The Omaha Sunday Bee OMAHA, SUNDAY MORNING, APRIL 21, 1918. By EDWARD BLACK. H(;nry Leffingwell answered telephone. Mrs. Sharp wanted know whether the foreman of Leffingwell refectory would assist in the serving at a church good-fellowship dinner: The feminine inquirer was so, importunate that Leffingwell did not have time to negative the pro posal. "I suppose, Mrs. Leffingwell. that you have got me into this, and I also suppose that you have told tftosc wo men that I was the best little waiter in the glen," remarked Leffingwell, as he hung tip the receiver and addressed himself to the forclady of his domi cile. "You may suppose nothing of the kind, she replied. Its just like a man, to get alt hct up when he is aked to do something out of the rou Mne. It is time that men become in ured to varieties of work which they lave not been used to do, because Aomen are doing all sorts of chores these days, aud it is a poor rule that won't work one w ay " .To See It Through. Leffingwell resolved to carry the flag, figuratively speaking, and he would see it through, if he did not do another thing. He had too much pride to be a slacker, although the thought of waiting on table at a church eating affray did not cause him to go into transports of merriment. He assumed a look which told his wife that big thoughts were filtering through his mental recesses. He visualized Mrs. What's-Her-Name and Mrs. So-and-So conferrirg acrid glances upon him at the dinner, but he would do or die, would be a spartan in an apron, and would have the whole neiKhborhood agreeing that there was at least one wan in its midst who knew how to lace food upon a table where it would do the most good. Leffingwell arrived at the church ia!t an hour ahead cf the hungry horde. He donned an apron which had been provided by his spouse and then he reported to the lady who had in veigled him, into the adventure. Mrs. Leffingwell and Willie and Mary ar rived in due time and they pointed with pride to their captain in white, lieffingwell'a apron did not fit like the paper on a wall, but he appeared to be oblivious to the grotesqueness of The Weekly m Bumble Bee OMAHA, THE WEEKLY BUMBLE DEI. A. STINGER, EDITOR. Communication! on any toplo received, without postsg or signature. Nona returned. NO ADS AT ANT Pltica ENOUGH. ' We ara Informed by the Boa ton Tranacrlpt that real knowl edge of the German language la necessary. Without entering any argument, might It not be sug geated that when Mr. Perilling complete hie task ft real knowl edge of English will be aufflcl entT .. WEDDED BLISS. , First Man -How do yon Ilk married life Hecond Man Oh. I live like bird. First Man How' that? Second Man I have to fir for my life. - OBV.'OlS ERROR. Flrat Man I waa juat talking to tour wife. ' Second Man Ton were Juat talking to my wife T P. JI. Tee. , 8. M. You're wrong; It waan't wife. . MORAL. ' Pain falleth alike upon the :jst and unjust, eayeth an .indent proverb. Unless the un just alealeth a march by awlplng i he Just's oilskin and boots. COINCIDENCE, The Standard OH company re cently boosted the Wagea of Ita employee. A few dayi later gas oline hit ft new high mark all jver the country. WHAT'S IN A NAME? An actor has appeared en Uroadway whoae name la Adam Kgg. Juat what kind of an egg night that be? ONE ERROR. The beat of plana often go adly a tray. For Instance, the ice leer planned to dettroy the 3rltlah Armies. TOO MANY ODDS. Trying to beat ft train to croaalng to ft popular pastime of the motorist, bat It often to high ly snsucceasfuL, ' ' ' ABSENT. ' The German-Alliance appears to be In the aame predicament : a the young .man who waa eent for ad couldn't oome. CAME GUT. He toft' moat eourac ecue guy, .le'd look cannon In the eye, 'And never flinch for ft fear of . that -. . He wears the een'e first atraw hat. . - .: his decoration. He seemed to be glori fied in the righteousness of his cause. And He Didn't. He was assigned to transfer the first-course plates from the kitchen to the diners in the planner provided by the latest authorities of domestic science, lie made the first trip down a narrow aisle, with head erect and stolid face. Mrs. Leffingwell was fear some lest that in his confusion Lef fingwell would display profusion in the distribution of the viands. He scanned the row of faces whose open mouths were craving sustenance. It was then 7 p. m. of the clock and the gustatory attack had been billed for 0:30. Leffingwell almost tripped and as he righted himself, he caught the glance of Mrs. So-and-So who greeted him as tf to say, "He shall not pass!" Mrs. So-and-So was afraid that her new dress would be despoiled if Leffingwell actuallyshould take the count. As he passed Willie, the male offspring of the Leffingwell canton ment, Leffingwell head this remark: "Say, dad, wisht you would do a little yodeling while you peddle the hash. We want music with our meals." Leffingwell negotiated the first round without disturbing the seating arrangement or causing Mrs Leffing well to utter an outcry. She, Just Knows It. "Isn't' he just grand?" was the effervescent query of Mrs. What's-Her-Name, as Leffingwell lowered a plate of provender to her place with SUNDAY MORNING, APRIL SPORTING SECTION BRAYERT. A fan In ftew York bet 12,590 to 11.009 that the Olanta would win the pennant this year In eplte of the fact that Ilughle Fullerton picked 'em. COMRADES. Ted Lewis and Jack Brltton arei to meet In the ring for the ltth time May 1 at Scran ton, Pa, They ought to let It to muato. GET OCT THE MAT. A syndicate of aportamen In Cedar Point, O., have bid $200,000 for the Wlllard-Ful-ton fight, thue making it known that such a place aa Cedar Point, O., la In exist ence. TEMPERAMENT. Johnny Dundee and Lew Tendler eesm to think they are champion. Their bout waa called off because they couldn't agree on referee, WRONG DOPE. We read that Porky Flynn was disappointed because hla bout with Jack Dempaey waa called off. Porky ahould have given three cheer. It waa an anolent fan. lie chortled In hia glee, "There la a match tonight, bnt I Will not be there to see. 'The press guy says the bout' ft bear. Between two husky guya, Who'll ahed blood by the bucket, ' And gouge each other's eye. But boy, I know these wrest ling lada. They're friendly business men, And all the wrestling they wilt do la for the festive yen." It wa an ancient wrestling fan. He chortled In his glee; "There la ft match tonight. but I Will not be there to see." NOVELTY. Jack Dempsey la an unusual ftghter. Jack to fighting hla fight In-court Instead of In the dressing room. ONLY ONE FAULT. Bughl Jennings haa 11 pitcher. The only trouble seems to be that none" of thorn can pitch. VON HINDENBFRO. Many a ahlftlng, shooting star, la seen In the dark night aky - afar. And many (hooting star ha buret. For instance, Hlndy jon April e flrat PRONUNCIATION. General Foch'a bam pro nounced In French la aatd to rhyme with Boche. Thue, if you know how to pronounce Foch you also know how to pronounce Boche. Dl'RT. I love the dark and rainy weather, I love the weeping, leaking . eky. For dust oh, how I hate It When It nestle In my eye. WHICH f A new Item conveys the startling information that a woman waa taken seriously .111 after eating atrawberrle and cream. Whether this la a left handed alap at Louisiana or the Nebraska cow I a point for argument. Friend Russell: This I a very dull and quiet week and there la not much news. The office bullshevkt I behavin' them selves owing to me threatentn' to pip off the time some of 'em gets down to work In the mornin' so I got nothin' to kick about Beein' that you're all the time selpln' for some of them thru lin' moments I'll slip you one that Is a .pippin. This ain't no bush league thrill like fallln' oft ft cliff or turntn' over In an au tomobile or gettln' In ft train .wreck or shell shock or sny of them little trick what happens every day In the year and causes no fuss except for. the, guys what Insist on renin" about em. Thl I an A No. 1 thriller what makes a movie serial look like an atfernoon tea. Louis Lanyon, who Is the treasurer over at the Orphoum. leraf nn doraed Tom Falconer for city commissioner. Odds are ( to I the Carpenter' union endorse Henry Wulf. ECONOMY. - On advantage In being bald headed toe that you don't have to get your hair cut Another 1 that you don't have to listen to tonaorlal conversation. . NATTY NAT. Wife No. I to suing Nat Good win for divorce. Nat's plea that the pullet fancier help win the war to expected to vall nothing. Why do they call them un dertaker when they alwaya overtake ul I the guy this thrill happened to which makes it A No. l right off, because theater ain't supposed to ever thing except , grouchy) tlons. But Louis to different. He wears ft green aye shade and smiled once and does a lot of things theater treasurers ain't supposed tr do. This her thrill happened to i-.i v (mi, - asiim rwtzjkA-i jmmw i in u 11 ....... 11 11 11 11 i 11 out causing the contents to skid onto the table. Leffingwell did not make the sco ond rouno. Eleven other waiters fin lshed the work. Mrs. Leffingwell finished her meal and with every step homeward she registered something direful tor her companion along Iiie s Highway. Nie wished that he were traveling with her just then. "That's the way you protect the proud escutcheon of the Leffingwell fireside," she exclaimed, as she tossed her bonnet into a corner and faced her liege lord with anger flashing from her eyes like sparks from the anvil of the village blacksmith down at Havelock. LeffingwelPs eyes ounkeu. lie knew he had done some thing naughty and should be pun- lsnca. What Will They Say? "What will the neighbors be say ing about the Leffingwells when this has been p .ssed around? Fine morsel of gossip for' the neighbors. It will take us a year to live it down. Think of the head of the Leffingwells being a quitter at a church dinner. I feel so angry I could tear the paper off of the walls,", Mrs. Leffingwell added. 21, 1918. IN OCR TOWN. Billy Byrne has n new spring suit Al Kugel lntenda to take ft long vacation soon, Al Dreyfooa la counting the calendar until opening day. Vina Unltt expects to go to New York eoon to see the sights. Johnny Robertson Is still keep ing one of his new year's resolu tions. Charley Martin has pledged himself to put all his whist earnings In war savings stamps If he wins. POIGNANT POINTS. Page the copperl Robins are not observing the daylight sav ings law. It takes ft '"good gas mask to combat the conversation of the tonsorlallst There 1 no bullet-proof cloth, but there's a lot of bullet-proof uniforms. Why Is It a bald-headed man will always look longingly at a pair of military hair brushes? The scientist who claim the brain Is the seat of all pain never tried to force a Quart bunion Into ft pint shoe. Roar of the crown prince's Ug gun wa heard ID mile away, or not quite far enough tor the crown prince to hear It Fathead who protest against digging trenches In public park should remember It' better to dig 'em for fun than In earnest. GROW1N1 CP. Come, lltlta bootlegger. Don't you cry; You'll be a big bootlegger. By and by. TO THE BOSS htm last fall. Probably you know how the government get a war tax on all theater ticket, because you must know It, be cause It must give you terrible pangs whenever you have to dig down in your pocket and dig up the dough for the war tax. when you go to movlea, which 1 about S cents. So the other day when you was hollerln' for thrtllln' moment and threatenln' to amputate everybody from the pay roll unlee they come through pronto, which didn't scare me none because I'm on to you and your bark Is worse than your bite, ' because your teeth Is all gone from chewln' that navy plug. I takes ft chanoe to ask Louts, did he ever have a thrill. He wa behind hi cage at the time so I figured I could be out sight before he could get out of the cage and It waa a pretty good chance. And Instead of trying to snap at me throush the. harm, h tinatji all treasurers the dope and say yes. So I have any- I asks him what It was and dispost whaddayft suppose he says? He says he had a thrill that mad the gassln' of Private Peat look like a W. C T. V. reclul the first time he hooked a newspa per guy for the war tax on hi theater pas. Resy, F. S. H. "Sarah Leffingwell, just calm your self, calm yourself. Leffinewell be gan, moving over to an open window to get some fresh air with which to accelerate his respiratory organs, as the humidity of the room was op pressive. "I would have you know that I am a man who knows his limitations, at least is able to find them out," Leff ingwell continued. "I was not raised to be a waiter. I may be able to plow corn, but when it comes to waiting on a table well, I prefer the buffet luncheon atyle for mine. So if the neighbors lose any sleep over this, just tell them -that Henry Leffing well is no quitter, but he knows when it is time to quit. After making that first round at the dinner, I learned that it is better to be safe than sorry." , They Just Laughed. Leslie if. Shaw, who spoke here a few days ago in front of the Lib erty bond bank on the court house lawn, told this story on hims lf: "I lived many years in Denison, la., where I practiced law and was in the banking business. After having been away from the old home town for a period of years, I returned and visited around with some of my old friends. I asked one old friend, 'Do you suppose the boys around here know that I have been governor of Iowa and treasurer of the United States since 1 left here?' " 'Oh, yes, I guess they heerd folks tell about it,' he replied. '"And what did they say to that?' I queried. "They just laughed." Wild, Wild West Well, I should say that I do re member the most thrilling moment of my life," remarked Tom McVittie, veteran base ball player and cigar dealer. "It was way back in 1870 when my parents were traveling from Montana to Omaha by wagon. We were required to stop at Gold Creek, Mont., for more than a week. I was a boy about 7 years old. While we were in this town I went out with an Indian boy to a mountain stream to get some trout. I pushed the boy into the water and when he got out of the stream he started to chase me back to the stage coach house. I was too scared for speech. The stage coach house proprietor locked me in a shed to keep me away from that Indian boy who was in the war path for my scalp. I have dreamed many times since that I was in that shed and that Indians were trying to break in to get me. It was an awful suspense and nothing along life's way has impressed with so much." Do You Hear Me, My Boy? Helen, S years old, attends Frank lin school. Recently she came from Canada to grow with Omaha. The other day Miss Curtis, representing the Aldine system of reading, ac companied Superintendent Beveridge and Assistant Superintendent Ryan to this school, where they heard the first grade pupils read. Helen read with her eyes on the page until she came to this line, "Do you hear me, my boy?" when she unwittingly cast her large brown eyes upon Superintendent Beveridge, Who made a heroic effort to restrain the risibilities which had been aroused. , Thank You! "How do you find business?" asked the old rag man of the scissors grinder. "Rathtr dull How's your busi ness?" "Oh, it's picking op, thank you." i A Gifted Son. Although Alfred had arrived at the age of 21 year he ahowed no Inclination either to pursue his studies or In any way adapt himself to his father's business. "I don't know what I will ever make of that son of mine," bitterly complained his father, ft hustling business man. "Maybe he haan't found himself yet," con soled the confidential friend. "Isn't he gifted In any way?" , 1 "Gifted ?- queried 'the father. "Well, 1 should say he lsl He ain't got a darned thing that wasn't given to him," London Tit-Bit y By EDWARD BLACK. Omaha got Roy N. Towl because he was stricken with malarial fever in Mississippi where he had been work ing as resident engineer of construc tion for the Illinois Central He had planned to take a position as engi neer of the then new Moffatt road in Colorado and stopped over here to recover or to die. He was so ill that physicians almost despaired of his re covery. He did recover and then he decided that if Omaha was good enough to get well in, it was good enough to live in, so h gave up his Colorado work and resolved to live in this salubrious clime. He had worked in Texas. Colorado, Wyoming, Illinois, Mississippi, Ten nessee, Louisiana and Iowa, and came back to Omaha, the place of his boyhood days and activities. Carried Bee Route. Mr. Towl came to South Omaha from Chicago when he was a boy of 5. He has seen the Magic City grow from a pasture to one of the greatest packing centers of the world. When he was 10 years old he carried a Bee route on the South Side. He attend ed the elementary schools and high school of South Omaha and while in high school he attended night school at the Young Men's Christian asso ciation where he took a course in me chanical and architectural drawing. from early bovhood he had a pas sion for utilizing his time to best ad vantage.' In 1898 h&went with a Un ion Pacific surveying party to Wyo ming and three years later he was di vision engineer for the Rock Island in Texas, being 19 years of age when he took the latter position, f. n. Peters, chief engineer of construction for the Rock Island in Texas, sug gested to young Towl that he might be spoiling a career by continuing in railroad work before he had equipped himself with sufficient technical knowledge, so Towl acted on that suggestion by ntering the .Armour Institute of Technoloev at Chicago. His previous knowledge allowed him to enter the institute as an advanced student. In 1903 he became resident engineer of construction for the Illi nois Central in Illinois and Missis sippi and in 1914 he was assocated in Omaha with the late Andrew Rose water in private practice of his pro fession. Survey of South Omaha. An interesting episode of his life occurred in 1905 when he assisted in making a topographical survey of South Omaha for a sewer system. As a boy he had roamed-over every part of the ground which later became the site of the packing city and while making this survey he had in his mind's eye a picture of the hills and depressions. In fact, he said he car ried in his mind a topographical map of South Omaha. , "That was pleasant work for me, he remanked. His home is at Fourteenth and N streets, on a tract which commands a grand view of the river. When a boy he was chased from this tract which is now his home, by an old watchman of a plant. He related that he and companions threw stones at the watchman's ducks and the watchman set his dogs cm the intruders. In later years this same old watchman called around one dav and was reminded of the old days when he was the boss of the situation and Towl was the mischevious youngster. Grew Up Together. Roy Towl and the South Side have grown up together and both are still growing. The boy who sold papers more than 25 years ago was known to South Siders as a hard-working youngster who would make a name for himself some day, because he was persistent and never wasted his time. He was one of 75 candidates at the city primary on April 9. He has never dabbled in politics, nor is he a poli tician in the ordinary sense. A group of men prevailed on him to file for the nomination and when the primary ballots were counted, he was well within the list of 14 nominees. In the realm of politics his name was prac tically unknown, but as a compara tively young man of ability in the en gineering profession, his name was one to conjure with when Omahans were advised on his candidacy. He is now in the race for election as city commissioner on May 7. Arbor Day Will Be Utilized For the Planting of Gardens In former years Arbor day has been observed as an occasion for the planting of trees in Nebraska and particularly in Omaha. This1 year, Arbor day, April 22, will mark the date of the planting of thousands of war gardens, instead of trees. This is the information that comes from all parts of the city and from out in the state. Of course, in the public schools there will be the regular Arbor day exercises of songs and recitations. Then, too, in the schools will be told the story of the life work of the late J. Sterling Morton, who for nearly half a century was a resident of Ne braska City and who was the "father" of Arbor, day. In Nebraska, as well as in other states of the union, Arbor day is a legal holiday. There will be the usual sessions of the public schools, but they will be held mainly for the purpose of permitting the pupils to take part in the exercises. Change Custom. In other years in Omaha it has Deen the custom with the grade schools to plant trees on the school house grounds. This year,( generally, the custom 'will be ignored. There are two reasons for this. One is that at most of the schools there are a sufficient number of trees on the grounds. The other reason fordrop ping the tree planting is to give the children extra time to go home and plant their war gardens. ' In connection with the Arbor day programs, teachers will tell the pu pils of the . importance of planting war gardens and encourage them to take up and carry on the work. The. park commission has formerly urged the plinting of trees along the streets and .n the lawns. This year, while there is some encouragement given to this work, officials are devot ing their eneigies to inducing people to cultivate the vacant lots and raise war gardens, thus aiding in winning the war. Arbor day is distinctively a Ne braska holiday, though as such it is Thrilling Moments of Their Lives Leads Boy Scouts. Vincent C Hascall, justice of th peace, scoutmaster, former state ath lete of the University of Nebraska and basket bal! player, has found the work which affords him one contin uous round of thrills. There is nothing quite like the task of leading a bunch of live youngsters out in the country for a holiday in the woods, where they practice their Scout work, such as building fires without matches, bandaging up " "wounded" companions and kindred enjoyment. "Stub" has one of the best trained troops in the city5 and they have made a fine showing in all the bond work, Red Cross solicita tions and relief measures. A $1,040,000 Thrill. Sovereign Commander W. A. I Fraser, head of the Woodmen of the World, no doubt experienced a thrill when he mounted the city "tank" last Thursday to deliver his speech, pre senting to Miss Columbia and Uncle Sam the $1,040,000 which his order subscribed to the third Liberty loan. ; As he neared the third rung. th stepladder on which the sovereign commander was climbing atop of thf "tank," slipped a bit before Gus Renze could grab it. Mr. Frazer made a frantic grab for the 40-centimeter gun which projects from the side of the war horse. '. Assurance of his safety by specta tors under the ladder, the principal orator of the day continued his as cent to freedom, followed by T. C Byrne and others. Too Much Crowd. Ralph Yeoman, membership secre tary of the Young Men's Christian as sociation, does nnt Trntrirnr Vi thrills of smoking, but when it comes" to Dowiine and snootine billiards. Ralph get a considerable portion of the thrills 'of his life therefrom. When the Young Men's Christian association recently installed the bowling alleys and billiard tables, Ralph took his first lesson at bowling. He had a beginner's luck, he says, and after making five straight strikes, the crowd began to cheering for him, and shivers and chills chased them selves about his makeup for several minutes. The excitement was too great, and Yeoman chucked the sixth frame with a split. Nevertheless he has hopes of some day making a perfect score of 30012 straight strikes. Poor Uncle Tom! "Way back in 1893 I was advance man for one of the original Uncle Tom troupes." declared Tom Johnson, manager of the Gayety theater, "when the traveling show business was con sidered more or less hazardous. , "I had been ordered to double back to take in a live town, and plaster it with announcements of our wonder- r..i . ... mi spectacle, ana as i was riding i through Poutrhkeeosie. N. Y.. I and- i demy gazed out on tne piattorm, and to my amazement, a thrilling sight met my gaze there on the platform was the donkey, icebergs and the whole show, unceremoniously and un-, guarded in an abandoned shape. '; "I left the train and walked four miles to Pleasant Valley, where the 'angel lived, and discovered the show had been out of business for several days." Daddy' Little Frock. 1 A Scotchman In Canada had completed his preliminary training with the "khues and the wife journeyed down to his depot to say farewell, taking with her their ,-year-old grl, related Lord Curson at ft, recent London banquet. Wrhen they arrived, a It happened, the husband was on sentry duty, and so they could not approach him for a little while, until It wan his turn to be relieved. The child eyed her "daddy" with a rather sor rowful but amazed expression as he paced up ana down tne barrack square, shoulder lng his rifle and wearing a kilt. She had never seen him thus arrayed, and for a few minutes the speotacle seemed quite beyond her, but for no longer could ah keep alienee. "Mamma," she said, ra Tote that Be trayed a trass of childish covetousneea, If daddy finds the man that tol "ee trousers will be gimme dat llckle frock T" Chicago Herald. observed by all the states. Througi the efforts of the late J. Sterling Mor ton, April 10, 1872, was first desig nated by the legislature of Nebraska as a state holiday, the time to be de voted to' tret planting. Two yean later, Robert W. Furnas, then gov- " ernor, by proclamation fixed the third Wednesday in April as the date foi Arbor day. This date continued to be observed until 1885, when the leg- ' T . ' . C XT-t 1 , . lsiaiure 01 :e rasKa nasapn 9 law designating April 22 of each year ai Arbor day and making it a legal holi day. This date is Mr. Morton's birth- j day. ;. 'A Although J. Sterling Morton ' has f uvnu .imuj. ;vaia, 11C UVCU enough to see. Arbor day become a legal holiday in more than 40 of the states and territories and in each sUte and territory the observance of the " nppn nmn nnn it v.Aiff. A !... . i -i holiday is on his birthday. A NATURAL MISTAKE., A Scot from Peebles emigrated to Canada, and the morning after his arrival hailed a coal black African at a street corner. "Hoot, mon," he said, "can ye tell me whaur I'll find the kirk?" It so happened that the African had been born in Scotland himse.f i and had a burr aa bad as the Pee bles man's. ' "Gang richt up to yon house," hv said, "take the richt turnin,' and. losh, ye're there." ? The white Scot looked dazed'. , "Aiblins ye're frae Scotland yer sel'?" he said. "Richt ye are," said the black Scot. "Aberdeen's ma hame." "Hoo Iang ha'e ye been ower here?" "Aboot too year." "Heaven save us and keep us!" sa'd the whit Scot. "Whaur can I get the next boat for Olasgae?" London Opinion. ' Bill's Awakening. "I understand old man Simpkins was very much opposed to his tiauuii ter marrying Bill Smith: called mil a 1 fool and all that sort of thing " S j "That's very true, and before li 1 had been married six months Bii: iM- i miuea ine oia man , was Il " '' uauai ewr -