6 B THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE: FEBRUARY 17, 1918. The Omaha Bee DAILY (MORNING) EVENING SUNDAY r FOUNDED BY EDWARD ROSEWATER VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR THE BEE PUBLISHING COMPANY. PROPRIETOR. Entered at Omaha postoffics seond-eIs matter. Bt Mll. rtf W. M.0 H 4.M 1.00 t 4.00 too TETtMS OF SUBSCRIPTION B Carrier. Dtll and usla tw " l DtilT without ttuudar l'to Bmlu tad aunUr I" Bnotnt wilboat guBdw " bu M OA tad aotkw of etiuin of sddresi 01 Ursfultfltj la dstinrr to Onaba Bn ClrcuUUoo utwunai MEMBER OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS Jt Ajseelstea' Press, of wnlcb The Res li mmtm. eieluf1?tl tntlUsd to tb hm for publication of ill am duntrbn credited to 11 or sot oUunrtM credited lp Uiti rrr and io lb Inral nfm subltnlwd bmia. ail tfsot of Dublieatiua of our nxclti dlmtrtact ara alo rowrwd. " ! REMITTANCE wilt ttf ArttU mrm or soettl ord-r. Onl 1-omt Umr takes IB atraxot of imU aeeounu. I'oraooal ebecs. siceot on Ootfca and uura axeaanm. not soceued. OFFICES Bn.uk n,.Ull N 8L New York 28 Fifth Ara, I'Muictl Kliifft-M N. Mala Bt Bt. liult New B-k of Conuntre, Llnoola Llttla Balldlns. Wiliintnn liiium. CORRESPONDENCE Addraal cnDmniiletHogt relstlni 10 news tod adltortil nutter to Onsaa B. Editorial Drpartoent JANUARY CIRCULATION 59,964 DailySunday, 52,534 Antral etreolstloo for (be tnontH. nitMcrltMd aod twora to bt D1ht ftlltlUM. Circulation sUntser. Subaertbara leaving tha city ihould ba Tha Bea mailed ta taam. Address changed aa often aa requested. Ho? Island seems to have been well named. cnicMO Peofle Has nulldmt. New ) on if More snow for the wheat belt is all right. Every little bit helps. The near-side stop has now been approved by everybody but the men who can put it into ef fect. "Eventually why not now?" National lawn tennis tournaments will not be suspended because of the war. That announce ment will relieve a lot of suspense. Oil is to be pumped from Kansas to Chicago, but the pipe line from Wyoming to Omaha has not got beyond the condition of a project. Zeppelins that carry their own clouds are now listed among: the horrors of war. They will be used in dropping bombs on sleeping cities. Trotzky as a diplomat is on a par with Trotzky as an economist. He has had his revenge on Russia and capital and perhaps that pleases him. More women and children have fallen before the dauntless U-boat victims of a bombardment at night, of course. No wonder Germany is win ning the war I The big packers are being probed from two sides just now and out of the whole mess ought to come something of benefit to the publicif it is only accurate information. Oklahoma a patriotic farmers again are feeding wheat to hogs. It may be recalled, perhaps, that these same men were given land by the govern ment only a few years ag. They are making ex cellent use of it. France is in line on the shipping question, too, having arranged to take over all vessels flying the tricolor. The transportation question will soon be solved by carrying only essentials tinder gov ernment direction. Houston and Fort Worth have received per emptory orders to clean up or the armies en camped there will be moved. The authorities ought. to have little choice between the soldiers and the disorderly element. Queen Wilhelmina is reported to have closed Holland's breweries and distilleries as a war econ omy measure. The Dutch probably have on hand a sufficient supply of schnapps to last until peace comes, ' but the interesting point is that John Barleycorn has received another awful wallop. i A Time for Deep Thought. L" Almost eleven months have passed since the United States entered the war and we yet lack the, unity of purpose that must exist if we are going to win. We talk of battling for democracy, but sptnd our time principally on other questions. A witness before a senate committee last week made the statement that "ship, cannot be built on patriotism." That is true, perhaps, but a little more patriotic effort might be put into the busi ness of building ships. The young men who are crossing the water in, those ships are moved by patriotism. Down in Oklahoma for the third time farmers are reported to be feeding wheat to hogs, alleging that they cannot sell their wheat for enough to buy corn to feed the hogs. 'If this statement is true something radically wrong ex ists between Nebraska and Oklahoma and should immediately be adjusted. Again we are told stock raisers are sacrificing their animals, in dread of losing money on them. Whichever way we look we descry somebody doing something he should not, because he is afraid of losing money. If money were all that is at stake in this war the caution might be justified, but the stakes are far beyond money.. If the cause of democracy is de feated all the money in this country will be of little use to its owners. This is a time when Americans should think a little clearer ana a little deeper than they seem to be doing. Unit Cost in Manufacturing. The bakers who confessed to the food admin istrator they had but guessed at their manufac turing costs are not alone in their predicament. Very few manufacturers can give accurately the unit cost of producing their wares. This is true for many reasons, chief of which is, of course, in sufficient or inaccurate accounting. For the lat ter factor we may account by ascribing it in some degree to ignorance of bookkeeping processes, but chiefly to an ingrained and almost universal practice of self-deception. Just now the coun try is being disturbed by clamor .from one or an other of the industrial groups, each setting up that its selling price does not cover production cost, and consequently business is being carried on at a loss Other evidence contradicts these statements and the only possible inference is that the complainants are like the bakers, in that they do not know what it costs them to do business. Just as the general application of the income tax law is certain to beget a far more general habit of keeping accurate accounts so the federal regu lation of prices must in time lead to a more pre cise determination of manufacturing costs. Days of business done by rule of thumb are about over in. this country another benefit coming to us through the war. American and French Methods. A skilled machinist canre from the east to a local shop a few years ago and his first work was turning shafting. He had just finished the "rough" cut on a piece and-was preparing to make the fin ishing cut when the boss interrupted him. "Do not do that again," was the order. "Take it all off at one cut and waste no time in finishing." One of the engineer lieutenants now in France writes to the Railway Age that he finds French machin ists in railway shops "polishing the ashpans and inlaying the brakebeams" of the locomotives they build. Allowing for his extravagance of state ment, he finds the meticulous care bestowed by the French mechanic on the job at hand brings results. The French locomotive runs as smoothly as an automobile engine and lasts. From Washington comes an appeal for better grade of mechanics to build airplanes; the "hit-or-miss" methods of the average worker on automo bile machinery being entirely too casual to pro duce the nice effects required for the more exact ing operations of the airplane. Of course, Amer ica has plenty of good machinists, men who are accustomed to the highest grade of work, for whom measurements of .001 of an inch are fa miliar operations and in whom the tenth of that inspires no terror. But the rougher, more hur ried way of doing things is our national fault, an over-eagerness for output without regard- for quality. What effect this slack method of doing things has had on our national life may be esti mated by any who will consider it carefully. In time we may learn to take pains with our work, whatever it may be, finding reward in the added beauty and serviceability of' the finished product. Not all the lessons of the war will be lost on us and chief of these should be that "haste makes waste" and waste is costly even to a wealthy nation like ours. Community Spirit in Dancing. The debate over dancing continues, with most of the participants overlooking whatever of physi ology or psychology may be involved in the ques tion, but giving emphasis to other factors that seem greatly overweighted. Last week The Bee said something about the physiological effect of music as an expression of emotion. That in it self tends to induce the impulse to dance. Psy chology also has something to do with the dance. Here is found one of the outlets for expression of the social instinct, the community spirit of man. We seek amusement to escape from cares or worries or to relieve the tedium of idle hours. No form of amusement yet invented has entirely escaped objection from some critic However in nocuous its form, somebody will find in it fea tures to condemn. Also the simplest or least harmful of any of the intrinsically innqcent games may be turned to evil, if its followers are bent on destruction. Abolition of dancing or any other divertisement will not have the effect of removing sin or sorrow from the world. Until the prin ciple of evil is overthrown its manifestations in man will be a source of disturbance and particu larly to those who have justified their own conduct. Motor Trucks and Country Roads. A correspondent has pointed out the actual service now being done by the motor truck in the way of uniting the farm and the market. Iowa farmers are using their machines to bring their hogs to market and for other similar pur poses in a way that is demonstrating the value of this accessory to profitable agriculture. And in his we find another strong argument to sup port the permanent road proposition. Just now, with the ground packed and frozen hard, the highways are in the best of shape for hauling and the cost is reduced to the minimum. With the breaking up of winter and the establishment of warm weather conditions the expense of bring ing stuff to market in motor trucks or wagons is enormously increased. It is not to be doubted that the use of the self-propelled machine in agri culture is to increase and to make it completely serviceable better roads will have to be con structed. The two go together naturally and in time will bring great benefit to the farmer. Reveries of a Convalescent Meditations Induced by the Novel Experience of a Ten Days' Sick Spell "Go right home as soon as you can," said the doctor. "I'll send up some medicine and stop in to see you a little later." "Naw, you can't come in and play today, Richard. I gotta a sick daddy up stairs," crjed a braggadocio youngster's voice under the window. s "I'm dreadfully Sorry, but I won't be able to keep our engagement. Well, I have a pa tient to look after. My husband has been put to bed by the doctor's orders. Yes, it's the first time since I've known him, the first time in all the years that we've been married. I'm sorry I can't be there but you know how it is." Obviously my wife's conversation over the phone in the next room. There was no' question but that I was sick and that my sickness had produced a sudden change in the conditions and atmos phere about the house. In the loss of con trol of most of my faculties, however, which included complete wreckage of my voice and powers of speech, my keenness of hearing remained unimpaired and I could listen or rather could not help listening to the flow of talk all around me and particularly over that phone. "Yes, it's the first time he's bcen really sick in all the 14 years we've been married," was repeated with numerous variations of emphasis and intonation. I couldn't quite be sure whether this vas intended to impress the exceptional character of the occasion or to announce the arrival of a long-looked-for though much-dreaded event that was sure to come and best to have and be over with so as to take it out of the realm of uncertainty. To have one member of a family strutting around able to boast- of "never having suf fered a sick day in his life" is clearly intoler able and, as pride goeth before a fall, must have a sad ending some time or other. That long deferred but inevitable catastrophe was at last here. "My previous apparent show of superiority in this respect had been shat tered. I was not after all so unlike other women's spouses as I had seemed to be and when in the future the subject of sick-a-bed husbands should come up across the bridge table or around the knitting board or over the teacups, my wife would no longer be handicapped for lack of her own personal ex periences from which to contribute to the fund of comparisons and contrasts. She would not hereafter have to speak in the third person objective and tell about what "they say" or "I understand," but could chime in with the confidence of self-assertion as to "what I did" during the time "when my husband was in bed for 10 days." Or, perhaps, was it something else some thing of a very different character that prompted those cheerful cancellations of all those parties, meetings, and appointments? "Of course I have some one else who could stay with him for a while, but I couldn't think of ctiming. You know he's never been sick before and I think it's my duty to be right with him." Plainly a sense of obliga tion was also involved. The amount of self deprivation is one measure of duty per formed and the satisfaction thus derived may well out-weigh all the enjoyment or other pleasurable activities given up. Instead of some gossip saying, "I saw her at the mati nee while her husband was at home sick," the talk would be, "She devoted every min ute of the day and night to him. She just dropped everything. He certainly ought to realize and appreciate what a jewel of a wife he has. I tell you, mighty few women would have done that." Then, again, could there have been a sug gestive strain in this? "Have I called in a nurse? No. why should I? I'm acting as nurse myself and getting along very well so far. No, he's hardly any trouble at all. Can't speak. Hasn't said two words except to nod 'yes' and 'no.' Of course, if we should need a nurse, I'd get one, but I don't believe it will be necessary." Here were accomplish ments my wife had acquired of which I by being excessively well all the time, had no knowledge. Now I was to learn that the money paid out for nurses heretofore was only an investment about to yield returns and I was to see how practice in looking after-the children during their occasional ail ments made perfect for the higher call to care for the star patient of the household. But let me not overlook "our doctor." I would mention him by name did I not know to do so would be no favor to him, but on the contrary would probably draw down an avalanche of trouble on his head that he would be immediately accused by some envious rival of having instigated my testi monial to his scientific skill and professional attainments that some picayune pillmixcr would get up in the next meeting of the local medical society and move to censure, if not expel him for being false to the Hippocratic oath by fracturing the ethical rule against unethical advertising. "Our doctor," it should be distinctly understood, does not have to exploit his talents by having himself called out of a theater or subpoenaed to give ex pert testimony in a sensational law suit sure to command a conspicuous .place in the newspaper accounts of the trial. No, he is advertised by the funny stories he tells and which his grateful patients always repeat with due credit. "Our doctor" never fails to carry a few new ones with him on his rounds he believes in medicine but not too much of it the most trying ordeal he inflicts on the sick-a-bed sufferer is to jab a ther mometer into his mouth with the admoni tion, "Now hold that quietly under your tongue," and then forthwith t- spring his latest "joke" to see whether it "lakes." An extremely considerate doctor is "our doctor," you should be advised. "1 saved a man's life today," he gravely declared. "How did I do that? Why I had a call at 3 a. m for a man who thought he was dying. I didn't go. And he's still alive, for I saw him this afternoon." Using his flashlight for a little searching expedition, "you know, it's wonderful what useful things these are and we can not re member how we ever got along without them. They didn't have anything like this spitlight in olden days. Yet Noah had an ark-light." "Keep it up externally, internally, in fernally, but we hope not eternally." "Yes, I have to find a new patient every once in a while to make sure of having some one to listen to my stories who hasn't already heard them." Very well, doctor, only be sure to ac cumulate a fresh supply before I get sick again. War Cost and American Resources It is learned from computations made at the treasury that the first 10 months of the war have cost the United States about $7, 000,000,000, which is at the rate of something oyer $700,000,000 a month, or $24,000,000 a day. The cost of the first year is estimated at about $10,000,000,000, which, while it is a stupendous sum, is very much less than the original estimates for the first vear. These estimates ran as high as $18,431,000,000. Of the $7,000,000,000 that has been spent, more than half, or $4,121,000,000, was in the form of loans to the allies, and the remainder represents what the United States has ex pended on the organization of the army, the increases in the navy, the shipping board and other war preparations. Of the total of $10, 000,000,000 which it is estimated will be spent during thp first year, up to April 6, it is ex pected that about half will be in loans and the remainder for war preparations. The treasury statistics show that the United States is meeting war expenses in the proportion of four-fifths from loans and one tifth from taxes. Loan campaigns to date have realized $5,792,000,000, and taxes have brought in $1,250,000,000. It is probable that about the same proportion will be preserved in the future in raising the necessary war revenues. The, comparative ease with which, these huge sums have been raised by the govern ment is a tribute to the resourcefulness of America. Having entered this war in de fense of the great principle of human liberty, the people are willing to make such sacrifices as are necessary to carry it to a successful conclusion. More billions are ready upon call of the government and will be forthcom ing as they, are needed. It is said that the total wealth of the United States is some thing like $300,000,000,000, which is a sum sufficient to pay the cost of the war for 30 years at the rate of expenditures for the first year. The wildest flights of imagination do not contemplate a continuation of the war for 30 years, for the world could not stand the strain that long. The population would be decimated 'and the resources completely exhausted long before the end of that peril. But it may be said that the total wealth of the United States is committed to the enter prise, and as much of it as is needed will be placed at the disposal of the government. Washington Post. " People and Events Members of the leper colony of Molokai, poor as' they are, contributed $250 to the American Red Cross fund. They know what suffering means. New York's big feederies complain that it costs as much to serve a portion of a meat order as the full slice. Consumers have ako noted the phenomena at the cashier's desk. A dining car waiter, testifying before the Railroad Wage commission, tearfully admit ted that tips had fallen away almost to the copper level. Woe, and then some. This will simplify Manager McAdoo's task of mak ing every day a tipless day. The humble cranberry takes on a front as copious as the goober. Back in cranberry habitats the front calls for 50 cents a quart or $16 a bushel. A call for a slab of cran berry pie henceforth tags the caller as a millionaire or an army contractor. The Bowery district of New York suc cessfully resists a change of name. That alone survives the ravages and innovations of time and business. All the denizens and things that made its dubious fame have dis appeared from the scenery as completely as the one-horse hack. New building prospects in New York City reflect the McAdoo slogan, "No business but government business." Plans filed with the citv bureau of buildings call for an outlay of $1,481,700, compared with $4,464,500 in January of last year. High cost of material and labor are responsible for the slump. A flock of German bronze eagles perched on the newel posts of the staifs of Utah's capitol have been removed and sent to the npelting pot. The birds, under present day light, too colsely resembled vultures and had to go. Governor Bamberger decided that none but American eagles should be on guard. Abdul Hamid, bounced Sultan of Turkey, falls out of the ranks of rulers out of a job. In the heyday of his power Abdul was the champion camofleur of his time. His output of hot air promises topped the record from Caligula's time down to the kaiser. The way he tore up ultimatums and made them scraps of paper became a mode for Potsdam. Still all his power and divine pretenses could not save him from the nemesis of his crimes. Long ago Gladstone christened him "Abdul the Damned." Possibly repentance in exile softened the judgment. One Year Ago Today in the War. " British reported capture of 2,000 Turks on the Tlgrli. United States put censorship on des. tlnattons and manifests of all vessels leaving American ports. The Day We Celebrate. - Fred S. Hadra, real estate broker, born 1866. David F. Houston, secretary of turlculture, born at Monroe, N. C. 2 years ago. Dr. A. 8. MacKenzle, president of Lenox college, Hopklnton, la., born in Scotland, 43 years ago. William Faversham, born In Lon don. 60 years ago. - Anita Stewart, motion picture star, born in Brooklyn. 21 years ago. This Day In History. 121 -Miles 8tandlsh was made captain of the Plymouth colony with military authority. 1T40 General John Sullivan, one of the best and bravest of the Amer ican generals in the revolution, born at Berwick, Me. Died at Durham, N. H.. January 23. 1795. 1S4S Force of 2,800 British under Sir , Charles Napier defeated Z2,ooo Beluchees In great battle in British India. -. J 865 The federal army under. Gen erman Sherman took possession of Columbia. S. C. ltlfi Germans began submarine "blockade" by sinking British collier Without warning . Just SO Years Ago Today John I. Rcdlck, with his wife, has returned to Omaha for a short visit. George M. Small and W. E. Nason of the Lefevre Gun club and Clark Ellis and "Spike" Kennedy will shoot a blue rock match, 26 birds each, on the Omaha Gun club grounds today. J. M. Woodburn. Jr., is the new deputy to County Clerk Roche while ""Mr. Zlmmer is busy with the assess ment books. W. G. McLaughlin, the inventor of a number of patents which it is ex pected will be soon put to practical tests, haa returned from Washington. John Toner, one of the old settlers, celebrated his 75th birthday. Cause and Effect. 'The man picked up unconscious in the street the other day was suf fering from knockout drops." "Given him in the public street?" "Yes: two bricks fell on his head from a building." Sign Posts of Progress Development of water-power In Norway has made electricity cheaper than steam in that country. France is the best foreign patron of the United States patent office, with Great Britain following closely. Over 300,000 loads of sawdust and other mill waste were used during last year In the United States for making paper pulp. A new automobile attachment makes a permanent record of the speed of the car during the entire trip for the purpose of preventing speed disputes with authorities. The Department of Communica tions is using the screen in moving picture shows to inculcate among the Japanese people many methods of ' saving money. Results are highly encouraging. Two Masonic lodges In Troy, N. Y., recently voted unanimously to accept j an invitation of the Holy Name so-; clety of St. Augustine's Roman Catho- j lie church, to attend a service in ! honor of the members of the church ' who have enlisted. Study of advertising is attracting 1 more women than ever before at the University of Wisconsin. Thirteen women, most of them students in journalism, are now enrolled In the advertising class, studying ad writ- j Ing and soliciting advertisements!: along with 30 men, i Sidelights on the War Germany has found -old hops a good war substitute for tobacco. Chauneey M. Depcw says that "America as the world's 'melting pot' Is a failure." Since the war began Italy has pur chased $1,000,000,000 worth of mili tary goods from the United States. Soldiers' wives in England receive from the government $3.84 a week, $1.73 or the first child, $1.48 for the second. $1.08 for the I'.iird and 72 cents for all other children. Privates in the British army receive 36 cents a day. D. L. Odell of Marshall, Mo., put all his money in Liberty bonds and enlisted in the army. He is the great-grandson of Pat Jerry Odell. who gave the 65 acres of ground on which the city of. Marshal, now stands. A student officer at Fort Sheridan, 111., inherited a $30,000 business from an uncle, with the proviso that he should continue the business. The young man was undecided as to what he should do until word came that American troops were in the trenches in France. Then he turned down the legacy. In these days of war bread, when not only the quality, but quantity is strictly watched, bread by the yard Is an alluring idea. But one has to go to France and Italy to find the real thin The pipe bread of Italy is often iwie in loaves three feet long, whilst the rolls of France are as long as a Briti grenadier. Peppery Points Washington Post: Let the man who preaches tenderness to internal en emies cultivate his garden without harming the Jimson weeds. Minneapolis Journal: Men over six feet and three inches tall are no longer barred from the army. They will be used to pick the German snip ers out of the trees. s Brooklyn Eagle: One member of the Hitchcock family brings, down j two German airplanes while another HitcncocK goes up in me air oui mns to bring down the president. Brooklyn Eagle T China notifies the bolshevik! that Harbin belongs to her, always has belonged to her, and she will not apologize for being there. The paw of the Bear is no longer feared in the far east Minneapolis Tribune: Germany has promised RoUmania a slice of Russia, Leave it to the kaiser to promise something he cannot hope to keep for something that he has no prospect of getting. Brooklyn Eagle: Vain are the uses of adversity if we can't keep three shifts of men at work eight hours apiece of every 24 at everp Shipbuild ing plant. ' Common sense and vulgar mathematics deserve a lot of official attention. New York Herald: If a profiteer ing hog on Hog island or anywhere else in this country is making 100 per cent profit or anything like it at the expense of the government and the American people he should be re minded at once that this is good weather for hog' killing. Around the Cities A 1,600-pound bell to strike the hours has been installed In the tower of New York's city hall. Plans are taking shape for a moral clean-up in St. Joseph. The Saints 'fess up to a few distinct smears on their halos which call for vigorous scrubbing. Chicago's roundup of nearly 1,000 crooks and hoboes of various grades in 24 hours caused a 75 per cent slfimp in the industry of robbers and gunmerv. It was a profitable day's work for the police and the city. One of Sioux City's elevators re ports flattering success of a me chanical dryer in extracting excess moisture from corn. Tests showed reduction of moisture from 22 per cent to 15.8 per cent. About 1,000 bushels an hour can be given the hot air treatment. The mayor of Emporia, Kan., boosts for patriotic gardens and other mu nicipal uplifts. Gardening is to be made a blooming success this year. To make sure of it the mayor declares a war of extermination on dogs, and has called on Governor Capper to join him in a deadly drive. Boston is up against the annual job of fitting municipal income to outgo. The new -mayor figures out revenue of $14,803,216, which is $4, 000.000 short of estimates. New sources of revenue are hard to find and a general tax lift is inadvisable. To make ends meet the Hub must go deeper in debt and give posterity the privilege of digging up later on. Odd Bits of Life One of the easiest ways to cool an overheated oven is to stand a basin of cold water in it. David R. Burkey, a civil war vet eran, age 80, of Philadelphia, takes a 20-mlle hike for his daily exercise. Three high schools in the heart of Wyoming, Ta., anthracite fields were closed recently because of a shortage of coal. Mrs. Pearl Leach of Penobscot, Me., has given birth to her 16th child, and all are living. There are eight girls and eight boys. James Brown, who has an artificial arm and leg, is employed picking oranges in an orchard near Lindsay, Cal. He is considered the most rapid and efficient picker on the force and averages around 100 boxes of fruit daily. A normal man who can pick 80 boxes is considered an expert. Pete, an army mule at a camp near Portland, Me., was left on an island in Casco Bay. The soldiers built a shed for him and left food and water, but Pete got. homesick. He kicked off the top of the shed, gnawed hte halter until he was free, plunged into the sea and swam back to the camp. TO MY MOTHER. Oh. Fame! Where In do thou compare What" consolation Is la thee? To know that now the hour of prayer, My mother will not be with me. Like sunshine to the flowers I miss Her gentle voice and word of cheer, Her pious looks and tender kiss. Tonight I feel that she is near. This sacred hour she loved no well And loved to read this Holy Boole, With tear stains that a heartache tell. When I her loving care forsook. The little vineclad home of ours. That nestled 'mong the locust trees, And all about sweet scented flowers Wado fragrant then the summer breeze. Each day she rose to bless the day To gazo upon the gloroua scene, And through the waking blossoms stray When all were fresh and leaves were green. These memories of our happy past Have been a star of hope to me. That guided straight to her at last, To live through all eternity. Omaha DONALD F. M'LEAN. DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES. "Papa, a young man is coming to you to nipht to ask for my hand in marriage." Quite so, my dear. One question." Well?" "Am I for or against him?" Loultvlll Courier-Journal. Bob When you proposed to her I Buppost she said, "Oh, this Is so sudden:" Charlie No: Phe was quite honest. Sh remarked, "the suspense has been terrlbl." Spokano Spokesman-P.eview. "I believe this is the warmest day we vr had." No: We had half a day warmer than this." ... "How about the rest-of the day? "There wasn't any; it burnt up." Car toons Magazine. Little Bessie, who went In to entertain th minister while he was waiting for her mother, was shy at first, so he began: "Do you remember me, my dear?" "I fink I do." answered the child; "you're the man mother makes me stay awake and listen to in church." Boston Transcript. to get Mrs. Hlghe Are you going divorce this eyar? Mrs. Lowe No. one must economize In war time. Judge. "I'm going to toll you something In con fidence." said the diplomat. "All right," replied the cynic. "To what particular person of my acquaintance do you want me to mention the matter by ac cident?" Washington Star. 'Miss Oldglrl says she doesn't pretend to be brilliant nor witty nor wise. She Is just a plain woman." "Plain! Great Scott, but she Is good to herself!" Baltimore American. "What is this, waiter?" "War bread, sir." "Hang It! It's too old entirely for activ service." Life. COLLEGE STUDENT RESCUES YOUTH Prematurely Gray, He DUcovers Never-Tell. Gradually Dark ens Gray Hair. This new scientific preparation for darkening gray hair was first dis covered by a young college student, who had himself experienced the dis agreeable features of old-time dyes. He realized that gray hair was the one big social and business handicap, and proceeded to remove the obstacle in a manner that would appeal to modest, refined people everywhere. Never-Tell is complete within itself. Put up in delicately-perfumed tablet form there is nothing to add, no extras to buy, no concoctions to bother, for you merely dissolve the tablets in a little water as used. Com plete treatise on how to care for the hair, also early history of Never-Tel, in every box. At your druggist, 50c, or direct from Never-Tel Laboratories Co., 204, Kansas City, Mo. The perfection of our funeral arrange ments makes possible the unostentatious beauty that characterizes tbe burials con ducted by us. We are equipped with the latest offerings of an undertaking science. Onr knowledge of this business is a pro found one. We render able service at reasonable prices. N.P.SWANSON Funeral Parlor, (Established 188S) 17th and Cuming Sts. Tel. Douglas 1060. "the tune that . caught the boyS iii camp" AHOSPE PIANO in the honio adds enjoyment to the hours when the boy is 'back with "the folks." And in his absence its music brings comfort and cheer as nothing else can. Put music in the home NOW when the need is great. and your first payment may be as little as fifteen dollars. You may then pay the remainder at ten dollars a mouth. $300 A. HOSPE CO. 1513 Douglas Street. Some New Pianos as Low as $190 NOTICE! TO DEPENDENTS OF MEN ENLISTED IN ARMY OR NAVY If the dependents of any man enlisted in the Army or Navy have failed to receive their allotment or allowance from the government, I will be pleased to have them call at my office, 810 Woodmen of the World Building, or telephone Douglas 4570 and give me full particu lars, I will gladly assist them in getting that which they are entitled to from the government, and which the government is anxious to pay them. W. A. FRASER President Woodmen of the World and Member of the Advisory Board, Bureau of War Risk Insurance. P. S. This notice appears through the courtesy of the WOOD MEN OF THE WORLD. r THE OMAHA BEE INFORMATION BUREAU Washington, D. C. 1 Enclosed find a 2-cent stamp, for which you will please send me. I J entirely free, "German War Practices." I i Name L Street Address. City State.