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THE BEE: OMAHA, SATURDAY, JANUARY 5, 1918.
The Omaha Bee
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DECEMBER CIRCULATION
59,541 Daily Sunday. 51,987
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Well, the railroads are up to congress now,
hut they have been there before, many a time.
The meanest profiteer in the whole miserable
lot is the fellow who swells his gains at the ex
pense of the soldier.
Governor Boyle of Nevada announces that lie
will name the successor to the late Senator New.
lands. This is a guaranty that the new senator
will at least not be a pacifist.
Nebraska youngsters made a productive record
last year that ought to make their parents feel
proud, and also the will to bestir themselves to
keep the kiddies from taking the lead.
Colonel "Bill" Hayward is no longer on the
pay roll of the state of New York, but Governor
Whitman assures him the old job is waiting for
him whenever his assignment in France 'is
finished.
. Railroad men called in from services discon
tinued by the government will be utilized in real
operation of the roads, which may help to relieve
the blockade more than mere government management
Wall street does not worry over government
control of railroads, for the ticker shows the
stocks of these lines steadily mounting in price.
If nobody else has gained anything the holders
of shares have cause for joy.
Our amiable hyphenated contemporary ex
plains its inconsistencies by saying "circum
stances alter cases." To be sure, the senator is
not now running for re-election, so that paper
can put the soft pedal on its pro-German propensities.
Senator "Jimmy" Reed is going to make the
most of his opportunity, no matter how his per
sonal spite against Herbert Hoover may affect
the country. This is characteristic of a consid
erable body of democrats both in and out of
congress.
Centralixation of power at Washington stages
an impressive spectacle. In happy bygone days
few were bold enough to challenge the per
petuity of state railroad commissions. Attacks
brought forth a host of valiant defenders and fed
eral poachers hesitated at every step. Things
are different nowadays. Instead, of defenders
rising in every state, nary a rallying cry is heard
and members are driven to the painful duty of
pleading in person for a life saver. Are common
wealths ungrateful?
Justice to Underpaid Clerks'.
Government control of the railroads is likely
to produce one good result immediately, and that
is to bring about an increase in pay to the under
paid men and women who do the enormous
clerical work of the great corporations.' This
numerous class of employes has been heard from
but little, because of the fact that they are un
organized and without any central body to ex
press their wishes. All other bodies of labor in
railroad employment have some form of organi
zation through which to make protests effective.
The clerks have suffered materially because of
their condition, and in only a few instances Have
they shared in the wage increases. On some
lines a general advance to clerks has not been
given for a dozen years or longer. One of the
dispatches from Washington bore the news that
while the 40 per cent increase asked by the en
ginemen might be laid aside for the time, if not
for the period of the war, it was the intention to
give the clerks a general lift in wages. All who
are in any way familiar with conditions will en
dorse this as a matter of simple justice to a de
serving lot of faithful workers. The sooner Mr.
McAdoo puts such an order into effect the bet
ter his policy will be liked.
New Regime for the Railroads.
1 esident Wilson's address to congress on the
railror ds, together with the bill introduced pro
vidi: i a law for the government's operation of
all t it systems as a unit, outline a program that
will viv likely have approval of the railroad
owners. It is proposed to guarantee an income
equivalent to the average of the last three years,
to maintain the lines in every particular, and to
safeguard all private interests in every way. On
the other hand, the federal government assumes
all responsibility for the management of the
properties. ; One o the greatest difficulties the
corporations encountered, particularly within the
last two years, was the securing of capital needed
for extensions and betterments. This is sur
mounted very easily, through the expedient of an
appropriation of half a billion dollars, to be used
as a "revolving fund," out of which needed ex
penditures will be made. The provision that ex
cess earnings become the property of the United
States will likely serve to fully reimburse the
government for whatever outlay it is called upon
to make on this score.
Many interesting details of management and
administration are to be provided for by the new
law, the purpose apparently being to give the
transportation director all authority needed, while
leaving the question of ownership wholly undis
turbed. This dual existence will present some
novel and interesting problems for later consid
eration. For example, the one that holds all
roads liable under existing laws the same' as if
they were still privately and independently man
aged. It is obvious that this can scarcely be
done without some slackening of federal author
ity. In fact, it may be assumed that in case of
clash the state law will have to give way. Suits
are to be brought against the companies, which
may open the way to other embarrassments,
for it may be necessary for the owning company
to defend itself in an action growing out of the
course pursued by the federal government.
Other points will suggest themselves, but the
president has embarked on an uncharted sea, and
the patriotic desire of all classes will be of great
help to him in steering his course. That the pro
ceeding is a war measure will assist greatly in
making it operative, but that some knotty ques
tions will be left unsettled when the new law is
finally signed must be plain to all.
Coal for a Thousand Years
American People Own It, But Can't Get It Yet
By Frederic J. Haskin
Washington, Jan. 2. To the consumer
who is buying coal at present prices, or wish
ing that he could, it should be a consolation
to reflect that the American people own
enough coal to satisfy all their probable
needs for. 1,000 years. The amount of this
coal in the public domain is roughly esti
mated at 450,000,000,000 tons, so that every
man, woman and child in the United States
is the owner of over 4,000 tons of coal in the
ground.
How to get it? That is one of the big
problems of the immediate future. Citizens
who want coal at reasonable rates should
take their ryes off the fuel administration,
which' is doing the best it can under present
conditions, and pay attention to congress,
which has the power to change conditions.
acres of coal lands are so withdrawn at this
time. The government scientists are care
fully studying them, deciding just what they
are worth. Meantime, no one can mine the
coal in them.
On the other hand, some 25,000,000 acres
of coal lands have already been classified and
put on the market. But they are purchased
very slowly. Men who would like to buy
them say the prices are too high.
i Exploiting the Men in Khaki.
Visitors returning from the great army can
tonments and camps Bring back one report on
which they are unanimous. It is that the men in
khaki are being overcharged for everything they
have to purchase. Profiteering in the small
towns adjacent to the great camps is shamelessly
carried on and men in uniform are being dis
criminated against openly by dealers. Here is a
place where price control can properly be en
forced. Greed should not be allowed to fatten
on the men to whom the country looks for its
defense. It does not matter that the complaints
are made against such things as a rise in the
price of admission to moving picture theaters,
a cent or two added to the sack of tobacco or
package of cigarets, or to any of the numerous
small articles with which the soldier must supply
himself. The principle involved is the same
in these as in the larger cases. Our sol
diers are well paid, it is true, but that is no
reason for exposing them to the rapacity of the
unpatriotic profit-grabbers, who are shamelessly
taking advantage of the soldier's situation and
making him pay through the nose because he
can not help himself. Authority should be found
somewhere to end this disgrace.
Early in January the senate will vote upon
a bill which provides for the leasing of pub
lic coal and oil lands, in relatively small
tracts, at a low royalty, the ownership to re
main in the government.
The passage of this measure would mean
more coal, and cheaper coal. It would break
monopoly, and divorce the mines from the
carriers. Incidentally, this bill has been
passed twice by the house in. the last two
years, and twice defeated by the senate. The
senate is to vote upon it again in a few days.
Now the house is waiting to see what the
senate will do, with considerable interest.
That interest should be shared by every man
who burns coal.
Another bill which would solve the coal
Droblem is the Crosser bill, which has been
j endorsed in principle by the secretary of la
bor. It also provides for leasing the lands,
under a colonization board which woula
see that the coal lands provided permanent
homes and livings for the men that dug the
coal. In this way, occupation could be given
to many returned soldiers.
The essential idea back of both of these
bills is the same: The government must
own the coal lands; the royalty for their use
must be paid to the government; and the
government must insure proper development.
To understand why this immense supply
of coal in the public lands is not being dug,
it is necessary to go back a few years. Prior
to 1873, coal lands could be taken up by any
one under the agricultural land laws, and
many a great mining property is founded
upon a homestead of pioneer days. The law
of 1873 made some effort to classify coal
lands, but immense tracts continued to pass
into private ownership through land grants
to railroads, and by various other methods.
In 1907 a law was passed which made it
necessary to purchase coal lands from the
government, and this law still stands. The
prices are fixed by the Geological Survey.
Under this law, the great store of coal
remaining in the public domain! has scarcely
been scratched. The reasons for this are
chiefly two. In the first place, a large part
of the public coal lands have been withdrawn
from entry by order of the president for
purposes of classification. Some 44,800,000
It looks as though the administration did
not want anyone to get hold of the coal lands
in the public domain. That is probably
true. The administration is the real author
of this coal-leasing bill. The administration
might be represented as saying:
"By withdrawing lands from entry, and
by putting high prices on them, we will keep
these lands in the ownership of the govern
ment until some law is passed by congress
which will make it possible to mine and dis
tribute the coal at reasonable rates."
Of course, the administration would deny
that it has any such intention. But the inten
tion is pretty evident, none the less. Why
would coal be cheaper if these lands were
mined under the leasing system, than if they
were sold? various reasons suggest them
selves, but the most important one was
neatly illustrated at the senate "coal probe"
the other day, when a member of Mr. Gar
field s fuel administration explained at the
request of Senator Jones of New Mexico why
the price oi antnracite coai is so nign.
3es
WAT)
Defends Defense League.
Ogalalla, Neb., Jan. 3. To the Edi
tor of The Bee: The slurs and criti
cisms that are being circulated about
our state defense league is notice to
every one that they are tending strict
ly to business, and that some person
is getting his just dues. If there was
no howl, but everything serene, then
you could call them a bunch of molly
coddles, and It would not be a defense
league at all. The state league is
performing the difficult duties fear
lessly. In the words of General Grant:
"Let no guilty man escape." Eternal
vigilance is the price of liberty.
EDWIN M. SEARLE.
THE POET'S ROOM.
Call to the Hog Breeders.
Secretary Russell of the National Association
of Swine Breeders, in his conference address at
Washington, clearly outlined what is expected of
the hog raisers of America. To therrf'tiie world
turns for an increased supply of heeded food.
It is admitted that the last year saw a notable
response to the urgent request for more hog
products, but the call is for an even greater sup
ply, and this must be heeded. The hog has been
lifted from the condition of a despised and
neglected source of coarse and uninviting food to
that of a staple unapproached for army uses. His
meat and his fat are indispensible. Therefore,
the farmers of the United States are asked to
raise and send to market this year 10,000,000
more hogs than they did last year, and the de
mand will very likely be met. It can be supplied
easily enough if the farmers give the same at
tention to hog raising they have to other forms
of food production. Lloyd George is making a
renewed appeal to British farmers to produce
more, and his call is as direct to the farmers of
the United States as to those of Great Britain.
Food will win the war, but saving food will not
produce it; this is the farmer's problem, and well
he has answered the call. To him the nation
turns in confidence that the greater, effort will
be made. Let us have more of everything that
grows out of ground and let us 'have more pigs
to turn into bacon and hams and the like,. and
to furnish lard and other forms of fat for the
fighting men.
Mathtas Erzberger announces himself as
wholly in accord with the peace plans formulated
at' Brest-Litovsk, which is all the more reason
why the allies should be suspicious of them.
A very iarge part of the anthracite lands
are held by one great estate, lhe founder
of this estate no doubt purchased these lands
long ago, when they were considered worth
less, and he and his heirs perhaps paid taxes
on them a long time before their value was
discovered. Thus there was a considerable
investment upon which the owners must
make interest.
Now the owners of these coal lands have
nothing to do with mining the coal, even in
a supervisory capacity. They merely lease
to others the right to take out coal on
royalty basis. The royalty which they
charge is very high, and constantly gets
higher. There are several reasons for this
In the first place, there is very little anthra
cite coal in the world, and the great demand
for it makes it posible to charge a high
price. In the second place, the coal oper
ators have a large investment on the ground
in the form of machinery, and if they did not
renew their royalty contracts from year to
year, most of this would be a total loss
Hence they are inclined to pay whatever the
big estate demands. And it demands just as
much as it can possibly get, which makes
the price to the consumer rise.
The result is that when you buy a ton
of anthracite, a large part of what you pay
goes into the pockets of a certain rich fam
ily in Philadelphia, which not only does none
of the pick and shovel work, but perhaps
never saw the mine. You may also pay a
large profit to the operator, another to the
railroad, and a third to t.ie retailer.
Right Cannot Lose in the War
A Forecast oj the New Year
Vic President Thomas R. Marshall, in New York Time
Never in the history of the Republic has
there been so much need for men to walk by
faith and not by sight as at this moment.
Whatever others may believe, I, regardless
of all knowledge, have faith that the morn-
ing light will break in this good year at hand
and that it will break with the sun ot liberty
rising upon a rose-tinted sky. Whether dur
ing the year it shall ascend to the meridian
heights of a world peace, I say not; but, un
less hell is better than heaven, unless evil is
more to be desired than good, unless injustice
is stronger than justice, and the heart of the
vicious is braver than the heart of the virtu
ous, the sun of Liberty surely will move
zenithward.
Let us take consolation and encourage
ment from the history of the Republic. I
have been seemingly fortunate, so far as my
personal safety is concerned, and seemingly
unfortunate to far as my ability to serve my
country is concerned. 1 was not old enough
to take arms in the defense of the union in
the war between the states, and I am now too
old to do anything more for my country than
to have a vision and to voice an unalterable
faith that this Republic is to lead the nations
of the world into the mountains of perfect
peace and to become the arbiter of them all,
seeing to it that justice is done to even the
most leprous of nations, crawling in the sun
light of a newer and a better day.
. Reverting to my boyhood recollections, the
gloom of today is not comparable with the
gloom of July 1, 1863. Confederate forces
were then en masse pon the soil of Penn
sylvania. None knew whether Meade could
stem the tide at Gettysburg; none had hope
that Grant could hammer his way into Vicks
burg. Yet within three days Vicksburg had
fallen and Pickett's charge at the bloody angle
had failed. The waves of rebellion broke for
the last time upon the citadel of the union.
We became a reunited people, and today the
men of the Southland are vying with the men
of the Northland in loyalty and devotion to
the union and to its cause.
I should be the last man to provoke a re
opening of the questions which resulted in
the war between the states. I have never
been able to dispute that constitutionally and
legally the south had its right to secede, but
I have always maintained, and I think the
south now admits, that morally it had no
right to do so. Without facts Upon which to
base the view, nevertheless, I entertain it that
the south would have won had it not been
for the fact that every blow it struck was
weakened to a degree in its penertating
power by a feeling, vague, mysterious, in
definable, but unmistakably felt, that it ought
not to break up the union.
And so it is today with the German sol
dier. He has a vague and disturbing feeling.
He probably is unable to analyze or define it;
! he may not admit that he senses it. But it is
my belief that always there is hammering
at his conscience an unseen hand and that
always there is being whispered into his ear
by an unfamiliar voice: You are fighting in
an unjust cause; you are sacrificing your life
for wrong; you are dealing unfairly with
your fellow-mm; you cannot, cannot win."
This belief, firm in my mind and abiding
with me, dispels whatever gloom may now
rest over the battlefields of Europe.
Accepting any reason or all reasons that
may be given for the failure of Russia to
continue in the fight, we again have pad dis
closed to our vision that two things are es
sential to a democracy education and what
Senator Root has so' admirably described as
"organized self-control." This disposes of
the Russian situation.'
From education and organized self-con
trol proceeds individual initiative. Each
day more and more of our young men are
going to France. They are not mere cogs
in a machine of efficiency. Every college in
America bas its service flag, and the aggre
gate of the stars on these nags reveals a
mighty army of intelligent, educated, think
ing Americans, who have initiative.
Brains alone will win in the long run
over brute force. Brains plus a clear con
science speeds the victory.
I do not minimize the courage of the Ger
man soldier, but men are as they are, and
racial characteristics will show themselves.
Germans will fight with desperation, shoulder
tj shoulder, and die with courage; but the in
dividual soldier, among them will not think
until tomorrow of the thing he should have
done this morning. The reverse is true of
the American soldier. He is not bound by
precedence. '
Let us take this great cause to the inner
most recesses of our individual consciences
and let us there examine it and take a solemn
oath, by the memory of the men who made
and the memory of the men who kept the
republic, that, to the utmost of our endeav
ors, we will lessen the bitterness of partisan
ship by the sweetening influence of our de
votion to our common cause.
It is to be regretted that only they who
are of military age seem to be patriots. Every
farmer who plants an extra plot of ground,
every laboring man who does an extra hour
of work, every employer who strains to the
limit the capacity of his business, every man,
woman, and child who whole-heartedly
pushes the internal activities of the republic,
is enabling the army to be well fed, well
clothed, well supplied.
The war is going to be fought to a suc
cessful conclusion. Upon the individual,
whether in the army abroad or at work at
home, depends its duration.
Another Boost for T. K,
Genoa. Neb., Jan. 3. To the Edi
tor of The Bee: The agitation rela
tive to placing "T. R." in the cabinet
as secretary of war is heartily approved
by myself as an individual and l pre
sume by scores of other men. Any
one who says it is not consistent with
the present administration to place a
republican in the cabinet is certainly
narrow-minded.
At this particular time we should
relegate to the forgotten past all po
litical prejudices and apply ourselves
to unity for the war period at the
least.
When President Wilson appointed
Newton D. Baker secretary of war he
did not foresee the conditions we face
today. We require today, not a law
yer or politican in this important po
sition, but we do require a statesman
filled to the brim with strategy and
that man is ex-President Roosevelt.
Pondering the highest aims of our
government, we cannot expect ex
pedient results in our present cam
paign to obliterate autocracy if we
do not have men like Roosevelt at
the helm. Do let us all unite in
breaking down the bars of political
customs, and instead of hindering our
war aims we will see them executed
in a way that would be most beneficial
to the government
V. A. BRADSHAW.
Henry Kemp in New York independent
I have a table, cot and chair
And nothing more. The walla are bare.
Yet I confess that in my room
Lie Syrian ruga rich from the loom.
Stand statues poised on flying toe.
Hang tapestries with folks a-flow
As the wind takes them to and fro.
And workman fancy has Inlaid
My walls with ivory and jade.
Though opening on a New York street
Full of cries and hurrying feet
My window is a faery space
I That gives on each Imagined place:
Did ruins lost in dvsert peace;
The broken fanes and shrinee of Oreecei
I Aegean Inlands fringed with foam;
The everlasting hills Of Rome;
' Truy flowing red with skyward flame
' And every spot of hallowed fame.
Outside my window I can see
The sweet blue lake of Galilee,
i Ami farmer's purple-regloned height,
j And Sinai clothed with stars and night.
I But this is told in confidence,
i So not a word when you go hnce,
For If my landlord once but knew
: My attic fetched so large a view
I rr-l. nt,.l ii.nttlH n.v.r rf rnntpnt
Till he had raised my monthly rent!
Help to Freeze Out the Kaiser.
Omaha, Jan. 2. To the Editor of
The Bee: Wouldn't it be -grand if
every person would wear warm
underclothes In order to keep down
the temperature in the homes, there
by saving coal and money for thrift
stamps? Wouldn't it be grand if all
the employes In the stores and offices
would wear warm underclothes there
by enabling their employers to save
coal and either lower the cost of their
products or buy thrift stamps?
Wouldn't It be grand if all the school
teachers, school children, and em
ployes In the city office, would wear
warm underclothing thereby saving
coal and lowering the taxes so the
taxpayers could buy more thrift
stamps?
Wouldn't It be grand if we would
all, big and little, wear warm under
clothes and give a strong pull together
to save coal to help freeze out the
AN ENEMY OF THE KAISER.
MERRY JESTS.
"You are accused of driving a motor track
while Intoxicated."
"Your Honor, I have an excuae."
"Let'a hear it."
"The boss put alcohol In the radiator
this morning to keep It from freeiing. The
fumes"
"Sixty days," said the judge Louisville
Courier-Journal.
Mayme (aa two officers pass without a
glance) Gee, Gert, some army men are
'ntirely blind to the female sex.
Gert Sure, I guess they must belong to
that Reserve Corps. Judge.
"When I hear the popular songs whistled
on the streets wherever I go, I'm so thank
ful to the whistlers.''
"Thankful?''
"Yes; suppose they could whistle the
words ! Browning a.
"Mister, have yer got any or duds yea
oon t want'
"No; but I've an old automobile you
may nave.
"Tanks, but I got ernough trouble sup-
plyln me own Innards wldout beggln gas
done from door to door." Boston Tran
crlpt.
She (indignantly) Here' a writer de
clares women are Inherently dishonest.
He He's right. Why, look at yourself.
Haven't you robbed me of my peace of
mind and stolen my heart, you little
thief Baltimore American.
Patience I gave Phil a lock ot my hair
last nignt ana ne was crazy about it.
Patrice Pshaw! Why didn't you give
him the whole switch? It's time you
changed the shade again, anyway." Yonk-
ers Statesman.
"Young Mlllyuns haa been drinking him
self almost to death, and now he's got his
family wild by going off and marrying a
circus girl.
I know her, and the boy knows what he's
about. She's a snake charmer." Louisville
Courier-Journal.
"The surgeon of the regiment was both
professional and military In the order he
gave the men when be wanted to vaccinate
them."
"What was his order?"
" 'Present arms.' "Baltimore American.
1 1 ohav
On Tear Ago Today In the War.
Teutonic forces captured Bralla,
Roumanla, important oil and grain
center.
Russian offensive spread to sector
between Baltic coast and Tiga-Mltan
road.
f Tb Da We Celebrate.
Adelbert Cronkhlte. one of the new
major generals of the United States
army, born In New York S? years ago
today.
Brigadier General Frank Mclntyre,
TJ, 8. A., who haa been acting as chief
military censor, born at Montgomery,
Ala., 63 years ago today.
William Bennett Munro, professor
of municipal government in Harvard
university, born In Ontario 43 years
ago today.
Bennle Kauff, outfielder of the New
York National league base ball team,
born at Mlddleport, O., 28 years ago
today. .
This Day In History.
17T7--Washlngton's army went into
winter quarters at Morristown. N. J.
1711 Richmond, Va., was plunder
ed by a British force led by Benedict
Arnold.
176 Samuel Huntington, a Con
necticut signer of the Declaration of
Independence, died at Norwich, Conn.
Born at Windham, Conn., July 3,
731.
1916 French repelled a vigorous
assault by the Germans ' in Champagne.
Just SO Years Ago Today
Assistant General Passenger Agent
Lomftx, of the Union Pacific railroad
departed for Chicago on business.
II. A. Johnson, first assistant gen
eral freight agent ot the Union Pa
cific railroad, has returned from a
trip to Chicago.
Lew Johnson's "Black Baby Boy"
minstrels are the attraction at the
People's theater this week.
John Wiggins of Columbus, Neb.,
secretary of the Nebraska live Stock
Shippers association. Is la Omaha on
business.
S. S. Beman, the well-known Chi
cago architect, it is in t'ra city.
Jeremiah Lemis of acedonia,' la.,
and Mies Imogen Crarrpton, secured
the first license to wed that, has been
issued by Judge Shieljt 1
The ladies of Trinity Cathedral gave
a pleasant reception JL the cathedral
parlors. The ladies in charge were
Mrs. Judge Doane, ft re. Nathan Shel
ton. Mr. McNIchola -SFrs. Dr. Neville
and aire. C. V. Wager.
Twice Told Tales
Chinese Consul Goon-Dip. of Seat
tle, was talking In his humorous way
about marriage.
"There is a great difference he
said, "between the American mar
riage, where the young people fall in
love and get engaged, and the Chinese
marriage, where they are spliced first
and make each other's acquaintance
afterward.
"These two kinds of marriage are
like two kettles of water. The first,
or American kettle, Is taken at the
boiling point from the Are by mar
riage, and ever afterward keeps grow
ing cooler; but the other, the Chinese,
is a kettle of cold water put on the
fire by wedlock, and ever afterward
growing warmer and warmer, so that
at the end of 50 or 60 years ' we
Chinese wives and husbands are mad
ly in love with one another." Wash
ington Star.
Tom Callahan got a Job on the sec
tion working for a railroad. The sup
erintendent told him to go along the
line looking for washouts.
"And don't be as long-winded In
your next reports as yon have been in
the past," said the superintendent;
'Just report the condition of the road
bed as yojt find it, and don't use a lot
of needless words that are not to the
point. Write like a business letter, not
like a loveletter."
Tom proceeded on his tour of in
spection and when he reached the
river, he wrote his report to the sup
erintendent: ' '"Sir: Where the railroad was, the
river is."- Everybody's Magazine.
Peppery Points (
"Flabby always boasted that when
he married he would never live with
his wife's people, and that is exactly
what he is doing,"
"Not exactly; he Isn't living with
them he is living on them." Louis
ville Courier-Journal.
Washington Post: "Onward with
Gott," said the kaiser, waving his
sword as they brought In the loot
from the church of the Holy Sepul
cher at Jerusalem.
Minneapolis Tribune: One of the
questions in the draft questionnaire
Is: "Are you insane?" The regis
trant is advised to answer this ques
tion before he tackles the others. (
"I have been trying for three week
to fhave a buzzer for my desk."
"Come out home with me, dear boy.
There are buzzers enough there to
supply your whole office." Baltimore
American.
"I told Henrietta that I was proud
to see her vote Just like a man," said
Mr. Meekton.
"Did that please her?"
"No. The choice of phrase was
unfortunate. She said that if she
couldn't vote better than a man there
would have been no need of her
troubling about the ballot In the first
place." Washington Star.
Mrs. Styles Have you forgotten
what day tomorrow is,- dear?
Mr. Styles Tomorrow? Why, yes.
"Well, it's . my birthday. I hop
you'll forget"
"No. I'll not forget. I won't tell
anybody." Yonkers Statesman.
Heard About Omaha
Emerson Enterprise: Another Om
aha policeman has been dismissed
from the force for drunkenness.
They'll get all the bootleggers in
Omaha, they say.
Howells Journal: The throwing of
yellow paint on the front of the Bee
building at Omaha was an outrage
for which there is not the shadow of
an excuse. The loyalty of the paper
and its editor has never been ques
tioned. Every loyal citizen will -resent
the insult and hope for the. capture
and punishment of the coward, who
under the cover of night did the
cowardly deed.
Beatrice Express: An Omaha
woman, who forgave her husband for
the first attempt on her life, balks at
a second attempt recently made and
now wants a divorce. She gives up
the job of trying to make a man out
of her husband, philosophically as
serting that "You'd of thought that
cutting a woman's throat that way
and nearly killing her would have
made a man of him, wouldn't you?"
It does look as though the Omahan
was carrying the little incidents of
married life Just a trifle too far.
History Revised.
Teacher Now tell me, what were
the thoughts that passed through Sir
Isaac Newton's mind when the apple
fell on his head?
Bright Boy I guess he felt awful
glad it wasn't a brick. Boston Transcript
THE MAKING OF BILL.
Pittsburgh Post
BUI waa never any ringer for Adonis,
He waa easier to look at after dark.
And so useless In the schoolroom that he
hung around a poolroom
And amassed a reputation as a shark.
But they picked him up and poured him
Into khaki,
And it gives the girls a jumpy little thrill
When they see him lead the column,
marching mighty straight and sol
emn.
For the uniform has made a man ot Bill,
You can pick 'em here and there around
the village,
Camouflaged as local peits and corner
Duma,
But you'll find there's something to 'em
wnen on dress parade you view "em
Marking time, with earnest footwork, to
the drums.
All they needed was an int'reet In some
business,
And a hunch that there was something
they they could do.
Line the loaflngest rapscallions Into squad
rons ana Dana norm
And don't worry any more, for they'll go
inrougni
Percy's pals were rather prone to call him
"Sissy."
He was always on the side lines In
scrap, '
He was shy and sort of girlie and his hair
was soft and curly.
Just a weak and wishy-washy little chap.
But he buckled up and butted Into Platts
burg, '
And he'll be among the first to go to
France.
And the Honuses and Hermans and the
other kinds of Germans
Will get theirs as soon as Percy gets his
chancel
You can never tell the way they look be
forehand. But as soon as they are In the olive
drab
You don't ever need to doubt 'em; there's a
somethlngness about m
That convinces you that what they want
they'll grab.
Look at any squad that marches to the
landing.
Take another look, and then, well, look
again.
And you'll see they've changed their bearing
with the uniform they're wearing
For the khaki makes 'em able fighting
men!
Your Gain
Our Loss!
Pianos
Player
Pianos
Organs
50
b5i
From $100 and up to make
Room to Seduce Inventory.
We Will Sell or Rest
50
Pianos
Player Pianos
Organs
Not new, but nearly to, at
Prices and Terms to Suit
Every ocketbook.
Kimball Piano, in ebony,
$125, and 9QC.
mahogany
Hospe Piano, in walnut,
$200; in. $9 Eft
mahogany PAOU
Cable-Nelson, fcOOC
mahogany y&CB
New England, sjjgg
S......$150
Emerson Piano, djooC
walnut... I0
Werner Piano, OlfiC
mahogany
sasr. $125
Hinze Piano, COOK
mahogany
Camp & Co. M?
Piano, walnut.... iplOO
Schaeffer Piano, 0900
mahogany. V""
$10 TAKES ONE HOME :
A Little Weekly or
Monthly Pays for It
DO IT NOW
We Rent Pianos
$3.50 Per Month
Player Rolls, 15c Up
Apollo Reproducing
Piano.
Free Demonstrations.
A. Hospe Co.
1513 DOUGLAS ST.
P. S. Some $20, $25 and
$30 Organs, for schools and
homes.
Locomotive Auto Oil
The Best Oil We KnoW
55c Per Gallon
The L V. 5fJ2holas Oil Company
GRAIN EXCHANGE
BLIja
THE OMAHA BEE INFORMATION BUREAU
Washington, O C
..K!d.$td 2'ce"t ,stamP. 'or which you will please send me.
entirely free, "The avy Caltndar."
Name.
eT :
Street Address.
! City
.State.
r