, J
Ems ieQbina
wheat ml
tQNtON SffOOT
ME TlfOse
BUMBLES
r '
r , Y A .... . JrMIK sJBBi&
VI"'
I
fok start toworA at 6AM.
with a veterarfarrJU pitcher
puwp some army srurr on
mm.
I' I I V ' ' II II J- KWWCI
JlMl IP
The Omaha Sunday Bee
OMAHA, SUNDAY MORNING, AUGUST 10, 1919. r""
mosf artists wha picture farmers
like the above sketch must
have Sot their idea frem
a dream booh.
, a feiow meets you and
'. takes you out to is zttOAM. and SPM. you bet a
n
V
, farp ? a car
The bird who wrote ''How You
Gom': to Keep 'Em Back on th'
Farm?" 'was a.11 wrong, or else he
lunck consisting of half a pie,
chickenf coffee, sandwich, etc
You alight with feelings of mis
giving, and are ushered into a re.
ception hall by a maid in black and
OftdPM. the same fellow is still
workwd like a machine Sun tyrn$ cbcAen
u
Green pw
V
was never on a Nebraska farm. For I white the kind who walk in the
s
-.gone are the days when chin whisk-
Tj .corncob pipes, and one-horse
rigs was the style in rural life.
i We know; we've been there.
Everything's changed.
They meet you at the train in a
high-powered bus that makes you
,. sit up and rub your eyes. Where's
old Dobbin? you wonder.
But the first shock is not the
greatest. As you tear along a
f , macadamized road at about 60
miles per hour, and get closer to
the old homestead, you cast a
hopeful eye to the left side of the
i -1 i ,
luau expecting 10 scc mc oiu swim- supper.
niiiig noie, ii was one 01 me rea
sons you came. ' - .
Ah, the Swimmin' Hole.
When you catch a sparkle of
Ayater in the distance you gloat an
ticipatingthen you realize your
mistake. It's no longer the old
swimming hols of days gone by
it's a duck pond, with cement edges.
; There's one thing left to look for
ward to. The old farmhouse with
the cucumber vines on th? front
porch will surely be worth the trip,
you think.
wi But to your amazement as you
roll up a well-kept driveway with a
hedge on one side you spy a bunga
low of the latest type, surrounded
by a landscape garden that looks
like Hanscom park.
parks with the coppers back where
you came from.
Host Wears White Flannels.
You take your bath in a porcelain
bathtub not in the old water tank
that the cows used to drink out of
and are about to pull out a new pair
of overalls that your bought for the
trip, when your host conies in wear
ing white flannels and tells you that
"dinner's" ready.
You glance hastily at your watch.
What can he mean by dinner at 6
o'clock in the evening? You won
der. They always used to call it
Siring beans
v
flashed potaioti
m butler
"of time to wear them tomorrow
whendTv.Je!p Bill shock wheat, you
think. 'iS,
Next thing you k?ttw. you are sit
ting at the "dinner" table"- between
two of Bill's wife's girl friends.,
Thcy'rs both wearing party dresses
with low necks, and 'you have a hor
rible suspicion that they've taken up
the latest stockingless fad. The
maid serves dinner on a tea table,
with rubber-tired wheels.
And Then You Dance.
The evening is spent dancing on
i the wide veranda to jazz music fur-
t t? I
00! nO SUOT7D
Tv fresh
JEBm? am mat .
li!illtt MSS rMa Untuck
V ' imW S&r curd ,cecri"' h
v . . . ' if " A Con IO Arclire vntrs ntrroA stf A
vvv v.4 v ' sz - a mmr. r i rt r m t j i im i. 11 rxrts m irr.w rw mi sins a
RiiSIS J kR""'' W to worry bout tfl ft C.L or J
I lp- -y ' JEj nuna rr virv vy your grocery 0, i I J I
the bub vtio 8&M; ZiMPMRSIMPl T'fiJv-T:'
took the XmM Xkm isn't rfMT- Wjk m nrrm,,
X J try yourf
The vilkge Seie w?o owns ct u.
hifjfi powerd ford tc?Aes you
0jva,d town io see Cne styits
nished by a luxurious talking ma
chine. No chance to listen to the
crickets sing as in days of old. You
notice that Bill has acquired the
habit of smoking gold-tipped cigar-
ets. too, instead of the fragrani
nA ti-lur ,e 'rtlir rlA nnl Kill I . c ?
. hiij u I'"', rcinicrth niTi nt r QVC nr vnrp i
wearing white tlanneis.' lou put "Oh, well, we'll see some real fan. - .Ctff
the overalls back in the grip; plenty , ,;f tomorrow." vou murmer sleeo SeeJ7 6) PoweJJ
ily, as you sink into a canopy-topped
bed with a luxurious sigh. At the
first crow of the rooster you spring
from your, bed and begin to dress.
A strangesilence prevails. Probably
the alarm clock didn't go off, you
figure, and you wait patiently for
some, sign of life. At last you go
back to bed.
Alas! No Cows to Milk.
Three hours later, at 9 o'clock
sharp, Bill calls you for breakfast.
Mrs. Bill is dressed in a breakfast
gown of pale blue and is still yawn
ing sleepily.
After breakfast 'Bill proposes a
iy folks you wont to
'id citmikin.
walk over the farm. "But how
about milking the cow?" you pro
test feebly. "Oh, we don't keep any
cows, we have a rural delivery milk
route," Bill explains.
The afternoon is spent with auc
served. At 5 you borrow a pair of
Bill's white flannels and dress for
dinner.
It's the same way every day dur
ing your two weeks, and when you
get back to the city you look in
tion bridge. At 4 o'clock tea is vain for a single hay seed in your
clothes. You haven't eren got a
respectable coat of sunburn to show
for your vacation.
Yes, the song writer made a mis
take. He should have written
"How're You goin' to Keep 'em
Away from the Farm?"
Kill Lucy After Detention
In Cellar; Ship Body Away
Violating Regulations of Health Board and Cheating
Henry Pollack Out of Garbage, Man Keeps Pig in
' Boarding House Cellar.
Lucy, after being kept a prisoner
in the cellar of the house at 2225
Farnam street for several months,
was taken out and spirited away to
South Omaha, where it is believed
she was killed and her body shipped
out of the city.
This "reads" like some murder
mystery. But it is only the story
of how Truman Steves, yardman for
the boarding house operated by C.
B. Washington at the address given,
made $59 and incidentally "helped
win the war," disobeyed the ordi
nance against keeping pigs within
a certain area and kept Henry Pol
lack from getting a lot of choice
garbage.
Dan Butler, a friend of the Wash
ingtons (who claim to be descended
from the same line as the celebrated
George), learned all about the ex
ploit of Truman Steves.
A farmer brought the pig in from
the country when it was only a few
weeks old and he caried it under his
arm in a box. It was the "runt" of
its litter and didn't look promising.
He presented it to Truman.
This was before the war was over
Truman installed the pig in an
apartment in the cellar of the house
and named it "Lucy," after a child
hood sweet heart of his. He appoint
ed himself cook, chambermaid and
janitor to Lucy's apartment and he
fed her all the garbage of the board
ing house.
Lucy soon began to pick up. She
got out of the runt class and de
veloped a physique that caused
Truman to gloat over his profits,
especialy with hogs commanding
about $20 for 100 pounds in South
Omaha.
Months passed and the time came
when Lucy had waxed great and
Truman hauled her to the South
Omaha markets where she weighed
in at 310 pounds and Truman re
ceived a check for $59.
Omaha Photographers
Can Use the Money, But
225 Feet Is Too High
Omaha photographers have the
reputation of being a nervy lot, but
the commercial men were offered a
job last week which none of them
had the 'nerve to accept, .t the
South Side stock yards they are
building a smoke stack 225 feet into
the air and they wanted a circuit
camera photo taken of the yards
from that dizzy height.
Herman Schonfield looked over
the ground and when he found that
he had to go up in a hoisting eleva
tion 225 feet and that at the top was
but a four foot square platform
while the tripod of the circuit cam
era requires a five foot base, leaving
no space at all for the operator to
put on his hood and adjust the ma
chine, he said "nix." The swaying
of the high scaffolding would also
make it practically impossible to
make a perfect picture.
Louie Bostwick said "I need the
$150, but I think more of my neck."
Scott also turned down the job.
The Harps still have a majority
in the upper and lower houses of
umpires, in spite of the fact that
Silk O'Loughlin is this year calling
'em when they cut the pearly plate.
July may come and July may go,
but Peruna goes on forever.
Pushes Auto, Racing'
at High Speed, Aside
With His Bare Hands
As a muscular man stepped from
the curb to take a south-bound sur
face car at Twenty-fourth and Lake
streets, a small automobile of a most
common species, bore down on him
at a terrific speed.
There was a shriek of brakes, the
car conductor shouted, and several
women in the car screamed. It was
all over in the twinkling of an eye,
The large man had not leaped to
escape the onrushing machine.
He merely put his hand on the
fender of the car as it reached him,
and pushed it gently back.
"Good brakes saved you that
time," shouted the driver of the
Ford.
"Good arm, you mean," ' retorted
the large man as he entered the sur
face car.
Prohibition Note.
Subscriber What the heck do you
mean by putting out your paper
with half the space white?
Editor, Punkville Weeekly Some
one pinched my sheers.
Subscriber Well, you could use a
Knue to cup witn, couian t your
Editor Yes, but the devil drank
the mucilage to see if it had any
kick in it.
Bouquet of Live, Human Interest Stories About People
i
Ben Baker Admits He
Has Vacancy on the
Outside of His Head
At a recent dinner of the incura
ble sufferers from golf-itis at the
Happy Hollow sanitarium County
Judge Bryce Crawford had the duty
of appointing the toastmaster.
. He named "Ben" Baker, the irre
pressible humorist and the posses
sor of one of tlje baldest heads ever
seen in this part of the country.
Mr. Baker filled the chair in his
celebrated manner with wit, humor,
' sangfroid and savoir faire, until
iudge Crawford arose and recited a
eautiful vpoem which he had com
' posed for the occasion. The poem
was as follows:
, "If all the turf that I have torn
Were put in one vast 'green
It wouldn't be the half enough
, To cover our toastmaster's
'bean.'"
' ; i
Make Applications
Early for (Consulate
' Positions In U. S.
: . Oh, for the life of an ambassa
dor! ! Foreign embassies and onsul
ta'iea in the United States are not af
fected by wartime . prohibition.
i"Booze hounds," moral squads and
even federal officers are nothing in
their lives.
As long as they obey, the laws of
their oun country they may remain
unmolested, no matter how much
red liquor they drink.
Think of it I
If you have a friend who is a
member of the consular service of
a foreign nation, cultivate that
friendship, for embassies and -consulates
of foreign Nations are the
only oasises left in America.
If, you are fond of wine, culti
vate the. Italian cdhsul; he'll un
doubtedly have large quantities
shipped from the sunny penninsula
from tjme to time. x
If you like good old Scotch
whisky, or brandy, or ale, get ac
quainted with a Britisher. He'll be
ure to. have a lot on hand.
But dont wasteyour time with a
Russian Russia's dry.
And don't taktf a job as an am
bassador for the United States to
tome other country, because you'll
still be under the laws of this coun
try and even if you happen to land
jn a wet country, you'll have to sit
around and watch others drink, or
break .the laws of your own country.
,To My Butcher.
Th coin Fv pnt onMhe. dr heart.
Oh thmt It might come bck to met
I count It over while tho tear drops atart,
Z Oh. Marcy me! t
Too cam to ma an angel rare
My ayatera waa with hanger wrung!
Ton gave me chops and Bleaks (or fair,
And I waa atung. .
Oh. memories, why don"t you turn
AwayT Let me forget my loss.
I wondar it we duba wlU avar learn.
" , It raakee ma cross.
Oh Butch.
, it Oiaaca nia wrwaa,
Eligible Omaha Bachelors
"Under a spreading chestnut tree.
The village smithy stnnds.
The smith, a mighty man la he
With strong and sinewy hands:
And the muscles of his brawny arms
Are strong as iron bands."
Longfellow.
Chris Christensen, deputy sheriff
under Sheriff Mike Clark, used to
be a blacksmith in Elk City, Net).
There aren't any elks in Elk City
and it isn't any city, but that's the
name anyway.' It is out the Military
road about 10 miles west of Ben
son. But what we started out to say is
that Chris is a bachelor and is still
eligible and Charlie Hoye and all
the other deputies who are married
Kare anxious to nave someone get
this prize package of a Chris. So
we're doing all we can to get the
old boy married off.
Chris has a comparatively easy
life of it since he became a big city
feller and moved to Omaha. Out in
Elk City he always felt that he was
meant for bigger things. He was a
12 o'clock feller in a 9 o'clock town.
Whole Works by Heck.
He was pretty much the whole
works but there. Not only was he
the village blacksmith but he was
the constable too, by heck.
And, not satisfied with thus 'tend
ing to the living,- Chris also filled
the oWice of sexton of the cemetery
and dug the graves and attended to
funerals.
Yes, he was a pretty busy man in
Elk City. And as a constable he
was a terror to evil doers.
He maintains that reputation to
the present day. He has one of
those stern, fighting faces. And he
is a . dead shot with the revolver,
rifle and shotgun. As a trap shooter
he scores about 96 out of 100.
Don't get the idea that just be
cause Chris has passed the half
century mark without wedding that
he doesn't love the ladies.
He's aN Regular Lothario.
Say, he's a regular Lothario.
'Specially widders. La, la! He cer
tainly is a favorite withvthe'widders.
The other deputies in the sheriff's '
office like to tell how a beautiful
girl "went back" on Chris when he j
was a callow youth of 22 and made '
Chris Chnsths
him vow never to marry. But we
mustn't take too much stock in what
the deputies say about Chris.
They say he fetill "has hopes."
And why shouldn't he have? A
bright young man like Chris, with
a "flivver" and a way'of taking -the
widders out driving in it and escort
ing them to the movies. Why, his
hopes are very well founded.
True, he chaws tobacco. But what
of that? Better men than Chris
have chawed tobacco. And they say
he is as perfect a shcTt at a cuspidor
as he is at a duck or a rSbbit.
Chris rooms near Twenty-fourth
and Lake streets when he is in
Omaha, which is practically all the
time since he has been appointed
a deputy shenrt.
He has some property, too, some
of that fine farm land up north of
Oftiaha.
Ad Meant Porter, But
It Said Partner, and
They All Wanted Job
If Kirschbraun & Sons ever want
to take in a partner the members of
the firm believe there will be no
trouble in finding one.
This creamery and cold storage
firm inserted a want ad in the pa
per recently for a porter. The type
setter set the word up "partner."
Friends of the firm saw the ad
and immediately hatched a little
plot to have a bit of fun. They be
gan to call up
"I see you are advertising for a
partner," said one. "Now, I am just
the man you want., I have a high'
order of ability. I would be glad
to start in at a moderate salaVy of,
say, $5,000, with a share of the prof-1
its. Hows that? an, you wanted a
porter. Oh "
And the telephone was "hung up."
But it soon buzzed again and
there was another volunteer to be
come a partner in the big firm. This
time Mr. Kirschbraun shut the ap
plicant off more quickly and said
some things about the type setter
who had changed the word so mate
rially. But the folks at the other end of
the line were having too much fun
and a dozen more telephone offers
were sent in for the partnership un
til finally the distracted creamery
men were "let in" on the joke.
& I BY A.8TINQBR if H Q
Village Poet
AS VIEWED IN OMAHA
By MICKEY FYNN.
While the strike fever is in the
air and suggestions such as this
may fall on fertile ground, why can
not the common bourgeoisie unite
upon the following program of de
mands, and fight it out on that line
if it takes until next week: '
1. Restoration of full quarter
cuts of all pies, at 5 cents per cut.
2. Immediate re-establishment
as a national institution, of the
$3.50 shoe, with guarantees of one
year's continuous wear.
3. Immediate restoration of the
$1.50 shirt with no reduction in
quality and guarantees of 16
months' wear with washing every
week.
4. Placing within seven days'
time of 50-cent limit on all neck
ties. 5. Return to all lunch coun
ters and restaurants of the 5-cent
ham sandwich.
6. Public renunciation by hat,
suit and overcoat makers of power
to change style oftener than once
every five years.
7. No extra charge shall be
made for bread, butter, toothpicks,
salt or pepper at any hotel, res-
No Worry for Bride;
Name Will Still Be
Murphy After Vows
Elain J. Murphy, Sheldon, la
will not have to become accustefmed
to a new name. Calvm J. Murphy
of Sioux City applied for a license
at the court house and when he
gave his bride-to-be's name to the
ever watchful marriage license
clerk, that individual asked if they
were related.
"Not yet," replied Mr. Murphy,
but soon."
"And all I'll have to remember is
that I'm Mrs. Murphy, instead of
Miss Murphy." explained the second
'party of the contract, .
Omahan on Pacific -Coast
Says They're
Eating Grapes Now
Arthur L. Palmer, .who is spending-his
vacation on the Pacific
coast, writes from San Francisco
that the beaches and peaches remain
in California, but that the gay ones
are learning to eat grapes since
July 1.
After He Had Declined It?
"What mide Latin a dead lan
guage, pa?"
"Oh, I guess somebody dpctored
it." Cartoons Magazine.
Dark horse of the war- The Sal
.vation Army
The village poet, Bobby Edwards,
is a character. He is the poet of the
village, the troubadour, who makes
ukeleles, paints, sculps and writes
music.
You will be very fortunate if
Bobby happens to drop in the Sam
ovar at the dinner, hour. He car
ries his mandolin with him and
sings as he eats impromptu verses
which bring many a laugh to friends
and strangers alike. From his song
book we take the following village
epic, which closely and faithfully de
picts life that goes on there:
Way down Sduth in Greenwich village!
There they wear no fancy frlllage.
For the ladles of the square
All wear smocks and bob their hair.
There Uiey do not think it shocking
To wear stencils for a stocking;
That saves the laundry bills
In Washington Sqnare.
Way down South In Greenwich village,
Where the spinsters come for thrillage.
Where they speak of "soul relations,
With the sordid Slavic nations,
'Neath the guise of feminism,
Dodging social ostracism.
They get away with much
In Washington Square. '
Way" down South in Greenwich village,
W'here they eat Italian swillage.
Where the fnshion Illustrators
Flirt with Interior decorators.
There the cheap Bohemian fakirs
And the boys from Wanamaker's
Gather "atmosphere,"
In Washington Square.
Way down South In Greenwich village,
Where' the brains amount to milage,
Where the girls are unconventional.
And the men are unintentional.
There the girls are self-supporting,
There the ladles do the courtlnc
The ladles buy the "ep
lu Washington Squ
Here's Very Latest
Receipt for Making
T T .11
i our Doozeatnome
It is being rumored that in some
.sections moonshine booze is being
made by a process that calls for an
ice cream freezer, instead of the
time-honored lard can.
Bv this orocess. it is said, the
"mash" is put in the freezer, and
when it has become frozen the
booze just serar. - ivntn the mash
and "there you are," with no dis
tilling needed and nr smoke to it as
a giveaway. Of course bv this pro
cess it would be necessary to be
near a town to get a supply of i.e.
but in spite of inconveniences of
that sort large sales of ice cream
freezers are repor fi "' some
sections t..oi;ir.i 'lis immedinte sec
tion : said to be still ithful to the
lard can.
Advertises for Lost
Keys, Burglar Finds
Them, Steals Money
A Pennsylvania man advertised a
liberal reward for a bunch of keys
he had lost. That -night the finder of
the keys entered the man's office, un
locking the door to the office and his
safe with the kfys, and took $184.
Burglars, as well as chicken
thieves, read advertisements.
taurant, cafe, eating house, chop
house, or lunch counter.
8. Maximum retail price of $5
on all necessary silk shirts. 1
9. No reduction in salaries,
wages, stipends, monetary remun
eration or pay.
10. Immediate restoration bf 4
per cent beer.
11. Immediate and uncondition
al restoration of the 10-cent ice
cream soda.
12. Return, without the aid or
consent of any foreign barber, to
the 35-cent haircut.
13. Shoe shines to be not more
than 5 cents per shine.
14. Maximum price of one
pound boxes of the finest choco
lates to be fixed at 60 cents, upon
ratification by three-fourths of the
states.
The committee has decided that
only through the adoption without
reservation of the above historic 10
points can true democracy be re
stored to the nation. If there are
anv willful mpn vuhn cranH nut
J against the program, Ut them step
i forward and take their choice of hav
ing their hair clipped or suffer the
executive committee to place a moth
in their new suits.
How Muc".i Have You?
Lord Leverholme, the soap mag
nate, has 500,000 acres in England
and another nobleman has 900,000
acres.
t And the Weather So Hot, Too.
"I haven't been bathing this sum
mer," we heard a girl say t'other
day.
STOCKINGLESS.
(Not by Amy Lowell, the free versifier).
I see a woman walking along the
streets stockingless.
Without stockings (sometimes call
ed hose).
Another man sees her also, two oth
er men see her, many other men
see her.
They stop and look and grin. Yes.
grin, ukin.
A woman sees her, two women set
her. manv wnm,n cpa Uor
They don't stop, nor grin. They
neither stop nor grin. No they
don't.
They sneer and turn up their noses
uiKurativeiyi speaking), ana tne.v
call her a hnlH Iiucc,"
But the woman, the stockingle5-
woman, the woman without stock
ings or hose, is happy. Yes, she is
happy, HAPPY.
Why is she hannv. H.APPY?
Because she is saving the price of a
pair of silk hose which sell in the
department stores tor $2.50 or for
$3.50. or for $5, or for $10, or for
more if they are clocked?
Is this the reason the stockinRles
woman, the woman withou stock
ings, is happy, HAPPY?
No. this is not the reason why the
stockingless woman, the woman
without stockings, is happy,
HAPPY.
I repeat, this is not the reason.
What is the reason, then? you ask,
that the stockingless woman, the
woman without stockings, is hap
py, HAPPY.
This is the reason why the stocking
less woman, the womr.i without
stockings, is happy, HAPPY:
Because she is being stared at by the
men, cruel men, ungentlemanly
men, MEN, men, men, men, men,
men, men, men.
See the stockingless woman. What
j is she doing? She is getting on a
I street car, right at the most
crowded corner of the downtown
! district.
'Her short skirt is tight. She gets
on the car slowly. There is a
i mysterious smile on her lips. The
car has gone. And all the simps
on the corner are grinning.
, Still, I don't see why they are grin
ning, when they can go out to the
Krug park bathing beach any day
and
The days are getting shorter now
! and the weather next December
j will not be so warm as it is now.
j STATISTICS.
j If there were as many butlers in
' real life as there are in the movies,
j every fifth man would be a butler,
i
Wait Maybe They Are Air Pumps I
Scaggs: How have the boys at
the club been getting on since the
nation went dry?
Waggs: They've taken to wear
ing pumps.
Picnickers at Park,
Lunch at City Hall,
And No One to Haul It
Twenty-nine young women of the
city hall refuse to speak to J. J.
Isaacson, superintendent of public
recreation.
"We would not give him a drink J
of water if he was hanging out of a
window," was the acrid comment J
of one of the displeased maidens.
Mr. Isaacson promised these
young women recently that he
would call for them at an appointed
time at the city hall and haul them
in his automobile to the picnic.
Four of the party remained on
iruard with the eatables at the city
hall, watching and waiting for
"Jake" and his automobile. Twenty-five
were waiting at Krug park
for the provender. Mr. Isaacson
was due at 5 p. m.. but at 6 he was
blacklisted by the waiting picnick
ers. Commissioner Falconer re
sponded to a call and he gallantly
rushed the packages of food to the
park. When Isaacson appeared at
the city hall about 6:30 he could not
locate the lunch, so he burned the
road to Kruc narlr to present his
alib
Commissioner Has
Sworn Affidavit to
BackUp Fish Story
Here's a tip for Omaha fisher
men. W'hen Sophus Neble, chairman of
the board of county commissioners,
returned from Lake Minnewaska,
Minn., where he spent his vacation,
he began telling his friends how he
caught the largest wall-eyed piode
ever reeled in from the lake.
Like all fishermen he found many
doubters. But Mr. Neble had re
turned prepared. He produced a
sworn affidavit stating that he had
actually caught just what he said he
had. It was signed by H. H. Peters
of Glenwood and witnessed by C.
E. Abbott of Fremont. The weight
of the fish is certified to have been
five and three-quarters pounds.
New York, With $1.90
Steaks, Loses Dignity,
Says Judge R. W. Patrick
"Broadway had lost its oldtime
gracious dignity." was the sad com
mentary offered by Robert W. Pat
rick, judge of the municipal court,
when he returned last week from a
visit in the east. He attended the
Elks convention at Atlantic City and
also paid his devoirs to "Little Old
New York."
It had been 15 years since the
judge visited Gotham's famous thor
oughfare and he found a different at
mosphere on this visit.
"When I was there IS years ago," .
added the judge, "I observedjnany
well-groomed men and women and
there was a marked atmosphere of
gracious dignity. On this occasion
I felt quite at ease in a blue serge
suit and white shirt. And the prices,
they are now charging! I took a
friend into one place for tea. My
friend had tea and a chicken sand
wich and I had tea and three muf
fins. The charge was $2.05. Sirloin
steak for one is $1.90 and a cup of
coffee is 30 cents. I am speaking of
the places where one gets service. It
is not tne same om uroaaway at all.
And I want to state that I would
rather live in Omaha than in New
York City. The old idea that the
New York stamp on anything is a
guarantee of superiority, is a myth
which has been discounted.
"I am proud that I live 'Out
Wtere the West Begins.'"
OH. MAGGIE!
A-s'ahdlng in a garden.
Where posies dwell, galore.
There mused a lovely maiden.
And this Is what she wrote:
A petticoat of petals
Of purest virgin white.
A bodice of plump orange.
She- was a winsome sight
Alns, she was a-lseklng.
Her stocking of sea green
KneaHed but a single limb.
The slimmest ever seen.
She swayed to ev'ry aephyr.
She was so wondrous sweet
That God took pity on her
And named her Marguerite.
--R. B. It