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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (July 4, 1917)
THfc tffch: OMAHA, VVkUihSUAX, JULY. 4, lalT. The Omaha Bee DAILY (MORNING) EVENINGSUNDAY FOUNDED BY EDWARD ROSEWATER VICTOR EOSEWATER, EDITOR THE BEE PUBLISHING COMPANY. PROPRIETOR. Entered st Omaha poatofftce aa seeond-elsss matter. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION By Csrrter. B Msir Oslly end Sunday..... per nmoib, Se per year. J tlly wltioot 8unUj " .. J Boning and 8imU. " ? ,. J "J Ktening without 8und7 " S ., J ! Sunday Bsm (sol 0c 3 fto Btad noticw or ehaiiie of 'address or tmnulsrity la deliteiy to Omthe Be. CUrulUioB Department. REMITTANCE Knrtt h draft, nirat or postal order. Only J-pent stsaipi In miVm imII Wumi Pfil check, escept oa Oroaba and wtara eaehsnss. act aocertad. OFFICES. tji rv-.h.-Th. In Btilldini. (Htpaio renp """wa- IW Omaha-S31l N fu. Yort-m nrui aw. (Vmnril Khiffa-14 V. Mats St UwiS NewB Uneola Lull Ball din a. CORRESPONDENCE Address eoaanmii-stl'eis r!atln to news and editorial UU to Omaha Baa. Editorial Department. JUNE CIRCULATION 55,982 Daily Sunday, 50,986 Average dmlitk f the month subscribed and iwora to by Dwlfht Williams. ClrculaUon Manner. ' Subscriber leaving th elty ahmild hav Tha Baa mailed I thetn. Addraa change aa oftaa aa requested. fta Aa. k. of iwmmi Wsshlnitflo 733 14th St. N. W... No flag like Old Glory! Whatever you do, remember safety first. The Russian $team roller eem to be in pretty fair working condition again. v. ' Speaking of police department reorganization eventually, why not now? I In ancient Rome it was chariot races. Today it ii auto races. Tomorrow it will be airship races. . Independence Day Hope of Humanity. One l.andred and forty-one years ago today a little group of ardent patriots, filled with firm re solve after full and deliberate consideration of the course they planned, boldly restated a prin ciple, that of man's right to self-government. It was not a discovery on their part, but it sounded strange in the world of that time, devoted more than ever before to the doctrine of absolutism. The fruit of democracy had been slowly ripening in the new soil, where bold spirits had come to escape from conditions of the older civilization. Resolute men, whose souls had expanded under the skies of a new world and who had imbibed freedom's inspiration from their surroundings, sounded then the doom of tyranny. The success of their venture justified their hope and courage. A new banner was raised around which the oppressed of all the 'world might gather for protection and to it flocked all who would escape the domination of tyrants, petty or great, who claimed to rule by divine right. Its presence has been an inspiration and guide, till now the inalienable rights of man are recognized and enjoyed by three-fifths of the world's population. hat banner again flies over a nation in arms, embattled to ensure the perpetuation of the doc- triae it represents, and which only can be pre served by vigorous defense against attack from whatever source. Our freedom and that, of other peoples was bought at the price of blood shed by freemen, to whose example we are prepared to add by, similar sacrifice in a similar cause. Usurpation, tyranny and oppression must re treat before the allied forces of freedom and de mocracy. Old Glory still holds in its folds the hope of humanity and the Fourth of July will yet be given world-wide observation as the an niversary of the true birth of liberty for all man kind. . ' Well! Well! Well! What has City Commis sioner Parks done to the senator that he should be picked for the goat? French girls kiss American soldiers as they pass along the streets in Paris. Now watch the rush to the recruiting office! Please note, Mr Bryan, that your countrymen are still celebrating the Glorious Fourth which you predicted would be blotted from the calendar! Why "pick on" Omaha? Have we not enough troubles of our own that we" must be made to share 'also those of Iowa's bickering commu nities? ,..'' I Noting Uiicle Sam's success with his bond a1. t)Aah will temol the market with a $450,- 000 Issue. , This ought to be a real test of the city's credit right now. f Omaha's program for the day includes such an array of sporting events as looks like a aur feit Promoters might do better to string them out a little more. Omaha school teachers are not granted all iney asKeu ior in mq uiauci v jim.imu but get a substantial boost just the same, for which they will doubtless be proportionately thankful. v While Przemysl and some of its neighbors are likely to be restored to the news columns, it may ease the mind a little to know that Hsun Tung is the new Chinese emperor, but Chang Hsurt is the man who pulls the strings." Cuming county's assessment roll present's the novel showing of horses fattened in taxing value and autos shrunken almost to scrap pile terms. If this rule obtains throughout the state the auto is hopelessly doomed to the taxing dust of the horse. , May set a new record for railroad earnings, a 'total net revenue 'of more than $48,000,000 for May, over a million and a half above the 1916 k Tigures, which were the previous banner mark. This is one .reason why the general 15 per cent VI. . . . I . J increase in ircigni raics was ocnicu., Life insurance for the nation's defenders would ue a nne ining, u is oniy lair, nowever, mat me nation as a whole should provide the insurance -fund rather than put the whole, or part, ot the load on existing insurance companies, which are, in fact, merely trustees for their policy holders. The Fourth in Paris will mark an epoch in French and American history! A battalion of American troops marching with the Star and iiiifica in Hi uiuivuyiuaica is mvic man a heartening message to a stricken people. It is an assurance of ultimate victory guaranteed by ' representatives ot the world greatest democracy How Coal Barons' Work i Chkaf lavaatlntat Nam " On the day following the Waldorf conference of Pocahontas coal mine operators, January j, !.Vt, W. R. J. Zimmerman, secretary of the Smokeless Coal Operators' association, told the jury trying these men and their companies for conspiracy and violation of the sherman anti trust law' that he prepared for the operators a list of the immediate increases agreed upon. The kinds of West Virginia coal affected and the comparative, prices of the present year and last as he prepared them are as tollows: Increase V 1016. 1017. TVr Ton , Run of filne, tidewater.... $3.00 , $470 $1.75 Lump, and egg. 1.60 3.75 2.15 Slack , 1.25 3.00 1.75 Run of mine, connecting railways ,. 1.25 Lake lump and egg 1.70 Nut J.45 Pea , 1.25 1.75 2.05 Slack, lake...'... 1.15 2.05 1.75 3.00 3.75 3.50 3.00 3.00 1.85 Thus over night, after "inside" and "outside" men got together and "fixed" the price, coa jumped from 135 per cent! to 145 per cent higher Mr. Zimmerman, however, tried to inform the Jury that these rises in rates were td be put into enect because ot the aire straits in which the mine owners found themselves." What were these dire straits? A 10 per cent rise in wages had. been granted the miners and spikes had gone up a little. Labor being paid an average ot 51.65 a day. the 10 per cent in crease added exactly 16 cents. Miners produce on the average ten to fifteen tons a day, so that the actual increase to the operator on each ton ot coal was possibly 2 cents per ton. It was thi situation, so Mr. Zimmerman told the jury, that compeiiea mine operators 10 increase meir coai Irom Sl.70 to per ton. - . This week, one C M. Moderwell, another coal operator hailing from Chicago, who, by the way happens to be on the federal committee headed .by rrancis s. 1'eabody. admitted quite distn genuously before the senate investigating com t mittee. when asked how he could justify such in creases, that "the coal operator! are only human like men engaged in other businesses, and they have received the benehts onhe situation. Trans lated in other words, the coal men raised prices of coal to exorbitant figures simply because it was an easy way to make easy money. Why Not Call the Strike Off. So' far as visible effects are concerned, the re cent building trades strike in Omaha is a thing of teh past. Practically all of, the workmen -who were out are back on their jobs at acceptable wages and, in most cases, on terms arranged through their unions. Yet thi, strike is still on, nominally, in one or two lines, though to no purpose except to keep up the tension and ill feeling. Whenever wage4 workers have just cause or real grievance, as against theiremployers. The Bee will sympathize . with and support every legitimate effort to uphold labor rights, but when it becomes merely a tilt with windmills, the true friend of the workers will advise them to desist and make the best of the situation. Least satis factory of all is fighting a labor controversy out indefinitely in the courts because it only makes fees for the lawyers to be paid with money earned by the sweat of someone's brow. ' There is work ahead for all in Omaha and as for the strike just forget it! Race Riots at East St. Louis.' Viewed from any angle, the race riots at East St Louis are a most deplorable exhibition. Mob spirit, in which the most brutal passions of man's lower nature are loosed in insensate fury and un restrained ferocity, was here manifest in its worst phase. The outstanding feature of the whole spectacle is the absolute failure of the civil authorities to- meet the situation. Proper exercise of pojice power should have served to prevent the outbreak by nipping it in its incipi ency. Those who are charged with this respon sibility scarcely can plead ignorance of a condi tion that has threatened for many days. Trouble that culminated in riots a few weeks age had only been smothered and not quenched and the stupidest of police management would be blame worthy did it not keep a watchful eye. on .such a promising source of further disorder. A fearful mVavma M...a4'Aaf am ttt. v mn urliA hair i fiy1ht HJAigc iiiuat ttabj vit nib miiu ti,v gently permitted to exist conditions making pos sible the terribly disgraceful proceedings. The underlying cause can only be dealt with by the prudent, but determined, application of reason able restraint and the enforcement of familiar law. Racial antipathies should have no place in our domestic affairs and East St. Louis is not a locaj, but a national, source of shame at present. Women and the War I. Registration of Women B y Fredric J. Hask in Washington. July 1. National registration of women is "the latest feature of our war program. New York state has already made a military cen sus of women as well as of men. and this step is now being advocated for the whole country. It is also being opposed by a tew conservatives, on the grounds that it is unnecessary and expensive, but registration will doubtless be made state by state, if not by the national government. The proposition is significant in more ways than one. It is an official acknowledgment that women are an important factor in the political administration of the state. It appeals to the sense of duty of the women as American citizens. and, while some millions of them have as yet not been conceded the vote, they are none the 'less being called upon for service. And that latter step is prophetic of future suffrage changes, if the experience of England means anything. In all parts ot the country the women have mobilized for war work with the greatest of en thusiasm. In thousands of towns and villages they are sewing for the Red Cross, canning string beans and apricots, and drying peas and corn against the winter scarcity of Jood, while a tew are already filling the places of men who have left for military service. Proverb for the Day. Every man is his own doctor. One Year Ago Today In the War. Germans again captured Thiamont field work, near Verdun. French captured several villages in drive toward Peronne. Augustine Birrell, former chief sec retary for Ireland, blamed by royal commission for Irish revolt. The manufacturers, of course, are in favor of the registration of women so that they can pro cure feminine labor. So far a large part of the United States does not appear to realize what the war will mean. There is too great a tendency to believe that Germany is seriously threatened' by its food shortage, and rapidly losing submarines and territory. Our part of the war has begun, but it is only a beginning. In a few weeks actual conscription will begin, when, declare the manu facturers, there is going to be great commercial and industrial confusion. Moreover, it is the belief of the manufacturers that the war is going to last for a long time. Thus many of them are already preparing to train large numbers of women to take the place of enlisted men. Feminine labor has proved exceptionally satisfactory in Europe, despite many rumors to the contrary. Over three million women are working in the metal industries of Great Britain, and a like number in those of France. "We will require at least that many' additional women fac tory workers before this war is over," was the assertion of one manufacturer a few days ago. Insurance or Pension for Soldiers? The Council of National Defense is now. conT sidering one of the important questions of the war, what provision js to be made for the maimed I or crippieu soiqicr or jnc acpcuucnia o mc uu. The proposal that they .be insured is seriously put forward, offered in lieu of the pension system. One of the interested officers suggests the work men's compensation act easily may, be broadened to include the soldiers and sailors within its pro visions. Insurance companies, while offering to assist the 'government in carrying out any plan it may finally adopt, are chary about assuming any risk in the matter, only one making an offer that might be considered a bid. Insurance men realize more thoroughly than the public what is involved in the suggestion and none have expressed any desire to be allowed to take over the prospective business. It is an en tirety new field, in which their actuarial experi ence would be useless at a guide. Moreover, un less the rate was made exorbitant, it would cer tainly mean insolvency for the company that undertook to carry the risk. On the other hand, the duty of providing for the soldier or his de pendents is on the public entirely and ought not to be considered otherwise. The people are fight ing this war and should finance any plan of. re lief that may be adopted. Another factor that should have considerable weight in final determination of the question is that for the present at least care is being taken to enlist the services of those only wfio have no dependents. This may later be changed, but the first draft will include none who leave behind actual dependents. However, this should not op erate to relieve the government of its liability for pension, the provision being intended for present and not for future protection. About the only net result of the "bone dry" fight in congress so far noted is that distillers and brewers have been driven to buying ma terial in anticipation of what may happen, thus keeping up prices on grains. Food regulation might now be a Tact if it had not been held back by this division. Most people are more inter ested in the groeer's bill just now than they are in "moral" reforms. i - Eighty-seven interned German' ships have been added to the forces tightening the western sec tion of the iron ring around the neck of "Furor Teutonicus.,, On the eastern end the Russians are tightening loose bolts for safety sake: In thus taking up the slack the powers of democracy generously adjust the ring to the diminished ra tions of waning autocracy. More power to the squeeze. . . The work of women in time of war is divided broadly into two classes social and economic. The women of the working classes, deprived of a masculine income, must enter the factory and workshop in order to survive. Whether the United States government will institute a pension system for the dependents of soldiers, and how much that pension will be, are questions still to be determined, but in any event a large number of women will have to enter industry to live. In doing so they will be contributing to the economic assets' of the nation. They will be manufacturing the weapons of war. The planting and preservation of food 'and the prevention of waste also fall into the economic class. Women are canning and drying and salt- inir food this year, but their activities will be nothing compared to those which will be neces sary next year if the war continues, as all authori ties agree it almost inevitably will. Next year will have an advantage over this one, of course, in that the women will not have to be persuaded and taught. They will know how. There will also be greater system in the prevention of waste. Work of the social class is just as important as that of the economic class, and needs to be just as highly systematized. The Canadian women offer a striking example of this. Sewinsr classes must be organized to provide clothing for our soldiers and their families. Work of this sort has already been started by the Ked Cross, but there is room for a great deal more of it. Recreation must be provided in towns where there are training camps a feature to which great importance has been attached by the European belligerents. There will be in ever-growing de mand for women nurses.; And last, but not least. it will be the duty of every woman to see that the nation s childreri surfer as little as possible Thus, in registerinsr her name with the state; every woman should state the services for which she is best fitted, together with her responsibili ties, if any, which might interfere with their con tribution. Whether she serves in a munition tac tory, a Red Cross workshop, an army hospital, a settlement center or on a recreation committee, she will be doing her duty by the government a duty which in Russia and England has already been rewarded by the ballot. Probably very many women would have voted against war, had they been accorded the privilege, but ncw that it is here, it is recognized as a great ieminme oppor tunity. The situation is created. The rest is in the hands ot the women. ' The Kultur of , Deceit -Naw York World- In Omaha Thirty Years Ago. The Full Dress, a new saloon in the court in the rear of the Custom House, has Just been opened and By rnn Dark and J. II. McTaeue will receive their friends after 6 o'clock. Charlie Swinkey, Jim Jones and Sam Boston, three colored youngsters, were badly burned by a premature ex plosion of a sardine box full of pow der with which they were packing a The White Paper on "How the War Came to Aiherica" is the record on which history will weigh the blood-guilt of the German imperial gov ernment in compelling the American people to armed defense, r It is a consistent record. Germany meant war when she refused to enter into an arbitration treaty with us. She meant war, ruthless war, when at The Hague she blocked agreements for ameliorating war, or for , making it unnecessary by world courts. She meant war, the cruel war on non-combatants which the submarines are waging, when she issued her "peace note" last December. Appropriately dated a fortnight before Christ mas to stir the passionate longing for peace of men in the ranks, the vague German proposals were accompanied by threats against neutrals, especially the United States. These sinister con ditions were no secret, though now first officially described. From a "thousand sources." the authoritative recital runs, came warnings. "Unless the neutrals used their influence to bring the war to an end.'on terms dictated from Berlin," the "submarines were to be unleashed." And though the Zimmer mann disclosures came later, Washington already knew how Berlin "had its agents at work both in Latin America and Japan" to rouse anger against us to the fighting pitch. Autocracy talked peace. It plotted war. And so conviction grew that "until the German nation is divested of such rulers, democracy can not be safe!" What a comment it is upon the kultur of deceit that the very date of its "peace note" was the time when Washington became at last convinced that war was inevitable 1 Nebraska Press Comment Kearney Hub: Omaha's police scandal may be a great surprise to the people of Omaha, but it is taken very much as a matter of fact by the people of the state, who have been observing Omaha conditions from, the outside for a good many years. f ; Franklin News: Omaha's gift to the Red Cross totaled $251,252.49.' Omaha realizes the good that the Red Cross does, as more than $40,000 was spent by the Red Cross in Omaha three years ago, following the destructive tornado that visited the city. But Omaha usually returns a gift with interest, and this is,another evidence of the fact. York Republican: Now comes The Omaha Bee demanding in a loudaand racuous tone of voice a "coalition cabinet." The Bee argues that the European nations have all introduced that cus tom since the war began, and it thinks this coun try might profit by the example. , President Wil son is certainly more apt to be moved by that argument than by any other; he doU-s tn copying Lngland but the coalition ot coniederat and English-born statesmen who comprise his pres ent cabinet i about the kind of coalition that suits him best . . miniature magazine at the corner of Twelfth street and Capitol avenue. The boys were helped into the drug store of F. W. Fogg and their burns bathed and attended to. A little girl named Anna Wilson of South Tenth street was knocked down and bruised by one of the wagons in the procession in front of the exposi tion building. The little girl ran un der the horses' feet to get some adver tising cards lying pn the street. , Seth Cole of the Olympic theater was struck by a piece of cigar box in which had been placed a firecracker and In consequence carries a long red seam across his face. The pressmen, stereotypers and elec trotypers made the most attractive dis play in the parade, considering num bers, and one young lady on the cor ner of Sixteenth and Famam offered a messenger boy a dollar to ascer tain how mny of this craft were un married. A committee is now offering $10 for the photograph and address of this same young lady. The flag on Creighton college was the first to kiss the breeze in that section of the city on the Fourth. Dr. A. S. Billings has returned after a three months' vacation and is right on the job again doing dental work for Omahans. This Day in History. 1796-First settlement on the West ern Reserve begun at Conneaut, O. 1837 Cornerstone laid for the III nois state capitol at Springfield. 1848 President issued a proclama tion promulgating the treaty of peaco between the United States and Mexico. 1851 "Maine law," an act "to pro hibit drinking house and tippling shops," enforced first at Bangor. 1863 Vicksburg surrendered to Ceneral Grant. 1866 Emperor of Austria ceded Venetla to France and invited the French emperor's intervention with Prussia. 1867 Cornerstone laid for the Michigan soldiers' ' monument at De troit. 1888 Monument to Francis Scott Key unveiled in Golden Gate park, San Francisco. 1892 Paterson. N. J., celebrated the centennial of its settlement. 1894 The Hawaiian republic was proclaimed. The Day We Celebrate. Prince Frederick William, eldest son of the Prussian crown prince and heir presumptive to the German im perial throne, born eleven years ago today. Major Edward H. De AFmond, re cently appointed a member of the general staff of the United States army, born in Missouri thirty-nine years ago today. George M. Cohan, celebrated actor, playwright and manager, born at Providence, R. I., forty years ago to day. Clarence J. Owens; managing direc tor of the Southern Commercial con gress, born at Augusta, Ga., forty years ago today. John M. (Jack) Warhop, former pitcher of the New York Americans, now with the Baltimore International league team, born at Hlnton, W. Va., thirty-three years ago today. Timely Jottings and Reminders. One hundred and forty-first anni versary of the beginning of construc tion of the Erie canal. A total eclipse of the moon is scheduled for tonight, but will not be visible in any part of North America. A new compulsory, insurance law, applying to all workers except farm laborers and domestic servants, comes into effect today in New Jersey. Secretary of War Baker and Sen ator Wesley Jones of Washington are to be among the Independence day speakers in New York City today. Major James E. Monroe, a son of President James Monroe, will cele brate his 101st birthday anniversary today at his home in Richmond, Va. Mme. Sarah Bernhardt is to deliver a patriotic message ct the Independ ence day exercises at Prospect park, Brooklyn. It will be the first public appearance of the famous French actress since her recent illness. Paris has made elaborate prepara tions for a celebration of the American Independence day. A leading feature will be a reception at the American embassy, to be attended by General Pershing and the members of his staff. , A great military demonstration and historical pageant will be given today at McPherson, Kan., in connection with the unveiling of an equestrian statue of General James B. McPher son, in whose honor the town was named. 7 jrr jk NOTES OF WORLD WAR. Storyette of the Day. A learned counsel on the defend ant's side lost his temper, as well as his case, and remarked rudely to the opposing lawyer: "Why do you so often use the words 'also' and 'like wise?' .They both mean exactly the same, as far as I can see." "By no means," said the other. 'I'll show, you the difference by example. Our learned friend the Judge is a clever lawyer; you are a lawyer, also, but not likewise." New York Globe. WAKE UP. NEBRASKA! Nebraska, aay you're ready (or any foreign foe ; Say your aim la rlrar and ateady, to Uncle Sam will know. He needs you now, Nebraka, aa he never did bffor Waka up, wake up, Nebraska, your Vncle Sam's at war. Nebraska, how'a your powder t la It plentiful and dryT tet uh hear a little louder, our Kebraaka'a battle cry. Once before they railed your aoldlera, when the country was at war. Are yu ready now, Nebraaka, to head the call once more? Tha fife and drum once thrilled you when our nation needed men; Old Glory waved, and filled yon with a flahtlna sprit men.. One country, now, Nebraska, one flacworth fighting for. Waka up, wake up. Nebraska, your Uncle Sam a at war. Wakefield, Nebraska., It. D. A. Vnrealtiy of Evil. Omaha, July 3. To the Editor of The Bee: In a recent communica tion J. M. Holoday touches upon the Christian Science philosophy of good and evil as set forth in Mrs. Eddy's writings and amplified by writers in the various "Christian Science publi cations. That the theologians have always found the apparent presence of evil a hard problem serves only to intro duce the fact that until Mrs. Eddy embodied the idea of evil as unreal, as the only logical sequence flowing from the accepted fact as to the all ness of God, there never has been anything but muddled thought about evil. Granting the theological dogma that evil is as real as good, you are im paled upon the horn of making God, good, the author of evil, or the horn of admitting a devil who has as much capacity to create evil as God has to create good. Satisfy those two propo sitions or get rid of one of them, as Christian Science does, and you elimi nate the greater bulk of theological writings, commentaries and creeds. In the first chapter of the gospel of St. John we read: "All things were made by Him, and without Him was not anything made that was made," and in the first chapter of Genesis we find that "God saw everything that He had made, and, behold? it was very good." As Christian Scientists we cannot expect the public to demonstrate the unrealitjl of evil, which is, in fact, the supreme test and final proof de manded by the teachings of Mrs. Eddy, but we can ask the public to consider if possibly there is not some thing the matter with a system that first invites us to believe that God creates all things and that all that He made is good, and then asks us to believe In the reality of evil. In order then to accept good and evil as real we must contradict the scriptures that God's creation is good as well as deny that God made all things. Men and women of culture and sound judgment have found a soul satisfying haven in the Christian Science teachings as to the unreality of evil and it is our only purpose to invite such as so desire to investigate for themselves that perchance they, too, may find the scriptures illumi nated as well as harmonized. CARL E. HERRING. The howitser is the modern representa tive of the mortar, being! a short, light fun, eapable of firing' a heavy shell at low velocity. Officers of the United States marin corps, in relation to rank and pay. are oa the aame basis aa officers of similar rank in Ue United States army. A century ago several Americans began the building of a aubmarinc boat with as idea of using it in an attempt to rescue Napoleon from St. Helena. Cordite, the explosive used in many of the most powerful guns, is a mixture of nitroglycerine and gun-cotton, with a small percentage of vasseline. One of the first submarines constructed by John P. Holland, waa built in 18S1 .on order of the Fenian .brotherhood, which hoped to destroy with it the British navy. Robert Fulton waa building a large) armored submarine that was to carry a silent engine and a crew larger than that carried by the largest submarine of today, when hia plans were frustrated by his death in 1815. The first army Hospital in this country was established at Cambridge, Mass., soon after the battle of Bunker Hill, and was placed in charge of Dr. John Warren; a brother of the illustrious General Joseph Warren. , Wonders About Mlckcl. Omaha, July 3. To the Editor of The Bee: "There ain't no such ani mal." I'A. B. Mickel" is a name in fiction, a mythical form whose mythi cal sustenance must be absorbed through automatic, . involuntary, lazy functions and consist of ugly things not of this earth. Does It breathe? Then poisonous gases may be used for its irJation. And to think "it" got into Collier's or Into The Bee even for the amuse ment and shame of our good little Omaha. Or Is Mickel the stage name of some clever humorist successfully joking with us? Wouldn't it be splendid if this were so, in order that we might not have to sympathize so genuinely and cordially with Mrs. Mickel and all the Mickelettes. Bah! DISGUSTED. SUNNY GEMS. I.ady Reformer Don't yeu know, you unfortunate man, that liquor la a destroyer? Boozy Bill Dore's one t'Ing it don't de stroy, lady me thirst for it. Boston Tran-acrlpt.- "Generalf the enemy are upon us. Shall ws. give them battle or retreat?" "Don't bother me with such questions," -snapped the Senator turned soldier. "Sub mit it to a referendum. Baltimore American. "Does your office girl aeem to catch on as boy wouid?" "Practically, yea. She doesn't smoke cigarettes, but she has become Interested in baseball and learned to whistle." Detroit Free Press. F M MUSBrVW CATOS ME W 1WE ACT HnW0iqr TfcOUSm POCVvS,VNHAY - MRS CVWlfittr t9W rr - HE WAS no , "You farmers buy a good many gold bricks, eh?" ' "Yes. and you city fellers buy a good deal of swamp land. I guess thinga are about even.' Louisville Courier-Journal. Bacon Has your college conferred a de gree on you since you left It? Egbert It has not, and I don't want any more. f'What do you mean?" "I got enough. I got , the third degree while at college." Yonkera Statesman. "How many people were in the city at the time It was overwhelmed by the flood?" "That was hard to estimate on account of the large floating population." Balti more American. Vin Putter There ia one good thing about golf. De Orowche Well, I'm glad to know it, but I don't care to hear what it la. Judge. Physician Your case Is such, madam, that 'time alone will effect a cure. Mrs. Randall Then It Is hopeless, for I never have even five minutes. Life. "Dear one," he murmured, "do you love me yet?" A shiver shook the beautiful co-ed'a frame and she waa silent. "Speak, dearest; answer me," he Insisted. "Do you love me yet?" "Yes, George, I love you; but your gram mar Is rotten." Boston Transcript. LOUIS CHEVROLET wear t AIR POCKET GOGGLES On sale at the Speedway and Downtown. Good Health good appetite, good' spirits mean no discord in the body. To keep the organs in har monywhen there is need use BEECKAM'S PILLS Largest Sale ef Aay Madkbe tm the World. SoU everywhere, la boast. 10 25c, L 0 j Lips Half An Inch From the Telephone When You Talk Keep your lips not less than half an Inch or more than an inch from the mouth piece when you telephone. Then speak slowly and very distinctly, directly into the telephone. If the telephone is farther than an inch from the mouth it will be difficult to transmit clearly such sounds as "b, p, d, t, f, If the telephone is 'closer than half an inch,, nasal sounds like "m" and "a" will not enter properly. the transmitter In making a -call always listen to the operator's repe tition of the number. Ac knowledge it by aaying "Right" if correct. If wrong aay "No" and gire it again. Drug Store News 1 Satisfaction in quality satis faction in price all around sat isfaction that's what you get at the Eexall Drug Stores. Buying for five big, progressive stores means quantity hence price concessions from manufacturers,' which we pass on to our patrons. Ever changing stocks assure the freshest of drugs and drug sun dries. "You can save time and money by trading at the five Rexall Drug Stores." Sherman & McConnell Drug Co. Five Good Drug Stores Out of a wide experience we offer funerals whose heautiful dignity and superb equipment appeal to those who are about to arrange a burial service. We will see that the appointments are correct and that an unostentatious dignity will pervade the entire burial service. We have correspondents through out the land. N. P. SWANSON Funeral Parlor. (Established 1888) 17th and Cuming Sta. Tel. Doug. 1040 .iliiiiiliil:tl!il:il!iiiliil;iliil;il!!Mlili:ii::liiinliiliilil"tiil,l I Our ? Fireproof 1 Warehouse i I Was Built to meet all the requirements. It f gives you absolute protection for your household goods at a s reasonable cost. Separata Locked Rooms Piano Rooms, Silver Vault, etc. - m : Omaha Van I & Storage Co. f Phone Dougtas 4163 806-818 South 16th St. l-lliflrllHi'li !i'iliiiiiHi:i:!'lHliHiH!ili!iilllll::in ' THE OMAHA BEE INFORMATION BUREAU Washington. D. C Enclosed find a two-cent stamp, for which you will please send me, entirely free, a copy of The Canning Book. Name Street Address City State