B B
THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE; APRIL 6, 1919.
The Omaha Bee
DAILY (MORNING) EVENING SUNDAY
FOUNDED BT ID WARD B06EWATES
VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR
TBI BEE PUBLISHING COMPANY, PROPRIETOR
MEMBERS OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
fta AssocleUd Press, X which The Bm l a member, u enhMhel
eaUUea to the dm for publleatleo. ei aU wi altpstches credited
U It M otluirlse credited In this paper. Hi tlw tb lonl
ntwt pubuahea herein. AU rights of, pubUeattoa at eat sped!
dispatches an alas marred. -
OFFICES I
Chleate Panola's Ou BuUdla Omaha ft! Bee Bldf.
N York it Fifth At. BouU Omaha ll N St.
M. 1 mil Ntw B'nk of Coauaeree, Council Bluff-14 N. Mala M.
Vaehlasten 1JU Q St. Lluooln Little But Idle.
MARCH CIRCULATION
Daily 65,293 Sunday 63,450
Arena circulation (or tha neat eabearlbed Hi
B. . BtfaBt Wrcuiatioa Manaser.
to to
Subscriber leaving tha city aheuM bar The Baa coalled
I than. AdeVeca e hanged aa aftaa M requested.
Wednesday will be i good day to sign the
peace pact
. With wheat felling around $2.50 Uncle Sam
It reasonably safe on his $2.26 guaranty.
Fair and warmer will be accepted without
demur in these parts for the next six weeks.
We are still wondering just what constitutes
an "open covenant of peace, openly arrived at."
The revolution in Budapest is taking its
natural course. Red factions are now fighting
for supremacy. -
Trotzky has ordered the end of the Russian
Baltic fleet. lie insists it go out to sea and
fight the Allies.
Here's a hope that Commissioner Ringer has
better luck with his jail plans than he did with
his revised payroll.
Can you recall the time when Rojestvensky's
"Mad dog" fleet left the Baltic to commit sui
cide in the Sea of Japan?
- Uncle Sam will have on his hands a trifle of
some 50,000,000 gallons of firewater after July
1. This ought to encourage patriotism for a
time.
Manuel Quezon says the Japs do not want
the Philippines, but he is representing the
Filipinos, and is not authorized to speak for
Japan. ;
LudendorS now admits he knew Germany
was licked in August, and he might set the date
back to 1914 without doing any damage to the
truth. .
Hasheesh is reported to have been at the
bottom of the Egyptian uprising. We thought
that stuff put folks to sleep and caused beautiful
dreams.
Dame Nature did her prettiest to help out on
"Dress Up" week, and now it is up to man to
show appreciation by making good on "Clean
Up" week. " '
Nebraska faces one serious crop shortage,
that,of ice. On this account, there will not be
so many cocktails or froien punches served
i next summer.
Victory loan plans are maturing to the end
that the drive will be vigorously pushed in this
vicinity. Omaha did its bit on all other occa
sions, and will not fail on this.
The Rainbow division, all packed up and
ready to start for home, has given a new mean
ing to the old-time Black Watch tune for the
pipes "Dinna ye ken the Forty-twa?"
A California judge has just decided the war
is not over, thereby joining the Issue with the
Kentucky judge who held that it ended on No
vember 11. Yet some folks insist that law is an
exact science.
Howard Fenton pays the Nebraska Red Cross
' folks a high compliment, and one that will be
more appreciated because of its source. Still,
most becoming modesty yet permits us to say
the praise is merited.
Wyoming's oil boom has overflowed into
Nebraska, and if it will but bear a little fruit
the incursion will be welcome. A better thing,
however, is the pipe line from Casper to
Omaha. That ought to be built.
The steady stream of bluff now coming out
from Berlin might lead an unprejudiced ob
server to conclude that the Hun leaders are ap
prehensive of what may happen in Paris. Well,
they deserve anything that happens to them.
General March's explanation that the army
doctors were able to curb typhoid fever comes
as a reassurance that the conditions were not
such as might have been gathered from the sur
geon general's circular. It will be well to know
the truth about these matters, though.
The government is making extensive pur
chases of lamb, having it is said, found out that
mutton Is good feed for the army. That is all
right, but lamb never becomes mutton, and the
federal authorities above all should encourage
. the practice of allowing animals to reach ma
turity before they are sent to market.
Prices and Wages on S lilts
The recent reduction in steel prices agreed
.'upon between the leading producers and the
government appeared to be considerable and
were expected to stabilize the market for quite
a IOOK aneaa ana start a Heavy uuymg inure
ment under the leadership of government pur
- chases on railroad and other account. But these
prices at the reduction are still about double the
average for the same products before the war,
and the wages of labor engaged thereon are
also about double. ,
Presumably the government will abide by its
t, tacit agreement in the matter and proceed to
buy steel as freely as its railroad fund will per
mit. But private steel-consumers are showing
it little disposition to follow. They doubt the per
? manency of any arrangement which leaves af-
ter-war prices up 100 per cent from pre-war
i prices.
. This problem of steel is symbolic of the in
dustrial readjustment problem generally. What
should or must be done with steel is what
should or must be done with other production.
If wages are to remain up, prices and the cost
of living will remain up, or production will stop
and the means of living will stop with it. Every
body recognizes this and nobody wants to start
a reduction in wages, and least of all the gov
' ernment in its present quasi-partnership with
industry. .
It is a situation which settles nothing, and
upon such a basis industry will not be likely to
venture either boldly or broadly. Ntw York
Wr- '
JUSTICE TO FRANCE AND BELGIUM.
King Albert of Belgium makes a plea for
his country that can well be extended to include
France. If either nation is to be saved from
bankruptcy, it will be through the immediate
adjustment of peace terms on such conditions
as will aid in restoring the devastated industry
and commerce of the nations on which the
heaviest blows from the Hun war machine fell.
These facts have been apparent to the world
for months; it has been known that Germany
deliberately destroyed factories, warehouses,
mines, mills, farms and orchards, that produc
tion could not be resumed for years if ever by
the people who fell victims to the rapacity of
the Potsdam plotters. Yet for five months the
making of peace has loitered, while all the world
has held the ear of the council with ample hear
ings for every sort of vagarious enterprise or
undertaking.
Germany alone has gained through this.
Abject, cowering, willing to accept any sort of
terms short of annihilation in November, the
Hun has continually gathered courage and,
craftily at first, but now boldly asserts that
terms considered too harsh will not be accepted.
Efforts to compound and compromise, to scale
down claims and evade responsibility are made
on behalf of Germany, and listened to, more's
the pity, by the delegates whose first duty
should be to see that justice is done the victims.
German towns are stored with machinery
torn from Belgian and French factories; Ger
man business is being carried on with gold
stolen from Belgian banks; not an industrial or
commercial enterprise exists in Germany but
has had its full share of the loot, and not one
but lodka forward to gaining something through
concessions to be had from the Peace confer
ence. Meantime, France and Belgium, whose peo
ple suffered all the horrors, indignities and out
rage possible to the most diabolically cruel war
the world ever knew, are compelled to beg for
justice. The spectacle is a remarkably dis
couraging one.
What Kind of an Army Did We Have?
When America went into war in April, two
years ago, everybody but the secretary of war
knew how badly off we were so far as fighting
machinery went. We had the men, the will and
the money, but we had nothing else. Organiza
tion, training, arms, ammunition, transportation,
everything that goes to make up an effective
army was lacking. Good will and firm intent
count for something, though, and we set about
the tremendous task of improvising a fighting
machine that would go alongside the greatest
that man had ever devised. " How did we suc
ceed? Marshal Foch, Marshal Haig, General Persh
ing, all the acknowledged military authorities,
agree in praising the American soldier, for his
intrepedity, skill, daring, initiative, industry and
zeal, and laud him as r. fighter of the finest type.
He broke the Hindenburg line where it was
deemed impregnable; he made frontal attacks
on machine guns and captured them; he wrote a
trail of glory from his first step on the battle
line till he had cleaned out Argonne Wood and
rested only when the Hun laid down.
Ministers of the gospel, all sorts of social
workers, newspaper correspondents and others
who came into intimate contact with our army
at home and abroad have agreed as to its
morals and its behavior. It was a great gath
ering of boys, full of all the tides of life, run
ning over with fun, grumbling, grouching, sky
larking, but never a vicious or debauched army.
And in all this Americans have had great pride.
Now comes the surgeon general's department
to tell us that our army was not healthy; that
precautions against disease were neglected, and
lessons of experience forgotten. From the
judge advocate's department we get word that
awful injustice was inflicted under guise of mili
tary discipline; one of the representatives of
this branch of the service saying cruelties were
practiced on soldiers confined on prison farms.
What sort of army did we have?
Fixing the Law of the Air.
One of the attractive exercises in the way
of mental calisthenics just now is to fill the air
with flying machines, pleasure-bent, commerce
carriers, the ordinary traffickers of transporta
tion, and the representatives of mighty govern
ments. All this turns around predictions and
promises made any time since the Wright broth
ers proved that Langley was on the right track.
It has a variation that allures the deeper
thought, that of the law of the air. Centuries
of ground-crawling have served to crystallize
the rule of the road, and equally the seaways
have been plotted, with a very definite etiquette
for those who plow the main. In mining law
the rules and rights of property have been car
ried underneath the surface, and learned
treatises of adit and apex, drift and fault, with
all their collaterals, afford entertainment, in
struction, and sometimes amazement and con
fusion for those who delve In pursuit of wealth.
Now that man is determined to go aloft, a new
region is opened for the investigation of the
speculative philosophers. How high does the
right of ownership go? After what form shall
the boundary lines be traced? Is the flying
man a trespasser, a guest, or a privileged charac
ter? As a matter of fact, an ingenious individual
has outlined fifty-five of these questions to be
settled as preliminary to the general use of air
ways, and we may be sure he has merely opened
the way. Our courts are not likely to decom
pose for want of Incentive to activity, it seems.
Care of Insane Soldiers.
Secretary of War Baker quiets any commo
tion that may have been felt at Lincoln with
regard to the prospect of a number of insane
soldiers being thrust on Nebraska. It is not
only the policy but the duty of the War depart
ment to care for these men. Ample provision
has been made for the care of men who are phy
sically disabled, and it is unthinkable that the
unfortunates who have come out of the hell of
war with shattered minds should not be similarly
treated. Their service was to all the people, and
their care naturally falls on the general govern
ment. Not so many men are listed in this class
of wreckage, but enough are. They ace to be
tenderly looked after, with the best of arrange
ments for such treatment as may restore them
to usefulness. Racked nerves will be renewed
if possible, and reason restored wherever it
may be. But the cost will not fall on the state,
nor the burden of the care on the relatives.
A Chicago employer reports that army serv
ice has increased the general efficiency of the
men in his plant. It would be remarkable if this
were not so. Lessons of industry, orderly ap
plication and discipline are never wholly lost
Views and Reviews
Echoes of the Visit to Omaha
of General Leonard Wood
Gen. Leonard Wood was in fine spirit and
condition during his recent visit to Omaha.
Although he is one of the most prominently
mentioned among presidential possibilities, it
goes without saying that he kept off that par
ticular subject. He is an officer of the army
and every inch a soldier. He is earnestly de
voted to the welfare of the men who fought
out the war, as evidenced by the particular note
of sincerity and insistence in his emphasis of
our duty to see to it that the returned soldiers
are brought back to civil life and put upon the
path of self-support and usefulness without im
pairing the patriotic ideals and morale instilled
in them during their course of training and
service. General Wood went out of his way to
compliment the boys drafted from Nebraska
and sent to him at Funston as measuring up
fully to the best furnished from any part of
the country. I was elad to have him soeak so
highly of Major Shiverick, the Omaha boy who
was on his personal staff and went over with
the 89th division, making an exceptional record
on the other side, and ex-Senator Millard, who
participated in the conversation, claimed credit
for having been responsible for the appointment
of young Shiverick to his cadetship at West
roinr.
In his talk General Wood is blunt and to
the point. No fine-spun oratory or camouflage
of words. He expresses himself plainly and has
decided opinions to express. Occasionally he
is eoiftramatic. He Rave a definition of what
constitutes a stable government which I think
contains food for thought. A country has a
stable government," he said, "when capital seeks
investment mere at normal rates oi interest.
Home Health Hints
Reliable advice given in thla
column on prevention and
cure of disease. Put your ques
tion In plain language. Tour
name will not be printed.
Ask Trie Bee to Help you.
Is Gen. Leonard Wood a candidate for the
presidency? Yes, and no. .In the sense that he
nor any other man big enough to fill the job
would refuse to answer a call to serve in that
high office, he is, but hot in the sense of back'
ing an active campaign for support at least not
yet. This conclusion of mine I take it is the
same as that of Governor Henry J. Allen of
Kansas, with whom I had a delightful visit
when he was here a week ago. Oeneral Wood
stands in the same relation to Kansas as he
does to Nebraska in havinsr had charee of the
training of the larger number of the drafted men
from that state as well as from this state. There
is a very kindly feeling in Kansas, according to
Governor Allen, for General Wood, but vet no
sufficient focusing of public sentiment to put
anyone aneaa ot every one else.
Incidentally, Governor Allen remarked that
our difficulties over the enforcement of pro
hibition law so largely in the limelight, were
not seriously troubling Kansas. "That is
merely the accompaniment of new legislation,"
he declared. "We have come to take the vro-
hibition law the same as laws against other
criminal ottenses, but no longer regard it as the
only law on the statute book. We have em
bezzlement and burglary and bootlegging and
other infractions of our criminal code and will
probably continue to have them, but treat them
all merely according to their relative im
portance as attacks against the peace and good
order of the community."
I sent a message of greeting and congratula
tion to a unique semi-centennial anniversary
celebration in Philadelphia, commemorating the
completion of fifty years of the advertising
agency known as N. W. Ayer & Son, which is
probably the oldest in continuous business in
this country. I put in a claim to a small share
of credit in this achievement for having fur
nished on The Bee the initial newspaper ex
perience for the western representative of the N.
VV. Ayer & Son agency, Charles S. Young, now
in charge of its Chicago branch headquarters.
Few people outside of the newspaper and
periodical publishing industry realize the tre
mendous growth and importance of the work
of (he newspaper advertising agencies (except
of course these agents themselves), for they
have become a vital factor in the development
and production' of national advertising which is
the motive power for the nation-wide sale of
standardized goods. Look over the "copy" of
the national advertiser in any newspaper,
periodical, or magazine, and you will see the
work done by these great advertising con
cerns, and anyone who had accustomed himself
to observing this work from time to time will
have noted the wonderful improvement in ar
tistic appearance and appealing presentation.
It has been often proposed to eliminate the ad
vertising agency as a dispensable middleman,
but it has never been seriously attempted, and
it will not be so long as it contributes the val
uable services it is now performing.
, Recently in this column I reproduced the
tribute I wrote for the testimonial Henry Wat
terson edition of the Louisville Courier
Journal. Along with the other contributors I
have a handsomely engraved acknowledgement
characteristic of Marse Henry:
"Mr. Henry Watterson presents his com
pliments to those dear friends, personally
known and unknown, who have done him the
honor to send their felicitations on his seventy-ninth
birthday. He once heard an
orator answering a popular demonstration ex
claim: 'I'm appalled, truly appalled,' and
thought it exaggerative. Yet no other words
can now express his sense of obligation, leav
ing him only the power to say to each and
every one, 'I thank you.' "
Waste at Washington
i
"l regret to say that I have no set speech to
"make to you. I have declined even to select a
"subject I doubted very much whether
"I ought to come to this meeting." These are
the introductory sentences of a rambling ad
dress of about 10,000 words, delivered by D. F.
Houston, secretary of agriculture at the Trans
mississippi Readjustment congress in Omaha
recently.
The preliminary words did not seem to prom
ise much, but Mr. Houston's effort appears to
have turned out satisfactorily to himself, for he
had the speech printed at government expense,
as Circular 130 of the United States Department
of Agriculture, office of the secretary, meaning
perhaps, that it was the 130th speech which he
has delivered and circulated at the expense of
the government.
Various governmental organizations are
loading down the mails with stuff that in the
main has no practical value, and keeping the
government printing establishment busy pro
ducing tons on tons of matter that goes into
the waste basket. This speech of the secretary
of agriculture is specified merely because it is
a conspicuous and flagrant evidence that the top
men are to blame for the abuse.
Is there never to be any economizing in
Washington, in non-essentials, to diminish the
immense necessary burden of taxes that the
public and the industries of the country must
bear, as a result of the war? Kansas City Tribune.
In the Matter of Apple Jack.
The famous applejack of New Jersey has
nothing on the apple whisky of Orange county,
New York, as a specific for insomnia. New Jer
sey stands four-square for home products, but
New York took the toboggan for the dry belt.
Hence the mellow, golden product of Orange
county seems doomed and its admirers, num
bering the first families, weep wrathfully and
refuse to be comforted. For, lo and behold, the
first families and others in the secret know full
well the wonderful renovating power of the
nectar. Only the safety of distance justifies in
truding on the oainful scene
Chemical Causes of Disease.
That diseases are often brought
about through chemical ' agents
scarcely needs Illustration on account
of the frequency of such cases be
ing reported by the press, and the
familiarity of the average person
with the dangerous character !of
many chemicals, notably the poisons.
Ptomain poisoning, which comes
from eating various foods that have
undergone a peculiar decomposition;
arsenical poisoning, numerous cases
of which were reported In London,
England some years ago, in which
the arsenic was traced to the glucose
in lieer; and painter's colic, or lead
colic, a disease common In those
whose occupations bring them in
close contact with lead, are examDles
of diseases of chemical origin. Indeed,
among the causes of disease, the
chemical agents are by far the most
numerous, and the most Important,
in as much as the majority of dis
eased states are fundamentally, or
co-incidentally, of a chemical nature.
Most of the physical and mechanical
agencies, through the Injuries they
inflict on tissues, are thereby trans
formed Into chemical irritants and
the resulting reactions follow largely
as a result of the absorption of dead
and useless material. For example:
a person is severely burned, yet sur
vives three, days. He does not die
as a result of the physical atrent
fire, but from poisoning in one of two
ways: either so large a surface of the
cuticle was destroyed that the resuir
atory and excretory functions of the
skin were Interrupted, so that pois
oning followed the retention of prod
ucts which should have been thrown
off from the body, or poisoning re
sulted from absorption of the dele
terious products into which the Skin
was converted by the fire.
Animate Causes of Disease.
Animate agents comprise two
classes, parasites and infectious
agents, both of which are found
among either the animal or vegetable
kingdom. Before the dawn of bac
teriology physicans had already ap
plied the term infectious to diseases
that, symptomatically, conformed to
a certain type. Today we still retain
this application, but qualify it to the
extent by limiting the use of the
name of those diseases presenting
that symptomatology, but are due to
a living thing. Before taking up the
characteristic symptomatology of an
infectious disease, however, I would
like to say something of living things
as a cause of disease. They are the
animates causes of disease, and are
divided into two classes, parasites,
and infectious agents. The designa
tions have reference both to the
manner in which the agents live
upon the body, and the phenomena
their presence gives rise to; their
place in either animal or vegetable
kingdom is disregarded.
The mode of action of the Infec
tious agent is characteristic and
markedly different from that of the
parasite. "When it enters a living
body it aims directly at the destruc
tion of the latter. It multiplies rap
idly, tends to scatter its broods
throughout the tissues, and all the
while gives off the most powerful
poisons known. This agent is wick
edly Implacable, neither giving or
asking quarter. The battle that it
wages with the body can terminate
only by the destruction of one of
the combatants. ,
In contrast to this monster evil is
the lesser, the parasite. A parasite
is an organism that lives upon an
other organism called the host. The
parasites purpose is an easy living at
the expense of the host. .It subtly
recognizes that it is to its interest not
to inflict too great an injury. If
perchance it causes the death of the
host, it is an accident. It seldom
invades the body generally. From
this is seen the reasan for drawing
a distinction between parasites and
infectious agents, and why it is based
on their mode of action and the ef
fects they produce.
(To Be Continued.) 1
Statistics in Germany, 1914-101T
J. Schwalbe in a signed editorial in
the Deutsche med. Wochenschrift,
December 12, 1918, states that the
mortality from tuberculosis in Ger
many has increased from 15.7 to 31.7
per 10.000 inhabitants. In 300 towns
of over 15,000 inhabitants, the deaths
in 1913 from tuberculosis total 43,320
above the figure for 1913. In Berlin
the average death rate per month
among women has increased from
1.907 in October, 1915, to 3,136; the
deaths from phthisis, from 205 to
1,752.
QUAINT BITS OF LIFE.
Normally there are 350 births to
70 deaths daily in London.
The word "kaiser" is derived from
the old German "casere," from the
Latin "Caesar."
Although ridiculed as a craze it is
a scientific fact that sour milk con
duces to longevity.
The average man normally con
sumes about one ton of liquid and
solid food in a year.
Scientists say that we are never
nearer death than when we sneeze,
the act causing a momentary con
vulsion of the brain.
The Russians appear to be about
the dirtiest folk in Europe, for the
average yearly consumption of soap
for each person is only a. little more
than two pounds. i
Water is a great conductor of
sound. A bell which could be heard
four or five miles on land would, if
submerged and sounded, be heard
60 miles under the sea.
The death of little Prince John of
Wales has called to mind the fact
that John has been an unlucky name
for royalty all through English his
tory. From King John, who lost all
his treasure in the Wash, and died of
a surfeit or lampreys, tnere nas
never been a lucky John.
i t i aw
The Day We Celebrate.
Charles O. Lobeck, former repre
sentatlve In congress from the eee
ond Nebraska district, born In And
over. 111., in 1852.
Antonin Duboit, president of the
Ffencn senate, born at l'Arbresie, 75
years ago.
Justice William Renwick Rlddell
mentioned as a possible successor to
Sir Wilfrid Laurier as leader of the
liberty party in Canada, born 67
years ago.
Most. Rev. Austin Dowltngr. recent
ly installed as Roman Catholic arch
bishop of St. Paul, born in New York
City. 61 years ago.
Mai. Gen. David C, Shanks, TJ. S.
A., who directed the embarkation of
the bulk of America's fighting army
of 2,000,000 men, born at Salem. Va.,
68 years ago.
Charles L. Beach, president of
Connecticut Agricultural college,
born at Whitewater, Wis., 52 years
ago.
Rt. Rev. Joseph M. Francis. Epis
copal bishop of Indianapolis, born at
Eaglemore, y., &7 years ago.
In Omaha 80 Years Ago,
On the program of the Crelghton
Guards weekly entertainment were
Miss Mary Munchoff, Thomas F.
Lee, M. V. Gannon and J. A. Rooney.
Miss Bertha Yost has returned
from Michigan.
Cards are out for the marriage of
Miss Margaret Roeder and Mr. Gus
tave A. Kinkel, also for the marriage
of Mr. Simon Fisher of this city and
Miss Addie Blum of Iowa City.
A lease has been made for the
headquarters of the Department of
the Platte to occupy the fifth floor
of the new Bee building to begin
next June.
Architect 8idney Smith Is con
fined to his house by illness.
. HERE AND THERE.
The woman's section of the Sas
katchewan Grain Growers' associa
tion has more than 4,000 members.
One hundred trombone players
will lead the singing at the celebra
tion of the centenary of the Metho
dist Episcopal church to be held at
Columbus, O., from June 20 to July
The calendar of the Fort Washing
ton Presbyterian church, Broadway
and One Hundred and Forty-seventh
street, New York, has a paragraph
which says: "Don't sleep out loud
during the service."
There are no fruit trees to spare
in France and so the California state
commission of agriculture is ship
ping a supply of the useful ladybug
to combat an insect pest which is
ravaging the French orchards.
Roy Fletcher, of Brockton, Miss.,
Is a clerk working in a store in
Bridgewater. When his carfares
went up to 60 cents a day he bought
a bicycle, and now he makes the 16-
mile trip back and forth daily and
puts the half dollar In the bank.
For 20 years after 1883 Brooklyn
Bridge was the sole link, other than
ferries, between Long Island and the
mainland. Sixteen years have seen
the opening of four new bridges and
eight tunnel tubes, with six mora of
tha latter, In pairs, under construction,
SIGNPOSTS OF PROGRESS.
Ranch owners in South Dakota are
planning to use airplanes to trace
lost cattle and sheep.
Chiefly for roofing automobiles an
Imitation glass that resembles cellu
loid has been invented in Europe
Small rubber covered wheels have
been invented to be clamped to the
rockers of a rocking chair to convert
it into a rolling chair.
According to a government report
more than 3,500,000 acres of govern
nient land has been freed recently
of prairie dogs by poisoning the
dogs.
Today, exclusive of crude nitrate
of soda, which cornea direct from
Chile, the United States supplies
more chemicals and dyes to Japan
than all other countries combined.
English aeroplane engineers have
developed a four-cylinder rotary mo
tor to be built into a propellor with
four blades, which are metal and
utilized as exhaust expansion cham
bers. A subsea magnet invented in Ja
pan has brought up thousands of
Japanese shells fired in practice at
sea and may now be used to extract
shells scraps from European battle
fields. A recently patented wire attach
ment for lead pencils serves as a
clip to hold them in a pocket, a
finger rest to lessen ratigue ot writ
ing and as a means of holding an
eraser.
Sheet Iron is rolled so thin at the
Pittsburgh Iron Mills that 16,000
sheets are required to make a single
inch in thickness; light shines aa
readily through one of these sheets
as through ordinary tissue paper.
Efficiency experts have been
studying files and find that the life of
ane of these tools, on the average, is
25,000 strokes. To employ a file
for more than its normal period of
usefulness, it is claimed, more than
doubles the cost of the work.
A new heat Insulating material
composed of a mixture of special
clay and cork, has been discovered
by a Norwegian engineer. The clay
and cork mixture is burned, and the
result is the formation or a very
light substance that is said to be
eminently suitable for all heat in
sulating purposes.
London retail Jewelers say that
thev are sold clean out of engage
ment rings, because every soldier
back from the front seems deter
mined to get engaged, but that while
there was a rush for wedding rings
only a few months ago, few wedding
rings are required now. Engaged
couples are waiting for Easter or
for the actual signing of the peace
treaty before they "Join up."
LAUGHING GAS.
Teacher What do you know about Alad
din's lamp?
Willie Willis If he'! tha naw kid In the
back row I'm tha guy that blacked It for
him. Judge.
Mr. Crow How do you account lor your
many escapes from dogiT
Mr. Bunny I guess it'! because I've
got a rabblt'i foot. Minneapolis Tribune.
The old man la giving Bill a liberal
education."
Yei, and Bill li certainly giving the
old man an education In liberality." De
troit Tree Presa.
"Here'i fellow patents a contrivance
to keep girl! falling out of hammock!."
"More machinery for displacing men!
Pearson's Weekly.
Mrs. Wayback And how ara your new
neighbors?
Mrs. Nervine Oh, Just lovely; you can
borrow anything they have New York
Globe.
Lady Why did you take your boy away
from school?
Orocer They were ruining him. Why,
they were teaching him that IS ounces
make a pound. Minneapolis Tribune.
Willis Do you think wa ara going to
have any trouble with the demoblllza-
''"oillis I'm afraid ao. My wife thua far
has refused to give up her rolllngpln and
flat Iron. Judge.
"Say, Bill, what do you think since
we've been here on thii watch on the
Khlne?"
"I wish it was a watch that had a home
movement." Baltimore American.
"With the march of events we'll have to
revamp a lot of comic opera."
"How now?"
"Instead of tha line Here comes the
prince,' we'll have to make It 'There goes
tha prince;' " Lulsvllls Courler-Journal.
THE KNOW-IT-ALL.
But yesterday I mat a man
Whs to the lexicon was brother;
In dipping dactyls he could scan
Theocritus, or any other.
He could discourse upon earth's crust,
Or on what made the dodo famous;
Than such a dreary dry-as-dust
I'd rather ba an Ignoramus I
Ho knew by rote each church In Rome,
And he could diagnose conniptions;
H could translate a Chinese tome
Or stranne Assyrian Inscriptions.
He could dilate on surds or tracts,
Or leaends from the land of Bhamus;
Than such a facile fund of facts
I'd rather ha an ignoramus i
Cl'arly could he elucidate
Tha manners of the men ot Media;
All myths and marvels he could state
A peripatetic encyclopedia!
Ha was authority on war,
Could show how the caveman mignt
claim us:
Than such a knowledge-reservoir
I'd rather be an ignoramus!
He'd prate on Peary and the pole,
Then nimbly leap to tne equator;
He'd solved the snul and "over-soul,"
Was intimate with tha Creator)
'h. to be learned In legal lore
One hour, and Issue a mandamust
d rid the world ot one mora bora,
Then rest content, an Ignoramus!
Clinton it
r CLINTON SCOLLAM. la Life.
Center Shots
Detroit Free Press: French girls
have captured 4,000 Yanks, which is
more than the German army can say.
Washington Post: Oh, yes, the
Huns are demoralized and all that,
but you'll notice that they know how
to agree upon objections to the peace
terms.
Baltimore American: It is to be
hoped the safe manufacturers soak
the profiteers hard, as they are com
pelled to lay in additional ones in
which to store their loot.
Minneapolis Tribune: President
Ebert says Germany will never con
sent to Poland'a having Dansig. The
allies do not expect Germany to con
sent to anything. They look upon
her as an assenter, without Choice.
St Louis Globe-Democrat: A
modest and truthful man has been
found. Asked in a loud and threat
ening tone of voice which side of
the league of nations controversy he
Indorsed, he meekly replied. "I don't
know."
New York World: Fencing in a
fair defendant In court to avoid the
effect on male jurors of her "flashing
hosiery" is a protective expedient
mar may not cm so necessary wnn
members of the other sex are repre
sented in the Jury box.
Baltimore American: Germany,
making pacts with the bolahevikl
with one hand while stretching out
the other to the allies for food, Is
characteristically treacherous. And
she still thinks she can persuade ha
former enemies to trust her in th
signing of a treaty whose terms leavi
anything to her honor or to her will
Kansas City Star: It is not ou:
opinion that the practice of remov
ing heads of prosperous business in
stitutions and replacing; them wlti
favorites of the throne was origins
with Mr. Burleson or Henry VIII.
New York World: News trot
Mexico to the effect that preslden
Carranza's forces have at last pacl
fled the state of Morelos. in whic!
Zapata, the bandit, has been oper
atlng for ten years, would be mor
convincing if there were any aocoun
of the capture of Zapata. The bei
recipe for cooking a hare remains a
it was in the first place: First catol
Zapata.
W&V lixborotloV
have left
ui and wa faoe tha problem of conducting
tha last sad service Dei ore wa rem"i"e
them antirely tht undertaker who hai
charge of this occasion must possess tac
discretion, honesty and ability. Upon uc
an occasion let us serve you.
N. P. SWANSON
Funaral Parlor fEUblish.d 1888
17th and Cuming St a. Douglas 106
A Bank Account Is a
Business Asset
Have you observed that when a man is apply
ing for a position, is making new business connec
tions or is handling a business deal in another com
munity, how often he is asked for a bank reference?
A bank account has many advantages. The
counsel of the bank is available to its customers.
The experience gained in handling one's finances,
whether on a large or small scale, develops caution
and good business judgment.
The acquaintance with the officers of your
bank and their knowledge of your good record
which you have the opportunity of building, makes
possible many times the establishment of profitable
and permanent business connections.
We cordially invite you to avail yourself of
THE SERVICE OF THE FIRST in your banking
transactions and build for yourself an asset that
will be of value to you in all of your business rela
tions. You will be accorded courtesy, service and co
operation. You have the advantage of the most
convenient location and you are assured of a wel
come whenever you call. Come in and talk the
matter over.
list National
Bank of Omaha
T
J
An upright piano
couldn't do
LN A PALACE only the grand" would fit into the nlmite th
upright look stiff and commonplace. In your home, the grand
will make a remarkable change in the loveliness of your living room.
This new instrument of the thousand wonders, give you the itv
comparable virtues of the grand, without taking up one inch more
of your floor space.
ICH-BACH
(Srandettc
S9 Inch few ONLY.
&arcrfe am rmM lAao a gotd atrtgli.
It bears a name that brings honor to any home a name high m the
art annals of musical merchandise, and the Ortndeete assures you
the same satisfaction as any Krankh & Back Grand, because it is
guaranteed that way.
Everything in Music.
ospe (Co.
1513 Douglas Street.
The Art and Music and VictroU Store.