( The Omaha Sunday Bee
OMAHA, SUNDAY MORNING, . JANUARY 6, 1918.
Com6 Honey
i , ' i - rr
TheVeekijv
Bumble Bee
THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE: JANUARY 6, 1918.
i
TBX WEEKLY BUMBLE BEE.
v i A 8TIK0ER, EDITOR.
Communication en any topic
nnlnl, without poatag r
signature. Nob., returned. .
NO ADS AT ANT PRICE.
ENCORE..
'. E-iiter th Bumble Bee: Waa
unable to writ you last week
but am pleeed to take my pen
In hand again thia week to glv
you reader a review of Ira
portent event.
Am pieced to e they have
bought a. plac to build a new
city jail. The old one It a die-
rat to any city hd a new one
mi urgently needed. Let . the
good work ito on.'- ' i ''
These Boahevikl-ln Russia got
Just what waa coming to them.
They ought to have known that
the Qermana wouldn't do what
they ald. But no, they knew
better and went on to their
doom. The German chancelor
tld the neutrality of Belgium
wa only "a ecrep of paper" and
that' the way tbey try to treat
everything that the natl-ms
ere on. Will aay. that I aaw
this coming long ago, having
made a careful study of th
situation, mora o than moat
people who Juat read over thlnga
and don't atop to think them
out.
Th Boy 8couta repairing
hoe ll a good Idea. I hav a
repairing outfit at bom and my
" oldest eon repair all th family
boe o we only buy about one
pair a year. The children ana
wife go barefooted all cummer
Tour truly, vox fopumjm.
( A largo part of Vox Fi'PU
lum'a letter in which he gave
hU lw on thf coat of bread
and sugar, the Japan eltua-
tlon. th ordnance question, the
auppli at cantonments and
various other momenloue nuta
tion wa omitted becauae of
lack of space. Lettere must b
abort. Ed.) ,
x,eo.
Some ef the "tone" of coal
wa are getting nowaday look
mtarhty aklnny. Every time tha
tuel admlnlitrator puibe th
prle down a peg th ala of th
''ton em to go down, too.
But what can tha houeeholder
dT He ban't scales In hi coal
bin. He can only truat tb coal
man. And th coal man won't
troal" blra lther.
SOUR.
Ton Halt, atat railway eom
mlaaioner, ay "th govern
mnt ton't really In control
tha rallroade." Juat let Mr. Hall
lr.au At order In oppoaltton to
th government and be may fled
out. y ;
',' : ' ", TWICE.
Tb general attorney of tha
Union Paelflo railroad haa
about tha luckieat name In Oma
ha. HI nam I Sdaon Prosper
Bleb,
HE BUMBLE BEtfS
SPECIAL STATISTICS
FOR THE YEAR 1917
Tbl Publication (live Intereat-
Ing Dal Which Wa
Missed by Other
Xewspaper.
Many Omaha atatlatlc were
mined by. th other papera In
their New Year number. Th
Humble It will aupply aome:
A. I. Utt of th Bureau of
Useleee Remark eatlmate that
th following uaeleaa remark
were mad during 117 to th
number Indicated: 'Hot enough
for you?" 1,m,7S6; "Look Ilk
rain." 4.2Q.4ir "When will
tha war end?' IM8M21; "Move
up In th front o- th car." TO.-
S,tSJ; T'n you let m hav
H till Monday T" Sl.0.743:
'Her' that 6 I owe you,"
.(U,07: "What a splendid city
council wa have!H' 11.
JU augar aaved In Omaha
luce th food-avlng plan went
tnto effect would be aufflclont.
If made Into syrup, to put on
-coal over th City National
bank building and th north aid
of th city Jail. ;
John C. Wharton ahook hand
a-ltu 14, fit people, an average
of almost 100 per day.
Th saloon business for tne
ft St elgbt months of 117 wa
lea than half a great aa It wa
during th first four months.
The rutabagoea consumed In
Omaha, during the year. It
placed aid by aide, would make
line reacning rrom , BKiamor
to Beaver Crossing.
Th postofflc corridor wa
th cn of :6t,0S meeting
between couple.
Th number of bath taken
decreased by approximately
100.000, . (Ther waa one- lea
Saturday In 1911 than in 19U.)
' ROOSTER.
Th courageous heart of
Chanticleer will not quail before
th edict which haa gone forth
that moat of him must die May
H will crow aa uaual the
morning of hla doom and, no
doubt, will give a death.defylng
'toon - a - doodle noo ' , witntn
sight f th gulllottn. A bird
worth Imitating. ,
. scsriciocs.
Harry Cockrall urged severs 1
newspaper men to com over to
tb Hoya tnealer at wees and
see "Nothing But th Truth.'
Now wnat oia n mean oy urg
Ing newapaper man to come to
te a bow with that title?
"EATS" AND "SMOKES"
GALORE, BUT DAD CANT
EAT AND WONT SMOKE
Ak-Sar-Rn Magnat Receive
Cilft He CaBt l'. Kdllor
Huggeat Splendid
Remedy
Pad Wraver la In our midst
again, having recovered from
hla Injuries In an auto acci
dent several weeks iigo.
Pad had soma harrowing ex
periences aftor the accident.
While he wa recovering the
doctor prescribed a diet which
would have delighted Messrs.
Wattlea and Hoover. Thatla, It
would hav delighted them to
see anybody but themselvea eat
ing It, The menu prescribed by
tb learned physician consisted
of llrakfaat, oatmeal mush;
dinner, oatmeal muab; aupper,
oatmeal mush. It waa substantial
but not Inspiring.
Th wont s of it wa that
Dad' many frlenda all brought
all aorta of dalntlo.Vlld geese
and ducka and prairie tihlvkena
cam to hla houaa every day
with th compliment of friend
who hoped he would enjoy this
little remembrance and think of
them while eating It , .
Poor Dad could smell the
aroma ef tha bird aa tney
wer cooked and aerved to th
rest of th family. And than
hi meal wa brought In -oatmeal
mush. Dad could appre
elate tha feeling ef th fabled
Blayphu who was Immersed up
to hi Up In cold, clear water
but every tlm he tried to drink
It turned to duet.
And now Dad I well. Friend
don't end him dalnttss. But hla
tortur continue. At Chrlitma
he received more than a dosen
boxea of clgara with th com
pliment of friend. Everybody
that knew Dad before hi acci
dent knew that he was a great
smoker He alway had a cigar
In hla mouth.
But since th accident he haa
loat all deslr for smoking. He
hates It. He can't bear to hav
a cigar In hla mouth. Th smell
of tobacco amok nearly make
him sick.
Dad doesn't know what to do
with th cjgare. It might be
remarked In conclusion that the
editor of The Bumble Be
smoke.
pRoni.r'f . -
fvlat Fish Commissioner
O'Brien report that he Mined
Lake Qulnnebaugb on Decem
ber It. Wondir hew he thawed
tb ice?
' ":-
The anclant Creek phllofopher
must turn In hi grav some
lime wtia he her as pek
of "our Solon at Washington."
Do yon tl1t wrt It
sometimes? So do w
'liir
AMUSEMENTS.
Bill Sunday open an engage
ment In Waahlngton, D. C, to
day. With an Increase of (O.OOt
In Washington' population
mc th war atarted, tb reg
ular theater and movie prob
ably are overcrowded.
EXCUSE.
The Oermana aay ther with
drew from Jerusalem ao that the
sacred placea would not b bom
barded. But why did they with
draw from Bagdad and all the
other eitleat
IN OUR TOWN.
Ar your New Tear' reso
lution still Intact?
' Every day now bring us on
djty nearer t coal-less day
David Colo played billiard
every day laat week at tb
Commercial club.
Kugen Ysaye, a fiddle player,
gave an entertainment In the
Auditorium Friday night, i
'"."What' ' th reason they
nam ao many e' these movln
pitcher heroea 'Basil?'" Inquire
Jonaa Meaty, t
Ed Slater waa aucceeded by
Harry Christie a, president of
the ileal Estate board. You did
very' good, Eddie. i
Deputy United State Mar
shal Carroll was up from Lin-'
coin. He atanda. t .Jeet, .... 4.
inches n hla Holeproof.
G rover C. Alexander. I winter-.
i.g to -out midst. He 1 a well-
known pitcher on one of the big
lragu.leama.. . .
TV. A. Frsser ha gone to
Washington, V. C, to Instruct
the government how to run th
Insurance buslnes for our sol
dier boy.
Judge Mcllughwaa Injured
Wednesday night when a coat
wagon , team ran Into his auto.
Wa hop the judg will soon
be out again.
Mayer Pahlman wa praised
by resolutions Introduced In po-,
He court . by Judg Julius
Cooley and passed uncnlmouily
by lawyer and bystander. -
V JERRY.
Jerry Howard, atateaman find
night watchman at th water
Nkorks, want a rata In salary.
L.iad of going to hla "bose"
and asking tor It, he wrote a
letter to President Coad of th
water board, accompanying it
by graphic drawlnga, llluatrar
Ing th relation ot salary and
axpenaea now and three yeara
ago. Jerry' procedure In get
ting a raise la Ilk that ot W.
J. Bryan and Jack Johnson
who "offered their services 4o
th president aa prtvatea In th
army" Instead ot going to th
nearest recruiting atation and
enlisting.
CARS.
Frank Odell wa out In th
slate laat weak leaning the
farmer aome ef Unci Sam's
money, flnce Frank haa been
connected with the Isnd bank
he get to t l en th train
quit a bit, and ta . becoming
inucb titers familiar wltb tb
cara than he waa two yeara
ago when he broke hi nose In
an M. A O. wreck.
now OM
G
AHA
, MEMORIES.
Well, -wi eeuld hardly expect
to hav a war without a food
and aupply scandal. Do you re
member Russel A Alger and
th "embalmed beef of ISM 7
PRUNES.
Tb city council. It I stated,
"will apply tb pruning knlfa
to city salaries." But those ef
th councilman themselvea will
remain unpruned ,
Bjr A. EDWIN LONG.
If the barrels of apple butter the
Pennsylvania farmers used to make
had been 10 inches higher Harry M.
Christie would not be president of
the Omaha Real Estate board today.
At first thought apple butter and
presidencies of real estate boards
don't seem ttThave a close relation
ship. V
n But on the farm where Christie was
born near Greensburg, Pa., there were
many apples. The family made cider,
vinegar and apple butter by barrels
and barrels. Then Uy chucked the
barrels in a convenient shed and cov
ered the apple butter lightly with a
wooden cover that could be removed
easily.
In this same shed on the Clitistie
farm young Harry had his skates, his
ball, his bat, his wooden guns and a
lot of other things stuck r6und the
fafters. When he was walking over
the tops of the barrels one day to dig
a pair of skates out of the rafters, the
light barrel head gave way and the
chunk of a kid splashed into the ap
ple butter up to his eyes. He wal
lowed around, gurgled and blubbered,
leaped desperately up and down for
air, and thus caused several high tides
of annle butter that flowed freelv over
the sides of the barrel. This relieved
matters, and the boy was able to draw
breath and to get self-control enough
to pull himse-1 out o tne predica
ment. " "V r "f .
Just at that time he had no aspira
tion for the presidency of the Omaha
Real Estate board. . He was concerned
with drumming up a case for a certain
defendant who must shortly appear
before a court where ma and pa were
joint judges, and with circumstantial
evidence still sticking about his ears
and dripping from his clothing.
The Christie farm was one of those
farms upon which there is no rest
day. It had peculiar facilities for
supplying work. For one-half the
farm was agricultural land full of
stones that had to be picked up and
hauled off when the cultivating and
harvesting was done, and the other
half was "infested" with coal mines,
so that on rainy days, when some
bovs went to sleep in the hay loft,
Harry could go down into the coau
mine wnere me rain aia noi sirmc
him and there he had the great privil
ege of shoveling, coal all day.
When he was. 17 years old the
family moved to Iowa, and there con
tinued to farm. There was no coal
mine on this Iowa farm, and there
were no stones to pick, so Harry went
to school and was eventually grad
uated from the high school at Stew
art, la. . ' ' '
A sister lived in Omaha, and
I Harry boarded a train for Omah$
JUSl 10 OCX 1119 SISICI, auu 3K niiai a
young man could do in this Nebraska
city.
"I had no particular line of work
in view when I came here," said
Christie. "Real estate? No, I should
say not. I had no more thought of
going into real estate than of man
aging the Union-Pacific, or doing a
clown act for Ringling Brothers. I
just drifted here because my sister
was here."
But young Christie had potential
common sense at least, and this began
to work as soon as he viewed the op
portunities of Omaha. He jumped
into the real estate business in the of
fice of Ed Johnston. In four years he
started a real estate business in part
nership "with his brother, S. D. Chris
tie. Three years later he dispoH of
this business and became manager of
the reaV estate" department of W.
Fartiam Smith & Co. In this position
he has developed a whole flock of new
additions to Omaha and South
Omaha, a total of 205 acres. He has
organized seven or eight corpora
tions to handle the properties con
trolled by W. Farnam Smith and
himself, and is still going with an even
keel and all jails spread.
A few days ago the Omaha Real
Estate board made his election as
president unanimous, after other good
men pulled out of the race to give
Harry a calm sea. -
er In - This Series) Bow Omaha 49t
Ma Rosenthal.
By EDWARD BLACK.
The Home Life of the Leffingwells,
The sun had gone down" behind th
western hiUs and the curtain of nigrif
had been drawn over the Leffingwet
training station. The evening su
tenance had been given approbativt
attention by the family group, and
Mrs. Leffingwell had carefully re
moved from the dishes, by the usual
process, particles of food that had
not been eaten. A new calendar on
a wall was .a mute reminder that it
was 1918, A. D., and that the time was
propitious for inaugurating new do
mestic amenities and starting out on
an even keel. Henry Leffingwell,
pastor of the flock, was reading the
Congressional Record to revive hi
drooping spirits. His wife was darn
ing some socks which had broken out
under the strain of the day's work.
Willie was trying to figure out how
many eggs he would have in seven
days if he had a hen and a half that
laid an egg and a half in a day and a
half. Mary, the olive-branch bearer of
the wigwam, was jxading the movie
announcements. The scene was as
calm as Aunt Dinah's quilting party,
Mrs. Lefnngwill, or Mary, or Willie,
glanced surreptitiously now and then
toward each other, and then toward
the leader of their little band, as if
hoping that Henry Leffingwell 'would
not break out in one of his week-end
rapprochements. But Henry had been
eating meat again. Mrs. Leffingwell
intuitively sensed the oncoming dis
turbance which was being generated
in the mind of her chieftain. Lel
fingwell moved with majestic deliber
ation and then began to articulate the
thoughts that had been scampering
through his mental recesses like the '
film of a motion picture across the
lens of a projecting machine. Aside
from that, Leffingwell was feeling
quite well.
"I might as well tell you what is
on my mind," began the keystone of
the Leffingwell arch. "I was just
thinking of the fallacy of the old
saying, that there is nothing new
under the sun. That is false doctrine
which leads to pessimism and pale
cheeks. If one admits that he is
ready to appear before his friends be
neath the glass of a showcase with
six handles and somber trimmings,
then it may be proper to say there
is nothing new under the sun. But I
am not one of those and I don't
want any of the Leffingwells to be
such doleful doctrinaires. Each day
is a new day, filled with great pos
sibilities and. new interest. There is
newness in the flowers that come with
the returning springtime and 'there is
newness in every snowflake that flut
ters from its cloud-honie.to the bleak
earth below."
"I saw a new moon last nightj.dad."
chirped Willie, thinking it was hl
cue to say something that would
pierce; the gloom, but the ineptness
of his remark did not change" the stern
countenance Of his dad. .
-"The trouble with 'most of 'tis; is
that we cling to the old and do not
see Ihe new things which are offered
so abundantly for us on every hand-."
continued the high priest of bc
temple. "We are like the man who
chopped wood so long with an old
axe that when he was given a new one.
he was . unable to adapt himself to
the latter. There , is something new
going on all of the time in this ok!
world. The laughter of the child and
the. song 6f the bird are new, if we
Only know it. Nothing grows old ex
ceoTas we think it is old." ,
'Say, dad, didn't you say. one dav
that no Shoe fits like the old shoe
and that there are no friends like the
edd friends?" interrogated the juvenile
interference of the house.
"There are exceptions to all rules."
was the mollifying assertion of Mary.
Mrs. Leffingwell had a few pieces
of mental bric-a-brac which she wished
to present to her sapient sponge. She
gave a look of warning before making
the awards. Leffingwell knew from
long experience that he might jit
as well stick to his post when his wife
came in with her rebuttal. Mary
thought it was as much fun as a Key
stone'eomedy to witness her ma am!
pa hit the high places in their fireside
debates. She even 'thought she would
write a scenario for the movies. .
"Wish I had a motion picture
camera. I would take some dandy
close-ups of dad in his favorite
pose," remarked Willie:
"Henry Leffingwell," began the
mistress of the mission, and Henry's
face became as vapid -as if he had
been gassed. "All the, newness you
can see, one could put in an eye," she
continued.. ."I, just knew that when
you took that second dish of corn
beef , and cabbage, that you ' would
grow irritable. There is more "hythm
than reason in your remarks. You
haven t had a new thought since the
day you discovered that molasses will
catch more flies than vinegar, will.
You haven't even observed that I have
been using the same old broom since
Mary was born. You don't know that
a new broom sweeps clean. ' Of
course it would be hard to see any
thing new around this house, unless
it is your easy chair. I suppose that
you would argue that there is a new
interest in washing the same dishes
three times every day and getting up
athe same hour every morning. Why,
Henry, if you would even set the
alarm clock for a different time, we
would have something new to start
the year with."
Mary rushed into the scene in time
to arrange an armistice by propos
ing "I Can Not Sing the Old Songs,"
which Willie played on his new mouth
organ. Thus the Leffingwell home
once more was made safe for democ
racy. Turn Out the Lights.
The new electric light order issued
by "ohn L. Kennedy, federal fuel ad
ministrator for Nebraska, provide;
that householders should burn as few
lights as possible on Thursday and
Sunday nights. This will prove pop
ular with the beaux and belles of the
community. How nice it will be for
two young earth-beings to sit in the
family parlor on Thursday or Sunday
night and sing, "In the Gloaming,
or "Brighten, the Corner Where Yon
Are. This reminds us of the old
jokes about dad complaining because
the lights are burning in the parlor
until an unseemly hour. -
Heard En Passant.
"I'm so mad because I left my
psychology up at school."
"Gee, that coffee, smells fine."
"That's worse ' than shooting
craps."
"Where can I get a drink in thJi
town?"
, "You're quite a stranger."
'"Does this car go to th iepotJft
r
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