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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 12, 1919)
G 15 THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE: JANUARY 12, 1919. i i t Si i i ( : a 1 8 : t The Omaha Bee DAILY (MORNING) EVENING SUNDAY FOUNDED BY EDWARD BOSEWATEB VICTOR RQSEWATER, EDITOR THE BEE PUBLISHING COMPANY. PROPRIETOR MEMBERS OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS Hie iaoclttcd Pkm, of which Toe Bee It number, is eiciasl'elf wUttal w tfae UH for pubUrotloa of all Devi diiratehee credited to il or Dot otharwlM crwlllwl Id this PHr. and also the hw-al publnhed eerem. All rtfhu of publication of our special diaio.U:Los are also referred. OFFICES! rMeifs People's Cu Bulldwa. Onuhs T6 Bee Bid. Now Ynr 2X rifln Am. BViutll Omh 2S18 N Bt Hi. IjOiiIo New B' of Commerce. Council Wui't 14 N. Mam St. Uxtii.jlun UU U r)L Lincoln 1.1 UH Bulldln. NOVEMBER CIRCULATION Daily 69,418 Sunday 63,095 Anrtn circulation for the monlb subscribed aod mm to to a a Baaan. circulation alaiiatar. Subscriber leaving tho city ahould have Tho Boo mailed to them.' Addroao chanced aa often as requested. Come through for the starving babies I Some legislator has a chance to win fame by reviving the flan to reforestrate the sand hills. ' A street in France has been named "Omaha," and we will wager it is a good, clean, busy thoroughfare California's senate has voted dry, and that puts the fight squarely up to the house. This will be worth watching. One of Mr. Hearst's late employes testifies that he was the most loyal of all American journalists. That ought to settle it. Strap-oil, vigorously applied, might have some curative effect on the lad who has an un controllable propensity for hurting his playmates. Henry Ford announces in the first number of his new paper that he is going to give us his secret for making money. Watch subscrip tions roll in. New York dock workers agree to abide by the War Board rule, whatever it may be. If the boat owners will just make a similar con cession the strike will be over, , Burleson wins the first round in court over his grab of the cables, but he has not yet an swered the charge from the . senate that he broke faith with congress by his action. The president of Harvard says George Washington did not "cuss" the street cars. Yes, but what would he do if he encountered the Service now afforded in the nation's capital? Walker D. Mines is a railroad man of abil ity and experience, and ought to be a success in his new job. But he will have a tough time in convincing congress that the five-year plan is a good one. 1 Mr. McAdoo is now a free agent, and will be enabled to enjoy his rest with a knowledge that he did a good job while he was at it. His successor will probably have the fun of un scrambling the eggs. ' Congress shows some disinclination to fol low Josephus Daniels on his big navy program. This caution may be prudent, and it may be the answer to the insinuation that the secretary's scheme was propaganda. Joseph Callaux, former French minister, now in prison on a charge of treason, proposes to imitate "Vic" Berger and seeks re-election to the French Parliament. France does not usually honor such "heroes." One hundred million dollars is now asked outrighr'ior reclamation projects. When that matter came up under Roosevelt one-fifth of the sum now named was looked on as extrav agance. We have made progress. Karl Liebknecht is reported to have been killed in the fighting in Berlin. If this is true, he outshines Lenine and Trotzky in one re gard, for those worthies have preserved their own precious hides whole so far. Thirty-nine billion "tailor-made" cigarets were produced in the United States last year. When you add the inconceivable number of "roll your owns" to this, you will be pardoned for wondering what has become of the crusade against the "pill." Little consolation may be extracted from the fact, but something of poetic justice may be found in the use of minnewerfers and flamen werfers on the streets of Berlin. The Heinies are getting a taste of their own medicine, ad ministered by themselves. Nebraska millers are about to meet in Omaha to discuss the situation of their indus try. Chief need of the state in this line is more capital invested in milling, so that the product of the fields will go abroad as flour and not as grain to be ground elsewhere. Perhaps you noted the fact that the Chicago man who confessed that he was a forger and sought in prison a place to repent waited until he had spent the money in comfortable living and unsuccessful stock speculation. This story, like a number of others of recent mintage, has no moral Negro Heroes of the War War has sinister markings of its own. in all sufficiency. There is no room for the color line across its horrid front. Such is the thought that suggests itself afresh, for there have been other events calling to mind the gallantry of our colored troops, to one who reads the news from Paris of 124 American negro soldiers being decorated by French authorities. "For extraordinary heroism under fire" that is, as translated, the line of commendation that goes with the medals and war crosses con ferred in this highly satisfactory instance. The words sweep aside every consideration other th;in that of soldierly merit The man who darts and does, he is the man for all this and all that. It is a matter of curious interest to note the wide geographical sources of the regiments if presented by the boys honored at Paris. These bodies of colored fighters came from Massachusetts and Ohio in the north, from Washington, D. C, from South Carolina, Mary land and Tennessee. The courage and capacity of negroes militant from New York have won recognition also on the fields of France. New York World. PEACE CONFERENCE IN SESSION. Unless some unexpected hitch prevents, the most solemn conclave ever assembled on earth will begin its session at Versailles tomorrow. It exceeds in the gravity of its duties, the possi bilities of its results, any gathering in history. Peace conferences and international councils have occurred in days gone by, but none in which it was proposed to give careful con sideration to the interests and relations of all nations, on a basil of simple justice to all and advantage to none. Americans have been informed from time to time of the aspirations of the several nations, and have been able to discern the elements of concord. If they have carefully followed the reports from Europe since Mr. Wilson went abroad, they have also noted some of the fac tors of discord. It is admitted that the delibera tions of the body will be serious, which implies that harmony may not alwayj prevail. Even with accord well established as to the principles involved, the task of unifying methods of ap plying them will not be easy. The hopeful sign is that none of the great powers, with the possible exception of Italy, is looking for anything the others are not willing to concede. If the differences between the Ital ians and the Jugo-SIaves may be peaceably composed, the prospective league of nations will have won a great victory before it has been brought into formal existence. Other great problems, vitally affecting all peoples, will be before the board for considera tion and settlement Its agreement will serve as a foundation for social and political growth everywhere, for it will give vitality to what are now -merely phrases. From it should come as surance to the weakest of nations that it will be respected iri all its rights and safely guarded against encroachment even frorn the strongest. With justice established between nations, a new era will begin for all mankind. This 'is why the peace conference about to begin is the most momentous assemblage in the record of humanity. t Republicans and the Bolshevik!. The republican national committee at its Chicago conference came out squarely against bolshevism and socialism. This is not surpris ing, nor does it mean that the party has aban doned its progressive ideas, or that it will neg lect the good of humanity in its program. It does mean that it will not, even for votes, wink at the disorderly elements of destruction now masquerading as agencies of the uplift The party that' preserved the union and freed the slaves in the United States; that directed the development of the whole land to its wonderful place in the front rank of modern nations; that by its wise legislation and prudent administra tion brought the American workman the great est of blessings afforded by prosperity, peace and good wages, may be depended upon to de fend that record and perpetuate its work. The institutions of free government are safe only when good order prevails, and to this the re publicans of the United States are irrevocably pledged. The Army of the Future. Just what form the army of the future will tSike is the subject of considerable speculative comment right now. , Even with the utmost possibilities of the peace conference realized, a league of nations formed and disarmament agreed upon, it still is plain that the great pow ers must contribute largely to an international force to be occupied with the maintenance of order. Accordingly, Americans will be ex pected to contribute proportionately to this al lied army. Failing the league of nations, self defense will require a more extensive military establishment than ever, for a few years at least. With the problem thus outlined, the answer must wait on proceedings at Versailles. In the meantime emphasis is being laid on universal military training. This has been confused in the public mind to a great extent as entailing universal service. The terms are entirely dis tinct. Champions of training have only the thought of requiring that young men be given a short, intensive course of instruction in mili tary science, the training to last not longer than six months and to be administered as the young man is entering his twentieth year. Such training will not interfere in any way with his other plans for life, but will fit him to discharge the duties of citizenship by reason of the ben efits flowing from such a course. It is contended with force, by many able men, that military training at school is not sufficient to meet the requirements. Dr. Eliot of Harvard, for example, advocates fhe adoption of the Swiss system whereunder all males are trained, and officers come up from the ranks, making the organization democratic in all ways. The point will be extensively argued before a conclusion is reached, but the public is asked to note the difference between service and training. Sam Browne Belts and Other Things. Many people have wondered why an Amer ican officer is required to wear a "Sam Browne" belt when on duty in Europe and forbidden to wear it when on duty in America. We can't divine this enigma, but presume a reason exists somewhere. Somebody in authority has emit ted the order, and it is for soldiers to obey, while civilians wonder. Some returning offi cers are reported? as being not inclined to con form to regulations, the belt in question being part of their equipment most apt to designate them as overseas soldiers at distinguished from those who did not get to go across. The spirit that prompts such feelings may be discussed by others. What we are trying to get at Is that the order having been promulgated by compe tent authority, it is for the soldier to obey, tit is no more to be excused from regulations re garding dress than from any other, and disobe dience is a crime, no matter how minute the point it involves. Many orders may seem non sense to the one who is required to obey them, but the duty of the soldier is to do what he is told to do, and without question. And this ought to include Sam Browne belts. . Congress has heard its master's voice, and will come through with the hundred million asked for relief of starving Europeans. When we look at the. wasted millions chargeable to democratic incompetency and inefficiency we marvel that the unterrified should have balked at this. Maybe it was the worthiness of the object that made them pause, Views and Reviews My First Interview With Col. Roosevelt and My Last. I have already referred to my personal ac quaintance and contact with Roosevelt begin ning with his first stop in Omaha while cam paigning in 1900 and continuing through his last visit to this city. I well remember my first real interview with him. I had been east attending the installation exercises of President Nicholas Murray Butler at Columbia university for which the president, as a graduate of Columbia also, ran over from Washington to add the presence of the nation's chief executive to the occasion. The program concluded with an alumni banquet at Sherry's, where Roosevelt responded to one of the toasts. I was tabled with Prof. Frank A. Fitz patrick, formerly superintendent of schools here, and Governor Francis of Missouri, now ambassador to Russia but then on a promotion expedition for the St. Louis World's Fair of which he was president, and between courses we went tin to flecitate Dr. Butler and greet President Roosevelt, where they sat together. I told the president I expected to spend a day or two in Washington on my way home and he said, "Come in and see me." My call at the White House was made in company with Edgar Snyder, our Washington correspondent, primarly to secure certain in formation which I thought I could get from Secretary Cortelyou without bothering the president about it. The executive offices were then in the presidential mansion proper at the head of the stairs on the second floor. Visitors were admitted to a large reception room on which the private office opened through a two way swinging door. Mr. Cortelyou was at his desk in this room and when I propounded my query, he replied: "The president is the only one who knows the answer to that question. I would have to ask him and you would probably do better to ask him yourself. He'll be out here in a few minutes." The few minutes, it transpired, were not so few. The room gradually filled with people of varying types and obviously on different mis sions. Suddenly, as if shot from a catapult, the president came through the door. One and all rose at once to their feet in irregular formation around the room. The president started or rather charged, Mr. Cortelyou at his elbow with note book and pencil, down the line greeting each as he came up with a handshake and a resounding "Dee-lighted 1" He spoke in a penetrating voice loud enough for everyone in the room to hear all he said. The first one, "How are the children? Mrs. Roosevelt wants to see you. You must come back and have lunch with us." To another, "I would like to favor you, but it is absolutely necessary that I work in har mony with the republican organization in your state. I'll take these endorsements but you can see plainly that I cannot make such an appoint ment unless you also send me letters snowing that it would be satisfactory to the party lead ers back there." To me, "Dee-lighted that you came in. I want to have a talk with you. Wait!" After a few words with each visitors he thus dismissed most of them and as suddenly as he appeared, withdrew to his private office. Again a long wait during which the recep tion room once more gradually filled till every chair -was occupied and some standing. Mr. Snyder left to look after business that needed attention, telling me as he went, "You'll have to stay now that the president has said he wants to see you." Finally, after a further slow procession of time, out came Mr. Roosevelt, at a bound as be fore, and called my name at the top of his voice at least so it seemed to me. "Just step into my office and I'll be with you in a minute." he said. I went in and discovered anew that presi dential minutes are made up of much more than sixty seconds. He returned in perhaps ten minutes and I had a pleasant quarter-of-an-hour talk with him covering a wide range of subjects from college work to political prospects. I got the answer to my question and took my depar ture with urgent invitation to come again. My last interview with Colonel Roosevelt was on the train coming in from Chicago in June. On his way to Omaha he had an attack of illness and the physician who was called in Chicago deemed it so serious that he himself boarded the train and made the trip with him. I sat opposite the colonel and chatted with him for fully an hour as he ate breakfast in his compartment. It was plain from his appearance and movements that he was not a well man. He took nothing but tea and toast, explaining that- he -was .following doctor's orders. Mrs. Roosevelt, who was traveling with him, asked particularly as to the program for his day In Omaha, whether it contemplated anything more than the address scheduled for the evening, say ing that the doctor required complete rest as a condition permitting him to carry out the speaking engagement, and other activities, if planned, would have to be abandoned. The colonel insisted he felt all right and discussed as usual the war, his speech, the political out look, and the various current topics. I felt the necessity of speaking louder than I ordinarily would, even allowing for the rattle of the cars, owing to his obvious difficulty of hearing. As we came down along the river from Missouri Valley into Council Bluffs, Mrs. Roosevelt sud denly caught a view of the flock of observation war balloons hovering over Fort Omaha. "Look at the balloons!" she exclaimed, "Aren't they a beautiful sight?" There they were, distinctly visible, reflecting in the rays of the sun, eight or ten ot them. We all straightened up and gazed eagerly through the car window, but after a moment the colonel settled back in his seat. "I can't seem them," he said simply and went on with the topic of conversation These were signs of physical infirmity mini fested more than six months ago. Of course, no one would then take them to be forerunners of speedy break-down, but I observed at the time to a number of people, that nothing would bring him back to prime condition but a com plete rest and subordinating all his interests to special care of his health. I . am reserving for this column the details of the conference I had with Colonel Roosevelt on the eve of the famous 1912 convention. I wrote out an account of this meeting at the time, but have never made it public. The Day We Celebrate. E. A. Conaway, attorney, born 18S2. Frederick Baird, attorney, born 188S. Toseph Jacques Joffre, marshal of France and commander of the French armies in the early period of the war, born in the south of France, 67 years ago. Charles E. Lauriat, noted Boston publisher and bookseller, born in Boston, 7' years ago. In Omaha 30 Years Ago. P. C. Himebaugh has sold his home on the southeast corner of Twentieth and Chicago, to George H. Boggs. The consideration was $32,000. About noon time a flock of S60 turkeys were landed in Omaha from Fremont. Four men were employed as herders. The turkeys are now corralled on Sixteenth street between Farnam and Douglas. Crop & Sterling, musical dealers, have dis posed of their business to Joseph Tighe. William Morrow, son of General Morrow, has enlisted as a private soldier with the object of taking the examination granted noncommis sioned officers for a second lieutenancy. People and Events Unless the first robin wings hither quickly, spring: millinery will cap ture the prize as a harbinger of the season. Your Uncle Bam is some laundry, and no mistake. During November last, the War department laundered 12,210,000 pieces of clothing and cleared a profit of $261,000. , "What's become of the careful residents who used to wrap their necks with woolen scarfs In winter time?" asks "Anxious , Inquirer." Quit kidding and consult a glossary of cemetery epitaphs. Philippe Bunau-Varllle, the trou badour of Panama Canal, hopped Into New York from France the oth er day. Hopped Is correct. Varilla lost a leg at Verdun while gallantly upnoldlng the motto or his home land, "They shall not pass." Slightly more than 3,000,000 1-cent pieces were added to the volume of copper coins by the mints last year. In other years that out put would serve for a decade. Now it scarcely meets the demand, so great Is public affection for the baby token. Three doughboys lined up at a bar at Coblenz. "Three beers," whispered the (spokesman. Three schooners crossed the bar. "Three marks," murmured the barmaid. "Yep, 1 know we're three marks," replied the leader, drawing his boat to the cave. "But wot's the price in francs or money?" Some day, when complete returns are in, mankind is sure of a surprise or two by the magnitude of new de velopments wrought under the pres sure of war. One may be mentioned at this time as an inkling of what's coming. British scientists have dis covered a method of preserving soap bubbles Intact for a month. John W. Ooff, a noted trial Judge of New York City, reached the retiring age of 70 years last week and stepped down from the bench. Judge Goff Is a graduate of the school of hard knocks. Starting out without kin or means, coming from Ireland at 18, he worked by day and studied at night, rising steadily by dint of application and native abil ity, to the position he relinquished after 23 years of service. A score of New York's noted criminal cases were tried before him. The farewell drive of Governor Capper of Kansas at war profiteers centered on the trenches of millers. The governor appeale.d to the Fed eral Trade commission, the United States food administration and com mittees of the legislature for assist ance in checking the profiteering of millers. Since December 17, when federal control of mill products ceased, the price of mill feeds have been boosted 36 to 83 per cent, al though a larger supply is available. Hundreds of Kansas farmers and stockmen complain of the extortion, which in many cases spells ruin. AIMED AT OMAHA. O'Neill Frontier: The photo gravure section of Sunday's Bee contained a group picture of Secre tary McAdoo, James Dahlman and other distinguished citizens, taken at the union depot. In the pcture Jim is smiling, presumably over that job, McAdoo Is laughing perhaps because of the same job. Nemaha County Herald: Gus Hyers, who is to be governor Me Kelvie'e chief booze sleuth, has an nounced that Omaha and the whole state of Nebraska shall be made bone dry Just aa soon as he gets on the job. Mebbe so. He will soon have the assistance of the war pro hibition measure which makes the whole country dry and as soon as the national amendment is ratified the whole load should be lifted from his shoulders. In the meantime Gus will have to go some if he makes his pledge good. Wayne Herald: The season of good resolutions prompted Sunday's Omaha Bee to publish suggestions from the experiences of several suc cessful Omaha business men whose resolutions were kept and bore fruit. In explanation, each one attributed his success largely to hard work. All also emphasized the importance of candor, honesty and attention to de tails. Care In making investments was pointed out. In a number of instances, Investors were kicked into habits of caution by early errors In judgment It is interesting to note that one man started to work in a bank at $30 a month after working a month for nothing, and another clerked in a store at $10 per week. On merit, all grew in business re lations and developed fortunes. Manifestly, all deemed hard work one of the big essentials. Smart ness and honesty are important, but they have to have the momentum of labor to put them over. Many peo ple figure that if they are smart and honest, the Lord will do the rest. They are invariably disappointed, because in addition to an assort ment of gray matter and exemplary integrity, one must work. HERE AND THERE Weight for weight and with prop er burners, fuel oil is supposed to give 60 per cent more steam than coal. The Epsom derby, the great English flat race which even the war has not sent into oblivion, has been renewed annually with slight inter ruption since 1870. In America the silk industry is largely centered in Paterson, N. J., where silk mills give employment to a large proportion of the entire population of the city. The year 1919 marks the semi centennial of the completion and formal opening of the Suez canal, which still ranks as one of the great est engineering projects of the world. A famous member of the Royal academy once said that there were more reputed old masters than could possibly have been painted, and hundreds of imitations are sold as genuine, many of them in well known collections. The original model of the sewing machine invented by Ellas Howe, whose centenary will be celebrated this year, is on display in the na tional museum at Washington. The machine was patented September 10, 1846. The finest rubber In the world Is Para, gathered in the Amazon regions of South America. Thia rub ber has been gathered in practically the same way for more than a cen tury, native men, women and chil dren being engaged in the work. SIGNPOSTS OF PROGRESS. The United States is responsible for more than 70 per cent of the world's supply of corn. The second largest crop of Canary Island onion seed ever shipped to the United States has just ended Its movement toward American ports. About 200 board feet la required to build the average airplane. To get this material it is necessary to work over about 1,500 feet of select lumber, Thia may represent all that can be used for airplanes In 16,000 board feet of standard timber. War needs have greatly increased tVie demand for many chemicals in this country, but of all the so-called heavy chemicals caustic soda has, perhaps, been the most in demand. Indeed, so pressing has been the need for this particular commodity In the war industries that its manu facture in the United States has more than doubled since 1914, and even so it has been necessary to place a vir tual embargo on its export In the Wake oj War Most of the beloved bells of Bel gium were taken away by the In vaders and sent to the melting pots. Now the Belginns are turning cap tured German cannon into bells, which will eventually replace the stolen property and end the war'a silence in famous belfries. It takes good money and lots of It to live in style in Paris these ditys. A hunch on that line occasionally comes from Adam Breede of Hast ings, who was there aa late as last November. From other sources come hunches that sound like screams. "Paris is today the most expensive city in the world," writes one Ameri can correspondent on the spot. "I have paid $8.60 for a table d'hote dinner of watery soup, a mouthful of boiled fish, a boiled chicken leg and an apple, with a pint of mediocre wine on the side." Many of the soldier boys are com ing homo better equipped for do mestic life than ever before. This is particularly true of the mess ba tallions. They have learned to pre pare the material and cook the chow, scrub the floors and polish cooking utensils to perfection. The girls who capture one of these culinary experts interns a world of joy and may linger long at afternoon teas without risking spats over belated Slippers. "Say, girls, isn't It a grand ami plovlous feeling?" Stars and Stripes, published by the A. E. F., says out loud that the n arines were not the whole thing at Chateau-Thierry. There were lots of American infantry in the famous battle which stopped the Huns and saved Paris. The Ninth and Twenty-third infantry were in the fight and most of the Second and Third divisions. These infantry units, with the Fifth and Sixth marines, says the official paper, "played equally important, equally gallant and equal ly difficult parts." The big head lines end the glory went to the ma rines at the time because the rules of censorship prohibited mention of infantry vnits by number. CENTER SHOTS. St. Louis Globe-Democrat: For the first time in history Uncle Sam is scared at the prospective size of next year's wheat crop. Washington Post: The Germans contemptuously refer to Jan Pader ewski as a pianist but they must dance to his music and that of the concert of nations. Minneapolis Tribune: The war cost France, Great Britain and Bel gium a total of $94,000,000,000. A man with that much money could afford to have bacon every morning for breakfast. Brooklyn Eagle: The broadness of Cardinal Gibbons' humanity is shown in his appeal for aid for the Armenians and Syrians. They are not of his church. But they are Christians oppressed by Mohamme dans, and they are hungry. That's enough for the cardinal. Kansas City Journal: George Creel announces that he has not re signed his position at the head of the committee on public informa tion, but that he intends soon to quit the work and return to the United States. Oh, well, we can't expect to have everything Just right, you know. New York World: The Uni versity of North Carolina speaks first for President Wilson to become its president after his term of office expires. No doubt there will be competitive bids. It is still possible for one man, as Garfield said of Mark Hopkins, to make a college If he is the right kind of man. Baltimore American: Prince Henry of Prussia is ready to testify that his brother, the ex-kaiser, tried to the last to avert war. Next it will appear that the sinking of the Lusl tania was done against his express orders, and that he never knew any thing about the submarine murders and the Belgian atrocities until they were brought to his attention quite by accident. Of course, they all conveniently forget how the kaiser was constantly boasting that he was it. DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES. "Ts your placo within walking distance of the cars?" "I dunno," answered Farmer Corn tossel. "How far kin you walk?" Wash ington Star. Daughter Wlllla Mamma, I am taking oratory In school. Mamma Wlllia That won't do you any good when you're married. Haven't they got a course in back talk? Life, Mrs. Houlihan Phwat a fool 01 was! 01 niver saw yea till the day before ma unforchnit marriage. Houlihan Faith, 01 wish y hadn't seen me till the day after. Kansas City Journal. Guanine Young Woman (to famous actor) Oh, do you know, Mr. Starielcb, I'm simply mad to go on the stage. Famous Actor Yes, I should think yon would be, my dear young- lady. Chicago Trltune. "What makes you so sleepy around the office?" "It's my sense of. duty, boss." "Huh?" . ' "I lie awake too much at night think ing about my work." Louisville Courier Journal. Patience Do you know anything that will help me when singing? Patrice Sure! Put cotton In your eara and then you can't hear yourself sing. Yonkers Statesman. "How splendidly you pump, 0 avenly and regularly and never seem to get tired." "Got the practice, ma'am, saluting of ficers I met in the atreet." Baltimore American. "What are you laughing about?" "Now that peace Is here I'm thinking of the poor guys who got married to escape the draft." Judge. Galileo waa reading the Evening Star when Shakespeare happened along. "Well, what's the world doing now, old top?" asked the immortal one. "Ask me something easier. Bill," re plied Galileo. "I once got Into serious trouble for volunteering that very In formation." Buffalo Express. OLD GRAY ARMY MULE. Ah hain't a-klckln', tho' Ah kin, Ah hain't a-cussln', tho' Ah'va bin, Ah'm jeet a-pleadln', 'tain t no bray In mah Mlasoury native way That Ah kind o' get in line, While thuh. "big talk" am a-gwlne, Kase Ah alio' did get mah gruel; Ah'm the "Ole Gray Ahmy Mule." To' all tuk me from mah home, Tho' Ah nevuh aimed to roam; Tuk me. Ah might say, by fo'ce, Tho' Ah'm mighty proud, o' co'ae. Now thuh flghtln' all la 4hro' Ah done stood so high with yo', But Ah sho' did find It cruel; Ah'm the "Ole Gray Ahmy Mule." I packed machine guns thro' the mlah, Stood at 'tentlon undah flah, Pulled stalled cannon from thuh clay. Hauled munlahuns all thuh day, Yanked yo' trucks fo" many a mile, Nevuh once fo'got to smile. "Spree de corps," that's mah rule, Ah'm the "Ole Gray Ahmy Mule." Shrapnel alung an' cut mah hide. Kin fall wounded by mah side; Shells played hop scotch 'round mah feet, Bomlia came rollin' down thuh street; But blesa yo', hud, care no whit, Ah'm no domed proud to done mah bit, Mfe an' death are but a duel Ah'm the "Ole Gray Ahmy Mule." Ah hain't scoldln', that'a po' "bU," Thing Ah'm tellln" aa things Is; Ah don't enpeC no Croy de Galr, Ah Jes' plugged to do mah share; But when the final reckonin'a coma Maybe yo' all will thank me some, Jes' send me home. Ah want no jewel. Ah'm the "Ole Gray Ahmy Mule." John B. Foster In New York Sua. Around the Cities Cincinnati this year Joins the Cen tenarian class. Autos killed (36 persons In New York City last year. Cleveland's firemen are giving the policy of "self determination" a try out. Falling to get the section of the authorities to an eight-hour day they Instituted it themselves. Sioux City and Woodbury county taxpayers are slated to dig up a total of $2,632,000 In state, county and city taxes this year. The cltv's share of the revenue Is $713,896.73. Minneapolis no longer points the finger of shame at St. Paul, recent ly impaled aa an awfully wicked old town by the Ramsey county grand Jury. The Hennepin county grand jury has just told Minneapolis .that they are not In the "holler-trnin-thou" class, not by a mile or. two, and that its police administration Is no good. In the "good old summer time" Chicago's smoke smudge maps the city for 20 miles beyond, bo high does it climb. In winter the smoke, swelled to huge proportions, gener ally sticks close to home and fat tens the air. This winter's output Is said to be wore than ever and the city smoke Inspector threatens to hale the smudge makers into court. Filled with the war and a desire for service, seven Harlem kids, 7 to 13 years, swiped a lot of ammuni tion from a gunshop and made a bonfire of the loot. As soon as the blaze reached the bullets shooting began and scattered the crowds in that section of Manhattan. All but the kids escaped. Police took them in. Kansas City ts to appeal the street car case to the federal supreme court and secure the judicial last word on the Inviolability of a con tract which the Missouri supreme court held the city had no right to make. The "contract" la part of the street railway company's franchise and limits street car fares to five cents. Minneapolis Americans feel quite chesty these days, having thrown off the incubus of socialist city rule and installed the real American article. The retiring mayor. Van Lear, skated on mighty thin ice for two years, but managed to cling; o the payroll by swift shifts from pr German activities to loyal procla mations. His successor Is J. E. Meyers. QUAINT BITS OF LIFE Italian scientists have perfected a highly nutritious bread that Is made from partially sprouted grain. Lovers In Japan, instead of en gagement ring, often give their fu ture brides a piece of beautiful silk, to be worn as a sash. The kissing of the hilt which forms a part of the sword salute, is a relic of the crusaders, whose sword hilts were in the form of a cross. Official reports made by some na tional banks in the Northwest to the comptroller of the currency show that many bank directors in that section cannot write their names and so use a mark. Theodore Sparkman, a miner, who fell 60 feet in a mine near Monroe, Mo., and escaped with a dislocated shoulder, kept his pipe in his mouth during the fall and was found calm ly smoking. A school of eels Invaded the intake- of the Lancaster (Pa.) water works last week, clogging up the three electrically-operated pumps for four hours. Pumps had to be taken apart and the mangled eels removed before pumping could be resumed. General Pershing recently gav orders that the typewriter signature is required hereafter on all official orders and Indorsements by Ameri can military men in France because of the fact so many officers write their names "so blindly that it Is dif ficult to make them out" Sir Robert Walpole was Britain's first prime minister, and he served much the longest of all 21 years without a break. There have been 60 premiers since Walpole, who took office nearly 200 years ago. Of the men who have filled the office more than once William E. Gladstone holds the record with four terms. Lonesome Commons It is safe to predict that tin House of Commons, which is t meet early in the new year, will lt the saddest that ever gathered at Westminster in the memory of liv ing men. In spite of the triumph at the polls, which puts him in control for live years, David Lloyd George will look across the floor with a wistful look in his Celtic eyes. With Arthur lialfour to the right and Winston Churchill to the left of him he will have a sense of desolaion as he surveys the Irish benches, oc cupied by a beggarly corporal's guard of eight survivors. Since the Sinn Fciners who swept Ireland, outside Ulster, are going to stay away it will he the most peaceful Parliament since the u i-' ion. The most peaceful, but prob ably the most unintcrestingl lor it had been a tradition of the House of Commons that the only way to get a crowd was to begin a leiate on something having to do with the "distressful country." Think of the familiar faces that have disappeared! Tim Ilcaly of the bitter tongue, yet the delight ot friend and foe, has fallen by the wayside. So have William O'Brien, passionate and emphatic; John Dillon, with the head of a medieval saint and the scornful vocabulary of a prophet, and John Swift Mc Neill who knew more about the rules than the speaker himself. A.nd then all the restl If the ghost of Charles Stewart Parnell still haunts the precincts of the House of Parliament, will that disembodied spirit smile over the wreck of the powerful party, which in the '80s held the existence of British cabinets in its relentless hands? New York Herald. A HOME MADE GRAY HAIR REMEDY You Can Make at Home a Batter Gray Hair Remedy Than You Can Buy. Gray streaked or faded hair is not only unbecoming, but unnecessary You can darken it without using a dye. "Anyone can prepare a simple mixture at home, at very little cost, that will darken gray hair, and make it soft and glossy. To a half pint of water add 1 ounce of bay rum, a small box of Barbo Com pound and A ounce of glycerine. These ingredients can be bought at any drug store ai, very little cost, or the druggist will put it up for you. Apply to the hair twice a week until the desired shade is obtained. This will make a gray haired person look twenty years younger. It is not a dye, it does not color the most deli cate scalp; is not sticky or greasy and does not rub off." Adv. , an I- mm (.' An undertaker's duty to the nub- lic is a solemn one. He occupies a t position of trust that must not be j abused. Vie furnish our patrons with the best, most dignified funeral at $ . a price that shows we do our duty , by our fellowman. N. P. SWANSON Funeral Parlor (Established 188S) 17th and Cuming; SU. Douglas 1060 Bee Want Ads. Supply Your Wants is suprewve Harold -Bauer, r?coqnizect theV world over as one of the few great pianists, writes : , T It giv? me great pleasure to te5tify to rive excellence of the Mason Hamlin tiano5. The instruments I have used not only represent the mosr.-perfect example of the piano-makers art, hut fulfill every imaginable requirement from, the standpoint of hoth planisr and audience, and are the most superbly beautiful instruments I Know- uwiircr oiyTrrni TUCltrsT PRAISED j4r ur to sXowjyou. why 1513 Douglas Street FLU INSURANCE Actuaries cstimste 500,000 died from the effects of the "Flu" In the United States alone, from Sept lst to December list. Can you afford to carry your own rlskt What about thou looking- to you for protec tion? You men that have no insurance and you mm that hare too little. 11,000.00 la not much for your widow and children. The Woodmen of the World have ample funds to protect you up to 15,000.00. y turf et6 JuVC4iVltf or mil psrlleufar phont meottm COL C. L MATHER, Cto PheenOI&o,Pou570. Office, W.O.W.BM. rtena, How, 354J ,ir04 5tli Ao. WOODMEN OF THE WORLD HON. W. A.FRASEH. 5o C OUAHA. HEX I i V. s J V
