THE BEE: OMAHA, THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 20, 1917.
The Omaha Bee
DAILY (MORNING) EVENING -r SUNDAY
FOUNDED BY EDWARD ROSEWATER
VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR
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AUGUST CIRCULATION
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Amege (irealatlm for the nmatk subscribed sad taora ta Of Dwlgbt
WUUeata, Olieulatloa Msatter.
Subscriber leaving the city should have Tba Baa aaafl!
to them. Addreee c honied aa oftoa aa requested.
America first in thought as well as in words
and deeds. , . -.
Nebraska's pride and confidence follow her
sons wherever duty -calls.
But, if a hotel excluded all "cats," how could
it hope to be a popular hostelry?
Ak-Sar-Ben is only a week offl Let all loyal
subjects take heed and be prepared.
Get your money ready for more Liberty bonds.
Uncle Sam must have it to help win the war. ,
If Washington is fully awake to its opportuni
ties a city census is the first order of business.
Looks as if all our local governing bodies had
also been infected with the money-spilling conta
gion. ; " ' , ' '
Universal military service is a success because
Us foundation is the same foundation that de
mocracy rests upon.
Master bakers, it is said, laugh at the idea of
a 5-cent bread loaf. A 5-cent loaf would make
some of us laugh, too.
Cheer them on 1 Omaha's quota of the na
tional army reflects the soul of patriotism and
the loyal iptrit of the home town.
France's war bill to date totals $20,600,000,000.
Moreexectition has been done with the money
than any other nation can boast of. ' 1
The householder doesn't care who owns the
coal yard so long as the price and the service
are right If the coal man woftjt, the munici
pality can.-
Truth wraps a stout arm around the judf
cial statement that the dry law is not on trial.
Not by a jugful. . It's the fellow who monkeyed
with the corks. i
Some of our juries may be reluctant to send
bootleggers to jail, but injunction against prop
erty used as bootlegging'joints is held by no such
conscientious scruple. (
The evil germ of the deficit insinuates itself
into the recreation department. Til pity 'tis trufr.
Recreation .loses much of its Joy when the till
emits a hollow sound.
A large number of pretended patriots imagine
they hoodwink the crowd white working s the
Barnum motto: "Get money, honestly if you can,
but get money., ' ,
: Co-ordinating various national forces for war
encounters little serious obstruction down the
lines. Difficulties appear mostly at the founts of
power.-If the big heads of the government co
ordinated more efficiently the country would be
spared the inconsistency of one branch appealing
for greater food production and another branch
drafting from the farms help essential to saving
the crops ia sight." .
The kaiser takes the world into his confidence
long enough to say that he made no offers of
separate peace to' the United States, That was
some time ago : Had he then known how ear
nestly Nebraska Indians were whetting knives
for a scalp dance at Potsdam his , voice would
sound a different note. Now the worst is to
corned ;
In promoting Bishop John H. Tihen of the
Catholic diocese Of Lincoln to the vacant see W
Denver church authorities show deserved appre
ciation of progressive zeal, unifying service and
intellectual fitness. Bishop Tihen poured the oil
of peace and g6od will into innumerable church
wounds when he took charge of the Lincoln dio
cese, turned discords into churchly harmonies
and infused healthy cO-Operation among his flocks.
A larger field befits his abilities. ;
A Nation Going to School
-St Leul Cloba-Demecrat-
This has been in the United States a year of
popular education on a great scale and many new
lines. Military training, thrift gardening, conser
vation of food, strengthening of army and navy
along the line of universal service, aviation, im
proved gunnery, the raising and appropriation of
money on the billion scale, are some of the
branches in course of inculcation, in a general
way the subject of study is national preparedness.
It is evident that we must be ready to cope with
a powerful enemy that can find excuses for re
sorting to ruthlessness cultivated as a science in
so-called efficiency. Destructiveness in new forms
may be turned loose upon us. We must be able to
cope with them or face the certainty that if we do
' not master this new education we .must expect to
wear a yoke that will signify the end of free
'government Such submission is unthinkable to
: Americans. We have taken up all these studies
manfully. We do not lack men( or ships, or money.
' We are eager to learn and inspired by a cour
' ageous epiwt of patriotic sacrifice, come what will.
Practically, American -women, as well as men,
are equally informed ai to what is at stake. Our
: immensely broadened military training is not-mili-taristn.
It is opposed to a militarism that has
drenched the world in blood, and. temporarily
i weighted down civilization with a hideous waste
of hfe and. property. We are fighting, and spend
ing a vast treasure, we are drilling and marching,
to end such militarism forever. For thu accom
plishment -we are busy ami willing pupils. We
hope to get a diploma tn building a better founda
, tion for a more enduring righteous peace than
mankind has yet known. We will prove to be apt
scholar. Ho fear as- to that..
Preparing for Next Liberty Loan.
Machine -y is now being set ift order for the
flotation of the immense bond issue involved in
the next Liberty loan. The details of the issue
will be explained when the proposition is laid be
fore the public. What most is sought is to con
tinue the popular interest in the national loan.
The result of the first drive was highly satisfac
tory, but it must be considerably improved in
order to maintain the record. More than three
million purchasers then subscribed for three bil
lions of bonds, of which only two billions were
allotted. If the experience of England and Ger
many is to be repeated on this side the coming
issue will have to bring out proffers from at least
six million purchasers.
' The appeal in support of the bonds is most
powerful. Not only is patriotism touched, but
good business instinct. The investment is the
soundest possible, supported by the best secu
rity known to man and with a reasonable return
in income absolutely sure. All the arguments ad
vanced in the original campaign still hold good,
with the addition of what has since been learned
by experience. One of the most impressive of
the newer arguments is that we have now eight
hundred thousand men under arms and six hun
dred thousand 'more in training. These must be
supported and subscription to the Liberty loan
is an excellent method for enlisting the dollars
of the country behind its soldiers.
The State University and the War.
All will agree that the University of Nebraska
is doing it,s full share to meet the war responsi
bilities put upon it and must naturally suffer a
shrinkage in its student body as a .result of war
activities. It deserves three rousin cheers which
should be given with a vim, but it is not neces
sary to induce the cheering by flagrant misrepre
sentation that would lead people to believe the
university to be operating this year with only
half its iusual attendance. Our wonderful con
temporary, the World-Herald, tries ,to make out
that "this great splendid school find's its enroll
ment decreased 52 per cent this year because of
the war. Remembering that our state university
is a co-educational institution with its attendance
about half boys and half girls, to send 52 per
cent of its students to the war would mean leav
ing a remnant of none but girls. The trouble is
that the World-Herald has ignorantly juggled
the figures. It has compared the enrollment on
opening day to the total enrollment for the whole
previous year. The official report of the registrar
is that the enrollment last Saturday was 2,057
against 2,557 the year before, a decrease of only
20 per cent. This is bad enough, or good enough,
according to the point of view, but it thoroughly
refutes the foolish talk of a 52 per cent shrinkage.
Wheat and "the Flour Supply.
Something of a flurry has been occasioned in
the east by rumors of a flour shortage, but au-
thorities deny that occasion for such reports ex
ist, In New York the food administrator's agents,
to make sure that no local suffering would be en
tailed, commandeered 70,000 barrels df flour des
tined for exportation and the further announce
ment is made that steps will be taken to in
sure supplies ample for. home requirements before
any js sent abroad. Basis for the rumors is found
in the fact that the farmers are- not pouring their
wheat onto the market as has been customary.
This may be accounted for easily enough. No
urgent reason exists for the farmers to rush
their grain to the elevators. The price has been
fixed and is not subject to fluctuation and there
fore 'is eliminated entirely as cause for marketing.
Farmers, have plenty of money to meet pressing
needs and moreover have a much more impor
tant task to engage them at present that of seed
ing for next year's crop. Good weather for plant
ing and shortage of farm labor combine to make
it imperative that nothing be put off in order to
haul grain to town." We have plenty of wheat
to feedi all, the mill will not stop arid all will
be attended to in order. Just now the most im
portant business on the American farm in the win
ter wheat belt is fall planting.
' "Pancho" Villa Pleads for Peace.
Emerging from the obscuration cast upon him
by the shadow of more , momentous things,
"Pancho" Villa, bandit chieftain and leader of
Mexican marauders, is heard from again, and this
time in complaint. He sends a letter to the Car
rania general, who has harrassed him withlhe
laudable intent of disposing of him for good, in
which he asks for amnesty and begs to be let
alone in peace. In support of his plea ViUa cites
his service to the Carranza cause, claims credit for
the overthrow of Huerta and sets dp that he is a
valuable citizen, worth too much to Mexico to be
wasted by hanging. No one should be aston
ished if in the end this unlovely ruffian, as a re
ward ior his outlawry, be given no less than
permission to end his days in quiet His out
rageous disregard for all laws of God o man, his
fiendish brutality and inconceivable cruelty well
deserve punishment, but the weakness of the
Mexican government may prove his salvation.
, Can Our President Visit the Trenches?
It may be a little early to cotnmence worrying
over the point, but sooner or later we will hear
much discussion over whether our constitution
permits the president to visit the American army
jn the trenches in France, traditionally, he will
be forbidden to do so, although nothing in ' our
fundamental law forbids his going beyond the
boundaries of the United States. No president
has ever traveled abroad, although' one president
of the United States once went so far as the divid
ing line and reached across to greet the president
of Mexico who stood on the other side of the in
ternational mark. Rulers of our allies habitually
visit the front, and both 'Emperor William and
Emperor Karl are continually going about to in
spect their armies. It may seem a little odd fori
the president of the United States, the constitu
tional' commander of the greatest force the re
public ever had under arms, to be denied the op
portunity to call on the soldier's in the field. If it
is deemed desirable or necessary Mr. Wilson will
find a way for getting around this precedent as he
has so many others since he entered the White
House.
When the price to be paid, for meals for pris
oners was based on a 'jail population in excess of
100, no one had the slightest idea the number
would tver fall below that mark in this county.
The whole theory of the law making a fixed price
for jail feeding, however, is wrong. The law
should be revised so the sheriff woutd furnish
the prisoners with food according to specifications
and the county pay the bills direct, without any
intercepted profit. ,
, The spectacle of yung men gathering in
camps for1 active service should inspire stay-at-homes
with a dcepe; and more energetic spirit
of national sacrifice. Various practical works are
available to show our zeal and help via the war.
Styles in the Army
By Frederic J . Hcskin
Washington, Sept 17. Since American troops
nave gone to t ranee and a large portion ot the
male population at home has gone into khaki
many changes have been suggested in the army
uniform. General Hugh L. Scott, chief of staff
of the army, is in favor of changing the present
upstanding collar to the rolled type worn by
French and British soldiers. From France comes
the recommendation that the army overcoat be
shortened from ankle to knee length in order to
facilitate the movements of men in the trenches,
while in this country there is much objection to
the leather puttees.
These are not the only changes that have been
sugpested in the uniform. There have been hun
dreds, for a while they came so thick and fast
and there was so much quarreling and discussion
over them that Secretary Baker was compelled to
remind the officers that the duty of the army was
to win the war and not to complain about its
clothes. And, to settle the matter, he announced
that there would be no changes in the uniform
during the period of the war.
Since then the secretary appears to have modi
fied this order to read, "unless any Important rec
ommendations are received from General Per
shing." So it is now up to Pershing. If he de
cides in favor of the rolled collar, the short coat
and the elimination of puttees the army wilhget
them not before.
Every time the subject of a change of uni
form comes up at the War department a couple
of ancient and valuable volumes are dragged out
of a safe on the top floor and carefully con
sulted. These volumes contain the history of the
American army, uniform from the days of its in
fancy, when it was but a pink or green cockade
worn in the hat, to the time of the Spanish-American
war, when the dignified splendor of its dark
blue coat with black silk frogs was changed to
khaki. '
It is a mortifying and at the same time a ore-
cious fact that the sons of the revolution had no
official uniforms. It was all they could do to ob
tain ordinary clothes and sometimes even these
were painfully lacking, as everyone who has ever
heard of Valley Forge knows. Before 1775 the
various states provided uniforms for their few
soldiers, which were usually the reel coats and
hats of the British army, but naturally at the out
break of the revolution these were immediately
discarded.
As usual, the continental congress was insoired
by good intentions, but lacked the money to carry
them out. It passed a resolution to provide cloth
ing for the soldiers out of their own wages and
to dye that clothing brown, but apparently the
resolution fell through. Doubtless the soldiers
preferred to buy their own clothes. Soon after
this the continental congress evidently got hold
of some money somewhere, hecause its clothes
provisions became much mote generous and ef-
tective. It dealt not with details such as hunting
shirts and leggings, but provided whole outfits
at a time, consisting of two linen hunting shirts.
two pairs of overalls, a leathern or woolen waist
coat with sleeves, one pair of breeches, a hat or
leathern cap, two shirts, two pairs of hose and two
pairs of shoes.
Later, in 1777, there is mention of an artil
lery uniform of dark blue, trimmed and button
holed with yellow silk, but apparently this be
longed to only a fortunate few who were able to
afford it out of their own pockets. When the gaily
clad British surrendered at Yorktown they
murched between lines of Americans tattered and
unkempt, clothed largely in rags and enthusiasm.
The war won, congress decided to retain one
reciment of infantry and two companies of ar
tillery in case of an emergency, and these were
clothed as befitted their station. The infantry
man wore a dark blue uniform with whife fac
ings and a white lining, a black cocked hat with
a white binding and black plume, white wc,rstei
shoulder knots silver in tHe case of officers
and a white cross belt. His coat was trimmed
with white buttons and he wore black gaiters and
an irilpressive black stock. The artilleryman also
wore a dark blue uniform, but trimmed with red
and yellow where the infantryman's was white.
His epaulettes were of yellow worsted and gold
in the case of officers, -while his hat was the
most unusual that ever made its appearance in
American history. It was a brass helmet cov
ered with long white horse hair that, fell about
the head and almost concealed the features.
r t a y
Right In the Spotlight.
The crown princess. Cecllle. who
will some day be empress of Germany
u tne war does not upset the Hohen
zollern dynasty, celebrates her thlrty
first birthday anniversary today. She
was born a princess of the house of
Mecklenbure-Schwerin. her father be
ingr the reigning grand duke and her
mother a Russian grand duchess.
There was genuine rejoicing in Ger
many wnen me young princess was
married to the crown prince, Freder
Iclt William, in 1905. Six children
have been born to the yoang couple.
xne crown princess is tali ana grace
ful and always dresses with great ele.
gance. Besides attracting the Ger
man people with these worldly charms,
she has won their enduring esteem and
etiection for her admirable qualities
as a wire and mother.
One Year Ago Today in the War.
German-Bulgarian invasion of the
Dobrudja reported to have- been
checked. '
Bulgars attacked and drove back
both flanks of the Anglo-French line
in northern Greece
In Omaha Thirty Years Ago Today.
Lucius Wakeley, son of Judge Watte-
jey, nas announced his engagement to
Miss Helen Weeks of Whitewater, Wis.
The two-story frame boarding house
Kepi dv airs. w. ii. Jones near the
2a nrr&Fm
corner of Sixteenth and Davenport
was naaiy damaged by fire. The
property was owned by John I. Redlck.
Robert Vierling of Paxton & Vier
llng has gone to Chicago on a matter
of business. His firm has secured' the
contract for the iron work on the
New York Life Insurance building,
Seventeenth and Farnam.
Simeon Bloom, the attorney, has
gone to Cincinnati t attend the mar
riage oi nis sister.
Charles Edgerton has gone to Chi
cago on business.
Ellen Carey filed a suit In the dis
trict court against the city of Omaha.
sne asKea ror judgment or ssoo for
damages to her property at the south
east corner of Twelfth and Pacific by
the grading of the former street
The Policemen's Relief Fund asso
ciation was organized at the board
of trade rooms. The incorporators
were W. W. Lowe, D. T. Mount I. W.
Gannett J. C. Wilcox, E. Rosewatef,
Otto Lobeck, Martin Quick and G. M.
Hitchcock.
M. E. Edleblut. who succeeded Mr.
Hilton as pastor of the South Omaha
Methodist Episcopal church, delivered
an elegant sermon.
When the ration again went to war with
Great Britain, in 1812, riflemen for the first
time wore uniforms of gray instead of dark blue,
favored eVer since the revolution. This was
doubtless because the British blockade along our
coasts prevented the importation of blue cloth
from Europe. However, gray became very popu
lar in this branch of th,e service, was worn for
years after the war and is still worn by West
Point today.
The regular officer's uniform of this period,
though, -was a dark blue single-breasted coat, em
broidered in front, reaching to the waist and ta
pering into long tails at the back, ornamented
with yellow buttons and a black leather Waist
belt, white or buff riding breeches with four
buttons on the knee and gilt knee, buckles and a
plain cocked hat without plume or feather. This
was the most ornamental period of our military
history. Gold lace, gold epaulettes and gold
sword hilts were the fashion in some branches of
the service; hats of all shapes, sizes, colors and
feathers were worn in Others and boots were
made with an absolute recklessness as to leather
which would chock the boot manufacturers of
today. ; . i '
Needless to say, with all these brilliant gar
ments the American soldier of 1812 was an ex
cellent target for any enemy, who couldn't help
seeing him, but inasmuch as the enemy was usu
ally just as brilliantly arrayed the chances were
about even. This tendency for picturesque and
conspicuous dress continued up until a very re
cent period in our history. In 1821 the War de
partment announced that dark blue was the na
tional color and should thereafter be worn both
by officers' and enlisted men," unless special or
ders were given to the contrary, but this did not
prevent the liberal use of reds and yellows for
trimming. Crimson sashes that could be seen
a mile off were especially popular. Not until the
Mexican war did the American uniform become
more comfortable than ornamental and this was
only while the actual military campaigns lasted,
ft was dark blue, with a short jacket very simi
lar to the khaki one in use today; the trousers
were loose and fell over the boots and the caps
were of the visor type, made of leather, and fas
tening with a strap which came under the chin.
Gradually through the years the army uni
form has become less ornate and more adapted to
the needs of war. Since the civil war the changes
in the uniform have been very few, with the
exception of the leather puttees and the new khaki
color. The latter was borrowed from England,
which first adopted the color in its work of colo
nizing tropical countries. It was found that khaki
color which is an Indian word meaning "color
of ashes and roses" was not easily distinguished
at a distance and the military value of this fea
ture was just beginning to dawn upon the army.
People and Events
"The Sons of Jonadab" flocked into Washing
ton the other day and pulled off a ghost dance
around the bier of King Alcohol. Besides, they
celebrated the fiftieth anniversary of the order.
The gathering is another sign of the growing dis
respect for crazy kings.
One division of the National Council of De
fense stages a hide-and-seek engagement that
promises interesting results. It is -known that
speculators are hiding the hides, creating an ar
tificial scarcity of sole leather and squeezing shoe
makers to the limit Council ferrets are follow
ing the cow hide tracks in the large cities and ex-
pect ere long to jar the grip of profiteers. After
shoe leather does its customary job the Depart
ment of Justice contemolates cauterizing the sore
soots. .
i
This Day in History.
1797 United States frigate Consti
tution, known as "Old Ironsides,"
launched at Boston.
1800 Henry S. Foote, who was Jef
ferson Davis' bitterest opponent in the
confederacy, born at Farquier, Va.
Died at Nashville, Tenn., May 20, 1880.
1838 Wilburn B. Hall, who com
manded the first war vessel to carry
the confederate flag, born in Fairfield
district South Carolina.
1854 The British, French and
Turkish allies defeated the Russians
at battle of Alma.
1863 General Rosecrans entered
Chattanooga after a severe engage
ment.
1879 General Grant was received
at San Francisco on his return from
his trip around the world with a grand
procession and public ceremonies.
1881 Marriage of the crown prince
of Sweden (now King Gustav) and
Princess Victoria of Baden. .
191 Thirty-two thousand Cana
dian volunteers left Halifax for Eng
land. 1915 Severe German bombardment
of French positions about Arras.
The Day We Celebrate.
Fred G. Moore was born In La
Porte, la., forty years ago. He was
educated at Dixon college and Drake
university and is now secretary of the
Yetter-Moore Wall Paper company.
Countess Aileen Roberts, daughter
of the late Lord Roberts, th4 famous
British general, born forty-seven years
ago today.
Charles A. Prosser, who Is to have
charge of the new United States , vo
cational bureau, born at New Albany,
Ind., forty-six years ago today.
Herbert Putnam," librarian of the
library of congress, born In New York
City fifty-six years ago today.
Upton Sinclair, well-knoWn author
and socialist born in Baltimore thir-'ty-nlne
years ago today. -
Timely Jottings and Reminders.
Today Is the 140th anniversary of
the massacre of Paoli, one of the most
memorable events of the American
revolution.
The problem of farm labor will be
one of the subjects discussed at the
convention of the American Associa
tion of Public Employment Officers,
meeting today at Milwaukee.
Italians the world over, and espe
cially in the United States, will ce.le
brate with unusual fervor today the
great anniversary of Italian union and
liberty under a native royal house.
Secretary of the Treasury McAdoo,
Governor John J. Cornwell of West
Virginia and Herbert Quick of the fed
eral farm loan board are scheduled
as speakers at the annual convention
of the West Virginia Bankers' asso
ciation, which begins its sessions to
day at White Sulphur Springs.
The case of the railroads of Texas
against the'state attorney general seek
ing a restraining order to prevent the
attorney general's department from
prosecuting a suit to enjoin the collec
tion by the roads of the differential
rates in west Texas as provided by
the Interstate Commerce commission
Is set for final hearing before three
federal judges in Austin today.
Storyctte of the Day. - v - '
There was some speculation as to
whether the instrument would benefit
the old gentleman or not One was
holding the ear trifmpet, while an
other was explaining its use and show
ing old Mr. Shortcash how to hold it
to his ear.
" "Say something to him through it
Binks," said one to the other.
Now Binks had long waited for an
opportunity to reach Mr. Shortcash'a
ear, so, speaking -very distinctly into
the trumpet he said:
"You've not paid me that 15 you
owe me yet Mr. Shortcash."
But the old gentleman put the in
strument down with disappointment
on his face and they could see it was
a failure, even before he had time to
say: . '
"That -thing's not a bit of use
to me."
And he sighed, but his sigh was not
so deep as that which came from
Binks. Chicago Herald.
' HERE AND THERE.
-Lions and tigers, and all the eat tribe,
dread and detest rain.
As a means of preserving tba memory of
members of parliament who have fallen in
the war, it i proposed to place rtameplates
on the back of the seats thsjr bad in the
House ot Commons.
' Tba youthful shah of Persia has an amas
ing array of titles, ranging from "King of
Kings" to sueh poetical attributes as "The
Rose of Delight," "The Branch of Honor,"
and. "The Mirror of Virtue."
aw
"So, Xot In Omaha.
Schuyler, Neb., Sept 18. To the
Efditor of The Bee: As it is rumored
in our city that there are Belgian chil
dren in Omaha at the present time
who had their hands cut off and other
wise mutilated by the German soldiers
in Belgium, would you please be good
enough to Inform me if this is a fact
or fabrication, and, If a fact, where
they can be seen. J. B. STEWART.
Ans. We know of no mutilated
Belgian children here in Omaha,
Xo Room for Half Loyalty.
Minden, Neb.. Sept 17. To the
Editor of The Bee: In your Sunday
issue you reprint a letter from a
Rev. Mr. Hammer of Millard, Neb.
It seems the old Bee has been eting
ing the kaiser and that the above gen
tleman orders his paper stopped as a
punishment for your loyalty to your
country in not barring public opinion
from your columns.
I have lived in Minden twenty-five
years and I do not believe that we
have a German citizen who is a fair
specimen of our intelligent German
citizenship that would even thmk of
having a newspaper discontinued be
cause the editor was good and strong
In his loyalty to the United states.
We may have a very few unedu
cated Germans in this county who do
not understand the situation that
might get their patriotic coats on
wrong side out but none of our Intel
llgent Kearney county German people
would think of going against their
homes and breaking their oath tor a
one-man country that most of them
left in poverty years ago.
We are either for or against the
United States; there is no half loy
alty. We are either true American
citizens or we are traitors loving some
other flag more than we do Old Glory,
the true emblem of freedom and prog
ress. I was at first Just a little pfo-Ger-man,
but after we detected that the
German government actually had
spies, and one might almost say
thugs, right under the dome of our
capitol I soon realized that my sym
pathy had been badly misplaced.
In the language of the president I
want to call the attention of the Rev.
Mr. Hammer to the fact "that wehave
no quarrel with the German people."
Our auarrel is with the kaiser, as he
is the whole German government to
put it short and correct
A fair-minded person can only say,
"God pity the poor people of Ger
manv." Americans do not hold the
'German people responsible for the
many beastly things perpetrated by
the German officers nor for all or any
of the German intrigue, but the Ger
man government and the kaiser we do
hold responsible, and in the language
of the Courier-Journal we can only
say, "To hell with the kaiser."
J. H. CLEARMAN.
SUNNY GEMS.
Mrs. Meekton Henry, are you afraid to
co downstairs and face that burglar?
Meekton Afraid? Certainly not; but you
know, my dear, how I bate to meet perfect
strangers. Boston Transcript.
The Scot (in confining mood) Mon, 1'vi
been a reckless-young deevtl In me day.
I had a fine chanco In Hfe an' wasted it
An auld aunt died and left me (Ive pound,
tn' would ye beleeve It, mon? I'd blewcd
the whole lot la seven years! Sketch.
"Why did our forefathers fix it so that
a congressman la elected for only two years?
Seems a short term."
"Yes, but the wise old owls probably
figured that the average congressman could
tell all ho knew In that length ot time.'"
Baltimore American.
"Does your wife mine tie hall when you
are out late?"
"Not exactly, but she blows me up wher
I come in!" Puck.
Patience Peggy aays she has no faults.
Patrice Well, she has, but she's clever
enough to cover them up.
How does she' manage It?
Wears a very heavy veil. Tonkers State-man.
Hoyle Doyle Is autng his wife for bread
of promise.
Boyle For breach of promise
hoyle Tes, she promised to divorce him
but now she has backed out! Town Topics
THRESHER'S AUTUMN SONG.
For fourteen years through thick and thin,
I know Just what It means
To thresh the (armer'a grain for him.
And share his pork and beana.
And that is why I pen these lines
About the threBhers hum
And listening to Its lovely purr,
I Just could not keep mum. .
I like the buzzing busy bees;
The songs of singing birds
1 like the chorus of the fields;
The lowing of the herds.
But of the numerous sfralns that find
Responses In my breast.
The singing of the cylinder
Is what I like the best.
I like to hear our splendid band
V'pon our streets at night
The singing of our village choir
Just fills me with delight. '
But flutes may pipe and bugles call.
With mnsln'n strain atnre
Give me tho thresher's autumn iong.
i n ass ior notning more.
The honking of the Jitney Ford
Upon Its daily round
The chugging of its cylinders;
No music there la found. '
But still it gets there just the same;
And thousands In It ride
Quite often it's a congressman;
Perchance a "blushing bride."
Some sing Its pralsea to th akies;
While others It deride-
But, sayt That thresher' hum to ma
la muslo glorified.
Rushvllle, Neb. H. O. MOR8B.
- "Have you a tank in this building?" asked
the Inspector from the Insurance company
"We hov." admitted the janitor.
"What's the capacity?"
"Begorra. Ol dunno. OI nlver tratctf
him." Boston Transcript.
"What ship Is that and Where's she
bound?" roared ths skipper of the Sappho.
"Never mind where we're bound!" roared
back the Bkipper of the, craft to windward.
And don't call thia ship 'she!' This is the
mall boat." Detroit Saturday night.
- Mr. Tucker had unexpectedly come face to
face with Mr. Cutting, from whom ho had
frequently borrowed money.
"Er aw what was the denomination of
the bill you loaned me?" he asked nerv
ously. "Episcopalian, I guess," said Mr. Cutting.
"At any rate, it keeps Lent very well."
New York American.
""What do you want ehock absorbers for,
you never drive off the paved streets?"
"Haven't you noticed how the girls are
dressing this year?" Houston Post.
"Can any little boy," asked . the new
teacher, "tell me the difference between a
lake and an ocean?" "
"I can," replied Edward, whose wisdom
had been learned from experience. "Lakes
are much mors pleasant to swallow when
you fall in." London Tit Bits.
Eaplelgh I say, doctah, If I were to lose
my mind, would I ah be aware of it my
self, you know?
Doctor Tou would not notice the differ
ence, nor would any of your friends. Boston
Transcript.
f
The only living commoner who has en
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The picture in question was painted by
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three sittings of two hours each.
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