Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, August 31, 1918, Image 8

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

    THE BEE: OMAHA, SATURDAY, AUGUST 31, 1918.
The Omaha Bee
DAILY (MORNING) EVENING SUNDAY
FOUNDED BY EDWARD KOSE WATER
VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR
THI BEE PUBLISHINO COM PANT. PROPRIETOR.
MEMBER OF IKE ASSOCIATED PRESS
fha AfKmund nm of ntca ttf Mm it aMaitw i udiHWj
ntllll lo u use fat public! oo of til ini diitxtrtm end'tod
W U or '. otherwise credited in tin ptpet. ud SIM the weal em
dubtlibed herein 411 rights of publiostico of out .peel) 4ipeuB
vo also merred.
OFFICES
Oiuu The Bee daildini, Uiicsse Peoples Uw Bal Idiot,
South OmiU-tlli N St New Tort-lSS fifth Aft.
Council Bluffs-14 N Mils s 8t Uiul New B'k of Conacres
UbooIb Utile Bulldls Wufeinitoo 1JU 0 Si
JULY CIRCULATION
Daily 68,265 Sunday 59,312
Arerut etrenittian for tns month, subscribed tad twoni V or Dwlfhi
Wtlllnna Orrulitloo Men tier
Subscribers leaving tht dty should have Tht Bet nail)
to them. Address changed aa olten a requested.
THE BEE'S SERVICE FLAG
r'ij A A A AAA
!' A A AAAAAAAA A Ar
111 1
Line up with "Big Jeff" for congress.
Swat the profiteer wherever he bobs up.
K those birdrnen really brought the rain, their
visit was well timed.
The successors to the "Contemptibles" are
living up to their lights and traditions, all right
The peculiar bolshevik! is getting some prac
tical lessons in the real scienct of self-government
just now, .
No confidence is violated in announcing that
the kaiser's visit to Paris as planned for 1918 has
been indefinitely postponed.
The Injunction, "Put none but loyal Amer
icans on guard," holds good for the coming elec
tion even more than it did for the recent primary.
Having reached the "switch line" back of the
Hindenburg line, the army under Haig will now
proceed to detour the entire Ludendorff cam
paign. ' j
- Those ebullient Mexicans have calmed down
materially since they found the Americans no
longer in a mood to put up with' their monkey
shines. '
' One wonders which side ! most interested in
the killing of the corn crop the folks who will
have to eat it, or the bears, who are trying to
pound the price down.
The American Bar association has succumbed
to the inevitable, and admitted women to mem
bership. Portia's ghost may now give a cheer
and retire to perfect rest.
Just think it's only thirteen years since Oma
ha had a real thrill, watching Roy Knabenshue
pilot his dirigible over the carnival grounds and
around the city hall steeple!
All street Improvements and other public work
f pot .immediately imperative are to wait the finish
of 'the war. If this order is strictly enforced, a
lot of political inspectors may have to go to work.
Holland picked the right time to take action
against Germany. The Hun will be too much en
gaged for the next few months to do more than
make a formal protest against the seizure of his
laid-up ships.
State tax revenue for Nebraska for the coming
year will aggregate over $4,000,000, of which
Omaha and Douglas county will contribute fully
a half million dollars. Omaha is no deadhead at
the state box office. .
: The High Cost of Campaigning. .
Returns of candidates running in the late pri
mary of campaign expense accounts under the
corrupt practices law show that the Increased
cost of living baa not stopped short of the high
cost of campaigning. Even making due allow
ance for the usual camouflage to cover up items
that might not look well in print, the average
outlay appears to be visibly greater than in simi
lar contests heretofore, though, as everyone
knows who watched the progress of the game,
the activities of the candidates and the scale of
their operations were, if anything, less than is
customary. The explanation is not hard to find
the cost of stationery and printing has gone up,
the postage rate has been increased from 50 to
100 per cent, advertising rates generally have ad
vanced, labor and clerical help command more
pay. The only things(that remain the same are
the salaries attached to the elective offices and
the lawful limit of campaign expenditures pro
portioned to the number of voters without any
elasticity or variation for the changing cost of
doing the business. , The hardships of war plainly
envelop the field of politics as well as the field
of military combat
THROUGH HINDENBURG LINE.
Reports persist that the forces under Field
Marshal Haig have pierced the Hindenburg line
in the neighborhood of Arras. This is properly
regarded as the most important accomplishment
of the Allies since the Huns were checked in
their drive against Paris and their advance turned
into a backward movement.
LudendorfFs strategy undoubtedly contem
plated retirement to the old Hindenburg trenches,
which have been renovated and made ready for
occupancy on the defensive. The acknowledged
strength of this line made it most formidable,
promising a serious job when another forward
movement should be undertaken by the armies
under Foch. If it be true thatthe British have
finally succeeded in pushing through where they
have been halted for two years, Ludendorffs dif
ficulties are enormously increased. With this
penetration widened .to anything like a consider
able front, the old line will have to be greatly
rectified by the Germans before they can sit down
to another winter of occupation of invaded terri
tory. . Breaking through at the points indicated in
volves the rolling up of Crown Prince Rup
precht's army, the clearing of the North Sea coast
in Belgium, and the safety of the Channel ports
made fully as secure as that of Paris. It also
means the simplification of the future campaign
to the extent that the kaiser's army on the west
end will not again have an opportunity to es
tablish itself so thoroughly, and that it must al
ways be kept on the move to pVevent its being
enveloped. The British appreciated this, and for
three years have made persistent effort to bring
about just what is made possible by this present
success.
Samuel Gompers In Europe.
One of the most significant missions sent to
Europe since our entry into the war is that
headed by Samuel Gompers. His is not the first
visit made in the name of labor, nor is it likely
that he will alter the great principle stated by
President James Wilson of the Pattern Makers'
International union, who told workers in Eng
land and France that American labor will never
clasp hands with German labor while an armed
Hun remains in France or Belgium, or while
Serbia, Poland and other outraged nations call
out for relief.
Mr. Gompers' personality, aside from the
great prestige he holds as head of the American
Federation of Labor, will add immensely to the
influence he will exert, and give weight to the
authoritative utterances he may make in the name
of American labor. It is within reason to think
that his visit will greatly assist in clarifying the
situation as relates to the part of labor in the
peace settlements, as well as to a policy to be
pursued after the war.
Interest in this phase of his visit arises from
the fact that the great American labor organiza
tions have contented themselves with economic
action only, being opportunists in politics, while
the unions of England and France are active in
politics as well as in the economical field. Mr.
Gompers has been a leader in the American
school for many years, and it is reasonable to
Delleve that he will yet remain steadfast to hi
convictions on this point However, he has de
cided views as to the part labor should have in
the peace council. It is certain that he will An
nothing to weaken the determination of labor to
win the war.
Dutch Retaliate on the Hun.
The Netherlands government is reported to
have taken a step that may lead to serious con
sequences. According to dispatches from Am
sterdam, six interned German steamers have
been seized by the Dutch to replace vessels sunk
by submarines. While this course may not be
strictly within the lines of lawful procedure, am
ple justification for it may easily be found. The
Germans have steadily pursued a course toward
neutral shipping that throws warranted suspicion
on its military necessity. One of the great pur
poses of destroying merchant shipping has been
to so limit the tonnage afloat that when the war
is over interned German steamers will be strongly
in request as commerce carriers. This foresight
is now being forestalled by the Dutch, who are
not so obtuse as might appear. Spain has threat
ened to pursue a similar course, and if the prac
tice becomes general the Huns will find one of
their plans for commercial conquest knocked
askew by Indignant victims of their piratical
practice.
It requires quite a bit of telegraphing to per
mit the Omaha democratic senator to explain to
the readers f his hyphenated organ why he
voted one way in 1917 and another in 1918. He
may in time get around to explain his 1914 and
1915 efforts to aid the kaiser.
The railroads, the telegraphs, the telephones
and the express have all been taken out from un
der the jurisidiction of the State, Railway com
mission, but the overloaded salary list goes right
on as usual.
The British bulldog seems to have secured
the hold he wants, and the fate of Rupprechfa
army is as definitely settled as if it were already
carried out
Letters From a Canteener
Intimate Touches o Life Close to the Front Line Over There
These three letters written home by an American girl doing canteen
work in France give such a graphic picture that we print them
here, even though not privileged to use the name of the author.
II.
A la Cantine Americaine, Lemoges, July
1. Dear Father: Your letter and Agnes'
came together and greeted me on my return
from the country. My heart is always at
home. How I long to see youl But the
longer I stay in this work the more I realize
how I am needed.
My own branch of the service occupies so
much of my time and nils so aosoiuteiy my
horizon that I have not made much of a study
of the other women's work in Red Cross, but
any derogatory statements about the Red
Cross ought to burn the tongue that utters
them. However, with millions of men over
here who know, or will know, its ministra
tions, there is no necessity for advertisement
by us.
The officers who censor the boys' mail
say the principal theme is always Red Cross.
They say that the doughnuts are always sec
ond in importance to the fact that there are
"bully American girls" who remind them of
home. And' that is what we want to do to
keep them alive to the fact that there is a
happy normal life for which we are all fight
ing, and to which we hope to return. If
these boys got the idea that that life was a
thing of the past there would be nothing to
hold them; there are plenty of substitutes
offered over here, but one reminder of home
by letter or through contact with us anchors
them in the family affecticn from which they
have been so rudely torn.
Mme. de Luze, with whom I was staying,
met a lot of our boys, and she is amazed to
hear them talk so much, of home. She had
an idea that there was very little home life
in the States, but she says these boys think
and speak of nothing else.
Of course, there are frivolous ones among
the Red Cross, but it is a frivolity that the
quality of the owner's service redeems. I
remember at Issondun seeing the white,
pinched little face of our youngest canteener
over the shoulder of an enlisted man she was
dancing with and I remembered that the
boy she had been with constantly for three
months, and whom I am sure she loved
had fallen in his machine and been killed a
few days before.
I saw another girl open a letter from her
fiance, written in a base hospital, saying that
he was wounded and the shaky handwriting
telling much more. She was about to go on
duty in the officers' mess, and so was I. As
I passed her later I heard a table full of offi
cers young flyers, who won't any of them
be alive in a year laughing uproariously
that some girl was being frivolous. It was
over two weeks before she really know that
her lover was safe and she continued to work
and laugh and be entertaining. She finally
was allowed to go to him and I afterward
saw his name heading the honor roll for con
spicuous bravery but we will all think she
was pretty brave, too.
I have the most wholesome respect for
the great number of women I have met work
ing over here. Their ability to keep normal
and cheerful is amazing. Of course, few of
them are accustomed to the sort of work
they are doing, and the great physical effort
alone sometimes fatigues them almost be
yond their powers of endurance. Add to that
the sympathy they are called upon to give
and the emotional strain of seeing our
wounded boys and the refugees, etc.
There is a quality that our boys have,
quite inexplicable, that makes it possible for
us to laugh and joke with them at all tunes.
.As they go off to the front and on their re
turn, lying on stretchers, too sick to raise
their heads to drink the coffee we are giving
them they- are always droll, sometimes
quite a dry smile mmeates the tragedy.
I was holding one boy's head on my
German Language in America
An organization called the National Se
tuirty league, working with the slogan,
"Make the United St-tes a One-Language
Nation," has accomplished results in 25
states. The league's committee on foreign
languages and foreign press has brought
about the discontinuance of German instruc
tion in numerous towns and cities.
But on the whole the strongest weapon
against the German language in the United
States will not have to be forged, nor will it
be necessary to organize to use it. It is al
ready in use everywhere and will be used
long after the war. It is a spiritual weapon
the averted eye and the hostile look, when
ever the language is spoken. The more
vigorous of the wielders of this weapon will
have something to say as well. The con
temptuous "Why don't you speak United
States?" will be more frequently heard and
the user of the German tongue will find him
self at a disadvantage in business relation
and in ordinary life with his neighbors.
It is not exactly a boycott that the user
of the German tongue will face, but scarce
concealed dislike and contempt. On the ris
ing generation of German descent the effect
will be undoubted. The use of the German
tongue will prove so great a handicap that
it will be -dropped. Germany has struck a
terrible and certain blow at the use of the
German language in the Americas. Time
only will tell the far-reaching effect of this
blow.
Bismarck acknowledged and regretted
that Enelish was the language of North
America. Attempts were made by Germans
in America to modify this great fact, but
Germany has now rendered them abortive.
The language of Shakespeare, of Chaucer, of
Milton, of John Bunyan, of Wordsworth and
of the ScriDtures is the language of North
America and nothing can change this
mighty fact. Those who are living on this
continent must accommodate themselves and
their prejudices to this fact Minneapolis
Journal.
shoulder just before his being put into am
bulance and giving him some hot coffee
(he had warily refused cigarets), and I was
quietly weeping over his dirty hair, when he
! murmured, "Oh ra, la; I don't want to get
well, their favorite songl
Yes, I was standing at one end of the line
for Pershing's benefit. If we publish my
canteen letters we ought to have some pic
tures. I am eager to hear just which movies
appear. There are some taken in which I
did not appear at all, but I hope the Chinese
ones were good. They were so typical of
my work there. Here we have no store
room and no place to put our provisions
they are piled up in our little office prunes
and figs and olive oil and jugs of syrups for
cold drinks, and flour and chocolate and mat
tresses. They say they will be down in two
weeks to do something for us. I hope so.
We are now serving about 300 meals a
day to passersby, and sometimes 1,000 drinks
including doughnut3. bread and cheese and
jam, the latter in very small quantities. As
you may imagine, the marketing for such
numbers gets more and more interesting
and cumbersome. My cab as I come home
laden with great clothesbaskets of cauliflow
ers and bags of peas and baskets of lettuce
and carrots, is very oicturesaue. esoeciallv
as most of the women gave me pretty bou
quets oi roses, i tninK i would remind
father of his favorite ooem. "When first I
saw Peggy, 'Twas on a Market Day." An
officer quoted that to me the other day, but
1 didn't dare tell him that was my name.
bunday we had ice cream a marvelous
concoction of Thomas' made with condensed
milk, flour and gelatine and flavored with
chocolate. We served 160 for lunch.
French and Americans, and afterward had
the freezers in the rest room and served 140
at our Sunday afternoon party.
There is a lieutenant who comes down
quite often, and who always contributes some
sort of service. He started our graphaphone,
mended our electric light, etc. He always
asks when the ice ceam will be ready. When
he appeared Sunday and stood in line with
the boys for his ice cream and was told there
were no seconds, I could see a resolve
kindling in his eye. He asked me where the
hose was and went out and sprinkled the
dusty railroad court. It is lijfe water in the
desert when someone does it for us. Of
course, he got another dish he knew he
would.
Some of our maids were ill Sunday and I
was on active duty 14 hours. Today I am
home early and must get some sleep. Lots
of love, FLORENCE.
(The Third Letter Monday.) ,
Federal "Blue Sky" Law
The proposition to supervise and regulate
the promotion of all new stock ventures as a
war measure, on the face of it, sounds like
the most common-sense thing that ever came
out of Washington. In a way, it is provid
ing a protection for the whole country that
is now afforded a few states by what are
known as the "blue sky" laws. These laws,
which regulate the promotion of stock com
panies and corporations generally, are so
called, since they aim to eradicate the evil of
mushroom companies whose claims are so
false and whose resources are so tenuous as
to suggest that, in many cases, their only
capitalization is the "free air" or the "blue
sky." These "blue sky" laws, passed first in
Kansas and a few other western states, have
been declared constitutional by the United
States supreme court They are, indeed,
based on very salutary principles, and should
be passed by every state, since, as a matter of
fact, though the United States postoffice au
thorities are supposed to keep a very sharp
watch on get-rich-quick concerns, every once
in a while a new promoting swindle is ex
posed which seems to have gone scot-free for
years, though making no bones about its sin
ister intentions and its dishonest scheming.
Under the circumstances, if the capital issues
committee and postal authorities can nip
these doubtfuj ventures in the bud, they will
be doing a great good. No honest promotion
scheme will suffer through proper scrutiny,
regulation and supervision. And it is about
time the honest ones were protected against
the dishonest schemes which throw suspicion
over any 'new promotion scheme that may
come along. We have fooled with this mat
ter too long; and if the war brings about a
drastic chansre. so much the hetter Philadel
phia Ledger.
People and Events
Congressman Billy Mason of lliinois finds
his anti-war record greeting him like a sore
thumb at every stage of his campaign, but he
defies his enemies to do their worst They
say they will do it at the primaries, next
month.
Uplifters down Coney way claim a large
moral victory in putting the ban on kissing.
Perhaps. Still, there are opportunities for
temperamental couples doing the submarine
act or screening themselvesbehind copious
umbrellas. Both methods make for privacy
and relieve' uplifters of the pangs of envy.
August Heckscher, a millionaire real es
tate man of New York, wants $500,000 each
from two women as damages for calling him
a "pro-German." Plaintiff and defendants
are members of a summer colony at Hunt
ington, L. I., and the suits for damages have
the residents talking on overtime schedules.
Organized labor ranks in Chicago are re
ported greatly thinned out by the lure of high
wages elsewhere, especially in war shops of
the east. The calls to the colors have taken
10,000 from the rolls of the building trades
and 30,000 have moved away. These and
other causes are said to have cut the mem
bership in two.
One Year Ago Today In the War.
The shipping board contracted for
three new shipyards to coat 135,000,-
000.
Italians under General Cadorua ad
vanced eastward two miles after
crossing the Isonzo river.
The Day We Celebrate.
Walter L. Selby, real estate and In
surance man, born 1854.
Brlg.-Gen. Anson Mills, United
States army,- retired, born In Boone
county, Indiana. 84 years ago.
. RL Rev. John O. Murray, Episco
pal bishop ot Maryland, bora at Lon
uconlng, Md., II years ago.
Charles A. (Duke) Fan-ell, one-
tints famous bass ball player, now a
United States marshal, born at Oak
dale, Mass., II years ago.
This Day In History. -
' 1884 Confederates under General
Hardee attacked the Army of the
Tennessee, under General Howard, at
Jonesboro, Tenn.
1871 Louis Adolphe Thiers was
elected president of the French re
public . - . .
1895 Ely Samuel Parker, the full
blooded Indian who served as General
Grant's secretary at the surrender of
uenerai Le, died at Fairneld, Conn.
"Born at Tonawanda, N. Y., In 1828.
115 Forty British and ' allied
merchantmen and six neutrals re
ported sunk la the war sons during
August
Just 30 Years Ayo Today
M. V. Gannon, a member of the
Douglas county bar, is making a cam
paign tour through Maine.
The Crelghton guards left for Wa
hoo, where they will enter the en-
campment of Nebraska National
guards lor about a week.
The Bank of Omaha, on the cor
ner pt Thirteenth and Jones, has been
sold to Frank Wasserman, A. B
Powell and august Benzon.
Thirty new locomotives will reach
the Union Pacific during the next 30
aays.
Messrs. Gates, Colo and Mills and
the Clark Coffee company have con
solidated and a stock company to be
known as the Consolidated Coffee
company will succeed them. The of
ficers are w. E. Clark, president: W.
W. Cole, vice president: J. B. Mills,
secretary, and U. II. Gates, treasurer
Out oj the Ordinary
Unlike the land, the temperature of
the sea does not fall at night
This country now manufactures
practically everything along chemic
al lines.
Sea water becomes drinkable if fil
tered through a bed of fresh, dry sand
15 feet thick.
Wooden soles for shoes are bem
made In Wisconsin from material
that was formerly sold as waste and
fuel by sawmills.
A mole will die If kept for a single
daj without food, and of all animals
the mole requires most food In pro
portion to its size and weight.
Real gypsies will not utter the
names oi any, of their dead. This la
because of their superstition that the
ghost of the departed might be called
up.
A well-known medical scientist has
placed it on record that such ts the
energizing and heating power of sugar
that a child, given as much as It could
digest could In the coldest weather
easily dispense with an extra garment,
The longest continuous fence In
the world Is that which stretches
across the Australian continent from
the south coast at Starvation Boat
Harbor to the north coast at Ban
nlngarra, a distance of over 1,200
miles. This wonderful fence of Woven
wire netting Is designed to stop the
Inroads of rabbits from the eastern
desert and . semi-desert regions into
me more westerly agricultural dis
tricts, which ars as yet comparatively
tree irom tne peat
Peppery Points
Washington Post: The report that
a U-boat skipper came ashore has alt
the earmarks of truth, as soon as it Is
added that he filled up on beer and
frankfurters. .
Kansas City Times: The Germans
are again looking around for a suf
ficiently broad and deep river to get
behind, and the evidence all indicates
that their ultimate choice will fall on
the Rhine.
Brooklyn Eagle: Spain's plana to
buy largely ot the United States, with
exchange supported by a large credit,
are statesmanlike. When we whipped
Spain we acted so decently that no
grudges survived.
Louisville Courier-Journal:" "Let
us look into the future," says Field
Marshal Hindenburg. All right mar
shal. And from what you see do you
think the futuro is going to be hot
enough for you?
Baltimore American: A British air
minister feees in prospect American
aviators bombing Berlin. That will
bring the end of the war without the
frightened Huns waiting for the
4,000.000 American troops to be on
the front by next summer.
' New fork World: A British air
plane carrying its crew and nine pas
sengers besides a "normal amount of
baggage" made the trip from an In
land point in France to England in
half an hour. This beats crossing the
Channel by boat and comes near to
establishing a standard of air trans
portation. Perhaps there will be no
need for that tunnel after all.
Twice Told Tales
The Forerunner.
Ex-Ambassador Gerard was talking
about the German railroads.
"They're in an awful state," he
said. "Completely out of repair, you
know. On my last train ride in Ger
many the Joltinr was so terrible that
a joker said the cars had square
wheels.
"The German trains go very slow
now. This is supposed to save wear
and tear. There's a story about a
man who waited all the afternoon at
a German station for a train, and"
then accosted the ticket agent hotly:
"'How about my train?' he said.
It's 17 hours overdue. Have I got to
wait here a week?'
"Don't get excited, sir, said the
ticket agent The train'Il be along
right soon now. Here comes the en
gineer's dog.' "Detroit Free Press.
Costly Bachelors' Halt
Flnley Peter Dunne said the other
day:
"I fa folly to say that two can live
as cheap as one two can live far, far
cheaper than one.
" 'Are you sending your wife to the
shore this August?' I asked a married
man.
" 'No,' he answered. 1 can't afford
It It costs too much."
"'But' I said, your wifat tastes
are simple. Suroly she can sojourn
at the shore without spending any
great amount?
"I know that all right said he;
but last August, while she was at the
shore, I spent qver $200 a week.' "
ZffieJ&ees
Endorsee Mr. Agnew'e Views.
Omaha, Aug. 29. To the Editor of
The Bee: I read with interest the
letter of Mr. Frank Agnew in The
Bee of this date regarding the "Birth
of a Nation and heartily concur in
what he says. I was living in Vir
ginia during the period of reconstruc
tion and I know the picture, "Birth
of a Nation," does the negro race a
great injustice, and I sincerely hope
the officials of the city of Omaha will
forbid the play being shown here In
the future. J. M. TALIAFERRO.
Army Activities In Texas.
Galveston, Tex., Aug. 25. To the
Editor of The Bee: -Perhaps it may
be interesting to your many readers
in general, and the soldier boys In
particular, to hear what Uncle Gam
is doing in this part of the country.
From the time one leaves Jeffer
son Barracks aryi Scott Field, near St
Louis, until he comes into San An
tonio, Tex., the military headquarters
of the great southwest and on to the
gulf, he passes through no less than
eight aero training fields, and through
out this section is being forged a large
part of the great war thunderbolt
the American army.
Few realize, or even know, the ex
tent of the United States military es
tablishment in and around San An
tonio, the investment for which is al
ready in the neighborhood of $15,000,
000. It inclutl 8 60,000 acres and has
facilities for accommodating 100,000
soldiers. It is the largest military es
tablishment in America, and as the
headquarters of the Southern depart
ment It is the residence of the com
manding general and the supply base
for all branches of the army.
Coming on down to the gulf, one
finds Galveston has gone a long way
from the Indian fishing village of Sa
parac, huddled at the far east end of
the island. Galveston is now the
fourth city of Texas in population and
first In commercial Importance; neith
er Is It any longer an island city, for
in the construction of a giant cause
way flung across two miles of sea it
has located itself on a peninsula.
The causeway is of steel and con
crete, with two railroad tracks, and
electric car line, a driveway and a
footway. This is th ; finest harbor on
the gulf and 100 ocean-going steamers
can anchor along its wharves. Along
the shore Is an automobile speedway
and a wide promenade, while back of
this Is the famous sea wall built after
the storm of 190 to prevent a reoc.
currence of the encroachments of the
tide. The building of this sea wall is
one of the engineering achievements
of the country. JOHN P. COADY.
MIDSUMMER SMILES.
Parson Do you know the parables, my
child?
Johnny Tei, air.
Parson And which of the parables do
you like beat?
Johnny I ilk the one where somebody
loafa and fishes. Puck.
"Thla law 1 a queer business."
"How so?"
"They swear a man to tell the truth."
"What then?"
"And every time he shows signs of doing
It some lawyer objects." Minneapolis
Tribune.
"No, Harold, I don't think I can give
you a kiss. Kisses are lnsanitary."
"Huh I You've changed a lot since we
went to school together. Why you used
o chew my gnrn.' Louisville Courier-Journal.
Do you think early rising Is good for
your health?" asked the languid city visit
or. "I dor.'t know about my health," re
plied Farmer Cobbles, "but next to sun
rain and fertilizer, it s the best thing there
la for my crops." Birmingham Age Her
ald. "Have the young couple In the flat next
to us had a quarrel, Marie?"
"I don't know; why do you ask?'
'Our cook went In there to borrow some
baking powder, and she saw the wife
making angel cake," .Louisville Courier-
J ournaL
"The labor shortage has given my
nephew some new views on life."
"Huh?"
"He thought everything went by pull.
But the other day he went out and got a
Job as street sweeper on his own merits,
something he hadn't thought it possible to
do." Chicago Post,
After-dinner Speaker Gentlemen, I have
come prepared tonight to speak on the
war.
Quest It's all right, old man. We've
eome prepared to listen to you. Life.
He There ts one thing about the British
soldier which strikes the German very
forcibly. '
She What Is that
He His bullets. Pearson's Weekly.
"This war Is going to make a lot of trou
ble at school examinations."
"In what way?"
"Look how the pupils are going to be
left who learned geography as it was be
lore the war." Baltimore American.
"Can any pupil tell where the Declaration
ef Independence was signed?" asked the
teacher of the history class.
"Yes'm, I can," called little Johnnie
Baker. 'It was signed at the bottom."
Ladies' Home Journal.
Round About the State
Looking back through a vista of 48
years the Crete Democrat observes:
"This haa been one of the queerest
Beasons we have experienced." It
stumps the oldest inhabitant for sure.
Northeast Nebraska rounds into
the season'e home stretch with a
bountiful crop assured. The fortu
nate region, according to the Wayne
Herald, has cinched a corn crop that
is a wonder.
Fremont Is ready with well-filled
coal bins to give winter the cus
tomary warm reception. No invita
tions are out and winter is welcome
to defer the call Indefinitely. Fuel
dealers say that Fremonters cheerily
obeyed the order: "Buy early."
One of the late "thinks by the old
man" of the Norfolk Press crystal
lizes thus: "That woman's militia
company may work out all right but
I have my doubts, as I have never met
many women who took kindly to
obeying orders." Now, Marie, will
you be good?-
West Point Republican expresses
unwavering confidence in the pull and
staying powers of old King Corn.
"Here in Cuming county," says the
Republican, "the crop will be a little
short in some places, but on an aver
age for the county the crop will come
up to normal."
A suggestion of the "melancholy
days" peeps through the pages of
state papers. The glow of familiar
political faces, radiant with hope and
promise, have disappeared and plain
news .fills the aching void. This is a
distinct loss to admirers of speaking
likenesses and pictorial humor.
-Antioch, the potash metropolis of
Sheridan county, stirred up a hornet's
nest with a county division proposi
tion. Hay Springs, Gordon and other
towns say nothing doing Just now,
and have organized for a finish fight
Antioch may be rich, say the opposi
tion, but it hasn't the numbers to put
over division.
lMIIIIMI!!lllll!llllltllllllllll!!l!llllllllllllll!l!llIIIIIIMI!ll
The
Drexel
Kid Says:
"Tuesday it's
back to school,
and I'm glad
the time is al
most here."
But is he ready? Has he
a new pair of Shoes? If
not, bring him in Saturday
and have him fitted with
a pair of
TEEL
HOD
HOES
THE TANK BRIGADE.
(Shade of Tennyson, forgive.)
Half a league, half league,
Half a league onward.
Move like the scythe of Death
Tanks, by the hundred.
Boche ballets harmless rllde
Down from their metl hide.
While from that steely Hell
Showers of shot and shell
Volley'd and thunder'd.
Was trier a boche that stayed
To see how they were made?
Not when each Frltzle felt
His hours were number'd.
Thetr's not to peek and pry.
Thelr's not to wondr why,
Thelr's but to sprint, or die.
Straight to Berlin they fly,
Huns by the hundred.
Tanks to the rteht of them,
Tanks to the left of them.
Tanks back and front surround
Frits, Hans and Herman.
Ttrlllns; the wires straight
Onward they navigate.
Crushing each creature that
Smells like a German.
What Is thst yellow streak
In the dim distance? Speak!
Is It a circus freak?
Has nature blundered?
Hush! 'Tls the Kaiser's kin,
Trying to follow In
Vain his retreating chin,
Small blame you wondered.
Honor the Tank Brigade!
Honor the fleet that made
Every laet boche afraid
Prussia was - sunder'd.
End all this sin with them,
Help ns to win with them.
On to Berlin with them!
War Lord, who blunderM.
Vllda S. Owena In N. T. Times.
; Boys are hard on Shoes, t
I That's why we are so par- f
! ticular in selecting all ma-
! terials that go into the
! making of these shoes. We
! know that one pair of I
! these Shoes will outwear I
! two pairs of ordinary I
Boys' Shoes and we want I
to prove it to you. I
. Boys', 1 to 5i2.. -$3.25 j
Little Men's, 9 to '1
13 82.75 I
DREXEL SHOE I
COMPANY !
m
1419 Farnam St.
Mail Orders Solicited. I
Parcel Post Paid. I
5
ilflll!fl!tl1Mtlll11!l1t!EHtlHMfMIIIltMll!ltllt-
rr
TYPEWRITERS
FOR RENT
at lowest rates. We take a great
many machines in exchange that are
yet good for long service. We of
fer these for sale at prices that will
save you a lot of money.
Central Typewriter
Exchange, Inc..
1905 FARNAM.
-why-?
NOT
tff
Gobdcompledons
mane lasting impressions
Resinol
Ointment tends to keep your skin
clear, smooth and beautiful. It also
'helps to postpone the appearance of age
that every woman dreads. Its gentle
ingredients cause it to relieve itching:
promptly and it usually succeeds in
clearing away discolorations, unsightly
blotches and other embarrassing skin
eruptions.
In to liui i U itaUrt.