Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, May 07, 1917, Page 4, Image 4
A The Omaha Bee DAILY (MORNINO-EVENING SUNDAY FOUNDED BY EDWARD ROSEWATER VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR THE BEB PPBLMHWO COMPANY, PROPRIETOR. Entered at Omaha pogtofflc econd-elas wntttf. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. Br Cam. Br mm. Deity md Bunds? pat sumta. M per rear, fa.00 itslly without Sunday . - sue " 100 grwlng and Sundar.. ..... a a00 erasing without Sunday "ISO "loo Inadar Baa onlr - zoo Pally and Bandar Baa, three rears Is sdrsaes .lle.N Seod Boue ot casnss of addraaf or Imgularll la daUron to Onaaa Baa, CtranlatldB DepsrUsaat. , REMITTANCE Rmlt br dnft, ipnca r postal order. Onlr l-eent stsar taksa ta , parmenl of email account. Personal ease, osoeot on Deuba and eastern ttohanse, not aooaptad. OFFICES. emakaTfco Baa Btnldroa. I -Wcaro People's Oa Bmidli Bonili Omaha ml N St Nasi York JM Fifth Are. Council Blulfa-li !. Mala 8L St. Louis-New B'a. of OMnwrea. Llncola Little Boildln. WaatlniMn-Tg Ilia Bt . W. CORRESPONDENCE Addnwa eeflununlcstlojis relating to asws ant adltorlal astUI 10 Omaba Baa. Kdltorlsl DapaftiMBt i MARCH CIRCULATION 54,454 Daily Sunday, 50,477 averts orculsnon rot the axmtai subscribed and swora la br Dwtgbl Williams. CUculaUoa Manual Subscriber. Uarlni tha lty ab.uld hara Tha Baa raalM ta than. Addraes changed aa often aa ranuaatad. , Too many Russian coolcl threaten to spill democracy's beans. The (arnout Hindenburj line (hows about as much resilliency as a punctured tire. The request for a $25,000,000 appropriation for a food survey visions a cheerful outlook for the agricultural pie counter. If the kaiser is uncertain -where the iron crosses belong hereabouts, probably Colonel Met calfe would cheerfully supply the information. y Alternate rifts of sunshine and gloom radiate from Washington to Sagamore Hill, suggesting the propriety of renaming the Potomac the River of Doubt. In addition to local expert advice on increas ing the supply of hogs, requisitions on the ex perience of congressional pork committees would help some. j Experts advise pushing building projects with all the vigor of peace prosperity. Delay means loss of time, with little prospect of offset in low ered material prices. "Full steam ahead" is the true motto for enterprise at all times. ( Signs of the timet visible 'at several cross roads remind patriots In active service that girls will hold down their jobs during absence. This fact, if nothing more,, lends a realistic touch to the going-away song: "The Girl I Left Behind Me! - ' Nebraska automobile licenses issued In four months past number 112,700. On the basis of the census estimate of population in June', 1915, this meant one power car for every eleven persons, a ratio surpassed by only two states California and Iowa. : Politicians and platform makers, who, in years past, monopolized the art of "viewing with alarm," are hopelessly outclassed nowaday!. Every man pulsing with a message seems to think patriotism calls for tlie delivery of a scare. Cheer up and forget it. . . s y . Financiers of German plots in this country - showed themselves to have been amazingly easy victims for con men. If Phineas Barnum were alive, no doubt he would stretch his celebrated census to cover the inrush of alien suckert in the last two years. ' . ' In a recent speech at .Breslau, Dr. Dernburg, of unhappy memory, Interpreted the tignt of the times in these words: '"The new Germany ia here and requires itt house. Let ut build It. - Do not let ut delay." Wonder if the doctor can nego tiate a building permit?-.' An eastern railroad company, which 'holds a aeat in the council! of anthracite barons, recently passed wage raise to the miners and took occa sion to applaud itt generosity. Now the raise toboggana to the consumer while the barons ' -chuckle about the ease of putting things over. Urgent appeals for table economy carry a message of gloom to fat men.. There it serious usnger inai tne puouc win need mem, sn mat event, the swell front, long esteemed a symbot of - (astronomic dignity and power, will lose social standing and tag the bearer at a patriot for grub only. Safety lies in working off the fat. Advertising Lowers Selling Cost By Clinton L. Oliver Who la to Blame for Shortage? Farmers and stock raisers are being scolded and lectured because of the shortage in meat sup ply, much of it due to the sale of young animals. The condition is not novel, for it has been called to public attention by the newspapers of the country time after time for the last ten years or longer. Nor is the farmer alone to blame. In the same issue of The Bee that carried a warning note fromWasliington and a plea for the protec tion of future supply by preservation of the young animals now was printed a note from the market to the effect that "fed lambs" had sold for the record price of $17.40 per hundredweight. This ought to give a clue as ko where some of the blame for shortage in meat' supply should rest. A tender morsel, indeed, is the chop from a well fed Iamb, and one that only the wealthy can have at the price of $17.40 for the animal-on the hoof. And in that lamb is sacrificed its progeny for ever; What is true of Iamb extends to beef, pork, poultry, every form of flesh food. The young and immature animals have been sold largely be cause gourmands were willing to pay extravagant prices for the tidbits thus afforded. Farmers are but human, and it is putting a pretty stiff pressure on their patriotism to ask them to carry an animal on high-priced feed to maturity and then sell it for less than it would bring as a "baby." So long at "Lucullus dinet with Lucullus" this danger will threaten. Caterer! can help a lot by removing from their bills of fare the viands that are ob tainable only at risk of a nation's food sources. Send the Boys to the Country. , High sjchool boy's can be of great service in the fields throughout the summer vacation. Their assistance in the production of food crops, how ever, will not be the greatest benefit to flow frotji tuch expedience. The average boy in the city has no opportunity to learn a lot of things if would be good for liim to know. Six weeks on a farm will give him, a grasp on some knowledge of fundamentals that will serve him well, no matter where he may be put . later. The country boy has decided advantage in this regard, for he spends some time in the cityxeach year and gets first hand, knowledge of life outside his routine. The city boy . seldom hat chance to gather inside information about things as they grow, and a vacation spent on the farm will broaden his out look as well as blister his hands and tan his cheeks. Surfburn endured in the harvest field is so more serious than when accumulated at the swimming hole or on the tennis court, while a closer mutual acquaintance between the city and the country will be mutually beneficial. Germans Not Deceiving Themselves. Excerpts from German newspaper editorials, allowed to past by the censor, might fool the unwary, but the Germans are not given to deceiv ing themselves. The Prussian' war machine leaves nothing to chance and makes no allowance for mistakes. Americans may depend upon it that the kaiser'a war council knows exactly what the United States it capable of doing in connection with the war. It is not credible that the possibili ties of our ultimate full participation as a belliger ent have not had the closest of critical considera tion by the great war lords of Germany. Since the collapse of the Dernberg campaign in 1914 Berlin has been well aware of what might hap pen, and it is equally certain that the resources of the United States in every particular are com pletely tabulated in the archives there, there fore we may feel assured that the bombastic ut terances of army-controlled newspapers do not represent the actual aentiments of the real leaders of German destiny. Whatever else may be said of the Prussian machine, it is directed by cool intellects, whose calculations (have the support of accurate knowledge of all material and most of the psychological conditiona affecting its problem. Appreciation of this will help us in our own prep- ' The universal hardship of the present day it the rising cost 6f living. So many and so great have been these rises that few people stop to rea- lize that there have been any exceptions to the ( general rule. Whatever exceptions there have been they all belong to the class represented by advertised and trade-marked goods. , The old idea that the cost of advertising raises nr!ie Aimm barrl tlitr thj mnrlprn hninfa man knows better. Selling goodt is costly business - no matter what the goods or wnat tne telling methods. But anything that createademand on a large scale makes selling easier and therefore ia bound to reduce the cost and make possible keep. ing down the price. Evidence is better than argument; facts are " better than theories and here are a few of the things that can be pointed to to prove that adver- using nas ana win reauce-tne price oi aa arutic A earner manufacturer made a camera twenty eight years ago that took a 2 14 -inch picture and sold for $25 today he makes a better camera for $10, and he did it by advertising When the manufacturer of a famous breakfast food began advertising, his goods sold for 15 cents a package. Today the "package is 50 per cent larger and sells for 10 cents. Advertising did that. ; Twentv vears aco a nationally advertised snav- , ing stick was sold in a cheap leatherette covered box. Today a stick containing 20 per cent more soap is sold bt the .same price in a handsome nickel box. Then consider the case of the automobile best advertised product ot them all and compare the $7,000 and $10,000 car of ten years ago with equally good cart of today eelling for a fraction ot tne money. Advertising that has created demand on " larger Kale has always permitted better quality . or greater quantity at the same price or a lower price for the same article and all of this in the face of a steady advance in cqat of labor and raw materials. . . ,..-. "A triumph of economical marketing" is the only possible verdict in tne lace oi inese tacts. ationt. ' Health Board Hampered by Neglect. Public health in Nebraska will in some degree be jeopardized by the neglect of the legislature. In the haste and confusion that attended the passage of the' appropriation bills some impor tant items were Overlooked and among them one that, means much to the heatth board. When the Fox bill for reorganizing the health department of the state government was up it met with con- J 1-1 - I I . , . r aiucrautc uppuaiuim, occauac it icgisiaiea out oi office some doctors who had held-on for years. The bill had such support, however, aa prevented its being sidetracked, but an examination of the records of. the legislature now shows the new lavV will be limited in its operation .because of the failure of the legislature to make provision to pay one of the executive officers provided for. The epidemiologist, who wilbe in control when epidemic threatens, will get hiswages, but the bacteriologist, on whose work all the other opera tions of the board depend, is left put and must eerve without pay unless the governor can find a way to compensate him. This is one of the most aggravating of a number of blunders and errors in the record ao far brought to light anti is also, one likely to have importanfffect on the state. Too much "watchfulness" along certain lines and not enough of care given to the real work of the sessions is a charge that is being proven against the legislators. Single Men Enough for Army. Should the federal authorities finally deter mine to form Lthe first line army of unmarried men, enbugh of these may be found to more than fill the requirements. Announcement is made that the first call under the selective draft content plates the' registration of seven million men of military age. This figure falls well below the total of unmarried men of military age returned by the censua of 1910, which gave 7,226,620 single men between the ages of 20 and 44. Of these 3,432,161 were 20 to 24, 2,767,975 were from 25 to 34 aneT 1,026,502 from 35 to 44. If the young men between1 18 and 20 be added the total will be brought up to over ten million. Thus it is easily possiblethat tha first army of a million men be formed from the ranks of the celibates. It is not required that men of family be discriminated against on that account nor ia it likely they will be, but the need for their taking up the. burden of active army life at the very outset is-not so urgent that the service of the country would seri ously suffer were the first forces sent out to be composed entirely of bachelors. This fact is likely to be considered by the authorities in tnak ing up the muster rolls and there will be plenty of work and plenty of time, too, for the married men, who need not feel slighted if they should be left at home on the first call. Hats off to Valley Center, Kan., the inanlcss Eden of municipal jobs. The bounced male lords have one solace left the recruiting office. Mobilize Your Machine By Frederic J. Haskin , " Washington. May 4. How can I use my auto mobile in the service of my country? .That is a question which interests almost every owner of a machine in America. Already a census is being taken of automobiles and their nwnera. ao that when tHrce are needed the firov- ernment can obtain them with the least possible I aeiay. mere arc over j.uuif.uuu auios in tne coun try, according to Howard E. Coffin. This is cer tainly a tremendouaj transportation force. And its value is increased bv the fact that al very lartro part of these cars are owned for pleasure, and so are not essential to our present industrial organ ization. Furthermore, ownership of an automo bile is usually an indication of intelligence and possession of a certain amount of property. We have then certainly over 1,000,000 cars, serving no essential purpose except the amusement of their owners; these Owners are men and women of better than average ability who can afford to devote time and money to the service of their country; and it may be safely assumed that a large percentage of them ould like to render that service. Not long ago a oractica firmer and an editor in a certain town were discussing the food prob lem and evolved a plan which will probably be put into operation, but has not yet been tried. It is offered here merely as a 'Suggestion 'for what ever it may be worth. The plan discussed was to save as much 'as possible of the food which would otherwise be wasted on the farms, form ing a volunteer organization of automobilists to go about and gather it up. Inasmuch as both the food and automobiles are undoubtedlv available in most sectioni of the country, the plan should 1 De workable, but there are various practical dif- ncuittet wnicn win be outlined here, and ways pt obviating them euggested. y L The food supply gathered in this way would consist chiefly of the surplus production, of fruits and vegetables uoon farms and suburban places. This surplus production, which is gener ally either wasted or fed to stock, is much trreater than most persods realize. It is due to the simple' ana incviiauie circumstances mat no larmer can accurately predict how much of a given truck or fruit crop his garden or orchard will yield in a given year. For example, the farmer who was consulted with regard to this plan, said that sev eral tons of good food were wasted upon his place every year, - because he produced more than he could use in fruits and vegetables, but seldom had enough at one time to make it prof itable to haul the stuff to market Thus in a good year for tomatoes, six vines wilt supply his fam ily with all the tomatoes he can use but fn a bad year'for tomatoes sixty vines would hardly yield enough. He plants about forty vines and if the crop.is heavy a latge proportion of it is allowed to rot on the ground. In the same way last year alt of the watermelon vines he planted did not give him two really good melons, but thie year he may feed watermelons to his hogs. Every small mixed orchard in the country represents tons oi waste, it it is a good year tor peaches, then peaches are wasted, while apples may be scarce, and the next vear-the order mav be reversed. " . Most of the farmers would he clad to civ away what would be otherwise wasted, provided someone else harvested the crops, or to harvest them himself and sell them for a nominal figure. One plan suggested was that cards should be sent to all farmers and suburban gardeners asking them to list what they had thatwould otherwise be wasted, and which they would be willing to donate . for charitable purposes. Automobiles could then gather these supplies a'nd turn them over to hospitals and other institutions. Any Rotary or automobile .club would serve as a nucleus for the motor'organization. J. his plan might work in some neighborhoods, but would have certain riifnriilH Th rhincr 'could undoubtedly be carried out on larger scale it tne tarmers were paid a price sufficient to give them a reasonable nrofit on the time spent in cultivating and gathering the crops. It would operate to reduce prices in the open mar ket, but would protect the market gardener and grocer from the unfair competition of a free dis tribution ot toods. Admittedly this olan renuirea much elabora tion, and would have to be varied to meet various local conditions. But anyone who can work it out in a practicable mannerwill have rendered a real patriotic service and successful methods will be published jo that others may profit by them. , W astes Conquerjrr -Mhwoapolla Jaurnal- "A penny saved is two nence clear." said Benjamin Franklin in his "Necessary Hints to Those That Would Be Rich." This bottom principle, of thrift has a direct application in these days to the supreme question of food conservation. An ounce of food saved is two ounces clear. Perception of what the world shortage in food may mean to each individual of us, is just begin ning to come home to the American people. ' The economists with their wide view of the situation have been preaching to deaf ears, and it needed the awakening clarion of war itself to make us listen. . Expedients for fending hardshin from our- selves and disaster from our allies all fall into two classes those for increasing our food pro, duction. and those foa making the food we have go farther by eliminating all waste. Each is of vital importance, but the second is a thing that is within, the reach ot every individual, and is therefore susceptible ofNbringing about tremen dous results in the aggregate. x In the main the nrohlem of nrodiirinc more food from the soil is a masculine iob: while the problem of cutting out waste of food is a feminine task. In the average urban household the man is the earner, the woman the buyer; the man is the pro vider, the woman is the purveyor; the man fur nishes the income, the woman lays out the share of it allotted to maintenance of 'the household. It is the housewife, then, that Is best situated to study the outgo and to banish waste therefrom. T t. 1 : ,-';. . . l . uci uuuiK one may exiiimt rare wisdom, or the reverse. In her utilization of what she buys she may show prudent 'thrift, or permit the garbage can tq .absorb an undue percentage of usable food. On the women of America. t1iirfnr falte tlm important and patriotic task of makiner the rnnn- try's food supplies go farther And do more thai ima uccn mcir won i, in cms waste. in una. ,Pedple and Events An indiscreet member of the Quaker fraternity attempted to tpring a pacifist speech in a Phila delphia theater where federal marines and tailors were assembled. He did not get very far with his disloyal remarks and was saved from physical injury by an involuntary exit. Safety in war time emphasizes the famihar motto: "If you can't boost, don t knock! -' , The story of the San Franciscb girl who seeks divorce because her husband concealed his wooden leg during their courting davs is still going the rounds, tvoking cruel jeers from mas culine scoffers. Really the deceived one deserves symnathv with a heart in it. The ranire of vision in courting times, under ordinary conditions, is exceeding narrow, according to experts. In San Francisco, where fogs bloom luxuriantly, the area of low visibility doesn't afford a ghost of a chance of glimpsing a wooden leg. The awakening is cause tor tears, not jeers. Have a heart, breth rent . r aaBfaanaaxr-faBBE- TTTtTT" Proverb For the Day. Artists are born, not made. One Year Ago Today In the War. Germans launched new great of fenHive ut -Verdun. . Allied transport with 600 Russians reported sunk. CnuntpHs Markievirz sentenced to death fur part In Irish revolt, but sentence commuted ty life' imprison ment. . III Oninlitt Thirty Years Ago. ' The wages of the plumbers the city have been raised by the Master Plumbers' aaaociatlon of Omaha, about 10 per cent. The following took part In the pro gram, of the Literary and Scientific club: ' Chailrs F. Kempfer, Prof. French, 1,. lr. Baer, Fred Nye, Hon. John J. Points, Judge Loulu Berka, Julius 8. pooley and K. D. A. Wade, Lifeboat Lodge No. 150, Independ ent Order of Good Templars installed new officers for the ensuing term as follows: Chief templar, J. M. Lowe; vice templar, Kiss Kmma Keatly; re cording secretary, T. B. Barnes; as sistant secretary, Bert C. Miner; fi nancial secretary. Miss Kate DeBolt; treasurer, Thomas Golden; chaplain, Mrs. E. A. Miner: marshal. Theodore Cramer; deputy marshal, Miss Anna rry; it. B miss Kdlth p. Miner; L. 8., Miss Nettie Kulp; guard, Byron Davis, and sentinel, Bert Pratt The plats for the now Swift pack ing house to be located in South Omaha, are nearly completed. It will have a capacity for handling 1,000 cat tle per day, besides hogs and sheep. Max Meyer & Co., have Just Intro duced a, new brand of cigars,- which promises to be very popular if kept up to the standard of the first install ment. On the inside of the Wx cover are very fine likenesses of Senators Manderkon and Paddock. William KnapD and Miss Ellie Smith were married by Judge McCul loch at the countyicourt. It has been decided that the first three stories of the ten-story building of the New York Life Insurance com pany, will -be dressed stone and the others of brick, the building to be completed within a year, v This Day In History. 1774 Commodore William Bain- bridge, who is the father of naval in struction In the United States, born at Princeton, N. J. Died In Philadelphia, July 28, 1833. 1784 congress established a com bined corps of engineers and artillery, with a military school for cadets. 1840 A tornado visited Natchez. Miss., killing 317 persons and destroy ing $1,500,000 of property. mt7 conference or the powers met in London to settle the Luxem burg question, which threatened to in volve Europe in a general war. 1872 Salmon P. Chase, chief Justice of the supreme court of the United States, died in New York City. Born at Cornish, N. H., January 13, 08. . 1885 James Russell Lowell, the American minister, unveiled a bust of the poet Coleridge in Westminster.! Abbey. 191oi steamship Lusitanla sunk off south coast of Ireland by German sub marine witn loss ot nearly l.zoo lives, Including more than 100 Americans. The Bay We Celebrate. i , ' Axel H. Anderson, an Omaha im porter of Danish books, was born in Copenhagen, Denmark, May 7, 1877. iie is Identified with the Danish Brotherhood and is secretary of one of the local organizations. Earl of Rosebery, former prime minister of Great Britain, born in London, seventy years ago today. , William J. Stone of Missouri, chair man of the senate foreign relations committee, born in Madison county, Kentucky, sixty-nine years ago today. Charles Lathrop Pack, the new president of the World's Court league and also head of the National Food Emergency Garden commission, born at Lexington, Mich., sixty years ago today. William A. MacCorkle, former gov ernor of West Virginia, born at Lex ington, Va., sixty years ago today. Joseph G. Cannon, veteran Illinois-! congressman and former speaker of the house, born at Gulford, N. C eighty-one years ago today. George Wiley, noted bicycle race rider, born at Little Falls. N. Y.. hirty-twj years agcutoday. Timet' Jottings and Reminders. The International " Kindegarten union, one of the largest educational bodies in the world, begins its twenty fourth annual convention today in Boston. Hearings on the general increase in freight rates are to begin today before the Interstate-Commerce commission in Washington. Delegates from many cities of the United States and Canada ar to gather today at. Richmond, Va., for the annual convention of the Ameri can Waterworks association. Pursuant to a proclamation of the governor, Indiana is to observe today as "LaFayette Day," in honor of the memory of the famous French soldier and friend of America. Important civic problems are to be discussed at the national conference on city planning, whichjs to begin its sessions today at Kansjs City. . A notable society wedding, will take place at Prides' Crossing, Mass., today, when Miss Mary Katherlne Ayer, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Frederick Ayer, is to be -married to Mr. Keith Merrill of Minneapolis. ' The annual convention and exhibi tion of the National Association of Hosiery and Underwear Manufactur ers will be opened In Philadelphia to day and continued through the greater part X the week. The Harvard University Reserve Officers' Training corpse's to start in tensive training today, with a sched ule of eight hours dally of drill and trench work and lectures each evening. Storyctte of the Day. un vice pain at The clergyman was engaged In that iprontaoio wuuuauui, . e"N, ... . LL. h.H 4t e lo me wuiiibh nv nted her husband in very dark "Suppose you were to try to .heap coals of fire upon his headf'he sug gested. "" " 'TwouldnT do no good, she re turned. "I've thrown a lighted lamp him several times nut ne was jum bad next day." Boston Transcript A supervising principal recently was testing some children In reading and, in-order to know whether they inter preted correctly, asked the mean ng of different words. One word which i a jijm..i., a a 'Vhrtatenea. When asked, none could tell Its mean- In order to leaa up 10 no u u- askH: "Well, what , M huWi hnrn? 1 iney uu wiim ...... j . -- - One urchin, whose homo must have had a recent visit Lrmn popped up and said! 'They weigh it. Indianapolis News. . ing. ing do Patriotism in Poetry We'll Just' Keep Sailing On. (Air, Battle Hymn of the Ropublic.) The Kaiser said to Uncle Sam,, ''Dear sir, get off the seas, For if you don't my submarines will bring you to your knees." "Just guess again," said Uncle Sam, "my friend, for if you please, We'll Just keep sailing on." . CHORUS: ' - Glory, glory, hallelujah; glory, glory, hallelujah; glory, glory, halle i lujatf, we'll Just keep sailing on. Your Uncle Samuel is a man that's very hard to bluff; Though well along in years they'll find that he Is mighty tough, And when he mixes In a scrap he never cries "enough, But Just keeps sailing on. In 'HI and '98 he showed what he could do; He never undertakes a thing but what he puts it through; -He alwayB shows his colors, they are Red and White and Blue, And just keeps sailing on. We're mighty proud of Uncle Sam, we know he's on the square, i And if the Kaiser starts a scrap, why TJncle doesn't care, For when the smoke has cleared away, our flag will still be there, And we'll be sailing on. CHORUS: Glory, glory, hallelujah; glory, glory, hallelujah; glory, glory, halle lujah, we'll just keep sailing on. C. G. REYNOLDS. Qriswold, la. "The Kolier and the Crown Prince." "You are old, Kaiser Wllhelm," the Cretan Prince said, "And your hair Is becoming quite white. And yet you repeat aa you stand on your head, ' That the French have no stomach to fight." "Standing thus," Kaiser Wilhelm re--plied with a frown, "Things appear in their proper per spective, The French as I see them are all upside-down ( And that is my only objective." "You are-old," said his son. "yet you manage somehow ' To run things quite at your ease, iast montn in tne east you were gass ing and now You submarine ships on the seas." "I will tell,' said the kaiser, "a secret to you, Phave proved it again and again, In this war the safest and best thing to do Is to claim that your foe is to blame." "You are old,'" said' the prince, "and , of course, you're my dad. And as iuch I am bound to obey you. But this failure at Arras makes me feel bad And I wonder it doesn't dismay you." "I am tired of your talk," Kaiser Wil helm exclaimed, "You're inclinetfto be Just a bit cranky; Get out! When you'v. captured the place you have named I will send you to tackle the Yankees." SAM L. MORRIS. 2001 N. Fiftieth Street, Trullr-of History. Somewhere In Nebraska, April J". To the Kdltor of The Bee: "De mortuis nil, nisi bonum," literally: concerning the dead nothing, unless good; idiomatically: speak only good of the dead. That Is to say,' History should be falsified for the benefit of Jeffrevs and Judas lsiariot. Francis Joseph Hupsburg was born at Vienna,-' Austria, August 18. 1830, the eldest son of Archduke Francis, Iff 1848 his uncle, Kerdimmd I, abdi cated and his futher relinquished his right to the throne. The boy of 18 became emperor of Austria and king of Hungary. Un his coronation speech at Buda Pesth, he attempted to speak In Hungarian and made a coars blun der, unfit to put on paper. The effect of 'this mistake was to Intensify the rebellion of the Huns., They were dls gutedat a prince bo Ignorant of tho language of a people he expected to govern. This mistake was doubtless a lessoHr for Francis Joseph died tho best linguist of any crowned head of Europe. He could speak every lan guage and'evcry dialect of his poly glot empire, Every Wednesday was given to hearing the complaints of any of his subjects.- People could register ahead; and when the turn came, the emperor would listen while Frau-Hans Schmidt told how Peterkln Altstein's hens damaged her garden. His majesty would listen with appar ent Intensity; would give her some advice which a drayman could have given and hand her a piece of money small to him, but large to her; and the poor woman would depart to tell 100 other women of the Interview to which she had looked forward and would thereafter recall as the event of her life. Thus his majesty kept the peo ple of his misgoverned realm effec tively doped. i But the earth never groaned under a more thorough scoundrel. Until ad vancing years made chastity a physi cal necessity, Francis Joseph's lechery was a stench In tlie nostrils of decency. A book might be written- entitled: "The Harlots of History." There we kwould find the names of Helen, Cleo patra, Phryne, Messalina, Catherine 11, Pompadour the French wonnn who gave her name to the peculiar method of dressing the hair and Frau Schratt. There can be no doubt of the nature of the relations between Francis Joseph and this woman. She was- the daughter of a merchant of Vienna. She became an actress. It is the old story and need not be re lated. She had a husband; Francis Joseph had a wife. Frau Schratt was the emperor's kitchen cabinet sole. In his dotage he leaned on her as Louis XV leaned on Pompadour. Frau Schratt hated Serbia because Serbians had killed her brother; and stimulated what I shall describe in my next letter. DKR HEIDE. GRINS AND GROANS. , Dewey Day and Toda'y. In eighteen hundred jilnety-eight And on the first of May Dewey with hirgallant fleet . Sailed down Manila Bay. He halted not for mines or bombs There at the dawn of day Beneath the shelter of our flag, He opened up the fray. ' As he megaphoned to Grldley: When you're ready blaze away. Then they turned loose their dogs of war And quickly won the day. And now again the die is cast, And we are in the fight To claim our right) upon the seas, For Justice, -truth and right , And may some leaders, heaven sent, Some Dewey, Grant or Lee, Be found to lead our armies on, And those that sail the sea. Till all the people east or west Of high or low degree Will know the Stars and Stripes still stands For law and liberty. Then every race of men on earth Oppressed by Turk or Hun, Will see aloft the Star of Hope i Placed there by Washington. I H. O. MORSE. Rushville, Neb. HERE AND THERE. The laat battle of the revolution wai fought near Charleston, S. C, on August 27, 1782. , The Order of the Iron Croia was Instituted br King Frederick William of Prussia In the year 1812. v , Tha first declaration of war in America was-madt, by Boston against the Dutch col onists in the year 1672. The flrst American man-of-war was built at Portsmouth. N. H., in 1781, under the su perintended? of John Paul Jones. The union flag was flrst unfurled in the oamp of the Continental army at Cambridge, Mass., on New Year's day of 177S. i Tha flrst fortification In New York or vicinity waa built by the Dutah on the south em extremity of Manhattan Island in 1614. It ia estimated that the steel aeed in mak ing sheila for the present war would be more than sufficient to construct all the big steel framed buildings in the United States. .On of tha important functions of the Bu reau of Navigation of the United Statee navy le to supply all of the vessels of war with maps,' charts, chronometers, barometers, flags, ,si(fial-llghts, etc. The flrst American forts to use casemates were Caatle Williams and the sister forts built in 1807 to guard the sea cntranc to New York. After the South African war the British government contracted for forty miles of ribbon for tha South African war medals. Based on these figures it is aafe to say that aeveral hundred miles of ribbon will be re quired for the British troops at the end of the preaant appalling struggle, The flrst permanent coast defensea In the United States were designed and eonstructed by General Joseph Gilbert Tottena native of New Haven, who aerved for many years as chief engineer of the United States army. Tb artificial arm devised for the soldiers maimed in the European war is a miracle of mechanism. With it a man can carry a cane or umbrella or hold a book. He can use knife and fork quite dexterously, write a legible hand, hold a Us ball bat or a bil liard cue, a hammer or an as, and pick up a pin. "Postal rates between the I'tiitpd SlHlep "I'll say thict you have a hoat of f .'lends " "But I don't know that 1 really have s host of friends." "Have you two real friends In the world T" "Tea." ' "That's a host." Louisville Cnurter Journal. She Why do you' want me to keep qui. t when I go fishing with you while 1 know you let Miss Pert talk as much aa she likes? He WeX she does talk; but then she makes only ,bltlnB remarks. Bsltlmoro American. and the Danish West Indies have how been reduced from cents to 2 cents." "I always like to take advantage of a bar gain." said Mrs. Flubdub, "but unfortunately I don't know a aoul 1st the Danish West Indies to whom X could write." Louisville Courler.Journal. The head of a boarding school noticed on of the boys, wiping hla knife on the table cloth, and pounced upon him. "le that what you do at home?" he asked indignantly.' " "Oh, no." answered the youngster eoolly; "we have clean knives." Boston Transcript. "Trhsce Is ono bad thing," remarked tha manager, gloomily, "aboutv these muzzling ordinances." "What Is that?" asked his star. "That their operation are not extended to the critics of the dor towns." Baltimore American. oBW MS.WWpoU:,, A WJNfeV MAM CAUIM Oil ME WW HIS UMBREUfX -SHoUlfc 1 CMA HIM Vff PiBOUY tf? -Rose msekti tWf CAU REMEMBER VJHE81T Yffi VST HIS UMrElU,yf,vj, MAKE A WObQ. HUSBAND ! "We're atartlng a circulating library fcr th ua or the - inmates," said the prison rvlsltor. "Is -there any particular book you'd like to make ue of?" "Why. yes' replied tbe convict. "If I could only uo it right away I'd like to have a railroad guide." Puck. "What peovle don't know won't hurt them." "Ia that so?" What about the man who didn't kiHnv the gun was loaded?" Detroit Free Press. ' Jones And who are the O'Briens' ances tors? O'Brien What's that? Jones I mean, whom do the O'Brlans aprlng from?l O'Brien The O'Briens spring from no one; -they spring at them. Dallas News. - First Credit Man How aboat Jones of Plgvllle Center? Second Credit Man He always pays cash, ' so we don't know how honest he le.' Bos ton Globe. "Hubby!" "Yea, yes. yes?" "Before we were married , you used to end me flowers and sweets." "I should be a brute to discontinue that custom. - Tonight It will be cauliflowsr and aweet potatoes." Louisville Courier-Journal. -MI'MI "lilllHIHIIIIIlllliilllllllllllllllllll 7 s S - r E Locomotive Auto Oil The be$t o' un know E The L V. JtSholat Oil Company PnuIsM S S Grain Exchange Bldg., i Omaha, Neb. - fhmiiiiiiiiiiiiniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii? " THE OMAHA BEE INFORMATION BUREAU Washington. D. C. - ' Enclosed find twe-cent stamp, for which you will please tend me, entirely free, the pamphlet "Care of Food in the Home." Name Street Address. City State.