i.mm'M o ir tirihmw: tPi? m firm . omaha. sb
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OM& SundM Bee
NDAY MORNING, NOVEMBER 3, 1918.
. By ROBERT J. HORTON.
If you see a middle-aged sort of
man going about these days with his
eyeglasses hanging down on the
outside of his coat and- a queer look
'n his eyes, do , not call the wagon.
'It is nothing dangerous.
- He doubtless has just finished
making out his questionnaire!
It- used to take a Philadelphia
lawyer to do such things. - But peo
ple learned a whole lotv about the
law business after they begun to
make out questionnaires.
With no previous opinions to go
by; without the case of Casey
against Jones, or more likely Smith
against Brown, in the court of ap
peals in such-and-such comity,
eighteen-eighty something, as a
foundation, and with no previous
filled out forms to work with, the
lawyers made about as many mis
takes as their clients.
Albums Come Back,.
. So filling out the questionnaires
has been a matter of matching in
dividual! memory against govern
ment doubt. Aniwhen it comes to
exemptions the government has
proved very pessimistic. At times
there has seemed almost no hope!
It was remarkable how little we
knew about ourselves until we start
ed on that questionnaire. With a
single stroke Mai's brought about
10,000,000 family albums back on the
..center table from the garret where
they had been discarded and had laid
Here's a Reason
Why It's Costing
That Extra Buck
l x tins iai ijr iviuiiuaj mui snug
. Place River road, two mifes out
side the city limits.
Officer-, Sharpeye stands at the
'side. of the Toad, a lead pencil stuck
behind, his ear, disguised as a book
keeper. ,
-From far down the road a rap
idly moving cloid of dust swirls
against the. lurid gold an'd crimson
of the autumn fields and foliage.
"Ah, ha," breathes Sharpeye, re
moving the pencil and donning a
pair of gauntlet gloves, thus dis
guising himself as a chauffeur out
pi work. "Ah ha ha!"
The swirl of dust approaches at. a
high rate of speed and a long, gray
roadster noses otat ahead of it.
Sharpeye, throwing some dust on
his badge to 'camouflage it, steps
into the road. t
The roadster slackens speed, hesi
- tates stops.
"Good mornings officer,, step in;
. I'm going right into town. No need
of you staying out here, nothing
on the road, I've passed everything
.for 25 miles back nothing but a
few, teams." .
Sharpeye breathes a sigh of dis
gust, intermingled with relief. He
enters the car, accepting the prof-
fered cigar. "Thanks," he says
gruffly, removing his disguise and
thrusting them into a spacious
pocket.
The car purrs- like a contented
cat and the speedometer flirts with
(A. ; , v ?
"Beautiful morning, isn't it?" re-
among the dust and ruin and the
case of liquor bought for medicinal
purposes just before the state went
dry- , '
And instantly the wife came into
her , own! Why not? Didn't
hubby need ler affidavit to prove
he had bonafide dependents? You
bet he did. And when he got a good
look at tfie" requirements of that
questionnaire he quit kicking about
rthe coffee being cold, and objecting
to the cats in the house, and deplor
ing the ungodly sum spent on the
new hat.
Changes His Tactics.
Instead, he billed and cooed.
That is, he billed and cooed as best
He could, being considerably out of
practice. A man must keep his
hand in to be an efficient biller and
cooer..
Now Powell has drawn a car
toon to go with this yarn, or this
yarn is being written to go with a
cartoon Powell has drawn.
In that cartoon he has asked a
number of questions, having qui
a bit of space to fill. These ques
tions were put up to a certain neu
tral gentleman who answered them
as follows:
Q. Do you love your mother-in-law?
, A. In the same way that I
cherish my broken golf sticks.
,Q. Have you arty religious
scruples against peeling potatoes?
A. I believe that beauty is only
skin deep. I love beauty.
When War Will End.!-
Q. When do you think the war
will end? -"
A. When the "man" has been
taken out of Germany and the "hel"
out of Wilhelm.
Q. Did you have the flu?
A. I took a certain preventive.
Q. Did you ever meet the editor
of the Bumble Bee?
A. No, but I've been stung by
him.
, Q. Have you paid your coal bill
yet?
A. Not only mine, but at the rate
I am paying the hotel per week I
have paid also the- coal bills of sev
eral other guests." '
' Bryan Did It.
Q. How old ;were you on your
first birthday?
A. I was old enough to know
enough toeatj"egular, something I
haven't always known enough to do
since.
Q. Do you think you will ever
amount" to much?
A. I "want but little here below,
And that six years old if I can get it.
Q. Do you wear bed slippers?
A. No, but I believe in night
caps.
Q. Did you ever crack a Ford
joke?
A. Yes, and cranked them, too.
marks the man at the wheel. "I al-j 0n the scene was
ways enjoy these trips out to my
-farm for over-Sunday. The fresh
ness, of the fields and the snappy
. air -fix me up for the week's grind
"in the old office. Great stuff. 'And
you've rode" in with me so many
times this summer and fall I've
' really come to look forward to it.
Seems as if we were old friends."
Sharpeye grins with pleasure and
then itmembering his official ca
pacity, looks sternly ahead. "Drop
me at the police station," he com
mands.
Q. Who killed Cock Robin? q
vvunam Jennings tsryan.
Q. Don't you think this is silly?
A. I don't think, I KNOW!
Wrfat is Art.
There, that took up quite a bit
of space. Powell has nothingon
me. And he complains in his comi
cal cartoon: "I don't see my job
listed."
Of course not. Art isn't a job nor
an occupation. It is a state of mind!
And that thing about the preacher
being horrified at the question:
"Have you ever been convicted of a
crime?"
.That's lar-fetched. It would take
more than that to horrify a preacher
nowadays! Preachers have changed.
Why, we've even got 'em in the
newspaper business. Some of them
ara working in shipyards on the
xoast. One is a boss riveter. And
there is a whole smear of them over
in France. They're getting medals
over there for isomething besides
preaching. Eh, what?
Here is the Big Thing.
I think Powell missed the big
thing about these questionnaires.
They were sent to repuWjcans and
democrats alike. The question:
"What are your politics?" did not
appear. Evidently the government
thought the republicans were good
enough to fight. But Mr. Wilson,"
apparently, does not think they are
good enough to have places in the
war congress! Will some one tell
me why this is? n
You will have-to overlook my ig
norance. You see I am merely an
average loyal American. I still
claim the right to vote whatever
ticket I please and to vote for whom
I please for congress. !
I may have been misinformed, but
I thought that was what we were
fighting for!
Misplaced Generosity
Here is a case of misplaced gen
erosity. The guilty party meant
well, but her manner of showing
it wasn't what you might call tact
ful. It was at a bargain party
one of the pqrch kind and ice
cream and wafers were served.
"Miss Ghoans," urged the host
ess, "do have some more ice cream."
"No, really, I "
"Oh", don't' Wuse, or I'll think
yoii don't like it."
"Well, if you'll just give me a
mouthful'
"Ah, that's right, Katie, fill Miss
Ghoan's plate for her."
Miss Ghoans . is sensitive about
her generous mouth and she was so
angry that she telephoned to us
about it with the request that we
put it in the paper. Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
7
Omaha Doctor Under Fire
in American Offensive
Letters from Lt. J. S. Alexander,
U. S. A., written to his wife in
Omaha, tell of meetings with many
Nebraska and Iowa soldiers at and
near the tront and ot experiences
under fire in the hospitals.
The first letter, written Septem
ber 18, describes scenes immediately
following a successful allied drive.
"I made a trip up the line that was
actually occupied by the boche last
week," he writes. "Found three
doctors from one of the field hospi
tals walking around, so I got a car
and took them with me. One was
Lt. Howard Lilienthal, one of the
greatest chest surgeons in the
world. We drove up in the trenches
and explored, the dugouts together.
On the way back I stopped at Mo
bile Hospital No. 1, under the com
mand of Maj. Donald Macrae, of
Council Bluffs. He took me through
his hospital, which is the most
complete one of its kind in France,
They have mostly boche wounded
there now. He had the same- outfit
on the Chateau-Thierry front and
handled over 5,000 cases of seriously
wounded there. In this drive there
were less than 100 cases.
"In another hospital last night I
met Capt. C. E. Foote of Hastings,
Neb.
"To return to the German lines,
I saw all kinds of dugouts, hewn
out of solid rock, built up with heavy
timbers and lighted with electricity.
One place was a little palace, built
of concrete, with walls five . feet
thick, with full' length mirror, 'good
furniture and nice places to sleep,
and a mess hall for the officers
which would do credit to any home,
with pictures on the walls, cur
tained windows overlooking a beau-
tiful valley, flower boxes and plenty
of everything except playing cards,
for the deck they left in their hasty
retreat was worn and dirty.
"The last three nights here have
been lovely with moonlight, but
these moonlight nights are, full of
horror, for the Hun planes have
been .flying low over our camp, but
they don t seem to bother us much.
The anti-aircraft guns open up as
soon as they come near, and as they
shoot shrapnel and high explosives
directly over our camp, it is to our
interest to wear our steel helmets,
for all that goes up must come
down.
"The night of the big drive I ad
mit I was some nervous and did not
have my clothes off for three days
and nights, but now I can sleep any
place not -that I'm any braver, but
I need the sleep."
In a letter dated October 3, Dr.
Alexander v says: "Rain and cold.
About three-quarters of the time
we are chilled to the bone but keep
well in spite of it all. I volunteered
aod spent two days and nights in a
dressing station under fire and feel
that I am rendering aid where it is
most needed. Have met Rev. Mr.
Calvert of the Benson Methodist
liiife Jotttmgqs io Kbagfaj Towns
II BELLEVUE, SARPY COUNTY
In our article last Sunday we re
ferred to Col. Peter A. Sarpy as one
of the prominent men identified with
the early days of this interesting
town whose history dates back to
the visit of Lewis and Clark, July
22, 1804
Sarpy exercised his dominating
personality in Bellevue, and also in
Burt county, for a period of 30
years, most of which time he passed
in ueiievue. His hrst appearance
in 1825, at the
age of 21, as clerk for John P. Ca-
banne at the latter s trading post
near Calhoun. He followed Ca
banne at Bellevue as manager for
the American Fur company. Born
in 1804 of French ancestry, he was
educated in St. Louis. His father
was Gregoire Sarpy, said to have
been the first man to attempt navi
gation of the Missouri river. He
was identified with the establish
ment of the towns of Tekamah and
Decatur in Burt county, where he
was associated with . Ben K. .rol
And so Jn fh rnurse nf a fw som and Stephen Decaturi IrU 1854
very few minutes he is dropped at ! he was a member of the -town com
the station. - - Pat,y which platted ' Bellevue, and
..The long' gray roadster slides I h j?iedf in Plattsmouth, January 4,
. .around the corner, darts up town a 18.6?.. after a career of 40 years
few blocks, crosstown a few block!
v,'; more, turns into an alley and stops
behind a soft drink parlor.
Almost in a twinkling one hun
,'dred And seventy-five (175) pints
are removed from the spacious cov
" ered rear . of the car. . . .
" A florid man wearing a red neck
; - tie. and awhite apron approaches
the driver and stiacs out his lower
jaw.,' . , V
. "Lookeye here, you gotta make
better time than this. " The boys has
been hanging 'round ( here with
i their tongues out fer an hour. They
had a hard night Saturday at the
. Social club, and a bad day yistiday
at the Literary 'sociation a'nd some,
of 'em will be late to work because.
they had to wait fer their mornin's
'tmornin'. You-gotta do better than
. The driver seemed hurt
.... I had to pick up a
, "Sure, the old. stall, the old stalL effects across the Missouri. He
- Let 'em . walk, I ttH ye, let 'em also establisbed Traders' Point, an
walk. We ain't runnin' no detec-i other station opposite Bellevue.
ative Ur V. J During 1847 Brigham Young and a
which was not surpassed by any
Nebraskan of his time,
A- E, Sheldon of the . Nebraska
State Historical society refers to
Sarpy as the first permanent white
settler in this state. Manuel de Lisa
probably was the first white settler,
but his residence was more transi
tory than permanent.
Known as "White Chief."
He possessed a commanding man
mer, was of fluent address, polished
and refined in the presence of worn-,
en, and was known as "White
Chief" by the Indians, with whom
he had many dealings. Ni-co-mi of
the Iowas was. his" Indian wife, v
r Before the gold rush in '49 he es
tablished a station across from Bel
levue,' known at "St Mary," long
since washed away by the action of
the river. During 1849 he operated
i a fprrv between St. Marv and Rl-
''Well, : levue and had a lively business,
I transporting gold seekers 'and their
J
I " ; -
w ' v
. PETER A. SARPY.
(From an old daguarootyp taken In 1865
at Council Bluffs. Ia.)
party of Mormons reached Traders'
Point, en route to Salt Lake City.
Their hunger and destitution were
relieved by Sarpy, who was as will
ing to assist those in distress as he
was to negotiate an advantageous
business, deal. The famous Mormon
leader remained several months and
a close friendship was formed be
tween himself and Sarpy.
Bellevue an Indian Trading Station.
, Traders' Point was established
principally for the whites, while the
trading station at Bellevue was for
the Indians. In ' 1853 Traders'
Point was abandoned and St. Mary
was opened 'four miles down river.
The latter trading station became
an important place for miners and
plainsmen. "Highland Mary," was
the name of the first ferry boat op
erated across the river, and during
the next year a better boat, "Ne
braska No. 1." was out into service.
In J856 the Nebraska was in serv-
t r u. l f-..;T
ice ociwccn vuiaua aim vuuuvi
Bluffs.
T. M. Carter, the founder of Blair,
f few weeks ago recalled meeting
Sarpy at St. Mary while on his way
from the east to Nebraska to settle.
Carter had traveled by stage from
St. Joseph, Mo., and was 17 days on
the way. Arriving at St. Mary, he
stated, Sarpy wished to show his
hospitality by offering the cup that
cheers, which was the general cus
tomof those early days.
Fontenelle Built. Trading Post.
Sarpy acquired a strong friend
ship with the 'Fontenelles. Lucien
Fontenelle, father of the famous chief
of the Omahas, built the trading
post at Bellevue, which afterwards
was occupied by Sarpy. The late
Henry T. Clarke, remembered . by
many Omahans, related that Sarpy's
trading post was located one-half
mile north of the railroad depot.
Sarpy is said to have assisted Logan
Fontenelle obtain the chieftaincy of
fhe Omahas and otherwise advised
and helped his friend for whom the
Fontenelle otel in Omaha was
Jiamd. .1 .
' t. ri- r r- i a ?
J-i. jonn . rremont, American
explorer, soldier and topographical
engineer, while on his expedition,
became intimately acquainted with
Sarpy, from whom he received sub
stantial assistance in the work to
which he had been commissioned.
Bruno Tzschuck. who was an em
ploye of Sarpy for several years, in
a memoir," wrote that the famous
pioneer was a man of remarkable
vigor and endurance, a keen busi
ness man, kind to his 'employes, of
courteous and polished manners and
convivial on occasions.
Sarpy as a Politician.
"Rls knowledge of the Indian
character, gamed by a lifetime spent
in the west, was not surpassed by
any of his associates throughout the
Indian country," he wrote. Also:
"He came to Omaha orj the occa
sion of the first legislature, as a
contestant" for a seat in that body,
but the adoption ofMr. Poppleton's
resolution to not go behind the cer
tificates of election, issued by Act
ting Governor Cuming, shut him
out. On that occasion he appeared
in all the glory , of semi-civilized
garb, and with an abundance of re
volvers and bovHe knives, which
weapons were assumed more for the
effect than with a view of antici
pated need. Sarpy had no. chiJdreu
church, who is doing a great work
here with the Yiung Men's Chris
tian association. Also received a
card from the Rev. Mr. Clark of the
Child Saving Institute, who has
charge of several thousand children
here. He expects to stay here two
years after the war is over. Have
not been able to see him, as the
distance is too great"
Own Your Own Home.
AT THE CPST PRICE OF fSO.000.1
, FREEHOLD.
By rder ( th Trustee of tho UU Nor
, man Watney,
deed.
THE VALENCE ESTATE.
, WESTERHAM (KENT),
lovely iltuatlon in well-wooded country,
447 ACRES, one of the most charming-
RESIDENTIAL PROPERTIES
within an hour of th Metropolis. The
Mansion commands beautiful views, and
contains lounge hall, dining, drawing,
billiard, morning and sun rooms. II-
brary. study, upper lounge, school
room, conservatory, 25 bed and dressing
tooms, three bath rooms, ' domestic of
fices, and dairy, etc.; stabling and mod
el farm buildings; pleasure grounds,
ornamental lakes and stream with trout
fishing; finely-timbered' park. rich
meadow, arable lands, woods and plan
tations, and productive kitchen gar
dens. London Times.
ENJOYING "OTHER PEOPLE'S
SORROWS.
We overheard a young woman on
a street car: '
"Oh, I feel so sorry for them,"
she chattered. "First her mother
and now Irene, and her father's sick
too. I just feel so sorry 1 This is
an awful day to die, too, so dark and
rainy. And just think of going out
to the cemetery, how hard that'll be
on them! Oh.yl feel so sorry for
them! It's a good thing they bought
a whole lot instead pf a single grave,
because now they'll have three
graves, I believe, right off the bat!
Oh, I feel so sorry for them!"
TO THE KAISER. .
A good macnine gun underneath a
bough, - t
A hand grenade, a bayonet and thou
Standing before me in the wilder
ness; Ah, wilderness were paradise enow,
FUNNIES.
An elderly couple, evidently from
the country, walking down Fa mam
street, hand in hand this was the
"funny" thing we observed t'other
day. Also an 8-year-old girl afraitl
to go in the revolving door at the
First National Bank building. ,
CANDIDATES. ATTENTION!
With Neville advertising himself
as Nebraska s War Governor, why
not get in on it, too. Sample: "Voe
for Thomas O'Connor, Douglas
County s War County Commis
sioner," "Vote for John M. Fitz
gerald, Omaha's War Police Magis
trate."
WE KNOW 'EM.
Suppose we granted the Germans
an armistice, can't you just imagine
them, a few months hence, laughing
at us, as they treacherously hurled
our forces back with the new armies
which they would have ready by
then? The kaiser, Hindenburg, Lu
dendorf, Tirpitz and all the rest of
the bloody, remorseless, Deutsch-
land-ueber-Alles tribe are not to be
trusted for one minute.
THE LIGHT THAT FAILED.'
Alvin H. Wick and his wife, whose
maiden name was Bertha Lamp, are
negotiating for a divorce in the dis
trict court She says that Wick de
serted her in 1916. Naturally the
love-light died when the Wick left
the Lamp. v
CLEVER'S THE WORD.
"I was on the train three days
and nights and was a perfect wreck
when I got here," a young woman
was telling Polly the Shopper, on
her return from California. You
were a train wreck, so to apeak,"
murmured Polly
DAN'sTviGIL.
"Setting the clock back an hour
is all right but why don't they do it
at a decent hour? I was all tired
out last Sunday after sitting up till
2 o'clock in the morning to turn the
clocks back," says Dan Butler.
' Buya
The lapel button manufacturers
must be making all kinds of excess
profits these days
and was never married to a white
woman, though he had an Indian
wife for whom he always cherished
a high regard. He was of French
parentage, about five and one-half
feet in height, strongly built, re
markably active and famous far and
near for his bravery and determina
tion." ,
Rather a Poor Financier.
Rev. Samuel Allis, who arrived in
Bellevue in 1834, under Presbyter
ian auspices, wrote of Sarpy as fol
lows: "He possessed some excellent
qualitis and traits of character, al
though sometimes rough and un
couth; was a high-toned gentleman,
who exercised a great influence
among the whites as well as the In
dians. He was particularly gener
ous to white men of distinction and
wealth, also to the Indians when it
paid well; but exacted every penny
of his hired men and others who
earned their living by labor. Still,
he was generous to the .needy. He
was active and persevering in the
transactions of various kinds of
business, employed considerable
capital in Indian and other trade,
but was often wronged by . his
clerks, who vexed him. For a busi
ness man with a large capita, he
was rather a poor financier."
In 1854 Bellevue, which was tnn
in Douglas county, was the scene
of much activity. The town at that
time was of more importance than
Omaha, and the residents cherished
fond hopes of having the state cap
ital within their grasp. The fourth
of July celebration- of that year has
never been excelled in that com
munity. Francis Burt, appointed by
President Pierce to serve as first
governor of Nebraska territory, ar
rived in Bellevue on October 7,
1854, after an arduous journey from
the south. He subscribed to the
oath ofbffice before Judge Fenner
Ferguson, served two days and
died. During his illness the gov
ernor was moved to the Presbyte
rian mission by Rev. William Ham
iltoni'and jvas given attendance by
Sarpy and Stephen Decatur.
Omaha Made State Capital.
The plans of Governor Burt, to
call the first session of the new leg
islature in Bellevue, and to have the
town named as the permanent state
capital, were adversely affected by
subsequent events.' The legislative
session was called at Omaha by
Governor Cuming, who succeeded
Burt, and Omaha enjoyedthe dis
tinction of being the capital'for a
while. The Central high school of
Omaha is li-M-.m Car-,fl hill,
lite of the (onnvr state capi'.ol
building. Governor, Cuming's proc
lamation of December 20, 1854, to
call the legislature in Omaha, was
followed by an indignation meeting
in Bellevue. Nebraska City and
Brownville were also contenders for
the honor. Bellevue claimed it by
reason of priority of settlement and
Omaha won it by superiority of in'
fluence. 1
Rev. William Hamilton wrote the
following account of the famous
capital controversy: "In the early
settlement of Nebraska there was
much excitemenc and some blood
shed, but the greatest excitement
was about the locatjbn of the capi
tal, as on that depended the future
wealth of many, as they supposed.
Had Governor Burt lived, it was his
intentions to examine the country,
and then place the tapital where it
would be the most beneficial to the
territory, not to the individual or to
himself, though he was a poor man
and in debt. I suppose I was bet
'ter acquainted with him than any
others, except those who came with
him to the territory.
Burt Killed by His Kindness.
"He was remarkable for his kind
ness of heart and his sterling in
tegrity, as those who came with him
testified, and as I could bear wit
ness, too, as far as I knew him. His
kindness led him to listen tf the
proffered advice of those who came
to consult about their own interests,
when he should have enjoyed per
fect quietness. His state of health
required this, but the people would.
not let him rest. 1 might also say
that he was worried to death. I
feared the Consequences from the
first, but caution was of no avail to
those who hoped to ge.t rich by his
deciding according to their wishes.
The end came, and it does not seem
a harsh judgment to say that by
some it did not seem to be regret
ted. After, his death, and before
the body had been taken from the
mission, plans were made to place
the capital at Bellevue. These plans
were talked oyer in the room where
the cora.se was lying. The talk
was intended to be blind, but I un
derstood it well enough."
History relates that Rev. Mr.
Hamilton refused to consent to giv
ing 100 acres of the Presbyterian
mission lands in consideration for
the location of the capital at Bel
levue, after the Bellevue Land
Claim association had premised lib
erally. ,
Baptist Locate First Church.
The earliest protestant church
history of the state is dated at Bel
levue. Rev. Moses Merrill arrived
in Bellevue on November 19, 1833,
having been sent by the Baptist
Missionary society to preach among
the Otoes. At that time Bellevue
was 200 miles from the nearest
white settlement. Elder Merill died
in Bellevue on February 6, 1840. His
son, the late Samuel Pearce Mer
rill, one of the first natives of Ne
braska, was born, in Bellevue July
13, 1834, and7ie died in California
two years ago. Six years ago he
visited Dr. W. F. Milroy of Oma
ha. During the second year of his
residence in Bellevue Elder Mer
rill moved his mission to a point
four miles west of the present rail
road depot of La Platte, and not far
from Bellevue, the site subsequently
being known as the John F. Payne
farm and at a later date as the
Adam Mohr farm. Remnants of the
mission are still visible. Rev. Moses
Merrill endeared himself to the
Otoes, whom he joined on their
hunting trips.
Rev. WflTTam Hamilton began his
work" June 6, 1853, erecting the first
mission house for the Omaha In
dians. He was sent to this field by
the Presbyterian board of foreign
missions. He continued his labors
in Bellevue after the Omahans went
to. their reservation north of De
catur in 1855. The Presbyterian
church now in use in Bellevue was
his pastorate until 1865. This
church is said to- be the oldest
church of its denomination in Ne
braska. "Father" Hamilton, as he
was sometimes referred to, died in
Decatur during 1891.
First Newspaper in the State.
IT.I lt-
V iNeorasxas nrsi newspaper ' was
"The Nebraska Palladium," which
appeared at Bellevue on July 15,
1854. .p. E. Reed was editor and
proprietor, and Thomas Morton set
the first type. Morton afterwards
wept to Nebraska City and became
proprietor of The -News of that
town.- The Palladium was a weekly
publication. Indians peered through
an open door while Governor and
Mrs. Cuming received the first proof
sheet. An item in the Palladium of
November 13, 1854,referred to the
arrival of J. Sterling Morton, con
tributor of the Detroit Free Press.
Another item was an advertisement
of Henrv T. and Artemus Clarke, as
forwarding merchants, steamboat
agents and dealers in lumber and
staple foods. Henry T. Clacke'i in
terest in Bellevue was keen up to
the time of his death in Omaha a
few years ago. The name of Clarke
was closely identified with the life
of "Bellevue for half a century.
MAGGIE'S MEDITATIONS
When a man
tells his wife to
stay away from
4 his office, be sure
he has not lost his;
eye for feminine
beauty. '
mat oia gag
about a lodge
meeting still covers a multitude of
sins. "...
Don't worry about things frour
husband keeps' from you. They'll
come out without his help.
HoW About This?
v "You have to go east to get to
the 'western front," an observant
citizen states. Equally paradoxical
is the remarkable fact that "we
must back up our boys in order) to
keep them going forward." - -
. QUESTION.
-fighty decent of theJcaiser to of
fer to become a "hereditary presi
dent" of Germany. But does "gott
who, he says, made him emperor, ac
quiesce in this change?
BY REQUEST.
An elevator boy in a certain office
building wears so much and so cheap
perfume that persons riding in his
car, carefully breathing through
their nosies to avoid Mie- "flu," are
almost asphyxiated. This rising
young man also wears spats.
THE WARSITUATION;
Well, well, well! Old Man Hin
denburg resigned again in last Mon
day evening's paper. And Olcf Man
Ludendorft resigned in Monday
morning's dispatches. And Old Man
Rumor in Amsterdam. Berne and
Stockholm, didn't know whether
the kaiser (who has abdicated 19
times) woud accept the resignations
or not
LOST.
The German syndicate which
bought Baron' D Wendel's coal
and iron mines in Lorraine for $65,
000,000 must have money to throw
away.
TESY YOURSELF.
"The franchise, our priceless poa
session which makes us the iupremt
judges aj to who shall sit in author,
lty over us." By the way, can yotf
tell who are the republican and
democratic candidates for United
States senator, governor, lieuteuan( -governor,
secretary of state, attorv
ney general, state auditor, statt
treasurer, county treasurer, therifi
and county attorney? If you can
name five out of the 20, you win a
prize. , N
WE LIKENAPOLEON. '
We protest against comparing -the
kaiser in any way to Napo
leon, as some folks are doing nowa
days. Napoleon wai a gentleman
and a scholar.
Bill and Hank
Discuss War
While Scribe
Tries to Toil
Some grand little assignment-i
writing a feature yarn with a pill
of painter working over yoa
Did you ever hear a couple tj
painters work?
Here's a sample!
"Well, Bill, whea io yak thtoli
the war'll end?"
"It'll be a year or two yit, Hanfcf
easy a year or two. Why, dy thin?
these munition makers is going to '
let this waF end till they get theii f
govnment contracts filled? Not oa J "
yer life. Same ting in Germany.
Krupp's running that end ff . the
war. Do ye think he going to s
spdil his business to please the
kaiser or anybody else?, ItH be " '
two years, easy!"
"Well, I dunno; I dunno. My; .
wife's got a cousin over there, Bill,
and he says they'll be in Berlin
by spring.','
"An kw does he know, I att ye.
How does he know? He'a jest in -
the army, that's all. Wtrnt'i the
army fer? To shoot up the muni. .
tions, that's what. And when they
gits almost caught up on the con
tracts Wall street wires', acrost ' '
'Use 'em up, use 'em up; too many
shells accumalating. And they start
another offensive. That's what!" ,
Dab, dab not very 'hard dabs .
either. Just ordinary 4abs. Then;
"Had any oysters yit this season.
hBill,"
"Yes, an' I didn't tink much of
'em."v
"Jest what I thought; jest what I
thought Oysters ain't what they ,
use to be, Bill. I'm telling ye oys-
ters is chainging. Their shells is
softer, too."
"Sure ,' they're softer. Why
wouldn't they be softer? They's
no more albumin left in .the sea.
They're using'it all up to'make high
explosive shells. Oysters has got
to have albumin. Why I kin crack
these shells nowadays with my
teeth!"
Dab, dab.
Business of getting a -drink of
water. v
Business of taking a fresh chew.
"Prices is a fright now, Bill, ain't
they?"
"Highway robbery, plain and
simple. That's the trouble with
the country nowadays, it's full of
profiteers. .They're gettin' two
prices and a half of the third on
ever'ting. We git just enough ter
blccer to fill a holler tooth fer 7
cents maybe it's 8 by now, as I
ain't boughf any since 8 o'clock,
when I came down to work and
I'll tell ye they want this war to
keep up so. as they can keep gettin'
them high prices.
"Sure they do, Bill, sure they do.
And when they can't think of any
thing else to do they try to cut
the wages of a poor working man
as is gettin' only a measly $8 a day.
I'll tell ye a dollar a hour ain't v
enough fer this work."
"Course it ain't; cflurse it ain't
That's what"
Dab dab da
"Hold on, it's noon, BUM"
Now we'll try and write that
article. Let's , see; what was it
about? .. .
i
IV ftfl'S'TWll
