THE -I---.: uJiAhA, ivUlNi)Ai, SLpALluttK 2, 1918.
4
The Omaha Bee
DAILY (MORNING) EVENING SUNDAY
- fOUNDID BT EDWARD ROSEWATER
. VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR
THt BEE PUBUShSo COMPAJTX. PROPRIETOR.
MEMBER OK THE ASSOCIATED PRE53
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eatitM to tfc as tor publlewioa at ail Mm dlpte en riiteo
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OFFICES
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Cornell Bluff-14 N. tUM St -out-Ne- B'k of CooaeN.
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JULY CIRCULATION
Daily 68,265 Sunday 59,312
At ut eln 1-Uob (Of Um month, oowrlbeo' tod -ran In to ni1
Milium Clreullo M-wr
Subscriber tea-tag tfa elty ohonld have T- Bm mlt4
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THE BEE'S SERVICE FLAG
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The dignity of labor was never so universally
acknowledged as today.
What will win the war? Work will win the
var -whatever work is assigned to you to do.
- Death and taxes are inevitable and unescap
able. No one can get art immunity bath from
either, of them.
- Between war offensives and peace offensives
and political offensives, anyone can see strenu
ous times ahead. . v
"' It's a sad Labor day for those professional
I. W. W, labor agitators facing a period of real
labor in a federal prison. V
Wonderful how loyal and patriotic every
candidate for office with a war record bordering
on treason has suddenly become.
Who wants to be American ambassador to
the court of St. James, if Colonel House doesn't
want it? Don't all speak at once.
In view of that successful demonstration, no
good reason can exist for not adding an aviation
section to our Fort Omaha balloon school.
' Remember that the . Czecho-Slavs are our
most valuable unofficial allies. The, Czecho
Slavic bazaar deserves yourlmost liberal support.
Hogs this past week went up over $20 on the
market and within 5 cents of the record top. Any
wonder they may be 6een every day riding
through town in cushion-tired automobiles?
. Another world's fair Is proposed in Chicago
, for 1920 to celebrate the 300th anniversary of the
landing of the pilgrim fathers. Of course, the
, piece de resistance would be the exhibit of
IMymouth Rocks. '
- Those who object to the declaration that by
-itfexing the world war for humanity the United
States put the dollar mark on the American flag
are now to be denounced as "patrioteers." But
it won't stick any more than the dollar mark.
An installation charge of -from $5 to $10 for
new telephones will effectually stop expansion of
'phone service, if that is what the government
wants to do. A house with A telephone already
in it should have an added value on the rental
market. ' -
Nebraska's Great State Fair.
The state fair, which is agairi under headway
as an annual event has long since passed the
"punkin show and hoss trot" stage, and has be
come a truly great exposition of the allied ac
tivities of the agricultural Industry. " This is not
to be wondered at, since Nebraska has taken
front rank amon the producing states of the
union. Its intelligent, progressive farmers have
quickly seized on new and improved methods of
tilling the soil, breeding live stock, and doing
the other things that have brought them bounte
' ous prosperity. ,
i By diligent application of knowledge gained
at these fair, which really have become com
petitive exhibitions' of methods and products,
they have added to the productivity of the soil,
increased their annual output, and so given aid
to society. If the economic axiom is dependable,
that man's advance is in direct ratio .to the sur
plus of food he is able to produce, then the farm
' ers of Nebraska deserve to be listed among the
greater benefactors of humanity, for, they have
contributed annually for many years enormously
to the surplus of food, and thus have assisted in
, the creation of wealth through other ' agencies,
making possible research, invention and dis-
covery. ; -n i':;J" "
Because the state fair has had its undeniable
part ' in the success of . the Nebraska farmer, it
should be included ,in the category of institu
tions beneficial and indispensable.' :
LOYALTY OF LABOR.
Labor day demonstrations this year properly
present patriotic features with an almost total
subordination of the labor theme. We are at war
and the big job is to win the war as fast as pos
sible because the" quicker ,. . cmash the kaiser
the sooner will we be free to direct ourselves
to the after-the-war problems, of which the read
justment of labor to peace conditions wjll be of
prime importance. It is the consensus of
opinion that the fruits of victory are bound to
inure to the benefit of the wage worker nfore
than to the employing class-to the man who
works for his living with his. hands and brain
than the mart with. accumulated wealth.
It is a matter for self-congratulation that our
American labor has responded to the nation's
needs in such a way as to leave no question of
its loyalty as a whole. In no other country
which accords a measure of freedom to the
worker has this been equally manifest. ' America
has gone ahead with its war tasks without any
thing like the labor backfire that has embarrassed
Great Britain, for example, and the explanation
lies in the enlightened leadership and the high
standard of intelligence of our American labor,
the two essentials to a patriotic spirit
fiy doing its full part for the winning of the
war, labor is establishing its claim to more ade
quate , recognition after the return to a peace
basis. ' -
America'a New Merchant Marine.
Spectacular performances by the armed forces
of the United States have so monopolized atten
tion the public has almost forgotten the existence
of our merchant marine. Maybe it would be
better to say creation, for the great enterprise is
still in the constructive mood, as we have been
reminded on several occasions, when the Splash
ing of ships entering the water has called for
more or. less of exuberant utterance. After the
ships have once submitted to old ocean's embrace
we have let them go the way of unromantic com
merce carriers and turned our eyes to watch the
progress of the boys going over the top. Appar
ently this indifference has gvien little concern
to the merchant mariners. .
For example, the Tuckahoc, which got a great
deal of space on front pages because of being
constructed and ready for cargo in 37 days, has
gone on with its speed, and now makes a round
trip a week between Newport News and Boston,
carrying 5,000 tons of coal at a load. Six months
formerly was considered good sailing for a round
trip between New York and Buenos Aires, but
steamships are regularly scheduled to do it in 100
days now, and a sailing vessel has achieved the
course in US days. By a carefully worked out
system of control the Shipping Board has short
ened "turn arounds" to the extent that two ships
are doing now the work of three a year ago.
Thus we have increased the available tonnage by.
one-third without adding a vessel to the fleet
In other ways advances have been made, so
that German calculations based on pre-war per
formances are of about as much use as those
resting on the records of .the Phoenicians.
Americans have done it again, this time in the
matter of transport of cargo, in a way to sur
prise the world. And while the war goes on,
plans are being laid to continue this into peace
times. . '
Letters From a Canteener
Intimate Touches of Life Close to the Front Line Over There
These three letters written home by an American girl doing canteen
work in France give such a graphic picture that we print them
here, even though not privileged to .use the name of the author.
III.
. McAdoo'a Timely Hint to Kitchin. f
The secretary of the treasury has startled the
ways and means committee of the house by sug
gesting that it take pains not to put too onerous
burdens on business. Chairman Kitchin is in
clined to interpret this advice as a retreat- from
Mr. McAdoo's original suggestion of a flat 80 per
cent levy on all war profits. The view of the
chairman of the committee may be correct, but
to an outsider it seems scarcely susceptible of
such interpretation. ,
What Mr. McAdoo has done should have been
done long ago. Business as such has not en
deavored to escape any of its burdens or obliga
tions in connection with the war. Politicians in
and out of congress have persistently undertaken
to creaje the notion that the contrary is true.
Business of every sort has been, subjected to
espionage, and even where no foundation for a
charge of shirking or extortion has been found,
hints have been left to arouse suspicion and cre
ate distrust. Profiteering has disgraced us, but
that is a subject quite aside from the legitimate
purpose of a revenue measure. Any penalty that
is to be visited on the greedy should be laid
against them so directly that real business will
not suffer.
' A law to produce the enormous sum of $8,000,
000,000 can be passed and enforced without vic
timizing the producers of the country. The
question is whether the committee will finally be
guided by wisdom or prejudice, whether it will
act with its eyes open or follow .the dictum of its
chariman and vote with its eyes shut.
A la Cantine Americaine, Limoges, Sun
day, July 28, 1918. Dearest Agnes: Your
letter came this morning. I. could have
shouted for joy only 10 days and I knew
what you were doing such a short time ago.
I could just see you in the old garden, and
somehow your being alone there and father
fishing reminded me so much of that Fourth
after mother died, when you and I were alone
and Johnums spent the day with the Babbs
how about the baby? and you gave up your
trip east to take care of me. I came so near
never recovering myself at all. I owe my
health to your care at that time. A letter
from Guy this morning of course brought
the association more clearly to mind. He
sent A picture of himself raising the honor
flag for the Liberty loan campaign.
How glorious everything is nowl I won
der of you get a wave back of the joy that is
surging over France. The most disgruntled
are now jubilant: the Americans are idols.
I wish I could tell you and dad some of the
glorious things I know of what is going to
happen in a certain contested region, but you
will hear it all in good time.
Our boys are so fine I They stream into
our base hospital We give them cigarets
and ice water as they file out of the station,
either walking or on litters, all calm and pa
tient and proudly conscious. We fairly wor
ship them, and the tenderness of the bran
cardiers and the hospital ambulance men is
something never to forget. ,
We went through the De Luxe hospital
train built in England after our designs. It
is like a first-class boat, exquisitely dainty
and with every convenience and comfort
The boys would stop us and after fumbling
in their ever-present Red Cross kit bags
bring out,the ragged bits of shrapnel or shell
casing that had been taken out of their legs
and arms. They were as proud of them as
rapf a Croix de Guerre.
Officers of every rank were vying witn
one another to do them some service. I had
been having dinner with a captain and he was
so eager to do something for the boys that
he completely forgot himself and demanded
a box of matches from a colonel, and darted
off to light the cigarets our girls were put
ting into the mouths of the Htten cases. The
colonel handed it over and then realized
what had happened, exclaimed over the
"young cub's nerve," and I had to accompany
the colonel into our kitchen to get him a box
of matches. They are a scaroe commodity in
France.
I always try to fill the canteen with flow
ers on Saturdays, as they are hard to buy
Sundays. I had a particularly choice assort
ment yesterday and was amazed this morn
ing to find not a sprig in any of our pots.
The night shift had visited the train wearing
a few sweet peas. The boys had, begged
them and the girls rushed back and denuded
the canteen. We have wonderful roses and
sweet peas, gladiolas and larkspurs, and I
cover, my egg baskets with them as I drive
down from market in my open fiacre. Eggs
are $4.25 a dozen, and there are none or so
the Limogins will tell you, but a bonne
femme gathers 30 dozen a' day for me and
sneaks , them to the carriage. Americans
buy a good deal for officers' mess and hos
pitals and canteen, and it keeps prices up,
though heaven knows we should like to see
them go down. I buy about a thousand
francs worth a day of food from the market
and French and American quartermasters.
Our work has grown o with the boys
taking over the railroads and operating all
down the line and coming in at all hours for
meals, and they want meals, too no non
sense. As soon as the hospital boys get out
of bed they come streaming down for a reg
ular feed, then, of course, they linger to tell
their experiences and to sell souvenirs, etc.
l nave no feeling for the souvenir. I think
father might like some, but unless I can get
something really interesting I can t afford
the money or space for them. A boy
brought me in a first aid package he took
from a dead -German and the thine rave me
horrors.
.
Snealfin r( hnrrnre inct 11 ? mn
serving supper tonight I heard a wild sound
outside the door and stepped 'out of the
catsse to investigate so many beggars get
into the court past the guards. Two great
auto trucks were being filled with women
wild, dishevelled women, frantic and gibber
ing, alternately exultant and cowed. They
were in charge of nurses and had been res
cued from what hell I leave you to imagine,
having been for two years in German hands.
They were rescued just now when the Huns
retreated. The nurses could not keep them
quiet and I heard enough of their stories tt
make me feel as though my blood had turned
to a snake's, I felt so venomously full of hate.
The French soldiers translated to our
boys and it was a sad and awe-struck bunch
who came back later into the canteen. They
kept asking me if anything could be done for
the women could they ever be restored
mentally or physically? I told them I
thought so, but I don't really see what can be
done for them. How can they ever forget?
Some of them had fine burning and intelli
gent faces and they were gibbering, too. All
France is apprehensive for what the men of
the north will do if they ever get into Ger
many. We don't need to fear for our boys they
are decent right through. Stevenson says:
"To touch the heart of man's mystery, we
find in him one thought, strange to the point
of lunacy, the thought f duty, the thought
of somethintr owing to himself, to his neigh
bors, to his God, an ideal of decency to which fl
he would rise it it were possible, a limit ot
shame, below which if it were possible he
will not stoop." "
This is an axiom of civilization, surely,
but the Germans can never again be
included among the civilized a degener
ate . race .-every individual, no matter how
humble of 6utwardly sleek, lusts for insolent
power. The faces of the prisoners are cast
in one mould weak and insolent. I abhor
them.
Gossip at Washington has it that the presi
dent is contemplating a tour of the country to
boost the coming Fourth Liberty loan. Can it
be that the floating of this bond issue is expected
to be more difficult than the last? Or are the
democratic political strategists merely looking
for an excuse for a presidential swing round the
circle just ahead of the election?
Second Battle of the Marne
This newspaper occasionally finds mo
ments of embarrassment, in the fact that it
is written not only by and for but also about
the American army, so that when, in its ex
citement, it gives vent to a cheer for the
Yankee soldier, it might seem to present the
unedifying spectacle of the A. E. F. ap
plauding itself.
But just now a great part of the A. E. F.
is cheering from the bottom of its heart for
another great part. To all the American
soldiers whom fate touched on the shoulder
and summoned into the second battle of the
Marne, every other American in France takes
off his hat today.
They were called into a battle as fraught
s Gettysburg in its consequence to the
world for weal or woe, called in numbers
greater far than ever the field of Gettysburg
beheld. And through that last fortnight of
July, 1918, between the Marne and the
Ourcq, they fought with such splendid dash
and such high, exalted courage that today
every other American in France salutes
them reverently
In that battle, they have so borne them
selves that every other American soldier
wears his uniform a little more proudly, and
to his eyes the dear Star Spangled Banner
gleams more brilliant in the morning sun
light Stars and Stripes.
One Year Ago Today in the- War.
Italian , aeroplanes bombarded
Trieste. . . ' -
English east coast raided by Ger
man aeroplanes.
Counter revolution In Tetrograd
suppressed by Kerensky.
The Bay Wo Celebrate.
Allan D. Falconer of Slack & Fal-
-ntrtaVra. born 187S.
Vlmha.ll. tha orlarlndtor
and ' bead of th Hfe-aavlng service.
born tt UMDOn, MO.. " years aptu.
Hiram P." Maxim, celebrated In
ventor of electrical devices and ord
nn" - hon i in Brooklyn, N. Y., 49
Henrietta Crewman, a well known
actress of the American stage, born at
rt xtr vs 4R veara asro. .
Dr. Frederick. Starr; celebrated
anthropologist C-C the UnlveraUy 0f
Chicago, uorn i auuiku. - -
Jtev. Well Dwigut Hlllla. noted
clergyman ana auxnor, iki u
nolia, la., 0 years ago.
Tii! na- in History. -
1 148 Messina was reduced to ruins
by bombardment under King Ferdi-
nand IV Of Naples. -
1 aa .4 ar,!f ittinn nr Seda and
ihe whole French army therein was
r ned by Uenerais von jhohm
I .4 W'siioffen at .the Chateau of
Just 80 Years Ago Today
Chief Oalllgan, having been granted
permission to exhibit the lire depart
ment during lair week, is making
preparations on Davenport street be
tween Seventeenth and Tenth. Eight
companies will take part and there
will be some great racing between the
teams.
Mr. and Mrs. 3. C. Regan gave a
select tea party to a number of
Mr. Morrison says my shoes are in Bor
deaux and he has persuaded the American
Express to ship them to me here a coup
which I hope he will pull off. I am on the
job here for long hours a day, and so far have
had comfy shoes; fortunately, I don't wear
out stockings, either, as a common pair of
seamless white ones cost 5.25 francs.
Mary and George are off as usual for the
week-end our party did not pull off last
week; they never do as scheduled, and I
worked all day as usual Sundays are very
heavy.
I am going for a week's rest August 15;
have not decided where, but shall go first to
Paris for a talk with Mrs. Vanderbilt and to
see Mr. M. and T., I hope. The latter was
ecstatic over the money Mr. F. sent him. I
may go to Bag Meil, near the famous St.
Michael bay. They say there is bathing
there and quiet, and only five hours from
Paris. I'm trying to get Marion to go with
me.
" My three months here are up and I am
due for a change. If I am to have as much
responsibility as I have had here I may as
well have more authority and a canteen en
tirely my own. I did not want it, but I've
worked double hard here and see how things
could be done much bitter. However, I'll
do whatever seems best. Lots of love to you
all, dear ones, I am so glad you are well.
Yours, FLORENCE.
P. S. Five kilties were in the other day.
and how they did talk. They had been fight
ing with Americans and can't say enough
about the bravery of our boys and officers.
They are amazed at the way the latter fight
in the front lines with the men.
I want money to lend to the boys. They
come out of hospital without a cent and have
to travel sometimes six days to join their'
company. They need food and toothbrushes,
etc. I am absolutely broke lending wish
you could raise me a fat fund it is urgent.
'v
People md Events
Wonders in wartime clutter the records.
Some stand out in a conspicuous class. For
instance, the serious talk of Missouri demo
crat's nailing a prohibition plank to their
platform.
Railroad builders up in Alaska are not
bothered about an ice shortage. Recently
they put a stretch of track over a foundation.
of solid ice 40 feet thick. I hat job takes
the cake.
About $3,000,000 worth of Kentucky
whisky was burned at Owensboro, recently,
and the guilty firebug escaped. . Kentucky
justice shows painful signs of wobbling at
the knees.
A New York patriot, somewhat shy on
musical culture, tried to make a Georgia
man stand up while the restaurant orchestra
played "Marching Through Georgia.'' What
happened to the New Yorker was aplenty.
The invasion of mans former sphere of
activity is no less pronounced than the trans
formation of restaurants heretofore catering
to men in the large cities. Not only are
the older establishments meeting changed
conditions, but new restaurants and lunch
rooms are reaching out for the favor of
working women and girls.
An order promulgated by the Public
Safety commission of Minnesota, promises
lively times for loan slackers in the coming
fourth Liberty drive. By the terms of the
order "all persons refusing to take their
allotment of bonds may be required to give
testimony regarding their financial condition.
Slackerdom in the Oopher state has a large
consignment of worry coming.
Pottva'Pleta. age 28. of Brockton. Mass..
thought he had the laugh on the local draft
board when he appeared in feminine regalia
as proof of his ineligibility for military
service. The board laughed alright, for
Poliva didn't have his hat on straight and
his luxuriant blonde locks failed to cover
all the splotches of glue. A search was unnec
essary and Pleta tobogganed to Class 1.
"Short of Help."
Omaha. Aug. 31. To the Editor of
The Bee: The labor situation of this
country at this present time needs
consideration. The calamity of "short
of help" is becoming an every day ex
cuse for rendering, improper service.
This condition cannot be altogether
termed an excuse. It Is and has been
proven to be a fact in several cases.
If Sammies in the trenches would
send out an appeal, "We're short of
guns," how readily we would respond
to their request by sending them all
equipment necessary.
We have considered our home con
dition in the nature of an excuse and
that abroad of an appeal, but Is not
the one of as vital an importance as
the other? Never in the history of
the United States was this more true
than at this time and with all these
well known facts before us we are
asking for shorter hours now when
everyone should do his best and as
much as possible.' I
When in competitive business we
see our rival put In 10 hours of good,
faithful service, we are alert to one
fact and that is we must get busy, or
get out This good old nation of ours
now also has a competitor, headed by
a monarchist who would rule or ruin
the world and who, to accomplish his
purpose, is not at this time adopting
eipht-hour laws.
If this nation would adopt a 10
hour law it would mean 25 per cent
more service rendered, and that
would put up all the wheat in the
United States, and then when the
kaiser and his staff have been driven
back through Berlin and on through
his entire empire into the Baltic Sea
we can soon reinstate our eight-hour
law. - G. B.
Is Noise Part of Patriotism?
Omaha, Aug. 30. To the Editor of
The Bee: Can't we trust the intelli
gence of the people of Omaha to the
extent that it is unnecessary to alarm
everybody with the blowing of the
siren whistle whenever anything hap
pens? '
Take the siren whistle this morn
ing when the aeroplanes were sup
posed to have arrived. It woke every
poor sick patient in the hospitals in
Omaha and caused them more or less
excitement, which is bad for them. It
disturbed all business unnecessarily
because everybody is going to see all
they want of those aeroplanes tomor
row. If they must blow the siren
whistle why don't they use more
sense about it Instead of prolonging
it indefinitely on every occasion?
It is about time- we began an anti
noise campaign. One would think the
town was run by a lot of irresponsible
kids and it is about time to grow up.
, CITIZEN.
Over There and Here
friends at their large and elegant real
dence, 638 Park avenue.
President Bechel of the city coun
cil has selected Councilmen Alexan
der. Lee. Lowry and Snyder to Join
him In the visit of investigation to
the crematories use for burning gar
base at Des Moines and Minneapolis.
The republicans erected a towering
Harrison and Morton pole and neid
an enthusiastic ratification meeting at
Eleventh and Pierce streets in honor
Twice Told Tales
In the Van.'
It was an Idle hour in a certain
high-class Bhoe store. A few sales
men were gathered together in one
corner of the establishment, discuss
ing tne relative values of different
kinds of footwear. Said one,
proudly:
"The shoes that I'm wearing are
the best made. They're genuine
Cordovans.H
A short silence ensued, but it was
soon broken by the other salesman,
wno, swinging aoout on his heels and
walkjag away from the others, said:
"Tlfat's nothing; mine are moving
vans." Cartoons Magazine.
Caught the Point
At a Dolltleal mfttlnir tVin
made a jest, and finding that his audi.
ence naa missed tne point, he said
layiuuy:
"I had hODed that von mil 1 lanuh
t uiau
Then from a remote corner of the
hall, a plaintive vof;e broke the si
lence: "I laughe fl, Mister."
Then everybody did Everybody's
Magazine. , , .
Seeking Experience
Mrs. Meekton Daughter says she
won't marry any man who hasn't
been in the war.
Mr. Meekton That's sporting of
her, and I judge he'll need the pre
Center Shots v
Washington Post: Judging by the
estimates ot his casualties, ' Crown
Prince Willy's objective is the Port of
Missing Men.
Louisville Courier-Journal: The Ger
man foreign minister tells the press
that their cause is in danger. What
then, has become of their invincible
army?
Baltimore American: Now that
General Bernhardt, the noted war
writer and prophet, has had his own
corps baTlly beaten by General Haig,
he Is probably more convinced than
ever that the pen is mightier than the
eword. ,
Brooklyn Eagle: "Good Lord, de
liver us from the hyphenated Ameri
can." was the prayer of house of rep
resentatives chaplain, the JRev. Henry
N. Coudon. That the deity helps those
wno help themselves is a cognate re
flection. . '
Philadelphia Ledger: Strikes in
wartime are hard to justify, but the
women conductors in England who
refuse to work until they receive the
same Don us that men similarly em
ployed are receiving have right and
Titason on their side.
V
Cleveland Plain Dealer: JCalser
Wilhelm was gratified, he said, because
a German mother had lost nine sons
in the war. It must have pleased her
to learn of his gratification especially
when she considered that ha naa
Around the Cities
Philadelphia factories are turning
out 2,ooo,ouo paper boxes daily.
Damage suits growing out of the
Ruff building disaster at Sioux City
now total 1140,000.
Kansas City councilmen have not
yet succeeded In drawing straight an
swera to piain questions from tne
manager of the principal ice company,
An effort to get hold of the names of
the company's stockholders likewise
failed "on advise of counsel."
; After & fight extending over a year
a majority oi tne scnooi ooara or
Milwaukee voted to eliminate all for'
elgn languages from the grade schools
after June, 1919. Supporters regard
the action as a long step toward the
Americanization of the city.
Dry belt sleuths ot Sioux City are
sleuthing on fresh trails of bootleg
ging women. Liberal supplies of
L boose roll into town In gaa wagons
driven ny women, who. In some cases,
hide the brown bottles under copiona
skirts. This fact makes discovery dif
ficult and search dangerous. One of
the cops suggests a bump road to
crack the bottles. The scent will do
the rest
During the past few - months the
building department of Chicago pull
ed down 287 untenanted houses, as a
measure of safety. Most of the
houses were In the poorer sections of
the city. During the fuel shortage of
last winter many of them were strip
ped by fuel hunters and what remain
ed were a public danger and an eye
sore. Absentee landlords , are the
SMILING LINES.
1
The first meatless week in German
started August 19. An extra ration
of seven pounds of potatoes fills the
meatless space. '
How Ulysses Grant of ' Worcester,
Mass., got his name doesn't matter.
He adds no luster to it having been
run in as a draft slacker.
An American device talked about
at Washington when dropped from an
airplane discharges 3,000 bullets in a
circle, every bullet at or below the
level of a man's head. It Is expected
to become a hot souvenir for the
Huns.
A captain of a Chicago artillery
company writing from France to the
home folks says: "What Sherman
said about war doesn't mean a thing
any more. Hell is a prayer meeting
compared with this war. The Ger
man 'Hymn of Hate is a love song
beside the one we sing."
British bombing parties are fre
quent visitors to Cologne, Frankfort
Mannheim and other Industrial cities
on the Rhine. Essen and the Krupp
works are barely 50 miles northeast
of Cologne. Bombers may get the
range of Essen presently and start
fireworks on a major scale.
Practically all the tobacco substl
tutes in Germany are failures and
supplies from Holland have dwindled
to a secondhand puff of Dutch smoke.
Cfld pipes well soaked are in demand
as a sort of forlorn hope. Bowls and
stems yield the Undent flavor of nico
tine, but not the substance.
Cheese plays a prominent part In
the construction of the latest air
planes. Propellers are made of dif
ferent layers of wood, generally , seven
in number. These are glued to
gether. After much experimenting it
has been found that there is nothing
as good as casein or cheese glue for
the purpose.
An American correspondent at the
front burnishes a truism in asserting
that the Germans, man for man and
with like equipment are not the
equals of allied soldiers.. "German In
fantry is of no use against ours," he
writes. "If the men of the two armies
had to fight it out with rifles, hand
grenades and bayonets, the war would
soon be over."
A British major of artillery who has
seen four years of fighting pays a fine
tribute to American soldiers in a let
ter to a New York friend. "I have
seen and beard many things to their
greater and everlasting glory in ac
tion here," he writes. "They are
damned good. - They are as good
fighters as the Anzacs, and that's go
ing some. On the southern front they
have fought like wounded Jaguars.
Their one Idea is to get over the top
and into the Hun, and stay put
Grand!"
Among the many outgivings of Hun
uplifters in recent years, none rolled
out as unctuously as the taunt of
mammon worship. in America. Noth
ing like it was possible where kultur
prevailed. Sure, Mike! Still, on the
quiet the kaiser reached for the
American dollar with all the seal of
his clan. Alien Property Collector
Palmer has cornered several of the
kaiser's investments and expects to
sequester some 110,000,000 before he
is done. When good money is within
reach royal kultur scoots for the
scrapheap.
"But u b never said h would msny
you, whtn dots tea bceac- ot promlee
come In?"
"When I propoeed to him." aid the leap- .
rear maid, "be preraleed te be I brothel
to me, and ha baan't been anjrthlns of the
kind." Chicago Poet.
"Erery man likes, to hear the sound of
hi own voice."
"That fact," remarked ' Senator Sorghum .
"la what makea baae ball a beneficial Inatl
tutlon. A man can vociferate all he Ukei
without In the llshteet decree committing
himself to any political opinion." Washing
ton Star. . ,
Husband When my ship cornea la ve'U
have an automobile.
Wife It's so long overdue Fm afraid It
has encountered a U-boat! Judge.
Nell Tou are not going out? Why. It It
too hot to stir. Aren't you afraid you will b
overcome T
Belle I am a little apprehensive, but Tva
elmply got to go to a sale of summer furs.
CtnclnnaU Enquirer. '
Bolshevik Soldier Why do you awake mi
to bring me thla uniform?
Orderly It Is your turn to be the general
today, sire. Life.
Conscientious objector Shooting at thosi
targets makes me realize how awful wai
will be. I'd die before I'd kill a man.
Officer (who has watched him shoot)
Tou certainly would. Sun Dial.
"What Is your Idea of a good salesman T'
"A -bald-headed barber who can sell hall
tonic." Washington Star. ;
"Do you know what an Italian greyhound
la, Willie?"
"Tes, sir. He's a high-bred anlmaL"
"And what Is a dachshund?" ,
"It's a low-down German dog." Tonk-
era Statesman. ,
. Daughter 'Ta, our domestlo science pro
fessor Is teaching us how to spend money"
Dad (Interrupting) "Nent he'll be teach
ing ducks how to swim." Boston Tran
script. 4
Tm tired of canned beef," complained
the rummer boarder. "Some fish wouldn't
go bad."
"That's easily fixed," responded thi
genial farmer. ''Esry. open a can ol
sardine." Chicago Post
Angry Woman My husband attempted t
strike me. I want to have blm arrested. ,
Police Captain All right Where will
we find him?"
Angry Woman In the emergency hos
pital. Chicago New.
A divorce scandal was being discussed if
the presence of English Ambassador Bead'
tng.
"Poor Smith." a banker sighed. "To fall
at the age of ft! He'd climbed to the very
top of the moral ladder, too. In fact, bi
was a Sunday school superintendent How
strange that at 69 Smith should tall from
the ladder's top!"
"But wasn't there a .woman at the not-.
torn of It?" asked Reading. Detroit Fret
Press.
1 thought you (aid she was an original
thinker?"
"She i."
"She 1 not. I asked for her opinion of thi
war."
"What did she say?"
"What everybody else says; Isn't It ter
rible?" Detroit Free Press.
"Here's a letter from Sara at the front,
and he says there Isn't much difference be
tween being a mule driver and a gun flrer."
"Why not?"
"He says both kick him." Baltlraort
American.
McJones This morning I found a $6 bill
In my last summer's suit. '
McSmlth Is that so? I thought yon
were married. The People's Home Journal.
"The summer waists are very thin."'
Top."
"1 don't think the girls can get 'em any
thinner." '
''Don't arouse 'em, now." Louisville Courier-Journal.
"A chorus girl doesn't get a larga salary."
"Say on."
"But she derive great comfort from tn
romantic stage name she picks out for her
lelf." Cincinnati Enquirer.
I am so obsessed with my love for you,"
wrote the sweet young thing to her soldier
"that I cannot eat a bite."
"That Is the kind of girlie for me," said
the rookie; "with the price of eats havln' a
blue sky limit. I could just about support a '
wife who didn't eat." Florida Times Union.
-"WHY-
NOT
Then It Happened.
"I wonder if you could?" mused the
Rummy, as he mooched a handful of
coffee beans.
"Tou wonder If you could what?"
demanded the barkecp, as he reached
for a bottle.
"I wonder If you could refer to a
waggln' tongue . as a vehicle of
speech," replied the Rummy, as he
headed for the door. Cincinnati n
quirer.
Business Caution. 'a
Farmer Why advertise such a nu
merous variety of pickles?
Citizen Because purchasers are
not likely to buy the same kind twice.
Judge.
LT.IBtmmOiimtmw
"8 -sine is Qoodlteak You"
NEwnRcntoor
With Bath,
$1.50 A 91.75
With Toilet,
$1.00 A 1
On Direct
Cat Un .
From Depot
Hotel Sdnford
OMAHA
Dark or Light
SPLITS
Sc
Order a, Case Sent Home
Onaha Beverage Co.
OMAHA, NEB.
Phone Doug. 4231.
HAVE YOU $1,500?
It will buy fifteen of our shares. If you have not this
amount, start with less and systematically save with us
until you reach your goal. No better time and no better
place. Dividends compounded semi-annually.
The Conservative Savings & Loan Ass'n
1614 HARNEY STREET.
Resources, $14,000,000. Reserve, $400,000.00.
xit the event r
vious experience. Judge.:
saved all six of his,
chief vufferers. -,