The Omaha Sunday
OMAHA, SUNDAY MORNING, MARCH 9, 1919.
San Marino's Army of 120
Valorous But Unrequired
Barber Diplomatic Representative of Smallest Republic
in World Assures American Correspondent That,
He Will Support Wilson's 14 Points.
Bee,
INSTIGATED BY DOME -U
FUMIGATED BY POWELL
Rosemont! roeticname! SoundhQ
much better than pest-house doesn't
it? Rosemont as a health resort
has other varieties hacked off the
map. Just think of it room and
board free. Can you beat it in these
days of the high cost of living? Two
weeks' vacation in the country, all
at the city's expense. Situated one
half mile from a grove of trees out
on the Center street road, Rosemont
obtahis a glimpse of Omaha in the
distance through a hazy, opales
cent atmosphere tinted as only na
ture knows how. This dissertation
will fight shy of condemnatory or
laudatory effusions and treat strictly
, mm me aesineuc.
One has a tcrtain amount of
delicacy in approaching the subject.
Under certain conditions one must
ofttimes think first of mate and off
spring than of one's own con
venience and under these Sam; afore
mentioned conditions the city will
i you to Rosemont in the city's
1 fine, yclept The Coop, for the
s . insignificant sum of $3.50 if
. thi - can get it. At Rosemont one
throws off convention and assumes
, the simple life. The peasants of the
vicinity for some reason or other
are not very neighborly and hold
themselves aloof,' but the guests at
Rosemont can be exclusive too. As
has been said before, they are more
to be pitted than censored.
,J Unique Beauty.
,. Rosemont has a unique architect
ural beauty of its own that reminds
one of the Renaissance period, it is
so different. The approach is a
roadway paved with good intentions
and little else. The foyer is of rus
tic simplicity. Passing through
the apartment de cuisine one enters
the grand salon where his creden
tials, are examined and his name en
rolled on the guest book, after which
the butler, with much pomposity es
corts you to the left wing and hum
bly allows you the privilege of pick
ing out your own apartment, which
is usually the cot the old man died
in, and the furthest from the heating
unit. Introductions follow. One
Bouquet of Live, Human Interest
When They Wooed and Won
By EDWARD BLACK
J. Dean Ringer, superintendent of
Omaha's police department, met his
"best girl," while attending the Lin
coln High school. He attended this
school four years with her and then
they attended the state university
together. They were in the same
graduating class of the high school.
She vas graduated from the conser
vatory of music of the university in
ivuj, ana ne was graduated from the
law department of that institution
in 1905.
On the fifth day following his
graduation from the university he
journeyed to South Omaha, where
he established himself preparatory
to taking charge of the police de
partment in the consolidated city.
Uut that is wandering far afield
from the thought of how and when
he wooed and won.
Engaged Four Years.
He had been engaged four years
to the girl of his school days, before
he decided one day to declare him
self. He took her out skating, and
cm the way to his home he asked
if he might stop at her home to
warm his feet He didn't want to
warm his feet particularly. He had
another idea in his mind. He wanted
to speak to her father, and he did
jjpeak to her father.
"Oh, I was rather mattter-of-fact
about- it" he related reminiscenily.
"I announced that I wished to speak
to her father, and, of course, that in
cluded her mother. We all sat
around the fireplace, and when I
thought the psychological moment
J:ad come, I just remarked that we
had decided to be married. I led
up to the subject by referring to a
lot of other things which we law
yers would say are 'immaterial, in
competent and irrelevant' I had
teen something of a debater at the
tmiversity, but I nearly had stage
friaht on this occasion.
"I began to regain consciousness
y.hen her father reassured me by
stating that he had no .objections;
jthnt he had been expecting some
thing of that kind for some time.
"A Long, Hard Winter."
"And then I couldn't think of any
thing else to say until I mentioned
that it had been a hard, long win
ter, and I hoped that we would
lave an early spring. Finally the
f. e was broken and I began to feel
! ke a member- of the family."
Mr. and Mrs. Kinger were reared
h Lincoln. They began married life
i getter in South Omaha. While at
;h 1 and university Mr. Ringer
'"i?ed kcr music, and she was ira-
SYfl (OMAHA'S HEALTH-RESORT; S ustaJ '
p y
J w . M WmJ LIL-' C V-Sn k J-J
The'jzfufpzrfiQe
meets a hand-picked assemblage
Speck, Freckles, Spot, The Chef,
Kid and Heap-Big-Chief-Never
Wash. There are no union men.
They are what on? calls a non
union man (example of ultra-aes-thcticism).
Initiation into the
mysteries of the brotherhood follow,
the location of the coal bin, pump
and community drinking cup and
tooth brush are ascertained The
ritual and password is learned. One
is a member of Rosemont Lodge
No. 1.
Madam and Pets. ,
The permanent members of Rose
mont are the Madam, the Doc, the
parrot, Woody the "Scotch collie,"
two cats and divers rats. Madam
is the nemesis of those ambitious to
depart. To get on the good side of
the Madam one must approach the
tri-daily repast with an exclamation
of surprise and say "Why I We're
going to have .potatoes 1" If this is
repeated every meal it insures an
early scrutiny, of your case and the
10 days minimum is a cinch. The
Doc is a smart old codger. You
can tell he is a doctor 'cause there
is a ceitif'cate signed by Gov. Hol
comb on the wall. The Doc's pro
fession has sort o" gone to seed and
he is now a Mohammedan and chief
chore-boy. This ex-partner of Dr.
Allison can tell you many a tale.
He is a great stickler when it comes
to dress and is the original little
early riser.
Weekly Dance Exclusive.
Rosemonters have a weekly sport
called a rodent round-up. In the
mellow glow of a coal oil lamp at
2:15 a. m., the sport begins, and
when the rosy dawn benamels all
the sky the steeple chase dies down
and with sighs of weary content
M. le Rodent is incinerated and
pressed by his prowess on the foot
ball and base ball fields, as well as
by his declamatory ability.
Going out skating with your best
girl, and then returning to her home
to break the ice. is a neat situation,
according to J. Dean.
Has Lived in Bover
ALL Hi Life, But
Not All HIS Life
When Edward H. Kranz, vice
president of a local lumber and coal
concern, ventured on a three, days'
sojourn to an arid Iowa hamlet
known in Harrison county as Bover.
he became lonesome as urban folks
do when they see nothing but un-
pavea Dy-ways and granaries.
While parading the one street look
ing for a partner with whom he
might engage in a peaceful contest
of ouija guessing or lotto, he hap
pened upon a rustic, chewing Grang
er and false molars. Ed simply had
to talk.
"Do ya live here?" he asked.
"Yep, don't do nothin' else," was
the retort
"Have ya lived here all your life?"
"Waal, not yet," guffawed the
rube.
Ed vamoosed for a train before
he would ta.rt a aigtjmeat 1 j , ,
'
aWattQ.JaW.ra, .ley. c.MiWaweeV-.-ri
- . ( r vmmiffM j
, rPijrn5 0"ee rnbrtf. About
once a week the Madam gives a
dance, a very exclusive affair, and
to tne dulcet tune of Itchy-koo they
dance the pox trot to repletion. A
merry 'life 1 Nothing to do till to
morrow. Another favorite pastime
is counting freckles or betting on
whether the postman will have an
other fit of indisposition.
As a farewell treat one is given
an immersion extraordinaire. Withiu
FWmbl;
- The City Hall.
Tover op each rough and aneeie,
for, It jou don't, you'll spread dUeaae,
, Dr. Manning.
Ilrunh your teeth every day
JiniNhinir will keep the ircrma away.
Mlsa Townsend, superintendent of school
nurses.
Save the Julre;
Save the juice; ,
Turn off the.UghU
When not In use.
City Commissioner Zimman.
REEL AND REAL.
Who'd ever believe that his real
wife would have to get a divorce
from him? We refer to Douglas
Fairbunks, the lad who's always
rescuin ladies in the movies and
climbin' clifts, leapin' chasms an'
hoppin' on ponies at full gallop an'
foilin' the villains an' is never out
of humor like some of the rest of
us an' always smilin' like a bolshe
vist on the way to a massacre. Oh.
gosh, these actors 1
ADVICE.
No, Gus, you are mistaken. No
bootleggers' permits are issued by
the chief df police.
Charles "Daredevil"
Wilson Will Give an
Exhibition in Omaha
Charles "Daredevil" Wilson, not
ed the world over for his circus
stunt, the "leap for life" from an 80-
foot elevation, and an Omaha boy,
has arrived ill the city to give an
exhibition of his act which has made
him famous while traveling with the
Uarnum & isailey circus.
Wilson's leap will be featured
from one of the local skyscrapers
during the fifth Liberty loan drive.
He also has been booked for one of
the 'opening attractions at Krug
park this season. Until the weather
opens up Wilson will be employed
as manager of a cigar store on
Sixteenth street. ,
The act consists' of a dive of from
75 -to , 102 feet, striking with his
chest on a board placed at a 45
degree angle, skidding onto a can
vas runway and lighting on his feet
on the ground.
Prisoners Wait While
Tempo Muny Judge and
Ex-Rival Talk Politics
R. W. Patrick was a municipal
judge candidate at the November
election. Perry Wheeler was also a
candidate for the same office. For
almost two weeks after the election,
Mr. Patrick conceded the office to
his rival. Mr. Wheeler also was will
ing to admit that he was elected.
When the smoke cleared away, how
ever, Mr. Patrick was in the lead,
much to (he surprise of both.
' Several days ago Mr. Patrick
took Police Judge Fitzgerald's place
at the South Side police court. As
prosecuting attorney, Mr. Wheeler
was also present. The two gentle
men had never met.
"My name's Wheeler," announced
the prosecuting attorney extending
his hand.
"Seems to me I've heard the name
before," murmured the judge, shak
ing hands. "My name's Patrick." ,
A lively but friendly discussion of
the fickle election ensued, while pris
oners and "coppers"' waited expect
antly. "Well, I was Muny judge for a
couple of days, anyway," sighed Mr.
Wheeler.
"It's a wonder you're not Muny
judge "yet," was Mr. Patrick's re
joinder, as -he turned lo the wait
ing orisono " i
"
1 '
a circle of admiring, envious com-Q
panions one tries, with the aid of a
shoehorn, to squeeze into the laving
receptacle and goes through the mo
tions of taking a bath. Your ward
robe is then, returned, sweet scented
like a defunct cabbage patch, and
10 minutes later a cloud of dust on
the horizon is seen as the departing
guest beats it back to pancakes and
civilization. It's a gay life if you
don't weaken.
Maybe It "Ate Up the Miles."
(I, tsco Tribune.)
The eastward passenger train
took supper at this place Friday
night for the first time. This
is the logical place for both
trains to take 'their meals, as
they are due here at meal hours,
also because this place has the
facilities to give good and quick
service, both eating places be--ing
close to the track and in di
rect line. We hope this proves
to be a permanent practice.
CALLAGAIN.
You are quite right, Pansy. Con
ducting the .Bumble Bee is a de
lightful occupation. We can think
of nothing more charming unless it
would be managing a waffle parlor.
An Unfortunate Sheriff.
(Omaha Outja News.)
A. J. Gereke, deputy sheriff of
Cheyenne, Wyo., was in Omaha
today in custody of Raymond
Hall, negro, wanted in Chty
enne for a murder committed
October 13, 1911.
Fine Arts Society
Had Bad Luck With the
Speakers It Engaged
Mrs. Louis C Nash, chairman of
the program committee of the Oma
ha Society of Fine Arts, is troubled.
She doesn't know whether the
fine arts society stands in the way
of the peace conference or vice versa
or whether the program commit
tee is a Jonah or whether it was
too ambitious in its choice of lec
turers or what's what.
Four international speakers en
gaged by Mrs. Nash at the outset
of the lecture season were forced to
call off their lecture dates to return
overseas.
' One of them was Stephane Lau
zanne, editor of Le Matin, who was
needed in Paris during the peace
conference. Countess Laura Tur
czynowicz had to go back to Poland
to help feed the starving Poles and
so with two others of the speakers
she had engaged.
But the last straw that caused
Mrs. Nash to rise up and voice no
mild concern was when she read in
news dispatch the story that one of
her lecturers with a long and in
volved Russian name had starved to
death in Russia. So he, too, is added
to the list of would-have-been-but-won'ts
who were to address the fine
arts society.
Johnny is Not So Crazy
About Khaki After All
Before and after our Johnny
comes marching home from camp I
. Khaki-clad and bearing himself
with military precision, Johnny is
home with his discharge papers.
How like a triumphal march is his
progress down Farnam street!
Hcnd-shakes and admiring glances
and hearty "Welcomes Homes"
gladden him on his way.
Next morning Johnny casts wist
ful glances at the spiffy, pinchback
suit in which he invested just be
fore he "went to war." The long
ing to get out of the everlasting
khaki gets 'the better- of him and he
dons it.
And starts down Farnam street
as of old.
No admiring glances, no hand
shakes, no welcome the glamor of
the uniform is all gone.
And nine cases out of 10, he has
to reset the buttons of his coat. It
won't come together in the front
not after he has gained some 20
Boundsl i
... ' 4
mzzwqs
This Sounds Like a Fake.
An unusual sight was observed by
many people on Farnam street the
other day and is vouched for by a
number of reliable witnesses. They
saw a well-dressed youn woman
wearing cotton hosel
We Insist on Style.
. And now the clothing ads tell us
that "the waist seam in men's coats
will be the thing this spring," and
so we have to throw away all our
suits and get some new ones with
waist seams.
knicke"rbockers.
If Looie Bostwick, the photog
rapher, would just get some silver
buckles to go on the shoes he wears
with his short pants suit he'd look
like George Washington.
LOVINGIANN.
Miss Minnie Loving-and William
J. Mann were married in Omaha
last week. Minnie is no longer
"Loving," but she will always con
tinue loving Mann.
Lad Figures it Must
Take Smart Person to
Solve His 'Rithmetic
Mitchell Emerson, young son of
Dr. Charles J. Emerson, likes most
of his school work, but he doesn t
like the beginner's problems in addi
tion. Recently his 'rithmetic has
been worrying him.
One night not long since after
Mitchell had gone to bed his grand
mother, passing his room, asked the
lad if he had said his prayers. "Yes,
grandma," replied- Mitchell; but
something told the old lady that the
youthful scion of the Emerson fam
ily was spoofing" her.
"Are you sure, Mitchell?" inter
rogated grandma. "Because if you
don't, God will know."
"He must be a pretty smart man,
isn't he granda?" Mitchell.
"Why, Mitchell, you musn't say
things like that," corrected grand
ma. But to make such things clear to
the youthful mind, grandma said:
"Yes, Mitchell, God knows every
thing." "Wonder if he can do the kind of
'rithmetic my teacher gives me?"
was the next question.
Grandma fled.
CAN BESS RESIST?
I read The Bee last Sunday
And scanned it's pages thru, '
When to my startled gaze appeared
Aly name in print tis truel
"Oh I Bess I love your hair
brown,
Your eyes so dark and clear;
I love you best in all the town,
I'd love to call you 'dear!'"
so
Ohl truly seems 'twere meant
for
me
With hair and eyes of brown,
How good 'twould seem to know
That you were loved "the best in
town."
But what is puzzling most to me
Is how he'd think I'd guess,
For there are many girls I know
Who're likewise nicknamed
"Bess."
There's Bessie S and Bessie D,
Bessie Mc and Bessie B,'
And Bessie F and Bessie C,
And then you know there's "me."
Of course I read the column,
But I am worried quite
To know just how I'm 'sposed to
know
, If I'm the "Bess" that's right
Oh, what a very tactless way
Dan Cupid has of doing;
Perhaps I'm not at all the "Bess"
The poor Bee tnan is wooing.
A "BESS,"
BOOTLEG MARKET
Omsha, March I, 1919.
Aggressive apeculatlve buying, due to
reports that national prohibition may
cause a material advance In the price of
bootleg booze, led to a decided advance
In the market here today. The close waa
unsettled, with prices from 75 centa to
fl.25 above those of a week ago.
Frozen roads, after the protracted
thawing period, resulted In extra large
receipts of Missouri product. The new
fleet of large, high-speed feutomoblles put
Into service from Minnesota points began
delivering this week and receipts from
Minnesota were twice as large aa hereto
fore. A sensational rise In sepclally-stored
stock also unsettled the market.
Total receipts for the week were:
Qts. Pts.
Prom St. Joseph J22.8SS 75,07a
From Minnesota 29,736 15,567
Frlm Chicago 12,736 19,6?0
Other places 61,729 52.196
Totals 227,053
Taken by police 61
182.745
133
Totals 227,003 182,613
Local Quotations follow:
A-l St. Joseph, $5.0086.50 qt.; 32.760
3.00 pt. Specially stored prior to May 1,
1917. 36.006.75 qt.; 3.263.60 pt. Spe
cially stored (second), J5.25&6.76 qt.;
3.7iff3.00 pt. Bootleg Special, $4.75
6.00 qt.; 12.603.25 pt. Forty Rod, (450
(6 5.00 qt; 12. 6062. 75 pt. Chain Light
ning, $4.504.75 qt.; 12.5002.76 pt.
Make Your Own "Cutie."
A Mann and a Gillett struggled
together in congress last week.
Stories
Old Town Whistle of
Tekamah Now Playing
Star Spangled Banner
Ralph Conkling, well known in
Omaha, is the siren magician or
wonder-worker of Tekamah, Neb.
By manipulating the works of the
village fire whistle he transformed
it from an ear-splitting, shudder
producing instrument of torture to
a musical vehicle for patriotic tunes.
When the siren blew for peace
day it made the cold chills run up
and down some people's backs and
they wished that all that energy
might be changed into something
that didn't give them irrawaddy
chills. When Conkling could stand
it no longer he beat it down to the
fire house, used his brain a little
and in half an hour the whole coun
tryside was hearing the "Star Span
gled Banner" coming out of thin air.
Residents sheepishly looked at each
other to see if the other fellow was
"hearing things," too. It seemed he
was. Then someone had a happy
thought and called up the country
information bureau, "Central," and
asked her if she was hearing "Amer
ica" just then. She said "she sure
was." Then the town marshal went
out to see what had gotten into the
siren. Here he found the erstwhile
music teacher of the town with a
seraphic smile on his streaming face
puffing and panting, pulling the lev
er back and torth on tne Doxology.
Conkling told about it at Wednes
day evening's meeting of the War
Camp Cummnity service song lead
ers' school. Wayne, Neb., heard of
Conkling's musical siren and want
ed to follow suit, so before coming
to Omaha he had at "interview"
with this village siren and talked it
into the "do-re-me" system. Hence
forth it will not belong to the mon
grel crew of sirens.
A Hopeless Case
At one of the theological semi
naries they tell of an absent-minded
professor who, while studying one
evening, had need of a bookmark,
and for the purpose employed a
pair of his wife's scissors that
chanced to be at hand.
Shortly after his wife wanted the
scissors, but a diligent search on
her part and his own failed to dis
close them.
The next day the professor ap
peared before his class and opened
his book. There lay the lost scis
sors. He picked them up and with
a triumphant smile, held them aloft,
crying out:
"Here they are, dearie." Harper'
Magazi ; ' t
By ROBERT WELLES RITCHIE,
Universal Service Staff Correspondent.
Paris, March 8. Take it oh the
word of Luigi Farchesi, there will
be no just and enduring peace tha
does not first have the unqualified
sanction of the free and independen
republic of San Marino. Luigi
knows, because Luigi is or thinks
he is, which amounts almost to the
same thing diplomatic representa
tive of San Marino in Paris.
He is also a barber..
While Luigi was shaving me this
morning and before he had come to
the point of drenching me with 14
kinds of perfumes, he discussed the
weighty questions of world peace
the league of nations, freedom of
the seas, indemnities and the rights
of small nations all from the ban
Marino point of view. I did not
have the heart to ask him where and
what San Marino is. After I had
broken away from his chair and
washed my face all over again I
looked on a, map and after diligent
search discovered the republic which
Luigi has' the honor to represent
It's down around Italy somewhere;
I cannot be more specific because a
large "O" on the map almost blotted
out the sovereign realm ot ban
Marino and the "O" did not belong
to San Marino at that.
"We, as one of the allies, will have
a seat at the council table which is
to decide the peace of the world
said Luigi as he put a velvet edge
on the razor. It is our right.
"Indubitably," I murmured
through the lather.
Diplomatic Representative.
"Undoubtedly I, as diplomatic
representative of my country, will
be its ambassador at the peace con
ference," said the plenipotentiary,
with an air of carefully suppressed
pride.
"Charming," was the only com
ment I could make with propriety.
Luigi took the initial down stroke
with the hand of a Disraeli.
"I shall support each and every
one of your M. Wilson's 14 points,"
the Machiavelli of Marino continued
judiciously. "Though, of course, I
anticipate there will be grave
divergence of opinion on the subject
of the freedom of the seas. Eng
land, for example"
"And the navy of San Marino?" I
interjected, wishing to show Mat I
was well posted on all this European
diplomatic stuff. Luigi's razor al
most slipped.
Mais non, m sieur. ban Ma
rino has no navy. It is an inland
republic.
Quite so: oardon. I was con
fusing your country with Switzer
land fo,r the moment. Purely a
slip of the tongue."
And Swiss Navy Too.
"As to the1 Swiss, I cannot speak
of their attitude on the freedom
of the seas." the diplomatic barber
continued, quite mollified.- "But as
a reward of my country's arraying
itself on the side of the allies tlie
side of right and justice, m'sieur,
against brutality and greed there
should be something; how shall I
About
Eligible Omaha Bachelors
"Charlie" Lane is a mighty jolly
man, even if he is a bachelor, and
therefore ought to be lonely and un
happy. You don't have to be with
him more than five minutes to hear
half a dozen funny stories and jokes
and the number creasls in geomet
ric ratio the longer you know him.
Charles Jackson Lane is an im
portant man in the business world,
too. He is general freight agent of
the whole Union Pacific railroad
and he has various other interests
among which is the vice presidency
of the Benson & Myers Co.. real es
tate dealers. V
Charlie's greatest delight is to get
a number of his friends to a "stag"
party in his cozy, comfy bachelor
quarters in the Dunsany apartments
and there entertain them in the most
charming fashion.' He is an expert
at cooking a number of good things
to eat, particularly fish, juicy steaks
and pancakes. He has a fine col
lection of imported china and he is
a connoisseur of the finest kinds of
china.
He plays the violin, too. And af
ter he has filled the inner man with
a fine supper, prepared by his own
skilled hands, and after he has added
the sauce of good digestion in the
crtan nf n niimhpr nf fiinnv stories
anrl inlrpe all frjrt in hie own niimit-
able way, he is accustomed to take
down tne old vionn and piay tunes
9 ' tt-t '1
N av 1
A J
1 1 '
(CHARLES J. LANS
1
say it? A rectification of the bonn
daries of San Marino, let us put it."
"Beyond the shadow of a doubt."
I whispered, as Luigi renewed the
surface coating of lather compound
ed of Old Country soap and goos
grease. "Your brave army at the
Marne"
'Tardon the correction, m'sieur,
our army never was at the Marne,
though it was at all times ready
after the declaration of war to shed
its blood for the cause of liberty.
Ours is a small army, but valorous
valorous 1"
"A division?" I ventured.
"Hardly a division, m'sieur. On
a war footing our army numbers
120 men, including the general staif
and the newly added artillery arm."
"Artillery? Ah, that sounds business-like."
"You speak the truth, m'sieur, it
would be business-like if it had tha
opportunity. You see, m'sieur, King
Emmanuel of Italy gave our army
its artillery last year one magnifi
cent field piece of the very latest
Italian model. But" The ambas
sador extraordinary held a towel
poised as if caught in some sad re
flection. '
"Truth is, m'sieur. we have no op
portunity to use that artillery be
cause it shoots so far. You under
stand, m'sieur, this modern field
piece is ot a power most extra
ordinary; one cannot contrive to
shoot it without having the shell
go several miles and"
But so much the better, l tried
to encourage. The longer the
range the more" valuable"
Alas, m sieur fails to comprehend.
If we should shoot that artillery
in San Marino, tne snen wouia tail
on Italian territory and, you com
prehend, m'sieur, we would tech
nically be warring on Italy."
There was a long pause, dunr.
which time my mouth fortuitously
was smothered in a towel. When
the impediment was removed I ven
tured a suggestion:
"lust as an example, supposing
your republic should include in its
terms of peace an arrangement with
Italv for target practice witn tee
San Marino artillery"
"You take the words out of my
mouth poufl like that, m'sieur,"
said Luigi Farchesi, ambassador of
San Marino. "Assuredly, that shall
be included in San Marino's peace
protocol."
Seal Antiques.
"And what is your father! busi
ness, my little girl?" questioned the
long, lean, lanky miss at the girl's
school.
The new arrival shifted uneasily
from one foot to the other.
"Must I tell?"
"Yes: vou must give the informa
tion to the school board."
"May I whisper?"
"Yes."
"My father makes worm holes."
"Does what?" said the teacher in
astonishment.
'Xfakee worm holes. He works in
an antique ftaniture factory, and
he has to make worm holes in the
furniture." Detroit Free Press.
People
sad or glad, as the spirit may movk
him.
Charlie is a New Yorker. Ithaca
was his birthplace. But he didn't
linger long in the east. He came
west when he was only 15 years old
and selected the St. Joseph & Grand
Island railroad as a good field for
his talents. His first position was
office boy at $25 a month.
He put in his spare time learning
telegraphy and after about two
years he was made -night operator
at Hastings. His next step up the
ladder was when he went to Blue
Springs as agent for the Union Pa
cific at $60 a month. And in 1882
he came to Omaha and entered the
general freight offices of the Union
Pacific.
First he wag chief clerk and in
1891 he became traveling freight
agent. A year later he was made
division freight agent and finally at
tained the limit when he became
general freight agent
It is said, girls, on the best au
thority, that Charlie is wealthy.
Stocks, bonds, Nebraska farms and
ranches are his. And his disposi
tion! is good and he can cook and-'
play the fiddle.
Playing the fiddle is no great
fault, considering all the good quali
fications he has. Don't you agree?
Ringer's Secretary
"Beat It" When Man
With Smallpox Arrived
Harry Silverman, secretary to Po
lice Commissioner Ringer, saw a
young man waiting in Health Com
missioner Manning's office. He
went in to ask him what he wanted
and noticed that his face was marl,
ed with red sp&ts.
"I think I got the smallpox," sail
the young man.
Silverman didn't stop to make any
examination. He rushed out, clos
ed the door and called Dr. Manning.
Dr. Manning came and quickly
made the diagnosis of an advanced
case of smallpox.
The patient was sent to the pest
house and the health offices were
thoroughly fumigated.
Soma Kffmerratlons.
"Soma peopls,'' sld President C, T '
Park of tha war garden commission, "mak
N'e Year resolutions wllh all sort of
reservations and asidea
"They'ra Ilka tha ltttla boy who raoWed:
'I will not quarrel 'and flint with my
blr brother. What bar t fot a llttla
brother forT
'I will not to awlmmlnf aralnat my
parenie' wlahaa at laaat not till tha wln
ter'g and.
" 'I will Bat put plna n tha aeat of
(ear teaohera ahair, tor took ar hilliinr