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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 2, 1919)
8 THE BEE: OMAHA, THURSDAY, JANUARY 2, 1919 The Omaha Bee DAILY (MORNING) EVENING SUNDAY roVTDED BY EDWARD ROSEWATER VICTOR RQSEWATER. EDITOR THE BEE PUBLISHING COMPANY, PROPRIETOR MEMBERS OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS TU Aaaoctated PrM. of which Th Be Is a number. la aicluilretr ntltled to tu uk for publication nf til nm dUpatcbea credited to it or not nUurwlM credited in tlili paper, mod also the local pabltahad tenin. All rlhui of publication of our special diapatcur are eiao reeened. OFFICES j Oileato Ponplo'i Gii Building. Omina Th Be Blda. New York m 1fu Ate. Houlh Omaha 3318 N 8t- ML Itimt New B'k of Commerce. Council Bluffe 14 N. Main Bt. Washington 1311 0 8U Lincoln-Little Bulldlm. NOVEMBER CIRCULATION Daily 69,418 Sunday 63,095 Average circulatlnn for the month lubeeritwd and nrorn to b E. B Began. Cireulatlon lianaier. Subeerfbera leaving th city ahould have Th Bit mailed to them. Addreea changed at oftoa requested. After a little practice you wil write it all right. be able to Well, Omaha got away from the first bliz zard in good shape. rershing'i thanks to the Salvation Army merely echoes those of the boys. The sunshine of January 1 ought to encour age a lot of folks who still believe in omens. Omaha's welcome to the New Year was safe and sane, but none the less sincere because of its sobriety. Governor McKelvie's ' platform does not please the democrats chiefly because it contains elements of real progress. Carranza has put a duty of $1.10 a hundred on American flour. That means the Mexicans must stick to tortillas and frijoles. Omaha extends welcome to Messrs. Taft and Manley. who come on an interesting and impor tant mission. We hope they enjoy their stay here. "Tiger" Clemencean know what the problem of France contains, and is bent ou protecting his own country. His frankness deserves commendation. San Francisco bid a noisy farewell to the old and hail to the new year, in anticipation of com ing prohibition. Imagination may supply the details. One effect of the railroad administration is the absence of calendars for free distribution, heretofore considered an indispensible part of the business. One Nebraska hog raiser sold a boar to an other for $5,000, which fact you may consider the next time you wonder as to whether there is any money in raising pigs. Russians in Paris profess to a fear that the country is about to be divided. If it can be more completely so than its present condition of hash, it will have to be pulverized. Lucy Page Gaston is going to renew her war on the cigaret. Up to now her efforts have not seriously affected the article, but none can say what perseverance will not accomplish. For about the first time on record father-in-law shows up in a divorce case, and the court holds that he has some rights his son-in-law is bound to respect. The world surely do move. American soldiers at Coblenz have taken charge of 75,000 fancy dress helmets, intended for German officers. These ought to go good with costumers for masquerade balls and the like. Colonel George Harvey gets a lot of philo sophical satisfaction out of the result of the No vember election. He would have been a good companion for old Job, who esteemed his boils i blessing. Talk of using the "Zeps" on trade routes be tween Europe and America is now heard, but if these airships are of no greater service in commerce than they were in war vessel owners should worry. Kansas City's 6-cent tramway fare fight has been ended by the Missouri supreme court de ciding against the increase. This will add a lit tle to the joy of the company, which also has a strike on its hands. Chairman Lever's plan for maintaining the price of wheat in the world market by cornering the United States supply will perhaps work out all right, so far as wheat is concerned, but what about other lines? A Merited Tribute ' , President Wilson could not have paid a high er tribute to the American fighting men than was contained in his Christmas message, in ivhich he said: "I hope that it will cheer the people at home to know that I find their boys over here in fine form and in fine spirits, esteemed by all those with whom they have been associat ed in the war and trusted wherever they go." That is a splendid compliment to the Ameri can soldiers. It is no secret that when they ar rived upon the firing line, practically raw re cruits, with but a brief period of training in modern trench warfare, the British and French did not have a very high opinion of their ability as soldiers. These veterans looked upon the newcomers as an unknown quantity, unable to itand the .strain of hard fighting. But the Americans soon had an opportunity to show their mettle, and in a very brief period they had won the admiration ana confidence of the British and French, who gave them full cred it for the wonderful things they did. From then on until the fighting ceased there was the closest feeling of comradeship between the Americans and the soldiers of other nations. They won by soldierly qualities the esteem of their comrades in arms and have retained it by good behavior. The president says they are "trusted wher ever they KO," and this is borne out by the records. Never was there a cleaner or more considerate army in the field than the men of the United States. In contrast to the fiends of the German forces, they are welcomed by the na tives with every evidence of confidence and af fection. This feelinir the Americans have not abused. The excentional cases have been so few as to be negligible. The Americans are not onlv brave soldiers, but true men. Washington Post. Nebraskans will soon know who is the big ger man so far as express rates are concerned the federal government or the state railway ' board. ! STATE OR NATIONAL EXPRESS RATES. An alternative writ of mandamus has been served by the supreme court of Nebraska on the relation of the State Railway commission, against the United States Railway Express com pany, ordering it to show cause why the board's order governing intra-state rates should not be enforced. This brings the question of control of rates squarely on for issue. When the railroads, and .other common carriers were under corporate management, the line between interstate and intra-state commerce was carefully drawn by the courts, and juris dictional control marked most specifically in definite cases. A very broad twilight zone was never wholly cleared up, however, and disputes as to which power controlled continually arose. When the federal government took over the railroads a year ago, certain phases of the dis pute were adjourned, because of the war emer gency. These were in a measure revived by an announcement from the Interstate Commerce commission that orders of the administration fixing rates were subject to review, and did not partake of immunity because of their source. Taking over the express companies was an after thought on part of the government, and it is now to be established if that act lifted them from under the rate-making power of the state boards. If the business is part of the general postoffice, it seems certain the federal order will stand. However, it will be of service to get a court decision on the point, that a start may finally be made in the direction of adjust in -hat is really a vexatious situation. The situation as it has developed emphasizes the need of adoption of the plan proposed by the republican platform of 1912, which contem plated exclusive federal control of the transpor tation industry, and particularly of rate-making. The maze in which the railroads found them selves, and from which they are to be extricated through the costly experiment of federal opera tion, was due almost wholly to the conflict be tween state and national authority. It is true that unscientific methods of financing and Wall street control contributed to the outcome, but the chief cause was the failure of the various boards exercising oversight to agree on regulations. Oh, How It Hurts 'Em! It hurts the patriotic pride of a good many of us that President Wilson, spokesman of the United States, cannot present credentials of the same unquestionable sort as are held by the British and French governments. World-Herald. Oh, how it hurts the hyphenated bunch for which the Hitchcock organ speaks that Presi dent Wilson cannot show the same vote of confidence credentials as the representatives of Great Britain and France! Waiving for the moment the preposterous claim that these kaiser-coddling Hun sympathizers can have any "patriotic" pride in the face of their rank record of pro-Germanism during the war, is not Sena tor Hitchcock himself, by his almost daily guerilla attacks on the Wilson administration, trying to discredit the president still more by making it appear that he is in bad, not only with the republicans who are naturally expected to oppose his partisan policies, but also with demo crats to whom he has a right to look for sup port? Oh, how the president's predicament hurts 'em and every time it hurts 'em they take an other shot at him. Misunderstood Mr, Burleson. The postmaster general says he pays no at tention to criticism from "blatherskites," mean ing the patient public, whose complaints of poor service have gone unheeded, but when a senator of the United States is moved to go after him, he writes a letter saying everything is all right, only misunderstood. It has been the misfortune of Mr. Burleson to be misunderstood most of the time. He al ways plans his little maneuvers for the good of the people, but folks seldom see it that way. When he cut down the pay of hundreds of rail way postal clerks, by the expedient of assign ing them to other duties and in lower grades, he was misunderstood. When he balled up the whole railway mail service, he was also misunderstood. When he increased postal rates, established a zone system to limit news paper circulation, and played hob generally, the dull public failed to see the beneficence of his plan shining through. All the people looked at was that they were paying more and getting less. Then when he took over the express business and consolidated it with the parcels post, killing competition and lowering efficiency, he missed the praise he expected. Ditto, when he took over the wires and immediately added to the cost of service, and finally when he seized the cables in a fashion that has justified assertion in the senate that he broke faith with congress, he again suffers because the outside world does not perceive his motives. Indeed, Mr. Burleson is a much misunder stood man, but he need not fear he will soon be forgotten by those who have had to put up with him. Nebraska Potash Versus Georgia Cotton. Among other announcements sent back from Paris is one purporting to come from Chairman Hurley of the Shipping Board, who said plans would be made to secure French tonnage to transport potash to the United States. The only potash in Europe is the German product, a large surplus of which has been laid up during the war. This is the basis of commercial fertilizer. which is largely used in the southern states, es- j pecially in the cotton belt. When the German ; supply was cut off in 1914. fertilizer in stock in j this country soared to sky-high prices. The 1 figures were subsequently brought down to a reasonable point by discovery of potash in the lakes of northwestern Nebraska, and the de velopment of the industry in this state was the preservation of the cotton crop. Now, however, the patriotic planters of the solid south want the cheaper German product and the democratic ad ministration appears inclined to give it to them. It means the extinction of a great industry, but what difference does that make? When it comes to a choice between Nebraska potash and Georgia cotton, the administration will not hesi tate long. Right in the Spotlight. Calvin Coolidge, who today takes office as the governor of Massachu setts, has long been prominent in republican politics in the Bay state, although he is still comparatively young in years. Governor Coolidge is a Vermonter who took up his home at Northampton, Mass., and began the practice of law, after com pleting his studies at Amherst col lege. He began his public career in 1899 as a member of the Northamp ton city council. Subsequently he served in the mayoralty of his home city for two terms. Meanwhile he had boadened his experience in public affairs with service in the Massachusetts general assembly, Then he was sent to the state sen ate and became the presiding officer of that body. This service was fol lowed by election as lieutenant governor, which office he now va cates to become chief executive of the commonwealth. Versailles Peace Palace wes. General Felix Angus in Baltimore American. The palace of Versailles is a marvel in archi tectural art and even today stands above all others as an example of the French renaissance, spaciou? and grand in all its apportionments. Its avenues and courts are so planned as to give one an uninterrupted view of the marble build ings, vyhich today are to house the great diplo mats from all countries, who assemble to dis cuss the terms of settlement of affairs in Cen tral Europe. Built upon a perfectly level plain, the great chateau is surrounded by grounds which, includ ing its surrounding parks and forest, formerly j connected with the famous estate of St. Cloud, represent thousands ot acres-. On its parade grourds alone an army of many thousands might easily be drilled. The Field of Honor, as the name suggests, is the spot where the king availed himself of the opportunity to show off his nev!v equipped troops, whose costumes were always the envy of other countries. One Year Ago Today in the War. German government announced that Germany could not withdraw her troops from those parts of Rus sia which had declared their in dependence. In Omaha 30 Years Ago Today. Claus Spreckles, the sugar king, stopped over in Omaha and told of a new undertaking in prospect to make sugar out of beets. George Solinson fell down the hay chute in the stable at Sixteenth and Corby and broke his collar bone. The general committee consisting of James G. Martin, John D. Dadis man, J. A. Hoke, A. C. Foster, H. H. Meday, Edward A. Cudahy, William B. Wallwork, John F. Boyd, and J. B. Erion, appointed to draft the constitution and by laws for a live stock exchange made its report. Election of officers will be held January 6. Veteran firemen's association elected these officers: A. J. Simp son, president; F. F. Hanlon and W. J. Kennedy, vice presidents; J. C. Lichtenberger, recording secre tary; John Baumer, fire secretary; J. F. Sheeley; treasurer. There are now 65 members. The Day We Celebrate. John Edward Summers, M. D., born 1858. Miss M. Carey Thomas, president of Bryn Mawr college and promi nently identified with the plan to create a league to enforce peace, born in Baltimore, 62 years ago. Mrs. Maude Radford Warren, well known writer, who was the first woman nurse to enter Chateau Thierry, born at Wolfe Island, Can., 44 yeuis 2go. Brig. Gen. Preston Brown, mem ber of the general staff corps of the United States army, born in Ken tucky, 47 years ago. Rt. Rev. William Forbes Adams, Episcopal bishop of Easton, Md., born at Enniskillen, Ireland, 86 years ago. August Benzigcr, celebrated New York portrait painter, born in Swit zerland, 52 years ago. This Day in History. 1727 Gen. James Wolfe, the hero of the capture of Quebec, born in Kent, England. Died on the battle field, September 13, 1759. 1801 Lord Tigott's famous dia mond sold by lottery, for which an act of parliament was passed. 1871 French and German forces engaged in severe fighting at Ba pume, with indecisive results. 1897 German emperor congratu lated President Kruger by tele graph on the defeat of Dr. Jameson. 1901 Ignatius Donnelly, who be lieved Bacon wrote Shakespeare's plays, died at Hastings, Minn. Born in Philadelphia, November 23, 1831. 1915 Germany declared all exe quaturs in Belgium invalid. 1916- Huge Russian force hurled sledgehammer blows from Pripet to Roumanian boundary. Timely Jottings and Reminders. The United States congress will resume its sessions today, following the recess over the Christmas holi days. The Senate Interstate Commerce committee at Washington today will begin public hearings on the legisla tive program with regards to the future of the railroads. A great public campaign to advo cate the establishment of a league of nations as an integral part of the peace, settlement is to be inaugurat ed with a public demonstration to be held tonight in the Albert hall, London, under the joint auspices oi the British Trade Union congress and the labor party. A waterways convention has been called to assemble in Pittsburgh to day to urge that the present ses sion of congress shall appropriate a sum sufficient to provide one great deep interior waterway extending from Florida along the Atlantic coast to New York, thence to Lake Erie, the Ohio and Mississippi rivers. Cleveland's city firemen are going the same way Russia's. army went when Kerensky took charge. The eight-hour day is very desirable, for fire fighters as well as for other workers, but it should not be obtained at the expense of all discipline and reason ' Storyette of the Day. Congresswoman Jeanette Rankin told at a Washington tea a story about a mean man. "This man's wife needed a new pair of shoes," she said, "and the poor woman finally tackled her lord and master on the subject. "The mean man hemmed and hawed. He doubted if we ought to wear shoes in war time. Finally, though, he took out his pocketbook. " 'I don't know what you'll do when I'm dead,' he snarled. 'You'll probably have to beg for all the money vou get then.' " 'Well, John," she said calmly, 'it won't be as though I'd had no prac tice, will it?' "Washington Post. Question for Soain. New York' World: Spain Is said to want to have Gibraltar returned to her, giving; Great Britain Ceuta, on the Moroccan side of the atralt, in exchange. But where did Spain obtain Ceuta In the first place? Per haps the -surviving Moorish tribes may desire to say something about self-determination Versaillies has always been the home of the Bourbons. The site was selected by Louis XIV, who, after the success of his army against the German, s wished to do something to impress his foe and, indeed, all Europe with the grandeur of France. Every hall, every court, every ave nue bears a name to commemorate the deeds of his arms, whether the name be that of a great general or that of some conquered town or country. With its many appointments and its great acreage, Versailles is everything in one a palace, a library, a playeround and a museum, as it is today really the Museum of France. The library contains more than 150.000 volumes; while on holidays and fete days thousands flock to the wonderful gardens to enjoy its beauties, not the least of which are the wonderful foun tains which only play on those days for the benefit of the masses. Passing through the famous golden gates leading from the Court of Honor, the visitor sees before him the great pillars which glorify the victories of the creator of the palace. He sees, too,, the huge equestrian statue of'Louis himself, which seems to give welcome to this chef d'oeuvre of his reign, which cost France more than $400,000,000. But what mattered the cost, so his majesty and his court favorites were comfortable and happy. And who could not he happy h the midst of such splendor on the in side, with a surrounding park generously sup plied with game of every description to gratify the taste of the hunt-loving element of the royal household? Great as Versailles was thought to be during the reign of Louis XIV, the reign of his succes sor saw the palace still further enlarged and en riched. One of the first things Louis XV did was to build a remarkable chapel, not so much for his personal edification or glory as to gratify the whim of some of his lovely favorites, among them the stately Madame de Pompadour and the witty, fascinating Du Barry were undoubtedly the most influential over the king. Those love ly but weak favorites, desnite their worldlir.ess and intrigues, were not lacking in a certain kind of religious devotion, and it was for these Louis XV built the richly decorated chapel which still calls forth the admiration of all visitors. When the neace assembly meets in the Hall of Mirrors to discuss the terms of settlement by which justice shall be done to the nations who have paid so dearly during the great world war and to mete out proper punishment to those re sponsible for the terrible sacrifices that have been made and the desolation that has marked the p3th of the invaders, the voice of our own President Wilson will be heard and its echoes will be added to those which will continue to ring down through the ages. Another of the great attractions of Ver sailles is the Hall of Battles, where are the won derful paintings on which France has spent many millions, paintings each one of which sym bolizes her deeds of war and each bearing a name high in the art annals of the country. The same gallery also contains wonderful statuary of France's great men, so that with its royal apartments, its library, its museum and its mar velous works of art in oils and marble, the palace is a world in itself one which the visitor cann'ot easily forget. The 1,400 jets of water which have made the fountains of Versailles famous the world over fall upon myriads of statues representing every character known to mythology, all executed with the same skill as is displayed in the paint ings and statuary inside the palace. Thousands of brilliant, sweet-scented flowers which lend their beauty and fragrance to the scene, com bine to make of it a perfedt paradise. Grottoes, too, are hidden here and there and everywhere about the grounds, while on every side are won derful vistas that enchant the eye. Indeed, it is to be questioned whether the Temple of Solomon itself at Jerusalem was more splendid or more attractive, though with his 700 wives and several hundred favorites, the temple of Bible history must needs have been on a more commodious scale even than Ver sailles. Then, too, Solomon lived in an age when it was not safe for a monarch to go outside of his walled domain, while the kings of France, on the other hand, under the guard regime of his day, could extend his domains almost ad libitvn, and there was nothing to stop hiin in his am bition to make Versailles the greatest abode of royalty in the world. "The Grand and Petit Trianon, too, are scarce ly less interesting than the great palace proper, for they are really architectural bouquets and, occupying a most secluded spot in the great park, afforded a delightful retreat, where the king might forget affairs of state and the ladies might play at being dairy maids, shepherdesses, little bo-peeps or other pastoral characters to their hearts' content. . Little did Louis the Great imagine when he planned all that magnificence which made him the envy of all other monarchs that the mal contents of France would ever make it a ren dezvous in which the more easily to trap royalty and so have an excuse for the discords that rup tured those pastoral doings; for here it "was at the Trianon that Louis XVI and his youthful consort, Marie Antoinette, finally realized them selv s in the midst of a volcanic disturbance in stead of the veritable paradise they had believed it. With Pans only a few miles away and the country financially ruined, the king and his fol lowers were living in luxury and extravagance in a palace th? t had cost the country many mil lions. Jt was in the days before the telegraph or telephone, and even steam was still unknown, so that Versailles might have been 100 miles away instead of a mere 12; for couriers traveled slowly and in their indolence and love of plea sure, the playing court paid little heed to the un rest at the capital. factories were closed, business was at a standstill generally and the populace was on the verge of starvation. The assembly was seeking earnestly to overcome the distressing situation and to remedy the evil conditions which were fast driving the people to desperation. But as is always the case when he who should govern makes merry instead, matters went from bad to worse, until finally Louis XIV and his beautiful, frivolous Marie Antoinette paid with their lives; not solely due to their own faults so much as the stupendous extravagance and dissipation of the regimes of which their own was but a finale or climax. When Gotham's Saloons Go. Promoters of civic welfare work in New York City are up against the problem of providing en tertainment for people hitherto obtaining di version anct other things at saloons. It is stated 10,000 saloons are going out of business in the city. These places have been leisure resorts of a million men, and some substitute must be pro vided. President Collier of the National Com munity Center association urges social centers of equal freedom to the passing salcon as a means of heading off resort tp "blind tigers" and the drug habit' 0 Soldiers and lYench Reconstruction Is-Sur-Tille. France, Deo. 10 To the Editor of The Bee: If Henrv C. MorRenthau, who advocates the proposition referred to in the rarls edition of the Xew York Herald of JSaturday. December 7, that The American army , in Europe, when peace is definitely assured, be used as a sanitary engineering and re construction force to restore to healthy civil life the devastated dis tricts, accomplishing similar work to that carried out by the army in Cuba and the Philippines," is sincere, let him demonstrate it by enlisting his services at $1.10 per day in a sani tary, engineering and reconstruction capacity. We on listed men propose, as a still further challenge to his sincerity, to do equally as much work as he can or will do. This proposi tion is respectfully recommended, not only for his consideration, but for that of anyone else, who like him. thinks that the services, of the American army in Europe, when peace is definitely assured, be used as a sanitary, engineering and reconstruction force to restore to healthy civil life the devastated dis tricts, accomplishing similar work to that carried out by the army of Cuba and the Philippines. It might well be added that we have more than fulfilled our duty to France, and if the people in the United States want to show their ap preciation of what has been accom plished, let them demand that we be sent home without unnecessary de lay. CORP. HARRY E. ANGUS. Co B. 5S R. Train Corps, A. P. O. 712, American E. F., France. Occullisni and Plain Sense. Parker. S. P.. Pec. 29. To the Editor of The Bee: The wiseacres reported in the public prints in ref erence to occult phenomena need the film cut over the optic none to lot in some light. For instance, Conan Doyle and Sir Oliver Lodge come out with postmortem com munications from the great beyond a la bona fide nix! They tell us that soldiers dying on the battlefield have appeared to their parents and sought to tiuiet the anxiety of the mother by pictorials of the spiritual state. In deed, they tell us that everything on the other side is similar to that here, so much so that if a cigar is desirable one is forthwith created and consumed, etc. ' Alas! how necessary it is to give heed to the di vine logic in such matters lest the mind be invaded by a host of de mons and work dementia. Would it not be more reasonable and scrip tural for the fallen angels to person ate anyone and duplicate their man nerism and speech, etc., and thereby deceive the very elect if possible? We read in II Peter 2:4, how these minions of degraded spirits were cast down to hell (misrendered so and re ferring to earth's atmosphere) there to be held in chains of darkness until the judgment of the great thousand year day. Now, according to proph ecy, a larger measures of liberty to decide is being granted them in the. Almighty's program. , Hence the wonders wrought in the name of Rcience and pseudo-philosophy, etc. Instead ftf having contact with the heavens of the unseen, these students have been dabbling in demonism with all it's cunning and super human powers. As a public bene factor we would be glad to forward a complimentary copy of a brochure which will set the honest inquirer straight on this foist. JOSEPH OREIG. Over There Somewhere Next to the throneless kings and jobless princelings of Europe, the shipless admirals are the loneliest mortals in the Central Empires. The lordly strut of other days is gone and exile or obscurity are welcome. American Minister Vopicka to Ron mania persists in his search for the looters who rirled the embassy boxes at Bucharest. General von Mackensen commanded the looters in that section and is reported "in terned" in Hungary. Search him. Cii-itTofla ctrivc tn he neich- ,'nillilllUIIM -T--- borly and anxious to please. Taking neighbors in out of the cold and housing them strains the ties of good will. When these German com iii i, line emi irhl nclmission to the Swiss confederation the latter firmly re fused. Ana me next uay ii suuwt-u. At last aooou-ts the figure of Bill Hohenzollern in the pose of the iirnnhnt n.inipl bclil its niche on the facade of the Met cathedral, in stead of smashing a symbol of boundless vanity the people hand cuffed the bogus prophet's hands and hung on ihe chest a piacara wun me words, "Sic Transit Gloria Muudi." 1? airril 1 t 1 Til! and restriction of the liquor traffic in the United Kingdom during the war made a remarkable showing in reduced convictions for drunkenness and in deaths from al coholism. In England and Wales convictions for drunkenness fell from I.6SS in 1914 to 410 in 1918 for males and from 700 to 137 for women. Male deaths from alcoholism in rep resentative large towns decreased from 105 to .14 and female from 80 to 9, in the same period. Great Britain seems content to let r in tho AMHs of France and in Flanders "where the poppies grow, i ne cniet source oi conieu- ion is the decision of the war graves commission in favor or unirorm headstones, similar to the markers n American national cemeteries. Relatives of many of the dead press for the right to erct distinctive headstones, but the commission holds "it is clearly undesirable to al ow free scope to the enusions ot he mortuary mason, the sentimental rersifier, or the crank." SONG SPEEDING THROUGH COUNTRY, BALLAD CALLED "SOME DAY I'LL MAKE YOU GLAD." which In a point of hcart-tVlt interest in said to be the most pronounced hit writ ten In tome time. The following are a few lines of the vere. RIGHT TO THE POINT. LINES TO A LAUGH. St. Louis Globe-Democrat: It was hardly necessary for Colonel Roose velt to deny that he will visit Europe while the peace conference is in ses sion. He would never take anything except the leading part in any show. Minneapolis Tribune. Gene Debs says George Washington and Thomas Jefferson were the bolsheviki of their time. May be so, but they wouldn't rank as two spots among the 1918 models, because they believed in do ing something for what they got. Kansas City Star: After all, it Is tn be hoped the allies won't sink the surrendered German navy. A navy which for four years showed such a genius for keeping in out of the wet ought to be preserved, if only as a curiosity. New York World: Automobile manufacturers have "completed plans to make 1919 the biggest year in the history of the business." In addition to their new output they will have on hand 96,000 passenger cars and trucks, the orders for which were cancelled by the government on the signing of the armistice. mere win do enougn cars to go around if the wheat states moderate their demands. I i i n ii hi riM sit- spf -.: Sweetheart I feci so sorry. That I have made you so blue. Anil while your heart is hreakiiii, Myj heart is achinic too. Some Day I'll Make You Glad I made yon igh, I maie you cry, 1 brought , -r jorrow and care,.. Bat I will try, dear.hye an Mtl- be, To abara all the aorruwa you bear... mm I'll bring you cheer for ev -'ry tear, For ay -ry 'ir:;'- year you'ye been aad. Lov haa a way, letma vir"fkt J. an. iww.hm Although the sonir is written without high note quite an effect in obtained when sung, owing no doubt, to the tune. Vari ous orchestras are using the melody ni a one-step, waits, and fox-trot. WHY NOT OILS aya-SSSft aRutam is Qoo4 fltttfl. YeM A BOLSHEVIST DREAM "Pr( you think the young mm your clauKhter Is going to murry will treat h.'r well?" "Why do your ask?" "I'ciause. being a doctor. I should be afraid he would be more tnrlined to treat her ill." Iialtimore American. Flatbuph Let me see how does that wedding march go? Can you whistle it? Benaonhurst Don't ask me. I'm trying to forget it. Tonkers Statesman. Crawford You wife must be sentimen tal to have kept the old love letters you wrote her before marriaue. C'rawshaw That isn't the reason. She reads them to me whenever she gets an gry. People's Home Journal. I sometimes think that I would liko To be a bolshevik; Reform at once by general strike The body politic. And start this old world on a hike (if progress double-quirk. Slow legislation would give way To swift and sure ukase. Both sword and pen I'd bring In play All evils to erase. Ami of this bourgeois wnrklngday 1 wouldn't leave a trace. No obstacle would make me pause In what I hail to do; I'd place effects before their cause And make the world anew, Repeal all economic laws And laws of nature, too. But woe! Alas! My heart Is sick, And this the truth that pains; I may not wield the mighty stick; Xo hope of it remains. I cannot be a bolshevik For I was born with brains! F. A. Coates In N. Y. 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