The Omaha Bee
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AUGUST CIRCULATION
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" The" BEE'S SERVICE FI.At.
. Perilling played "13" to the limit on his birth-fly.
A pair f patched trousers will also be a sign
lhat the wearer is doing something to help win
the war.
Another nation-wide slacker hunt is being or
ganiaed. Uncle Sam means to get the skulkers
if he can.
With MeU under American guns, it might
reasonably be said the way to the Rhine is being
well opened.
The Huns fled from St. Mihicl without de
stroying the town, a sure sign that they were sur
prised by Pershing. '
The weather man again promises showers.
He must not think he can scare anybody herea
bouts with such predictions.
Another German naval expert announces that
the U-boat will bring England to terms, but
wisely he declines to say when.
Putting the packers under federal food license
regulation, is not likely to seriously affect the
price of hogs, now well up to $20, and still going.
Wonder if the Berliner Tageblatt has discov
ered more than 40,000 Yankee soldiers on he
firing line yet? Ludendorff might enlighten that
editor.
Yon Falkenhayn and von Mackensen used to
enjoy the "pincer" game, but they were working
it on the Russians then. It is quite a different
thing now.
The New York World is disturbed because
Vardaman goes and La Follette remains in the
tenate. But wait until Wisconsin voters get an
other chance to clean house.
Several divisions lately employed by Luden
dorff in defending the Hindenburg line are now
regularly eating in prisoner cages. We know
; tbat these will not fight again in this war.
.."Why do the Americans want to annihilate
Germany?" querulously asks a titled lieutenant,
just taken prisoner. The answer is, we do not;
we merely want to destroy its power to harm
the world. ' . O '
Texas is a great, big state, but that does not
prevent its thinking people from worrying over
the fact that it has had 1,125 homicides within the
last two years. Human life is almost as cheap
there as in Russia.
The Nebraska State Railway commisison will
keep it up until the federal government takes
notice of its antics, and then it will receive a ben
ediction somewhat similar to that pronounced on
the bull who disputed the right-of-way with the
oncoming train.
President Interprets ''Work or Fight."
The president of the United States took ac
tion in connection with certain labor troubles that
will meet approval from all classes of citizens,
even those most affected when they return to
reason. To striking munition workers at Bridge
port, vConn., he gave the alternative of- resuming
work or preparing for speedy induction into the
army. To the owners of a big firearms factory
at Springfield, Mass., he gave notice that the
plant had been commandeered for the war period.
In both instances the trouble came over a wage
ward. Mr. ' Wilson plainly warns employers
and employes alike that no wage controversy
will be permitted tt interfere with the production
of material needed to win the war. "Work or
fight means exactly what it says, according to
the president's interpretation. Squabbling over
abstractions, bickering about details of payment
of wages and all similar' petty matters must get
outiof the way of the really big job we are en
gaged upon. ,
BOLSHEVIKI DECEPTION EXPOSED.
An interesting chapter of the war history is
being supplied by the federal government, which
has made public its proof of the bargain between
the bolshevik! and the German government. When
Lenine and Trotzky appeared in I'etrograd,
shortly after the revolution of March, 1917, the
charge that they were German agents was openly
made. Many events since that time have justi
fied this, and now positive proof of their treach
ery to the cause of freedom is at hand.
Many apologists for this precious pair have
arisen, in America and elsewhere, and they have
had extravagant praise as devoted anents of the
downtrodden. Kxtreme socialists have found in
them the incarnation of brotherhood and peace,
and sappy writers have glorified the puerile
proclamation of peace to the proletariat, sent
from I'etrograd after the Smolny Institute group
had captured the Winter Palace.
No people, avid for liberty, hopeful of its
blessings, ever was so shamelessly betrayed by
those it looked to for guidance. The ignorant,
superstitious inujik, accustomed to the resonant
eloquence of fanatical dreamers, hazily groping
for a firm hold on fundamentals, finds himself
delivered helpless to his worst enemy, a victim
of his credulity, and led to his own undoing by
the prophets who had promised ,him the mil
lennium. Germany proudly boasts of how Russia's mil
lions were brought to harmlessness as soldiers.
Even the kaiser has hinted that this was one
added proof of the valor of his army. Less may
be said hereafter in Berlin on this topic, now that
it is known to be but another triumph for the
crafty doubJdealing of the Potsdam gang, who
know no morals, nor honor, nor any sense of
truth. If such a thing were possible, another
blot of shame is thus added to the German
record of the war, already so black that this will
hardly he noticed in the smudges and smears that
have dishonored the kaiser's escutcheon.
Outdoing Attila in Deviltry.
Innate and exuberant savagery marked the
progress of the ancient Hun across Europe. At
tila boasted the grass never grew again where
his horse had passed. In the pride of his brutal
strength he destroyed all he could reach just as
far as he could. Butjie had his limitations, and,
therefore, his boast' was to a great degree merely
a figure of speech. His successors are making a
far more terrible record. Tli?y have advantages
Attila wot nothing of; he had no high explosives,
no modern enginery, and well-built walls defied
his strength, while woods and orchards waved
long after he had passed.
These things are easy to the present-day Ger
man. With cold-blooded, scientific purpose he
goes about to loot and then to raze the cities he
passes through. His .notions of rapine are
fundamental and thorough. "The abandonment
of this sector (north of theiOise) was prepared
with our customary care," says a dispatch from
the Wolff bureau, published in Berlin papers,
"and we have been able wihtout being interrupted
to take away from this region everything that
would be of any use to the adversary."
"Everything" means just that. Household
furniture, clothing, bric-a-brac, ornaments of any
kind, all the possessions of high or tow, have gone
in with the merchandise and similar loot, to be
hauled away to Germany, sorted and sold. When
that was done home and hovel, church and pal
ace, factory and storeroom were destroyed, de
liberately and completely. Military necessity did
not require it, nor did the act itself deter the pur
suing army to any advantage of the retreating
Germans. The world's history holds no parallel
for the wantonness that has marked the retire
ment of the invader from the region he held.
Attila suffers by comparison to the modern
missionaries of mischief.
Organization for Selling.
(One of the effects of the war will be to force
Americans to adopt a method of doing business
against which strong sentiment has long existed.
Co-operative selling must be the rule, in our ex
port trade at least, if we are to do business with
the French. Plans already laid there for the re
building of the region devastated by the Germans
involve co-operative buying. All reconstruction
will be under the guidance of the government,
which is to finance the operation. This necessi
tates group buying, because only so can raw ma
terials be properly distributed to the factories
that are to be started anew. Buying in such
quantities implies the necessity of selling organi
zation on an equal scale. We need uot especially
concern ourselves as to the details of the dis
tribution in France, but we must change $ur
present methods if we are to be prepared to prop
erly supply that trade. The thought is not a
new one, but had seriously been proposed before
the war, when our great exporters found them
selves at a decided disadvantage in dealing with
the Germans, who purchased through group
agency, and were able to play one American firm
against another until notable concessions were
gained." Business men have recognized the need,
but wait for congress to give permission to
properly meet it. It is one of the new conditions
that must be met, and which will entail extensive
modification of existing laws. Our common
sense ought to save us from continuing a blunder
ing policy to our own detriment.
War Inspired Music Trivial
Most of It Falls Short of Artistic Excellence
John Philip Sousa is said to be composing
an American weddmg mait-h to take the
place of the wedding marches of Mendels
sohn and Wagner. I dare say that the march
king will make a tolerable job, of it, and it
would not be surprising if the new genera
tion will find it agreeable to be married pa
triotically to the strains of a wedding march
with "made in the United States," on its
cover. But I fancy that some of us oldsters,
who were married to the decorative strains, of
Mendelssohn or the dramatic music of Wag
ner, will he .treasonable enough to continue
to hold these pieces in tender esteem! Most
people are married but once and the wedding
is an important occasion. Those who were
wedded to the music of the old nuptial
marches will have a liking for them for the
rest of their lives. The government can ban
German musio, it can make it a crime to
play Bach or Wagner. Beethoven, or Men
delssohn, but it cannot outlaw sentiment.
What will be the effect of this wa mu
sic? The glamour and the passion of battle
have been the musician's theme since the
triumpcts rang out for the hosts of Troy and
the buccina blared forth the Roman chal
lenge to Caradoc. Yet curiously enough few
set battle pieces are examples of the high
est art. .When, however, the composer rises
superior to jingoism and contemplates war
as Shakespeare contemplates it in "Othello"
then we get a masterpiece of the measure of
the "Eroica" symphony. Beethoven canceled
the dedication of the ork to Napoleon when
the first consul became the emperor. Never
theless the Corsican is its inspiration. It
stands for the hero's struggle against great
obstacles; it mourns his loss; it celebrates
his apotheosis. The protagonist of this piece
of symphonic weaving is no merely destruc
tive force, no Tamerlane or Genghis Khan,
but the upholder of the ideal, the triumphant
asserter of the moral order. It is a marvelous
tone portrait of a hero before his downfall.
It is impossible to believe that the man who
wrote this music, which someone has said is
like watching the fighting before Ilion
through the eyes of Homer, could, were he
alive, find inspiration for another ''Eroica"
in the deeds of a von Hindenburg or a Lu
dendorff. But to what musical heights would not
Frederic Chopin ascend were he on earth to
day? When the news reached him of the
downfall of his native Poland he was over
whelmed. But what he suffered in heart and
mind he expressed in music. Within a few
days he had composed the most insurrectory
document that the art of music has, ever
brought forth. It is the "Revolutionary"
etude. It is volcanic, eruptive, and the
rhythmic undersong is as .stern as the youth
ful Hannibal's oath of undying enmity
against Rome.
How the soul of Frederic Chopin would
be torn were he on earth today I The rape
and ravage of Belgium, the wolfing of Po
land, the mutilation of France what passion
ate music of hate these enormities would in
spire in the heart and soul of the Pole. Like
Raemakers, the Hun long since would have
put a price on his head.
Patriotism ha ever been an inspirer of
music; and music, in turn, has ever been the
begetter of patriotism. All the king's horses
and all the king's men could not stop the
singing of the "Wearing of the Green." The
despotism and the tyranny of the house of
Hapsburg could not banish the "Rakaczy"
inarch from Hungary. History proves that
song may put into the heart of the patriot
that which makes tyrants tremble. "With
that tune and 20,000 men I could conquer the
world," exclaimed Robert Emmet when
Moore played him "Let Erin Remember."
Whatever the horrors of the Reign of Terror,
the song of liberty that Rouget de Lisle sang
in the early days of the French revolution is
like the insurgency of dawn against the op
pression of darkness.
Very little is known regarding the mili
tary airs that h ave become associated with
various regiments. In both American and
British regmients the old Irish air, "The Girl
I Left Behind Me,'' is invariably played when
a regiment is quitting a post. "The Camp
bells Are Coming," heard far in the distance
by a little girl, announced the joyous tidings
of the relief of Lucknow. All we know is
that since man first fought man the inspiring
effect of martial music has been recognized.
The various varieties of horn were much in
evidence at the battle of Hastings, and tam
bours and drums figured largely in the inspi
ration of the Crusaders. Without its bag
pipes a Scotch regiment would lose much of
its uesfulness. Kettledrums and rifles were
allotted to every hundred soldiers in the six
teenth century, and Shakspeare refers to the
fifer in "The Merchant of Venice" when he
speaks of the "vile squealing of the wry-
J. N. R. in Rochester Post-Express.
necked fife." In the year 1797, or thereabout,
the beats and calls of the drum were insti
tuted; the tattoo calling soldiers to their
quarters was once called "taptoo" from the
Dutch word signifying no more drinks to be
sold or tapped. The first regimental band
appeared in 1787, in the Woolwich regiment.
It was made up of five clarionets, two French
horns, one bugle horn, one trumpet, tw? bas
soons, one bass drum, two triangles anu two
tambourines. Regimental marches, used not
only to stimulate courage, but also to "insure
the orderly advance of troops," date from the
middle of the seventeenth century. One of
these marches is still played by the Welsh
regiments' taking part in the world war "The
March o' the Men o' Larlech."
This is military music. Field music is the
music of the bugle by itself. In the artillery
and cavalry drils the voice of the bugle is
heard continually above the clanking sabres
and wheels and the clatter of hoots. Each
evolution is designated by its special call, and
the men and the horses, too, for that mat
ter need no further word -of command. In
the infantry the spoken command is used
more than in the artillery and rlie cavalry,
but the bugle is used also. Just when the
commands came to be signaled by. trumpet
and drum is rather indefinite. The innova
tion came gradually, beginning first, army offi
cers think, with those ringing calls to an
nounce the charge and the retreat, commands
that obviously could not be heard above the
roar of battle. One of the most beautiful
bngle calls I hear it every evening from the
Presidio at Monterey is the "Retreat" the
sunset retreat; not the retreat that calls sol
diers from the field of battle. It is played
at dress parade just before the flag flutters
from the masthead. The call dates back to
the time when the memory of man runneth
not to the contrary. It has been traced to
the First Crusade. The French army adopted
it for its cavalry. We use it both in the
army and the navy. In the latter arm of the
service the call is known as "Evening Col
ors." The original of our "Boots and Saddles"
was the Boute-selle, first published in Ant
werp in 1545. Our call is an amplification of
the original. Our own tattoo was taken
partly from the French and partly from that
used in the British army. The first few bars
constitute the French call, "Lights Out"
Napoleon's favorite call. In 1867 our bugle
calls changed, those of the French infantry
being transferred to our service, almost in
their entirety. Musicians say thr.t these calls
cannot be improved upon. The most beau
tiful, the most poignant of all the calls,
"Taps," originated in our own army. At
least, investigation has never proved other
wise. It is sounded over the grave of gen
eral and private alike. Once heard, it lingers
forever in the memory.
Epic of the Doughnut
To the story of the triumph of American
arms on the western front has been added
another that should cause the breast of every
true patriot to swell with pride. In a' land
where gastronomic fame is unrivalled, a land
that has produced more accomplished chefs
and a greater number of sauces, ragouts, en
trees and desserts than any other, the
doughnut, indigenous to our soil, has estab
lished itself as the soldier's favoeite delicacy.
It may be that this homely cake will prove
the pioneer of a great movement to introduce
and acclimatize the entire school of American
cookery. In fancy one can see a great pro
cession of our native dishes marching upon
the great stronghold of French gastronomy,
with pork and beans, properly cooked with a
little molasses, at their head. Following in
close succession are baked Indian pudding,
with its inimitable flavor, corn bread, light
and crisp; smoked beef fn cream, clam
chowder and fritters, green corn on the cob
and dozens of others almost as palatable.
The European nations know more about
us now than ever before. As a race of fight
ing men and brave, unselfish women our fame
is established, but they have yet to learn of
our achievements in the field that France
calls her own. New York Herald.
Mr. Roosevelt's Prize Money
Mr. Roosevelt's distribution of the Nobel
peace prize money, which congress recently
returned to him, is. characteristic. He real
izes how small, comparatively speaking, the
total sum is if measured by the necessities of
the time; and' so he selects, not One or two
war activities for remembrance, but a very
inclusive list, with the view of appreciating
and encouraging all. The Red Cross, the
Young Men's Christian association, the Sal
vation Army, the Knights of Columbus and
the Jewish Welfare board are among the
more obvious of these. But Mr. Roosevelt's
sympathies have so wide a range that he
does not forget the needs of Belgium, Ser
bia, Roumania. Armenia, the victims of Ger
man cruelty in France, the Russians, the
Czecho-Slovaks, and a large number of more
or less personal enterprises in which war
workers are engaged. More welcome to
these, in a sense, than the money will be the
evidence that the former president of the
United States is an ardent upholder of the
causes they represent. Philadelphia Ledger.
People and Events
Put your dollar through the hole of the
doughnut.
Army shoes are not of the bargain counter
brand in price. The latest contract for new
footwear calls for $7.15 a pair.
Thirty-five million Americans carry life in
surance totaling $60,000,000,000. The busi
ness doubled in a little over a year. These
official figures emphasize the development
of protective thrift in the United States.
Advance couriers of the fourth Liberty
loan expect to rally 20,000,000 subscribers in
three weeks. The going is particularly good
abroad. The speed of the home folks in dig
ging up must not be less, but more, and then
some.
Gasless Sundays east of the Mississippi
river stages a startling quietness along coun
try highways and city streets. Voluntary
observance of the day markedly increased
attendance at churches and left millions of
gallons of gas unused in the tanks. Success
of the gasless Sunday in the east suggests an
early tryout west of the big river.
While the matter carries only a reminis
cent interest hereabouts, it is worth while
noting that the order shutting down all the
remaining breweries in the country Decem
ber 1 throws a pall of gloom over political
workers in the wet belt. A severe shrinkage
in the volume of campaign filnds impends.
The brewers, of course, will not chip in as
usual. Unless new sources of oil are tapped
the machines face a season of nerve-racking
friction.
Down in southwestern Iowa, where ex
empts or "conscientious objectors" of the
Amish sect drifted in for farm work, resident
farmers have entered an emphatic objection.
They will have none of them and have
warned the newcomers to seek other fields.
The policy of the War department in grant
ing exemption on sectarian grounds and at
the same time drafting farmers does not look
like a square deal to farmers on the spot, and
they decline the exchange.
One Tear Ago Today in the War.
Sweden stopped transmission of
German messages.
General KorniloS waa arrested on
order of Kerensky.
United States senate) passed the
$11,538,000,000 war bond bill.
TUe Day We Cetebrat.
I. S. Hunter wholesale fruit jobber
with A. U. Chany & Co., born 1855.
William Howard Taft, former presi
dent of the United tates, born in Ctn
cati. SI years ago.
- Prince of Piedmont. hIr to the
Italian throne, , who has received his
baptism of fire In the present war,
born ta Rome, 14 years ago.
William Strother Smith, one of the
new rear admirals of the United
States navy, born in Georgia, 61 years
ago. .. ..: .
. This Day to Hisuoy. - - '
1C1S Duke de La Jtochfoucauld
who left the world a valuable set of
maxims, born in Paris. Died there,
March 17, 1680. , .
1789 James Fenlmore Cooper, the
first great American novelist, born at
Burlington, N. J. Died at Coopers
town. K. Y., September 14, 1851.
1867 Brigham Young proclaimed
martial law in Utah.
1884 Celebration of the centenary
of the first balloon ascent in England.
1914 The French cathedral city of
Xtheims was occupied by the allies.
1915 British House of Commons
voted a 11,250,000,000 war credit
Just SO Years Ago Today
Ralph W. Breekenridge took his de
parture for Burlington, Vt., where he
is to be married to Miss Harriet A.
Allen.
The Ladies Aid society of the West
minster Presbyterian church, gave a
"Sunflower" sociable at the comfort
able home of Mrs. W. Randall, 820
Park avenue.
Mr. and Mrs. Julius Nagel . cele
brated their wooden wedding anniver.
sary and a large number of city offi
cials and other well known citizens
were in attendance.
Capt C. E. Brunner returned from
Chicago.
Miss Stella Hamilton has gone to
South Bend, Ind to enter Notre Dame
acadamy. - .
Miss Mabel Porter left for Knox
yllle, 111 where she will enter St
Mary's school
Signposts oj Progress
Experiments have shown that good
paper can be made of grapevine.
Operated by a water motor, an ele
vator has been invented for moving
heavy objects up and down stairs in
residences.
A new electric spotlight for auto
mobiles projects a strong beam of
light for 500 feet, surrounded by a
cone of diffused rays.
Receipts of the Internal Revenue
bureau show that as the war pro
gresses Americans are spending less
on travel and more on amusements.
It has been demonstrated that
platinum wire may be drawn so fine
as to be invisible to the naked eye,
although its presence , upon a . card
can be detected by the touch.
A new receiver for wireless mes
sages, which will hear stations 10
miles away, is but little larger than
a fountain pen and transmits sounds
when one end is inserted into a per
son's ear.
The state supreme court has ruled
that where a Colorado employer sends
a worker outside the state as part of
his . employment, and the worker is
killed. dependents can collect com
pensation benefits.
The telescribe, an instrument Vhlch
records both sides of a conversation,
Is said to be Thomas Edison's latest
invention The telescribe consists of
a dictating machine which has special
receiving appliances and a socket in
which the ordinary telephone receiver
is placed. The message may be con.
firmed at any time by use of the die.
tating machine.
Whittled to a Point
Baltimore American: We shall be
disappointed if we do not learn that
some of our brave colored troops par
ticipated in the capture of Ham.
Cleveland Plain Dealer: A German
general says that if the British dictate
peace, the fatherland will be Wiped
off the map. And what a wonderful
thing a nice, clean map will be!
New York World: When General
Bernhardi wrote Germany and the
Next War he did not foresee that
Marshal Hals was to beat out of him
a large part ef his personal interest
in the subject. ,
Brooklyn Eagle: In melting up the
statues of dead kings the Prussians
and the Bavarian show a lamentable
misunderstanding of things. It's the
living monarch that should be tackled
and pulled down. He is the cause of
all misfortunes.
- Louisville Courier-Journal: Bryan,
speaking to 300 persons at Hot
Springs. Ya., i offers sane advice:
"Give implicit support to everything
the government demands." Doing so
will insure a quick end of the war; a
quick return to old-fashioned Ameri
canism. Minneapolis Tribune: Talaat Pasha
says "there is no sense in continuing
the hostilities." There was no sense
in beginning them, but they will be
continued, we hope, until that bloody
beast in Constantinople is stood up
before a firing squad. To him, with
the sanction of the kaiser, are to be
charged the Armenian outrages and
wholesale massacres..
Odd Bits oj Life
Ten per cent of the entire popula
tion of Massachusetts, or 300,000 peo
ple of voting age, are unable to read
or write English.
The natives of New Guinea are the
shortest-lived people In the world,
which is attributed to their diet of
the larvae of certain beetles and their
practice of drinking sea water.
Official reports made by some na
tional banks in the northwest to the
controller of the currency show that
many bank dtrecfors in that section
cannot write their names and so use
a mark.
Because he had Invented a paper
sack for potatoes, the manager of a
British textile engineering firm re
ceived six months' exemption from
army service. Germany has been
making paper sacks for years.
James A. Garfield, then a member
of congress, addressing an excited
crowd in New York the morning after
Abraham Lincoln's assassination,
used the phrase, "God reigns and the
government at Washington still
lives."
Amasa Morse, an elder in the Ad
ventist church at Stafford Springs,
Conn., who died recently at 104 years,
taught school when a young man and
outlived all his pupils. He preached
in Adventist churches over half a cen
tury. A curious tree stands on the top
of Tunnel Hill, Johnstown, Pa, about
four miles from town. It is a sugar
maple about 100 years old which has
prolonged its own life by grafting, a
branch into a much younger tree.
Around the Citws
Sioux City plans to put over its
share of the fourth Liberty loan in 24
hours. Watch the Indians do it.
One year of war economies reduced
by one-third the volume of alcoholic
cases treated in the hospitals of New
York City.
Washington cops pulled off a ball
game a week ago Saturday and pulled
down $14,000 for the police pension
fund. It wasn't a world series game,
either, but the box office looked it.
Pending a final court" decision on
the 6-cent fares in Kansas City, Mo.,
the company is required to impound
the excess pennies and give ejrery pas
senger a receipt for a cent.
It would cost perhaps $20,000,000
to make Chicago ratproof, according
to experts, who also figure that the
principal would be saved in three
years by the reduction of rat depreda
tions. Haltlmore is training battalions of
its high school boys for the task of as
sisting in gathering the hue apple
crop ripening in the surrountiinK
country. That's a job at which a live
boy will shine. Working and munch
ing pippens at the same time radiates
a grade of joy that is in a class by
itself.
Back in Cleveland the marriage li
cense clerk experienced a land office
rush of business during the first three
days of the week. Some smooth work
ers circulated the notion that mar
riage buttressed exemption claims, and
eligible registrants swallowed the bait.
Did the girls boost the report? Perish
the thought.
In anticipation of the drouth in beer
and whisky, municipal financiers of
the big cities are figuring on prospec
tive losses. If the worst comes, New
York City stands to lose $18,000,000 a
year in liquor licenses and taxes. Chi
cago will suffer a revenue loss of
about $8,000,000. How he'se deficits
are to be made good perplexes the
tax gathers.
"Boil the shaving brushes!" warns
the Minneapolis Board of Health.
Wartime brushes are made of horse
hair with an outside layer of badger
hair. In the view of the board this
combination may carry germs of
anthrax. "Boil the new brushes in a
10 per cent solution of formalin," says
the board. "The solution should be
110 degrees hot and the brush should
remain in it four hours."
Councilman W. R. Hamilton of
Sioux City, one of the reformers elect
ed last spring, has reformed himself
out of the job. Local courts put the
"ex" before his title. Hamilton had
charge of the police department and
conducted a series of raids which dis
credited his sense of resnonsibilltv.
Me Vegarded the job as a sort of a
picnic, and now senses the morning
after feeling.
GOING WITHOUT.
MIRTHFUL REMARKS.
"Tour mother ta putting down bar foot
bard at you for taktns another halplnf of '
iuar." s
"Oh, ; aha alwaya doea that whan ona '
thlnka wa taka too much. Wa call thai
mother's tariff stamp." Baltimore Amaru ,
tan.
That novl has had a remarkable sale,"
sotninnnted the bookstore man. ?
"Have you read It?"
"Oh, no, I wouldn't dare read It. aa ml
autlea require ma to be enthuslaatlo In raw
ommendlnf It to customers." Brooklyi
Citizen.
iBaeon What do yu think of this work-er-(iKht
order?
Egbert I think It's all right.
"And do you think the unemployed will
irork?"
"No, I think they'll fight against work
ng." Yonkers Statesman.
I have an Idea for a aummer novel.'
"ThHt seems Inconsistent."
Huh?"
"How can it be a summer novel If yo.
put an Idea into It?" Louisville Courier
Journal. "I know a man who sticks to his bust,
ness. although he has had nothing but re
verses since he enlwred It."
"What does he do?"
"Turns somersaults In a vaudeville acre
butlc team.'' Baltimore American.
Tommy Pop. what is an optimist?
Tommy's Pop An optimist, my son, to I
person who not only hopes for the best, bul
actually expects to get It. Phlladelpbli
Record.
"The world owea ma a living."
"Mister, nowadays that ta all changad,
Tou owe the world a year or two in fh4
trenches." Detroit Free Press.
"Drink to ma only with thine ajea."
murmured the romantic maiden.
"wen, nere a looaing ai you. - rspuea 101
practical youth. Life.
"Th ' rnvernmant aeema to ba ffettlnl
results." -'"
"In some respects," replied the million,
aire. "It's got that son-in-law of mine N ,
work; something I could never do."-
Browning's Magazine.
All this eating's Just a habit anyway.
Just a practice we've become accustomed
to.
When they take away some victual
Or restrict us to a little,
We surprise them, our objections are so
few.
We're discovering that many things we had,
Prime essentials, necessaries, " as we
thought.
Are the merest, passing trifles,
Simply naught compared with rifles.
What a divers lot of changes war has
wrought!
Once we knew the Inner meaning of dessert
And demanded loaves containing only
wheat.
Now when shortages are bristling
Everywhere, we keep on whistling
And go out and hustle something else to
eat.
When they ask us to go slow on pork or
beef,
When they say the sugar's scanty In the
bin,
Then we turn to boiled potatoes
Camouflaged with canned tomatoes,
For with most of us It's anything to win.
We grow friendlier, more cheerful all the
while.
Though the rations seem to shorten every
day.
Once our appetites were fickle.
Now we'd relish burdock pickle.
All this eating's Just a habit anyway.
Walter C. Doty In Browning's Magazine.
Superfluous Hair
SeSdliraefe
DtMtraelA the oiigtaal wnMary
Uoia, operates on am eattrely 4tf
fereat rlactple from any otfcar
method. It robe kair ( Ire rttal
Ity by ertacklsur it aster the altta.
Omly sesiniBe DeDMraele kaa a
noBfT-back gaarmntee la each
package. At toilet counter la Me,
$1 anal 93 slaea. mr by aaatt free
as la plata wrappVr oft teeetf t-Jl
price.
FREE ok with teatlaumlab mi
klKkeat aathorltiea ex.
plain what cause hair ea face,
neck ana arms, wky It tneieaaea
and kow DcMlrade deYtallmea tt.
mallea1 la plata sealed envelope oss
request. DeHlraele, Park Are. and
129th St, New York.
an M , rjamj sna- .
aaT trM I IP
TV
DBciFBAitaW
Sanatorium.
i
This institution is the only one
in the central west with separate
buildings situated in their own
ample grounds, yet entirely dis
tinct, and rendering it possible to
classify cases. The one building
being fitted for and devoted to
the treatment of non-contagious
and non-mental diseases, no others
being admitted; the other Rest
Cottage being designed for and
devoted to the exclusive treat
ment of select mental tcases re
quiring for a time watchful care
and special nursing.
A CHILD CAN OPERATE
WIS PLAYER
- .:
77 GULBRANSEN Player Piano
Absolutely the most reliable free pedaling and easy
performing instrument made. The' children can op
erate it with ease. Can be played manually (just like
any ordinary piano). Can be played simultaneously
by hand and feet.
Demonstrations constantly to see it and hear it
means to purchase.
Just realize that you have music, when you want
it and what you want.
Thousands of rolls ready to play in our Player Roll '
Department. '
You can buy the Player Piano on most convenient
terms monthly or weekly.
Our large assortment of Pianos is now complete.
Select your instrument now, if wanted by Christmas.
We will store it for you. ,
5U
4MWIirV''lGU
Used rianos tf . n
.. '
huglas Street
V
I
1 .