sfJCX U l SUt .sJLC l: .
tfi'io
r-yik Mny Iff Y fj " I toss you cocoanuts when you're, maycy overlooking a bet when he i r. - f TTfTTlil
i-.S! fl?fe- A - , thirsty, what? passes up the . dog pound? Might ' Y. 1 If
JkM 'r- """ No Clothes to Worry About be able to open up the municipal , VX, "f6'j I If
H TV -Psa N No cloth t0 worry about there. stores,again with a stock of dog m l( H W
! . . jJOT J either-nothing tt do but lie by the, or of that kind T Mf W
SSrz3fc----x seashore and listen to the clams. Still, some might not care to S. O. vrfO JWT , I "7
ine n. j.. ioai wdr aitu tu . mm . r j a um a a
make this article beneficial and Vf vUl M I
helpful and all that, we'll try to I rtl ,tv Al
think of some other suggestions. W J 5 jjjgyglSLv
Move Into Garage. ; . 'CySaiYl ' . gggjfrSnggSftfcit? ij.fr,
The Omaha Sunday Bee
OMAHA, SUNDAY- MORNING. AUGUST 81, 1919. :
Painting On Jail ,Floor '
Tells Interesting Tale
Fjord Scene Is Work of Young Dane of Wealthy Family
. Who Acquired Drug Habit in America and-Diedin
Omaha After Serving Jail Sentence.
H. C. LI
S. O. SI
Six small letters that mean a lot
nowadays when a reaj-meal is an
annual event, a new suit means that
a millionaire, uncle died, and a pair
of shoes. Oh, well, what's the use?
And still something' got to be
t!one. There ought to be some real
remedy belides municipal stores
that are always closed, and probes
that fail to probe.
Le's see.
are no coal bills to worry about, and
no 7-cent fare collectors to dodge.
Pretty soft to pick bread fruit off
trees, and have a trained monkey
How ahniit nickintr out a nice lit
tie South Sea island, where there I keep down tjie H. C. U, ot course.
1 1 . 1 I I Tr-.4 ...-. 1 a l,.ri a 4h rrrtioc nm
toss you cocoanuts when you're,
thirsty, what?
No Clothes to Worry About
No clothes to worry about there,,
either nothing to do but lie by the J
seasnore ana listen 10 me ciams
claming.
Still, how about the high cost of
ukuleles?
On second thought the South Sea
island idea may not be so good after
all.
-Better starve at ihorne, maybe.
Still, consider the Indian. Why
did he have so many dogs? To
And while, Sve're on the gruesome
subject J.hink what a succulent ua
bit Mllidy's fluffy, non-essential lap
dog .would make. And isn't our
They do tell that the rich don't
have to worry about the Old Hi
Cost, so the thing to do is, get
rich. Quickest way to get rich right
now seems to move into the garage
and rent the house.
Or, now that the stockingless fad
is in our midst, why not use it for
all it's wfcMh? Nothing like being no one'll know whether you're
in style when it's cheap. Might even wearing a collar or not. Hats are
rlUnrnc with rnllar and barber hard on both the nocketbook, and
bills at the same time. Let your hair. "No hats, no bald heads," asfartist really was, and if duties ,are
whiskers grow and in a short time a slogan would be a winner.
A visitor at the Douglas county
jail ' who is fortunate enough to
be taken- through its kitchen will
be surprised at its cleanliness. He
will be more surprised, however, at
the large oil painting on its cement
floor.
It is ft water scene, done in bril
liant colors, but with the unmis
takable artistry of a master's hand.
A sailing, craft and a rough wooden
pier loom up in the foreground; in
the distance is a high, rocky shore
line and a moss-covered, turreted
castle. To those who have traveled,
and even to those who have de
pended on their school geographies,
the scene can represent nothing but
the fjofd-bound coast of Norway.
The "Dope-Head's" Picture.
The jailer who conducts you
through the place is not interested
in art, as a rule, and when ques
tioned is apt to explain that "some
dope-head painted the thing there
five years' ago," and let it go at
that. If you are lucky he will call
to a little, gray-haired woman who
is hovering .anxiously near, and in
troduce her as Mrs. Ellen McNeil.
You later learn that she is respon
sible for what can safely be called
the cleanest jail kitchen in the coun
try. When you express an admiration
for the painting her face lights up
with pleasure.
"It is beautiful, isn't it?" she
smiles. "You see I have placed a
keep-off sign about it so that no one
will walk on it. Of course no one
would intentionally, but we have so
many thoughtless people here in
jail, you know.
"Every dayv I wash it carefully,
and twice a yea? I have it varnished
to keep it from cracking."
Here she pauses and favors the
painting with a loving glance.
You can t resist asking wno tne
not too pressing, she will tell" you
that he called himself John Thomp
son, which wasn't his right name at
all, that he was asyoung Dane of
rich parentage who, acquired the
habit of using drugs when he came
to this country, and finally died from
an overdose four years ago.
Sometimes Mrs. McNeil will go
on and tell you of this young Dane.
Loved Rock Coast of Denmark.
If. she does, you will learn what
an interesting young man he really
was. The blood of his Viking an
cestors was rich in his veins. He
played on the rockbound coast of
his country, lived a part of his boy
hood days among the simple fisher
folk of the land, and learned to love
their simple life, the beauty of his
native country. x
His ability to draw attracted his
father's attention and he was sent
to study in the great art schools of
Europe. He later came to America,
and lived in New York.
He became a success as a por
trait painter, a social favorite. He
longed to paint the homely scenes
which were dear to him, bjjt could
find no market for them.
. It was in New York that the sin
ister hand of the drug habit
clutched him. He came west to
escape it, but in vain. A shadow
of his former self, he was at last
lodged at the county jail in Oma
ha. Paints on Tray.
Then the old desire to paint the
scenes; so dear to his childhoon
days returned. A rusty tray, once
used to serve food to prisoners, was
his first canvas. He sketched a
water scene of rare beauty on this.
Mrs. McNeil has saved the tray.
Then he chose the cement floor
of the jail kitchin.
All that remains in memory of the
Danish artist is the painting oh the
floor of the kitchen in the Douglas
county jail-rand that is unsigned.
Bouquet of Live, Human Interest Stories About People
Eligible Omaha Bachelors
Now, here is Judge Robert Pat
rick, who insists in concealing him
self behind dense face foliage.
When you once penetrate this
mask you find a charming gentleman
of restful disposition, ' son of a
First Family of Nebraska, a man of
-high education and notable attain
ments. " Judge Patrick's modesty is shown
in his answer to the query whether
(he ever gdes out with the ladies.
Used to Step Some.
"NTv T'm nast the aa-e for that f
md I'm, too fat," he . says. And v
then his eyes snow a. reminisce
, glow and he continues: "But I useJ
to step out with the best of the Lei
lows, and the ladies seemed to thnnk
I was all right. Yes, sir n
Judge Patrick was born in atfhouse
which stood on the northeast lorner
of Seventeenth and Danport
streets. - v .'
"We were away out in tht country
then," he says. "Tlje bestlcity res
idence district then wjTs down
around Ninth and Tenthand Har
nev streets.
In 1871 Robert's fath. John Nel
son Hayes Patrick, bialt a country
mansion which is noiiv'the Happy
Hollow club house sfnd the family
noved there. n, $
Robert went to scfiool here until
: le was 13 years old and then was
len to a boarding School in Stam
ford, Conn. Later Jie went' to Yale1
university, where he was graduated
in 1879. He came to Omaha and
read law in J. M. Woolworth's of
fice for a year ano then went to Co
lumbia law 'schcol. where he 4rad-
"uated in 1882.1 Since then he has
been practicing law in Omaha and
is now a municipal judge.
, Likes to Read.
Judge Patrick's principal hobbies
now are reading and craftmanship.
He is anOmnivorous reader of fic
tion, history, political economy and
many olher, things. His evenings
are spejft in his bachelor apartments
in the Mamilton, Twenty-fourth and
streets, reading and fash-
I things with a mall set of
nakes wonderful fishing rods
A TO
j
It
BY A.
8TINGBRV
4
nzzvms
rarnatf
ioningj
tools, a
Hed
L I T
It
J I
I The
m .
out of split bamboos They'je just
as good as Leonard, the famous
fishing rod maker ever made, he
says. He also makes riding crops
and the like.
Occasionally he takes' a trip to
Sheridan, Wyo., where he has an in
terest inj a large ranch.
But He's Too Fat Now.
Horseback riding was Judge Pat
rick's favorite hobby up until about
10 years ago. When he was 3 years
old his father presented him with a
email nnnv anrl ha wi, iI.ka.
iiui pastime luusi oi 1113 HIP.
He used to play golf also, but has
dropped that game in favor of his
reading and craftsmanship.
Judge Patrick on the bench has
unravelled many a domestic diffi
culty and it would seem to unbiased
observers that he ought to be a safe
bet in the matrimonial market.
Iff You've Ever Taken On p
ouCan ; Appreciate Thi s
-VACATION.
he leaving home.
he hot night on the sleeper.
man snoring in the next
rth. ,
The lost grip in Kansas City.
The breathless' chase to recover
it.
The dusty ride across Kansas.
' The stop-off at the small town.
- The taking of the train westward
next day at 7:20 p. m.
The interrogation of the Pullman
conductor.
His reply: "Ain't got no berths
left."
Denver 15 hours away!
. The pleading.
"The joy when a reservation at
Dodge City was not taken.
DENVER.
" The, souvenir shops. .
Root beer, S a' glass.
Watermelon, 10 a slic.. v
' The green lawns. ...
jThe whirling sprinklers.
, The rubber-neck wagons.
The jams of, automobiles.
The full hotels.
The room at $4 a day without
bath.
Estes Park. -
. The fat ladies in khaki trousers.
. the full hotels
The cot in the hall back 'of a
screen. .
The man running the typewriter in
a neighboring room from 12 to 2
o'clock at night
Bear lake.
The lady from New York who
'just loved wild places."
,The kodaks.
That trout that wouldn't bite.
"January," thev burro. -
The automobile that ran over the
embankment
Estes Park village. .
The conversation r'The meals
at the hotel are a fright." "Wife and
I paid $14 a day there." "Couldn't
get a thing but a haH bed." "Said
they'd reserve a room for me but
Hidn't do it."
The souvenir sho'ps. j.
Denver. "Mizpah." The punk pic
ture show. The full hotels. The
souvenir shops. The auto trips.
The dusty automobile tourists.
The trip to Julesburg. i
The plains of Nebraska.
The hospitable farmer.
The good eats.
The. spacious bedroom.
The Jrain for Omaha.
The Pullman conductor:' "Plenty
of berths, you bet."
Omaha I .
0 m l - ;
She Meant Epithets, ,
A woman suing for divorce in dis
trict court last week declared that
her husband called her "vile epi
taphs." Well, Shakespeare charged
-that "the evil that men do lives after
them; the good is oft interred with
their bones."
Q. AND A.
Editor The Bumble Bee, Deer
sur; I have been reding your colum
for sum time and ben loking for a
few questions wich hav ben waying
on my mind. But I did not find out
what I wanted to no, so plese tell
me ho can kep my new corset from
squeking. I paid a vey high price.
Evry time I walk at school they laf
at me and. call me squeak. Please
anser at once.
BLUE EYES.
Answer Write to the Saint
Nicholas Oil company or Slan
dered Oil company and they will
tell you just what kind of grease
to use for your corset. Of
course, it squeaks if you don't
grease it. Get different kinds
of grease for summer and win
ter. The oil companies can ad
vise you. Better try to get
something for your "mind" al
so, though we fear it will take
more than grease to remedy
mat, judging by your letter.
N LONDON MAIDS.
(Want Ad in London Times)
COOK General and house, parlour
maid (or country;family 2; man for
knives, boots, &c; electric light:
separate bedrooms; good references
- esentlal; wages 3S-40, 30-35.
Mrs. Hundson, Lapworth, Warwick-
anire.
UNDER HOUSEMAID wanted, age jot
under 17; Wages according to expe
rience. Apply by letter, giving full
particulars, to Mrs. Honey, 4 South
Side, Wimbledon common.
WANTED, daily doormald, 10-6; 30s
' weekly; no Sunday work. Apply 101.
Harley street, W. 1.
KITCHENMAID wanted, at once; also
good eook ' in May. Apply Mrs.
James Lacy, Woodville, Leaming
REQUIRED for the kitchen of a May
fair establishment, good scullery
mald; good wages; comfortable
quarters; liberal outings. Apply,
stating wages, to S. Wallrock, 16
Brook street, W. 1.
HEAD and under parlourmaid; I la
dles; 6 maids; wages 36-28; Prot
estant; May 12. Miss E. Campbell,
63. Eaton-square. ,
PARLOURMAID wanted, wage 34;
S maid kept,- 2 in family; usual
x outing; electric stoves; no" base
V ment. Apply by letter to John
Fisher, Esq., Whlnhurat, Ham-com-
aion. menmonq.
BETWEENMAID wanted immedlat
ly, under-house-maid might ult;
. to help upstair and down; good
wages; nonjbasement house; omni
bus service a minute's walk. Apply
after t. to Woodland, Wet Hill,
EXPERIENCED head housemaid of
two. wanted; good needlewoman;
church woman; comfortable country
situation; 7 servants; wage 36.
Lady B. Paget, Longdon Hall, Rug-
nunuunAobji Mrs. tjiaaaton re-
upper nousemaia and under
housemaid for town only. Call 10-
ii, or i-t, is, master-square.
OPOD general wanted Immediately;
good cooking essential; three In
family. Apply njlmroaa, Ins tow.
carnaiapiB, iorin uevon.
SINGLE-HANDED , housemaid next
month, able to sew; family t; 10
advance on last wage. Bos Z992,
The Time, London, E. C. 4.
A Little Slice o' Life.
We were looking for a cook.
Everybody said we couldn't find one.
But we fooled everybody.
We went out and found one.
A very Intelligent maid, we thought.
' And we took her home on the 4:37.
And guarded her closely
Against a host of our friend
Who were on the same train.
' When we got to the house
The maid told us her terms.
She would do no laundry work
And NO COOKINO.
We would have to get some one
To prepare her meals.
If we did that, she said
Everything would be O. K.
So now all we have got to do
Is to get somebody to cook
For our new maid.
As somebody has remarked
. We are living in y great age.
Does Your Name Suit You?
If it doesn't, just cast your eye
over these names which are on rec
ord in the bureau of war risk in
surance and see whether there are
any you would rather have:
Asad Experience Wilson, Van
Hook, North Dakota.
Mih Gosh, No. 220 Halsted street,
Chicago, 111.
Green Horn, Statesboro, Ga.
Velvet Couch, Brinkley, Ark.
Will Swindle, Center, Tex.
Paris Gren, Huntington, W. Va.
Slaughter Bugg, Oscar Tarbin, La.
Chocolate Candy Clark, Prescott,
Ark.
Harry Cries-for-rib, White Eagle.
Okl.
Willie Darling, Washington, D. C.
Toy Brush, Kenton, Tenn.
Cigar Brown, Trogansport, La.
Little Kittie Karr, Norfolk, Va.
E. Pluribus Brown, Perry, Ga.
Great Britton Turner, Delrio,
Tenn.
George Sleep From House, Kenel,
S. D.
ohn Albert Pancake, Clothier,
. Va.
Wley Fox Hunter, Neuse, N. C.
Green Berry Anderson, East St.
Louis, III.
York Candyr Baltimore, Md.
Reav Oatmeal, . Penhook, Va.
Youstus Horrible Riner, Covena,
Ga. i
Benjamin Comes-out-bear, St.
Charles, S.'D.
David Drops-at-a-Distance, White
Horse, S. D. " ; ,
Charles Owl Walks-in-the'-House,
Herrick, S. D.
Handsome Pleasant Ayers, No.
655 Bay street, Goldsden, Ala.
Brass Mule, No. 900 Rogers ave
nue, Brooklyn, N. Y.
Please Hatch, Jackson, Ala.
Green Hue Jackson, R. R. No. 4,
Franklin, Ga. - ' , v
Lloyd George Parliament, ! West
Branch, Mich. '
Green Berry Bush, Butler, Ala.
Grief Grimes, R. F. D., Eagle,
Idaho.
Precious Eugene Grant, Cedar
town, Ga.
Fine German, Bonville, S. C.
pree Office Graves, Shaw, Miss.
Wash Day Clouds, Salamanca,
N. Y.
John Christsusthimus Noll, Ros
coe. Minn.
Dinner Bell Page, R. F. D. No.
29, Urich, Mo.
Huckleberry Shell, Stillwell. Okl.
Isaac His-Horse-Is-Fast, White
Horse, S. D.
Small Men Make Best Soldier.
Addressing an audience In New ' fork
City, recently. Philip Oibb, a noted Brit
ish war correspondent who served four and
. t,.l In IV. nn. M If V. a his
own observation, corroborated by the opin
ion or aminem mutiary men wnn wuvw
he had spoken, that the men from cities,
oven muse wean n .1.1.1, .. vwMw..w
tlon, h4 proved themselves among the
"Strangely enough'." he sald, A'the under
sized men, who appeared to be nervous
..4 1 I.... 1 9 tuav aiiM nAver stand
the battle strain, held out better than
the bigger men. Thi wa especially ap
parent In case of shell shock. The big
.u. ....t.n. I., tm the 'John
Bull Englishmen.' broke up much quicker
under this terrific ordeal. Men of the little,
nervous type, by nerve control, succeeded
better in standing thi and many of the
other kinds of strain."
Mr. Glbbs asserted that tne Dravery ot
a soldier was not absence of fear, but con
trol over fear ana aouuy 10 carry on uwu
.- . t. - Aa Tnap. a-. a flfl Soldier.
he said, who had not experienced fear
constantly. The apparent callousness and
heartlessness of the soldier In the midst
. u v ..14 riM nnt fnrile&te blunted
sensibilities, but was an armor put on to
save himself
The Boy' Clever!
Word by Eddie Black.
Music by E. Black.
Idea. entirely by Edward Black.
THE "HIM OF HATE" The landlord.
Get ltT Clever, ehT
Handsome Hans Has
Handicaps, Hence His
Humor Hides His Hopes
Han Boegh, "pretty" policeman,
has found his way into thf hearts of
his pals by his clownishcapers. He
admits that. Though' not the mosn
attractive cop on the force, is is said
that he refused a stricking offer
to enter the movies.
"How come all that?" was asked.
And one look sufficed to tell. Even
Hans will admit that he is exceed
ingly gruff and cranky at times.
With a long flor de rope puckered
from his lips, he bears an appearance
of a shooting gallery proprietor,
which he says won the offer to enter
screen art.
Hans declares the only time he
smiles with ease is when the femin
ine motorists skin the bfrk from his
knees while directing traffic.
Women
They're saucy and they're fickle, and
1 They'ra mighty hard to please.
We hava to cater to them all
Upon our bended knees.
They're flighty and Inquisitive,
Exasperatln', too;
And every man must find It out
Somehow befose he's through?.
Tbey reason with a suddenness
That make a feller jump:
And they don't find It hard at all
To make him look a chump.
They can not give a reason for
A single thing they do.
They Jump at a conclusion with
No valid cause In view.
They're fussy and they're frivolous;
Sometime It seem that way.
They'ra tender and they're freartleg and
They're mournful and they're gay.
They're prudish and they're reckless, and
In fault they all abound.
They cost a lot of money, but v
. They're nice to hav aroundi
Pleasure in the Forbidden.
Visitor (viewing esplanade) You
have signs up "Keep off the grass,"
but I notice you don't enforce them.
Host They are there so that peo
ple will more thoroughly enjoy
being on the grass. Boston Transcript,
Jewel Weed.
'o you were there in hiding all the
day .
When maiden April smiling
y through her tears,
Cane clad for dancing in the gown
of May;
You heard the singing that the blue
bird hears
And knew the tints that made the
meadows gay
And helped to weave the young
dreams of the years.
You must have dozed a little, where
you stood,
And dreamed new dreams of dain
tier golden hues,
tf'ill now, when all your radiant sis
terhood Have danced away to fields, the
angles use,
Vour dreams break forth to jewels
through the wood
And" April smiles through tears of
autumn devs.
Chance For Childless Mouse.
Chatham Standard Small mouse
wanted in Gillinjrham neaf dock
yard. No children. Boston Tran-j
HE THAT ALOM WOULD BE.
(John Andrew In New York Time.)
He that alone would be, let him arise and
come
From out the quiet stagnant country
side. And find a dwelling In a city where the
thousands dwell,
And there abide. "
The hermit, weary of mankind' Ignoble
strife
Flies to the forest, or In dark retreat
Secludes himself. O fool! There la one
secret place J
The city street. f
And there will be lame who take the eon
vent cell, and hope
Thus to avoid earth' pleasure and false
Joys,
While grim seclusion, bound with buss,
awaits the seeker, midst
A city's noise.
The prairie dweller. Ion, may see the
change
From wreen to dreary whit, nor evar
His neighbor's voices but birds and sts
give him companionship
Amidst the drear.
In the city you can live and walk among
The crowds a through a drifting, miaty
zone - "
Can hear strange itoiee, see the unknown
face of mankind,
And be alone!
Tou that alone would be, arise today and
come
From cave and celh from prison and
prairie wide.
And hide yourselve forevermor among
the multitude.
And there abide I v ,
At That, You Can't Tell
an Omaha Policeman
From a Mex General
With all the loquacious chevrons
and stripes donning a policeman"s
uniform, the wearer is taken for any
one or anything, from a Pullman
porter to a slaughter-house fore
man. Granted, you'll say. You've
noticed the natty uniforrns of
Omaha's police, renegade or not.
When Police Captain Vanous,
wearing fewer stripes than a zebra
on his spacious uniform gave an
order to one of his understudies, he
received an obeying reply:
"Aye, aye, sir, General Aguinaldo
Carranza. -
A spirited glance from the police
captain bade his listener a hasty
departure before nardon was for
mally' requested.
. Consequences.
Beneath June skies
A rose was born.
That charmed the gaze of men.
And as it grew the women, too.
Paid homage here
At beauty's shrine.
Inhaling the perfume.
From bud to bloom
It held in thrall
All gazers on its form.
In pride it gained, tho' weather
stained.
And spread its bloom
To marvelous, wondrous size,
'Til shattered by the storm.
Beneaefi June skies
A girl was born,
Whose features, form and face
Enraptured men old and young.
Then
These praised the gods
That beauty lived
In graceful, mortal shape 1
That girl, she grew
To woman's state,
In beauty and in wit.
At twenty-three she seemed to see
Her waist had spread.
Unlike the rose, she saw her end
Good Lord I 1 1 I'm growin' fat!
Frank Howe, Jr.
A brigadier-general and a deputy
sheriff both wear a silver star. But
who "wants to be a brigadier-general
in a dry town?
United States army is now giving
Everything, From Artificial
Limbs to False Teeth, Is
Found in Omaha Street Cars
Railroads Also Maintain Files of Tags in Omaha Serv
ing as Keys to About 200,000 Lost Articles of AH
Descriptions, Stored in Lost and Found "Morgue"
" Few Bottled Goods Left Behind.' ;
unconditional
players.
releases to -all ball
j Departed Heme.
In passing drop a bouquet on
The frav nf Anibnn Vmrr
Who never held you for an hour
10 lie about his car.
In passing drop a brick-bat on
The head of old man Buck;
Who's always knocking at the door
To sell your wife some truck.
In pinning "kindly drop a tear
For William Rotter Reef.
He bad some trouble with his ear.
But never said, "I'm diet
A bunch of American Beauty
roses. '
A set of false'teeth. -Twelve
hat boxes.
One hundred dollars.
A 10-cent bottle of hand lotion
These are only a few of the things
that have been turned into the lost
articles department of the Omaha
and 'Council Bluffs Street Railway
company. s
"Everyone, from the judge down
to the messenger ( boy, forgets
things," said one of 'the officials re
cently. "In-this case it was the
judge, who left the wallet full, of
bills in his topcoat, and the messen
ger boy who left the hat boxes.
"Eyeglasses, rings, love letters,
photographs, keys, kodaks, rosaries,
umbrellas by the score, all find their
way into this office.
"To my mind the most amusing
thing is to see a host of rather
sheepish looking youths come in
Monday noon and claim suitcases
left on the late cars the night be
fore.
A Regular Customer.
"There is one man in Omaha, who
leaves his grip on the car regularly,
then remembers just as the car dis
appears around the corner. He tele
phones the company, and we, in
turn, 'phone to the barn, where the
car is stopped, the grip recovered
and put into the hands of the owner
within an hour.
"Any article not claimed within a
certain time is returned to the
finder, who, in most cases, is the
conductor. About two months ago
one of our conductors found a pair
of woman's black ' silk stockings.
They were not called for and were
returned to the conductor. He took
them home to his wife, and lo the
fit was perfect 1 Another conductor
found a pair of woman's white silk
stockings just the same size. He
sold them to conductor No. 1, and
now the latter's wife has two pairs
of silk stockings, left in street cars.
"Not long ago one of our rrten
found a bankbook filled with checks
and bills. Of course, the name of
the owner was on it and it was re
turned to the bank almost before
the absent-minded office girl knew
she had lost it."
Left Baby on Car.
No Omaha woman ever has been
as absent-minded as ,the Philadel
phia mother who left her baby on
the street car, but dead parrots in
paper bags and litters of live kit
tens have been forgotten in cars
here, complicating matters in the
lost and found department, which
was not designed to cope with
menagerie problems.
A similar lost and found bureau
s, ot Course, operated bv all of the
railroads operating out of Omaha.
Whenever1 an article is found in
any ot the railroad coaches, a tag.
accurately describing it and the
time and place where it was found.
s immediately made out. riles of
these tags maintained in Omaha
serve as keys to about 200,000 lost
articles of all descriptions that are
stored in a lost and found "morgue."
This way descriptive tags for all
sorts of things come into the rail
road morgues at the rate of over
500 arday. Hundreds of grins con
stantly are being mislaid. There is I Have
a big proportion of umbrellas, short lge
ones, slim ones, fat ones, silk ones,
broken ones, ragged ones, some so
disheveled that they appear to hav
beenleft in the cars purposely by
some disgruntled passenger after
somebody else got his good one and
left him the old one by way of ex
change. -
'False Teeth and Limbs.
False teeth, artificial limbs and
even glass eyes commonly v are
picked up on trains. This often
makes it look as if some peoplt
went all to pieces on their travels,
Often a lot of pet live stock like
kittens, canaries, parrots, etc., art
found. When the railroad lost and
found bureau receives birds, sau
sages, fruit and that sort of thing,
that cannot be kept for any length
of time, they are generally given
away shortly 'after their discovery.
But the great bulk of articles are
held for one year. After that time,
all unclaimed goods are sold at
public auctions. ' v
A few years ago the railroads in
structed the brakemen in calling
stations to call also, remember
your 'packages and parcels." This
svstem reduced the number of lost
articles 65 per cent.
Since July 1, a great decline m
the finding of "lost" bottled goods
has been noticed by trte railroad
lost and found bureaus.
f.
Had Scheme to Beat
Parking Ordinance,
But it Was Repealed
TinvPinan, Omaha insurance man,
had just discovered the only suc
cessful way of parking a car under
the new city ordinance when th
citv council repealed the blamed
thing. ' ' "
The new ordinance which became
effective about a month ago com
pelled autoists to park their cars
parallel to the curbing7 and four feet
apart.
The forward provision of the ordi
nance was observed strictly, buf ,
some gook with a congested idea
of what four feet is, was always vio- -lating
the second clause of the or
dinance. Tim, like a couple of thousand
other Omaha autoists tore off the
fenders on both sides of his bus try
ing to get out from between tw
cars on the first day the new pr
dinance was effective. ?
A few days in the repair shop and ,
his car was ready to try parking
again.
But Tim wasn t ready just yet
He selected two brilliant "Don't
Park Here" signs and made them
part of his car's equipment.
When he wanted to park his car
he pulled up to the curb, placed one
sign four feet behind his car and the
other four feet ahead of it and the
new ordinance no longer had terrors
for Tim.
1 -i
War's over and now- the temnra
mental ball players will be first to
fight. .
a little patience and you'U