The Omaha ;..SDj;,-BBB'
OMAHA, SUNDAY MORNING, JULY. 7, " 1918. - '
1
v
I Hnmli TTnnpv I
pipeisafm
Stranded
Robert D. Neely, United States
commissioner, . had just graduated
from the Omaha High school. He
was 16 years 'old and decided that
Omaha was too small a place for him
' to stay in. . ..
So, without the aid or consent of
his parents, he departed with two
other boys for the south. They ar
rived in New Orleans, penniless and
hungry.
Robert "met up" with a man who
had a wonderful money-making pro
position. It was an "article that
should be in every home," a sort of
combination turnip knife, nail file,
fish-scraper, potato masher, hair
brush contrivance. The man told how
housewives bought it on sight and in
fact almost fought for the privilege
of gettiig it. Profits were enormous.
Robert and some other youths went
with the man to Lake Charles, 150
miles north of New Orleans, where
they , star ted a .house-to-house can
vass with the wonderful invention.
But the campaign to put "one In
every home" wasn't a success. Robert
soon found that housewives could get
along very well, without the invention.
In fact, nobody bought and some
--even slammed the door.
' Then came the thKJI -the traveling
man . disappeared, leaving our hero
- w
. penniless, a thousand miles from
home, and longing greatly for the
fleshpots of Omaha,
lie told his sad story to a travel
ing man who staked him to enough
to get back to New Gleans. There
he got a job of regular work, worked
two months and with, his savings trav
eled back to Omaha.j where the tatted
calf was killed and he has lived hap
pily ever after.'-"
VOICES OF THE NIGHT '
A male resident of the Hanscom
park district, whose saving grace is a
sense of humor, has cultivated a habit
of quoting Shakespeare to suit certain
domestic situations. A "few nights
ago, while pacing the quarterdeck with
J a fretful infant in his arms he awak
ened n's wife with these lines:
- ''I m Uiy fntber'a plrlt, ;
SoomM for a cerUtn term to walk tha
nlirht, v .. r . ... - ....... .
- And for tha day eohfinad to faat In flrat,
Till tha fool crlin, dona la my daya of
natura, ..
Ar burned and parted away.
OMAHA,
The Weeklv"&
INTERESTING FAtTS
Bumbla Be
THE WEEKXX BUMBLE BEE
A. STINGER. EDITOR.
Communication! on any topic
recti vad, without poatafa or
alfnatura. Nona returned. .
NO ADS AT ANT PRICE
reallitng
.. Editor of Tba Bumbla Bea: I
with to lat the ponla know
No other
through your papor of tha dta-
ha
graceful, conduot of aoma wo
i live near my home.
The other renin I went Into
a moving picture how la my
neighborhood. ' I had not been
In one for a month, but felt that
1 needed aome way to paaa the
evening. I wain't much more
than eeated than aome women
behind ma began talking about
me and alanderlng me. "If i
nice ta let youn.wlfe and chil
dren ait at home while you go
off to tha movie," gald one.
"Anything to aave a nickel."
another of theae creaturea aald.
"I know aome people that ain't
fit to II." aald the flrat. There
were ether ahameleaa remark!
like .thla. , ,
Finally my pride came to my
reecue and I turned and glared
at them. Toll didn't atop them
and finally I turned and told
them I would call the proprietor
of tha enow if they did not atop
their Intuiting remark.
Thla atarted other to talking.
Tha thing they aald about me
weuld make any man mad. I
Immediately went and appealed
to the proprietor. Thla fellow
waan't gentleman any mora
than they acre ladiea. If you
don't like Tt here you can get
out and you don't need to come
In again, either," he eeld.
t told him I had paid to
hi ahow and waa going to ae
It. "Well, here'i your nickel,"
he aald, Ae the contemptible
creaturea were yelling at me, I
toek tha money and left.
It'a getting pretty bad when
Tba
ketch ta
posed to
Ho naa
day.
He does
talned at
Welch'
cafe.
office are
He ha
ter from
putlpoor.
He I a
accident,
form of
He haa
other large
lie never
com arch
piece of
world.
morning.
a working man can't go Into a
place Ilk that and reat after
a hard day' work. : If I tak
my whole family It coata II
centa It don't hurt anybody
if I go in one or twice a month.
Aa a cltlaen of Omaha I hare
the right to protection, and if
uck thing are allowed ' tha
place ought to bo closed up
by the police.
A, B. UICKEU
' CRIMINOLOGY. m
K la not a crime
T murder tba king's Eng.
llh "
"To ateal away."
"To break Into print
aouinern
ere with
log.
To take leave of your
irina."
, "To forge ahead."
"Ta dlnturb eiumben."
. magasfn
soldier's
. "7 cut your acg.ualutanca."
taaa 7
7 f.,
In Ottumwa
We quote the following foreword of
a news story which recently appeared
in an Ottumwa paper:
"It has been a ..veird, wickedly
wanton week for Ottumwa in the
chambers of the city police court, at
the township justice offices, in hotels
and every way in which you turn. .
Nobody is happy. Now and then a
smile lighting up the face of a litigant,
a prosecutor, a lawyer as he delivers
a quip to opposing counsel, but all is
transitory and unsettling.
Ottumwa has been in the grip
feudist, of accused criminals, of politi
cal figures seeking after the flesh
pots of the state and always the old,
old story of wine, women and ribaldry.
Ottumwa is surfeited with the
riotous and sensational elements of
humanity, the sweepings of the race
dignified in court assemblage, only
now and then by a credible witness,
occasionally by the attorney who is
able to withstand; the tumult ' and
shock strain of salacious testimony.
PUMPING AZONE
"Doe, what's on the other end of
thla tube with which you supply your
famous ozone inhalations ?"
"It opens Into my garden, which
contains an unlimited quantity of
good fresh air." Baltimore Ameri
can. . "-.-. A. ' ,
SUNDAY MORNING, ' JULY
ARTISTIC SOUL OF AN
ARTIST IS COMFORTED '
BY EXERCISE 0? HIS ART
Garbage Can (or Kefuie Reeep
t taele) Is Camouflaged and
No Longer Jar Aei- '
thetlo Sense.
The artist io aoul f Doana
Powell wa tortured by the light
of a garbag can no, no, w
should say a refuse receptacle,
which stood In tha back yard
of hi horn at Thirty-third and
Martha street.
It stood on high ground. In
plain sight of Martha street and
of Thirty-third street; also In
plain sight of the neighbor and
of the PoaasJl family and of
Artlet Powell.
And his artlatle aoul wa tor
lured. How, oh, how could ha
find a way out. The refuse
receptacle could not be dl
carded, else whore could refuse
b put. . t
And hi artlstlo aoul writhed.
Ahl A brain-child sprang to
life. Why not camouflage the
refuse receptacle T
The artist Immediately ap
proached the receptacle and be
gan to touch It up with graen
and red and brown palnta to
match the foliage of a nearby
bush. The effect waa marvelous.
"From tha street you can't
tell that the receptacle Is
there." reports Doane PowelL
And hi artlstlo soul Is no
longer tortured. -
CONCERNING SOME
LEADING CITIZENS
Inaugurate New
Serlee, Starting Off with
Facta About Mr. Jo
; aeph Barker,
What la o Intereetina a lit
tle, Intimate facta about promi
nent people T The Bumble Bee.
thla, inaugurate a .
riei of article about aom of
our leading eitlien.
paper that we know
done anything of thl
aort The Bumbl Be, ono
more, b!ie the way. The
Bumbl Be lead other follow.
ubeov of our flrat
Mr. Joeeph Barker of
the iniuranea f lrra of Foeter
Barker company.
Mr. Barker 1 unalterably op
Piccadilly collar.
never run a foot raoa
down Farnam itreet In the
middle of the day.
not look with favor
upon the klr' plan for
world domination.
Mr. Barker ha never enter-
a dinner-danc at
It a common sight to see
him entering or leaving tha
Brandela building, where his
located.
never received a lit
the llahnraja of Rath-
.' DECK.
Firemen were not the only
one Injured as a result of the
firs Tuesday. Twelve Elk who
were playing card in the build
ing In the wee small hours
when the firs 'broke out armed
themselves with soma tooth
some sweets before again greet
ing their bettor halve after the
"expoee" of their nocturnal
pursuit In Tha Bee. Cohn. ,
" CITE. . ; ' "
A bit of friendly repartee
firm believer in fir.
tornado and other
Iniurane.
been in Chicago and
eltle frequently.
considered the Wei-
the most beautiful
architecture In the
He enjoin . a bath aver
Hi name I entirely un
known among the people of
Portugal, Bpaln and portion of
the Sandwich Island.
He is not a regular reader of
tlw Seattle Post-Intelligencer.
.V COASTEB.
Doana Powell, having evU
dently pnt the previous even
ing at Krug park or Lake Man
awa, entered our sanctum, re
moved hi pip from hi anten
na and observed: "Why do
they call them gravity rail
roader I should think they
would call 'em hilarity rail
roads." Then he walked sadly
away. ...
. TRUTH.
overheard at tba Chamber of
Commerce:
"Give htra my regard.
WMUl, JUk. r . .1 1 IU.1
I will, Fred. X
makea him alck."
BOCIETT.
It I more than probable that
all of the rumor concerning As
sistant County Attorney 'Qen
O Sulllvmn are true. And she's a
Titian fair at that! Kearna.
(Later-They're married now.)
rniXIXG. r::'
"Buy food with vhought;
cook it with eare," says the
food administration's alogan.
Unfortunately we have to buy It
with, money and vook It with
coal or gas. .
. ' , teabL ' -
A building formerly used as a
saloon at Ninth and . Dougla
streets bear the elgn above It
door. "A. D. im." Do you n
the oddity of that, or don't youT
The movie teach u that all
gentlemen are widow
on beautiful daughter.
Somewhere In the flllum the
daughter muat appear In riding
aged'.
According to the picture an
covers, the American
mother ia never lea
yean !.
BOSSIZ!
CtTY'BOOB
DRESSED
F0f
PART
Ti'VSY fyf j t
Executed by Chloroform,
"Nan" Dreams of Those
She Lured to Bloody Death
Mrs. "Nan" Capricorn, a female of
the species, who had lured unlimited
thousands to a quick and bloody
death, was executed with chloroform
at South Omaha the other day.
The putting to death of "Nan," who
had led countless ' lambs to the
slaughter, was not an act of retribu
tion, but rather one of mercy. She
had outlived her day of usefulness and
there were some who'mourned her
end.
"Nan" was the most orivileced
character at the sheep barn in the
South Omaha stock yards. When
she was vountr and frisky she was
sent to the yards to be converted into
camouflage lamb, for she was only a
goat. -'.
But she had a strong personality
and she was selected from among a
herd of others to act as the lead goat
in luring flocks of lambs and sheep
from the pens, in the stock yards,
through the chutes, to the slaughter
ing floor of the packing house.
T'Nan" was one of the oldest of the
Bumble Bee
7, 1918.
UFE,
The enraptured reporter of
"Weptern Hotel and Travel"
gushes as follows:
"A typlcsl day at del Coron
ado; A bath, shave and stroll
In the bright and bracing sun-and-sea
osone as a breakfast
appetiser: the dally In. the
lounge or on the plana; the
forenoon at gblt and In the
plunge; luncheon; tha afternoon
In the auto; from 4 to 6 at
the del torro matinee and cir
cus tea; In the eun or under a
canopy umbrella on the seaside
terrace; a fox-trot or glide In
the casino dansant; the concert
dinner; at S and after in the ro
tunda, lounge, ' corridor, rard
roome, tete-a-tetes, the day's
movies or at the feature ball.
Rvery day ta a ' dream at the
del Coronado."
EXCUSE.
That waa a fin reason the
bakers gave In asking permis
sion to rals tha price of bread.
They said they wanted to do it
so they would have trior money
to . Invest In Liberty bonds.
With such a laudable purpose
In view why not let them raise
the price to 25 centa or more a
lost? Then they would have
till more money to Invest in
Liberty bonds.
ESTIMATE.
Twenty-seven thousand glrla
work In the Woodmen of the
World building. Ve made thla
calculation whlle waiting for
an elevator in the lobby Just
before I p. in.
LACGHTEB.
Tha Barber Creamery Supply
company doe buslnes in Chi
cago. W wonder if thl ac
count for the hair In the butter.
Teeheel
V SUGGESTIVE.
Hint to eubreporter: When
Writing a atofy about a "funny"
nama, why not atart It - off
with a quotation from Shakes
pear. "What's in a name!"
Oeorg.
v LOFTY. '
"He's got awful high Ideals."
we heard one girl nay to an
other on Farnam street. W
wondered which adjecttv had
the most emphasis.
will If It
COMBINE.
Harry TedroW baa Just been
appointed United Statea attor
ney for Colorado. His name
looks . like a Teddy-Woodrow
compromise.
" TWO. , -A
man by the nama at FRED
HUNTER haa been granted a
permit to operate a soft drink
parlor. (By city council.) "
. BREAD. '.
A few million Vienna loaves
would be welcomed inVIenna
theee day. Black.
A fool and his money r soon
parted especially if there Is a
uomai '
(ltlrii youse
renemoep .
to feed Hi
pfs their
Armour employes, for she entered the
yards and the service of the company
in 1902. bhe immediately took up
her duties as a 'scapegoat and had
done good service ever since.
She was the mother of a big flock
of kids, whom she trained in her line
of work, and they all successfully
passed the apprentice degree and are
now full fledged members of the
guild. .
There have been other "leader"
goats in the yards, but "Nan," who
was a virile and intelligent animal,
outlived them all.
When in her prime she attracted
the attention of the late P, D. Ar
mour, who was interested in the
workmanlike way in which she did
her daily task, and he gave orders
that no person in his employ, or in
the hire of his corporation should
lay his hands in wrath upon the
beast, no matter what her shortcom
ings. She was his especial protege
and from the time his ukase was
mentioned to the time of the execu
tion of "Nan" P. D. Armour's word
was law, though the man who gave
the word had. been in his grave for
many years.
After "Nan" had become old and
decrepit, and it was seen her day of
usefulness was past, she was given a
clean, airy and comfortable pen in
the sheep barn and fed on the sweet
est alfalfa and bran mashes that
could be procured. She had earned
rest and comfort, and it was given
her until the time life became a bur
den to her, when her pen was made
intff a lethal chamber and on euthe
nasia principles she was tenderly
chloroformed and translated to the
goat heaven. ,
Her remains were buried with
some ceremony in a special cemetery
maintained for goats by the Armour
Packing company, and a marker, de
scribing her.-virtues, was placed at
her head.
Rcquis cat. in peace, Mrs. Nan-j
Capriiorn. .
Passports. Necessary for Travel
During Civfl War
BSS
XJ. S. MARSHAL'S
Draft regulations are riot nearly as
hard on the general public now as
they were in the time of the civil war.
Many have forgotten, it they ever
Under a Pile
Dean s Ringer, city commissioner.
had one of the real thrills of hjs life
during his foot ball days. He was
playing guard with the Cornhuskers
and the game was on Northrup field,
Minneapolis. He told about it:
"I went down Under a line smash
and was under the pile. I had to use
every muscle to keep myself from go
ing flat I knew that if I relaxed I
might have suffered a broken neck. It
was a thrilling time for a few mo
ments and I will never forget it. My
back was sore for three days. I be
lieve that was a greater thrill for me
than when the election returns came
in on May ?' f
PAVUGHT
W l L-fy 7 W Y-
hoi sii , -
' I
fillpil!i
5$
win
BY EDWARD BLACK.
Thirty years ago, more or less, a
boy entered a grocery store ia Blair,
Neb., and bought a gallon of molas
ses. The lad was bare-footed and he
wore a large straw hat
"I am going to have a grocery store
some day," he remarked to the store
keeper as he scanned the rows of
canned goods, sacks of provisions and
a showcase filled with candy and
cigars. i
The youngster was Tom Quinlan.
Everybody in Blair knew him as Tom
and they call him Tom to this day.
The store proprietor was J. Estaque
who was so impressed with the boy
that he offered to negotiate for his
services, lorn was elated, tie took
the job right away, hurried home
with the molasses and returned to tell
the boss he was ready to prove that
no mistake had been made in hiring
him. ; .
He had worked in a Blair canning
Under Draft Law
OFFICE.
t$6 7.
'tt&mJ&r S. Marshal
knew, how difficult it was for a man
of draft age to travel during our big
family quarrel. The accompanying
photograph shows a passport now in
the possession of an Omaha man,
given him by an old friend who was
a young" man in Milwaukee in 1862.
This man, Mr. Potter, was obliged
to make a business trip to New York,
stopping off at one or two points in
Canada. He experienced considerable
difficulty in getting the passport, but
without it he would have been liable
to arrest as a draft evader at any
point where he might have' attracted
the attention of officials.
L ' THE LIMIT N
"Joslar, do you mean to say you
come home without havln' that tooth
out?"
"I do. The dentist warn't there.".
"Why In' the world didn't you wait
for him?"
"Gosh darn It, I did for two hours.
I don't mind waltin' a reasonable
length o' time fr a man, but I don't
perpose to intern for nobuddy." Bos
ton Transcrii
, .S3
.(jotodB
Tom
factory for short periods of time, but
this store position was his first steady
job and the beginning of his career. He
was paid $3 per week to start His
duties were to keep the store clean,
get potatoes out of the cellar and de
liver orders with a horse and wagon.
He did it all and then came to the
boss for more work to do. He made
himself so valuable that J. Estaque
and company noticed their business
was increasing. It was not long be
fore he was paid $5 a week. He
learned to know every part of Jie
stock and the prices. He took an in
terest in the business and the business
took an interest in him.
When the Estaque company moved
to Lake City, Ia., they took Tom
Quinlan with them because Tom had
made himself part of the business. He
drew trade through his genial manner
and his efforts to please patrons.
Tom was getting along nicely at
Lake City until an Omaha friend one
day told him that such an ambitious
boy as he was should find his place
in the sun in Omaha. The friend
spoke to an Omaha business man who
needed just such a worker as Tom
Quinlan. The Blair boy went from
Lake City to Omaha for less pay to
start with, but it was not many
months before his Lake City pay was
doubled. He had the faculty of mak
ing himself so useful that his boss
continued to increase his pav for fear
somebody else would. After many
years of service with Hayden Bros,
Tom joined the Brandeis'forces, until
he attained his present position "of
general manager of the Brandeis
stores.
When he was a youth in Blair he
cherished ambitions to become great
baseball player. He was a bush
leaguer, playing with a Blair team
as catcher.) but a mercantile career
cut short his ambitions to be a hero of
the diamond.
Tom's schooldays in Washington
county were not marked 'by any ex
traordinary events Some of the old
timers recalled that on Friday after
noons Tom could be depended on to
speak a piece when the school direc
tors called around. He enjoyed out
door activities, but was not much of a
boy to mingle, with the girls. .The
teacher punished him one day y
making him sit in the same seat with
a girl. He was one of the best fishers
among the boys of his time in Blair
and he could climb a tree faster than
any man or beast ever seen in Wash
ington county. .
Tom Quinlan now owns a farm at
Elk. City whither he journeys every
day after work to enjoy life with his
family and pets. He has some fine
saddle horses and every now and then
likes to get out for a few hours fishing
or trap shooting. Gerald, John and
Tom, jr., his boys, have horses and
ride with dad.
Tom said that the value of time
has been the ruling passion of his life.
Making the best use of time, he said,
has enabled him to achieve Lis am
bitions. He has a natural ability of
remembering -names and faces an J
likes to be known as Tom by all a' his
friends.
nntrritin er . rTr
"It can. be done. Yes. I believe thar
it is possible to reform a 'husband. I
have been at it for 20. years and have
not despaired, for I am beginning to
think that I have Henry on the way
to submission. vHe shines his boots
every Sunday now without being re
minded and he has gotten jover the
habit of whistling at the dinner table,"
was me repiy. i
awtui state of excitement- A haste
looked through his eyes, as Shakes- '
peare would have said. Two large
dogs were chasing him. He had tried
to separate the fighting canines and
had been rewarded by the animals
stopping their sanguinary differences
to take after him. He opened the'
kitchen door and closed it after him
quicker than any jack-in-the-box seen
since the days of the Hanlon brothers
in pantomime. One of the dogs be
longed to Mrs. What's-Her-Name and
the other to the woman whose hus
band's years had been adversely dis
cussed. Leffingwell's unwonted spontaneity
""sed the woman to laugh. Mrs.
What s-H-er-Name was moved to say
gosh ' and to place a handkerchief
to her mouth lest unseemly merri
ment might cause an estrangement
between neighbors.
Mrs. Leffingwell thought that it was
about time to join her husband and
manifest an interest in the affair
which had caused him to move as -fast
as he did on the day when he
was caught in the rain four blocks
from his bed and board and wearing '
Ins new brown derby hat.
"I did my best," was the greeting
she received whenHenif raised his
eyes and beheld his helpmate. "We
should always give a person' credit '
for hkving done his best," he contin
ued, and we should not be in haste
to impugn his motives or to discredit
his efforts. Always place the best
construction you can on the actions
of others and ascribe the best inten-:
tion. Remember that everybody is ,
trying to do his best i and that ii
man's a man for a' that" ' .
"But sometimes one misplaces his' '
efforts to do tile best thing. I doubt
whether trying to separate a pair of
fighting curs is worthy of the best ef
forts of the Leffingwells I think
mat you might have been better em
ployed here at home, trying to dispel
some of the gloom or picking bugs
from the potato vines," his wife re
torted. V
. "And yet, Madam Leffingwell, you
must admit that when the good in
tention is there and the heart is right, ',
the end justifies the means," Henry
added.
"You made a good finish, all right,
dad; guess you made that dash for
home in nothing fiat," Willie chirped '
from behind a screen.
"I want the Leffingwells to do their
level best, to get a good start in
everything that they do, and to put
their best foot forward in every ef- -fort,
whether it is a humble task or
some great undertaking. I want them,
to look before they leap and to be
Sure that they are right and then to
go(ahead and do their best. There
must be no dilettantes among the Lef-
fingwells," was the conclusion cV
Henry's didactic discourse. "
"It's your bed time, Henry, and I
want you to arise early tomorrow
morning and do your best , to pit.
some cherries before you go to work.
The, path to a more or less well
known winter resort is paved with
good intentions, but the cherries must
be pitted and there must be no
dilettantes amnog the Leffingwells
during the canning reason," Mrs. Lef
fingwell sajd with an air of finality.
"Good night nurse!" wa w;iu'
benediction, while Mary struck up, '
"Now the Day isver" on her piano.
V CURIOSITY SATISFIED
"John," queried his wife. "If noms
bold, bad man were to kldnnn m.
vould you offer a reward?"
"Certainly." he responded. ' al
ways reward those who do me '
avor." Boston Transcript
oy jymrAiuj smivam j.
Home Life o! the Leffingwells. '
Mrs. Leffidgwell had canned two
baskets of cherries, in addition to per
forming her regular household duties,
which constituted a day's work, ac
cording to her best calculations. So
she decided to call it a day. She was
in the back yard, watering her flower
garden when Mrs. What's-Her-Name
came bounding o'er the greensward
with insouciance and a new pair of .
pumps. Mrs. Leffingwell paid her
devoirs with forced amiability, know
ing that the worst was to come, be
cause Mrs. What's-Her-Name was at
her best at a time when most women
were ready to check out of the kitchen
and enjoy a game of pinochle or sit
on the front porch and count the auto
mobiles rushing by.
- "You know the neighbor who has
the "twins, the one who recently
moved next door io us, don't you?
Well, what do you think, that woman
is a human questionnaire. She asked
me whether my man wore a wig and
whether we had any children. I was
just dying to ask her whether she
was older than her husband, for I be
lieve she is, by the way jshe bosses
him around. I feel sorry for that
man, don't you?" spoke forth the vis
iting neighbor.
Mrs. Leffingwell had not been ia'
the habit of being concerned about
the relative ages of the husbands and :
wives of the neighborhood. She be
lieved that if a woman wished to mar
ry a man younger than herself that
was her own business and should not
cause an epidemic of insomnia in the
neighborhood. She did not care
whether the man in question was
young enough to be the grandsoa of
his wife, just so long as he brought
the groceries home regularly and did
not violate the Reed amendment
"I have never given much thought '
of the relation of age to domestic
happiness. It is largely a matter of
temperament, of compatibility. Some
women could not get alng with the
best men that ever lived, while other
women could get along with any old
kind of bipeds. Some. women are- of
the clingingMvy species and others'
rule the roost There is no account--ing
for tastes, as the old woman said
when she kissed the cow," was Mrs.
Leffingwell's mild rejoinder.
"I think that my-man is deceiving
me, the neighbor continued. "I be- .
heye he is. smoking cfearets again
and is keeping it from me. Do yon
behtye in marrying a man to reform
A terrible .noise in the alley dis
turbed the. conversation. Leffingwell
came runninir toward th hnne Tn
J!
