mm Ar, rr aha Ormm
OMAHA, SUNDAY MORNING, FEBRUARY 23, 1919.
Hotel Crillon 'Smelled a Rat'
After It Had Died 30 Times
French Servants of The Crillon, "American Hotel of
, Occupation" Collected a Half a Franc for the Same
Defunct Rat Again and Again. '. J ,
I'LL JiAFTU RECONSTRUCT
MY MOTIVE POWER
AM y CHANCE j JfflT
Ty (71 1 Ti 'Y TV V
VsJU W fit H BY A. 8TINOBIO
In the Old Home Town.
(Hatard Correspondence) in Loup City
Timet.)
It is rumored that there will
be an attempt made topen a
pool hall here in the spring.
John Ernest, who lives east of
town, soRT his farm to C. H.
Roberts last week. We have not
learned what Mr. Ernest intends
to do but we hope he don't leave
Hazard,
Quite a number of real estate
changes, but it is hard to get
particulars.
Heard ths postmaster say the
other day that he was going to
put in a stock of books. Hope
lie does.
A number put on their winter
clothes this morning.
Our new blacksmith, Mr.
Rodccl'ff, seems to be pretty
busy. We trust he will have busi
, ncss enough to permanently lo
cate him here ana good shop is
needed and will do well finan.
ially.
No school last Monday on ac
count of the teachers getting
stuck in the snow. The kids sure
were glad.
It is getting so now that' if a
party has not had the flu he is
not considered as being in first
""rtass society.
TOO MANY.
"Twenty-five thousand of these
leaflets will be distributed to every
home in Omaha, says a news item.
Seems like a waste to put 25,000 in
every home.
Who'i Looney Now?
If Briggs was tried and found
guilty and restored to duty; and if
Danbaum was tried and found not
Bouquet of Live, Human Interest
When They Wooed and Won
"Big Jeff," the new congressman
from the Second Nebraska district,
did not play ukelele beneath the
window of his sweetheart during the
days of his courtship at the Univer
sity of Michigan. He was a star on
the gridiron and a luminary in the
debating team, but he displayed no
prowess on' the mandolin or ukelele.
If e wasn't that kind of a boy.
. Albert W. Jefferis was attending
Ann Arbor at the time the accom
panying picture was taken. About
25 years ago he was playing center
on the Ann Arbor team and during
an exciting game he was kicked in
the back. At the. place where he
boarded was' a young woman then
in the freshman class and her name
was Helen J. Malarky. She viewed
the battered form of the hero of the
foot ball team and admired his for
titude under great pain. When he
represented Ann, Arbor during the
finals of an intercollegiate debating
contest with Wisconsin she sat in a
front seat and followed every word
spoken by the man who soon will go
to the national congress from' this
district. '
And, then the days passed and the
seasons came and went, until Mr. Jef
feris was graduated, which was in
1893. The one who had commiser
ated him when he was injured and
had applauded when he debated, was
irraduated two years later, but in
the meantime the postal department
was in operation and it cost only
two cents to send a letter either
way. The then Miss Malarky went
from her graduation to Minneapolis
where she taught two years. On a
bright spring day Mr. Jefferis told
his Omaha friends that he had "im
portant legal business" in Minne
apolis. So he journeyed northward,
and proposed. . .
Did he make a. fine speech when
be pleaded his case in Minneapolis?
He avers that it. was the worst
speech hKever made, but he won
his case. The verdict was rendered
in' his favor without even arguing
the case. He can not remember
one word that he said on' the occa
sion. -
He was married at Oregon, III.,,
guilty and fired; and if Johnny Dunn
was appointed chief -of detectives
with full powers and then allowed
to do nothing, what is the distance
from the sun to the moon?.
President Visits Capital.
Washington. , D. C, Feb;. 24.
Woodrow, Wilson, president of the
United States, is a visitor in the capi
tal city. He is accompanied by Mrs.
Wilson. . '
"I find that the city has developed
greatly since I was here last" said
Mr. Wilson. "I like America and
hope to make my home here some
time."
Mr. and Mrs. Wilson will depart
for Paris early next month.
BOOTLEG MARKET
Omaha. Neb., Feb. JS.
Another break on the local booze market
wu a feature ot yesterday' trading-, due
to condition In the police department
which ought to make the receipt! ' much!
greater than In the past.
Improvement In the roada from St. Jo
seph and Minneapolis resulted In In
creased receipts. St. Joseph and Chicago
options fell off 25 to (0 cents a quart.
Receipts fof the week were:
Qt. Pta.
From St Joseph 96,904 61,846
From Minneapolis 8.(33 11.69ft
From Chicago 13,333 19,056
Other places 45.567 47,853
Total 4,336 140,544
Captured by police 83 113
Total J4.25J 140.431
Local quotations follaW:
A-l, St. Joseph', 44.50 qt.; 22.!5 pt.
Specially stored prior to May 1, 1917, 6
5.25 qt.; $2.5d2.75 pt. Specially stored
(second), $4S'4.26 qt.; $22.25 pt. Bootleg
Special, $:t.754 qt.i 32"2.25 pt. Forty
Rod, lit-5H?4 qt.; I1.752 pt. Chain Light
ning, J3.501I.75 it.; I22.2S pt
October 27, 1897, at the home of his
bride.
And he proudly recalls that he
was born on the banks of the
Brandywine, Chester county, Pa., a
few miles from the old headquarters
of George Washington. "Jefferis
Ford" is the name of a historic spot
on the Brandywine. t
Two Well Known Towls
and Ringers in the
State's
Public
Eye
1 The names of Towl and Ringer
stand forth in other organizations
beside the Omaha city council.
Commissioner Ringer's brother,
Frank I. Ringer of Lincoln is com
missioner for the Nebraska Manu
facturers' association, which met in
Omaha last week. Prominent in
the association's- affairs, in fact,
chairman of the legislative commit
tee, is C. B. Towle of Lincpln.
He is no relation to Roy. He has
an extra "e" on his name
' 1
JP' ' j i
AFTER JULY
nzztms
n
WE
TURN A DEAF EAR
TO
CRIES FOR MERCY.
C. H. Rock and J. E Stone are
not related to each other. .. ,
H. G. Shedd doesn't live in one.
Ben S. Baker has never been one;
neither has Dr. P. T. Barber; nor
Dan Butler.
' Dean Swift and J. G. Quick are
not related to each other.
They might have used C. W. Hull
during the shortage of ships.
Lee Huff never gets into one.
You might hunt all day for A. W.
Hunt. ,
George H. Payne and W. A. Glass
are scarcely acquainted.
Do you know Fred C. Hill and
Fred B. Dale?
--
PECCAVI.
The better we get to know some
people, i the less admiration we
have for ourself. ' :
The Battling Schoolboy.
From school examination papers:
"The law allowing a man one wife
is called monotony. '
"When England was placed under
an interdict the pope stopped all
births, deaths and marriages."
"Louis XIV was gelatined during
the French revolution." .-
Give Us the Grain We'll Over
come the Obstacle.
Threshing in this vicinity is
about at an end, but the next
great obstacle will be in hauling
to market the thousands of bush
els of grain produced in this vi
cinity. Hemingford Ledger.
THE "WE'ReIt" STATE
There was once a Kansan who,ad
mitted that something new and good
originated outside of Kansas. He
was confined to an insane asylum.
"Milced" in Horse Race
Game, Thinks "Dicks"
in With, the Swindlers
"What detectives are supposed to
know would . fill . Webster's una
bridged several times and some to
spare, but- they, frequently are
"stumped" when the victim of a
confidence game makes a "squawk"
Anyhow, here's what happened
to two of the city sleuths last week.
A farmer, (resh from the stock
yards, or wherever farmers do come
from, was "miked" on the old reli
able horse-racing swindle. Right af
ter the deal was perpetrated he met
the two sleuths. Somehow or other
he knew he was robbed.
"Say!" exclaimed the farmer, "I
been robbed of $1,200 on a horse
race. It was my share of the wheat
grown on two acres of -dad's farm
out near Galloway."
"Where d'ya get that stuff I" re
joined one of the detectives, "don't
pull that on us; they ain't had no
horse-races here since 'way last
summer."
And the farmer wentaway think
ing the detectives were in collusion
with the swindlers.
See Each Other for
First Time Since '82
Through Bee Picture
Pictures doimany a queer thing
and the picture of the "Wyoming
Four" in Tuesday's Bee has an 'in
teresting sequel. -
It went to the home of C W.
Neff, 1S24, Dodge street, and there
he saw the name of Jess Yoder, of
Cheyenne, Wyo.
'e phoned me next morning,"
said Mr. Yoder, "and asked 'which
are you, the big man?'" ' ,
"No," answered Mr. Yoder, 'the
man next to him. But who is this?"
And '"this" proved to be an bid
man whom Mr. Yoder's grandfather
had raised back in low a and wno
had not seen the "boy," Jess Yoder.
since 1882.
"He was down at the hotel this
morning," said Mr. Yoder, "and for
once, at least, we were elad of a
picture,
4r w
v y :
Goof ie At Last Sees Sights
. Of the Province of Omaha
After Spending a . Weary Night Flirting With the
Cooties at Hotel de Ringer, Goofie Drops Into the
Athletic Club Building. ' ,
And Goofie Cook, six-feet-six and
lanky, did sleep with the .cooties
that night, for did not the supper
less Julius take him to a bunk in the
Hotel de Ringer?; And did not
Goofie smoke the judge's flor de
rope until he did "grow exhausted
into deep sleep?, v ,
It so. happened the . following'
morning that Goofie was still bent
on seeing the byways of the prov
ince of Omaha., But Goofie was
sore of heart, for at no time since
his advent into the "Windy City did
a brass band meet him; nor did the
Chamber of Commerce offer to
Goofie a remnant of-the fatted calf;
nor did Sir John W, Gamble donate
his services to show' Goofie o'er fair
Omaha.
Hungry for Chow.
And as Goofie did grow hungry
for chow, etc., he did direct his
coursedead ahead up the via of
Douglas until he did nearly stum
ble o'er one human, small and wear
ing the raiment of the prodigal son
in all his glory. It did happen that
the human was Dr. James O'Neil,
who did say to Goofie: "Oh Goofie,
where art thou directing thy
course?" For Sit O'Neil did take
pity upon Goofie. And Goofie did
reply in accents soft and sleuthful:
"I am looking for a harbor of
Run Down by Car! Hurry! He's
Dying, Ionian
"Dying, is he?" fairly shrieked the
lady telephone operator at the Cen
tral police station to a voice at the
other end of the line..
. The. other voice -was a female
voice, too.
The tragic details of an automo
bile accident were being given to the
police.
"Yes," screamed the other voice,
"an automobile, struck him and
drove right on! Oh! Its horrible 1
' "He's all cut and bleeding; maybe
he's dead."
"Wha-what's the address?" asked
the lady police operator.
"Five hundred and twenty-six
South Twenty-first avenue," an
swered the frantic lady voice at the
other end. .
Then the lady telephone operator
began a futile attempt to reach a
doctor. Hurriedly she called a list
of numbers.'
Seek Out the Fat Man But
As to Fat Women-Look Out
Everybody Loves the Fat Man, But Give the Fat Girl
" Plenty of Room ; You Meet Her in Every Town You
' Visit on Your Journey. -
"Fat People" was ' the subject
under discussion by two eastern
delegates to the Transmississippi
Readjustment congress. They" were
men of affairs, leaders in the world
activity, prominent and influential
in their respective fields of en
deavor. Seated in one of the of
fices of. the Chapiber of Comerce
during the lunch hour, they were
enjoying their cigars, orrathe"
"smokes." One was puffing a
cigaret. The first number on the
afternoon program was scheduled
for 2 o'clock and they had minutes
to spare.
"No one loves a fat man," echoed
the one with the cigaret, who for
the past 10 years has accepted as
final the decision of the bootblack
as to his needs Hn the way of a
shine. .
His companion of the cigar was
thin. He wanted to say something
to buoy the spirit of the hetty one.
Always Good Natured.
"But did you ever observe that a
fat man always is good natured? I
have traveled around this old world
some little bit. I know what it is
to be a stranger in a strange land.
I have been so much of an alien
in the big towns that it was neces
sary to inquire of persons I did not
know the location of a street. I have
experienced the lonely feeling tu
such a depressing extent that a
short answer, or impatient reply
to my simple inquiry cut into where
it hurt. There are , times when a
fellow likes to avoid such ex
perience. "The best way to miss this most
unpleasant contact is to shy away
from 'the skinny fellow. Always
ask a fat man."
"Good boy! But how about tht
fat woman? You know we have
ita
reckon with the ladies these
days." The big man behind the
cigaret was a srood listener. He
was benevolent and wanted to heat
something nice about his fat sister.
"Easy, old man. Step softly. This
is confidential. I would not be
'quoted for the world." He flipped
friendship a place where I will not
be lonely whilst I am in the provr
ince looking at sights. The- only
sight I did see. since falling from a
freight was Everett Buckingham
signing a pledge to abstain from
near-beer. Now, I must cherish
rest. . I must seek seclusion from
feminine raiment and wiles. I must
not be troubled with awfternoon
teas and crap-shooting, for I must
meet humans who will show me
through the province. In what
haven of seclusion will I find Sir
John Latenser, Thomas Quinlan,
Ward Burgess and Thomas Flynn,
who schemes with Sir Joseph' Hay
den?" And Sir O'Neil did not think
twice.
"Oh Goofie," he did say, "pull
dead ahead; tuck in yourVunning
light, land lubber, and enter yon
Athletic club building; heave the
anchor, pull in your torpedo net and
shout, 'Ship ahoy I. I'm here."
To Athletic Club Building.
And Goofie did pace dead ahead
to yon Athletic club building and,
secluded from effeminity, he djd ut
ter words with Sir John Latenser,
Thomas Quinlan, Ward Burgess,'
Thomas Flynn and Joseph' Hayden.
Goofie's escapades in-the 'Athletic
club will follow shortly. '
Tells the Police
Nothing doing! The suspense was
terrible. ' ' ... . (
Then the patrol wagon without a
doctor was dispatched to the scene
of the accident.
A Mad Drive.-
It was a mad drive. Officer John
Coffey leaped from the wagon,
"Bedadl" he exclaimed, "the vic
tim's gone."
A search finally discovered the
mangled remains of a white Fox
terrier lying in the street. He was
dead.
And the lady, telephone operator
at the central police station wouldn't
believe the story when the patrol
wagon returned, for she had finally
reached a doctor and there he wasl
His instruments were all laid out
ready to operate and sew and stitch
and everything but lacking the
"victim." G. L. Smith, Twenty-first
avenue and Howard street, owned
the dog.
the ashes from his cigar, timidly
glanced at the entrance, crossed the
floor and closed the door.
"Cultivate the fat man," he resum
ed. "But leave the fat woman to
the power above. She will get along,
all right. If you don't believe it,
get in line with her when she is try
ing to reach the ticket window. Just
observe her on the street car. You
will find her in every city, and she is
just the same fat lady everywhere.
She is on every car, in every line
boosting to the ticket window. She
spreads her elbows and reaches at
the table,- She breathes loud in
church and leans against you in the
picture show.
"A fat man is good natured al
ways. He don't go to church and
stays away from shows. He will re
spond always with good and happy
feeling. His humor is contagious
and you are glad to have been with
him. You know he is safe. He does
not remind you constantly of catas
trophe. Fat Women Fussy.
"The fat woman is embarrassing.
She is fussy, too. When you look at
her you are afraid something is go
ing to pop. When ou sit by her
every little hitch or noise in your
vicinity is suggestive of something
Spreading. To put her out of misery
you feel like cutting the strings and
getting out of the way, or buying a
kimono for the poor thing. "
"Verliy .verily, I say unto you,
seek out the fat man. Respect the
fat woman and remain in the dis
tance." Maytlms Eclipse of Sun.
The total solar eellpss. May 29, 191 , will
tw comparabl with the eellpss of last
summer In the Ions; stretch of continental
territory eovered by the path of totality,
though not In accessibility of places along
the path. The track extends across South
America at Its widest part, and also
across equatorial Africa. The duration of
totality will be exceptionally lone (six
seconds or more). Th Carnegie Depart
ment of Terrestrial Magnetism, Washing
ton, Is planning to send two expeditions to
favorable jjolnts.
O Readjusting our pipe to another
and more suitable angle, we sort of
wake up and note that the war has
taught us several things.
Helluva lot of things need recon
struction. For instance, there are old
barns, society, politics, religion,
business, etc. In fact, if you sit
right down and concentrate, there
ain't hardly nothing that don't need
reconstruction. Look at your brains
for instance. How long is it since
you have given them some exer
cise. You ought to take them out
and dust them. 7
.. We thought that things would be
the same as they were before the
war. Huh! They make a big row
about the price of butter coming
down, but our pocketbooks don't
look any fatter than they did in
1914, and that is five years ago.
The elixir of life is drawn out of
the body politix, or will be on July
1. There is got to be some tall hust
ling to improvise a new lubricating
oil to take the place of the liquid
coin. If the weaker sex are now
supposed to be equals, it will cer
tainly conserve a lot of elbow grease
in not having to tip our hat to
them.
Talk about efficiency experts.
Isn't there an expert on efficiency
experts around the country some
where? This red tape business gets my
goat. How am I going to figure out
how much pencil has been worn out
in writing this article and how much
gray matter used. Wouldn't it con
serve paper to use both sides and
not have any margin?
In passing, I would like to recon
struct the proofreader, who has
been trying, to reconstruct my ar-i
tide for me. but I suppose this re
construction stuff is in the air..
Do you ever think they 11 cure a
fellow in trying to butt into some
body elses' business? Do you think
they'll ever cure these fool women
chasing after the styles whether they
are becoming to them or not? The
man that tries to reconstruct human
nature has got some big job.
Still our president wants to recon
struct the whole world.
Recruiting for Navy
Picks Up, Many Former
Soldiers Re-Enlist
Ensign Charles E. Maas will
take charge of the United States
navy recruiting station in this city
tomorrow, February J0. He re
lieves Ensign Fred G. Condict, who
has made a host of friends while
stationed in Omaha and who re
turns to his home in St. Louis to
resume his post as city editor of the
Globe-Democrat.
The Omaha recruiting station is
new main station and maintains
substations at the following points:
Grand Island, Neb., George A. Sunder
land, quartermaster third class, in charge.
Lincoln, Neb., Clyde C. Lovelady, chief
quartermaster. In charge.
Pierre, S. D., Frank C, Burkl, gunners
mats third class, In charge.
Sioux City, la.. Henry O. A. Marechner,
ehlef yeoman. In charge.
Sioux Falls, 8. D.. William H. Lansing,
coxswain, in charge.
Enlistments in the navy are now
for four years, and men enlisting
are usually sent to the Great Lakes
training station. Recruiting is very
brisk all over the entire United
Stories
Wants Lid on Movies;
Husbands Learn to
Choke Their Wives
All the wives in one small town
in Nebraska (name withheld by' cen
sor) are a solid phalanx in favor of a
moving picture censorship bill.
One of them wrote the reason
why to G. F. Akers of the Para
mount Film company.
"Since your last seriaj shown in
our town, where the villain chokes
his wife in the last act, there has
been an epidemic of husbands chok
ing their wives," she wrote. s-' .
"I hope your .husb'iuid took you
40 times," was the reply Akers wrote
but did not send. ,
Versatile. Harry Goldberg of the
Sun theater, argues against the cen
sorship of moving pictures, using
this- very instance as an example.
"Most of our pictures show their
husbands paying the most beautiful
attentions to their wives candy,
flowers, jewels. Then why shouldn't
the wives take their husbands to
see these pictures often and let
the lesson soak in, he suggests.
God Bless Man They
Want to Kill, Good
Sons of Erin Pray
Thomas Lynch and Jerry Howard
met on a recent day in a public thor
oughfare. The conversation veered
around to the thought that the Irish
are kindly and loving people, even
under adverse circumstances.
Illustrating his point, Howard told
the following story which Lynch re
peated at a meeting he attended dur
ing the week:
"There was a bunch of Irishmen
hid in a hedge alongside of a road,
and they had their guns with them
and their pikes and their blunderbus
ses, and they were waiting to kill
their landlord when he should pass
that way But he did not come (I
suppose some dirty informer gave
the whole scheme away) and at last
one of these laddie bucks stuck his
head out of the hedge and looked
do.vn the road. No sign nor trace of
the landlord; and says he to his
comrades, 'God bless him and save
him. ihe poor man, I hope nothing
has happened tq him ' . j
By JAY JEROME WILLIAMS.
(Universal Service Staff Correspon
dent.) Paris, Feb. 5. (By Mail) Oper
ating a one-time French hotel on
an American plan is a twenty-four-hour-a-day
affair with many tribu
lations and also many laughs. The
United States government has now
been in control of the Hotel de Cril
lon, which houses the peace commis-;
sion and its itaff, for many weeks,'
and in that period a gradual process
of "Americanization" has been
evolved.
Ithas come slowly and haltingly
and in its wake are any number of
shattered French customs, but ev
eryone seems now to be fairly well
satisfied, even to the gentlemen
whose particular missions in life are
to catch rats. Therein lies a story.
Prior to American "occupation"
the Crillon management had a sys
tem whereby all employes who could
prove successfully that they had
captured and Slain a rat within the
confines of the building would be
rewarded with half a franc. This
system was. explained in detail to
the American army officers who now
run the hotel,, and they thought it
a good one to continue. They neg
lected, however, to reckon with hu
man nature, which, when combined
with lifeless rats, proves to be a
rather ornary proposition.
.' Enter Whiskered Rat.
The first rat' captured and slain
after the American occupation
proved to be a large rodent, with
particularly long whiskers. The
French servant who proudly bore
the animal to the manager's office
was given a half franc, and the man
ager turned the rat over to a sub
ordinate. A little later in the day
another French servant showed up
and dangled a rat before the eyes
of the manager. He too, was given
a half franc. This incident, repro
duced four times the first day and
six times the second, aroused sus
picion, and" when Dr. Defunct Rat
next showed up a close examination
showed they had reproduced the
same rodent four times in
each instance, although his carcass
had attained a composite value of
about fifteen francs. The result of
the discovery, however, is that
whenever a rat is killed and his body
is produced it is cremated instantly.
The working staff of the Crillon is
"fifty-fifty" Franco-American. That
is the entire retinue of servants, em
ployed in the hotel in normal times
were retained when our government
took over the place, and their num
bers were amplified by enlisted men
of the army. Practically all of the
enljsted men, employed in and about
the hotel, are "casualties" men who
States and many discharged soldiers
are enlisting in the navy as well as
boys, who were too young to serve
in the war, but whose desire to
"join the navy" has been quickened
by the yarns spun by their friends
and whose ambition to learn a trade
while earning real money, are being
realized.
Ensign Maas, who had an inter
esting sea career and has served in
the Philippines and in many strange
and foreign lands, formerly lived in
Newark, N, J., and Mrs. Maas and
her daughter, Miss Edith Ives, will
come to Omaha as soon as Ensign
Maas secures quarters.
About
Eligible Omaha Bachelors
' W. Farnam Smith has a seven
passenger touring car in which he
likes to buzz around. But his hap
piness isn't complete unless he has
about 37 poor little kids with him.
. , You can often, see him in the
summer time driving out to the
park with a car full of poor kiddies,
white and black, shouting and laugh
ing. And out in the park there is
ice cream and lem'onde 'n' ev'ry
thing. Same as Old Man Hohenzollern.
"W" stands for William. At an
early date young Smith decided
that William wasn't a very classy
W. FARNAM SMITH,
1 - ) ' 1
t " ' X'
any
have been injured or wounded in
battle.
In one way it seems rather a se
vere punishment to take an enlisted
man who has fought at the front for
his country and make him perform
the menial duties of the ordinary
hotel lackey. But every man of
them, no matter what his thoughts
may be on the subject, performs his
duties with a smile.
The Crillon has 280 rooms, and a
capacity crowd. Each day more than
300 persons are fed in the dining
room, where meals are served as
near cost as possible, but even "cost
prices" could compare favorably
with ihe better New York hotels, un
til the management began an Investi
gation' of the subject of food. It dis
covered that the produce merchants,
aware of the fact that Americans
were in the hotel, systematically
raised their prices, and were continu
ing io raise them as each week went
by. So an American foraging expe
dition, consisting of several motor
trucks, a soldier carrying cash, and a
number of enlisted men, now leaves
the hotel at 5 o'clock every morn
ing and goes into the open market.
Much food, however, is obtained
from the American commissary at
cost, and this helps in keeping down
expenses.
Tne Americans, in their early days
as hotels managers, struck a queer
French custom, which since has per
sistently continued in effect. It'.s
the demand of the truckster, the coal
man, or any other carrier for a tip
before depositing his goods or car
go at the hotel. It wis useless to
buck-up against this aged custom,
so the drivers and the like now re
ceive" the customary tip.
Cigaret Brings Pep.
Service in the Crillon, however, is
not reckoned in centimes of francs,
but in America cigarets. One
American cigaret will produce
more pep and industry in the aver
age French manservant than a five
franc note. The reason for this is
that he cannot get tobacco that com
pares in any way with the American
brand, and he craves it at all times.
In this connection the Cigar stand
in the hotel dispenses American cig
arets, cigars and chewing gum at
cost, and for a comparison the fol
lowing can be cited: It costs exactly
$2.50 American money to buy a
package of 10 cigarets of a certain
brand, which are sold in. the Crillon
for about 19 cents.
Pei haps the queerest happening
each two weeks in the Crillon is the
appearance of the man, whose chief
claim to fame is the assertion that
he possesses a formula which means
"sudden death" to all bugs and in
serts. Under the French manige
ment the "bug man" came every twd
weeks, and as he is under contract
continues . his calls. He travels
through all the rooms and corridors,
squirting a marvelous fluid, and his
chief interest to the Americans is the
question: "If his formula is so good,
why do the bugs come back every
two weeks?" But that question will
remain unanswered, for the "bug
man" is of a far too lofty character
to allow impertinent questions to jaf
his complacent mission in life. ;
Lt. W. L. Black and Lt. C. C.
Walker are the manager and assist
ant manager, respectively, oi the
Americanized Hotel de Crillon. Be-,
fore they joined the army thev were
connected with the Vanderbilt ho
tel, New York City.. '
People
name and neither was -Smith. So
he emphasized the "Faruam" part
of it and ever since has been known
by the rotund name of W. Farnam
Smith. s '":'.
Farnam was born back in '63, and
also back in Boston, Mass. Hi fa
ther, Henry Farnam Smith, was
born in Quincy, Mass. Old, New
England stock, you see, of English
descent.
Farnam was educated in the' pub
lic schools of Quincy and finished
off at Thayer academy, Braintree,
Mass. His father died when he was
a boy and he and his mother moved
away out to Lincoln, Neb., in 188J,
where Farnam got a job with the
Burlington railway. In 1887 thev
moved to Omaha where the young
man went into the real estate and
insurance business, in which hejias
been ever since.
He has built up a big business and
accumulated a fortune. He has a
reputation as a heavy and indefatig
able worker. When he isn't working
at his own business he's doing
something in the Chamber of Com
merce or other public capacity. He
is a republican politically and an
Episcopalian religiously. He is an
active knight in the court of the
great king, Ak-Sar-Ben.
There With S. O. C.
They do say that Farnam has
been the chevalier for half a dozen
or more crops of fair debutantes in
Omaha society. Oh, yes, he's, right
there with the social chatter.
He "is clever at repartee, turns a
witty "bon mot," is subtle with
compjiments, and, in general, has
the gift of the "southern courtesy,"
though he comes from Puritanical
New England.
fie lives at the Omaha club, golfs
and dances at the Omaha Country
club, swims and gyms at the'Omaha
Athletic club, frequents the Omaha,
Chamber cf Commerce. ' '
Before the days of automobiles,
'tis said, Farnam had a swell car
riage, a sort of a coupe affair in
which he sat out in the front seat ,
and drove the horses while his
guests sat inside the glass. He was
his own chauffeur in those days and
in rainy weather it wasn't altogether
pleasant. But it was stylish.
Oh, yes, girls, and he likes the
theater very much, too. You'd get
to see all the good things that enmm
along. Thinlf it ovef
