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The Omaha Sunday Bee
LOO
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12 B
OMAHA, SUNDAY MORNING, APRIL 20. 1919.
; Weill Look who's here! Some
rogues gallery, eh? Everybody's
r - been taking credit for winning
the war. .Some claim it was gaio
line. The ship men claim is was
; the ships. The automobile has
its supporters and so on but it was
' the Literary Digest in its issue 'of
; April 12 that came forward and
' , gave the cartoonist his due." Look
!'you here and see Who's Who in
cartoondum. There's one mis
. ! take been made, though. , A car
v toonist is " not always neces
'.'t sarily a caricaturist, so we see
some of the contributors trying
to make themselves as good look
;' ing as possible. This is not a
j case of "see ourselves as others
I see us," but rather a case of intra-
visualization.
Some Mugs These.
Just look at some of these
- mugs. Some 52 of 'em. Thir-!-
teen of 'em pay tribute to My
i Lady Nicotine. Six pipes, five
cigars and two cigarets the pipes
have it. And still we know posi
tively that some of 'em .have not
incorporated their source of in
' spiration in their delineations. We
J know that Spencer, down the
'street has a corn-cob tucked away
'-in his desk somewhere. We didn't
' know, though, that McCutcheon
thought so much of his looks, nor
? Ireland, nor Marcus. Cesare has
. a blind spot in one eye. Fitzpat-
rick and Donahey seem to have a
grudge against themselves, while
Z Briggs and Goldberg are the re
averse. We fear Bronstrup is try
ing to hide the absence of some-
thing by wearing his hat.
'' Our Own Mutt.
1 The homely looking mutt near
,the center of the page is no other
than the Omaha Bee's cartoonist
?and erstwhile nut artist right
there with all these notables.
Powell says he wishes he had
some hair from the back of his
' neck on top of his head.
. No matter what part of the
J. country you come from you will
' find here the self-depicted mug
'I that helps create public opinion.
;;Zim, Rogers and Kemble are
" well-known outside of cartoon
; dom. Darling looks like his
v name. Bushnell looks like Ca
ruso. Some are quite serious.
::Some do it with a smile Any
way, as the Digest says, "They
i, helped win the war."
j More power to 'em!
; Story of thejHuman
Semaphore Inspires
, Woman to Write Poem
if .
, An article itnThe Bee last Sunday
about Traffic Officer J. J. Dudley,
who is stationed at Sixteenth and
;Parnam streets, inspired an Omaha
-woman to write the following ex
pression in rhyme. She wishes to
be known as "Mrs. J. M". J.":
( - w'THB TRAJTIC COP.','
Hava you aeen the human aamaphore
On a downtown lnteraectlon.
jWlth hla arma In tha air,
Warning all to bewara
' Of trafflo from every direction T
. ,
'From east to weat, from north to louth,
' Full of "pap" la all hla motion.
It la aura Colonel Vim ,
Haa nothing on him.
In thla atranuoua locomotion.
Thara'a meaning In every movement,
' That all will have to obey;
Should you fall to heed.
And by him try to apeed.
. A fine and coata you wilt pay.
If Iff health and atrength you're aeeklng.
Follow thla "cop'a" Inclination;
Forty thouaand tlmea a day.
Swing your arma the lame way,
With hla vim and determination.
" Foolishment
She klswed him at 7 p. m.
. He emlled and then murmured Ahem!
Your klaa la delicloua. f
" It makea me auBplcloua
That you are devil, pro tern.
Bouquet of Live, Human Interest
When They Wooed and Won
The city directory and telephone
directory show his name as i nomas
J. Flynn," but plebians and patric
ians alikecall him "Tom!" Officially
"he bears the designation of United
'States marshal for this district.
" .
? The accompanying picture de
picts Tom at about the time he at
tained his majority, when he was
dreaming of becoming a plutocratic
plumber, instead of a puissant poli
tician. Tom's parents knew a family by
!lhe name of O'Connell in Ireland.
The Flynns and the O'Connells
ttame to the United States without
'knowing--of the movements or
'hereabcuts of each other until
"many years later and therein lies
"the interest of the story. The Flynns
fettled in Omaha and the O'Connells
located on a farm about 20 miles
'cast of Council Bluffs.
Sam Old O'Connells.
is The-elder Flynns went to the
'"Columbian exposition in Chicago in
'1993, and through friends they
learned that the O'Connells had been
'at the exposition two weeks before.
They did not know for a certainty
Uhat this- was the family that they
;had known in Ireland, but they were
determined to look them up. When
they returned to Omaha they wrote
:a letter, and then visits followed,
"which' proved that the O'Connells
Jwere their old friends of other days
i ;fn Erin's Isle. '
.- Tom accompanied his parents on
.i visit" to the O'Connell farm and he
discovered that among the family of
! cliia parents' friends was I young wo
. "pwn whose charms were peculiarly
m keeping with the ideals he had
cherished for a long time. He
planned his, campaign of attack upon
"ier heart by writing letters, sending
Valentines on Valentine's day, and
otherwise showing' his attentions.
.Tom's trips to the O'Connell farm
Jecamer more frequent and the
years. went by in pleasant ways for
this twain.
' ' "I knew my wife seven years be
fore we were married, and I don't
tolievt that - she - knows - m - yet,"
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sTkt.C i in ( lW MORRIS SATTERFIELD.
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FU
Seattle rst-Intclligencer
remarked Tom Flynn. Just imaigne
such words from the United States
marshal.
Twas at Noonday.
' He avers that when he proposed
he did not utter a lot of inane words
on bended knees, .beneath the
moon's pale light. It was beneath
a noonday sun, and he declared him
self in straightforward terms.
"I put up a single-handed fight
and won," is the way he tells it now,
and there is no reason to doubt
him. That is the way he reduced the
population of the O'Connell farm.
In talking over the matter the
other-day- he -said he 'believed the
r
BR1NKERHOFF M-yK, M
"r Tr - .
STARRETT Wicbiia Eagle
SOME CARTOONISTS WHO HELPED WIN THE WAR -CARICATURED BY
By Edward Black
photograph which is reproduced
herewith, had something to do with
the case. He sent a copy of this
picture to the O'Connell farm and
Miss O'Connell responded with her
photograph.
"I did not see how she could re
sist that photograph," Tom re
marked reminiscently.
If the exposition had not been
held in Chicago in 1893, it is not
probable that this story could have
been told. Tom declares that he is
glad the exposition was held and
his folks attended.
Did He Expect Just
Grape Juice or Fluid
With More of a Kick?
The magician, Murdock, who mys
tified the multitude at the Boyd
theater all last week, had one trick
which resulted almost in a tragedy
for one of the audience. It was on
Wednesday night that the near
tragedy occurred.
Murdock had a "wonder bottle."
From it he poured any kind of drink
(excepting only those prohibited by
the law which went into effect May
1. 1917.) He asked the folks in the
audience to tell what they wanted
as he passed through the aisle with
a glass.
A man in the second, row asked
for grape juice. Murdock poured it
out and the man drank it, declaring
it to be excellent. A woman in the
fifth row asked for milk and it was
poured out and she drank it. So he
went on. .He returned to the stage
finally, broke the bottle and took
from it a live guinea pig.
As he did this the man in the sec
ond row who had drunk the grape
juice seemed to be taken sick. He
clapped his handkerchief to his lips
and hastily left the theater.
Gosh!
There waa a arlrl named Mnlly,
Who thinks ahe'a a pretty Folly,
But would you auppose.
When ahe looka at her noae,
It bai avahace like a polly'af "
v;,.t.ri u. n a ii . .
Cleveland Plain
If Snow White Pigeon
Alights On Auto Is It
A Good or a Bad Omen
Is a pigeon the same as a dove,
and if so, is it a good or bad omen
when one lights on the large army
touring car used by Col. G. S. Bing
ham? "The colonel is consulting
books on bird lore to answer this
question.
As Colonel Bingham left his car
Friday morning and entered the
Henshaw hotel, a pigeon, snowy
white, lit on the radiator of the ma
chine. When he returned 20 min
utes later, it was sitting on top of
the windshield. The bird was so
tame that the colonel was almost
able to stroke it with his hand, and
when he drove to the U. S. Army
building, the bird accompanied him,
perched quietly on the' windshield.
"I haven't decided what kind of
an omen the bird represented," de
clared Colonel Bingham, "but till I
find out different I'm going to con
sider it a good omen."
Plainview Man Has
Watch Given Him by
The Bee 32 Years Ago
J. V. Gould of Plainview,' Neb.,
is proud of the state in which he
lives, and he is proud" of Omaha, the
metropolis of the state. He makes
frequent visits to the city and never
leaves without paying his respects
to The Bee, which he has not missed
reading for the past quarter of a
century.
Mr. Gould is carrying a gold
watch which was awarded him in a
subscription contest 32 years ago.
He had the watch with him yester
day and exhibited it to the boys in
The Bee office.
"I would not' part with it under
any conside .ation," declared the
Plainview booster. "Aside from its
value as a time-piece it means a
great deal to me from the stand
point of sentiment.'
Dealer
Seattle Times
THEMSELVES.
If Temperance
Men, Turks
Probably no man in Nebraska was more affected by the histor
ic act of the legislature of Nebraska, when it ratified the amend
ment to the constitution and, as the 36th state of the union so to do,
made the nation dry, than J. S. Hunter, Omaha.
Seized with the divine affatus, his muse broke into the the fol
lowing swan song, in which he characterized the average Nebraska
legislator as "The Modern Saint:"
. From the earliest dawn of history
And the earliest days of man,
They drank the juice of the luscious grape.
Deny this fact, who can?
The founder of our Christian faith
Considered it no crime,
For did He not, at the wedding feast,
; Produce the sparkling wine?
But if the Savior of the world
Should do the same thing here
They would fine Him to the limit
And jail Him for a year.
Our modern saint so far excells
The saint of the Bible times
That the halo around his saintly head
With added luster shines.
He claims the human race is weak,
That we are frail by nature,
And his only hope to save our souls
, 1 is thlough the legislature.
He hopes to pass more stringent laws;
On one thing he seems bent,
To drive the devil from his throne
And so have hell to rent,
i
For thirteen hundred arid years.
Where the human race was born,
, That land has never once been cursed
By old John Barley Corn;
And if it is true, as we are told.
To judge men by their works,
The greatest blessings of mankind
Should come from the temperate Turks.
--i
No Turk would dare to take a drink
Of brandy, beer or wine.
For their prophet has laid lown the law
: That to do so is a crime.
' But is that land a happy land,
A land that's free from tears?
Go read the history of the world
For the last twelve hundred year.
Simple Home
Police' Reporter Who Aspires to
Be Grcus Publicity Man
Last night at the1 glitteftng
and gorgeous home of the
bride's parents, Mr. and Mrs.
William Henry Hicks, 999 Ninth
Place. Miss Mary Gladys Hicks
and Mr. Adelbert Smithers were
united in the sensational, awe
inspiring bonds of matrimony.
The wedding service was pro
nounced in a peerless and peppy
manner by the spiritually rich
and Rt. Rev. Dr. Morton S.
Duds, rector of the exception
ally expensive and exceedingly
exclusive St. Croesus-in-the-Fields.
The bride entered upon the
massive, muscular and mar
velously moulded arm of her
father, passing through an ave
nue of the largest, longest and
latitudinest tropic palms in cap
tivity, while the air about was
heavy with the shimmering,
seething scent of precious-and
overpowering petals of spring,
ranged in racy and rollicking
array about the handsome and.
harmonious Hicks home. An or
chestra of four count them!
clever, comic and delightfully
daring musicians, supplied the
mushy and melodious music to
which the bridal party modestly
and morally marched. The
grand, gigantic and brobdigna
gian groom, accompanied by his
bald, Drave and best man, Mr.
VW Percy Smithers, awaited
them at the improvised but
otherwise faultless, altar.
-i- m "
USEFUL VS. ORNAMENTAL.
, (Bridgeport Newa-Blade.)
FOR SALE OR TRADE A thoroughbred
Orange Angora cat. Will trade for
chickens. See BUI Ackerman at 8ey
bolts. 44-2t
NOTICE.
The person who took the cigar
and box of matches from the upper
drawer of our desk Sunday is
known and he will avoid trouble
by replacing them before Monday
morning. A. STINGER.
No Book Accounts for Book.
(Bloomfleld Journal.)
Notice Announcement to the
public: All book accounts due
Book and Grohmann, are due
and payable to Mr. Grohmann.
JOHN GROHMANN.
The Reconstruction Period.
(Bloomfleld Journal.)
I hereby notify all my old
customers that I am still sell
ing the Bigler Remedies for
horses, hogs and poultry; also
Dry Dip. The reason I have
, not traveled recently was on
account of the suspicions that
attached to Americans of Ger
man ' birth. I have on hand
Poultry Compound, Hog Tonic
and Lice Killer for those who
wish immediate delivery. After
the 1st of April you will find
me at the Pjjpisil rboming
house. ' '
Thanking you for past favors,
I am.
Yours for Business,
HELMUTH BLOCK,
Bloomfield, Neb.
The Battling School Boy.
"Columbus at last landed safely
on vice versa, wrote an Umaha
school boy in an essay. Another as
sures us that "Shakespeare was a
writer of considerable ability. He
Stories
is Good For
Are Wonders
Wedding as Written by Cub
See the solemnly spectacular
meeting of the Bride and
Groom! See the" merry and
meritorious Maid of Honor!
See the four -count , them!
beauteous , beaming and bril
liant Bridesmaids? See the in
nocent, infantile, infinitesimal
Flower Girl, Miss Teenie Hicks,
in her fearless, fascinating, but
foolish act of scattering fair,
freakish and fragrant flowers in
the patli of her sister, the
Bride! See them A L L ! They
are ALL INCLUDED, all under
one roof! One invitation, re
member, admits t6 them all, in
cluding the concert after the
wedding.
The Bride was attired in a sil
very and silken something of
extreme simplicity, surmounted
by a vaporous veil, fastened to
her polished and perfumed hair .
with the bursting, emblazoning
blossoms of the prange. Else
where upon her proud but in no
sense ponderous person was a
slick, showy and scintillating
diamond and bedazzling sun
burst, the graceful gift of the
generous and godlike groom.
And remember EVERY
THING AB-SO-LUTE-LY
NEW!
After the affecting and ef
fective ceremony, a real, roaring
reception was held, fun furiously
fast taking the place of rigid
and rigorous restraint, in the
precious and palatial Hicks par
BY A. STINQBrj
lies burried nine feet deep and asked
that cursed be he that moves my
boans."
An Overlooked Apostrophe.
"The Better 'Ole" is reported to
have done a "land office business" in
Minneapolis where the honest Scan
dinavians bought tickets under the
impression that 'Ole was the name
of the hero. They were disap
pointed to find that the play bore
no relation or resemblance to the
immortal drama, "Ole Olson."
Wonder What He Means.
"Spent yesterday in K. C. and had
a full day," postcards a friend to
us from Excelsior Springs, Mo.
Tt Takes a Good Deal to Make Some
of 'Em Pay Up.
(Beaver City Tlmea-Trlbune.)
Roy Fitzgibbons of north of
Hendley, was down Monday, to
buy some seed from Alfalfa
John, but found that he had
gone up the- line. Roy also
wanted to see the dentist but he
was sick in bed. His next effort
was to consult Dr. Butler about
his boy's eyes, but the doctor
hadn't arrived yet, so Mr. Fitz
gibbons drifted around to the
T.-T. office and paid his sub-
scription and one for his father.
Not That We Care Specially.
1 By the way, what has become of
the so-called crown prince?
(Elmcreek Beacon.)
Will Keep, jr., and May Keep
were passengers to Kearney
Friday.
A CHUBBY ROADSTER.
Nine-year-old Janet Reeves is a
charming little girl, and she does
make some funny remarks. "Wei
About
Eligible Omaha Bachelors
Jk
John T. Dysart, Omaha attorney.
has married ISO women. Yet he is
a bachelor.
Here's how this paradox hap
pened: He was county judge of Nuckolls
county, Nebraska, for four years and
he joined exactly ISO couples in the
bonds of matrimony in that time.
Yet he seemed to learn no useful
lesson from the ISO noble examples.
He has not been joined in the bonds
of matrimony himself, up .to date.
"They were all successful mar
riages, too," he says. "Only one
ended in the divorce court so far as
I know."
He Came From Ohio.
John began his mundane career
in Monroe county, Ohio, back some
where around the time of the Phila
delphia centennial. Whea he was
but a year old his parents took
him and other family impedimenta
and moved to Syracuse, Neb.
, After a year's sojourn there they
moved to Nuckolls county, , near
Superior, where John grew up on
the farm. He was a barefoot boy
who herded the cows and later he
was the barefoot lad in blue over-,
lors. See the sinuous smiles
tripping thrdugh the torrents of
tears! Witness the cute, cun
ning and comedy kisses! Hear
the conglomerate and contradic
tory congratulations! Hear the
silly and simian simpers! See
the flippant and frumpish friends
of the family! Listen to 4he
glorious gurgle of the able and
absolutely alcoholic punch!
And REMEMBER ONE IN
VITATION ADMITS TO
ALL!
The bride was the radiant, en
raptured recipient of a superbly
great and indescribably glorious,
' glittering and gorgeous galaxy
of gifts, the presents being tin-,
der the shrewd, sharp and sin
gularly all-seeing eye of a pom
pous and private detective. A
supper, the most stupendous,
sensational and superlatively
complete ever served in any
land, was spread in the draped
and dainty dining room by a
-cool, keen and " calculating
caterer.
THE GRAND EXIT! At 11
o'clock, amid scenes of astound
ing and unparalleled imperti
nence, and a hellish, inhnman
hail of ancient and antiquated
shoes, mixed and mingled with
ribald rice, the young couple left
on a desperately dangerous and.
delightfully demonstrative
bridal tour. They will be gone
three1 cotont them! weeks.
11 jj VJ
went out for a ride in Buck's chubby
roadster," she said the other day,
"and there was nother lady with us.
She was a lady with osborne hair."
Make Your Own Cutie.
(Porra Journal-Leader.)
Mrs. Gtinn received a tele
gram Monday that her sou,
James, had landed at Newport
News, Va., from overseas.
NERVE!
(Ad In Greeley Cltlien.)
Bring us your hides. Doylt
and Mulchay.
RIDDLES. -What
Omaha suburb is like a
pretty girl with the toothache? Giv
it up? Why, Fairacres fair achers.
If the city council were trying to
"put something over" what nearby
city would describe the act? Council
Bluffs.
MEXICO.
(Krneaaw Progrert )
Mr. and Mrs. Earl R. Bayles
and daughter. Vera Cruze, of
Fairfield, visited Sunday with
Mrs. Bayles' parents, Mr. and
Mrs. George Churchill.
BY GOLLY-
(Kenesaw Progress)
- Henry Golle has secured the
position of timekeeper on a Bur- ;
lington extra gang out of Mc-"
Cook, with G. Johnson as his
boss. It is a good job and one '
Henry is well qualified to fill.
IMAGINE! '
We would like to see some time
how City Frosecutor Mossman
would look in some other style of
collar than the Piccadilly. And
City Commish Ure in something
other than a soft neck concealer. .
People
alls who did the chores and plowed r
and harrowed and pitched hay and '
did all the other things which are
"a la mode" on the farm.
In due time he exhausted the
fountain of wisdom at the district
school (to which he walked a dis
tance of two and a half miles every
day) and he went in to the Superior
high school, where he plucked the
flowers of knowledge for several
years.
Captures Bachelor Degree.
Then to the TTn!vritw f v.
braska, where he captured the degree
oi Bachelor of laws.
He went back home wih h; di
ploma and the citizens- of Nuckolls
COUntv rose nn in li;..
and elected him county judge right
off the bat. They didn't do it
as spontaneously as might appear
from thl WnrAinrr rs( ,
sentence. In fact there was a politi
cal fiffhr in ,iV,,VU ..
referred to h.m as "little Johnnie
Dvsart." rwranca f ....
-v. vi ma extreme
youthfulness.
Hilt Ylm urn. J J .- '
ul allu miring lng
J piiuiiucu
the
seven-score ana JU wedding
cere-
When hie irm a ...,! a
. " 3 juuSc expired
he was !frt,4 om.,t.. . . . -
i! sought the opportunities
o u.c city ana came to Omaha,
where he estahlichH tk ...
, - ....... .v. ..ww-iiuur-
ishing firm of Dysart & Dysart. '
Has Many Affiliations. ,"
He is a nipmlior r.f tt,.
-- yA executive
vuiiimuiee oi tne Chamber of Com-
mcrce ana was chairman of
membershin rnmmitt.. i--.
the
. ;v -.......iiw MSI --pi
He IS a Mnn nf hint. .1 .-
ear.
Shnner and has filled all the chairs
in York rite Masonry. He is prom
inent in the rnimrilc nf At.c...
and secretary, of the Douglas
Lotinty Bar association.
A Kf"1'?' man he is. a man who
is fond of the theater and of danc
ing, a man with black curly hair
Cir Is. a man fall r.A -t .
vl strongly-'.
knit frame, a strong man. His of-
" ,K'ris' is in tne umaha Natuwl
Bank building, seventh floor,
TT
