THE BEE: OMAHA, WEDNESDAY. MARCH 6, 1918.
The Omaha Bee
DAILY (MORNING) EVENING SUNDAY
FOUNDED BY EDWARD R OSWATER
VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOB
THE BlJtHJBUSHINO COMPANY. PKOPsUrTOBT
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FEBRUARY CIRCULATION ,
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One consolation is within reach of Russians
who think. Matters could not be worse for them.
The advance agent of that gigantic German
offensive on the west front must have overdone
his job. 1
Whatever goes up must come down, but the
egg men evidently did not believe this applied
to them. ,
Of course, Mr. Heney did not intend to re
flect on General Plummet, Jbut merely to soft
soap him. "
Though, one year of his second term is gone,
there still remain three more years to get , us
out of war.
According to the political weather chart, the
Ed P. Smith mayoralty boomlet does not as yet
seem to have won the favor of the .senator or
his hyphenated newspaper.
-- --- i
One effect of the German advance into Rus-
sia Has been to oring to ngnt t lot ox names 01
S. J . I I 1 . t. TL
tAurni tifvur narn ni in rnrse nam uciorc. lie
war is great incentive to the study of geog
Austria is reported to bt securing rich loot
from Ukrainian towns, with which a peace treaty
recently was negotiated. Does ijot this make
clear the value of an agreement with a Teutonic
.combination?;..'-;;...' ''.'i
....
s .- r...: . . -
Packers are pleading with the food adminis
trator to help them out on a lot of stuff they have
in storage and on which the selling price Was
gone down. The ultimate consumer will watch
the result closely. " t
Our amiable hyphenated contemporary just
cannot understand how the tenator'i serpentine
.record can be so woefully misunderstood when
it is busy every day trying to straighten it out
with all the modern camouflage, utensils, r
The Lincoln Journal suggests that doing away
with salary would solve most of the evils of the
commission forrri of city government. Holy
stnokel Is the profession of politics to be put
in the same class as that of philanthropy!
The choice of Mr. Lovett to be chief assist
ant to Uncle Sam in running the railroads is an
excellent one. Besides that, he is t good Texas
democrat and one of the few big railroad presi
dents who supported , President Wilson. force
election. . . . .,.-
Bolshevik! Give Up Propaganda.
How utterly abjtct and humiliating ,the sur
render of the bolshevik! to the kaiser is disclosed
by further details of contents of the peace agree
ment just concluded at Brest-Lltovsk, It is now
stated that one of the earliest articles in the
main treaty provides that' neither party shall
carry on any agitation or other interference with
the internal affairs of the other. .Thus ,the rep
resentatives of the Russian proletariat abandon
the dearest of their prerogatives, that of active
propaganda. The windjammers of Petrograd,
whose flow of words ran on and on, a flood de
signed to overwhelm the hated capitalist of every
race, and who were going to persuade the peas
ants and workmen of Germany and Austria to
join them in establishing an economic millenium,
are deprived by their own action of that privi
lege. The first class conscious Russian who
mounts a soapbox in the new German territory
Its il 4 -J
to 6pout against tne oourgeoisie win snortiy una
himself standing against a wall, facing a firing
squad. Germany wastes little tine in dealing with
these. But American socialists, headed by Vic
tor Berger and Adolph Germer, atill cling to the
St. Louis declaration, which hoi is that kind words
will unite the workers and more than natch the
mailed fist of Prussian militarism.
A Free Field and Fair Race.
It is already evident that Omaha's third elec
tion under the commission plan of city govern
ment is to show up a list of entries on the po
litical race track about as large, and perhaps
larger, than the preceding contests.
The theory of the commission plan with its
nonpartisan ballot and elimination primary is to
offer a free field to anybody and everybody who
feels himself competent to pull down a $4,500
salary-and can persuade 100 of his fellow citizens
to attach their signatures to his petition.
Under these conditions we are bound to have
a heterogeneous mass of primary candidates that
will have to be sifted out for the final choice in
the election. It will devolve upon the voters tod
sidetrack the incompetents and the lightweights
and to reject those with shady records. If it is
a fair race illumined by the full light of publicity
on the relative claims and merits and demerits
of the candidates no one can question the re
sult as reflecting the real desires of the people.
The Bee is not setting up candidates, but for
all concerned it repeats its warning that the city
hall, no more than thecourt house, is a proper
place for corrupt political profiteers.
Landsdowne Versus Henderson.
Lord Landsdowne, who re:ently startled the
world and shocked his Tory associates into apol
ogy for him, has again addressed himself to the
public on the subject of peace. He sees in
Chancellor von Hertling'g late statement to the
Reichstag committee an open way to negotiations
and expresses a timid hope that the invitation
to a conference may be accepted. - Landsdowne,
however, falls into the error that has charac
terized the course of his class from the begin
ning. He interprets the suggestion of the Ger
man chancellor, and probably is correct, not to
mean a formal peace conference of the powers,
but a quiet gathering of a few influential citizens,
who confidentially will talk over the situation
and arrange preliminary" terms to be presented to
a duly organized body of accredited delegates.
And this is just what '.be people do not want
Arthur Henderson, who is secretary of the
labor party for Great Britain, opening the cam
paign for a new election, states the case for the
ther side very fairly. He announces as fore
most among the aims of the group he speaks
for the abolition of secret diplomacy. Treaties
must be openly negotiated and must never con
travene the fundamentals on which' his proposed
league of nations rests. It will be the part of
wisdom for Lord Landsdowne and those uf his
mind to give heed to "what Henderson says. He
represents a rising principle in politics, a more
potent democracy, while the advocates of. the
old-fashioned Tory notions are dwindling in num
bers and influence. ,"' '
- Whether, all of the program outlined by Hen
derson in his address is attainable, or even de
sirable, need not now be debated. The fact Mat
the labor party , in Great Britain Is growing in
numbers and power through its devotion to
new ideas resting on world-old ideals, fint f
which is that treaties must be made for the peo
ple and not for the rulers, is an indication of the
turn of sentiment. Blood and treasure Is being
expended to make the world safe for democracy
and not to perpetuate class distinctions.
Calla Ex-Famera Back to Land. '
Secretary Houston has apooached the farm
labor problem from one angle that seems prac
tical in all its aspects. He suggests that men
who have moved to town from the farm retrace
their steps and help raise a crop to win the war.
Here are hie words: ?
"If soldiers are willing to serve in the
trenches and risk their lives many civilians can
well afford to spare a part of their time to serve
in the furrows and in the harvest fields. In
many towns and cities there are men who have v
, had farming experience, who are able-bodied
and who would doubtless be willing to serve
the nation in the field of agriculture at this
time. Especially for the seasonal strains of
planting, cultivating and harvesting it will not
be too much to ask such men to aid the farm
ers in the necessary undertaking of maintain
ing and, if possible, supplementing the food
supply in order to feed the armies and to sus
tain the civilian population behind them."
v. Nebraska has its quota of these men, who are
busy at cne thing or another in town, but who
well can afford to give a little time to the big
duty of helping out on 'the farm this summer and
maybe' next.". -.: ' "
Chicago ts some town, but' is going to have
its hands full for the next few days, with a Billy
Sunday revival a local option fight and the
movement to suppress crime all going at one
KIIU IMC MlllC UillC. IV MIKJT VC II1G UC
interlocking, but, even so, they make up a con
siderable program, even for Chicago.
. Socialists are now complaining that the Allies
did not support Ierensky. Admitting that they
did not, how much help did he get from the reds,
who denounced him as a representative of the
bourgeoisie and a capitalist in disguise, while
hailing Trotzky and Lenine as the saviors of the
proletariat?
Speculation as to where Hindenburg proposes,
to stri&; if he strikes at all, does little harm nor
any good. It is not probable the Germans will
widely advertise their purpose in advance, so we
will only know exactly when they start what spot
they have picked as most favorable.
German Of ficials Condemn Germany
The Invasion of Belgium in the Light of History
Prof. O. C. Fiske, Wisconsin University.
Germany's violation of the neutrality of
Belgium has been called a crime against
civilization. Are there cold facts to prove
this?
A neutralized state is one that has been
guaranteed freedom from invasion upon con
dition that it wage no war beyond its bor
ders. Switzerland, Luxemburg, and Belgium
are such states. .
Belgium was created a neutralized nation
in 1839 by a treaty signed by Great Britain,
France, Russia, Prussia, Austria. They
agreed that Belgium' should form an inde
pendent and perpetually neutral state, and
bound themselves to interfere for the de
fense of Belgium against any power at
tempting to invade Belgian territory. Bel
gium, in its turn was pledged to observe
neutrality towards all other states. This
treaty was reaffirmed in 1870 and respected
in the Franco-Prussian war. ,
But Belgium, like every other neutral
state, had also the protection of The Hague
convention of 1907. The United States as
well as all the other great powers signed that
convention. The Hague convention says that
the territory of neutral powers shall not be
invaded; that troops or supplies of bel
ligerents shall not move across it; and that
if a foreign power invades a neutralized
country, the neutral country has the right
and duty to resist.
Thus doubly protected Belgium and Lux
emburg had every reason to expect that like
Switzerland their neutrality would be re
spected by all belligerents.
Nevertheless on August 2, 1914, Belgium
received an ultimatum from Germany de
manding the right to pass troops through
Belgian territory. It promised at the con
clusion of peace to restore the property and
the independence of the Belgian kingdom in
full. If Belgium resisted. Germany would
consider it an enemy. As an enemy, Ger
many declared that it could not guarantee
the independence of Belgium thereafter.
In accordance with the treaty of 1849 and
of The Hague convention, this brutal ulti
matum forced an industrious and absolutely
innocent people into war. For suppose that
Belgium had agreed to Germany's proposal
Belgium would then have forfeited all right
to be treated as a neutral and independent
nation by Great Britain and France. If they
were victorious in the war, they would have
been justified in destroying its independence.
Also, what guarantees would the Belgians
have had that a victorious Germany after
ruthlessly breaking one agreement would
keep another? The determination to main
tain her independence as well as regard for
her honor as a nation inevitably led Belgium
to refuse the German demand.
Germany made no charges against the
loyalty of Belgium. On the contrary the
German Foreign Minister von Jagow, when
interviewed on the morning of August 4,
1914, by the Belgian ambassador, said:
"Germany has nothing with which to re
proach Belgium, and the attitude of Belgium
has always been perfectly correct"
On the same afternoon in his famous
speech before the Reichstag, von Bethmann
Hollweg, the German chancellor, said:
"We are in a state of necessity and ne
cessity knows no law So we were com
pelled to override the just protest of the Lux
emburg and Belgian governments."
Out of the mouths of its two highest offi
cials Germany thus condemns itself.
There is not a shred of evidence that
France intended to invade Belgium. When
asked by Great Britain on July 31, 1914,
France on the same day replied that she in
tended to respect the neutrality of Belgium,
and so informed the Belgian government.
Great Britain had told the Belgian gov
ernment asearly as April 7, 1913, that it
would not invade Belgium except to defend
its neutrality, never first v
What about Germany? When asked by
Great Britain on July 31. 1914, Germany re
fused to make any promise.
France, Belgium, and Great Britain have
a clean slate. Germany is a self-confessed
criminal in the court of civilization.
Two months later Germany announced
that she had found in the Belgian war office
records of a proposed plan by which Eng
land was to pass through Belgium to attack
Germany. She did not point out that these
same documents showed that the plan was
to be carried out only in case Germany in
vaded Belgium. Neither did it explain that
King Albert had told her of this plan when
it was made several years before the war be
gan. Germany's attempt to excuse her gross
violation of Belgium's neutrality is both
clumsy and dishonest.
Belgium and Great Britain were more
than Justified in their suspicions because of
the German strategic railways built for five
years before the war, which threatened the
eastern frontiers of Belgium like the
tentacles of an octopus
But what has the crime against Belgium
to do with our entrance into the war? Ger
many's violation of Belgium is a menace to
the Monroe doctrone. Will a victorious Ger
many that violated Belgium regard the rights
of the smalt nations in Central and South
America?
In the violation of Belgium's neutrality
we Americans see a concrete and bitter proof
of just what the realization of the ideas of
German military autocracy means to the
world and means to us. The German gov
ernment asserts that necessity knows no law,
that might makes right, that a solemn con
tract is a "scrap of paper." Such ideas are
a menace to every nation in Christendom.
Bolshevist Test of Socialism
Doctrine of Marx in Practice a World Object Lesson
- (Minneapolis Journal.)
In the bloody and riven laboratory of
Russia the doctrines of radical socialism are
being tried out. Never before have they been
fmt to the test on such a scale. And their
ruitage of anarchy, to be followed as inevit
ably by despotism, is already bitter in the
mouths of the Russian ; peoples.
'Radical socialism the sort that Marx
proclaimed and the bolsheviki are striving
to impose maintains thaf the only produc
tive worker is the man who works with his
muscles. Tolstoy declared .that all brain
workers are social parasites. Socialism de
mands a revolution in which the muscle
workers,! the proletariat, shall , overthrow
other classes and dominate society and gov
ernment. Socialism, theref6re, plans the au
tocracy of the proletariat. It is a form of
autocracy. , , r ,
c; This is precisely the doctrine which the
bolsheviki nave endeavored to carry out,
with results already disastrous, and with an
even bloodier and more fearful sequel im
pending. They rail at the "bourgeoisie," at
the intellectuals, at all who work with brains.
They insist that their class, and their class
alone, shall rule. They have set up their own
autocracy in place of the czaristic autocracy
that fell
They dissolved the Constituent Assembly,
elected by the representatives of all the Rus
sian peoples, because they could not con
trol it. They set up in its place the Soviets,
which are strictly of and by the proletariat
They made war on the Rada, elected by the
people of Little Russia, and are now striving
to overthrow the people of the Ukraine,
which the Rada set up. They attacked the
new government of Finland, and are at war
with the Cossacks of the Don, striving to
establish their own autocracy everywhere.
Manual labor is noble, but it cannot rule
both itself and other labor. Unless intelli
gence abdicates, ignorance cannot wield the
social scepter. The very fact of leadership
connotes brain work. Even the proletariat
must have its leaders, must choose those of
mental superiority, even though such choice
denies the whole theory of radical socialism.
The natural result follows, as it has fol
lowed, and is following in the rule of the bol
sheviki The demagogue comes into his own.
He has the brain of a leader, but not the
conscience. He shouts all the catch words of
the cult, and shouts them louder and more
persuasively than those who really believe in
them. He seizes the power and wields it un
til another who is wilier and more persuasive,
takes it from him. ...
v Thus out of the reek of anarchy climbs a
new despotism. The struggle to make the
muscle working class supreme over all others
results inevitably in creating an unscrupulous
demagoguism which seizes despotic power.
Bolshevism has brought forth its first
fruits anarchy. And it will yet bring forth
that which follows anarchy under such con
ditionsdespotism, whether native or Prus
sian. . . .; ,
Class rule is possible only when the ruling
class is superior in intelligence. That is bad
enough. But class rule founded on ignorance
and sentimentalism, carries within it the
germs of its own destruction.
Radical socialism is a theory so contra
dictory of the basic principles of human so
ciety that, when put to the test, it inevitably
destroys itself. Bolshevism is now running
its feverish and fitful course.. It should be
an object lesson to the democratic world of
the dangers of putting the theories of social
ism into practice. : i
y . -y.
A Fine Example oj . Loyalty
To overcome a crisis in the transporta
tion situation of the country A. O. Whar
ton, head ' of the railway employes' branch
of the American Federation of Labor, rep
resenting 300,000 workmen, has1 agreed with
Secretary McAdoo to a program for longer
work days, open shop conditions and more
important roes for apprentices and helpers
to the end that much needed repair work on
motive machinery and rolling stock may be
speeded up.
1 Here' is a notable instance of the willing
ness of patriotic American labor to come to
the aid of : the government in a serious
emergency. It "contrasts sharply with the
recent performances of woodworkers in
eastern shipyards performances that drew
a warm rebuke from the president
The arrangement with the railway em
ployes is temporary. Under it the men make
important concessions as to working condi
tions, but they have not surrendered or been
asked to surrender any right or privilege.
They have simply entered into friendly part
nership with Uncle Sam for the best possible
working out . of a purpose in which they, in
common with all other citizens, have a vital
interest. ; '
It is universally agreed by all but self
ish profiteers that there should be no relaxa
tion from established labor standards and
conditions during the (war except such as
may be called for from time to time tempo
rarily by exigencies that threaten' harm to
the nation's cause. That has been the policy
of the British government and public toward
British, labor, and labor, on its side, under
takes to make concessions when emergencies
command that action.
Labor is not apart from but it is an In
tegral part of the government In serving
the government" loyally it serves itself. No
?roup or class interest can dissociate itself
rom the government and still lay valid
claim to patriotism, whether it represent la
bor, capital, business or the professions. For
the purposes of this war there is only one
bandwagon. Over that flies the flag.
rrniw
One Year Ago Today In the War.
' Austria, in reply" to United States,
sought to justify U-boat ruthless war.
lare. " -
Supreme court of United States de
cided British ateamer Appam waa
brought Into American port by Ger
man prize crew In violation ot Amer
ican neutrality. : ' ;
The' Day We Celebrate.
Dr: Charles ,W. Pollard, physician,
born 1871. " .
Frank W. Corliss, president of the
Waterloo Creamery company, born
1842.. '
Prof. Archibald C. Coolldge of Har
ward university,, born in Boston, il
jears ago.
- Dr. Albert Parker fitch, former
president of Andover seminary, born
!n Boston. 41 years ago.
-William 3. Sweeney, .shortstop, born
.it Covington. Ky., 12 years ago. , ,
This Day In History.
1831 General Philip H. Sheridan.
rn at Albany, N. T. Died at Non
4Uitt, Mass:, August 6, 1888.
1886 Colonel James Bowie, killed
&t the taking of the Alamo. Born in
Georgia about lt0. . s . t
1882 Serbia was proclaimed a
kingdom. Prince Milan assuming the
title of King Milan I. t
1892 Popular welcome at Indian
apolis to ex-President Harrison on his
arrival at tha close of bis admlnistra
' tion. .. ..... ....... . v ..,..
Just SO Years Ago Today
Special policemen B. W. Brtggs,
J. D. Harrison. Henry Morgan, Max
H. Reuterlef and Q. Hyde have
furnished the necessary bonds for. a
faithful performance of duty.
The bakers of Omaha announce
that they will make loaves of 18
ounces ot bread which will retail tor
S cents. Loaves ot S3 ounces will sell
for 10 cent
The Cable Tramway company have
begun the operation - of the Dodge
street line.
The ministers of the Methodist
churohes in Omaha held their regular
meeting in the parlors of the Millard
hotel. - t, ' ; . .; . . : : .1 : :,
Among tho.e present at a meeting
of the South Omaha Stock Yards com
pany were:- J. A. McShane, J. L.
Sharp, W. A. Paxton, Isaac Walxel,
Milton Rogers. M. C. Keith. P. E.
Her, Joseph Nicholson and John F.
Boyd ' . t. -
- Right to the Point I
Minneapolis Journal: In the mat
ter of rising, the sun will shortly beat
you to it It you don't hop lively.
Wall Street Journal: In six months
the British navy safely convoyed 4,500
merchantmen over the North Sea.
Britannia still rules some ot the most
useful, waves. .
Louisville Courier-Journal: A war
garden planted early and planted and
'tended late will mean a profitable
summer and plenty in cans next win
ter, when canned goods may be not
only high, but hard to buy at any
price. . ,
Minneapolis Tribune: Bolo says he
has a thousand reasons why he should
not be executed. 'The French au.
thoritles have one satisfactory reason
why he should. Another case of
where the 1,000 to 1 shot loses.
New ' YorK Herald: "Count von
Hertllng complains of lack of under-'
standing in thts country of the fact
that kings and princes dominate the
state in Germany. If there is one
thing about Germany clearly under
stood in this country it is that
New York World: Tha practical
Germans do not expect much food out
of the Ukraine over a single-track
railroad in bad condition with one
change of gauge. Taking Odessa is
the alternative. Grain sent from
Kleft down the Dnieper and up the
Danube to Vienna must go as far as
from Presidio down the Rio Grande
and up the Mississippi to Keokuk:
and in summer only. There are limits
to the amount of food at present
available from that quarter,
State Press Comment
Gothenburg Independent: Our
criticism of this mysterious bread we
are trying to 'eat without looking at is
that it needs pneumatic treatment It
has been worked too much and was
not allowed to loaf and get puffed up.
Aurora Sun: This community has
a citizen who has spent 39.80 worth
of time explaining to his friends why
he could not contribute 33 to the Red
Cross. Would you employ this man
if you were looking for an efficiency
expert? i ,
Kenesaw Progress: Nebraska is in
the lead again, but that occurs so
often that we are becoming accus
tomed to it and receive the announce
ment as Just a matter of course. This
time this great commonwealth is
ahead of all the other states ot the
union in promptness and completeness
of its war income tax returns. We
may know of a few instances where
disloyalty crops out and slackerlsm
occasionally comes to the surface, but
in the main good old Nebraska la
there and over.
Norfolk Press; We would like to
know Just what Attorney Veeder for
Swift & Co., meant when he said in
his letter to L. F. Swift, referring to
a Nebraska bill disadvantageous to
the packers .that "it cannot in Mr.
Selby's opinion, pass the senate. If
necessary he will take such action as
will inrure its defeat" Just what ac
tion could a packers' representative
take that "would insure, the defeat"
of, a law in the legislature of Ne
braska. Mr. Selby's confidence in his
ability to kill the bill is interesting
1 and we should like to know Just how
I he Intended doing It
Here and There ! ,
Cows to which the phonograph
was played while they were being
milked are said to have given several
quarts of a milk a day more than
they ever did before. ,
When his church was closed tor
lack of fuel a pastor in Glendive, O.,
mailed copies of his sermon to all
members of his flock so they could
read at home what he had to say.
A silver shell-shaped reliquary
containing a lock of the hair ot Mil
ton, together with a lock ot hair of
Elizabeth Barrett Browning, sold at
auction in London recently for 300.
John Flowers of Washington, I1L,
didn't know his own age, and fear
ing he might be a slacker registered,
and is now in the National army at
Camp Dodge. His wife learned re
cently from county records that he is
40.
A philanthrophic banker at Green
wich, Conn., ave a dinner at his
home to a number of paroled convicts.
One of the number improved the oc
casion by making away with some of
the silver tableware and personal
Jewels ot the host . Both goods and
thief were found in Philadelphia.
. An, eminent naturalist who made
a careful study ot the manner in
which lighthouses cause the death of
birds, has found that in most in
stances the bird is not killed by the
impact of dancing against the light
house window. The cause of death
Is exhaustion from flying round and
round the light
7 JA
Wages of Farm Labor.
Monroe, Neb., March 4. To the
Editor ot The Bee: A short time ago
there appeared in your paper an ar
ticle from Farmer, S. D., stating that
a farmer by the name of Chris Har
gens was paying a man by the name
of Pat Kelly 3104 per month as a
farm laborer and that if he boarded
him it would amount to 3140 or 3180
per month. This looked out of all
reason, so I wrote to Mr. Hargens
and received the following reply:
"Mr. E. R. Dack. Monroe, Neb.
Dear Sir: In regard to your favor of
February 20,1 in reply will say it is
a mistake or newspaper talk. I am
paying only 355 per month and fur
nish, same as you do, cow, house, gar
den spot and wood. Single men 340
per month the year around. Yours
truly, CHRIS HARGENS."
Now we all know that good farm
labor is scarce and that wages are
higher, but articles cuch as appeared
in your paper are written to cauBe
dissatisfaction among the farm labor
ers and are little short of German
propaganda. E. R. DACK.
Slaking of Slates.
Omaha, March 4.-To the Editor
of The Bee: The "outs" are out again.
Their first big meeting, announced
as a patriotic banquet started off
fine. Then somebody threw a brick
Into the machine.
Someone let another candidate into
the meeting and he wouldn't stand at
the hitching post like the rest of the
pie-huncry hopefuls.
Couldn't blame him either when
the attempt was made to railroad
through a "slate-making committee"
appointed by the chairman of this
great spontaneous demonstration. The
promoters were taken off their feet
by the bold candidate's refusal to
slide along peacefully, with the rest
ot the mule-skinners.
Incidentally the disgruntled candi
date said a mouthful when he spoke
against "slate making, whether it be
in the back of the Budweiser saloon
or in a lawyer's office."
One thing he didn't mention was
the promise evidently to be wrung out
of every candidate who will be picked
for this elate. That is, the promise
to make mayor the candidate in
whose tavor the meeting was con
ducted Methinks their was a great
deal of criticism of the present bunch
of commissioners because they had
agreed previous to the election that
Jim Dahlman should again be mayor
if a sufficient number were elected
to make him mayor. Guess it all de
pends on who's wearing the shoe. Per
fectly all right evidently, for the
outs to make such an agreement
But can you imagine what's going
to happen to the "slate" when Dan
Butler, Ed Howell, Harry Zimman
and Bill Ure are asked to make this
promise? Oh, boys! The outs will
surely be on the out then.
Voters, keep your eyes peeled for
the big blow-off. J. F. MURPHY.
LINES TO A LAUGH.
"How Is Hal getting' oh in hi race with
his millionaire rival for tbe band ot the
pretty debutante?" , -
"Well, I saw them together the other
day, and judging from the view I had, Hal
was holding bl own." Baltimore Ameri
can. - ,
First Thespian I wonder if the ghost will
walk this week?
Second Ditto There Is one thing certain;
If the ghost doesn't walk, we will. San
Francisco Chronicle.
Friend Doctor, bow do you manage to
stand the high cost of living? "
Surgeon By cutting out something.
Brooklyn Citizen.
Wife Tou know, Henry, I speak as I
thlpk. . , .
Husband Yes, my love: only oftener.
. Topeka Journal. , . ,
"What does the old song say?'
"What song?"
v "It goes like thts Spring would be but
gloomy weathar If we had nothing else but
spring."
"I think I could stand six months of it,
however, without complaining." Baltimore
American. r
"What did you put in tils sandwich
goldleaf?"
"The color ' deceived you. That's
cheese."
"The thinnest deceived me. That's 1L"
Louisville Courier-Journal.
Te, sir, my wife is a remarkable woman.
Goes to church, saves systematically, and
lives up In every way to her sense of duty."
"I should think that would make yon very
happy."
"In a way It does. I am happy In the
consciousness that I am a philosopher."
Life. .
"John wss a good man," said the dlseen-,
solate widow, "but he was so old-fashioned
to the last." t i
"How so?" asked the sympathetic friend. 1
' "Well, he got killed by a runaway horse.' .
Minneapolis Tribune. !
Jones Did you get that mining stock at ;
bargain? i
Brown Tes; I gave other mining stock
for it Boston Globe.
"Does she really speak French as well
as she pretend, ?"
"AU the testimony I have on the sub
ject is, I heard her the other day tell her
husband to send the snuffer to the gar
ridge for the tttermoblll." Judge.
A TWENTIETH CENTURY PAUL
REVERE.
Listen, my children, and you will hear
Of another rider than Paul Revere;
Of a tiny lad on a strange, strange ateed.
Who rode a race for his country's need.
He heard of his country's call for men:
He heard of their sacrifices, and then--He
heard of the need for money too;
For food and clothes to help them thru.
He wanted to help, tho he could not fight;
He wanted to serve In the cause of right
So he mounted a Thrift Card, reins In hand.
And ,roda and rode throughout the land.
"Money!" he cried, "money for clothes!"
"The boys In tbe trenches" off ha oes;
And 'mid the sound of the clattering boots
The call re-echoed across the roofs
"Gather your nlckles! Gather your dimes
Help the nation! Prepare, these times!
Tne people neara, as me uvr iimbubu v.
They heard his fevered, earnest cry.
And, out of the stockings laid away.
And out of the closets hid from day.
They gathered their savings of many years.
And poured them forth, with hearty cheers.
"Take these!" they cried, "in the cause of
. right
We'll save for the boys who nobly fight 1"
As on ha sped, he heard them eay,
"We'll do our bit save every day."
And when the boy and his valiant steed
Had spread the call of his country's need
He drew the reins of old "Thrift Stamp,"
And petted his nose, all sweaty and damp;
"Our work Is done,'' he said, "old man,
The nation's roused to the "Wr Thrift Plan."
Make Your Own Cough
Syrup and Save Money
Better than tha ready-made kind.
Easily prepared at borne.
),
The finest cough 'syrup thaf money
can buy, costing only about one-fifth as
much as ready-made preparations, can
easily be made up at home. The way it
takes hold and conquers distresainff
coughs, throat and chest , colds will
really make you enthusiastic about it
Any drugsri8t can supply you with.
Wi bunoes of Pinex '(60 cents worth).
Pour this into a pint bottle and fill
the bottle with plain granulated sugar
syrup. Shake thoroughly and it ia
ready for use. The total cost is about
65 cents and gives yon a full pint &
family supply of a most effectual,
pleasant tasting remedy. It keeps per
fectly. It a truly astonishing how quickly it
acta, penetrating through every air
passage of the throat and lungs loosens
and raises the phlegm, soothes and heals
the inflamed or swollen throat mem
branes, and gradually but surely tha
annoying throat tickle and dreaded
cough will disappear entirely. Nothing;
better for bronchitis, spasmodic croup
whooping cough or bronchial asthma.
Pinex is a special and highly concen
trated compound of genuine Norway
pine extract, and is known the world
over for its prompt healing effect on the
throat membranes.
Avoid disappointment by ..sklng your
druggist for ''a ounces of Pinex" with -full
directions and don't accept any
thing else.- A guarantee of absolute sat
isfaction or money promptly refunded,
goes with this preparation, She inex
Co., Ft Wayne, Ini
r
' HOSPFS'
Player Piano
Demonstration Week
NOTE OUR SHOW WINDOWS
Grandma Treadaling the Player Piano
Grandchild doing like play!
It's play to play the Player which we now
offer to the musical public.
Nothing as Easy, nothing as Reliable,
nothing as Cheap or easy to Buy as the
Gulbranson the Healy, and the Hospe
Player Pianos
Come to the store no charge to demon-strate-This
is the week and it's for your
edification : Costs you nothing.
A. HOSPE CO.
1513 Douglas Street
f THE OMAHA BEE INFORMATION BUREAU 71
I ' , J '" Washington, D. C. ri
. Enclosed find a 2-cent stamp for which you will please send me,
, entirely free, "The Poultry Book." , .
Name . . .... .V
Street Address
'I
ICity . .State ...,-... ..xsxnctsam j