.
8 B
OMAHA, SUNDAY MORNING, DECEMBER 15, 1918.
The Omaha Bee !,
PAILY (MORXIXO-EVEXI.VG-SUN'DAY
FOUNDED BY EDWARD ROSEWATER
1
VICTOR ROSEWATER. EDITOR
THE B.EE PUBLISHING COMPANY. PROPRIETOR
" MEMBERS THE ASSOCIATED PRESS ,
the Associated Fim. of vbicb Ths He U member. U tielulTel
Milled la the um for iiub'hathm ef ill uewn diiitcliea credited
to it or nul tknilM credited in thii paper. nd alio the local
tws publuhed herein. All rialiis cf publication o( our aieial
dispatches r also rern-d.
' OFFICESt
Chicane Penple'a r.M ttnllii.ii(. umaha-Tlie Bet Bldi.
New York 2W1 Fifth Ave. Snath Omahs Ml Bt.
Bt. Louis New ,11'k cf Commeree. t.'ounoll Blu(T 14 N. Mam St.
W'aiiilnston 1311 0 St. Lincoln Little Brtkduis.
NOVEMBER CIRCULATION
Daily 69,418 Sunday 63,095
Atfriso etrrubtion for the month subscribed anfl iwom to by
h. II lUfan. t'irctiUtton Manager.
Subscribers leaving the city should have Th Bee mailed
lo them. Atldreas changed often at requested.
THE BEE'S SERVICE FLAG
"jay'
1 less driver.
i
j Aft AAA A
A
Get behind the Red Cross!
walker is quite as bad aa the carc-
AH you need is a heart and a dollar, and you
can go vith the "greatest mother in the world."
.. It is hard to realise that eight months ago
the ''terror gun" was dropping shells into "gay
Paree."
4 "I raie my glass to the republic of France,"
said President Wilson. What, do you think,
was in it?
That handshake between presidents at Paris
holds nothing of encouragement for despotism,
now or hereafter.
The boys may keep their uniforms and over
coat when they leave the army, which is a
really decent concession to them.
j- Fifteen "thousand troops a day are being re
.la leased from servire. At this rate flip irrednri-
3 ij'ble minimum will soon be reached.
,)! ...
''i, t Count Czcrnin has now joined the "I-told-M-you-so"
chorus, but he is entitled to little credit,
, ; lor ne mignt r.ave :nown it an tne time.
WHEN PRESIDENT MET PRESIDENT.
The handclasp exchanged between President
Wilson and President Poincare at Paris yester
day morning was something more than the
greeting of friendship between two strong men.
It is a pledge of unity and amity for two great
republics, whose peoples are bound together by
a commonalty of ideal and purpose. Ties be
tween France and America have always been of
the closest; these are now knit even firmer by
the dreadful experiences of the war, and the
presence of our chief magistrate at the capital of
our companion republic is an earnest of the sin
cerity cf the friendship so warmly cemented.
This is fairly understood on both sides of the
Atlantic. "Our Visitor expects not flattery
from us," says the Temps. "He is the chief of
a free nation, and likes to be told the truth.
He will listen to convictions more willingly than
to adulation." On such a footing the presence
of lr. Wilson in Paris ought to be the har
binger of good for all the world, for the exam
ple of the foremost republics of all history can
not be entirely lpst when sustained by the emu
lation and generous rivalry here manifest.
Join the Red Cross.
The annual campaign for the Red Cross
membership is commenced, and it ought to be
but la very short time until every Omahan is
registered as a member. Reasons for joining
this organization, for contributing to its main
tenance and assisting in its activities are many
and potent. In its world-wide scop it lias per
formed services that werej possible through no
other agency. It is admitted that several or-.
Ionizations have borne a great part in the ameli
oration of war's horrors, but they were special
in nature and more or less restricted in func
tion. The Red. Cross goes everywhere, is
known everywhere and serves everybody. The
only restriction placed upon it is when it enters
a Mussulman country and becomes the Red
Crescent, but in this it only changes its insig
nia, the blessed purpose remaining the same.
Mercy is its mission, and to relieve misery and
loften hardship its object. Enrollment in its
r list of supporters means association with mil
lions of men and women to whom the appeal
of suffering humanity is not made in vain. The
var has left a dreadful load of responsibility for
Ihe Red Cross to assume, and it must have sup
port. And that is why Omaha will again put
down 100 per cent for the "Greatest) Mother on
Earth."
n
Around the Cities
A .stretch of Koity-seeond street
One Year Ago Today in the War.
Russo-German armistice signed
at Brest-Litovsk.
Austrd-German invaders in north
ern Italy reached Ctal Caprile.
Col. E. M. House, head of. the
American mission to! Europe, re
turned to the United States. '
Views and Reviews
r, . ,i r f rr. ,n . in front )t the Grand" Central terniU
Before ttie DaH Of btreet tar j nul. New York City, has been named
Strikes, but Who Would
Go Back ?
.. One German editor has discovered that the
panics are good fellows. They are also good
The Omaha Athletic Club.
Opening of the Omaha Athletic club's fine
new home means something to the public as
i, fighters, a combination foreign to German ideas, i well as to its members. To the latter it is to
.- . . -- . be a place where the physical as well as the
tne u.esseo ooisneviw is marcn.ng in torce ! soda, si(e of ,ife may be cutivatcd. For the
to invade Germany. This is an alarming as well nMlV it . PV;,,pnr nf ,., nf the
tj - - -
6
In Omaha 30 Years Ago Today.
Mr. and Mrs. A. J. Poppleton gave
a grand reception for their son,
William Sears Poppleton and his
bride, lately returned from their
wedding trip. -
Sixteen yvears ago George Can-.,
field sold a handsome mare to L. M.
Rheem for $350, who in turn sold
her to Mike Maul. The mare was a
The discomforts and inconveniences of a
strike interrupting street car traffic, such as we
have just undergone, grow out of a disturbed
condition of labor, but also reflect the advance
ment and growth of the community. Only live
and progressive cities suffer from car strikes,
and the very fact that the stopping of the street
cars demonstrates how utterly dependent upon
them we are from the direct connection with
all the machinery of business and intercourse, i 8thH0ls
is a reminder now lar we have traveled from
the day of the old bob-tail horse car and in wha.t
a dreadful predicament we would be if we had
to put up again with what we had before we
enjoyed modern street car facilities and go
without jitneys or accommodating uto drivers
to take us in.
J'ershing Square
Des Moines city i-.umeil refused to
grant a 7-cent laiv io tho street rail
way company. Court action- for the
raise is threatened.
Chloajro's specialty is top records.
A local concern employing 10,001)
men gives n war and peace bonus
averaging $130 per person.
The house of representatives has
written into the District of Colum
bia appropriation bill for 19110 a
clause prohibiting th teaching of
the German language in Washington
pet of the family and especially of
Mrs. Canfield. Yesterday Mr. Maul
sent the anjmal to the Canfield
stables as a Christmas present to
the original own:r.
The charter committee has agreed
on a provision to put an end to
platting new additions to the city
whose streets do not gibe with the
existing streets.
Miss Claire Rustin goes to Wash
ington to be the guest of Senator
and Mrs. Paddock.
Mrs. C. D. Thompson and little
daughter are back from Marshall
town. The Day We Celebrate.
Jphn Douglas, president of the
Douglas Printing company, born
1863.
Edward J. Cornish, head of the
National Lead .company, born 1861.
James C. Dahlnian, ex-mayor of
Omaha, born 1865.
Maj. Alexander Lambert, presi
dent of the American Medical as
sociation and surgeon general of the
American Red Cross in France, born
in New York, 57 years ago.
Rear Admiral John E. Pillsbury,
II. S. N., retired, born at Lowell.
Mass., 7.T years ago.
Alexandre Gustave Eiffel, the en
gineer who built the Eiffel tower in
Taris, born t Dijon, France, 86
years ago.
Louis Lombard, noted American
capitalist and art patron, born at
Lyons, France, 57 years ago.
Though perliaj repetition to many of my
readers, to pthers it may be of interest to recail
that when I was a small boy in early-day
Omaha the street cars ran only from the Mason
street depot to Farnam street. At each end
was a turntable, and when the terminal was
reached the driver clambered out of his car, un
blocked the swivel, reversed by swinging car
and horses in a semi-circle, loitered about for
five or ten minutes as time schedule required,
and then drove back. It was all single-track
road with a turn-out to let two cars pass- with
out stopping, providing, of course, they reached
the point at the same time; otherwise one would
wait on the siding till the other came up. As
the town grew the street railway system grew,
too. by laying more track and moving the turn
table each time farther from the starting point
at the depot. In this way the uptown terminal
was relocated and multiplied, first at Fifteenth
and Farnam and then at Twenty-fourth and
Cuming, at Twenty-eighth and Farnam, at the
head of St. Mary's" avenue, at the Hanscom park
corner, etc. The opening up of new additions
to the city, throwing building lots on the mar
ket and scatterinpr the population, had more or
less to do with the steady lengthening of the
street car ride from a few blocks to as many
miles.
as an interesting phase of the post-war situation.
ft
community. Forward-looking and enterprising
men are back of it, -and just as they attest their
pride in the city by providing this beautiful
"home for recreation and comfort, so they will
give other proof of their belief in the future of
Omaha. The city will realize its material pros
pects only as it has energetic, public-spirited
A few more weeks and the bolsheviki will men to give life to what otherwise will remain
but dreams. These men are of the sort who
have made the Athletic club a reality. They
have given a stately and impressive structure
as an enduring proof of the interest they have
in their stake here, and by it have added an
other to the many elegant buildings that must
impress the visitor with the importance of
Omaha. For that reason all are to be congrat
ulated that the Omaha Athletic club has come
fy,tr -senator onimions complains mat me revenue
law cannot get attention, but he must make
some allowance for the tendency of his fellows
to tatk. '
...i .
In
iyllhave to go to work or go "hungry, for the world
vis not long going to feed any who will not help
7 ? themselves.
I
Terhaps one of the reasons the Germans are
4 i. little' slow in turninsr in military airolanes is
because so many of them are being used by
former Hun m;'.gnates as means to escape to
neutral countries.
' Criticism of the War Risk bureau and the
paymaster general's department is likely to rise
to something higher. These seem to be not i
liiuch better organized than they were before !
the var broke out. ', 1
into existence.
Now the women folks suggest that a world-
.Sijwide blow-out in celebration of universal peace
ft be staged on April 19 and 20, next. That will
(be as good a time as any, if the flu is past and
'Jt rain docs not intervene!
.,... . , ,
jt, . ; ,.;
Sailor's on the cruiser .Brooklyn are reported
v .v MVVII lWl HIILII A IC1 I lllv CXUIUSlOIl
r
Hohensollern Under the Law.
The address of the Dutch premier on the
status of the fugitive ex-kaiser brings out some
of the legal points that must be settled. With
this arises a picture that must be highly edify
ing. It is that of the arrogajit, cruel despot,
the international bully and braggart, finally re
lying on the law he so flagrantly and persist
ently violated. A few months ago the only
law he acknowledged was his own imperial
will, the only restraint he recognized was the
natural obstacles he could not overcome, and
the only sense of right that held his mind was
This Day in History.
1753. Samuel R. Webb, a revolu
tionary veteran who held the Bible
for Washington when he took his
oath as first president of the U. S.,
horn at Wethersfield, Conn. Died at
Ciaverack, N. Y., in 1807.
1848 A 'postal convention be
tween Great Britain and the United
States was signed at London by
Lord Palmerston and Minister Ban
croft. 1868 Officers of the federal ar
mies of the Ohio, Tennessee, Cum
berland and Georgia held their first
reunion at Chicago.
1893 More than a score of work
men killed by the fall of a part of a
bridge in course of erection over the
Ohio at Louisville.
1914 Austrians crossed passes of
the Carpathians in Galicia.
1915 General Sir Douglas Haig
succeeded Field Marshal Sir John
French in command of the British
forces in France and Flanders.
1916 Emperor William threaten
ed vengeance if . entente allies did
not accept his peace proposition.
4 , . . lllc oniy sense ot rigm tiiui ociu ins iiimu wa
shook the .snip But that is characteristic of what he might enforce b h!s invincible" army
Timely Jottings and Reminders.
The American Jewish congress is
tc meet in Philadelphia today to
discuss the revival of Jewish nation
ality in Palestine and a guarantee of
equal rights for Jews in all countries.
Paris is reported to be preparing
an elaborate program for the enter
tainment of President and Mrs.
Wilson and other members of the
If anyone had told the early horse car driver
that he wa to be the forerunner of an army of
nearly 1,000 rnotormcn and conductors, needed
to operate Omaha's street railway system,
within this short time he would have laughed
outright. The driver was the whole thing he
ran the car, stopped it to let passengers on and
off, made change through a slide-aperture in
the door, and for this nurpose was custodian of
a tin box fittted with compartments holding
little envelopes of nickels or dimes in the right
amount, looked after die watering and feeding
of his horses, and a lot more. He was exposed
to wind and weather and often had to clear up
his own track with shovel and broom. He was
the frequent victim of the hold-up man (real or
faked), appearing suddenly at the lonely end of
the line to relieve him at the point of a revolver
of his accumulated fares and change box. Oth
erwise the collections were taken out of the fare
receptacles by one of the Marsh boys, who had
their station at the Wabash corner and stopped
each passing car to scoop the nickels and dimes
into a canvas bag much to the delight of us
boys as interested spectators. The cars were
little boxes on wheels, with hard wooden
benches running from end to end on each side.
In wintertime they were unheated and freezing
cold, but had the floor covered with loose hay
for foot-warmer and dirt cover. There were no
"car stop" signs and no transfers, and no ex
cuse to fuss about open windows or ventilators.
Yes, and there were no car strikes, either. But
who vants to go back to t'-.e horse car?
Minneapolis is winding w a win
ning drive for a $3.0iiii,iino war chest
for 1919. Pledges for $2,3S1.38S
have been turned in and the women
folks are hustling for the balance.
Curfew will not ring or whistle at
9 p. m. or any other hour in New
York City. An ordinance for that
purpose encountered the mayor's
veto and "took the count," as the
sporting page says.
Ten portraits of distinguished
Americans laid around in indepen
dence Hall, 1'hiladelphia. while the
art jury debated on their worthiness
for a place on the walls, (tats and
mice smelt a good thing and chewed
up the canvases, ending the art
jury debate.
. Sioux City claims to have out
grown present postotlice facilities
and wants a new building befitting
the city's future needs. The Com
mercial club vfill probably send a
committee to Washington to advise
congress on its duty in the premises.
"Get money, honestly if you can.
but get it," fits the scheme of candy
sellers around the schools of Passaic,
X. J. According to the school prin
cipal's report dealers sell drugged
or alcholized candies to children,
who reach schuol in a doped condi
tio. A Philadelphian who says- ho is
obliged to walk four blocks to a car
has filed a complaint with the public
service commission requesting that
the skip-stop system be abolished
and pence time service restored. He
cently the Philadelphia councils ap
proved the system as a war conser
vation measure. ,
Representatives of Missouri cities
got together at Kansas City last
week and agreed that prompt action
must be had to defend municipal
control over franchise corporations.
15y various ways the creators of such
corporations have been deprived of
their rights and control shifted to
ihe state commission. The gather
ing resolved to press for a state
constitutional convention which will
restore to cities control over cor
porations and insure fulfillment of
franchise obligations.
the American sailor. Remember Corporal "Bill
Anthony, wben the Maine went down?
-: . c "I'-tl-t
- That Denyer detective vprobably 'did not in
tend to kill the girl he hit,vbut he ought to be
sequestrated for long enough time to enable him
to absorb something of a notion as to the rela
tive rights of ordinary men and women.
Citizens of Cologne do not relish being
placed under restriction by the Allies, forget
ting conditions. However, the poor of tin
town are hungry enough to be patient with any
sort of treatment that will bring them food.
i '
k Italia and the Jugo-Slavs are about to stage
a'Htt!e ruction of their own over the "Irridenta."
This'land ought to be redeemed without resort
to arms, and will be if the impetuous claimants
only restrain their ardor till the peace council
'sits.
Nebraska Leads 'Em All
Nebraska's name leads all the rest in the
number of automobiles per capita, that opulent
commonwealth having a t:ar for every eight in
habitants. Moreover, the west is so far ahead
Of the cast.and south that the latter can hardly
be expected to take an interest in the figures.
Even the .District of Columbia, where there is
popularly supposed to be such a congestion of
cars as. to have made it necessary for certain
boards to move to Vhilndelphia, is eighth in the
list. .The leading eastern state is Maine, which
ranks twenty-first. Doubtless it is the ubiquit
ous tractop that accounts for this arrangement.
But who would have thought thst under any
circumstances Montana would have more auto
mobiles' in proportion to population than Kan-'
sas, or Arizona than Ohio? States lying side
by side are far apart in this respect. Colorado
has an automobile for every dozen persons
withia her borders, while in Utah every car
must serve ak-nost twice as many. New York,
vyith the pleasure cars of the largest city in the
country and an up-state with farming communi
ties, might be considered to have a good chance
for a place high in the list, but it is thirty-third,
being preceded by New Jersey and followed by
Oklahoma. ,In absolute number of automo
biles it is first, with 434,000. Pennsylvania is
the only other easterft state with more than
300.000, and It is led by Ohio and Illinois, while
California and Iowa also bf ast that number. The
ficrnrre ' rnmnilerf hv the bureau of nuhlicitv of
the Omaha Chamber of Commerce, would be"
still inore Jfctercsting if they were analyzed to
khow. f.ht relative number of pleasure vehicles
and tractors in the several states. New York
PoC-'sr:t:-;-. , - '.-. .
Treaties were scraps of paper, international law
a fiction revered by weaklings, and moral obli
gations nonexistent. It. is a tribute to the maj
esty of the law, that even this abject and mon
strous criminal, who has offended against
every statute of God or man, can appeal to it
and be certain it will not be violated in letter
or spirit in order that righteous justice be done.
William Hohcnzollern will be dealt with by
civilized nations Recording to their usages,
that right may be upheld.
Sea Blockade and Neutral Rights.
Earl Grey's discourse on the necessity of
sea blockade as a war measure illuminates, but
loes not dispose of, the knotty points therein
involved. On his way to Europe President
Wilson is reported to have said that the differ
ences between the American and British views
are not I irreconcilable. This is undoubtedly
true, for the interests of the two countries are
identical, and in some way they concern the
rights of all nations. Earl Grey refers to points
brought up by the United States from time to
time as the war progressed prior to our taking
part as a belligerent. These did impede Great
Britain in the prosecution ,of the constructive
blockade, but they also greatly relieved neutral
traffic. Our course, then, fairly commits us to
the general proposition that trading between
neutrals is not to be suspended at the conveni
ence of belligerents. How far this can be made
to conform to the so-called "constructive"
blockade may develop at the peace table, but it
is plain that freedom of the seas carries with it
the right to traffic between open ports.
American delegation to the peace i im of ,he president
conference on their first Sunday in r
the French capital.
Strangely co-incident is the appearance of
former President Taft in connection with the
adjustment of a street car strike in Omaha. It
just happened that our preceding street car
strike, then on in full blast, almost upset the
program for the entertainment of Mr. Taft
when he came here as the city's guest after he
had become the nation's chief executive. The
very day of his arrival found traffic in the tur
moil of strikers and strike-breakers. The air
was full of threats of what was going to be
done, and some outbreaks of violence had actu
ally occurred. The serious -responsibility of
caring for a president kept a lot of neople awake
n'uhts. The schedule called for an auto ride
about the city for the presidential party, with i home at Island Heights, an oak
the route specially laid out to pass as many of I which grew up alongside of a rail
thi nnh ic .nnr narnrroa schoo s as nossih e. the -"" (,'i.uiuany
.... r i .- . i .
children being drawn up in best bib and tucker
and waving American flags to greet the distin
guished visitor. The youngsters were doomed
to disappointment. Under orders to keep mov
ing fast to avoid possibility- of trouble, the
autos bearing the nresident came speeding along
without stop or slow-down, and scarcely came
in sight before they had whizzed past in a cloud
of dust. .The course was traversed in about
one-fourth of the time planned, and most of the
school children went home without even a
QUAINT BITS OF LIFE.
Police interpreters are slationed in
the principal streets of Paris to assist
allied soldiers.
A fox ran unconcernedly along the
sidewalk of a street in Millinocket,
Me., apparently interested in seeing
something of the town before hiking
to the forest.
Cows are so fixed in their habits
that one Maine farmer says that all
summer long he has had to run two
kinds of time, with one clock set for
the cows and the other set for day
light-saving. 1
Because insects collect at the up
per end of screen doors an inventor
has brought out, one in two sections
permitting children to enter through
the lower section without admitting
insects to a house. 1
Fourteen million dollars' worth of
opium, purchased by the Chinese
government from foreign opium
merchants and packed in 1,200
chests, is to-be burned by the gov
ernment at Shanghai.
The largest book in .the world 12
feet high, 8 feet wide and 3 feet
thick stands in the public square
in Ottawa, Canada. It was made and
bound by the Canadian Government
Printing Bureau at Ottawa, and con
tains the names of all the contrib
utors to the Victory loan.
Congressman Moore of Pennsyl
vania has a pet tree at his country
In the Wake oj War
The brave deserve Ihe sweets, and
get 'em. too. Half a pound of candr
every 10 days is the regular ration
for the boys abroad.
As an additional inducement
for navy recruits to Join the tiobs
at (?reat Lakes announcement Is
made in the Ollielal Bulletin that
"Free dancing le.-isons for men in
uniform will be given at the Wau
kegon armory." besides "regular
dances every Saturday night." All
the joys of life as well as the train
ing. What job can beat it?
Correspondents with the armies
of occupation on tho Rhine tind an
abundance of food at hotels enroute
and on the spot for all who have the
price. The hunger look of most
people is too plain to be mistaken,
which means a shortage of money,
not of food. These observers on
the spot intini; that a proper dis
tribution of foi I on hand would put,
Germany over the winter comforta
bly. To obviate in some degree the
prospect of lapses in government in
surance held by men serving with
the colors, following their discharge,
steps. are being taken to provide for
conversion into some of the policy
forms ottered by private companies.
There are 4.30fi.4b'9 policy holders,
averaging $ S . 7 4 ."i each. The main
object is to adjust insurance terms
to the financial ability of the holder
as an inducement to stick d a good
thing.
Kditor Adam Rreedo of the Hast
ings Tribune regales his readers with
the story of his trials in conveying
by signs his dosire to buy a pair of
socks in a Paris shop managed by
girls. As a last desperate resort ho
pulled up the leg of his trousers and
showed 'em. of-course, Adam got
'em. These little details of a Par
isian shopping tour servo as a frame
for the picture of Adam sorting
French socks. Do tho votaries of
the simple life in Hastings get that?
Is there no Eve around to slam the
lid on such frivolity?
A writer in the Illustrated World
tells how the gas warriors of Hun
land toward ;he finish of the light
put British tanks out of business
with gas bombs. Tho bom lis car
ried carbon dioxide, which on burst
ing threw a tremendous amount of
gas, The gas did not inconvenience
the men, but smothered the gas en
gine. "No gasoline engine," says
the writer, "can deliver an ex
plosive mixture to the carburetor
in an atmosphere of carbon dioxide.
When the air became filled with this
gas the tanks became useless."
CENTER SHOTS
1 The full take of pro-German propaganda in
America is not yet made up, but everything
charged so far has been substantiated by proof,
and a lot of things that were unsuspected have
been brought out. "Boring from within" never
had such exemplification as the kaiser's emis
saries gave in America. Will we ever be so
gullible or complaisant again?
Armenia proposes to set; up business imme
diately as an independent nation. Rights to
such distinction date back farther than those
of any European power.
Storyettes of the Day.
George Bartol, president of the
Philadelphia Boufse, was talking
about the "Via Philadelphia" move
ment for the upbuilding of the aris
tocratic old Quaker city.
"The men who won't help this
movement on the ground that they
ure too busy with other things,"
scid Mr. Bartol, "should remember
Uncle Ned of West Manayunk.
"A stranger to Manayunk watch
ed Uncle Ned fishing in Rudolph's
dam. For nearly an hour he watch
ed the old man, and not once was
the line pulled up.
"'Do you thin!: there are anv fish
in that dam?' the sanger asked.
'"No, sah; Ah knows dey hain't,'
said Uncle Ned, with an amiable
smile.
" 'But you're fishing!'
"'Yas, sah. Oh, yas, sah; Ah's
a-fishin'.'
" 'But maybe you're not fishing
for fish. What is your object?'
" 'De object of mah fishin' fo' fish
whar dey hain't no fish,' said Unc!e
Ned, 'is to let mah old woman see
dat Ah hain't got no time fo' ter
hoe the potato patch.'"
A Wall street man tells this story
of a well-known financier, noted
alike for his perspicacity and his
close-fistedness:
Two promoters once called on
him to try to rouse his interest in a
certain scheme of theirs. They
talked to him about an hour. Then
they took their leave, having been
told that he would let them know
his decision in a few days.
"I believe we've got him!" said the
first promoter hopefully on the way
uptown.
"I don't know," said the other.
"He seems very suspicious."
"Suspicious?" echoed the first
"What makes you think he is sus
picious?" "Didn't you notice," was the reply,
"how he counted his fingers after I
had shaken hands with him!"
' Volunteers for flu tests in Boston are re
ported to be getting fat on the treatment. Mut
be something wrons there " '
Leave It to the Children.
Christian Science Monitor: The ,
adult in the communities of the
Rhine district stayed indoors while
the United States 'troops were
marching through. The children,
however, could not be kept In al
together. ' This is the important fact.
It will be well for Germany if the
children of that country shall rev
member what thev saw
People and Events
The trouble that he bought and paid for
lives after Von Bernstorff.
Great Britain had its "day" like the rest of
the allies. New York went the lion one . bet
ter, giving k two days.
Mr. Sugar Bowl is convalescing favorably
and pleasantly and renewing acquaintance with
old friends. You old spooner, shake!
We are grappling manfully and nervily with
the pressing problems of peace. With all the
majesty of the job a Jersey judge rules that
there is no redress from the owner if a goat
butts a man and knocks him down a flight of
stairs. t
It is worth while noting that Uncle Sam
makes a little money on the side in the making
of money. The treasury reports a rakeoff of
$28,538,000 in minting $43,590,000 worth of
coins. Some consolation for the persistent pull
of his leg.
Tom Marshall says he told some stories
' himself at the cabinet session over which he
presided semi-officially. No doubt of it. Stories
are Tom's favorite camouflage. Remember that
side-splitter told in Omaha in 1916: "Vote for
Wilson; he'll keep us out of war."
Greece is quick to reach the counter where
its credit is good. Uncle Sam holds its paper
for $28,764,036, and expects to hold it for
awhile. Eventually, if not sooner, your Uncle
may be persuaded to publish for the benefit of
debtors a vest pocket edition of Ben King's re
minder, "If I Should Die Tonight."
A. Bruce Bielaski, head of the bureau of in
vestigation, Department of Justice, decided to
quit the job and leave Washington because he
could not live on a salary of $3,500 a year, and
Mrs. Bielaski had to take in teaching to help
support their five children. War prosperity,
when closely searched, reveals many gloomy
angles.
Prospects brighten for big bargains in the
sale of surplus war supplies by the government.
The Illinois Manufacturers' association an
nounces that its Washington bureau "will keep
in close touch with the division of surplus prop
' erty." That's a plain hunch for bargain seek
ers from other states.'
Down' Georgia way an armistice has been
declared between belligerent editors and blood
spilling averted. The aggressor swatted the
typewriter and exclaimed in the usual way:
"The man who says the jokes in this column
are 'not original is a liar." That spells blood
or neckstretching in crackerdom. Seeing the
odds against him the envious doubter signed up:
"As we hear that Uncle Jipi Williams is a six
footer and has two sons a little taJler, tar be
it from us to question their original
absorbed the
rails within its trunks. He sawed
off the rails and keeps the project
ing ends painted. The tree is an ob
ject of interest to all visitors.
DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES.
'Vlr-f means Just the same as cook,
don't it pa?"
"Yes. Bobby, but don't let our cook
know it, or she'll demand 815 more a
month !" Browning's Magazine.
Burrows Thanks for the $3. old rhap
but what is this pamphlet you've handed
me?
Wyse I always give that with a loan
It tells how to strengthen the memory.
IJoston Transcript.
"Poor ThoMy is so empty headed. I
wonder what is the matter with him."
"Oh. he was raised on a bottle."
"That doesn't explain it."
'Yes, It does; by mistake they gave him
a vacuum bottle.1' Louisville Courier-Journal.
"Is Mrs. Knowitall going -to the mas
querade as the Queen of Sheha?"
"Not much she is. It would never
enter her head to impersonate a person
who went to another to learn wisdom."
Baltimore American.
"Have you ever done any public speak
ing?" "I once proposed to a girl over the
telephone in my home town." Life.
Brown Did you hear that big siren
whistle on Liberty day?
Green Was she a blonde or brunette?
J udye.
Romantic Myrtle: "O, don't you just
long to be a bride and live in a vine
clad cot?"
Matter-of-fact Polly: "Well, yes. But
I wouldn't overlook a chance at rubber
plant flat, at that." Urowning's Maga
"The cost of funerals Is going up."
"Here's a pretty dilemma. Living is
too expensive and It costs too much lo
die." Baltimore American.
"They say Mr. Jinks makes his wife
such handsome presents "
"I should say he did. He offered her
this Christmas her , choice between a
diamond ring and a case of eggs." In
dianapolis Star.
Atlanta Constitution: The hope
of the world is that It won't be long
now until the Russian bear walks,
talks and acts like a man.
Washington Post: Now that the
a Hits have won a war, let's see if
they are smart enough to keep the
perpetrators from slipping through
their fingers.
Philadelphia Ledger: Government
ownership of the railways is another
policy which seems to have gone
glimmering. Neither the adminis-
tration nor congress wishes to take
tne responsibility.
Brooklyn Kagle: About 19.S00
soldiers in United States camps died
of influenza, more than half as many
as the Germans killed abroad.
Plague, pestilence and famine are
stilj the worst enemies of the
human race after ail.
Detroit Free Press: Chairman -Baruch,
of the war industries board,
in announcing the impending with
drawal of restrictions on the uso of ;
print paper, urges publishers to
adopt permanent rules for the pre- J
vention of wasteful practices. Will i
the bureau of public information j
please note?
New York World: After reading j
the reports of the senate's sessions :
day after day, the average plain
American citizen must wonder what '
has become of the husincrs on the j
calendar that awaits the senate's
attention. Has that Imposing body !
stopped functioning altogether ex- ,
cept as a debating society?
The following is a list of inven
tions which tho Parent office has re
cently received: An automatic hat
tipping device, a torpedo-proof I
house, a bit to curb snorting, spec- j
tacles for a fighting rooster to keep ;
his eyes from being peeked, a bund
to keep chickens from flying over a
fence, a noiseless alarm which
arouses the sleeper by shaking him
and a device that showers pepper on
a burglar.
mm shave
011KLY
When yon only remove hair
from the urface ot the akin the
result Is the name as nhnvlnu. The
only eommon-Hrnse way to remove
balr la to attack it under the akin.
De.Miracle, the original sanitary
liquid, does this by absorption.
Only genuine UeMlrocle has a
money-back guarantee In card
package. At toilet counters In UOc,
91 and fa alces, or by mall from
us in plain wrapper on receipt of
price.
FnEK book mailed In plain
aealed envelope on request. De
Nlracle, 12!)th St. and Park Are.,
New York.
Gone but not forgotten are thp folks we
have lived with and loved. And now we
must honor them with a service that is in i
keeping with the affection we have for
them. Let us ,tako charue of the funeral I
service. We will assure you that you will
thank us for our services and zealous care.
N. P. SWANSON, 1
Funeral Parlor (Established 1888.)
17th and Cumin.e; Sts. Douglas 10GO.
Ballads of the Bay
PLAYER ROLLS
Sentimental selections
r.d love sonp;s of today. Po;
uiar favorites with good music
by. well known artists
And 1,000 Other Rolls
"What a Wonderful Mes-
sage From Home"
"Roses"
"Who Do You Love?"
1513 Douglas St.
The Christmas Art and
Music Store.
VP1119
SUGGESTIONS
Selection Extraordinary
Maion & Hamlin Pianos
Kranich & Bach Piano
Vote & Sons Pianos
Kimball Pianos
Bish & Lane Pianos
Cable-Nelson Pianos
KOSPE PBANOS
PLAYERS ,
Apollo Reproducing Player
Gulbransen Player
GRAND PIANOS
From $525 up to $2,400
CASH OR CREDIT
liiiiiHiTiin
Electric fiano Lamps
Mahogany, Walnut and Gilt
Standards, from $12 up.
Shades, 12-inch, 18-inch, 20-
inch, 24-inch, from $3.50 up; all
colors.'
Desk Lamps, electric, $2.50
up.
Great assortment oft Shades,
from $1 up.
- Art Flovrs
Many new va-
riof ino n n v n r
shown before;
'O prices, 25c up.
Candlesticks
Mahogany, Poly
chrome, Ivory
carved, from $1 up.
Candles in the
latest patterns
from 25c up.
Cordova
Leather
L a dies'
Purses, Bags,
Card Cases,
P o cketbooks,
Cigarette and Cigar Cases, Fold
ing Frames, Memo Booklets, $1
up.
Work Baskets
. For children
and adults, in
many shapes
and sizes,
$1.50 up.
Mirrors
1 ''L.M,,
Period. Frames, Colonial
French and Just Mirrors; table
sizes up to mantle and pier mir
rors. Wonderful creations at
pre-war prices.
1513 Douglas Street.
The Christmas Art and
Music Store.
Will there be a
HONORABLY DISCHARGED.
I've served my time, and I've done my bit.
In these lonK. sad days of v;ir,
I've huns to my Job, and I never iuit,
Till we won what we were fighting for.
Through the long, long days and the
weary night
I stayed alone at my post.
And I struggled and fought like a true
son fights
In attacking the enemy host
Facing alike the sun and the rain.
Loyal, though the colors did fade,
I'nronselous of sorrow, sadness and pain,
I held till the peace terms were made.
At attention I've stood since I started to
serve.
T'nfilnchingly I've played the game,
And there's never a time that I lost my
nerve
In this war which has won men fame.
Do
Cross on my battered
not pin
fold!
For the services which I have given.
If the star of blue has been changed to
gold, '
The reward will come In heaven.
So take mc from the window there,
The service flag of a million men,
And fold me up with an earnest prayer,
That I may never have to serve again..
Imperial, Neb. DAVE MEEKER.
(
j-iiJi'ifV1
I
"Vsii'-U?!
Vicirola
t rr wa t rj a a. ui m
a- 1st H H?fa H mif .
in your home
this Christmas
Victrola XVI . $225.C
(illustrated)
Records - - 12.50
' (your choice)
Total $237.50
month
Terlns, $12.50
Other Victrolas as low
as $25 easy terms
rr
Cv'srun in
r
Z4rfanJA(usio
"The Victor Store"-
1513-15 Douglas St.