthy point in connection with the
baby show is that the winners in the rural
classes fell far behind the champions. The
disparity, to be sure, is the more marked than
might have been noted if the comparison had
been between one born in Omaha and another
from the country, thus in a sense emphasizing
the advantage of carefully selecting the place
of birth as well as exercising deliberation in
the choice of parents. With all sincerity we
hail the grand champions of Nebraska's wonder
ful babyhood, and hope they will grow up
worthy of the honor and a credit to their home
town.
. American dyers claim to have solved the
secret of "fast" dyes, news that will interest the
women folks whose patriotism has devoted
them to many a fading garment
J. Ogden Armour now seconds the presi
dent's announcement that the crest of the high
price wave has passed. But the beach is strewn
J with the debris of many a ruined pocketbook.
The Silent Sacrifices
(From The Philadelphia Ledger.)
In discussing the " privations suffered by
clergymen and their families who have had a
meager stipend on which to subsist, Harry P.
Ford said: "If the wives of some of these men
were to tell of their sacrifices the world would
be astounded."
Drama, romance and tragedy are not
bounded by the limits of the imagination of
the writers of plays and novels. We need
not go to the stage to have our hearts stirred
by exemplary heroisms nor to the moving
pictures to bewail the fate of a heroine who
may be drawing a considerable income for
counterfeiting poverty.
The ministerial profession has no monop
oly of privation and sacrifice. While nature
hangs a plentiful provision of good things on
laden houghs or gives them to soil and sea, and
man's selfishness still neutralizes her best
efforts to feed the race, there will be much piti
ful misery in some places to restore the balanoe
with opulence elsewhere. .
Housewives have been told to "ecenomiz&."
The advice makes them indignant. They think
it is time for the profiteer, like Davy Crockrrtt's
coon, to come down. They have done tiheir
best. They have skimped and counted the
pennies and strained every nerve to make both
ends meet. They have done their own -work
and stood over the rang in parching heat in
flytime, and seen item after item mount beyond
the reach of the thinning pocketbook.
But the most extraordinary phase cf this
transitional" economical epoch is the silent
stoicism, the uncomplaining endurance of the
millions on whom the cost of living more
heavily falls.
Much righteous anger these days as finding
vent; many would like to see the man who
traffics in human necessities handed higher
than Haman; but the restraint aryi the self
control of home-makers of small means are
phenomenal. Upon that inarticulate accept
ance of the "stratagems and spoils" of shame
less greed the profiteers are backing. But a
change must come, and soon. The American
public is long-suffering, but it is not to be
trifled with nor damned, and it is being roused
to fighting pitch against a monstrous wrong. .
Need of Good Government
Frank A. Vanderlip, who retired as presi
dent of the National City Bank of New York
in order that he might render his country
greater service, in discussing its domestic and
foreign duties, as they were impressed upon
him by an exhaustive study of the war-torn
countries and peoples of Europe, concludes a
series of interesting articles with an emphasis
of what he calls "the supreme lesson" drawn
from his observation; the necessity for good,
honest, wise government He ascribes nearly
half the woes of Europe to bad government,
often arising solely froiji ignorance. The other
half he lays to econoraric ignorance. Thus ig
norance is at the bottom of most of the world's
miseries. Mr. Vanderlip does not mean illit
eracy when he says ignorance. Illiteracy is a
great handicap and is responsible for much ig
norance. There are occasional men who are il
literate but possess vast stores of wisdom,
gathered by observation, experience and tradi
tion. Nor does literacy always mean freedom
from ignorance. Carlyle expressed the common
desire in hoping that "the mystery of alpha
betic letter might be imparted to every child."
But Pope also spake an everlasting truth when
he said that "a little learning is a dangerous
thing." The ability to read and write and the
habit of reading, well and widely banish much
ignorance, yet tnese do not always insure get
ting at the truth, and we have highest authority
that it is the truth that will make us free. All
'our progress has been a vindication of this
sublime utterance.
Dispelling economic ignorance is no day's
task. Interest distorts the vision of both sides
of an economic question. Catchwords linger
long after they become falsehoods or half
truths. The patter of the theorists who fancy
they have found "a new light" is equally vain
and dangerous. If all could recognize the exact
truth and all should be willing to shape their
conduct in conformity with it, the matter of
government would settle itself. But with im
perfect knowledge in the world and with
clashes of ignorant selfishness, the nicessity for
courage, sincerity and wisdom in government
is of first importance. The theories of Paine
would have meant practical anarchy, unless all
the peopie were highly enlightened and exer
cised self-restraint. But the paternalistic ex
treme would be equally disastrous in other
ways. One of our greatest dangers is from
trucklers in office, angling for particular classes
of votes, instead of obeying their oaths and
doing what their conciences tell them is right
before high heaven. St. Louis Globe-Democrat.
Zffi&J&eei
Confidence and Credit. '
Portland. Ore.. Sept. S. To the
Editor of The Bee: Business and
capitaj are "hugging the shore" as
mariuurs In uncertain weather.
Investments and ambitious pians.
fnr fvi tim hwlnir. are being held
in Wash, pending the settlement of
the question wnetner mey can
lv m launched while natural ana
urfnatural unrest are at the boiling
point natural, because unrest ai
wtivs follows trreat wars; unnatural.
because certain bad elements are
Using this unrest to hammer exist
ing things. Result, iacK 01 conn
dence, lack of desire to take uncer
tain chances, lack of teamwork,
u.nrirnnlzid Droeress.
Fortunately our government Is
fundamentally sound ana strong
noutrh to cone with these condi
tions, and the people generally
prosperous enough tnrougn em
ployment and opportunity, to create
no lasting bad result; providing,
however, capital does not continue
to be frgwned upon and excessively
burdened, and labor, with its mo
mentary flush of power, does not for
get "warming the tenches cuts no
coupons."
Otto H. Kahn's request for per
manent commissions, composed of
our various industries' brains, to
study, report and frame solutions
for prompt, real action in a com
monsense and businesslike way, the
New York State Federation of La
bor's requests officially that all wage
and time contentions cease for sfx
months to allow the government to
determine the causes and reduce
the cost of living. These two help
ful, simple attitudes of representa
tive capital and labor send sunshine
to the tired, sensible business man,
who, minding his own business,
steering his own course calmly,
wonders why it is considered any
league of nations is the first essen
tial to the prosperity and rest of
Vthe United States, and not that the
piuepenty ana rest .01 mw uiuieu
States is basically and in fact neces
sary first and quickly, for the best
support of some league of nations
that will spell absolute security to
such a foundation as we have built
for ourselves, which is resulting in
such benefit to the world today. We
can only help, as we help ourselves,
and do so first. Hence, it all is
summed up In the words, confidence
and credit. If not confidence, re
duction of credit, reduction of pro
duction, calamity in the adjustment,
for which there is no excuse, for
we have bullion and brains, but
both are of no account to the re
public, except supported by confi
dent teamwork. If both capital
and labor refuse to be employed or
reduce materially their efforts, it
takes no brainy workingman, no
sluggish capitalist to see the end of
the good fortune war has left us,
despite all difficulties. The danger
sign is up. Heed it and play the
game fairly, squarely, daily.
JOSEPH MEINRATH.
A New War on Nicotine
The Anti-Cigaret League of the World,
launched in Chicago under feminine auspices
plans to enlist 10,000,000 members in this coun
try and by "getting in touch wit' leaders of
other lands to branch out into world work."
It is a high and mighty enterprise. Alex
ander, who sighed for new worlds to conquer,
did not know the possibilities in moral reform
which is always finding new fields for conquest.
And to free the whole earth from the insidious
cigaret what nobler mission could inspire
crusaders? Yet it is astonishing that the league
should want ten million members to redeem
this country from the sin of nicotine. The
Anti-Saloon league drove liquor out with a
fighting force not one-hundredth of one per
cent as large.
But smokers must' recognize the omnious
nature of the portents. Though the Woman's
Christian Temperance Union seems to falter,
other champions arise to release humanity
from the thrall of its pleasant vices. Tobacco
being a comfort and a solace to man is by that
token an evil and must be abolished. And or
ganized crusading against a habit, apart from
consideration of the victim's moral welfare,
has the zest of an agreeable publicity for the
crusaders. New York World.
The Day We Celebrate.
Joseph B. Hummel!, former park commis
sioner, born 1862.
H. E. Cotton, city engineer's office, born
1881.
Bertha Kalich, celebrated actress and photo
play star, born at Lemberg, Galicia, 45 years
Howard Sutherland, senior United States
senator from West Virginia, born near Kirk
wood, Mo., 54 years ago,
Rt Rev. Charles P. Anderson, Episcopal
bishop of Chicago, born at Kemptville,, Ont,
56 years ago. ,
James V. Mc'Clintic, representative in con
gress of the Seventh Oklahoma district, born
near Bremond, Tex., 41 years ago.
Walter R. Cox, one of the best known
American harness drivens, born at Epsom,
N. H., 51 years ago.
Thirty Years Ago in Omaha.
The Musical Union band with 25 pieces
gave two choice programs at the Coliseum.
Mrs. J. M. Woolworth and Miss Woolworth
left for an extended stay in the east
Mrs. James E. Boyd, Miss Boyd and Master
Jay Boyd have gone to San Diego, Calif., for
the winter. Mrs. Levf Carter has leased their
house, furnished, for two years.
Members of Court Eclipse lodge No. 167,
Independent Order of Foresters and their
friends enjoyed the afternoon at Pickard's
park near West Lawn. Mr. Wehrer of the
board of education and Councilmen Lee and
O'Connor were present ' -i ,
DREAMLAND
ADVENTURE
By DADDY.
DAILY DOT PUZZLE
"THE PRINCE OF DOLLARS."
(The Prince of Dollar eete out In a
awlft motor car to find hla loat mermaid,
and tRkes Peggy, Billy and Judge Owl
with him.)
The Song in the Storm.
JUDGE OWL'S prophecy that the
Prince of Dollars would climb
mountains, drive through rivers and
dash into Are to find his lost mer
maid made Peggy and Billy wonder
what was going to happen.
The prince sent his auto dashing
along the road with the speed of the
wind. "This car is a dandy," said
Billy. "It must have cost a lot of
money."
"It did," answered the prince,
speeding the machine to even
swifter flight, "but I would give its
cost a thousand times over to find
my beloved mermaid,
"Only- a very, very rich man could
give that much," declared Peggy.
"I am a very rich man. That's
why I'm called the Prinze of Dol
lars," replied the prince, clearing
up a little mystery that had been
bothering Peggy and Billy ever
since they had first heard his name
in the mermaid's song. "I have
many mills and tens of thousands
of men and women and children la
bor to add to my wealth," continued
the prince, "but all this would I
give if my mermaid love were
mine."
"Hoo! Hoo! I have something to
,"P ao
2b
5
Si
3Z v,5
AS
a
24.
55
26
4a W,
3Z .So
"Hoo! Hoo! Ask Me!" Hooted Judge
Owl.
An O will soon be here
When fifty-eight straight lines
appear.
Draw from one to two and bo on to the
end.
say." hooted Judge Owl from the
back seat, but a rush of wind
knocked him over before he could
finish.
"Do you know where the mer
maid is?" askCd Peggy of the
prince.
"I haven't the slightest Idea," he
groaned. "I must search the whole
Note of Appreciation.
Council Bluffs, Sept. 3. To the
Editor of The Bee: Just a word to
express my high appreciation for
the manner in which you have pub
lished the facts in the brutal mur
der of Scott, the bellboy. It re
minds us ex-service hiys that there
are still some falrminded white men
in the old U. S. A. whose hearts are
as white as their faces, and who
believe in Justice being given all
men, regardless of race or creed.
On my body are four wounds, re
ceived carrying Old Glory over the
top, yet these four wounds are not
as hard to bear as the injustice and
insults on every hand that we re
ceive on the return to the shores
of the country that we walked to
the very doors of hell to defend in
its hour of need.
Long may God let such fair
minded men as you live.
A SUBSCRIBER.
Opposes the League.
Hartlngton, Net)., Sept. 3. To the
Editor of The Bee: The democratic
press is putting up a big howl about
the "partisan" attitude of the sen
ate in relation to the league of na
tions. The howl is more partisan
than the attitude of the republican
senate. England saw no way to es
cape national defeat but to cajole
and coerce this nation into partici
pation in Europe's war. President
Wilson took the English bait. This
nation was plunged into the war to
the tune of $20,000,000,000' and a
good many American lives, and
England was saved. England sees
no way to escape defeat in the fu
ture but to involve this nation in a
league of nations or combination of
powers, which will weave this
peaceful, independent, resourceful
nation into the fabric of Europe's
chronic war 'spirit and involve her
in the future wars of Europe. The
fact is the people of this country
are waking up out of their night
mare and reading the handwriting
on the wall, and the republican con
gress represents thl awakening and
proposes, if possible, to save the
country from what is bound to fol
low. The change in the political
policy, especially as regards inter
national affairs, has come none too
soon. The tremendous fear of the
democratic party that the league of
nations will not carry is not born of
interest in the welfare of this na-'
tion, but in the partisan desire to
see the policy of the democratic
president carried out.
Instead of the war making the
"world safe for democracy" its out
come, in the awful hardships it has
laid upon the people by the high
cost of living, has made the world
safe for bolshevism and threatens
the world, even this nation, with
revolution.
The reasons for the high cost of
living in our country are being dis
cussed everywhere.. The fact Is,
i .a .i jMinin,..,t.H
through the collusion of the White
House and Wall street, and es
pecially through the medium of the
war, has turned the interests of the
people over to the corporations, un
til now they have almost absolute
control of living commodities, and
the people pay the price. The re
sult is the cornering of billions of
dollars in wealth of the monopolies
and the - starvation of the masses.
Unless a new republican adminis
tration can succeed, before it is too
late to stem this tide, a revolution
is as sure to follow as effect is sure
to follow cause. That would not be
the proper or wise sequel; it would
be the worst thing that could hap
pen, but it will be what will happen.
DR. W., M. WARD.
In a Real Estate Deal.
Omaha, Sept 5. To the Editor of
The Bee: Kindly permit me to ex
plan a real estate deal that has been
uppermost in my mind for a few
past weeks. I have a good old
friend that I respeet most dearly,
and he has been striving for years
to get means together to buy a
home. He is a hard-working and
industrious man and worthy of con
sideration. So the last week or so
the golden opportunity presented
itself, and it is my intention to make
the transaction as plain as possible,
not attempting to besmirch any real
estate man, but willing to concede
that they are all four-cornered or
square, if you please. In this par
ticular deal my friend. Mr. A., has
accepted the contract and paid
$225 earnest money that he may
bind same. But our flippant younjr
real estate agent inserts what I
term a "joker," that is if the
owner will accept or consent. Now
Mr. "Buttinky" appears in the deal
and offers Mr. Agent $200 more
money than my friend, and Mr.
Agent goes through same proceed
ings with Mr. "Buttinsky". Now Mr.
Agent had a thorough understand
ing, for over a year he had authority
to close up the deal. At this stage
of the transaction he has them both
"on his hip". Mr. Agent is in a
position to catch them both coming
and going. He can accept Mr. "B's"
contract and sign up at a profit of
$200 and his commission allowed
him by the owner. My friend, Mr.
"A", comes forward and rather than
lose the prospect of a home raises
his bid $200, but that same clause
confronts him still, well knowing
Mr. Agent is only waiting for anoth
er ante. Now if Mr. "C" should hap
pen along with a 10-cent advance
that same clause has to be met
again and the owner is as foreign to
that clause as the writer, it being a
concoction of the agent himself.
Has Mr. "A" no redress on first
proposition?
JAMES GRIMES.
New York Land Prices.
Crescent, Ia Sept 5. To the
Editor of The Bee: Will someone
who has lived within recent years
on a New York farm tell us why
the price of land there is so much
cheaper than here? One reads in
the literature sent west of farms of
35 acres with fine improvements and
live stock and implements, for less
than $2,000. One explanation is
that the war has caused a scarcity
of farm labor. But will someone
who knows please tell us in this
column the reason why?
' A READER.
EMANCIPATED.
DAILY CARTOONETTE.
Uncle biu-us feuers
UJflMTS T'3EE IF YOU
KIN 5TANU ON YER HEAJjJ
f.
13
AND HEDID- .
ffm-
THE SPICE OF LIFE.
Nelarhbor "So your ton got his B. A.
4 hia M. A."
Father "Yea, but hi P A till sup
port him." Boston Transcript.
Ted "He's a queer gink. He says he
likes to write free verse."
Ned "There's no accounting for testes.
I know fellows who claim they like to
read it." Life.
"I canna remember hlc what the
bride was like. Donald."
Donald "Whist, mon. It wlena a mar
riage it was a fun'ral." Boston Transcript.
"With former bare dispensing ginger
pop, this summer will prove It.'
Prove whatT"
"Whether there Is a sea-serpent or
not." Pittsburgh Sun.
The Head Walter (fishing)"!
dreamed last night, sir, that you gave
me a S pound note."
Stingy Patron "Indeed. James! That's
a bit steep for a tip, but you may keep
H!" London Passing Show.
On the coast they couldn't kfep me, tho
they all tr. d mighty hard,
Tfce S. P, tied its engines up In every
railroad yard,
No ateamshlp office there would sell a
ticket unto me
And the coast-Ilne Btage men shook their
heads and said, "Stay where you be."
The sunlit hills of Hollywood said, "Be
content, we're near,"
The movie stars all twinkled my home
sick heart to cheer
The stately eucalyptus trees outstretched
imploring arms,
And the fruit all ripened temptingly In
the fertile valley farms.
The treea and flowers with fragrance
sought my sunlit hours to fltl.
But the conspiracy got to th-3 ears of my
friend President Woodrow Will,
And sent his special agent out his rati
director Hlnes
To untie all the knotty knots in the
Western R. R. lines
And when they heard tho orders and at
the end who signed,
The switchmen went to work again, they
knew they had to mind.
And so I'm out of prison and on the train
for home
And I 'spect that I will be there as soon
as this here 'pome.'
BATOLL NE TRELB.
world over," and he put on still
more speed. I
"Hoo! Hoot I have something to
say!" again hooted Judge Owl, but
a second time he was caught In ,
rush of wind and had to scramble
hard to keep his perch on the back
of the seat.
"If you , don't know where tne
mermaid is, why don't you aslc some
one r- saia reggy. , , A-
"That's a good Idea," replied the
prince, and he brought the car to a
quick stop. "Who will I ask?"
"Hoo! Hoo! Ask me." hooted
Judge Owl. "I told you I had
something to say." Then he went
on quickly to explain. "I heard a
voire singing in the mountains last
night. It sounded like the voice of
tho mermaid as she sang on the
rocky isle of the lake. Hoo! Hoo!
LiRten to what I have to say."
The prince didn't understand bird
talk and was annoyed by Judge
Owl's hooting.
"How did that noisy bird get In
this car? Pitch him out," he ex
claimed angrily. But the prlncn
changed his mind very quickly when
Peggy told him what Judge O 1
had said.
"I'll have that wise bird fed a
thousand mice," he declared grate-,
fully. "Here are the mountain'
ahead of us. We must go fast to
find the mermaid, for a storm is
brewing and harm might come tq
her."
What he said was true. Lightning
was flashing among the hills ahearj
of them and thunder was rolling.
The flashes showed the mountains
threatening. The night had become
pitch black and heavy clouds were
circling about the jagged peaks. It
was a very scary time to venture
among the mountains, but the ,
prince never hesitated. "On, on, we
must find my beloved," he cried,
steering the auto Into a steep rock.
High up they climbed until at last
the blazing lightning revealed a
fork In the roads. The prince
stopped, not knowing whetther to
go to the right or to the left. And
as he hesitated a beautiful voice be
gan to trill a melodious song.
"My mermaid," cried the prince,
and he turned to the right. Up, up
went the auto, the prince driving
fast, as he expected to reach the
mermaid in a hurry. But on, on
went the voice, traveling as swiftly
as the auto. Speed as he would the
prince could not catch it.
Billy squeezed Peggy's hand. "Do
you think the mermaid has turned
into a singing wlll-o'-the-wlsp?" he
whispered.
''Ill- IntA nrlttk a w m V. n M
stick," whispered Peggy back. On,
on, on, climbed the aito amid the
rolling thunder and the dazzling,
lightning.
(Tomorrow will be told how they find
the singer and get a surprise.)
"Business Is cooo.Thunk You"
-WHY-
LV. Nicholas Oil Company
f y -J - "
-'''''''Yfrr
Jonic oSportScenerij
in the Canadian Pacific Rockies
Bring back laughter and vitality. Just the trio alone
will banish car 500 miles through "Fifty Swiur
lands in One" and you can see it all by daylight
Spacious hotels and gay social life at Lake Louise
and Banff chalets in rugged mountain settings at
Sicamoui, Glacier and Emerald Lake inviting
hotels at picturesque Vancouver and Quaint
old-world Victoria.
1 '
4--
I iiy Ideal in September "J M '.
I jR Ask far Resort Tour No. SS-4 SfejSVM.
I jr Tho. J. Wall, General Agent WSS?- I
i'KLr Canadian Pacific Railway, J
SU,h CI" St'' Chic,I' I"" jnj cf'fil "
"The Gadspurs had a quan-el this
morning. It seem that In some matter
pertaining to the dignity of the family
Mr. Gadspur failed to show what Mrs.
Gadspur regarded as the proper spirit, no
she called him a mouse."
"And what did Mr. Gadspur ssy to
that?"
"He said, 'I wish I was a mouse, my
dear. I'd have you standing on a cahalr
In no time.' " Birmingham Age-Herald.
Vftit will flnrl tri Flvflfmaft Min
neapolis, convenient to the shops,
.1 . 1 . f . , T", . .
mcaiers ana points oi iniervsi. rea
sonable rates. The Elizabethan
l?nnm ant PnftV hr,r, nf rnf1
Dyckman are ideal places to dine.
Skinner's the Best
Macaroni and Spaghetti
Recipe Book Free Omaha I
FOR years we have ket apace
with our profession, so that we
could render the best of service at
the time you need it most.
The business of the mortician
is to take care of and protect from
shock those that remain behind to
mourn. For years we have been
adding to cur equipment, so that
we could render thoughtful and
useful service. We add to our per
sonal attention all those little acts
which lessen the burdens of the
family, and try, so far as we can, to
make things easier in the hours of
grief.
uotinm service aiwdvs"
TELEPHONIC DOUG 525 CUMING ST. AT tfmETEENTH
FISTULA CURED
ODeratton. NT .A MV,r
guaranteed. PAY WHEN CURED Writ, an
trated book on Rectal DUeaaea. wiih b"'" :
testimonial, ot more than i,ooo pTimloLita
who hav been nrmn..tl. ' .fimuKnx people
-... j .hi
DR. E. R. TARRY, 240 Bee Bldg, Omaha. NeU