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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (May 9, 1918)
THE BEE: OMAHA, THURSDAY, MAY 9, 1918. 'The Omaha Bee 1 PAIL (MORNING) EVENING - SUNDAY 'V FOUNDED BY EDWARD ROSE WATER VICTOR ROSEWATER. EDITOR THK BEE PUBLISHING COMPANY, PROPRIETOR. Entered at Omaha postoffiea a eacond-daaa matter. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION .Br Carrier. B Mill. 0l! and Sunday parwee.15e retreu.ttM Oetty arUbrat Bund-j " Erasing and Sunday " Wa Krcntnc without Sunday 5 , SeodnoUc of ehsoie of address of Irregularity la deurery to Omaha lite Circulation Ueperuaenu MEMBER OP THE ASSOCIATED PRESS ' ' file a silted Frees, of which The Bee 1 a menber. Is eae luslwlf ' sttodw M om (or pobllcaUoe. of all am dispatches eredlted i MM Mt b Ise credited la thla par, and also Ux IweJ new pabUened kemn. AU lUhte af publloettoo at our apeolel dispatches i ere also wasrtsd. REMITTANCE ! Remit at draft express or pottai order. Only I and t-oent ata- ! ut ta m mt of smell aoo 400 .0 1.00 ! Omaha aad eastera ezebanee, not eocepteo. Ill l u wasr " - aoooonta. Panooal eneek, ntxsA aa OFFICES ' ! O-Ha-JTba Bs Bulldlna, CbUiPrl.'l 0 Bulldlae. .J Smith Ommha-aii N St. 2Lew7,r,hV8 ! Council Bloffe-H K. Mala K ? JK"Bi Comawroa, ! Linoola MM la Building, Wsahkntoa Ull O St. ' i CORRESPONDENCE ktortm oMrmleatloiii relating to at i and adltorial outtai W . Oautta Bee, Xdttortal Department. " - APRIL CIRCULATION. - Daily 67,265 Sunday 57,777 t aga atotolaUoa fur ejentfc, subserlbsa aad tat ra tt bf DwlgM " WiUiema, Ctrculetloa Manner. Snbaerlba-t leaving tba city ahould hava Tba Bm mailed ta tba . Addre aa changed aa altaa aa rmjutatad. THE BEE'S SERVICE FLAG "Well, io long-, Jim take keer o yerself." For the winner., "eTen" it the talismanic number, all right. Now let have a new deal in the city hali but also safe and aane. Mayor "Jim" might recall that old adage "The pitcher goea to the well till It breaks." Things must be going pretty well for England, if the leaden over there can take time to fight amongst themselvei. . - Roumania, engulfed in the ruin brought on by Russian defection, may look ahead to the time when .Balkan affair will be readjusted elsewhere than at Berlin. ' With five republican member! of our new city commission, why need Omaha continue to be advertised abroad as a city administrated by a democrat mayor? , , The city might with propriety require permits for street corner meetings. If the orators are going to save hall rent, they could easily stand a small fee for sidewalk apace. ; i Senator Warren's decision to stand for the . senate again Is Interesting, for -it involvea Frank Mondell'l determination to seek another term in , the house. Wyoming has been well represented by these able republicans so long that anything . else would seem unnatural. . : t 1 ; "The postal service today is badly demoral-1 ' ized and pitiably' inefficient." No, this does not emanate from a political antagonist, but is the verdict of the Rural Free Delivery News, which is the official organ of the National Rural Letter ' Carriers' association,' and the letter carriers ought J to know, ' ' .. .... Fuel Shortage Still Threatens, ' Although winter has passed and the demand j for fuel is correspondingly lessened, the critical ; situation has not entirely disappeared. Two reasons exist for this and only one remedy. Labor and cars are said to be scarce at the mines. Particularly is this true of the .astern cones, where railroads are tied up with other war traffic and coal producers find great difficulty in getting : carl to remove their product ai fast as it is redy. These, too, complain of shortage of help. In the western tones some shortening of production has been noted, lack of cars being assigned, together with lessened demand for steam coal, as the reason. The remedy proposed is to store fuel for next winter. This applies to all users, large and small, and seemingly affords the only assur ance that the inconvenience of last season will not be repeated. Most small consumers have made arrangements for storing coal and some of the larger users have planned to store con jj siderable quantities. The fuel administration urges this as a safeguard against future shortage. Ad 'I justment of prices has not so much to do with f production now as delivery. With cars and storage facilities provided, the summer should see 'ample provisions made against winter so I far as coal is concerned. THE DEMAND FOR 6-CENT FARES. In going to the State Railway commission for authority to increase fares to 6 cents the Omaha Street Railway company invites a twofold con test. In the first place, it challenges the cityV claim to jurisdiction, for, if the State Railway commis sion can issue such an order, it can also assume power to make all the other regulations of street car service heretofore exercised by our city authorities. If we must look to a nonresident state board at Lincoln instead of our own local officials in matters pertaining to street car service we may as well know it now, but only over our protest The second question involves the determina tion of what is a fair charge for carrying a passenger on a street car in Omaha. The com pany insists that the present S-cent fare is not compensatory and will doubtless be able to make a strong exhibit of increased war-time cost of operation. Whoever represents the pay-as-you-enter passengers must insist that no increase shall be made exept upon a conclusive showing, and no greater increase, if an increase is made at all, than the actual necessities warrant. To concede a 6-cent fare merely because the company asks it, or because the conductors and motormen and other employes petition for it, would be just as untenable as to shut our eyes to increased operating costs of all public service utilities that are plainly visible and recognized in all other industrial activities. In a word, the policy for Omaha, as well as for other cities, is to refuse absolutely to be imposed upon under war stress, but yet not lose all sense of fairness. Nicaragua in the War. Declaration of war on Germany by Nicaragua is significant because- it shows how solidly the nations of the world are uniting against all that Germany stands for in the present conflict. It has a deeper importance, too, for it is accompanied by an appeal for solidarity among nations of all Americans. No influence was more potent than that of Germany in holding off the perfect agree ment long sought by the United States with the other peoples of the New World. Under the Monroe, Doctrine we have assumed sponsorship for the smaller and weaker nations, and have several times been at the edge of war in course of protecting them. Germany has steadily sought to undermine this doctrine, to destroy cordial relations between the nations of the western hemisphere, and even now is able to dominate in Argentine, Chili and Mexico, to our detriment. Nicaragua's course is certain to affect in some degree the policy of the smaller nations, even if it does not bring them entirely to the coalition sought. Some weighty problems growing out of the Mexican muddle have been deferred until the closing of the "war in Europe, and these directly concern not only the United States but every American country. Therefore, any move towards a better understanding among these nations is good for alL Politics and the British Army. General Maurice has startled England as it has not been since war was declared. Charges by an officer of as high rank as he that the premier has not been truthful in statements to the public are not to be overestimated in their seriousness. Herbert Asquith promptly seizes the occasion to move what is tantamount to a vote of censure, despite the action of the government toward inquiry by a court of honor. Back of all this hubbub may be discerned the shadow of British politics, which la now being played with an intensity never before noted. It matters not that all parties are committed to the war with out reserve, that they have given the same pledges, and stand for the same external and mostly for the same internal policies.; Ultra-conservatives can not forgive Lloyd George for overturning many of the Tory land marks, and, even at expense of putting in jeop ardy the morale of their cause, will have their try at unseating him. The points to which General Maurice refers are in themselves minor, dealing with matters that were not immediately vital, and rest on language which might pass current with any but a precisian. His personal pique at the selection of General JFoch to be generalisimo of the allied armies must be accepted as a cause for his extraordinary action. This, too, involves toryism to a great degree, for British conserva tives are not at all reconciled to the thought of British troops taking orders from any but Brit ish commanders. Behind the whole affair will be noted the fondness of the race for political dis putation. It is not probable the course of the war will be seriously affected by the incident Some repu tations may suffer a little, a point in the game for control may change hands, but finally the forces of the British empire will be steadily held to the course that in time will bring victory. It is a little comfort to the Americans to note that our cousins have their political upheavals as well as other folks. ' The Frankfurter Zeitung now credits the Brit ish with having scored a great success at Zee brugge. This means that British accounts of what happened have been too modest and did not give full particulars as to results achieved. "Liberator of Latter-Day Ireland" Sir Horace Plunkett's Work as Chairman of Irish Convention London Chronicle. We do not know how far Sir Horace Plunkett is satisfied with the results of the convention over which he presided. Always an optimist 30 years of Irish public life would long ago have killed him had he had not been he probably hoped more from it than it actually accomplished. But we are very sure he would scout altogether the sup erficial view that it was a failure, a waste of time, and had better never have met. " True, it has not succeeded in drafting a complete constitution for Ireland or in se curing an absolute unanimity on fundamental poirts. But it came encouragingly near do ing both. "Notwithstanding the difficulties with which we were surrounded," says Sir Horace in his covering letter to the prime minister, "a larger measure of agreement has been reached upon the principle and de tails of Irish self-Rovernment than has ever yet been attaired." The marjr n of controversy has been de finitely narrowed; the angle ftom which the Irish question must be approached in any future legislation has been readjusted; men of all creeds and interests, of all classes and parties, have for eight months frankly pool ed their ideas and spoken their minds, and have co-operated in coming to close grips with the real problems of home rule; and the result is a reconsideration of old positions, the abandonment or mitigation of many old prejudices, a better all-round understanding of motives and conditions, and a genuine ad vance towards a settlement by consent. That is not everythinsr. but it is murh. A majority of the nationalists, all the south ern unionists, five out of the seven labor delegates were agreed that the scheme of Irish self-government outlined in the report -1 U I ! J.,l , T sno'iia dc immediately passed into law. io such concurrence had ever before been effect td. "The convention has, therefore, laid a foundation of Irish agreement unprecedented in history." It is now for the government to dynamite this foundation and wreck every thing or to use it as a base from which they may boldly press forward. The convention made an admirable start by selecting him as its presiding officer. It was not merely a good appointment; it was the best In nominating Sir Horace to the chairmanship at a time when many people thought they would be able to agree on no one the delegates not only took the wisest course in their own interests, and vested their deliberations with a claim to public confi dence that was instantly recognized, but they paid the highest tribute in their power to one whose labors and ideas entitle him, far more than O'Connell was ever entitled, to be called the liberator of latter-day Ireland. We do not believe that any Irishman could have held the convention together so long and so harmoniously, or could have brought it to so close an unqualified triumph, except Sir Horace. The task before hiin and before all the members of the convention was tremendous. To devise a procedure that would fit such an assembly; to remember that while busi ness was the purpose of the convention a certain amount of steam had to be lluwn off first; to guard against and defeat obstruc tive tactics without departing from the neu trality of the chair; to be the accessible con fidant of all parties and sections without forfeiting his independence of action or judg ment; to calculate the reaction of outside events upon the members of the body over which he was' presiding; to keep old hatreds and suspicions and bigotries below the point of explosion; to encourage every sign from whatever quarter of a disposition towards concession and agreement; to master the subjects under discussion, and their well-nigh infinite ramifications; to guide the debates of the convention, and to turn the eloquence of its members into constructive channeU all these and many other duties must have fallen in the main upon the chairman. Happily Sir Horace's whole life had been an unconscious preparation for discharging them. Thirty years of active collaboration with his countrymen of all creeds and parties, eight years in Parliament, and seven years as the working head of the Department of Agri culture had given him a knowledge and ex perience such as no other Irishman could pretend to. There is no branch of the Irish question that he has not studied at first hand; there are several branches of it on which he is easily the first authority; and in every corner of the country one finds the visible fruits of the hard work and harder thinking he has done for Ireland. Sir Horace has always stood for the prin ciple that there is little England can do for Ireland compared with all that Ireland might and should do for itself. That principle being nonpartisan, nonsectarian and wholly con structive, has inevitably, in a country cursed with a superabundance of parties, creeds and rhetoric, brought him from time to time into collision with almost every political and re ligious group in turn. But those days of fric tion and misunderstanding are over; and every Irishman has long recognized that nobody's labors for Ireland during the last 30 years equal Sir Horace's in originality or in social and material beneficence, that he has done more than any or all of his contempo raries to bring about a concentration of Irish energies on works of practical regeneration, and that the whole country would be the poorer had he not devoted to it his sound perception of realities, his qualities of faith and perseverance and selfless patriotism, and his almost unique capacity for mingling pub lic work with tolerance, candor and humor. All parties at one time or another have turned on Sir Horace Plunkett and tried to rend him. But all likewise have grown into the realization that he is the first of living Irishmen. When the convention chose him as its chairman it stamped the man and his work with a seal of national approval; and among his many achievements his success in piloting it through the stormy waters of the first eight months, andVln bringing it to port, not indeed with a full cargo, but still sub stantially intact, will hold a commanding place. He deserved a yet ampler triumph. But no other Irishman could have done as much, or even half as much, to secure it. Prussian Kultur In Practice Experience of American Doctor With Wounded Enemy Officer In recounting "The Martial Adventures of Harry and Me" along the western front, last fall, William Allen White of Kansas re ports a conversation with a young doctor who was a fellow-passenger on the trip over, and now was nursing a wounded hand in a hospital back of the lines. "When we had finished our errand at the hospital and were returning through the garden," Mr. White relates, "we met our young doctor. He was sitting on an old stone bench, among the asters and dahlias wounded. It was not a serious wound from an ordinary man's standpoint; but from the young doctor's it was grave indeed. For it was a bullet wound through his hand. He thought it would not affect the muscles per manently but no-one could know. Then he sat there in the mediaeval garden among the flowers under the yeW trees and told us how it happened; took us out to the first line trenches, and over them into No Man's Land, stumbling over the dead, helping the stretch er bearers with the wounded. In time he came to a wounded German a Prussian officer with a "shell-wound in his leg. "He told us what happened, impersonally, as one Vho is listening to another man's story in his own mouth. 'I gave him some thing like a first aid to stop the bleeding,' the young doctor paused, picked a ravelling from his bandage and went on, still detached from the narrative. 'Then I put my arm around him, to help him back to the am bulance. Again he hesitated and said quietly, 'That was a half mile back and the shells wers still popping more or less around us.' He looked for appreciation of the situation. He got it, smiled and went on without lifting his voice. Then he did it.' "'Not that fellow?' exclaimed Henry. '"Well, how?' from me. "'Oh, I don't know. He just did it,' droned the young doctor. We were talking along and then he seemed to quit talking. I looked up. 'The pistol was at my head; I knocked it away as he fired. It got my hand!' "He stopped, began poking the gravel with his toe, and smiled again as one who has heard an old story and wants to be polite. To Henry and me, it was unbelievable. We sat down on the hoary, moss-covered curb of the ancient fountain regardless of our spanking new uniforms and cried: 'Well, my heavenly homel' He nodded, drew a deep breath and Said, 'That's the how of it "'Well, what do you know about ' "Then Henry checked me with, 'You weren't expecting it? Did he make no warn ing sign?' "'Not a peep not a chirrup,' answered the doctor, still diffidently. Then he added, as - n - - , ! 'i .i one renccting over an incident in a ratner remote past: 'It was odd, wasn't it. You would think that two men who stood where we were together I, who had put my hands in his live flesh, and felt his blood flow through my fingers, and he who was clinging to my body for support you would think we had come together not as foes, but as friends; for the war was over for him.' "The young doctor's eyebrows knitted. His mouth set. He went on: 'This man should have abandoned his military conscience. But no ,' the doctor shook his head sadly, 'he was a Prussian before he was a man I He carefully figured it out, that it takes four years to make a soldier, so to kill a doctor is as good as killing a dozen men. It's all very scientific, this German warfare scien tific and fanatical; Nietzche and Mahomet, what a perfect alliance it is between the kaiser and the sultan.'" What a German Indemnity is Like The report from Zurich that Germany has imposed a war tax of $2,000,000,000 on Rou mainia has a timely interest in connection with the campaign of the third Liberty loan. t Roumania is about as large as Alabama' with the population of Pennsylvania. At the outbreak of the war it had a revenue of ap proximately $110,000,000 and combined im ports and exports of $230,000,000. The fig ures compare with our country's receipts of $1,u457d,UUU last year and aggregate im ports and exports of $8,952,000,000 for a population of 100,000,000. If Germany demands $2,000,000,000 as a war indemnity from a Eeuropean state no larger than one of our own states, how large an indemnity will she demand of the United States if Prussianism prevails? What will the tax bill be for our country, with its pop ulation 14 times as large, its commerce 80 times as great, and infinitely richer in agri culture, manufactures and natural resources? It is a perfectly apposite question which must be seriously considered in its relation to the outcome of the war. Having learned Germany's war tax-rate as applied to Rou mania, it becomes the patriotic duty of every citizen to make the new loan a success. Is 10 times three billion dollars too much to pay for insurance against spoliation such as Germany is inflicting on Roumania? New Yorlc World. I Caa Tear Ago Today In the War. British recovered part or territory lost near Fresnoy. Brigadier General John J. Persh ; ins summoned to Washing-ton to be i given command of the American ; expeditionary force to France. The Day We Celebrate. W. O. Ure, city commissioner elect, born 1M7. Ellis H. Wilson of the McCarthy TTilsoa Tailoring company, born 1S69. Edward W. Slmeral, lawyer, born ttleV " - John R. Mohler, chief bf the bureau - f animal Industry of the United -tea Department of Agriculture, .mis Philadelphia. 43 years ago. tit James M. Barrle, novelist and '".j right, born at Kirrimulr, N. B., J years ago. iTank Bancroft business manaaters T the Cincinnati Base Ball club, born t Lancaster. Mass., 71 years aito. lhomas A. Clarke, catcher for the sw Yorlc American team, horn In .aw. York City, SO years ago. a Day In History. : 17IW-Waltr Colton, -who made the ,t puDllc announcement of the dls- --ry of fold in California, born at . ..and, vt Died In Philadelphia, "wary ta, 1SS1. ?'-. ills Charles H. Cramp, pioneer .utiaing steel warships for the 'tad States navy, born In Philadel V Died there, June . 1911. Just 80 Years Ago Today Articles incorporating: the Arm of W. L. Parrots & Co. were filed with the county clerk. The capital stock is to be $100,000, and the business to be carried on is the manufacture and sale of hats, caps, gloves and other articles. W. L. Parrote, C. 8. Parrote. M. I Parrote, George A. Palmer and J. W. Bailey are the Incorporators, The outcome of the Omaha-Chicago base ball game was 2 to 0 in favor pCHl(A60 O WPjC of the local team. The game lasted Just one hour and twenty minutes. A meeting of the Union club was held and a committee of five anDoint- ed to confer with the Missouri Pacific management relative to putting on suburban trains. Mrs. J. Mandelberg of Baltimore, Md.t la visiting her son, A. Mandel berg. . . W. F. Callahan Is putting ud a two- story frame residence costing $4 500 on the corner of Twenty-ninth and ,iacKs streets. - . "Over There and Here" Five gallons of kerosene were used up in peeling the tar and feather suit of a .pro-German at Endicott, N. T. The 519th Service battalion of Unole Sam's colored warriors boasts of two Hun strafers physically fitted for the role of "Mutt and Jeff." Nathaniel Singleton is 4 feet 11 inches and his comrade, Fred Mader, is 6 feet 8 H Inches. Both hail from Florida. Coal at $100 a ton, no wool for clothing, no fodder for cattle, no oil for lights and the cheapest shoes $11 a pair outline the picture of war time life in Denmark drawn by Minister Maurice Francis Egan. The life of a nearly neutral is not a happy one these days. A war correspondent on the Tpres front reports that a German officer and two men, while scouting for food, surrounded two pigs in a sty. Be lieving there were more pigs about the trio extended the scout Into Australian territory and were quickly gathered in, pigs and all. Perhaps the captives will get a slice of the bacon which they headed to the wrong camp. Two notorious characters of the Old Bowery, "Lucky Baldwin" and "Bull" Johnstone, thoroughly re formed and seasoned for work behind the fighting lines, are among the New Yorkers sent "over there" by the Y. M. C. A. In their day they were esteemed the champion thugs of the aistrict. That was many years afto. McAuley's Mission put them on the right road and the Bowery is no more. Whittled to a Point Minneapolis Journal: Father got a new idea of war when mother de tailed him to dig the sweet pea trench. Baltimore American: Germany Is not only using paper clothes but also paper mattresses. Comfort is evi dently being reduced in the empire to a mere scrap of paper Just like its treaties. Louisville Courier-Journal: A typi cal Liberty loan slacker is one who stands up in public when the national anthem is played but whose idea of a perfect hymn would be "Nearer My Wad to Thee." New York World: The Treasury loan of $3,250,000 made to Belgium yesterday makes its total credits from this country $107,850,000. Which after all Is a relatively small sum for sen-Ices rendered to the cause of the allies. New York Herald: The sanest thing that has happened In Germany in many a day was that incidental re mark of Herr Ersberger to the Reich stag that in the face of Admiral von Capelle's recent admissions, all of the admiralty's earlier assurances of U boat success should be thrown into the waste basket. Brooklyn Eagle: As our men die fighting for the preservation of our ideals the German Ideals will. disap pear here. Congressmen are chang ing their tune in those sections which felt themselves far away from the war. Nearness accounts for the difference of view. St. Louis has grown several feet and Wisconsin is on the right track. .We axe marching on, , -Twice Told Tales A Gentle Rebuke. The conversation at a social gather ing turned to the gentleness of some people In rebuking offenders, when Congressman Thomas Gallagher, of Illinois, recalled a little anecdote along that line. For some time a certain good dominie had not been pleased with the quality of milk that his dairyman was serving. Finally he decided that it was time to offer a remonstrance. "JuBt a moment, Mr. Jones," said the parson, going to the door one morning when the milkman cams' around. "I want to apeak to you about the quality of milk you are giving me." k "Yes, sir," responded Mr. Jones, be traying some uneasiness. "I merely want to say." returned the dominie, "that I use the milk for dietary purposes exclusively and not for christening." Philadelphia Tele graph. , Clear Sign of Blindness. Wlille Stone had been sent on an errand to the home of the rich Mr. Lott. He returned with the astonish ing news that Mr. Lott was going blind. "What makes you think that?" his father asked. "The v way he talked." said Willie. "When I went into the room where he wanted to see me hi said, 'Boy, where Is your hat?' and there it was on my head all the time!" Harper's Maga- Hn How to Dispose of Steins. Madison. Neb.. May 6. To the Ed-1 itor of The Bee: I was surprised to read in The Bee of April 3.0 about the "Steln-breaking feet" that is soon to be celebrated to raise funds for the Red Cross. To me it seems a very un dignified and dangerous method of raisin? money for such a noble cause. The American people are already too impulsive and extreme, too inclined to follow fads and not thoughtful enough of future results. I myself am an American, of Sctch descent, but I am frequently horrified at the lack of common-sense and dignity displayed by grown-up, supposedly Intelligent people in such ways as this, and I don't really see .how National Red Cross officials could conscientiously endorse such practices. If this "stein breaking fest" is staged in Omaha as part of the Red Cross celebration, we must not be sur prised at anything the young people and children may do. We must re member that the rising generation is looking to us for an example in every thing. We can be intemperate in more things than one. To daub yellow paint on houses, or to destroy anything pimply because it was made in Ger many is a very effective way of teach ing mob rule to the younger genera tion. Such tnings are not done Dy real ly brave men and women, and we don't want to hand down to history anything our descendants will be ashamed or. I wouid suggest that everyone wish ing to get rid of steins or other Ger man-made articles be invited to do nate such articles to the Red Cross. These could be auctioned off, and then disposed of privately as each owner saw fit; but the public spectacle of stein-breaking has nothing to recom mend it in the eyes of decent, law- abiding Americans. Most of us will gladly do all we can for the Red Cross, so let us not lower any of our ideals for the sake of getting a little "easy money. MABEL GREGORY WUESTHOFF. P. S. I suppose the next thing we will hear, all the little girls will have a Red Cross toy-smashing fest, because many "made in Germany" toys and diehes are still to be found. Odds Favor Attila. Desv Moines, la., May 6. To the Editor of The Bee: We are told that there are persons among us who are critical of the public press for its per sistency in referring to the Germans as "Huns." The public press does the very best it can in the matter. It has searched and researched the entire scope of both philology and history for a more fitting and therefore a more opproblous term than that of "Hun," to be applied descriptively to the Germans, but has searched in vain. German civilization is reflected as in a mirror by the philosophy of Nietzche, who taught that power alone is good; that justice to the less power ful is degreneracy; that strength, pride, ruthlessness, courage, love of battle make the true man; that the military end sanctifies every criminal means in war and that conquest is the chief end of nations. The roving Nietzchean blonde beast has been the typical, the ruling Teuton since the days of the Goths and the Vandals. Wilhelm II. and the military and com mercial clique surrounding him are of the type. The German empire is Itself the blonde beast. How bestial the civilized world has been since August, 1914. Therefore, to speak of the kaiser and his assassins as Huns is totally to disregard the sensibilities of Attila and his hordes, now some time resi dent in hades, and no doubt caused them to raise h , so to speak, by their wholly reasonable protestations against the indirect slander which the civilized public press under des perate extremities has been con strained to perpetrate and for which it should and does feel just compunc tion and stands ready and willing to make any apologetic explanation. In closing: There is this difference between Attila of mediaeval times and Wilhelm II. of today: The pope asked Attila to spare Rheims from destruc tion and the "scourge of God" com plied with his holiness' wishes, but the Beast of Berlin ignored the pope's plea and Rheims and its ancient ca thedral are now a heap of rubble. J. A. LOGUE. SUNNY GEMS. "Tha anclenta thought tha world waa flat." "Wall, no wonder. Thay had no eabareta, no bridge, no clgarets, no ahow flrla, no moving ploturaa, no Kataer Bill. It must hava baen. In those daya." Boaton Tran at lpt "Thla Idea of an aga limit ta all right." aid Plodding Peter. "But It atopa too quick." "What do you mean 7" "There'a nothin' to look forward to. A man aoona gets too old to fight, but ha'a never too old to work." Washington Star. "Why do you refuaa to maka a com plaint T" "It would hurt my bualneaa." "What la your bualneaa?" . "I'm a lightning calculator, and It would never do for It to become known that I had let myaelf ba run over by t jitney car." Louisville Courier-Journal. It waa a narrow escape and he growled.' "I wonder If there la any place on earth that lan't overrun with motor cars." "You might try Venice," auggeated tha party of the aecond part" Louisville Courier-Journal. She What you do auppoaa I did whan mother told me you were coming T He Oh; I auppoae you colored up a little. She Sir ! Awgwan. First Little Boy My nurse helps tha aol dlera. Doea yours T Second Little Boy Well, ahe'a awful red and aha aoolda all tha time. Yea, I nan ha'a a red cross nurse, all right Baltimore American. , . J ,( Touriat To what do you attrlbuta yaur great ageT . Oldeat Inhabitant I can't aay yet. air. There are several o' them patent medicine companlea a-dlckerla' with me. Boatoa Transcript. ' Cynlcua Flubdub acta Ilka a man wha haa been disappointed In love. SUIicua Nonaenael Why, ha baa been married four tlmea. Cynlcua Well, what of ltT Judge. Wlfey Henry, if you didn't amoke I eonld hava a new hat. Hubby And If you would live on atewed. prunea I could hava a ateam yacht. Pitta burgh Press. .1 "What'e Flubdub doing now?" "Ha'a farming." "What doea he know about farming?" "He'a farming with a book of Instruc tions." Louisville Courier-Journal. KEEP SWEET, KEEP MOVING Homely phrase of our southland bright Keep ateady atep to the flam of tha drum; Touch to the left eyea to the right Sing with the aoul tho the lips be dumb. Hard to be good when tha wind's In tha east; Hard to be gay when the heart la down; When "they that trouble you are In creased," When you look for a smile and aee a frown. But "Keep aweet and keep movln'." Hard to ba aweet when tha throng la dense. When elbowa Jostle and ahouldera crowd ( Easy to give and to take offense When the touch la rough and the voice Is loud; "Keep to the right" in tha city'a throng; "Divide the road" on tha broad high way; There'a one way right when everything'! wrong; ' - "Easy and fair goea far In a day." Just "Keep aweet and keep movln'." s Tba quick taunt anawera tha hasty word The lifetime chance for a "help" ta missed! The muddiest pool la a fountain atlrred, A kind hand clinched makes an ugly flat. When the nerves ara tense and the mini la vexed, The spark Ilea close to the magazine; Whisper a hope to the -e'oul perplexed , Banish the fear with a smile aerenel Juat i "Keep aweet and keep movln'." I' ROBERT J. BURDETTB. -Vr-HY-3 NOT m ftulneM ti fWwwt thik You1 Do You Know of a Store Carrying Such a Line as This? Save $50 to $ ISO in Piano Value. Mason & Hamlin The Highest Praised. Kranich & Bach Vose & Sons Brambach Bush & Lane Kimball Cable-Nelson Hinze, and the Reliable Hospe Piano-and Hospe Player. Many New Sample Pianos Not in This List We are also factory distribu tors for the genuine Apollo Piano and the genuine Apollo Player Piano. Demonstrations Daily. 1513 Douglas St. $29-7: Only a few left of these No. 5 Olivers. When all . sold it's goodby to low prices. You have never heard of such a low price and you never will again. Prices are going to the sky. Not only that, but you will hardly be able to get them at ANY price.. Send your check right this day, give your name and ad dress, that's all, and receive one of these greatest of all visible writers by first express. Your money back if all sold out Central Typewriter Exchange, Inc. Omaha Oliver Agency, 1905 Farnam