THE BEE: OMAHA, THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 20, 1917. The Omaha Bee DAILY (MORNING) EVENING -r SUNDAY FOUNDED BY EDWARD ROSEWATER VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR THE BEE PUBLISHING COMPANY. PROPRIETOR Entered at Omaha postoffica aa second-class matter. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION Bf Carrier. - Bt Hall t Oil If and 8undf ....... p amoUu (,1a Ptt ytu. trfofl flatly mOiflut aanday,. 4 So " 4 00 k'?iitti ud Bund?.. ............. " 40o M nini Wtaout 8iuday....l " V - 4 00 Sunday Bee only too 1.00 &mi notice of chant of udna or imtulsrlty ta ddlrtrr to Omits Bes. urcuiauon. IxiArtoimi. MEMBER 6f THE ASSOCIATED PRESS Tin Asseclsttd Prm. of lcb Tba B If a awmtar. It aelottnlr entitled to tlit dm far rcrunllottloB of all son erodllad to It or a otMiwist erMltM m tali ptpw ana UM tM lord iwt pus tithed ben:a. All tight of npubltculoa of our spool! diiostcset ar auo memo. REMITTANCE emit nt draft, expnss or potto) order. CMI I-eont lump takes ta prent of until account. Personal ease, except oa On autom uoaaof. not eeoeptod. OFFICES Omaha Tb Bee Rnildlne. Bouio Omaha 4S2? a lilt Bt Council Bluff 14 !. Uato St Ltmoia Liitle pmldlnt. llilcuo Ponplo'a On Rulldloa. "Ki York 26 fifth Am. Bt looio New B's of Comnero. Washington 7 14ta St.. N. W. , , CORRESPONDENCE address oooitintiton relttlnt ta am sad editorial milter ta Oaioha Boo, editorial Popartineat. AUGUST CIRCULATION 59,011 Daily Sunday, 51,912 Amege (irealatlm for the nmatk subscribed sad taora ta Of Dwlgbt WUUeata, Olieulatloa Msatter. Subscriber leaving the city should have Tba Baa aaafl! to them. Addreee c honied aa oftoa aa requested. America first in thought as well as in words and deeds. , . -. Nebraska's pride and confidence follow her sons wherever duty -calls. But, if a hotel excluded all "cats," how could it hope to be a popular hostelry? Ak-Sar-Ben is only a week offl Let all loyal subjects take heed and be prepared. Get your money ready for more Liberty bonds. Uncle Sam must have it to help win the war. , If Washington is fully awake to its opportuni ties a city census is the first order of business. Looks as if all our local governing bodies had also been infected with the money-spilling conta gion. ; " ' , ' ' Universal military service is a success because Us foundation is the same foundation that de mocracy rests upon. Master bakers, it is said, laugh at the idea of a 5-cent bread loaf. A 5-cent loaf would make some of us laugh, too. Cheer them on 1 Omaha's quota of the na tional army reflects the soul of patriotism and the loyal iptrit of the home town. France's war bill to date totals $20,600,000,000. Moreexectition has been done with the money than any other nation can boast of. ' 1 The householder doesn't care who owns the coal yard so long as the price and the service are right If the coal man woftjt, the munici pality can.- Truth wraps a stout arm around the judf cial statement that the dry law is not on trial. Not by a jugful. . It's the fellow who monkeyed with the corks. i Some of our juries may be reluctant to send bootleggers to jail, but injunction against prop erty used as bootlegging'joints is held by no such conscientious scruple. ( The evil germ of the deficit insinuates itself into the recreation department. Til pity 'tis trufr. Recreation .loses much of its Joy when the till emits a hollow sound. A large number of pretended patriots imagine they hoodwink the crowd white working s the Barnum motto: "Get money, honestly if you can, but get money., ' , : Co-ordinating various national forces for war encounters little serious obstruction down the lines. Difficulties appear mostly at the founts of power.-If the big heads of the government co ordinated more efficiently the country would be spared the inconsistency of one branch appealing for greater food production and another branch drafting from the farms help essential to saving the crops ia sight." . The kaiser takes the world into his confidence long enough to say that he made no offers of separate peace to' the United States, That was some time ago : Had he then known how ear nestly Nebraska Indians were whetting knives for a scalp dance at Potsdam his , voice would sound a different note. Now the worst is to corned ; In promoting Bishop John H. Tihen of the Catholic diocese Of Lincoln to the vacant see W Denver church authorities show deserved appre ciation of progressive zeal, unifying service and intellectual fitness. Bishop Tihen poured the oil of peace and g6od will into innumerable church wounds when he took charge of the Lincoln dio cese, turned discords into churchly harmonies and infused healthy cO-Operation among his flocks. A larger field befits his abilities. ; A Nation Going to School -St Leul Cloba-Demecrat- This has been in the United States a year of popular education on a great scale and many new lines. Military training, thrift gardening, conser vation of food, strengthening of army and navy along the line of universal service, aviation, im proved gunnery, the raising and appropriation of money on the billion scale, are some of the branches in course of inculcation, in a general way the subject of study is national preparedness. It is evident that we must be ready to cope with a powerful enemy that can find excuses for re sorting to ruthlessness cultivated as a science in so-called efficiency. Destructiveness in new forms may be turned loose upon us. We must be able to cope with them or face the certainty that if we do ' not master this new education we .must expect to wear a yoke that will signify the end of free 'government Such submission is unthinkable to : Americans. We have taken up all these studies manfully. We do not lack men( or ships, or money. ' We are eager to learn and inspired by a cour ' ageous epiwt of patriotic sacrifice, come what will. Practically, American -women, as well as men, are equally informed ai to what is at stake. Our : immensely broadened military training is not-mili-taristn. It is opposed to a militarism that has drenched the world in blood, and. temporarily i weighted down civilization with a hideous waste of hfe and. property. We are fighting, and spend ing a vast treasure, we are drilling and marching, to end such militarism forever. For thu accom plishment -we are busy ami willing pupils. We hope to get a diploma tn building a better founda , tion for a more enduring righteous peace than mankind has yet known. We will prove to be apt scholar. Ho fear as- to that.. Preparing for Next Liberty Loan. Machine -y is now being set ift order for the flotation of the immense bond issue involved in the next Liberty loan. The details of the issue will be explained when the proposition is laid be fore the public. What most is sought is to con tinue the popular interest in the national loan. The result of the first drive was highly satisfac tory, but it must be considerably improved in order to maintain the record. More than three million purchasers then subscribed for three bil lions of bonds, of which only two billions were allotted. If the experience of England and Ger many is to be repeated on this side the coming issue will have to bring out proffers from at least six million purchasers. ' The appeal in support of the bonds is most powerful. Not only is patriotism touched, but good business instinct. The investment is the soundest possible, supported by the best secu rity known to man and with a reasonable return in income absolutely sure. All the arguments ad vanced in the original campaign still hold good, with the addition of what has since been learned by experience. One of the most impressive of the newer arguments is that we have now eight hundred thousand men under arms and six hun dred thousand 'more in training. These must be supported and subscription to the Liberty loan is an excellent method for enlisting the dollars of the country behind its soldiers. The State University and the War. All will agree that the University of Nebraska is doing it,s full share to meet the war responsi bilities put upon it and must naturally suffer a shrinkage in its student body as a .result of war activities. It deserves three rousin cheers which should be given with a vim, but it is not neces sary to induce the cheering by flagrant misrepre sentation that would lead people to believe the university to be operating this year with only half its iusual attendance. Our wonderful con temporary, the World-Herald, tries ,to make out that "this great splendid school find's its enroll ment decreased 52 per cent this year because of the war. Remembering that our state university is a co-educational institution with its attendance about half boys and half girls, to send 52 per cent of its students to the war would mean leav ing a remnant of none but girls. The trouble is that the World-Herald has ignorantly juggled the figures. It has compared the enrollment on opening day to the total enrollment for the whole previous year. The official report of the registrar is that the enrollment last Saturday was 2,057 against 2,557 the year before, a decrease of only 20 per cent. This is bad enough, or good enough, according to the point of view, but it thoroughly refutes the foolish talk of a 52 per cent shrinkage. Wheat and "the Flour Supply. Something of a flurry has been occasioned in the east by rumors of a flour shortage, but au- thorities deny that occasion for such reports ex ist, In New York the food administrator's agents, to make sure that no local suffering would be en tailed, commandeered 70,000 barrels df flour des tined for exportation and the further announce ment is made that steps will be taken to in sure supplies ample for. home requirements before any js sent abroad. Basis for the rumors is found in the fact that the farmers are- not pouring their wheat onto the market as has been customary. This may be accounted for easily enough. No urgent reason exists for the farmers to rush their grain to the elevators. The price has been fixed and is not subject to fluctuation and there fore 'is eliminated entirely as cause for marketing. Farmers, have plenty of money to meet pressing needs and moreover have a much more impor tant task to engage them at present that of seed ing for next year's crop. Good weather for plant ing and shortage of farm labor combine to make it imperative that nothing be put off in order to haul grain to town." We have plenty of wheat to feedi all, the mill will not stop arid all will be attended to in order. Just now the most im portant business on the American farm in the win ter wheat belt is fall planting. ' "Pancho" Villa Pleads for Peace. Emerging from the obscuration cast upon him by the shadow of more , momentous things, "Pancho" Villa, bandit chieftain and leader of Mexican marauders, is heard from again, and this time in complaint. He sends a letter to the Car rania general, who has harrassed him withlhe laudable intent of disposing of him for good, in which he asks for amnesty and begs to be let alone in peace. In support of his plea ViUa cites his service to the Carranza cause, claims credit for the overthrow of Huerta and sets dp that he is a valuable citizen, worth too much to Mexico to be wasted by hanging. No one should be aston ished if in the end this unlovely ruffian, as a re ward ior his outlawry, be given no less than permission to end his days in quiet His out rageous disregard for all laws of God o man, his fiendish brutality and inconceivable cruelty well deserve punishment, but the weakness of the Mexican government may prove his salvation. , Can Our President Visit the Trenches? It may be a little early to cotnmence worrying over the point, but sooner or later we will hear much discussion over whether our constitution permits the president to visit the American army jn the trenches in France, traditionally, he will be forbidden to do so, although nothing in ' our fundamental law forbids his going beyond the boundaries of the United States. No president has ever traveled abroad, although' one president of the United States once went so far as the divid ing line and reached across to greet the president of Mexico who stood on the other side of the in ternational mark. Rulers of our allies habitually visit the front, and both 'Emperor William and Emperor Karl are continually going about to in spect their armies. It may seem a little odd fori the president of the United States, the constitu tional' commander of the greatest force the re public ever had under arms, to be denied the op portunity to call on the soldier's in the field. If it is deemed desirable or necessary Mr. Wilson will find a way for getting around this precedent as he has so many others since he entered the White House. When the price to be paid, for meals for pris oners was based on a 'jail population in excess of 100, no one had the slightest idea the number would tver fall below that mark in this county. The whole theory of the law making a fixed price for jail feeding, however, is wrong. The law should be revised so the sheriff woutd furnish the prisoners with food according to specifications and the county pay the bills direct, without any intercepted profit. , , The spectacle of yung men gathering in camps for1 active service should inspire stay-at-homes with a dcepe; and more energetic spirit of national sacrifice. Various practical works are available to show our zeal and help via the war. Styles in the Army By Frederic J . Hcskin Washington, Sept 17. Since American troops nave gone to t ranee and a large portion ot the male population at home has gone into khaki many changes have been suggested in the army uniform. General Hugh L. Scott, chief of staff of the army, is in favor of changing the present upstanding collar to the rolled type worn by French and British soldiers. From France comes the recommendation that the army overcoat be shortened from ankle to knee length in order to facilitate the movements of men in the trenches, while in this country there is much objection to the leather puttees. These are not the only changes that have been sugpested in the uniform. There have been hun dreds, for a while they came so thick and fast and there was so much quarreling and discussion over them that Secretary Baker was compelled to remind the officers that the duty of the army was to win the war and not to complain about its clothes. And, to settle the matter, he announced that there would be no changes in the uniform during the period of the war. Since then the secretary appears to have modi fied this order to read, "unless any Important rec ommendations are received from General Per shing." So it is now up to Pershing. If he de cides in favor of the rolled collar, the short coat and the elimination of puttees the army wilhget them not before. Every time the subject of a change of uni form comes up at the War department a couple of ancient and valuable volumes are dragged out of a safe on the top floor and carefully con sulted. These volumes contain the history of the American army, uniform from the days of its in fancy, when it was but a pink or green cockade worn in the hat, to the time of the Spanish-American war, when the dignified splendor of its dark blue coat with black silk frogs was changed to khaki. ' It is a mortifying and at the same time a ore- cious fact that the sons of the revolution had no official uniforms. It was all they could do to ob tain ordinary clothes and sometimes even these were painfully lacking, as everyone who has ever heard of Valley Forge knows. Before 1775 the various states provided uniforms for their few soldiers, which were usually the reel coats and hats of the British army, but naturally at the out break of the revolution these were immediately discarded. As usual, the continental congress was insoired by good intentions, but lacked the money to carry them out. It passed a resolution to provide cloth ing for the soldiers out of their own wages and to dye that clothing brown, but apparently the resolution fell through. Doubtless the soldiers preferred to buy their own clothes. Soon after this the continental congress evidently got hold of some money somewhere, hecause its clothes provisions became much mote generous and ef- tective. It dealt not with details such as hunting shirts and leggings, but provided whole outfits at a time, consisting of two linen hunting shirts. two pairs of overalls, a leathern or woolen waist coat with sleeves, one pair of breeches, a hat or leathern cap, two shirts, two pairs of hose and two pairs of shoes. Later, in 1777, there is mention of an artil lery uniform of dark blue, trimmed and button holed with yellow silk, but apparently this be longed to only a fortunate few who were able to afford it out of their own pockets. When the gaily clad British surrendered at Yorktown they murched between lines of Americans tattered and unkempt, clothed largely in rags and enthusiasm. The war won, congress decided to retain one reciment of infantry and two companies of ar tillery in case of an emergency, and these were clothed as befitted their station. The infantry man wore a dark blue uniform with whife fac ings and a white lining, a black cocked hat with a white binding and black plume, white wc,rstei shoulder knots silver in tHe case of officers and a white cross belt. His coat was trimmed with white buttons and he wore black gaiters and an irilpressive black stock. The artilleryman also wore a dark blue uniform, but trimmed with red and yellow where the infantryman's was white. His epaulettes were of yellow worsted and gold in the case of officers, -while his hat was the most unusual that ever made its appearance in American history. It was a brass helmet cov ered with long white horse hair that, fell about the head and almost concealed the features. r t a y Right In the Spotlight. The crown princess. Cecllle. who will some day be empress of Germany u tne war does not upset the Hohen zollern dynasty, celebrates her thlrty first birthday anniversary today. She was born a princess of the house of Mecklenbure-Schwerin. her father be ingr the reigning grand duke and her mother a Russian grand duchess. There was genuine rejoicing in Ger many wnen me young princess was married to the crown prince, Freder Iclt William, in 1905. Six children have been born to the yoang couple. xne crown princess is tali ana grace ful and always dresses with great ele. gance. Besides attracting the Ger man people with these worldly charms, she has won their enduring esteem and etiection for her admirable qualities as a wire and mother. One Year Ago Today in the War. German-Bulgarian invasion of the Dobrudja reported to have- been checked. ' Bulgars attacked and drove back both flanks of the Anglo-French line in northern Greece In Omaha Thirty Years Ago Today. Lucius Wakeley, son of Judge Watte- jey, nas announced his engagement to Miss Helen Weeks of Whitewater, Wis. The two-story frame boarding house Kepi dv airs. w. ii. Jones near the 2a nrr&Fm corner of Sixteenth and Davenport was naaiy damaged by fire. The property was owned by John I. Redlck. Robert Vierling of Paxton & Vier llng has gone to Chicago on a matter of business. His firm has secured' the contract for the iron work on the New York Life Insurance building, Seventeenth and Farnam. Simeon Bloom, the attorney, has gone to Cincinnati t attend the mar riage oi nis sister. Charles Edgerton has gone to Chi cago on business. Ellen Carey filed a suit In the dis trict court against the city of Omaha. sne asKea ror judgment or ssoo for damages to her property at the south east corner of Twelfth and Pacific by the grading of the former street The Policemen's Relief Fund asso ciation was organized at the board of trade rooms. The incorporators were W. W. Lowe, D. T. Mount I. W. Gannett J. C. Wilcox, E. Rosewatef, Otto Lobeck, Martin Quick and G. M. Hitchcock. M. E. Edleblut. who succeeded Mr. Hilton as pastor of the South Omaha Methodist Episcopal church, delivered an elegant sermon. When the ration again went to war with Great Britain, in 1812, riflemen for the first time wore uniforms of gray instead of dark blue, favored eVer since the revolution. This was doubtless because the British blockade along our coasts prevented the importation of blue cloth from Europe. However, gray became very popu lar in this branch of th,e service, was worn for years after the war and is still worn by West Point today. The regular officer's uniform of this period, though, -was a dark blue single-breasted coat, em broidered in front, reaching to the waist and ta pering into long tails at the back, ornamented with yellow buttons and a black leather Waist belt, white or buff riding breeches with four buttons on the knee and gilt knee, buckles and a plain cocked hat without plume or feather. This was the most ornamental period of our military history. Gold lace, gold epaulettes and gold sword hilts were the fashion in some branches of the service; hats of all shapes, sizes, colors and feathers were worn in Others and boots were made with an absolute recklessness as to leather which would chock the boot manufacturers of today. ; . i ' Needless to say, with all these brilliant gar ments the American soldier of 1812 was an ex cellent target for any enemy, who couldn't help seeing him, but inasmuch as the enemy was usu ally just as brilliantly arrayed the chances were about even. This tendency for picturesque and conspicuous dress continued up until a very re cent period in our history. In 1821 the War de partment announced that dark blue was the na tional color and should thereafter be worn both by officers' and enlisted men," unless special or ders were given to the contrary, but this did not prevent the liberal use of reds and yellows for trimming. Crimson sashes that could be seen a mile off were especially popular. Not until the Mexican war did the American uniform become more comfortable than ornamental and this was only while the actual military campaigns lasted, ft was dark blue, with a short jacket very simi lar to the khaki one in use today; the trousers were loose and fell over the boots and the caps were of the visor type, made of leather, and fas tening with a strap which came under the chin. Gradually through the years the army uni form has become less ornate and more adapted to the needs of war. Since the civil war the changes in the uniform have been very few, with the exception of the leather puttees and the new khaki color. The latter was borrowed from England, which first adopted the color in its work of colo nizing tropical countries. It was found that khaki color which is an Indian word meaning "color of ashes and roses" was not easily distinguished at a distance and the military value of this fea ture was just beginning to dawn upon the army. People and Events "The Sons of Jonadab" flocked into Washing ton the other day and pulled off a ghost dance around the bier of King Alcohol. Besides, they celebrated the fiftieth anniversary of the order. The gathering is another sign of the growing dis respect for crazy kings. One division of the National Council of De fense stages a hide-and-seek engagement that promises interesting results. It is -known that speculators are hiding the hides, creating an ar tificial scarcity of sole leather and squeezing shoe makers to the limit Council ferrets are follow ing the cow hide tracks in the large cities and ex- pect ere long to jar the grip of profiteers. After shoe leather does its customary job the Depart ment of Justice contemolates cauterizing the sore soots. . i This Day in History. 1797 United States frigate Consti tution, known as "Old Ironsides," launched at Boston. 1800 Henry S. Foote, who was Jef ferson Davis' bitterest opponent in the confederacy, born at Farquier, Va. Died at Nashville, Tenn., May 20, 1880. 1838 Wilburn B. Hall, who com manded the first war vessel to carry the confederate flag, born in Fairfield district South Carolina. 1854 The British, French and Turkish allies defeated the Russians at battle of Alma. 1863 General Rosecrans entered Chattanooga after a severe engage ment. 1879 General Grant was received at San Francisco on his return from his trip around the world with a grand procession and public ceremonies. 1881 Marriage of the crown prince of Sweden (now King Gustav) and Princess Victoria of Baden. . 191 Thirty-two thousand Cana dian volunteers left Halifax for Eng land. 1915 Severe German bombardment of French positions about Arras. The Day We Celebrate. Fred G. Moore was born In La Porte, la., forty years ago. He was educated at Dixon college and Drake university and is now secretary of the Yetter-Moore Wall Paper company. Countess Aileen Roberts, daughter of the late Lord Roberts, th4 famous British general, born forty-seven years ago today. Charles A. Prosser, who Is to have charge of the new United States , vo cational bureau, born at New Albany, Ind., forty-six years ago today. Herbert Putnam," librarian of the library of congress, born In New York City fifty-six years ago today. Upton Sinclair, well-knoWn author and socialist born in Baltimore thir-'ty-nlne years ago today. - Timely Jottings and Reminders. Today Is the 140th anniversary of the massacre of Paoli, one of the most memorable events of the American revolution. The problem of farm labor will be one of the subjects discussed at the convention of the American Associa tion of Public Employment Officers, meeting today at Milwaukee. Italians the world over, and espe cially in the United States, will ce.le brate with unusual fervor today the great anniversary of Italian union and liberty under a native royal house. Secretary of the Treasury McAdoo, Governor John J. Cornwell of West Virginia and Herbert Quick of the fed eral farm loan board are scheduled as speakers at the annual convention of the West Virginia Bankers' asso ciation, which begins its sessions to day at White Sulphur Springs. The case of the railroads of Texas against the'state attorney general seek ing a restraining order to prevent the attorney general's department from prosecuting a suit to enjoin the collec tion by the roads of the differential rates in west Texas as provided by the Interstate Commerce commission Is set for final hearing before three federal judges in Austin today. Storyctte of the Day. - v - ' There was some speculation as to whether the instrument would benefit the old gentleman or not One was holding the ear trifmpet, while an other was explaining its use and show ing old Mr. Shortcash how to hold it to his ear. " "Say something to him through it Binks," said one to the other. Now Binks had long waited for an opportunity to reach Mr. Shortcash'a ear, so, speaking -very distinctly into the trumpet he said: "You've not paid me that 15 you owe me yet Mr. Shortcash." But the old gentleman put the in strument down with disappointment on his face and they could see it was a failure, even before he had time to say: . ' "That -thing's not a bit of use to me." And he sighed, but his sigh was not so deep as that which came from Binks. Chicago Herald. ' HERE AND THERE. -Lions and tigers, and all the eat tribe, dread and detest rain. As a means of preserving tba memory of members of parliament who have fallen in the war, it i proposed to place rtameplates on the back of the seats thsjr bad in the House ot Commons. ' Tba youthful shah of Persia has an amas ing array of titles, ranging from "King of Kings" to sueh poetical attributes as "The Rose of Delight," "The Branch of Honor," and. "The Mirror of Virtue." aw "So, Xot In Omaha. Schuyler, Neb., Sept 18. To the Efditor of The Bee: As it is rumored in our city that there are Belgian chil dren in Omaha at the present time who had their hands cut off and other wise mutilated by the German soldiers in Belgium, would you please be good enough to Inform me if this is a fact or fabrication, and, If a fact, where they can be seen. J. B. STEWART. Ans. We know of no mutilated Belgian children here in Omaha, Xo Room for Half Loyalty. Minden, Neb.. Sept 17. To the Editor of The Bee: In your Sunday issue you reprint a letter from a Rev. Mr. Hammer of Millard, Neb. It seems the old Bee has been eting ing the kaiser and that the above gen tleman orders his paper stopped as a punishment for your loyalty to your country in not barring public opinion from your columns. I have lived in Minden twenty-five years and I do not believe that we have a German citizen who is a fair specimen of our intelligent German citizenship that would even thmk of having a newspaper discontinued be cause the editor was good and strong In his loyalty to the United states. We may have a very few unedu cated Germans in this county who do not understand the situation that might get their patriotic coats on wrong side out but none of our Intel llgent Kearney county German people would think of going against their homes and breaking their oath tor a one-man country that most of them left in poverty years ago. We are either for or against the United States; there is no half loy alty. We are either true American citizens or we are traitors loving some other flag more than we do Old Glory, the true emblem of freedom and prog ress. I was at first Just a little pfo-Ger-man, but after we detected that the German government actually had spies, and one might almost say thugs, right under the dome of our capitol I soon realized that my sym pathy had been badly misplaced. In the language of the president I want to call the attention of the Rev. Mr. Hammer to the fact "that wehave no quarrel with the German people." Our auarrel is with the kaiser, as he is the whole German government to put it short and correct A fair-minded person can only say, "God pity the poor people of Ger manv." Americans do not hold the 'German people responsible for the many beastly things perpetrated by the German officers nor for all or any of the German intrigue, but the Ger man government and the kaiser we do hold responsible, and in the language of the Courier-Journal we can only say, "To hell with the kaiser." J. H. CLEARMAN. SUNNY GEMS. Mrs. Meekton Henry, are you afraid to co downstairs and face that burglar? Meekton Afraid? Certainly not; but you know, my dear, how I bate to meet perfect strangers. Boston Transcript. The Scot (in confining mood) Mon, 1'vi been a reckless-young deevtl In me day. I had a fine chanco In Hfe an' wasted it An auld aunt died and left me (Ive pound, tn' would ye beleeve It, mon? I'd blewcd the whole lot la seven years! Sketch. "Why did our forefathers fix it so that a congressman la elected for only two years? Seems a short term." "Yes, but the wise old owls probably figured that the average congressman could tell all ho knew In that length ot time.'" Baltimore American. "Does your wife mine tie hall when you are out late?" "Not exactly, but she blows me up wher I come in!" Puck. Patience Peggy aays she has no faults. Patrice Well, she has, but she's clever enough to cover them up. How does she' manage It? Wears a very heavy veil. Tonkers State-man. Hoyle Doyle Is autng his wife for bread of promise. Boyle For breach of promise hoyle Tes, she promised to divorce him but now she has backed out! Town Topics THRESHER'S AUTUMN SONG. For fourteen years through thick and thin, I know Just what It means To thresh the (armer'a grain for him. And share his pork and beana. And that is why I pen these lines About the threBhers hum And listening to Its lovely purr, I Just could not keep mum. . I like the buzzing busy bees; The songs of singing birds 1 like the chorus of the fields; The lowing of the herds. But of the numerous sfralns that find Responses In my breast. The singing of the cylinder Is what I like the best. I like to hear our splendid band V'pon our streets at night The singing of our village choir Just fills me with delight. ' But flutes may pipe and bugles call. With mnsln'n strain atnre Give me tho thresher's autumn iong. i n ass ior notning more. The honking of the Jitney Ford Upon Its daily round The chugging of its cylinders; No music there la found. ' But still it gets there just the same; And thousands In It ride Quite often it's a congressman; Perchance a "blushing bride." Some sing Its pralsea to th akies; While others It deride- But, sayt That thresher' hum to ma la muslo glorified. Rushvllle, Neb. H. O. MOR8B. - "Have you a tank in this building?" asked the Inspector from the Insurance company "We hov." admitted the janitor. "What's the capacity?" "Begorra. Ol dunno. OI nlver tratctf him." Boston Transcript. "What ship Is that and Where's she bound?" roared ths skipper of the Sappho. "Never mind where we're bound!" roared back the Bkipper of the, craft to windward. And don't call thia ship 'she!' This is the mall boat." Detroit Saturday night. - Mr. Tucker had unexpectedly come face to face with Mr. Cutting, from whom ho had frequently borrowed money. "Er aw what was the denomination of the bill you loaned me?" he asked nerv ously. "Episcopalian, I guess," said Mr. Cutting. "At any rate, it keeps Lent very well." New York American. ""What do you want ehock absorbers for, you never drive off the paved streets?" "Haven't you noticed how the girls are dressing this year?" Houston Post. "Can any little boy," asked . the new teacher, "tell me the difference between a lake and an ocean?" " "I can," replied Edward, whose wisdom had been learned from experience. "Lakes are much mors pleasant to swallow when you fall in." London Tit Bits. Eaplelgh I say, doctah, If I were to lose my mind, would I ah be aware of it my self, you know? Doctor Tou would not notice the differ ence, nor would any of your friends. Boston Transcript. f The only living commoner who has en joyed tha honor of 'having hit portrait painted by a member of tha British royal family is M. Paderewskl, the famous pianist. The picture in question was painted by Princess Louise, to whom th pianist gave three sittings of two hours each. 1000 Rooms 700 with Bath A cuisine which has made the Astor New York's leading Banqueting place. 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