. Vff The Omaha Sunday Bee 10 B OMAHA, SUNDAY MORNING, JULY 13, 1919. 'Probation Officer Tells Reasons Why Men Get Drunk Twenty-six Excuses Given to Court Officer by Men Arrested for Intoxication ; Everything From Birth days to Rows With Family. nuncn ana io$r a. cuarfcrJ r i v y n 1 1 1 ,i - MMieaif or mr ' II I J . J I I I I 1 A , IR M. X. aWG--3"v f y i&ss - i ruj u 7JA l i n 'x - a i . v-vx .c7 f iron v n y -v.au ini i.a zt'm ri i iihiimi .mnwu r, at A y.v am uir I HAte A HEART ff ' fcss Warning! Don't twit the Kid about his being a prognosticator! Also listen to this. If you want to win a bet on any fistic encounter take the opposite side doped out by the sporting editors. The odds'll be with you. ' This is the way it hap pens. The Kid was, for a number of years, welterweight champ of the world." Get that? The office force Bouquet of Live, Human Interest When They Wooed and Won In the days of old, when knights were bold, and barons had credit st the corner grocery, it was the ..custom fpr y6urig Lochinvars to . ride posthaste to the habitat of : their": Imegene, - ttirow a rose into the'open window, or otherwise offer some material evidence of their state of mind. The fair Imogene, if she should be in a reciprocal mood, would throw a kiss in token of her love,1 or she might slam the window down with a pout and a haughty tilt of her nose; The animal on which the j Lochinvar would be astride would be known as a "steed," or a "charger," and mayhap the young lord would wear a shining sword and. he may have been - incased .in armor. If the young, woman in the case tossed a. rose,4he young man would be heartened; to return the call and meet the folks. J. CDahlman', former, mayor ot Omaha, and now in the government service, did not have. a. "steed or "charger," when he was a cowboy ' and sheriff at Chadron, Neb., and along about the timewhen. he was foreman of the Newman ranch on the Niobrara river, out in the sand hill country. He rode a "cow pony, or a broncho which was as lively as a bunch of firecrackers. When this critter can-.! to a full stop it left four holes in the ground where it had planted its feet. In other words, it came to a Stop on all fours. When "Jimrf Dahlman was a young" man he lived in the saddle. It was 40 miles from the Newman ranch to the nearest trading point up in' the Pine Ridge agency. He knew Colonel Blanthard who had Biting On Rubber Bait -,' Makes Even Bass Feel r like a Great Sucker When V fish is hodked after; he has sunk hii teeth into a nice, juicy piece of bait, he at least has the satisfaction of having had a nib ble at. something worth while. as a compensation for his doom. .But the latest thing in bass bait does not " give him that satisfaction. Out in Kansas City is an angler to whom goes the credit for the latest novelty the "rubber neck" " bait. The "rubber neck" bait is an Imitation of pork bait It consists of . I little w4d of white rubber, through which the hook is driven, and to which is attached a little narrow . nnin nnra white sheet rubber. . "This bait reproduces perfectly. says the inventor, xne scrpenune " wriggling motion Of a real live min now v:hen seeking cover. Beside being very durable, it "has the ad vantage over real pork, bait of be . ing easy to carry and clean to use." The "ruber neck' 'is rapidly be coming popular witbA bass fisher men nd the inventor is. reaping a harvest Th bait is attached either directly to i spoon hook, or is fastened by tacking in back ,of a floating wooden Dowagiac minnow. T -r - Needed ' L. . "Di4yoirtver, notice that motion pictures have vogues? For instance, AW,X0.' NAVE A HEART , t NOTE WHEN A S PORTING 37 ON THE OTHFX MAN accordingly has had much respect for -his judgment. The Kid won't admit it now, but before he left for the big scrap he slipped it into our ear and other ears that one; to wit: Jess Willard had slightly the bulge on the challenger. Did the boys around the office take heed.? They did. Let's look behind the scenes. What the M. E.' lost no one -knows. Maybe nothing, but, . it certainly interests at the agency and also at the Newman ranch. A young woman who was serving at Pine Ridge as private tutor also knew the Blanchards, and it was through that acquaintance that Mr. Dahlman met the young woman. On a spring day, after having James 'CBaMimn vampire, western and society stories are popular at different times." "I wish there would be a good picture vogue." . " From July Film Fun. Fort Omaha Balloon Man Predicted Trip of British Aviators The flight of the British dirgible to this country was watched with keen interest by( Leo A. Stevens, aircraft pilot, designer and builder, who has been one of the prominent advocates of the lighter-than-air type of craft for commercial use. Nine years ago Stevens propresied that within 10 years the Atlantic would be crossed in a lighter-than-air machine. He now maintains that the heavier-than-air machines will be outclassed by the big gas bags which are capable of carrying scores of passengers and tons of freight. Reel Two. "What's the star so mad about?" " "During the cafe scene he forgot himself and tipped the waiter with real money." Fronf July Film Fun. Hotel rooms wilt cost twice as much when prohibition sets in. They'll be worth it. -Who wants to sit up all night at a soda fountain? 'Pittsburg is no better to live in even if you spell .it without the h. looks suspicious when he tells us that an article with illustrations to kid the Kid woufd be acceptable. Heinie Bets Quarter Heinie the office boy and picnic fiend backed up his belief with a large sized quarter and now opines the Kid should reimburse him for his lose. The city editor, it is told, lost three bets and we saw him with a bookay of brick-bats laying in wait to avenge his misplaced con fidence. You've read the Kid's articles. In forecasting it is always best to have a joker or amendment. You notice with what pride the attention is brought to the prediction that the first one to land a blow with a kick in it would be the winner. The next time you meet the Kid ask him if he really and truly didn't favor Jess, and then watch him hedge. He will, too, but watch him switch to the first blow prediction. Shucks! When it comes to predic tions 6r prognostications or what ever you call 'em, I'd like to bet the Kid or any other sport writer any amount that the next fighter that gives Dempsey a knock out will be the next champion. Any takers? Schlitz in Dry Toledo. Y'otta hear the Kid tell of his :- y Edward Bia ridden 40 miles from the ranch to the agency in about nothing flat, he invited the young woman for a ride "this evening." Now it must be remembered that he was from the south, where evening meant the hours usually known up north as afternoon. The young woman was from the New England states, she understood evening to mean the hours after sundown, and she so understood the invitation. She plainly and quickly told the young cowboy from the sandhills that the young women of her set back in New England did not consider it proper to go out riding after dusk with young men, unchaperoned. The young cowboy explained that he meant evening as he understood it, meaning before the evening meal time. : She accepted the explana tion and accepted the invitation. He obtained a tractable cowpony for her and they went out for a ride, and then there were many other rides together. After a while she said she thought she would return to her New Eng land home, but he told her of the great and growing west and asked her if she would join her fortunes with his. So the boys down at the Newman ranch were invited to the wedding, and the teacher who came all of the way from New England' out to "where the west begins," is now Mrs. Dahlman. And afterward Mr. Dahlman was careful not to. ask his wife to go out with him in the "evening," when he really meant "afternoon." Says Fish Comes if One Whistles for Him; Maybe He'll Do the Shimmie Too Frank Elias, charge d'affaires in the office of the city department, is telling his latest fish story, and he has told it so often that he believes it himself. According to Frank, there is a large bass among the many fish in the lagoon of Miller park. This bass has been in the pond for years. It has been there so long that it knows the people and it is the boss of the other bass, the bullheads and the gold fish. "All I have to do is to go out there and whistle and this bass sticks its nose out of the water, holds its head sort of slantwise, as much as to expect a piece of cake. It will not eat bread, because I have "spoiled it with cake," Frank related. : '- Mr. Bass plows through the wa ter and sends all of. the other fish helter-skelter. It has a particular aversion against the gold fish, and is content to lord it over; the bull heads. . . This piscatorial pet can wink and can catch in its mouth pieces of cake thrown by Frank Elias, so the story goes. You never hear anyone knocking the Erie, the New Haven or the B. & A. now. Nix. They go direct to headquarters and knock. th gov ernment, ...5T " - , i to rY Toledo trip. Honest! its criminal to come back here with the ther mometer flirting With blood heat and tell about rea beer. Nor near beer, but honest to goodness Schlitz with the old time kick to it tell about high balls and things and tell how hot it was there. The Kid sure has a tin ear if you tell him that the moving picture machines register seven falls, for the Kid knows different. He was there. He counted them himself. There were five falls. Count 'em. Five! and he reassures us he was not affected by the heat. If you are willing the Kid will show you how the first blow was delivered a left, mind you, not, a right, as some low brow nuobserv ent writers would lead one to be lieve. ' ' Aside from all this we know of a pool or pot. We won't divulge the participants or place. The betting was on the number of rounds the fight would last. Did the know-all-about-it sports win? They, did not. A lovely bit of feminity walked away with the gravy" anjd chortled to us as if she had shown great prevision, and we doubt very much if she ever heard of the Marquis of Queensberry. U & ih m INTERESTING INFORMATION. The feathers of the Abyssinian wild plum are used in making cigar ettes. Ham and cabbage was invented by a poor" cobbler in Ireland. He was good-nighted by the king and died in great agony. Elmer Thomas was named while still a small child. His parents called hiih "Elmer", not "Mr. Thomas." The output of the turnip mines of San Domingo last year was 9,874, 309.2 tons. , , . Silas Greenhorn of Spinach Cor ners, Kentucky, holds the endurance record in a Ford car. He drove one 34.3 miles without a stop. He spent seven weeks in a hospital but is now apparently nje the worse for his terrible experience. Scientists have never been able to explain the taste of those human beings who like tripe. Our revolutionary forefathers knew nothing of the Victrola. It was invented long after their day. Very powerful telescopes are re quired to see the names of the fixed stars. The Peruvian bulbutus builds its Two More Bachelors Eager to Find 'Only Girr Through Bee One of Men, Who Appeal to Metropolitan Page Editor, Has Nice Farm, While the Other Is Building a Home in Nearby City. Encouraged y the results secured by R, U. Ready, twentieth century farmer, who appealed to the Metro politan page editor to find him a mate, two more.bachelors have writ ten the editor asking aid in finding the "only girl." Both have good dispositions, they say, and possess loving natures. Better still, both are in a position to furnish homes when they find the girl they are looking for, according to their letters. ' One has a home in the process of construction in a neighboring city. That the homebuilding in stinct is as strong in the breast of the man as in that of the woman, has , often been shown, but, what, after all, is a home without a wife waiting to welcome you at the door after a hard day's work? No doubt the "Homebuilder," let us call him that, has begun to real ize that although the joy of build ing a home for a time may suffice to fill his life with joy, only the presence of a little woman he can call his wife will bring complete and lasting joy. ferhaps, also, he pic tures a group of happy children playing about the doorstep, waiting to greet him his children. I am five feet seven inches tall. writes the Homebuilder. "My hair is dark brown and my eyes light brown. I have a fair job with a wholesale firm, and would like to correspond with some maiden of from Z5 to 35 years old." tiacbelor Mo. . who, .wishes, his Kicr Hike Aarn nookea dv o - Fishermen at Carter Lake Chamber of Commerce Members Discuss Tale of Fourth of July Outing of George H. Walker and Fish That Escaped From Hook. There has been a revival of the annual story of the big pike having been seen in Carter lake. This time the fish was seen by George H. jWalker, member of the Chamber of Commerce. He has filed an affi davit that the story is true to the letter. Walker spent a greater portion of the Fourth of July on the waters of Carter lake, tempting the bass to take the lure. He failed to land any bass, but in his affidavit he alleges that he hooked a pike, or some other kind of a fish, and that it was as large as a small whale. According to Walker, he was cast ing for bass when all of a sudden something struck his hook, run the line out to its full length and as soon as it felt the prick of the hook, turned and made straight for the boat. It was then that Walker got a glimpse of the fish, and he avers that if it was an inch, it was four feet long. Starting to reel in, Walker again pricked the fish and off it -went, dragging the boat. About this, time the rod flew into splinters and away the -fish went, a little by a . stiwobiL nest in. branches of watermelon trees Scales are being built by an Osh kosh firm which are strong enough to weigh Dan Butler and Gus Miller at the same- time. Among the savage tribes of Sene gambia it is stylish for the women to wear furs in the summer time. A single whale will yield a large amount of whale oil and wholebone. The larger the whale the greater the amount of oil and bone it yields. WE. SURRENDER! (Ad. In London Tlmea.) Telephone Every effort having, been ' ttmda to secure the Installation of fthertelephone but without auccees, -.-.will mme generous and patriotic -telephone subscriber In the South Ken- sing-ton District afford the most val uable, assistance and help to two de mobilized officers, who have recently started In business and are employing several demobilized soldiers, by sur rendering; their telephone number, " thereby rendering them the most sub stantlaF assistance In the foundation of their business. Box C-742, The Times. THE.WRpSTLING MATCH. "3:16 Lewis misses dive for Lewis' legs and comes up in Lewis' Iname signed as" "Your Chance," is not particular about the looks of the"w6man he marries, as long as she is a, good dresser, he says. ."I am a lonely bachelor farmer." writes Your Chance, "and would like to meet someone who would like a good home. -1 want some one who has a true heart and a good disposition. I don't care for looks, as long as she dresses well. "I quit school in the ninth grade, started farming, and have kept it up ever since. I am not homely or good looking, just common. How ever, I am good natured, and have a loving disposition. I will make an effort to meet all -who care to write to me. and I will answer all letters." Here are two men who are of fering homes, one in the city, and One in the country. Take your pick. The . Metropolitan page editor will watch with much interest to see if the Homebuilder, with his city property, or Your Chance, with his broad rolling acres, will receive the most replies. It isn't fair for the same girl to write to both of them Letters to either will be forward ed with only one request on the part of the editor; that in case a happy marriage should result, the news be brought to him. Lillian Russell and Mary Rob ert Rinehart brine more fame to Pittsburgh than BarneV Dreyfus' 1' 1 - J L II wugic fttof uau icaui, v later the line disappearing beneath the water. The incident of Walker and the fish is said to have taken place about midway between the Carter Lake club grounds and the red ice houses on the east shore of the lake. It was near this point that Dr. C. W. Hayes, deceased, hooked and land ed a 15-pound pike some 10 years ago. Whether or not Walker's lure was struck by a gigantic pike is some thing that Chamber of Commerce men are debating. However, it is believed that some immense fish of this family inhabit the lake. Some 25 years ago, when Lew May was Nebraska fish commissioner, he planted 10,000 pike in Carter lake. What became of them has never been known. Few have been caught, and it is said that if they are still there and have grown as they should, by' this time they are as large as small whales. "Taneerine" 'and "lingerie" al most rhyme. Tangerine is yellow on the outside and red inside. Lingerie is usually pink on the outside and that's as far as we've seen. Stories n fi (3 headlock, .which is easily broken," says the account of the struggle in an evening paper. Which calls to mind the recent re port in another paper that a soldier in France, at the recent athletic tour nament, "threw the discus 40,000 meters. FARMA VIRUMQUE CANO. (By Lowell Miller, 18, son. of Probation Officer "Gus," who haa Juat returned from the farm.) In the evening, soft and low, When you're got a girl or so, Don't yon wish that yon ctiold go Back to the farm again? Oh no! 11. When yon alt and look at her. And as Into her ear yon purr All emotions yea endure, Dont you hate that farm? Why sure! III. And as you ait there on the couch, Her old man begins to crouch I'p behind you with a grooeh, Don't you say that simple word? Just Ouch! IV. And In the morn when you forget That against the farm you're act. And you forget the girl you met, Don't you lore your farm? You bet! SIGNS Iu the Union station barber shop, "PRIVATE TOWLS." "Buggy" Woman Wins Her Mention on "Bug" Page by "Big" Dinner The scene was a large restaurant at a busy hour. Waiters were hur rying about bearing heavy trays and hastening to remove used dishes. One woman, blissfully ignorant of the rush, was perusing the menu card for dishes to suit her fancy. For five minutes an impatient waiter had been standing at her side. "Have you soft shell crabs to day?" or "What is your best kind of salad?" were questions that kept coming at . intervals as the clock marked the lapse of time and angry and hungry diner glared. After the condition of the oysters had been ascertained and numerous queries answered the waiter poised his pencil for at least a 10-course dinner order, when the fair diner said sweetly: "Please bring me a bottle of pop." Dreadful Threat "Late again!" cried the irate mov ing picture director of the members of his company. "Do you actors think that you can stroll into the studio at half-past ten every morn ing and get away with it? This isn't a national bank. But, by hum phrey! I'll get even with -you! To morrow we start filming that Alpine drama with the fog and cloud ef fects. Reports at the old quarry at 4:30 a. m. You are all going to be shot at sunrise every morning for a week" Being shot at sunrise is harder hardship for a movie actor than it is for a prisoner of war' Hodge Podge. "Pa, what is a nightmare?" "It's .something that men who write, comedy. motion picture scen arios get very frequesly " erFrom July Filar Twenty-six reasons answering the eternal question: "Why do men get drunk?" have been promulgated by a probation officer who has studied the problem intimately for many years. Here are the underly ing reasons: . " 1. They want liquor and they will have it. But it is an acquired taste. After taking the first drink of whisky in his life nobody ever hankered for the second, although he learned afterward to like it. 2. They need their beer or ale to relieve thirst, so they say. Very often this is true." 3. The doctor ordered whisky f- h.m nnr nnnii a time, and that 1V 1 1 1 V- V . . , prescription lasts forever and for all things. Whetner n is cniiDiams or iA.thrt, .rsmn or nain. stomach- luuiuaviiv, . - - - i ache as some men tell the judge- influenza or rupture, or pieunsy way down in their abdomen, whisky is their panacea. 4. Financial troubles of every name and description. 5. Family rows. Husband is jealous, generally without cause. Ufif Hiiv tnn manv thincs on the instalment plan. - Perhaps there is a star boarder. 1 he daughter s gen tleman callers are objectionable to the old man. His filthy talk and vile accusations, absolutely inseparable from-the booze habit, break up the family life and lead to more drink on his part. ' 6. Bad weather. Too hoi, too cold, too stormy, etc. ! 7. Death in the household a very frequent cause of drink. 8. Wife is going to have a baby. The poor husband loses his nerve just when his assistance is most nHri anrt th natrnl wapon lucrs him off to the police station. 9. Disappointed in love. After his best girl jilted him Charles squared things up with' her by getting drunk. 10. Keligious disagreements. 11. Too many convivial com- Danaons. Drinking then may be classed among the contagious diseases. 12. Celebrating a hohdav. a birta- day or the like. 13. Because he went to a funeral, a wedding or a christening. H. rear ot ridicule ana tne jeers of friends. , 15. Fear of arrest or a summons to appear in court. About Eligible Omaha Bachelors If Harry M. Christie had re mained a country school teacher he would not now count his wealth in six, figures. That' seems a fairly safe statement. But he abandoned the three "R's" for the big "R" or real estate and now look at him! Wealth as srarerl hicr automobile. apartment in the Hamilton, member of many clubs, long vacations spent in travel. He lives like the heroes in the Traffic Signal .Box On Sixteenth Street , Entertains Crowds Speculation was rife around Six teenth and Harney streets last week when the new traffic signal station was being installed as to the nature of the queer. "box on a pole." One pedestrian suggested that a light house was being built, while another said that it was to be an observation tower to scan the country for boot leggers. A landing platform for air planes was expected by one pro phetic gazer to be the resulting edifice of which the steel column was the first support. At last a traffic cop ended the speculation by telling the purpose of the heavy steel question provoker. tlndesirable Citizens. And don't you yearn To smash Jack LJaw, - Who always vows that tit nas saw.' And oft you've wished To see impounded Jim Jenks, who. wept When friends were drownded. It drives me madder Than ever jazz did To hear Bill Brown Murder "haa did," 16. Fear of an impending opera tion or a tooth extraction. 17. A desire to be smart, tough or the real thing. 18. Because a stranger offered him the liquor. 19. Because of unusual hardships and other disagreeable features connected with their job. Herein lies every imaginable excuse. 20. To stimulate an appetite. 1 can't eat anything unless I have a ball first," or "I can't eat fried stuff." 21. To encourage sleep. 22. To brace up his courage gen erally or to forget his sorrows. 23. Many men, such as teamsters or icemen, deliver goods at the sa loon or are constantly driving by the door, so that the temptation is always with them. 24. Because the saloorv is a social center and a very convenient one at that. He must be a mighty cheap sport who won't support the insti tution which he frequents. 25. The saloon is a convenient banking institution for borrowing money or cashing checks. The fav ored person, of course, returns the kindness by buying a few drinks. 26. For countless thousands of men the saloon is the public com fort station, providing the only available toilet accommodations dur-. ing business hours and open till 11 o'clock at night. This is one of th chief causes of drinking and is a feature of the problem that most of the temperance and prohibition peo- Only 1 5 Men Turn Out When .General Wood Inspects Fort Crook The 20th infantry, United States regulars, established at Fort Crook two weeks ago, has been stripped from 1,750 men to 157 officers and men. Seven distinct companies are, now organized at the fort. Some skeleton! Col. J. W. Jordan, commanding rffirr aaiH that hut IS nlistM men were avananie ior uuiy wiicn ma jor General Wood made his trip of. inspection last week." ' ' The entire 15 turned put. tt ! Li. J. ...1 ir. People "movies" except that he hasn't a Jap valet so far as we know. Harry was born in Pennsylvania in the ancient town of Greensburg in 1870. He came to Iowa with his parents when he was a small boy grew Up at Stewart, la., where he went through the public schools, including the' hjgh school. Then he took a course in the Dexter Nor mal college at Dexter, la., and was already to teach. ; But $60 a month didn't prove attractive to him very long. He was a 12 o'clock feller in a 9 o'clock town. So he moved to a ,: 12 o'clock town, to Omaha, and went into the real estate business -on the south side in 1895. He prospered' and later associated himself with W. Farnam Smith, in which asso ciation he still continues. . Harry is one of those efficiency, fellows who has the gift of accom plishing a great deal with a mini mum of effort. Though apparently never in a rush, he does an enor mous amount of work. He is a bachelor, but not a woman hater. No, indeed! Quite the opposite. He likes to take the girls riding in his motor car and he likes to dance with them- at the. Athletic club, Field club, Semour, Lake club and other clubs to which he belongs. He likes to take 'em to the theaters and movies. In fact he makes himself very useful in this respect. He was president of the Omaha , Real Estate exchange and is active' as an officer in several other city organizations, as well as some cut in the state. "Marry in haste; repent at lei- -sure," is Harry's motto and hi sticks to it. Trusty Pours Water on a Police Captain and Latter "Blows Up" The quiet of Police Captain Vy' nous' sanctum was rudely broken when a stream of water poured, through his open window and drenched his new uniform. Turnkey Charlie Elotts told a trusty to take a hose and wash xff ; the front steps. The captain's win, dow was open and very handy to the steps. A wag chanced along. "Be sure and water those flowers on the window sill," he instructed the trusty. Mr- Trusty believes "orders is or ders.' He turned the hose full on the flower box on the captain's win dow sill. The flowers were well wet. But they were not alone in their glory. Vanous' snowy white cap with gold eagles and silver doodads all over it was also well wet. His shirt and trousers, too, were well wet. With a roar and a sputter, he raced from his deck. Trusty, turn key, sergeants, patrolmen, every body even the reporters were ob jects of his tirade. Ball players will cost three cents a mile while traveling this season and a lot more than that while they're eating, " ,