The Omaha Sunday Bee
Comb Honey j
J i
By EDWARD BLACK.
Spring.
Thil month marks the advent of
another spring. The official opening
day of the new vernal season it
scheduled for thil eek. All aigna
portend an auspicious openinj, with
a full line of spring poetry, new
frocks and bonnets and other things
to make love's new year worth re
membering. By common consent spring is fem
inine. The usual picturization of
spring shows a young woman tripping
blithly into the scenery, with Old Man
Winter fading into the background.
She carries an armful of flowers and
does not seem -to be purturbed over
the H. C. of L. or the changing styles
of skirts.
Here is evidence to show that
spring is feminine:
' Joe Egan wrote: ...
'Along the ledges of the sky the
i Spring
Shakes out the cloud-fold of her
gown
Kni sends the rustling raindrops hur
. tling down."
John Burroughs:
"Oh. Spring is surely coming,
Her couriers fill the air. t
1 scent her fragrant garments;
Her foot is on the stair."
. Spring is said to he the open sra-
s hi for Daniel Cupid. It b a season
of sentiment, of housedcaning and of
the resumption of the back-fence news
service.
Yes, spring is the gladsome season,
when nature awakens and the world
is blithe and gay. It is the time when
the modest little violet raises its pur
ple eyes to grce: the new-born sea
son. The river breaks up, the apothe
cary displays sassafras in his window
and the coal man passes the ultimate
consumer over to the ice man.
Clean from Omaha. v . ..
A current joke is: "I came clean
from Lincoln," or "I came clean from
Sioux City" or some other place. If
present activities in Omaha are not
disturbed it will be passible some' of
these davs to say, "I came clean
from Omaha.'" The Gate City is in
the l ands of the cleaners. . Between
the health commissioner, superintend
ent of police department, sheriff, Boy
Scouts, Woman's club and a few more
agencies for, that which is next to god
liness Omaha will be a spotless city
before April showers . bring May
flowers. It is significant, or at least
interesting, to note that Superintend
ent Kugel of the police department,
who is doing a little cleaning-up just
ii3w. was in charge of the street clean
ing department before he took charge
of the police department.
Which Makes the Better Impression?
A small woman with a 'large voice
or a large woman with a small voice?
Doc Connell v .
Has not applied for membership' in
the Prairie Park club.
4.1 Kugel Sayr,:
"Ask Dempsey' or Steve Maloney
r Patsy Havey.",
Compensatory.
The ocean may have its undersea
raiders, but Omaha has its underworld
raiders. .
The Flight of Time ' (
We quote another extract from the
safety first rules and suggestions is
sued by the department of police, san
itation and puplic safety:
"Don't be too eager to pull ou: your
watch and give the time of day to
everybody who asks for it. That's
n good opportunity for someone to
gtab It and run."
H"- , , , 1
Now that hogs are soaring ar.oumt :
Ev
erbo JyTias a Hobly !
Tom Flynn, United States marshal,
has attended more funerals and wakes
than any other Omahan. He was In 1
active politics for many years before
Uncle Sam called him to his present
position. He cultivated many friend
ships and acquaintances and was re
garded as "the little father," . For
many years a wake was not success
ful if Tom Flynn was not among
those present. Even in his present
days of high official position he has
nut given up his hobby.' It is re
called that some years ago a wake
was held without Tom Flynn and
that occasioned such comment that a
newspaper made note of the incident.
He has a collection of clay pipes
which he has smoked at wakes.
. "What is your hobby?" was asked
of S. A. Searle. He replied, "Good
toads." Mr. Searle has been interest
oil. in good roads for a period of years.
He studies the automobile routes and
knows every strip of good road and
bad road in the state. He knows the
Lincoln highway, the O. L. D.. the
rivtr-to-river road and all of the main
highways- over which gasoline-pro-pulled
vehicles are driven. If there
is. any good road agitation within
hundred miles of Omaha he is there.
He attends every good road meeting
nrli! in Omaha. He has faith in good
''- ana reads everythmh he can
i.tt on this .uhject. He has some
uracucal ideas on the jubject of road
OMAHA, SUNDAY MORNING, MARCH
(Jrote History of Omak
Allflie rath an3 upWh Uiafe.frf lo kiow
By A. R. GROH.
Chapter VI. Blackbird.
Our history now takes up the great
chief of the Omaha Indians, Black
bird. Blackbird loved thewhites. When
ever the traders would come up the
river he would go out to meet them
and rummage around in their boats
and help himself to anything he
wanted, blankets and beads and paint
and whisky. ,
. After drinking four or five bottles
of whisky he would be taken back to
his wigwam and the whites would
trade with the other Indians, giving
them about a nickel's worth of beads
for a fine bear skin and otherwise
making up for what the great chief
had taken.
He was much loved for this reason
by the whites, as is shown in t
memorial parchment presented to
him by the Spaniards. Von can read
this in the public library. (See foot
note.)
He wasTTtreat admirer of the fair
sex and married members of that sex
frequently. While this was consid-
CHItP BLACKBIRD TAKE.TH
ered a great honor among the women,
they had to behave themselves be
cause he had a terrible temper.
Once he got peeved at his favor
ite wife and just jumped up and
stuck his knife through her heart.
Immediately he was sorry he had
done it, for she was able to cook buf
falo steaks in a certain way that he
liked them and none of his other
wives could cook them that way.
He sat down beside her body and
mourned for three days without eat
ing a thing. The people didn't at
tempt to arrest him or anything. All
they wanted was for him to get back
into a good humor again.
Finally they brought a little pap-
fioose'fsee foot note) and laid it in
ront f him. This roused him from
his Sorrow. So he kicked the child
out of his way and ordered a big pot
of antelope soup cooked. After he
had eaten that he felt all right again
and married another wife. . ,
Once the Foncas were at war with
the Omahas. : Tbey were having a
battle and the Foncas were getting
the worst of it. So the Ponca chief
dressed his beautiful daughter all up
In beads and wampum and sent her
over, toward the Omahas. Blackbird
' .
CHI tF BLACKBIRD, WAS AMUCHLY.MARRIEDMAN
the $15 mar, it is time to revise the
derogation, "Ham actor."
Eggs.
It one belligerent would call an
other "A hard boiled egg" the court
house embroglio would reach the "pin
nacle of puissant phraseology.
George Parks 'I
Threatens to get into the cleau-up
game,
May 1.
.Speaking about the first of May.
building and it is his hobby, too, be
cause his rcsular work is the rjrattir.e
of law. ,
Secretary Frank G. Odell nf the
Omaha Federal Farm Loan Board
has more hobbies than he has Aimers
and tors. .
His hobbv is to have a In- nf hnh.
bies.
One of his hobbies is memorising
statistics. Another of his hobbies is
to pour out these statistics in parlia
mentary debate in an agricultural
convention, or a "political convutiom
he doesn't care much which.
Odell just can't help filling his head
with statistics. In the words of Oli
ver Wendell Holmes, "His head is
an ant hill of units and tens." No, he
can't help it. They come easily to
him. He just reads them and they
bury themselves in the gcooves of his
brain, from which recessei they bound
at his slightest bidding, and marshal
themselves Into line for his argu
ments. It has been said that he knows the
name and postoffice address of every
Chinaman in Asia, but this is prob
ably a mere opinion of some one of
his over-enthusiastic worshippers. .
Just for pastime he recently wrote
and .published a survey of the- rural
telephone systems in EtVronc. Of
course, he filled it full of everything
in the line of figures, from dates to
the number of 'phones in Riven cities
18, 1917.
ordered the firing stopped and made
peace and married the girl.
Blackbird refused plenty of good
offers to travel with a wild west
show. Tfte noble chieftain considered
this beneath his dignity.
The white men gave him some
arsenic and told him how to use it.
After that Blackbird's enemies used
to die by the wholesale just after
he had sent them presents of meat.
He was a jolly old soul.
In his old age he gofso fat that
he couldn't walk and had to be car
ried around. This is not remarkable
when we remember that he was al
ways a big eater and did not take
much exercise. . ' -
Finally an epidemic of smallpox
struck the tribe and Blackbird got
it Before he diM he gave directions
for his funeral. His dead body was
placed sitting on his favorite horse,
a big white animal or steed, on top of
a high hill north of Omaha with a
good view of the river.
They put his bow in his hand and
gave him plenty of dried meat and
tobacco. For the simple red men be
lieved that the spirit needed these
ONLY 23, S2 MOM
SHOPPING DAYS
BEFORE
MAY I, 1917
AVOIRDUPOIS
things on its journey to the "happy
hunting grounds." ,
Then the warrior brought tufts of
sod and placed them around the
horse's feet and legs and body, till
finally the horse and chief were all
covered up.
He was not allowed to rest here.
For some years later a Mr. Catlin
came there and got his skull, which he
took to Washington,! and Blackbird's
skull is now in the National Mu
seum. Travelers often stop there to
see it. The Baltimore & Ohio allows
ten days' stop-over in Washington on
all through tickets. "
Footnote! Title of the book Is "Bl Baron
do Carondalet Caballero do la, Religion do
San Juan, Mar. da Campo da lea Realea
Kaeroltoa Oobernador Oenerat Vloe-Patrono
da las- Provenolaa."
Foot not: "Pappooae"- Indian name,
meaning baby.
Questions on Chapter VI.
1. Was Blackbird married? ;
2. What kind of a temper did he
have?
3. Why did he refuse to travel with
show? . .
4. Why did the simple red men of
the plains place dried meat and to
bacco at Blackbirds graver
will there be much "dry" cleaning in
Omaha after that date? - t , ,
A Query...'..
Waldemar Michaelsen wants to
know whether it woufo) be proper to
refer to the plant of the Omaha Elec
tric Light and Power company as
"the light-house?" :s
Successful.
Careful Observer I understand
that Perkins made a fortune in auto
mobile headlights.,
Oldest Inhabitant Yes, he made a
signal success.
0VX5
and rural districts, and the number of
seconds it takes central in Petro
grad to connect you after you give
her a number, tie published in this
book almost every hgure of which
mathematics is capable, except per
haps the kaiser's telephone number,
which the censor clipped, , . .
Good horses are the hobby of
Frank A. Wellman, live stock com
mission man. Though he has owned
two big automobiles, he has never en
tirely dispensed, with his ' horses.
Though he drives his car to the stock
yards every day and lias no use for
the horses, he keeps no less than
three blooded horses all the time. .
.5 No, Wetlman is not a race horse
man. He does not track hrs horses.
He simply keeps -them to look at, to
train, to fondle, and to drive, up and
down the boulevard occasionally in
the evening just to remind him of the
good old days before the steering
wheel wis substituted for i taught
pair of reins.
His garage at his home. 2302 South
Thirty-third street, is a combination
farase and barn, one compartment
or the car and accessories, one for
the three horses, and one for two bug
gies, a cutter and a sulky.
Sometimes when he h too busy
selling high-priced hogs on the South
Omaha market, he has to hire a man
lo exercise the horses, hut he pr-fcrs
ON
lAlftet?
teaching
vuo Dusmess, ana inen
ped; ittto
7
. By A. EDWIN LONG.
A great fire in a city not only makes
room for bright, new buildings, but it
may sometimes bring bright, new,
energetic business men to a city.-
A great fire in Omaha in the early
'90's brought C. M., Wilhelm here all
the way from New York City.
Oh, no, he did- not come here to
fight the fire. It was well out before
he got here. He did not come as
fast as all that; but nevertheless it
was because he read in a New York
paper that Omaha had had a great
fire that he came here at all. '
Wilhelm's youthful ambition . was
to be a college professor. During the
long sunny days while he angled for
eel on" the banks of the creek onfhe
old farm near Dansville, N. Y., he pic
tured himself in the dim future,
frowning' over his spectacles at a
class of freshmen, and glibly acclaim
ing that the square of the hypotenuse
of a right angle triangle is 'equal to
the sum of the squares of the other
two sides; or cogently cogitating over
cosines. Also, he hoped to air his
knowledge of the biological theory of
recapitulation and to develop the
Weismann doctrine that acquired
characteristics are not hereditary.
About that time the eel would
Swallow the hook and begin to thresh
the water into spray, and the lad
would-be yanked out of the dream
into the realm of the practical busi
ness of skinning eels. ,
Again his : professorial dreams
would be ripped asunder when his
father made him dig potatoes or hoc
the foxtail out of the cabbage patch.
In the country -school, which he
attended until he was 12, he could do
the Dutch roll on the ice; he could
oounce uoon his dinky sled and steer
has way -down the longest hazelbrushi
hill, or swim the biggest turtle pond
in the township.
At 12 years he entered the town
school at Lima, N Y., where he
stayed for five years. Here the col
lege professorial ambition flamed
again once or twice, but flamed
weaker and weaker, until it flickered
and died out.
The young man soon became
small -stockholder in a large New
York rug and carpet house. He sold
rugs and carpets and learned the bus
iness well, long before his wildest
td go to this expense rather than to
sell them, for he likes to talk to in
telligent horses, and he savs an auto
mobile hasn t much sense after all in
a conversational way.
Clipping newspaper stories which
deal of the activities of the police de
partment is the hobby of Chief of De
tectives Maloney. The, chief has been
cutting out and saving stories for
nearly seven years and at the present
time has his desk nearly full. Some
daythe chief plans to sort all the clip
pings and paste them in a scrap book,
that is if he can get a scrap book
large enough to hold them. -
Edson P. Rich, general attorney for
the Union Pacific, had dreams in his
childhood which still bob up now
and then. When he was verrvoung.
indeed, his greatest desire was an out
door lite, such as is led by a hunter,
trapper or fisherman. And twenty
years' contact with the world has not
fully snuffed out these desires.
One day this last week he gazed
out of lli windows of his office on
the eleventh floor of the Union Pacific
building. It was one of those sun
shiny, springy, days which cause boys
to play hooky trom school.
f'This is no place for me," hesail'
aloud. 1 d like to be ont west hunt
ing and fishing for Some hotel or
something, That s the life.
mafia
dan dreams of
itfi supped into
Otttaka .
4
X2
nightmare ever drove his thoughts to
tar-away umana.
Still.: he knew one Omaha man
That was"" Mr. Orchard. Mr. Orchard
was conducting a rug and carpet
store in the old Continental building
at Fifteenth and Douglas, streets,
where the second. Continental block
recently burned.
This corner has been famous for
fires. . In December, 1892, the old
building burned, and with it went the
Orchard place, with the stock.
Reading a New York paper at
breakfast, Mr. Wilhelm saw an ac
count of the fire and of the loss sus
tained by Mr. Orchard. As he kaew
Orchard in a business way, he wrote
him a letter of sympathy that vary
day. .
In Mr. Orchard's reply some hint
was dropped that indicated he might
not again engage in the business in
So Many Clever May-Day Toasts -Sent'-Wy
In We Just Have to rnnt
The Ten Prize Winners
: i.. . -.
By W. T. Ager, Lincoln.
Backward, turn backward,
Oh Time, in your flight, '
Give us a Manhattan
Just (or tonight. .
I am to tired of water and such.
Throw in the clutch, brother,
Throw in the clutch I , '
II.
By George Distelhorst, Omaha.
Here it to the "Drys" in Nebraska
Who have banished all kinds of "booze I"
The knocked the "L" out of liquor,
- And added that 'ell to the blues.
III.-
By L. M. Westbrook, Omaha.
Here'i to you, Nebraska,
' - You've gone bone dry today,
. ' We drink your health in water
(There is no other way).
- : Your ideals are the highest,
- But we've got an awful thirst, "
It would have been much kinder
t i If you'd chloroformed ut first.
' , IV.-
By F. JC. Wilcox, Omaha. .
Nebraska's dry! Last night the cur
tain fell
On old man Booze. He's gone to hell
The home designed for him. Let's
smile. .
We'll get used, to water in a little
while. , .i
If you don't like water, and think
'what's the use?" -Them
follow Bryan and drink grape
juice. i
.y. - - '-
By C C. Bump, Council Bluffs.
Here's to pure and sparkling water!
Do not hesitate to trust it.
Though you've an iron constitution,
Have jjo fear that water'll rust it.
vr 1
' -By E. W. Huse, Wayne. Neb."'1
Gentlemen, let's drink to Aquarius
Some of
Ice water 'tis to thee, I
Pure drink of clarity, I
Of thee we drink;
Let Mayor Jim partake,
Savidge and Kugel, too. .
On this May first. ,
Here's to prohibition! .
Here s to a bone-dry state!
Here's to the man who will drink ice
, water,
1 Without having to hesitate! ; ' r
As this is the. strongest we get to-
I will now baptize the man at my
.-. right. ..
Oh! give to me the pure cold water!
Fill the glass up to the brim,
For water is a splendid thing '
When a fellow wants to swim.
Come folks laugh, white others cry.
Because our city was voted dry.
But I, for one, longed for May the
first,
When we'd use ice water to quench
our thirst.
So here's to Omaha the pride of the
westi
She is second to none in the great
Fellow' members of ', the fRusty
Shovel." I now propose a toast to the
memory of that well known acjor.
John Barleycomr Uver the Hills
to the i'oorhouse, the play immor-
talized by him, will no longer charnrj
school
me
sup
4
C.'M.Witltetttt
Omaha. The keen mind of young
Wilhelm perceived that Omaha might
be a good location tor a new rug and
carpet house.
Wilhelm rode the next Pullman car
to Omaha to look over the'field. ' By
the time he had conferred with Or-,
chard a little he decided to start in
the business here in connection with
Mr. Orchard.
and help depose thaj old tyrant. King
Boof . - Pick up your glass of water,
you old fellow, to my right, and lift
the corners of your mouth, dissipate
your frown of resentment and join
in spirit and fact this happy band of
gastronomic recohstructionists.
,;.v- VII., .'-;:.',.;.
i By Mrs. W. H. Crary, Omaha. . ;
Here's to the good old Missouri
That washes our dry state shore;
For after May first
' It will quench the thirst
Of those who drank liquor before.
VIII.
By'A. H. Landdeck, Omaha., ,
Here's to dear old Omaha,
Our city so splendid and nice,;
Which has scoured up the lit old
pitcher ' . ;
" And marked it "Pure Water . and
Ice."
die Other Remarkably Good
the masses. His demise was timely
may his former habitation knowihim
no more. . ;
Here's to bone dry Omaha after
May 1st! But, thank goodness , that
everybody is allowed to drink .our
products which will simply force us
into prosperity! May the . Missouri
river never go dry nor the iceman
suffer from heat! ' ' ' 7
If I should " die tonight and !you
should come to my cold form with a
mint toddy and should say, "Here's to
you!" and if I don't rise and drink,
then bury me I'm dead.
Here's to champagne, the drink divine,
That makes us target our troubles!
It contains one dollar's worth of wine
.nd.two dollars' worth ofsbubbles.
Here's to water that quenches the
thirst! " ' 1
You'll find it in plenty after May the
first. - -",
Ashes to ashes, .
Dust to dustl '.,
Since champagne hasn't killed us,
Ice water roust. , '
Drink to the day, boys! Toast it in
nature's own, once the friendly
"chaser," which while offering but lit
tle of nood cheer, vet contains noth
ing more harmful than the little
germs of typhoid. Close your eyes and
drink her down, boys, with resigna
tion of spirit and a pleasant face.
y )
That ws in 1893.' That is how.thsS
firm of Orchard & Wilhelm was born,
after Mr: Orchard had suffered a dis
astrous fire, and after the Wilhelm
yearning for the life of a college pro
fessor had yearned - itself - into
burste'd bubble.
(fait 1 Sarleai
Bnrsaea.")
'Haw Omaha svt War
Best o) Them
What's the Toast? ' -
ix. . ;
By C G. Renyolds, Griswpld, la.
To thee, O, water crystal clear,
We pledge our troth today; ,
John Barleycorn is dead and gone,
They've hauled his bones away,
His days are done, his race -rs ruiv
Lift up your glasses high! ' - (-..
We'll celebrate all o'er the state
', For Omaha is dry.
'. By David Ritchie.) Omaha.
Here's , a cup that holds no sadness I
Here's a cup that's filled" with glad
ness 1 'j. .; .''
From the storage -vaults of nature,
Vintage of the earth and sky.
Hold it up that all may view it!
Let tne sunlight sparkle through it. t
- And drink to ptd Nebraska, for the
state s gone dry.: r .
Answers .
Heres' to the man: who drinks, ice
water, . 1 , -
And drinks ice water alone! -1
For many a man who has drunk the
!'' wine i . ' . -. ...
i- Should have drunk ice witer alone.
Ye gods of destiny have, launched
our ships anew! Uur great and glori-
ous city has gone dry. But is it not
the natural evolution of things?,' Do
not the cows go dry once a year? And
have not the very springs in your
beds been, dry for many moons?
l Well, here's how, boys!' ' ' i; '
For weal or woe, - ' "
f Sure there's May first, . ,
! But the. vines still grow. 'Y
; Lots of ways to kill a cat ,.'
Same with laws we know.
So smile, everybody; all's well
' We're from Missouri what fell.
Here's to the sparkling crystal drink,
, With which after May first
- We'll all quench our thirst! ' -So
here's to the mighty "water!"
- And the man worth while i'
Is the man who will smile '
When alt the saloons go. dry. :
Heres' to the waterl It's clear and its
pure,
It washeth our sins and healeth the
.. sore. ...... i-. '
It quencheth the thirst regardless
of scorn.
We ll dig the grave deep
Of John Barkvr.o'" ' . "