The Omaha Sunday Bee
SUNDAY MORNING, APRIL 7, 1918.
'
By EDWARD BLACK.
The Dialogue! of Jane and Paul.
The red chade which Jane had made
for the reading lamp shed a rich glow
over the table at which she and Paul
at in the quiet evening hour of their
dove-cot. This cheery illumination
s accentuated the features of the twain
s they faced each other.
Jane I just heard a noise.
Paul That was only a movement,
on foot to start a well-defined rumor
that there is nothing new under the
un.
Jane You have set me to thinking.
Do we just go around and around in
an endless chain of joys and sor
rows? Paul Oh, no; sometimes we bump
against obstacles and sometimes we
Kgo scampering across lots to get away
from a surprise attack. Generally
speaking, there is nothing new under
:he sun except the'wayof a woman
n exDressinor her opinion of another
Roman without saying a word.
Yea, Paul, Long Ago. .
Jane I was just thinking of those
lappy days,, those cloudless May days
f long ago.
Faul 1 know what you. want to
lay; you mean those days when I
called you a turtle-dove and the prin
cess of my heart, and told you that
there was sunshine in your smile and
til of the rest of it.
T T I 1. . 1
davs.
Paul Do you remember the time
ft hen we went to a Sunday school
Dicnic and you worried because you
;hought that the ice cream would bt
til gone before the minister had been
lerved; and come to find out, the
The Weekly j& Bubble Bee
..... V
OMAHA, SUNDAY MORNING, APRIL 7, 1918.' V
" 1 . ' . , I
thjc weekly bt'mbi.e bee.
.Jl. stinger, editor.
Communication en any toplo
received, without postage or
llgnatur. Mono returned. '
NO ADS AT ANT PRICB.
The
. I.OVE.
as email bojr lows a shingle,
Br hi father' haml applied;
At the donkey love the Unfit
Of a lash upon hi alle;
A a brewer love a preacher,
Or an editor a poet.
Tbu do I love Mr. Sttua-er
drawn
And I'm (lad to have him
know It
Anhur Kdly Knott.
VNAJiSW ERABI.E.
Socrates Arganapopopopolos,
But
none too
have not
by others.
who ehlned our shoe the other
day, twin asked by in why
they raised the price of shines
to It cents, replied: ''Wo puta
da odder ft' cent . tn thrift
a tamp." We could make no
adequate reply to the patriot
W only-wondered why they
haven't raiaed the pric to $1.
historical
generation
Then they could put S cent In
thrift stamps.
them
curate
, DRASTIC.
' Bit- alma In alarinc red let
Omaha.
Writer
tera command "SILENCE" In
free to
the Red Croaa headquarter
In their
where acorea women work
quate
all through the day. making
hospital supplies. Think of It
with ao many ladlea working!
Silence! No aosaipl The dear
creature certainly mean busl-
and try
ea.
- WRITE.
Still the government call for
tenographers, . If the red tape
wera, cut w would need only
Our
lished
th great
about one-fourth aa many te
nographera aa we have. Word
cam to an Omahan la it week
from a ateiwwrapher who went
with an
to Waahingtoa recently, statins
Not
that th Job I a "cinch." "Noth
viewing
ing to do hardly all day. We
sands,
' tJuat ait around." aald the letter,
CORKER.
-i Thl week' scenario bint
Modest
Write .a atory of the Klondike
In which a mtnlater fall in
love with a cabaret girl In "The
Nngget" saloon. -He licit the
saloonkeeper tn a big, rough
' fight and then marries th girl.
member,
(iOOSE.
Five and aeventy Omihini
Commissioners would have been,
Bat along came the primaries
And then there were fourteen.
Fourteen hopeful Omahan.
Moving earth and heaven.
Along came election
And then there were eren.
before
How
position
Can't tha Ed. P. Smith people
find aorae candidate named
beeid
. TJahlman. Butler, Kugel. etc.,
little
to pot on tb ballet as a re-
man
pric I for the placing of Ed. A.
while
- .
feg u hounJhiefSom disctppointmex-
minister had had three dishes and
there was enough left to send some
Jo Widow Jones who was at home
nursing a toot on which her cow had
stepped? v
Jane I remember it all.
Ah, Those Happy Days.
Paul And do you remember the
time when the minister called, and
grandpa, while demonstrating what
steady nerve he had, accidentally dis
charged a revolver in the parlor and
the cat jumped through a window and
grandpa dropped his false teeth' into
the fish bowl?
JaneVYes, and the minister said he
would call on another clay. We'll
never quarrel again, will we, Paul?
Paul Never again, . "'
Jane Td insure the continuity of
our future happiness let us arbitrate
by agreeing to allow each other cer
tain little privileges and rules of con
duct. '
J Paul You may reserve me a front
seat. - .
Jane-r-WUl you try to be just an
BUMBLE BEE MAKES ANOTHER GREAT
STRIDE FORWARD BY ENGAGING
OF A SPECIAL ARTIST ON ITS
Will Publish rioturaa of Current
9 CC" N" Vd
Events, Draw by America'
Most Celebrated
Illustrator.
Humble Bee. ever In tho
vanguard of progress, this
week Inaugurates a new feature
which will be of Intense inter
est to Its thousand of reader.
Illustration of current event.
by our special artist!
Thousands hav considered
Tho Bumble Bee so near perfec
tion that it could not be im
proved. - Wo might well have
rested upon our laurel.
our motto, "Tho best 1
good for our read
I.I BERT V BOND
ers," urged us to climb tn even
greater lieiRhts, such heights as
'Stars and Stripes."
li. en given dreamed of
ing bauds, the big
division (or rather
Therefore, our reader In the
of women), the Boy
future will have thl weekly
Illustration, drawn by our ape-
many other features
farada for liberty
i-IhI artist, lie will sketch the
event a an eye wltneaa so that
no important detail shall be left
out. These picture will be of
our special artist
upon tha spot.
W haveu't quite
our Illustration will
value, ao that future
may look back on
week but probably
ture of the 14 nominees for city
and find In them an ac
commissioner.
pictorial history of
ADVANCEMENT.
of history will be
Bob Manley made
reproduce the picture
swift promotion.
histories, giving ade
he was a mere private m the
Liberty bond parade. Tuesday he
credit, such a "Illustra
tlon taken from Th Bumble
Beo (Date):" Home publica
tions, after securing such lllus
tratlona, would copyright them
was mane a captnin
Wednesday he was
he naa to be one
shals and Thursday
to keep others from us
pointed grand marshal of the
Ing them. But The Bumble Bee
I too public-spirited to do any
uch thing.
Second division.
DECREPIT.
first Illustration Is pub
Tom Flynn tell
herewith and represent
the German who ttrlnted "C.ott
mlt una" on a board and held It
-Liberty bond pacade
of yesterday. Thus wo start oft
up above the ttcneh.
Immediately painted
mlttuns, too," and
for tha Hermans to
event which Is, w
might say, of International im
portance, i
the vast crowds anown.
thought the atory
th marching thou
Ing when w first
th waving banner! and
early tn August, 114.
THRIFT.
CHANTICLEER,
Th most axtravagaut nation
Mayor Jim asks to be
on the globe 1 learning economy,
re-elected "because the cite-
We saw a well-dressed girl atop
on Farnam street and pick up a
of Omaha ha made greater
progress during my admlnistra
tlon than any other city of slm
liar six In tha same period.'
Chanticleer's crowing, you ro
piece of tinfoil. A
but indicating how
trending.
caused th aun to rise,
f WILLING.
"Buy. food jrlth
ESTIMATE.
cook It with cte,"
Twenty-seven thousand girl
work la the Woodmen of the
World building. We mad this
administration a
fortunately we hav
with money and
calculation while waiting for
coal or gas. ,
an elevator In th lobby Just
1 p. m.
FREQUENTLY.
"A demagogue," explained
proud th present world
of Belgium and Serbia
boy in on t of th Omaha
school, "la a vessel to contain
that of Russia, Tha two
bear and other liquid."
chap battled tha Ger-
monster tooth and nail
Thafa bo mere
the riant craven sun-end-
Beraey coming
average man and will you promise me
to abstain from telling me any more
how your mother used to cook?,
Paul I will sign the papers.
Jane What is your idea of an
average man?
He's a Bear Today.
, ' Paul An average man can trace
his family tree back to Adam, who
was the original average man. In
Adam's day the average man slept
until noon and did not care anything
about saving daylight. Today the
average man throws back the bjyl
covers at sunrise, grabs under his pil
low for his watch, pours a basin of
breakfast food into his facial orifice,
tnisses one street car and, waits for
the next, works all day, returns home
in the evening, is met a block away
from his home on pay day by his
family who take his dinner pail and
pay envelope into custody, while the
liver is scorching on the stove at
home. ,
Jane Is this the way people arbi
trate? i
Paul Yes; they just get together
LAI DATE!
Why doesn't someone sing the
AID
STAFF
praises of the firemen, engineers.
towards, waiters, seamen and
the rest of tha crews of ships
who go back and forth over the
submarine Infested ocean T There
Is no finer brand of courage than
their. They undergo the great
est dangors and haven't' even
uniform to show when they
are ashore. Wo take off our
hat to you, brave motley crew
of many nations, Tou don't know
fear and you don t even ask
for pralac. i
CINNAMON,
A young woman who live at
Fortieth and Cuming cam home
on a recent wheatleas day with
dozen cinnamon roll.
"I had an awful time getting
something for wheatles day,
mother," she said.
"But my dear, w can t eat
these on wheatless day. What did
PARADE.
you think cinnamon rolls are
made of?" exclaimed mother. .
tti,' play
'Why, cinnamon," said daugh
women's
ter. . . . -
big division
8cut and
AWE.
of the great
TV can't overcome1 our awe
a seen by
of . tho bank factotum. We
as he stood
wera in the bank Tnuceaay.
There he was In hi grand uni
decided what
form, straightening up the ata
bo next
tlonery and eyeing all the bank
a group pic
customers. To the factotum
every man la a potential bank
robber. Xa gave us a suspicious
look. We hurried out of th
bank a toon at possible.
a record for
Last Msnday
HORRIBLE,
Th third Liberty loa will
be oversubscribed In splta of the
or o men,
"new national song" written and
notified that
approved to boost It Tha eong
of it he mar
ia th doggerelest kind oc dog
he was ap
gerel. But remember you- are
asked to' BUY the bonds, not
to slngt the song..
FLAPPER.
One of life's little amuse
the story of
ments to us nowadays is read
ing scathing criticism of our
A Sammy
"We've got
held it up
aee. We
national war preparations.
written by young gttls who are
In Paris with mother "doing
war work."
rather atnus
heard it,
FIRE.
City Commissioner Jard.ne's
campaign card i fiery red and
on it in white letter, signifying
purity. It the word Danger.
The danger, Mr, Jardlns aaya, la
that he won't be elected unlets
you vote for him.
am II thing,
thought is
MIGHT.
A colored widow In Emporia,
Kan., inveated her total sav.
ings. $200, tn Liberty bond.
thought
Thus does tha ttqy ot the
say th food
wldow't mite repeat Itself.
LAUGHTER.
ilogan. Un
to buy
cook. It with
Th Barber Creamery Supply
company doe business in Chi
cago. wonder if this ac
counts for the hair In the butter.
Teehee!
A writer. say th kaiser la
"prophyrogene." Th well known
. I compendium ok noan newer
hearsay about doe not contain tb word,
back to Fort I However, It sound bad enough.
and fight it out. Will you promise
that you will never again tell me
that barking dogs do not bite?
Jane I will promise. There always
is something to be thankful for, isn't
there, Paul? I am thankful, for in
stance, that you do not wear a wrist
watch.
Let Us Give Thanks.
Paul We should be thankful every
time we arise and the sun is shining;
every time, we retire and the street
lights are shining; every time the gas
company forgets to send us a bill.
Jane Did you mean it when you
said that I reminded you of a dill
pickle? i
Paul Did I intimate that the
physical attributes of my one, dear
little wifey were like the perspective
of a dill pickle? I must have been
delirious. Were you in earnest when
you said "you wanted to find out why
I married you?
Jane That was because I loved
you. I have changed my mind about
wanting to know so much. Did you
mean it when vou said that busy men
f sometimes forget about such little
aflairs as wen. a wue, lor msiancer
. Few and Far Between.
Paul I did not mean to say all
men. There are exceptions, I would
have you tp know. . ,
Jane Are you an exception?
Paul My teacher always said that
I was. f
Jane And you will never, never
agaitntell me to shut my njputh?
Taul If you will agree to never
again remind me of the men you said
you might have married before you
firs mefme. . ,,
Jane If you will never again tell
me that you married me to save me
from being an old maid.
Paul Acrced.
And the soft, rich light of the new
red shade of the reading lamp con
tinued to shed. its' glow over a pamH
of happy faces.
VaudevilleWhile You Wait.
I see a man moving a load ot
framed pictures.
Moving pictures, ehf
I will say so.
What else do you stc?
I see a brindlc cow sobbing herself
to sleep.
You mean that you see a, female
specimen of the bovine family enjoy
ing a lachrymose respite.
And what do you see nowr
I cat! see a woman hanging out a
ine of skirts in the suburbs. '
The out-skirts of the tiity, what?
What else do you see?
I see a mother whipping her boy
because hex poured syrup down his
father's back.
Is she making a lasting impression.'
She is making her presence felt.
And what next do you see?
I see a chauffeur under an auto
mobile, fixing the critter.
men ne must ne wonting unaer au
ficulties, isn't he?
Ds. Oscar Putt Savs:
"I read, m the newspapers that bak
ers may not use rye- as a substitute
and I have observed that many substi
tutes for rye have been used in these
parts since May 1. 1917. The road to
St Joseph is tolerable dusty these
days."
Telling It to Mother.
A charmtng city girl went to the
country to spend a part of the sum
mer season with a favorite aunt One
afternoon the aunt went to call on
some friends, leaving the city niece
alone with the malua ji the big farm
house. N i
"I Jiope you haven't been lonely,
dear," solicitously remarked aunty on
her return in the evening. "What
have you been doing all the after
noon?" i
"I haven't been lonely a bit, aunty,
dear," answered the niece. "I spent
the entire afternoon Jn the hammock
with my beloved Robert Browning."
"What's that?" exclaimed the scan
dalised aunt in a cold, hard voice.
"Really, Gladys, I can't permit such
doings. If it occurs again I shall cer
tainly write to your mother." Phil
adelphia Telegraph.
War's Encouragement.
Banks Don't you think the war
will have a tendency to discourage
matrimony?
Hanks Not much. The men will
be more eager than ever to marry
Why, look how the war Is showing
women how to support a family!
Baltimore American,
&mM i lyi
BY EDWARD BLACK.
When Harry B. Zunman lived in
Chicago, 30 years ago, his boyish
imagination was stimulated by pic
tures and stories of the great west,
where he believed that Indians and
cowboys and buffaloes played to
gether in a never-ending carnival.
One day a wild west show entour
age passed his home and he observed
the boya with their large hats and
other accoutrement, and it was .this
spectacle in real life that prompted
him to resolve to become a cowboy in
the wild, wild west, the wilder the
better. He was only a little chap,
then, but he believed that a cowboy
. -i e
was the apotncosis oi an numan
achievement. '
Came a day when Ins parents an
nounced their plans of moving to the
west, to a city known as Omaha. Mr.
Zimman soon revised his notions
about cowboys and Indians. He en
tered the Dodge school, inSthe build
ing now used as central police sta
tion, and he applied himself assidu
ously to the three Rs and then some
more.
Grocery. Store Clerk. '
He entered -business life as a clerk
in a grocery store, being yet a boy
when he told the proprietor that he
wanted a job. He took life seriously
and made an early resolution to suc
ceed in whatever he undertook. - He
made good in the store because he
attended to the smaU details of the
business and never allowed a patron
to leave without being satisfied. His
spare time during his store work
wav used in reading books which
would develop his mind. He read
a series on civil government and he
went through a small library on polit
ical economy and read the famous de
bates. He attended as many public
meetings as he could and during the
historic 16-to-l campaign of 1896 he
received his inspiration, to become a
public speaker.
Before the 1896 forensic outbreak-
Mr. Zimman had been a member of
a debating society which met in the
old Hascall hall on South Thirteenth
street. This place was a social center
after a manner and the debating so
ciety developed into a popular fea
ture. It was an eventful night for
him when he was chosen as a member
of one of the debating teams. He prac
ticed in a rear room of the grocery
store where he was employed, and
on the night of the debate he was
greeted by many friends when he
appeared on the platform. During
the campaign of 1896 he appeared as
a platform and street speaker for the
republican party during the stirring
discussions of tha year.
. Youngest Council Member.
Hi entrance into the political arena
as.a candidate for office followed in
natural sequence.-JHe was only 21
years old when elected to the city
council, taking his seat as the young
est member ever elected to that body.
His- declamatory experience stood
him in good stead on the floor of the
council chamber. He took positive
stands on vital matters and his de
wlopment in qualities of leadership
won for him a second term and the
presidency of the council. He was
returned for a third term to the coun
cil and filled the unexpired term of
the late Mayor Moores', Nine years of
continuous service in the city hall
gave him a wide experience in public
affars. He initiated many progres
sive measures and is on record as
vigorously opposing extravagant and
vicious measures. He has always
stood steadfastly in the republican
party as the organization which best
expresses the principles in which he
believes.
Friends Are, Confident.
Mr. Zimman has filed as a candi
date for the next city council and
will be one of the aspirants for nomi
nation at the primary next Tuesday.
His friends are confident of his nomi
nation and election. No opposition
worth mentioning has been shown
Thrilliny
Moments of
Their Lives
He's Had Several.
"The most thrilling moment "in my f
life? Well. I've had several," adm:tA
ted "Cupid" Stubbendorf, "at least
they seemed thrills to me at the time,
and even now, looking back, I can
feel again the suspense to which I
was subjected. For instance, the time
my father caught me red-handed en
joying a few fragrant moments with
my Lady Nicotine. He didn't wallop,
as I confidently expected he "would.
Instead, he waited several days, never
so much as giving me the courtesy ot
a glance. That was suspense. And the
thrill came when he announced that
flogging would do no good tq the,
rascal who jeopardized his health by -smoking.
...
"And then that breath-taking mo
ment when . I asked her to be my "
wife. Those few seconds of indecision
were an eternity.
"But these historic events of my
life -vdwindle into- nothingness when
I think of my first attempt to ncie a
horse. I was at a neighboring hall
to watch a parade. The major domo
rode majestically at the head astride
a dazzling white horse. He dis
mounted in front of the hall and a
call went up for a volunteer to ride
the horse back to the stable, a mi!
away. A carraige, which had been'
hired for the occasion, was to precede
and show the way.
"Here at lasf was my opportunity
to ride a hotse. I scampered to the
fore as fast as my then short legs
could carry me and volunteered. I
assured them that Buffalo Bill was a
rank second rater in aomparison to
yours truly, and reminded them all
jockies were small, so they acqui
esced. I climbed aboard, I guess that's
the term, and clucked to. the noble
steed. That cluck was my undoing.
He lit out at a brisk canter, or maybe, '
it was a trot, tut any rate, bystand-
ers could have plainly seen daylight
between me and the saadle from then
on. The animal was stopped after
traveling a half mile in something
like nothing, and I 'fell off. It was
years later , before I dared to admit
this deed of daring in the hearing of
my toiKS.
Battles Insane Man.
"Did I ever experience a thrilling
moment?" ... asked-repliedL Detective
Sergeant Troby, in answer to au in
quisitive query. "Well, I should opine
I have, and many of them that I'll
never forget. To mention one, how-
i-ever, I was detailed to investigate into
a domestic atlair apropos ot an insane
person who was terrorizing persons
living; in the vicinity of Little Italy.
This happened nine years ago.
"When I arrived at my destination ,
the insane man ha& already barri
caded himsejf in a vacant house and
was well equipped with revolvers and
ammunition, as was told to me. I used
much discretion about the matter, and
even succeeded in quietly slipping in
to tfie house unrecognized by my ob
jective. I saw him sitting on a chair
near a table with a gun in his hand '
and musing to himself. My nly ,
thought was to overpower him -s.
quickly as possibleand, with a befund,
my thought materialized. .
"I was wearing gloves at the time,
and in a sudden effort to take them
off, the perspiring hands of the in
sane man became loosened. Before I
could realize what had occurred, he
had snatched a revolver from the
table and fired a shot point blank at
me, I thought.
"A few moments found my victim
overpowered and several more mo
ments saw him safely in. a cell. Luck
ily for me, the bullet grazed my
abdomen and lodged in my right arm.
I experienced more of a thrill in that
brief struggle than I suffered from
the wound."
A British Thrill.
"Thrills?" said Major General Swin
ton in response to a question, "Oh,
come now, Otd Top, have a heart."
The British inventor of the famous
war tank likes his slang and is quite
proud of it. "Perhaps the best 'thrill'
I ever had was not connected withi
any exciting adventure, but it was a
thrill nevertheless. The incident hap
pened during the Boer war and tha
principal actor was a Yankee 'Leftcn
ant I had serving under me.
"You know part of the. uniform of
the higher British officers is what we
call the 'dope-tag,' a red decoration on
the lapel of the blouse. It carries with
it considerable authority. Well, this
Yankee was superintending the build
ing of a bridge and when I came t
his part- of the line one morning on
inspection, I noticed a piece of red
flannel caught to his lapel with a
paper clip.
"What does that mean," I asked
him.
" 'Well, sir.' he responded. 'I want
ed a little more authority, so I just
if
il til)
took it.'
"He wore his 'dope-tag' unti
bridge was built." '
Down in Mexico.
F. E. Sheehan had a real thrillingf
ioment when he was in Mexico re
cently. He was down there on a la
case, which ipvolved, among other
things, that 'he round up several
thousand head of cattle and send them
to market.
He went across the line with sev
eral cowboys. A troublesome toorh
worried him and eventually it became
so bad that he determined to get
somethine to relieve the pain. This
was late at night. Jn a small town
he and a companion made their way
to a small saloon. They knocked on
the door, they finally pounded with all
their might on the door. But no out
responded. . They had about given up
when it was suddenly thrown open
and a big Mexican shoved two very
big guns in their faces. "I thought ii
n- St e r l T - a. "
was an . on, said sneenan. out n
wasn't. After the first thrill tha
eMxican calmed down and sold thenr
the whisky that was to quiet the pain
in Sheehan's tooth. .
against him in this campaign. It is
also significant that in a primary test
vote taken last week his name ap
peared on the ballots in almost every
instance.
It has been said of Mr. Zimman that
while in the public service he did not
allow political opportunism to divert
him from his course'when he was fol
lowing a principle or policy in which
he had full faith. ,
Smith there?
ere a aoieciiy.
Omaha Wdjll sy he Is,