8
THE BEE: OMAHA, WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 3, 1917.
The Omaha Bee
DAILY (MORNING) EVENING - SUNDAY
FOUNDED BY EDWARD RQSEWATEW
VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR
THB BEE PUBLISHING COMPANY. PsOPRIETOR
Entered at Omaha postoffice m teoond-tUts tnattsr.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION
By Carrier. ' Mall
pally sea Sun aw par ssoai. I far
hl without fui4 Jo "
twk witboul Suaeaf " J " J
HtuxUf fte cal . "
Seaa o eaante a( address ar trreffuumr la oemtrf to Omabs
Bm. Ctreulatloa Deputaatak
MEMBER OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Die lmutt true, ef ' n Bm It a sak itaMtaettsIt
snmiad ui im um for rrpaiHtnlhm ef all w er1ita tn it oe
o4 otherwise eridiMd In tall ptpsf end alto las Kil nan nb
ni4 aarnn all rthta at rapiMTeeUoa at ear seeds) dispatcMs
an else itmlixV
REMITTANCE
Hnut e draft, eipreas ar poaUl fr. Only f-eant tttapa taken m
rrteel of small eoteent Psmal aback. umM aa Omabe sad
siMa atohutH. not accepted.
OFFICES
Owiaae The B RutldlM. Ituraro P(ntH t Handle.
Houtb OnHs-48tT a. Wta St Nw ors-?M rift Aw.
Council Blfft-H N. U.ia St Hi. 1r.mt-Nfw It's of Commrrea.
l4iolIJUH DalliUn. Whlinion-7a Hta Bt. K. W
CORRESPONDENCE
address ensufinnteatMae relattnt to we and dllerl) tutler ta
Om.h.s BeaEdllorm Department
SEPTEMBER CIRCULATION
59,022 Daily Sunday, 52,158
AMMia atnltll for IM ata sabstrlbeS sad mvm to b irwltnl
tVIUtaaaa, CirtttliUoa Manatee.
Subscribers leaving tha city shoul. hava Tat Baa mailed
ta theea. Aadrws changed aa off at rrqiwitad.
King Ak and the weather man make charm
ing pais.
Two kings to draw to King Ak-Sar-Ben and
ng Corn.
Kin
The war tax bill will catch you if your in
come is worth while.
' October's initial performance promises to out
shine the charms of September.
Nebraska's crop of 250,000,000 bushels of corn
foreshadows another huge bulge in bank vaults.
"He as has, gits," or words to that effect. A
woman at Aurora, 111., willed n estate of $50,000
to a fdrmer friend.
In the race for quarters in jail it is neck-and-neck
between the bootleggers and the slackers.
Eventually both arrive. f
Imperial jewels are going into the melting pot
in Germany. "Hoch der kaiser" comes perilously
near "der kaiser in hock."
. .There is something in a name. The sheriff
who headed in 400 raiding miners in New Mexico
answers to the name of Slaughter.
r ' ' , , ", '" ." " """""
. . Pacifism in wartime blew Pearson's Maga
zine, a New York periodical, into the bankruptcy
court. The concern ran in the hole $100,000.
But when Uncle Sam fixes the retail price of
coal for all consumers throughout the country, it
is hardly likely he will make a special exception
for Omaha."
-7--
, Fifteen thousand Bostorilans scrambled and
fought for free bananas distributed near one of
the docks because too ripe to sell. What would
happen if free beans were distributed is too hor
rible to think about. ' ..'.. ?
.The American invasion of France has broken
into the language defenses of the country and it
is, now possible to say "hello" over the telephone
and get an' ariswer without putting the line out of
.business. ' , ' v-
Chancellor Michaelis and Grand Admiral von
Tirpitr still 'cling to the delusion that American
help in the war is a phantom. All (he mora, rea
son why, the coming awakening is bound to be
an earthquake. . ' .:.
The country where President Cleveland used
to go duck shooting in Harford county, Md., has
been selected for a thirty-mile range for big guns.
The ducks may fly away, but if they knew it the
place is safer than ever.
A chaplain for every 1,200 men in the army
and navy foresiiadows a ' serious draft on the
supply of clerics, already below the needs of home
tinners. The latter doubtless will meet the sacri
fice with doe humility and conscript the deacons
to lead in prayer.;
t A showing of building operations for nine
months lurpaning Uie tame period last year is
notable evidence of Omaha's forward speed. La
bor, troubles and high material costs, two adverse
factors unusually prominent this year, failed to
check constructive enterprise. - '
Down in, old Missouri the. popularity of the
German language in the schools sags painfully
an4 French grows correspondingly in favor. In
one girls' college at St Louis only sixteen out of
250 students elected to take the disliked language,
and the class was abandoned.
. , Merely by accident a Minneapolis Importer of
a matches discovered one of the supposed methods
' of smuggling fine . steel into Germany from
Sweden. About half the Minneapolis invoice had
a small steel spring concealed in the bottom of
each match box. It is assumed the package was
switched in the wrong direction in Sweden.
Dummheit
New Tor KvenlBK rati-
It is a good German word and it is a word
which Germans themselves have freely applied to
their own rulers. After the revelations of the last
few days they, will be inclined to apply it with
more freedom and bitterness than ever. In the
way of criminal proceedings the German govern
ment has lost the Bower to give the world any
thing novel The worst is now easily believed.
But tn displays of stupidity German officials seem
to be able to go on surpassing even themselves.
What most strikes one in the Bernstorff attempt
to corrupt congress and in all the plotting and vio
lation of the law in .which the German embassy
and its agents and dupes engaged is not so much
the wickedness of the whole as its crass folly.
These astute supermen of diplomacy , were im
posed upon right and left. They were veritable
easy marks" for adventurers and fakers. The
money they poured out was largely wasted. They
bought men for thousands who were notoriously
not worth a nickel. And their miscalculations
throughout were simply ludicrous. They had more
blundering conceptions of the real forces that
sway this country than were ever before enter
tained bv a single set of Incompetent A child
in the kindergarten would have had a better idea
of means and ends than that they acted upon.
They were credulous beyond belief; they were
bled through the nose by all sorts of impostors;
they lither understood their job nor how to go
about it Of boasted German efficiency in gov
ernment they made a screaming farce. With all
the mitaiit UArM iut nt tUtm t. -f -
ii r , ,'. '"7 X v vi tins, nuw IVI1I
will tt be before the German people understand it?
Colonel Keith Neville.
Nebraskans were prepared by The Bee weeks
ago for the official announcement that Keith Ne
ville would exchange the governorship for a com
mission as colonel of a Nebraska regiment There
fore, his acceptance of such a commission from
Lieutenant Governor Howard is no surprise. No
definite time is fixed as yet when Governor Neville
will formally resign his office, and allow it to
pass under the constitutional succession to Edgar
Howard, but now that he actually has assumed
the title of colonel of the new regiment, it is not
improbable he will want to take active part in its
completion and therefore may soon give over
civil for military activity.
Governor Neville is not the first governor of
Nebraska to turn his office to the lieutenant gov
ernor, but he is the first to step out of the execu
tive's chair to become a soldier. His action is
characteristic of the high spirited youth -of the
state, who find in the field far more attraction
now than the routine of office can hold. The Bee
congratulates him on his determination and re
news to him the pledge made when he was in
augurated in January, that he will have its loyal
support in all his honest efforts to serve the
people.
Governor Edgar Howard, when he ascends to
the executive chair, will take with him the good
wishes of this paper also. His politics are not
ours, but hit interest in Nebraska and hit loyalty
to the American republic are unquestioned.
Ishil Makes Pledges for Jspan.
Baron Ishii crowns his American mission with
a pledge that Japan will hereafter respect Chinese
integrity, both political and territorial, providing
other nations do so. The saving clause in the lat
ter provision of the baron's pledge may leave his
whole proposition open to question. Japan has
twice in recent years interpreted acts of other
nations as warrant for taking over some part of
China and has called out vigorous protest from
the United States on both occasions. It is, of
course, quite possible that the mikado's govern
ment is sincere in its promise this time, as recent
changes in China are of a nature to justify the
belief that the Celestials will be able to take
care of themselves.
Ishii, however, did not come to this country
at this time to make this pledge. His real ob
ject has to do with relations between America
and Japan. The Japanese chafe under our na
tional attitude towards them, especially resenting
the fact that we have classified them as racially
objectionable. Their own scientists lay claim to
an ethnological distinction we are unwilling to
concede to them, asserting they are a superior
and not an inferior raee. This has naturally af
fected the intercourse between the countries and
involves points not soon to be settled. Japanese
ambition, fostered by pride in accomplishment,
looks forward to a national destiny equal to that
of any of the great peoples of the world and
resents treatment that savors of less than equal
ity. To establish a better appreciation of Japan
ese aspirations in this regard is really Ishii's ob
ject in America.
Americans are justified in entertaining some
distrust of any overture from Japan, because the
Nipponese have not always been frank with us.
The time may come when a complete understand
ing will be reached and visits such as that of
Baron Ishii and his" party will help to this end.
Japan's relations to the world will undoubtedly
come in for some consideration when the gen
Leral readjustment of relations tomes at the ertd
r.r . i t mi tl . .
qi me war. u win dc one 01 many vexatious
propositions then to be taken up and like the
others will probably be determined on the basis
of what it better for everybody.
United States Control of Shipping.
October IS has been set as the date on which
the United States will commandeer all vessels un
der the American flag and put Into effect the uni
form schedule of charter ratea determined upon.
Thit i by fat th most drastic step yet taken by
the federal government in its price control opera
tions. , A basic rate for monthly Charters, begin
ning with $5.75 per deadweight ton for vessels
above 10,000 tons deadweight capacity and go
ing up to $7 for vessels as small as 2,500 to 3,000
tons, determined for a speed of eleven knots, with
a bonus of 50 cents per knot or fraction, is fixed.
When thit is Contrasted with rates that have been
as high at $100 per ton from New York to Brit
fsh ports the radical character of the reduction
that has been made will be apparent No fea
ture of all the war has been so marked as the
rapacity of the vessel owners. They have caplr
talized the necessities Of the nations at enormous
profits t themselves and by their operation
have aided In levying tribute dn all industries
and commerce of character. This, too, in face
of every possible protection given them against
the dangers and vicissitudes of war, with ample
government insurance in case of destruction,
thereby making vessel and Cargo owners alike
immune to I6ss. Neutral' ship owners will be
under the tame control) at port privileges may
be denied them In event of their refusal to con
form to regulations established. Moreover, it is
held that under stress of emergency the govern
ment hat the right to commandeer any neutral
ship for its uses. As the United States has ship
ping to the extent of almost 3,000,000 tons of its
own, the addition of the fleets it is now able to
controt will pretty, well insure a reduction in ocean
freight rates and thus eliminate one of the scan
dalous phases of the war, with a corresponding
influence on prices. " '
Inscribe the Names on a Roll of Honor.
Over at Chicago the municipal authorities are
to accord official recognition to the men who have
been serving on the various exemption boards by
inscribing their names on a roll of honor in (the
public records. This in an example which could
welt be followed in Omaha, for here, as every
where, these men have been performing a most
onerous and exacting task. Few of them will
even put in a claim for the nominal compensa
tion which they may have for the asking. Al
though drafted to this work, they are in reality
serving at volunteers at no inconsiderable sacri
fice of their own private interests.
Taken altogether, the exemption boards, local
and district, rank high above the average and
command the confidence of the public In their
ability and desire to give every One a square deal
As a consequence there have been practically no
complaints here so far of unfairness or favoritism
or of yielding to undue influence. These exemp
tion board members already have that highest
reward, .the feeling of self-satisfaction, but they
are entitled to something more in the way of a
testimonial of public gratitude.
, Rushing school improvement bonds into a
market fairly smothered with the federal loan
and interest rates rising suggests business fore
sight going to seed.' "
That Early Shopping
By Fre 'tric J. Haskin
Washington, Sept 30.In about two months
there will stare at you from car cards and bill
boards, from your morning mail and your eve
ning newspaper that ancient, oft-repeated slogan,
"Do your Christmas shopping early." ,
It. will then be too late. If you really want
to Select your gifts instead of just buying them,
and if you want to arrive on time instead of some
time, begin laying your plans now. This great
annual American exchange of greetings, good
will and general merchandise has grown to such
gigantic proportions that the retail stores and
the Postoffice department bump their heads
against the limitations of time, space and human
endurance in the effort to handle it. If you go
in for giving on a large scale you must start while
the weather is still warm to put them all across
before next year.
The amount of time and energy expended by
the American people in celebrating Christmas
is something stupendous. They spend enough
money to float another Liberty loan, and enough
energy to push the western front back ten
miles. The worst of it is that a good deal of
this money and energy is wasted. A gift is a
fine thing if itis carefully selected; if it contains
thought as well as money, and is an expression
of individuality. But when you start out on the
Saturday afternoon before Christmas to buy
your whole list of presents, and find long before
you are done that the stock, the salespeople and
your own patience and wind are exhausted, giv
ing becomes a bore and a disappointment Fur
thermore, unless the gift is packed right and
mailed early, the chances are against its arriving
on time and in good shape if at all.
It is fairly obvious that the federal Postoffice
department should conduct a publicity campaign
for Christmas preparedness. But it has never
done more than send out a few suggestions for
postmasters, and those last year arrived too late
to do much good. The Postoffice department
has no appropriation for a nation-wide campaign
of publicity, and that is one all-sufficient reason
why it has never made one.
One of the most effective of the publicity
methods used by the postmasters of cities was to
persuade the public school officials to let the boys
in high schools write essays on how the Christ
mas mail difficulty might be met, This gave the
boys a chance to exercise their ingenuity and
executive ability, and some of them made sug
gestions of which the postoffice was able to
make use. Then boys who had written essays
were given first call on the several hundred posi
tions as assistants for the Christmas work. Many
of them took the jobs . and they proved to be the
most intelligent and willing of the emergency
employes.
Another feature of the campaign was a series
of cards which were mailed to every house in
Washington, wishing the inmates a happy
Christmas, and telling them how and when to
post their Christmas mail. The first of these
cards, mailed December 2, simply urged the
citizen to do his shopping and mail early, thus
allowing the parcel at least three or four days
more to reach ( its destination than in normal
times. The second card, mailed on the 9th,
gave the household a schedule of dates, showing
when to mail parcels for different sections of
the country. Thus parcels for California and the
far west had to be mailed not later than the 16th.
while those for local distribution could be mailed
as late as the 21st The last card, on the 16th,
again urged early mailing, and advised marking
packages "Don't open till Christmas."
The efficacy of this campaign was proved by
the fact that the average mailing date was ad
vanced about three days. The packages began
to come in early in the month, and bV the middle
of the month were received in considerable vol
ume,. A large part of Washington's Christmas
outgoing mail was out of the way before Christ
mas day, and the employes were able on that day
to clean up the last of the incoming. Of course
they had to work hard to do it. But Christmas
always means hard work for postal employes
They regularly work from twelve to fourteen
hours a day for several days, and although they
are paid overtime for the extra work, that is no
compensation for a Christmas spent away from
home at back-breaking toil. Of course extra em
ployes are called in by the hundred, but there is
a limit to what an untrained man can do in a
postoffice.
The Christmas situation this year is going to
be complicated by the number of soldiers and
near-soldiers in training camps, cantonments and
abroad, who are sure to be heavily showered with
Christmas gifts. Everyone will want to show his
good will toward the soldiers, and there are so
many things that a soldier can use. A cake or a
box Of cigats, which would be commonplace to a
man at home, are welcome luxuries In camp and
these bulky things are undoubtedly going forward
by the ton.
Trt nranara f . . I. J .
Kf-.v vMwiBiuias is io uu a great ueai
more than help the Postoffice department handle
the mail. It is to help relieve the greatest of our
holidays, the season of most delightful traditions
and memories, of the crowding and pushing, the
noise and hysteria, which are becoming all too
much a part of it. You do not have to be very
Old to reflect that Christmas nowadays is not
much like it used to be, and that the old kind was
the best. There is undoubtedly something of a
reaction aninti it Th nra ... nni..
- "-- - o vnij vine
symptom. To more and more people every year
Chrictmaa ta Yifrm in ct ems! - 1. ... ....
owi.jy.j a litrjr CAUCUSC
and a tar nr ra WArlr Tli ....... ,n I..... r
and sane'. Christmas is to prepare for it ahead of
Spirit of it.
The Burst Bubble
' Waahlnrtoa roat
Senator James Hamilton Lewis made an in
teresting contribution to literature bearing upon
the war hen he presented in the senate the re
port of Admiral Dewey to the Navy department
repeating a threat of German world conquest
made by Captain von Goetzen of the German
navy in 1898. The German officer boldly warned
Dewey that about fifteen vears frnm that tim
Germany would start a great war, take Paris and
inen nurry across the channel and. crush Eng
land. "Some months after we finish our work in Eu
rope." he said, "we will take New Yort anH nrnh.
ably Washington and hold them for some time.
We will put your country in its place with refer
ence to Germany. . We do not propose to take any
of )-our territory, but we do intend to take a
billion or so of your dollars from New York
and Other places. The Monroe doctrine jvill be
taken charge of by us. as we will then have
put you in your place."
wewey, then tn command of the American
Asiatic fleet thought this boastful statement of
enough importance to make report of it to the
department and it is to be found in the archives.
Interesting though it is and startling in its bru
tal frankness, It will occasion little surprise among
the American oeoole. since there hat been a Gen
eral impression here for many years that Ger
many's var preparations were based upon some
such delirium as this. Germany's course during
all of the present kaiser's reign obviously was
aimed at the accomplishment of werld domina
tion. . The American oublic has not forgotten the
attempt made by the German fleet to interfere
with Dewey in Manila bay in that memorable
month of May,' 1898. Dewey stopped the inter
ference by notifying the Germans that if they
were looking for alight they could get it right
there.
The kaiser, tt arrears, was late in startinsr his
world conquest and, once he started it he met
such delays that he is now running far behind
schsdule time. New York is doing very nicely
and Washington remains in the hands of the
Americans. The Hohenzollern bubble has burst
the vision has vanished into air, the German gov
ernment stands balked in its designs and the in
sane effort to vanquish the world has accom
plished nothing but misery and suffering.
TODAY
Right in the Spotlight.
Virgil G. Hlnshaw, the leading spirit
in & conrerence called to meet in Chi
cago today with the object It Is said.
of bringing about a political working
agreement among, the prohibitionists.
progressives, socialist, single taxers
and union labor, is the chairman of
the national committee of the prohibi
tlon party. Mr. Hlnshaw Is a native of
Iowa and was graduated from Penn
college in 1J00. For four years he trav
eled In the interest of the Intercolleei
ate Prohibition association. From 190S
to 1908 he studied law at the Univer
sity of Minnesota. Then he became
president of the Intercollegiate Prohi
bltion association and traveled for two
years, promoting Its interests. later he
set up a law office in Portland, Ore..
where he was making his mark, when
summoned to the position pf chairman
of the national committee. In this office
he has been singularly successful in
raising funds for the party.
One Year Ago Today In the War.
Count Okuma, prime minister of
japan, resigned.
Austrian monitors on the Danube
destroyed pontoon bridges in rear of
the Roumanian forces invading Bui
garia.
In Omaha Thirty Years Ago Today.
The . republican convention nomi
nated the following candidates for the
various county offices: County treaa
urer, Henry Bolln; county recorder,
Charles P. Needham; county Judge,
D. H. Mercer; county school superin
tendent, James B. Bruner; county
clerk, B. F. Redman; coroner, P. J,
Barrett; county commissioners, Wil
liam R. Turner and John Morrell.
Julius Sardanapolls Cooley blew
around the town with an invitation to
the board of trade banquet clutched
proudly in his hands.
N. Merriam is advertising for a fam
ily coach team.
The proprietors of the gas well have
let the contract to -Bert Bullock of
South Omaha to sink ai well 800 feet
The following men were added to
the Are department: John Tldner,
Mike Hannon, Frank Mezik, Charles
Fleming.
The dummy passengers are demand
ing a ticket office at Sheely station.
A meeting of the Loyal Legion of
Nebraska was held at the Millard hotel
and the following new members were
admitted: Colonel Summers, R. W.
Patrick, Captain Jacob W. Her, B. S.
Paddock, John A. Gordon and Captain
Dexter L. Thomas.
Ed Miller, who had his arm broken
a short time ago, had the misfortune
to fall and have It rebroken In the
same place.
This Day In History.
1775 Benjamin Church, surgeon
general of the American army In the
revolution, was convicted of treason,
the first conviction of its kind in the
colonies.
1817 Robert Finley, fourth presl
dent of the University of Geonria. died
at Athens, Ga. Born at Princeton, N. J.,
in 1772.
1832 Edward E. Noyes, civil war
soldier and governor of Ohio, born at
Haverhill, Mass. Died at Cincinnati,
September 4, 1890.
1842 Marcus Whitman left his mis
sion station on the Walla Walla river
and began a perilous overland Journey
to St. Loula to plead with the mission
ary board for permission to continue
his work among the Indians. '
1848 Emperor of Austria dissolved
the Hungarian parliament and pro
claimed martial law.
1868 President Lincoln Instituted a
national thanksgiving.
1867 Elias HoWe, Inventor of the
sewing machine, died in Brooklyn, N.
Y. Born at Spencer, Mass., July 9,
1819.
1914 Rueten Bey, Turkish ambas
sador at Washington, cult his post be
cause of official dissatisfaction with his
published views on American affairs.
1915 Russia sent ultimatum to Bulgaria.
Tho Day We Celebrate.
Frederick Simpson, retired, is 75
today. He owned Omaha's pioneer
blacksmith and carriage shop on Cum
ing street He was captain in the Thirty-fifth
regiment in the civil war.
Major General William C. Gorgas,
surgeon general of the United States
army, born at Mobile, Ala,, sixty-three
years ago today.
Nora Bayes, noted singing come
dienne of the American stage, born in
Chicago thirty-seven years ago today.
Crown Prince Carol, heir to the
Roumanian throne, born In Bucharest
twenty-four years ago today.
Royal C. Johnson, representative In
congress of the Second South Dakota
district, born at Cherokee, la., thirty
Ave years ago today.
Andrew J. Montague, former gov
ernor of Virginia, now a member of
congress, born in Campbell county,
Virginia, flfty-flve years ago today.
Miss Virginia Glldersleeve, dean of
Barnard college, born in New York
City forty years ago today.
Timely Jottings and Reminders.
Today has been fixed by the War de
partment as the date for summoning
another large contingent of draft
forces for the National army.
Secretary of the Treasury McAdoo is
scheduled to speak at Madison, Wis.,
today in the Interest of the Second
Liberty loan bond issue.
Plans to enlist women tn agricul
tural work to meet the nation's neces
sities during the war will be considered
by the National Woman's Farm and
Garden association at its annual con
vention to be held today in Chicago.
A political working agreement
among the prohibitionists, progres
sives, socialists, single taxers and union
labor is said to be the purpose of a
conference to be held today in Chi
cago. There will be 100 delegates,
twenty from each contingent and
they will meet behind closed doors.
StOryette of the Day.
William Williams hated nicknames.
He used to say that most fine given
names were ruined by abbreviation,
which was a sin and a shame. "I
myself," he said, "am one of six
brothers. We were all given godd.
old-fashioned Christian names, but all
those names were shortened into
meaningless or feeble monosyllables by
our friends. I shall name my chil.
dren so-that it will be impracticable
to curtail their names."
The Williams family, in the course
of time, was blessed With five children,
all boys. The eldest was named after
the father William. Of course, that
could be shortened to Will or enfeebled
to Willie but wait! A second son
came and was .christened Willard.
"Aha!" chucked Mr. Williams. "Now
everybody will have to speak the full
name of each of these boys in order
to distinguish them."
In pursuance of this scheme the
next three soas were named Wilbert
Wilfred and Wilmont.x
They are e.11 big boys now. And
they are respectively known to their
intimates aa Bill, Skinny. Butch.
Chuck and Kid. Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Michigan beliavaa It haa enough aalt to
aapply tha world for 2,000 rcara.
HERE AND THERE.
la England all carta and wagona Biut bear
the owner's name and addreaa before being
aed tn a public highway.
The aimple twisting of a iafetr-pin in
auch a way that there could be no danzer
of the point scratching the child made its
patentee rich beyond the dreams of avarice.
A wealthy Greek ahip owner has given
1100,000 to the French government, the in
terest on which is to provide pensiona for
the familiea of the French sailors killed in
Athena last December.
The food eaten each year by the rat popu
lation of the United States amounts to $160,
000,000. This figure does not include the
loss of materials other than foods destroyed
by rats.
If success greets a memorial campaign
now being waged, a 8250,000 memorial to
the lata John P. 6t John, governor of Kan
saa and prohibition leader, will be erected at
Olathe, Kan.
Milliona of horses are being destroyed In
the present war. Since the beginning of tha
war about 750,000 have been aent from the
United States to Europe, and reports show a
decrease of about S3.000 in the number of
horses in this country for the year 1910 and
1917.
Oregon and Washington were one the
habitat of camels, long extinet in this coun
try, according to the announcement of a dis
covery made by Prof. John C. Merriam and
John P. Buwalda of the University of Cali
fornia. Fossil remains of camels were found
in the White Bluffs region along the north
ern bank of the Columbia river.
CON-SERVE.
SMILING LINES.
He So you refuse to bo married on Fri
day. Are you auperatltlous?
She No, but a lot rf my girl friends are.
and they would eay I only consented to a
Friday wedding because It was ray 1km
char.ee. Boston Transcript.
Blllton (engaging new chautfeur) And
have you any references from your last em
ployer? Applicant No, sir; but I can gat aorae in
about a week.
Blllton Why the d-Iny?
Applicant He's In the hospital, sir.
Everybody's Masaslne.
"My daughter is engaged to a very prom
ising young man."
"Yea, I know him. He has promised to
pay me the money he borrowed from me
when he got hold of yours." Baltimore
American.
'Tea, she accepted him nearly three
Weeka ago, and they are not married yet."
"What a pity! 1 never did believe in those
long engagements." Life.
"Many of our girls marry well," said the
head of the store to the new saleslady. "A
millionaire just married a girl in our fur
department. Settled JoO.OOO on her, too."
"Dear me, and here I am at the bargain
counter." Louisville Courier-Journal.
"Who was It ss'.d the children should
be seen and not heard?
"I don't know, t-'ome old grouch, I sup.
pose." Detroit Free 1'resn.
"Mary had a little lamb, as possibly you
know, and everywhere that Mary went the
lamb was sure to go."
"Must have been a trifle awkward to have
the critter at afternoon teas." commented
Mrs. Flubdub. Cincinnati Enquirer.
pro
'tis
The katy-dlds in Omaha ark arguin'
and con.
The sun is shtnln' hot, too hot, to put your
heavies on;
The frost has not yet nipped the corn,
the trees still flaunt their green.
Tho In the shops and on the heads new
autumn lids are seen.
Tha asters bloom upon the lawn; the morn
tna- elorlea clamber
And lift their pretty goblets Up to catch
the sunlight amber:
The amateurs are digging corn and husk
ing beets and tatera
While their wives are making onion Jam and
jell of green tomatoes.
The ladies are a knlttln' warm articles,
now bless 'em.
Of various shapes and sises,
some Job to guess 'em;
By the color of the yarn they use they
stand revealed to you
Perhaps soma Ilka the autumn leavaa will
ahortly change their hue.
The robins are a saunterin' all silent on the
lawn,
A plannin' trips to southern lands where
the early bird has gone,
While the flicker fills his pocket with
toothsome little ants
Lest his train ahould lack a diner he's
too wise to a chance.
The squirrel is oblivious to the arguments
In vogue
He careth not that writers have labeled
him a rogue,
But keeps at his "blsness" of "vittle"
conservation
Which ha began ere ha was forced by
Hooverlsb Uglslation. ,
The B. and O. are choppln' hash to con
serve on their diners
And the travelers partake thereof because
they are pledge signers;
And ladles who keep boardln' bouse adopt
this notion new.
And If you are a boarder they're servln'
hash to you.
The man who said conserve on heat said
something, let me state,
When be said lower temperatures In houses
and abate
The uaeless use of fuel -to supply the na
tion's need,
'Twill offset anyhow the lack caused by
the magnate's greed.
For we'll rise at dawn and shiver our
selves into our clothes;
We'll ahlver down our breakfast and we'll
shiver to repose
To help our Uncle 8ammy tn a cause that's
true and Just,
And yes, we'll even dine on hash, if Unc
Sammy aays we must
And while katy dlds are arguing like
Dave Olson and Carl Herring
And the housewife safely hoarding every
small potato paring,
Let us keep as sane as may be and eon
serve our equipoise
For the ilme we'll rush to welcome our
victorious soldier boys.
Omaha. GUT A. WISE.
"The young fellow was actually burning
with Indignation when I refused to let him
marry my dauehter."
"What did you dlo?"
"I put him out Baltimore American.
"I'm fixed. One of my daughters married
a baker and the other a butcher."
"I see. You have one son-in-law who can
raise the dough, and another who can make
both ends meet." Baltimore American.
Belle Do you known I've had this dress
for eight years?
Beulah Yes. I know you've had It all
the time yove been tt yeara old. Yonkers
Statesman. ,
Mr. Exe Did you tell the cook that the
beefsteak was burned?
Mrs. Exe Mercy, no! She would leave In
stantly. I told her it waa Just right, but
that we preferred it a trifle underdone.
Boston Transcript.
Knicker What are the Smiths doing?
Bocker She la figuring how to spend
110 and he la deciding how to spend seven
billions. Judge.
"Just saw a performance of Julius Cae
sar." "How was the mob scene?"
"Not very realistic"
"No?"
"It destroys the Illusion to recognize your
butcher's boy In a crowd of Roman citl
tens." Birmingham Age Herald.
"You say you make your living as a
character reader?"
"I do."
"Can you tell people what they really
are ?"
"I don't try to do that, my friend. If.
f did they'd never recognise themselves."
Louisville Courier-Journal.
"I never allow young men to kiss me."
"Oh, I see. You're one of those conscien
tious objeotors, too." Detroit Free Press.
"With coal beyond reach and wood go
ing up every day, how are the common
people going to keep warm thla winter?"
"I. gueas they'll have to do the best they
can twith their burning Indignation." Bal
timore American.
Mr. Nuwed Sweetheart, did you make
this biscuit out of the cookery book?
Mrs. Nuwed Yes, love!
Mr. Nuwed Well, I thought I tasted on
of the covers. Judge.
goes out between the acta, doesn't he?
onion no, aearj ne comet m between
the drinks. Life.
"Why Is Senator Bludub to anrrr about
tbla Interview? Does ha claim that he waa
incorrectly quoted?"
"No, he waa correctly quoted, and that'a
what hurts." Kansas City Journal.
"And can your little boy talk?" asked
the minister.
"Oh, yea. Harold, say aomethlne- for Dr.
Prim." '
Mother," piped up Harold, "hat the beer
come for the party tonight?" Louisville
Courier-Journal
J7VERY roast can be done to a turn on a New Per- j
f ection Oil Cook Stove. That's because the Long J
Blue Chimney gives perfect combustion and even"heat ' 0
A New Perfection cooks fast or slow aa you like. J
The flame stays where you set it I.
Ask your dealer to demonstrate a New Perfection I
for you. R
For lest results use Peredhn Kerosene. I
W STANDARD OIL COMPANY
Si HOTEL MARTINIQUE l
Sjpl Broadway, 32d St, New York I
' Oae Block from Pennsylvania Station I
JP'LJ yu Equally Convenient for
II" f&y,y aXu m",em,Bt StaPPi"! Buainees B
Vuji jj 187 pleasant rooms, with private beta B
W ISifiiii ff $2-50 PER DAY I
, f)4$Jri 257 ee"eB' rooms with private bath, I
vv fffiHlliUHrW facing street, southern exposure, B
SSil $3.00 PER DAY
a a a n tr Attractive Room from $1.50. B
400 BathS T Rtaraat Price Are Most Moderate. I
600 Rooms qaam '
i 11
THE OMAHA BEE INFORMATION BUREAU
Washington, O. C.
Enclosed find a 2-cent stamp, for which you will please send me,
entirely free. a copy of "Storing Vegetables."
Name.. .,
Street Address
CitT State
