The Omaha Sunpay Bee
OMAlt A, SUNDAY. MORNING, JULY 28, 1918.
Comb Honey
, , - ruimm .K-vsHfW" tvAve -mm a I a
Br JOHN H. KEARNES.
7-kEHIND the apse of the great
l basilica of St Cecilia'i new
cathedral,. Fortieth and Burt
treeti,' from 7:30 in the evening un
til the twilight glow ia absorbed in
darkness,'' every Tuesday and Friday
nights of the week, can be sensed a
peculiar blending of ' the theme of
eternal peace and a practice of the
' vt of,war.
From the sanctuary of the temple
the organ strain of a vesper hymn
breathing of peace on earth, good will
to men is born on the; evening
breeze, a brooding message of altru
ism which has passed down the chan
nels of time sine the epochal tragedy
n Calvary, i ;
'la the, field cloao by can be teen" a
little boy and his pet pup engaged in
rollicking romp, and two mites of
children in merry chase after elu
sive fireflies, which beckon them
mockingly to the furthermost reaches
.of the ground.
Soon men', of earnest visage begin
.to come onto the field, singly and in
jrroups, and all are armed with guns.
Automobiles ranging from the porta
ble: runabout ma4e by a one-time fa
mous pacifist to luxurious limousines
drive up and park on all sides the
field, the men occupants joining
those in the leld, while the women
remain seated in the cars and ply
their knitting needles assiduously as
, they wait for warlike eventualities.
The aspect of the field suddenly
,'thanges from a childish playground
to a field of Mars. The occasion is
the semi-weekly drill of Compay C of
the Omaha Home Guards, IWhen all
fcave gathered there is roll call, which
essentially a roster of leaders in
tvery profession, business and activity
of the municipality. . While all of the
men are over draft age or exempt
from military service because of some
physical defect, they look a nbbust,
rirfle, determined phalanx.
A well setup captain of the regular
army, an ideal type of officer, and sev-
The Weekly & Bumble Bee
,:,Mr'r OMAHA, SUNDAY MORNING, JULY 28, 1918.
HB WEEKLT DCMBLB BEX
A. STINGER, EDITOR. ,
Communication! on any topic
received, , without postace or
Ignatius. None returned.
NO ADS AT ANT PRICE
"Ap re
torn."
A 'dark,
" LINCOLN, .v v
gentleman
corridors
Apropos n article n n
Statins . that Abraham Lincoln
. : eras not a religious man. we
not part of a proclamation
What
lasusd by him at tho rsquest of
' tho United States , senata, ap
pointor April SO, IICS. day
"An re
r national humiliation. last'
In and prayer."
torn." ;
We
"Whereat, It la the duty of
tho natlont aa well a of men, to
dependence upon the over
mint power of Ood, to confeee
, their ilm In hombte aorrow and
, to recognise the sublime hope
no other
Charles
oi an
: announced In the Holy Scrip
Whet's
lures and proven by all history
Quired
inai those natlona only are
pleased whose Ood It the Lord,
e. ;
tone, i
"What's
"We have been the recipients
responded
tot the choicest bounties of
accusing
Heaven; we have crown In rum
the Idea
fcers, wealth and power aa no
"Why.
- finer nation has ever Brown,
Ing
Slut we have fort otten Ood. We
- base ' forgotten the gracious
, Vend that preserved us In peace
tnd multiplied and enriched
strange
tertng 7"
cuilng
"Why.
ana strengthened us and we
fcave vainly Imagined In the
: Seceltfulnets of our hearts that
M. le
eherublo
ls face,
, h'l these blessings were produced
ayvme supposed wisdom and
v. lrti of our own. Intoxicated
'l wlthfnbrolKin success, we have
JtiawHte too self-sufficient to feel
nis forred.
"French
French!
like to
those
j--"'' the necessity of redeeming and
reserving grace, too proud to
know
'ray to the God that mads us."
comets
A-
'1' KID.
him,
"Tee,
-, The federal building reporter
wny.- '
raw a i story last week In
. which she stated tnat Unite
man.
"Like
Btsieo llarahal Flynn Is "some
Jkldi for style." A a friend of
as Joy
the.marehal we wish to state
fun It
- that there Is no truth In this
whatever. Ftynn's style In dress
la the antithesis of tnat of tne
French
"Oh.
ning.
late , Beau ' Brummel Aa
mose
raconteur of funny stories and
"Well,
aa a a urn good fellow we el
-now,
mumbling
' ways found him "some kid,'
eut not m style.
French."
' Suspicious . glances went
round - the Hotel Fontenelle
means
day.-"
lobby the1 other evening as the
"It
oy paged Mr. Hamburg.'
1 PITTT.
' pld Von 'Hlndenburg
Hick oa Friday.
Died on Saturday.
we aaia.'
actly
then
In all
fect
wine:
"Apres
Mourned oa Sunday (In Gar-
temps."
Snany only)" - .
1 Burled one Vortfty,
Better ' on Tuesday,
Out on Wednesday.
"Well Tkuroda
era! sergeants appear and after cer
tain preliminaries are disposed of by
the regular officers of the company
the regular army men take charge.
' ."Awkward" squads of rookies are
told off and assigned to sergeants,
while the army captain and a sergeant
or two take charge of the more profi
cient members of the home guard and
put them through platoon drill.
It so happens that H. Edgar Greg
ory, mine host at the Hotel Fonte
nelle, and William Colfax, two men
of portly mien and prominent rejec
tions of anatomy are in the center of
respective platoons and, despite their
weight, they march with the jaunty
step end all the "pep" of men like
Dr. F r , who has a sylph-like fig
ure. .. :- -
Suddenly the order is given for the
men to come into rank in platoon
drill formation and when the evolur
tion is ended they line up in two
ranks for inspection. . .
The regular army officer glances
down the line and then calls out:
"Now, gentlemen, glance at your
alignment. Rotten, isn't it?"
Eyes turn anxiously to the right;
their is a brief inspection made by
POSTMASTER FAHNINQ
BUMBLE BEE ANSWERS
IMPORTANT, QUESTION '
ASKED BY A READER
UARNINQ TO SPEAK
THE BENCH LANGUAGE
Hit ProfTMa la Pronoun md
satisfactory, Althoach, 8.
( ar, No On b AM f
. Understand Him,
Alt Hooraw. Troubled A boot
the Location of Lake Mer-ln-Tokaa,
Is Given mil In
formatloa Concerning It. ' '
la plow as, un bo
Editor The Bumble
Sir: I see by Ths
stocky, smooth-faced
(I'm a poet; did you know It?)
that you are an authority on
walked along the
of the postofflce mut.
obscure towns and
tsrlng these mysterious words
to himself. y
I have a friend
speaks of Lake Mer-ln-Tokas.
It Is somewhere in this country
and I thought perhaps, you
might, through your valuable
were they? Hottentot.
Sanscrit, Csecho-Blovak. Rsosh
Ian, or whatf
la plow sa un ho
paper. Inform me. as
-. ) . . '
refuses to do so,
approached the ' man. the
Is such aa Important
man of mystery, tho man pos
sessing this strange power of
tongues. . And wo found It was
everybody who knows
should know that
ALT A HOORAW.
(To confess tsnoranca of the
than our' friend.
E. Fanning, postmaster
location of Lake
tne umahaa.
Is Indeed to oonfess
Ojo IdeaT" we In
all those finer
In an accusing and hurt
things, tho knowledge of which
Is the hallmark of culture. Tour
"What's the IdeaT"
statement that you
the Idea of what?"
causes ua to doubt the efficacy
of our present educational sys
the postmaster In an
and hurt tone. "What's
tem, you are
of whatT"
person of intelligence and you
write a nice hand. Tet you do
whaddya mean by so
about muttering those
not know where
Tokaa ia located. Who has not
heard of this beautiful lake
words that you are mut
we elucidated In aa ao-
which. In faot la no
and hurt tone.
thafa French." said
but rather a town
em la tho midst
Compte do Fannlna.
bills. .
smile breaking over
clear from his chin to
Lake Mer-ln-Tokas
i
made famous and
r wo 1 a n g h e d
main so aa tho birthplace y of tho
Hal Hat We'd lust
great Inventor. Hoosla Whlsslt,
hear a Frenchman hear
Hero he conducted
words. Betcha he wouldn't
nients, the simple
laughing at htm and
tney were French."
"Quelque?" asked M. 1.
sidering him mentally unbal
anced. Then the world was
startled by the perfecting of his
do Fanning.
"Quelque T" wo came back at
great Invention tor ventilating
air ships. By this device flying
cuttingly. .
- that's French for
macninea or all
eiplalned the French
types are provided
ventilation so that
fun It Is." we chuckled
grows stale in the
broke In our heart "Like
Lake Mer-ln-Tokas
Is. 'Pourquol' Is ths
ruiansgo mines
for "why "
quarries. From
yes." said Prother Fan
tne nnest rutabaroes
"Tou're right I got
nlpa In ths world are dug and
a large part of the papulation
misea.
rather," we agreed.
is engagea in tnis
dustry.
juai wnat were you
T Tom said It was
we cruet tnat this answers
your question fully and that
your friend will no longer have
reason to reflect upon your in
"Tea, sure. It'o French," stout
ly maintained - M. le Compte.
Tve got that all down fine. It
telligence. Editor.)
- . 8CH00L.
'After tho rain It la a fine
may mean that to you.1
Among tho schooiooy lore or
the 'semination papers are
these additional racts: "Walter
Scott wrote about Qullver's
travels, all about a man that
-out you Daren't ex
the Parisian accent We
said the sentence to htm
the perfection of our per
French pronunciation, thus
went among giants
' .
la plus e'est an bean
wouia pick mm
hands." "General
. .
great general ia the
"That's lust tho way I said
It" said K. la Compte do Fan
ning as he proceeded down the
corridor mattering tho eeatenoe
to himself ,
ary war., Ho aald give mo lib
erty or give - me death Re
conquered tho British and we
never had to pay
that." .
the men in the ranks and they . see
their lines winding in and out like a
letter S. Then every eye is fastened
with injured accusation at Gregory
and Colfax. The men have made the
mistake of dressing to the most
prominent point of the abdominal
curvatures of these two distinguished
citizens, with disastrous results to the
symmetry of the ranks.
Orders are again given and the men
perform all the marching evolutions
cf platoon drill and company forma
tions in sweltering: heat tor a strenu
ous half hour. They are dressed in
negligee but unwonted exercise brings
out the sweat in streams.
The nine-pound Springfield rifles,
relics of the Spanish war. bear heavily
on the shoulders and make their bear
ers painfully conscious of the location
of their clavicular anatomy. Some of
the more canny of them have taken
the precaution of padding the should
er blade with a woolen stocking or
two. and they grin while the others
suffer in silence.
A darky strolls up and glances at
the mass of perspiring men with more
than passing interest:
"Whut ahmy is dat?" he asks of
a bystander.
KAISER I
The kaiser retired to his berth-
Things were not right with
him
Ho dreamed ho waa to boss the
earth
(His chances, though, were
Slim.)
He eat himself upon a throne
His dominion seemed eternal.
(Hla throat was dry aa bone,
His stomach ached Infernal.)
Bee. Dear
Bumble Bee
He suffered very much that
night
He all hla foes had put to
plaoea.
rout
who often
(The dootor,
to appease his
fright
Diagnosed It "Too much
sauer kraut")
IKE.
my friend
saying that It
CHARLIE.
A funny book is. "Who's
plaoe thdt
anything
Who." Now, ws looked up the
name of "Chaplin." There wes
Just one person of that name
mentioned. He is a certain
Wlnfleld Scott. Chaolin. en
Uer - ln - Tokaa
Ignorartos of
gineer,,, professor of englnsering
and higher
in ma imperial university or
Japan' and other Institutions;
decorated with the Order of
Rising Sun; fellow la the Amer
lean Academy of Arts and
Sciences, etc, eta. ' But not a
word la this qussr book about
do not know
apparently
cnanie Chaplin. Tet a mil
lion people have hoard of
Lake Mer-ln
Charlie Chaplin where only
one haa heard of Wlnfleld Scott
lake at all.
Chaplin.
set like
of the blue
CORRECT.
To give' this story a local set
has been
ting, let ns say that "an Oma
ha man" waa called on by a col
will ever re
lector for his tailor, whs want
his expert
ed to know when he would ray
hla bill. "Wo have been send
villagers
many con
ing you a bill every month and
you pay no attention to It" said
ins collector.
"True." said ths 0. m.. "yon
notice It ears on the bill 'if
this ia not correct please com
municate with us.' I found he
bill correct so, of course, I did
kinds and
with perfect
the air neverl
not communicate with the
aeroplane.
tailor."
CABLE. "
haa large
aad - turnio
these soms of
A fable for war correspond
and tur
ents: Once there was a boy
wno snoutea "Wbin Wolf!1
wnen, in hci mere waa no
wolf and he would laugh at
the villagers as they rushed out
to put ths wolf to flight But
prontabls in
one day a wolf actually attack
ed the sheep. Ths boy aaouteoi
-woiil wolf!" but the vlllag'
era paid no attsntlon te him.
thinking ha waa only trying to
toot mem again.
FAIR.
Why thla alighting of Gen'
oral Ludendorf? Is there a con
spiracy among ths war corre
spondents to ignore him? Von
and they
up. in their
Hlndenburg, the csar, ths csar's
son, the kronprlnta are reported
dead nearly every week. The
Grant waa
revolution
kaiser is reported sick semi
weekly. But never a word about
UUdendort. Let's have fair nlav
taxes after
Give Ludy a little publicity once
"Company C, Home Guards,"
comes the answer.
"Company C," mused the darky.
"Dat sho'ly ought to be a good com
pany to jine. C it don't cross de sea,
an' see hit stays to home," and he
chuckled at his dubious pun.
In the meantime the details of re
cruits are drilled, some in marching
squads and others in the manual of
arms.
It is a peculiarity of the "rookie"
that he wants to learn it all at once.
He wants to spring full-fledged into
the arena of drill, a warrior armed
cap-a-pie. He is impatient of the con
stant reiteration of detail by the drill
master and he becomes irritated when
his hands, in handling the gun, are as
clumsy and as inflexible as hams.
"When I used to drill," said a man
who was a youth when Queen Vic
toria was in her girlhood, to the drill
master, "we used Hardee's tactics and
we went through the manual of arms
this way," and he made the exempli
fication, which is the reverse of mod
ern methods in every way. And all
through the evening he stuck to Har
dee's while the drill sergeant patiently
tried to bring him up-to-date.
Finally the captain took pity on his
company of sweating, dusty tyros and
ordered them to halt and be at ease.
Unlike comic opera soldiers these
men of the home guard have no pretty
vivandieres, dressed in picturesquely
abbreviated costumes to do canteen
work among them. The commissary
is attended to by a bunch of enter
prising kids who have no compunc
tions against profiteering, ihey set
up a pop stand and are soon doing a
lard office business selling sweetened
air and water at 10 cents a bottle.
A sergeant approaches and one of
the juvenile merchants calls out?
"Want a pop?"
"No." answers the sersreant. "I have
been robbed."
"Oh. you've already bought." was
the nonchalant observation of the
young profiteer.
AH the while the women in the
waiting automobiles knit and gaze
fondly on the company of husbands.
brothers and sweethearts who are en
gaged in a matter of high emprise.
Taking advantage of the halt Cap
tain Yale Holland calls attention of
his men to the fact that there have
been too many potential soldiers ask
ing for discharge. ihis is a serious
business," he says, "and we don't want
men who won't take it seriously and
stick. Hereafter we will use our dis
cretion and refuse discharges to those
who can t give a legitimate reason for
asking for one."
And it is . a serious business, al
though it has its modicum of fun. The
men who compose the company have
drilled since before Decoration day
and have attained great proficiency as'
civilian soldiers. Ihey entered the
game in a spirit of patriotism and
have replaced the Nebraska National
uuard as a police arm ot the state
government, when the latter was ab
sorbed in the national army to go
overseas to fight for world democ
racy. They are learning the fine points as
well as the rudiments of military co
ordination, and win be ready m anv
crisis demanding their services such as
great disaster or grave internal
trouble threatening the peace and
dignity of the state of Nebraska. ,
The boys of Company L do riot
have the inspiration of marching to
the lilting blare of a town band as
do most ot the home guard com'
panics out in tne state nor does it
have the excitement of chasine ma
rauding and predatory gypsy oands
from the country side, nor the strenu
ous exercise of .shocking wheat or
gathering a crop for some hard
pressed farmer, but they do enjoy the
grind of drill and the refreshinor ahow-
er bath and sweet, profound sleep that
iouows tne strenuous Hours.
Soon they will be garbed in their
uniform and will present a more mili
tary appearance. The chances are
tnat tney win then be inclined ' to
show off before a proud and admiring
populace and step down Farnam
street to the strident music of Dan
Myron Learned Thrilled
When He Snags Wolf On
Fish Line Near Florence
Myron Learned haa been anxious
to tell his thrill for a long time, but
he thought he would wait until some
of the other boys of the village had
unbosomed themselves. He averred
that his thrill has all the elements of
a genuine thrill. Riding in a ran
away flat car, drifting in a balloon or
riding on the back of a cow are, ac
cording to Learned, only circumstan
ces compared to his thrill. He told
his thrill one day to Dick Stewart,
who passed the word on to Sam
Burns, and that's how it got out.
This thrill happened a few months
ago somewhere in Nebraska. Learned
is a fisherman of the old school. He
just dotes on sitting through the
livelong day on the bank of a stream
with pole in hand and his eye on the
float.
He was in a store in Florence the
In the Night
William A. Ellis, assistant commis
sioner of the Chamber of Commerce,
lived at Seventeenth and Davenport
streets back in the earyl 90s. One
night he heard a pistol shot ring out
in the neighborhood. He rushed out
of doors and was just in time to see
a woman running around the corner
and east on Davenport street.
He ran after her as fast as he
could, when plunk down he fell,
headlong. He had tripped over some
thing on the sidewalk. He turned
around to see what it was and found
the dead body of a woman, the blood
flowing from the wound that had
caused death.
"That's the biggest thrill I remem
ber in my life," he says. "The trag
edy was a peculiar one. A woman
by the name of Smith had come over
from Council Bluffs, had called this
other woman out of the Salvation
Army headquarters on Davenport,
west of Seventeeenth street. A few
words had followed and tnen tne
Smith woman had shot the other.
The murderess committed suicide."
Dead to Life
"One of the outstanding thrills of
my life," said Billy Byrne, manager
of the Orpheum theater, "occurred
when I was 14 years old, and was the
result of seeing one of my com
panions, whom everyone thought
dead, come to life.
"When I was a boy I was a regular
amphibian, spending most of my time
cn summer days swimming in the
river. I was some swimmer, too, and
could easily swim across the Mis
souri and back.
"At that time the favorite 'swim
min' hole for Omaha lads was at the
big bend of the river, near the old
pumping station at the foot of Izard
street.
"One afternoon while swimming
with a bunch of other boys I was
startled by the cry that Charley
White, who was 12 years old at the
time, was drowning. When I reach
ed the place wheer the boys pointed
out where he had been last seen.Whe
had gone down for the third time. I
made a dive and brought him up, limp,
and apparently lifeless. I took him to
the bank and with some other boys
we worked 15 minutes before we
could start respiration. Jt seemed
uncanny when he began to cry, just
like some one brought back from be
yond the borderland of death. It gave
me a peculiar thrill that I will re
member as long as I live. He grew
up, became a plumber and was well
known here, but has since died. I
also saved the life of a printer named
Charley Bowen, in much the same
way. He died of tuberculosis some
years ago."
Sub Alarm
"What was the explosion?" ex
claimed L. C. Raymond, shaking from
head to foot and as white as a ghost
He had come down from his room in
the J. H. Knowles home on the Flor
ence boulevard, three steps at a jump
and wearing less clothing than would
have been permitted at a bathing
beach. " , , -
Raymond was a visitor at the
Knowles home. He had come in from
Kearney the night before and was en
joying a morning snooze when he was
awakened by the firing of the sunrise
gun at, Fort Omaha, a few blocks
from where he was stopping.
It took considerable explaining to
convince the Kearney man that each
morning in the year Uncle Sam calls
his soldier boys out of bed by firing
of a cannoth The explanation was sat
isfactory, however, but at the break
fast tab , Raymond explained that
when he was awakened bv the cannon.
he thought that a submarine had come
up the Missouri river and was bom
barding the city; that an airplane
was shelling the town, or else a Ger
man mine had been exploded in the
neighborhood of where he was stop-
first time he told this story. He held
a sack of lemon drops in hislhand
while he unfolded this thrilling yarn.
The little audience was all ears while
the Omaha lawyer related the de
tails of the great thrill of his life.
T was fishing one day," he began,
"and my luck seemed ar ,ii.t me until
something happened. I was casting
at the time. In the murky water I
noticed something in the distance
which appeared like a fish. I threw
the line with all my might. The hook
landed on the object I had the range
exactly and my aim was perfect. I be
gan to pull in and I pulled and pulled
and pulled until I thought that my
line would break. I was all excited
like. The day was dissolving into
twilight. Well, what do you think I
had on that hook? I had snagged a
poor wolf that was swimming around
in the water. I brought the creature
in and turned him loose'.'
"That was a thriller, all right,"
agreed the Careful Observer as he in
serted his right hand into the bag of
lemon drops and extracted three of
the confections.
"Was the wolf hurt very much?"
asked the Oldest Inhabitant.
Call By Cop
A stitch in time not only saves nine,
but it may keep a man out of jail. This
is the conclusion of C. H. English,
chief executive of the Boy Scouts, aft
er a little session with a police of
ficer one night last week.
Mr. English wears a uniform re
sembling that of an army officer, ex
cept for the insignia on his left arm
and the letters "B. S. A." standing for
Boy Scouts of America, on each cor
ner of his standing collar. Ordinarily
the chief executive is an exceptionally
neat man in regard to his dress, but
he is also an extremely busy man, so
when this little metal sign came off
the right corner of his collar the other
day, he delayed in replacing it.
That evening he met a policeman,
who passed him on the right side.
After passing, the policeman came
back and touched Mr. English on the
shoulder. "What are you doing in
that uniform?" he questioned, "I'll
have to know what right you have to
be wearing it?" Now masquerading
as an army officer is a verv serious of
fense, and Mr. English admits that he
was startled for a moment. Then he
Dethought him of turning the other
side toward the policeman, whereupon
the insignia and B. S. A. were visihle
The officer looked and humbly apolo-
gizea, Dut tne chief executive of the
Boy Scouts intends to se that KU
official emblems are all in place here
after, i
A Fish Story
James Walsh, formerly of the vil
lage of Benson and now of the metro
politan city of Omaha, believes that
he experienced one ofthe most thrill-,
ing of thrills. It occurred when, he
was tarpon fishing down in the Gulf
of Mexico. Mr. Walsh accounts him
self some taropn fisher and his pisca
torial accomplishments while in
veigling this king of game fish would
fill a book if chronicled.
Tarpon weigh from 75 to 17S
pounds and their chief peculiarity is
to jump into the air, land in a boat
and strike their captor with their tail.
They have leaping propensities. This
sport is attended by many dangers.
Various tarpon fishers have been se
verely wounded and the annals of
this sport record several fatalities.
One fisherman was knocked prone in
his boat when a fighting tarpon leap
ed into his craft and gave him a
broadside wit hhis tail.
On one occasion Mr. Walsh had a
big fellow on his line. He played the
line for several hours and had the
big fish within a few feet of the boat,
thinking he had Mr. Tarpon ready
for the count, but in less time then
it takes to say "Jack Robinson," the
fish leaped into the boat and gave
the Omaha angler a rap on the ribs.
Mr. Walsh'a companion dealt the
fish a blow with an axe and that put
a quietus on this representative of
the tarpon family. v ,
"But if you want a real thrill," re
lated Mr. Walsh, "just engage your
self with a tarpon in a boat You will
never forget it." ; 1
. A Mistake.
Tommy Atkins 'Ere, t say, orderly,
I've got palna all over me an' all I'm
gettin' Is two or three little tablets a
day.
Orderly That's all right, my man;
the medical officer is treating you for
gastritis.
Tommy Gastritis! I bloomin' well
knew something was wrong. Why, I
ain't been, gassed. Boston Transcript
Food for Marines. '
Ancient Mariner Tou arst me ave
I ad any adventures Wy, I should
rather think X 'ave. Dfyou know that
once when 2 was wrecked, and we'd
eaten all our food, we ate ur belts?
His Victinv-No!
Ancient Mariner Fact me lad. An"
when we'd eaten onr belts, th' boat
what we was In turned turtle, an' 'an
BY EDWARD BLACK.
Home Life of the Leffingwells.
Henry Leffingwell was billeted in
his easy chair, breathing blithely and
musing on the halcyon days when he
sampled sausage at a meat market
wifcout moral turpitude or causing
the custodian of the mart to be strick
en with hysteria. He opened an old
book and turned to "Old Dan Tuck
er," which was one of his favorite
tunes when he was a village cut-up
back in Indiana. Through his mind
the old refrain returned out of the
dim past:
"So get out de way, Ole Dan Tuck
er, get out de way, Ole Dan Tucker,
get out de way. You're too late to
come to supper."
Memories of the tune brought back
recollections of the store where he
and compatriots of his youth were
wont to foregather to adjust national
problems, discuss politics and the
weather and Fletcherize the latest
bit of village gossip.
Curiosity is Aroused.
Mrs. Leffingwell was sitting on her
kitchen porch, at the close of a day
of essential industry. One of the
cares of the day had been the guard
ianship of a pet dog of a friend who
had called in an automobile and had
driven away without the animal. The
presence) of a canine at the Leffing
well cabin aroused the interest of
some of the neighbors, among whom
was Mrs. What's-Her-Name, whose
curiosity was as rampant as a crew
of farm hands when the dinner bell
rings. The neighbor romped over
from her home to have a little tete-a-tete
with her friend.
"I see that you have a dog at your
house," was the playful salutatory of
the neighbor who refers to her hus
band as "my man," Mrs. Leffingwell
received her caller with mental reser
vation, hut put on the best face she
could, just to maintain neighborly
amenities.
Paradoxical Reply.
.Yes, I have a dog and yet 1
haven t a dog," was the paradoxical
reply, followed by a detailed expla
nation of the presence of a dog at the
Leffingwell rendezvous.
"Oh, I thought that you had bought
a dog. Do you know that my man
will not have a dog around the place?"
was the next cerebral manifestation
of the neighbor.
The reference to "my man" got on
Mrs. Leffingwell's nerves. She had
thought several times that she would
chide her friend on this tnHlfuvnrraev
but on second thought she decided
that discretion would be the better
part of valor. But it did get on her
nerves, almost as much so as the
habit of another neighbor who was
minus one upper front tooth, which
incisory vacancy caused a whistling
sound to accompany every third or
fourth word uttered. To have a per
son whistle and talk to her at the
same time was about the height of
dissonance, she thought. In fact, she
believed that it was uncouth. So,
when Mrs. What's-Her-Name ful
minated about her man, she suffered
mental rebellion. Mrs. Leffingwell
would no more have referred to the
generalissimo of her hearth as "my
man"' than she would have thought
of telling the ice man what
thought of him.
In Moody Calm.
The neighbor moved out of ti.s.
presence and mind of Mrs. Leffing
well, who bethought herself that it
was about time to give heed to the
creature comforts of the man who
kept the Leffingwell larder filled. She
had observed that her quartermaster
was in one of his moody calms which
generally preceded an outbreak of
oratory. As he sat in his throne-seat,
he reminded her of an armchair
strategist she had read of in a news
paper. In repose Henry Leffingwell
presented an imposing figure, but in
action he was not always up to his
wife's highest ideals of dignity.
She approached the presence of her
lord and master with misgivings. Wil
lie and Mary retired to the front
porch to attune their ears to the on
coming paternal sound waves:
"I believe it is going to rain," re
marked Mrs. Leffingwell, intent upon
opening the meeting with a good will
offering.
"Yes, it will rain when the moisture
I which is suspended in the upper atmos-
pucrc is at ine point oi precipitation,
Leffingwell replied, imperiously. "But
I am not thinking of rain at this mo
ment; there is something of greater
moment on ray mind, and it is that he
Leffingwells shall dominate th-ir own
live's. I want the members of this
household to be dominant over every
task they undertake, to rise above and
beyond the petty annoyances and .rri
tations of the day and to be real domi
nant members of society. If we are
to succeed in that which we undertake,
we must dominate the situation, which
requires exercise of the will and .he
cultivation of perseverance. It is all
a matter of practice at first, and after
practice it. will become a habit, a mas
ter of course."
Willie Wants to Know.
"Say, pa," Willie yelled imperti
nently through a front screen, "if I
should stay in bed until a late hour
every morning, would I be a member
Qjf the laity?"
Henry Leffingwell frowned upon his
male progeny and continued: "I
don't want you to confuse dominating
with domineering, but I merely wish
the, Leffingwells to be dominant by
reason of the use of their talent. Re
member that heaven helps those who
help themselves and that your talents
are increased by use."
"Henry Leffingwell," began his -vife
wi. i a diinating look upon her face,
"I think that you need another fever
powder. I, don't believe that i
could dominate ,,a lemonade stand
without calling tOi me for help. I
think you had bet 'ir get out u :he
lawn and dominate the garden hose
and then report to me."
Leffingwell's training had taught
him to obey orders from his super
iors, so he was not long aroearing
on the lawn rs a dominating1 Pgure
with the hose. Mrs. Leffingwell domi
nated the situation by seeing hat
Henry made the most of his talents.
"Your man is quite t worker," was
the comment - of Mrs. What's-rier-Name
as she walked by on her way to
an apothecary shop to buy a fly swat-
ts.
saw
.uesdunes band,
Aping,
J to we ata that! Chicago New
. -
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