Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, January 08, 1917, Page 4, Image 4

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. Entered at Omaha wtoffic a secood'-elaaa matter
Br Carrier Br Vail
pr month per rear
Dailr ana Bandar '
Dailr without Sunder
Evening and Sundar '!
Krenina; without Sundar 2' 4.00
Sunday Bee onlr
Dailr and Sundar Bm, thrM years in adranrt. 110.00.
Send notie of change of address or irregularity in de
livery ta Omaha Boa, Circulation Department.
Remit br draft, nrtil or postal order. Onlr l-rnt Umpi
taken in pwiant of amall aeeounta. Paraonal check;,
ateept on Omaha and eastern eichange, not aectpted.
Omaha Tha Baa building.
South Omaha 2111 N. street.
Council Bluffs 14 North Main street.
Lincoln C2t Uttle Building.
Chicairo 818 Paopla'a Gaa Building)
New YorkRoom 808, 286 Fifth arenue.
Ht. Louia 80S New Bank of Commerce.
Washington 72 Fourteenth street, N. W.
'; Address communications relating to newa and editorial
matter to Omaha Boa, Editorial Department
nrrcuarn rtnri it iTinu
53,368 Daily Sunday 50,005
Dwlght WBllatns. circulation manuar or me nee
Publishing- eompanr. being duly worn, aara that tha
' average circulation for the month of Deaembar, 1918, waa
68,8(8 daily and 60,005 Sundar.
DWIGHT WILLIAMS Circulation Manager.
, ' Bubeeribod in mr preecneo aad sworn to before mo
. this 4th dar of Januarr. 1817.
. aw. CARLSON, Notary Publta. '
J 1 i ,
' Subscriber! leaving Km city temporarily
should hare That Baa mailed to tham. Ad.
tlraaa eriirbe chanted aa often as requested.
.Vow it always Walt street show great speed
in profiting by a hunch.
, Opposition to good roads is another way of
blocking the wheels of progress'.
Ohio's retiring governor declares that the slate
it inspected to death. Not the only one.
At any rate, Nebraska's new governor ran ex
cuse his mistakes by his youth and inexperience
One of our amiable 'contemporaries boasts
that it is the newspaper preferred by the prisoners
in (he county jail. 'Nuf Sedl i
The peppery Spanish note on U-boat oper
ations foreshadows trouble ahead. Should the
kaiser fail to mend hi ways it is more than prob
able Alfonso may slap him on the sleeve.
Now that the city commission has divided the
pot among the various departments, the real task
of economic expenditure begins. ' Let every dollar
bring the taxpayers a dollars worth of return. ;
Rival governors camping In and about the
statehouse in Arizona is reminiscent of a one
time similar experience in Nebraska. Eagerness
to hang; on or get .in is a trait that knows no
state bounds. !
Uncle . Sam has spent $70,000,000 trying to
"get" Villa, and has little to show for the money.
Should Murguia get the elusive bandit, as re
ports indicate, a claim for liberal reward will
deserve consideration.
Nebraska ranks fourth among the states of
the union in value of farm products. The rating
is a tribute to the industry of the people and
foreshadows still greater advance with the grow
ing of intensive farming. ' ;
That Resignation and substitution of one of
the Nebraska presidential electors may con lor in
with legal requirements,, but if the presidency tie
' pended on tone electoral vote, it would be alto
gether too risky a proceeding. v -
Henry Ford worked his checkbook in the inter
est of Wilson to the extent of $23,529. .This is
less than one-fourth of the promised publicity
blowout, and proportionately reduces the demo
cratic obligation to boost the gas wagon wizard.
-. Thirty thousand new corporations were
launched in this country in 1916, the largest num
ber since 1901. The immensity of capitalistic
growth threatens to impose overtime work on the
Hon. Jerry Howard. In that event, hark to free
dom's scream. , - , j
As a matter of courtesy, doubtless, Japan and
Portugal added their signatures and seals to the
last message of the allied nations to neutrals.
The part of Japan and Portugal in the row at the
present time resembles the famous pugilistic cry;
"Hit him in the slats, Bob; you've got him going."
A parade of the entire Atlantic fleet off the
harbor of St. Thomas will signalize the coming
transfer of the Danish West Indies to the United
States. Coming under world conditions of war
originating. in territorial greed, the event consti
tutes a notable triumph for peaceful negotiations.
Gold and Iron
-New York Time
Current comment is much occupied with the
flood of gold. Lss is said of something more
significant die outward flood of iron. In 1916
the imports of gold were $657,700,000. The ex
ports of iron were $865,000,000. In 1915 the
relation of those items was reversed. The im
ports of gold then exceeded the exports of iron
the growth of imports of gold having been
roughly only a half, while the exports of iron
have more than doubled. In fact, it may be
doubted whether the imports of gold would have
increased in 1916 by $206,000,000 if the exports of
iron had not increased by $477,000,000.
The significance of these contrasts is that iron
is the primary metal.iot gold. Whoever has iron
commands gold, whether in war or in peace
Gold for the most part is used only by being;
parted with. (
These facts are controlling in the war after
the war, whether it be another military war or
a commercial war. The world will be slow to
, quarrel with a nation whose resources include
a mightier warshop than Krupp's, and which is
not the largest of our list. The world knows
that they have fought with our iron and our
weapons, to some; extent, and that in equipping
them to tight we' have surpassed them in that
leading item of preparedness. The world has
learned that it is not enough to have men and
money we have both but that it is more neces
fal? toj!ve ,ron thn sToiaVand again we have
both. The world knows that, as it used to be
said of armies, nations fight on their stomachs,
, and in that respect we are better equipped than
any other country We are able to feed alien
soldiers With breadstuffs by the billion because
we know how to use iron tools on the farms.
1 the war after the war is to be commercial our
ability in agricultural machinery, ships, railways
warehouses, shops, attest that we are leaders in
the arts of peace. Too much gold marks deca
dence. There never yet was a country which had
too much iron in cither peace or war. -
Question No One Can Answer.
In another column on this page will be found
a letter from a reader who asks us, in good faith
we take it, a lot of questions about the war, just
as if The Bee were a Delphic oracle able to
fathom all the mysteries of the future for the en
lightenment of the present. Describing himself
as a farmer, our correspondent, for example,
wants to know whether it will be more profitable
to put his land into corn the coming season or
keep it sown to wheat. As farm prices must de
pend largely upon the continuation of war de
mands, he also wants to know whether the war
is going to last another year and whether Crr
many is going to win or be beaten.
Now, if anyone could furnish infallible an
swers to these questions, he could make several
fortunes and he would not have to bother to
determine whether there will be more money in
wheat or corn this coming year. All the wisest
can do is to base opinions as to the future upon
what has happened, in the past and to gather
correctly the impression prevailing among those
most likely to form unbiased judgments. The
only certain thing in the great European war is
that neither side has so far succeeded in accom
plishing what it' set out to do and therefore that
neither side has yet won or lost. The current
opinion is that the outcome of the war will be
r determined more by exhaustion of resourcees at
home than by military achievement in the field,
and that the war will continue at least through
another spring and summer campaign before
either or both sides are brought to admit the
futility of further fighting and the necessity of
accepting the then existing situation and mak'ng
the best of it.
' Notwithstanding all this, peace talk is in the
air and though it does not soon materialize, it
is bound to keep conditions more or less unstable.
Sincti it is just barely possible the war may
terminate as suddenly as it began, shrewd busi
ness men will not makj committments for longer
periods than necessary, and that holds good for
farmers the same as for others. ,
Conciliation or Divorce?
, News for Nebraakana.
Announcement that Nebraska is to receive
nearly $10,000 from the apportionment of the
"trail" fund of the United States made some
Nebraakana wonder whence the. money comes
and for what it is to be used. It is derived from
rentals of pasturage and other privileges in na
tional forest reservations and ia to be spent on
roads or trails through the reserves. Many of
us didn't know that Nebraska has a forest reserve,
but quite an area is set apart for that purpose
and reports from it are encouraging, as it ia grow
ing in importance all the time. Some day the people
of the state will wake op to the fact that one of
the great opportunities in the semi-arid region
lies in afforestration. The United States bureau
of forestry has demonstrated that pine trees can
be grown in the sand hills, and that pasturage
comes with the pines. Success will follow when
the state takes hold of the work definitely and
Tariff Readjustment Imperative.
, Each succeeding day's events in the business
world, ss well as in the political world, adda to
the argument for tariff readjustment. Importa
tion of gold, which has reached an enormous
total, and which has placed the United States in
possession of the greatest stock of 'gold ever
held by any nation in the world' history, in
creases the danger , to our industry and com
merce in the economic stress sore to follow the
ending of the war. Clearsighted men realize this,
and are urging that we be prepared. At a dinner
in New York last week, Charles M. Schwab,
speaking for the steel industry, called attention
to some existing facta. The Bethlehem Steel
company ten years ago was looked upon as one
of the big units of the steel industry; it then
employed 10,000 men, while today it has 70,000
on its payroll) nd is adding to that list In
thirty years the steel production of the country
has multiplied fourfold, jumping from ten to
forty millions of tons annual output, and the
men in the business say the uses for steel are
just being discovered. At Bethlehem ten years
ago the 10,000 workmen drew wages averaging
$900 per year; the 70,000 now are paid an aver
age of $1,260. . ,
The other side of the picture it that in Europe
it is also possible to produce steel, and the facul
ties of the several nations have been greatly
sharpened by the war, and their facilities cor
respondingly extended. For the present they are
making steel to; war uses; when peace comes,
they will i make steel for other purposes. This
will bring them Into direct competition with the
workmen of America. It will not be possible for
the nationa financially exhausted by the war, no
matter how marked their economic resilience, to
meet the American standard in competition. This
means that unless the payrolls of the United
States are safeguarded in time, Europe will even
tually set our wage scale for us.
The steel industry may be less exposed than
others, but the general principle applies to all
our home industries that have to meet European
competition. The tariff ha hot been settled and
will not be until the ineffectual Underwood law
is replaced by a measure sincerely designed for
America first
Building His Own Future.
The Omaha boy who ran away to Lincoln that
he might pursue his inquiry into the mysteries of
building construction is not so much , to be
blamed. Remember he is but a boy snd there
fore not rifted with that better developed sense
of proportion that would make such aa adventure
inexcusable in a more experienced person. His
energy is the commendable quality developed in
his tale. It may not be that he will become an
architect or an engineer; he may finish' as book
keeper or a newspaper reporter, but if he doea
but hold this teal for the acquisition and applica
tion of knowledge he will succeed beyond hi fel
lows. Thirst for knowledge that leads to ven
tures beyond the confine of the commonplace
or the customary has been the inspiration of man
in alt his upward straggle. Let us hope that this
boy acquires more of consideration for the feel
ings of his parents, but that he retains his desire
to know that will lead him to inquire, even at
some risk. 1
' The burning of those water bonds simply
means that the bond issue waa put out in an ex
cessive amount in the first place. The law ought
to require investment of the water distri:! sinking
fund in water bonds whenever available with
immediate cancellation of the bonds and stop
page of interest on, them, the saving to gn cither
to further meter rate reduction or to cuting the
water tax." . If ....
Literary Die-eat
The simple method of calling the parties into
private consultation has ended many a divorce
suit and re-established many a home. This has
been the experience of every judge, and the need
ot such an eltort presents a serious problem in
social efficiency. A conciliatory agency to deal
with divorce cases before they are brought into
court should not be in the nature of a censor
ship or a rigid regulatory process." think two
writers on this theme in the New Republic. The
attempt at such a delicate task ought to be in
the hands of some one devoted to this form of
social service and connected with the courts. The
likelihood of success in such an undertaking is
illustrated by a case in ooint:
"A husband and wife well past middle life had
not spoken to each other in many months.' All
communication had been carried on through the
mediation of lawyers. The parties directly con
cerned were called into the office of the judge,
, who. left them there for a while with the door
locked. Stormy wrangling followed. But the
voices gradually descended to lower tones,' and
two hours later when the judge re-entered the
office the parties were willing to go home to
"If differences can be settled after legal strife
has begun, it is reasonable to demand that efforts
looking to a settlement be made in the first in
stance. It is the part of advanced thought to
eliminiate community waste by preventing the
growth of the antisocial. We save most of the
cost of combatting disease by seeking to prevent
its cause. In' like manner wa can eliminate the
in I ret ion ot modern divorce proceedings.
"The wise worthy lawyer is constantly per
forming social service by bringing about read
justments before filing suit"
The difficulty lies in the fact that "the element
of the profession which handles most of the
divorce cases in America owes its very existence
to such discord." Therefore, it is an act of folly
to expect effort toward peace from that source.
"The more bitter the strife the more ample
the profit. The wife consults one lawyer, the
husband another. Petitions pregnant with charges
and counter charges are prepared. 1 rifles light
as air are magnified to give the case added seri
ousness. Society and the law have decreed, that
divorce must not be granted except for serious
cause. Hence, tp secure the divorce and to earn
the fee, the lawyer compiles a debit account which
often works serious and irreparable destruction.
Even in those cases where efforts for peace are
successful the seeds of future disagreements have
frequently been left
"The lawyer is a middleman. He exists be
cause a mass of technicalities separates the citi
zen and his courts. Blindly must the average man
trust his lawyer to go into the maze and bring
him back satisfaction of some desire. Whether
he gets it depends less upon, the object sought
than upon the skill of the expert employed.
"Such problems as are involved in the ordinary
divorce proceedings require for their solution a
branch of the public service which is equipped to
investigate and advise. The court as now consti
tuted cannot do this. It is eouioned merelv ta
decide which of two conflicting expositions of law
should be given precedence. Too often the judge
is merely a highly dignified referee in a technical
game. The court must be equipped to meet the
concrete demands of human life. Decisions must
cease to partake of the mystic art of an ancient
necromancy, it must become a place tor the
taking of a trial balance in the immediate prob
lem at hand. Justice, in order to be worthy of
the name, should be the determination of the
balance in human relationships." . '
Cleveland has taken the lead in establishing a
concilation court, where small suits are dealt with
in an informal way. Lawyers, bondsmen and
other middlemen of the law are eliminated, and
the judge acts as investigator and peacemaker.
The writers here think that "the process which
worxs tor peace m adjusting ditterences between
strangers could, at least be eauallv heloful in
dealing with the affairs of estranged partners in
the bnsiness of matrimony."
Shafts Aimed at Omaha
Fremont Tribune: Those wilrt.h nrae imitn.
drels recently convicted at Omaha will probably
have a few nightman i in prison.
Albion News: In order to save a lot of high
priced paper, all Omaha papers omitted their
issues on Christmas and New Years. The will
probably be before the legislature advocating the
cstaDiisnmcni oi more Holidays.
Hastings Tribune: The citv darisnf Omaha
recently rejected all bids for supplying the city
with coal, and decided to go upon the open mar
ket tor its coal. Looks like the grasping "mit"
was working among the Omaha coal men.
Kearney Hub: The Omaha Be i nf the
same mind as the Hub in declaring: that there is
nd call for selling the state school lands. Further,
ine nuo agrees wun tne Bee that these lands
should be "held in perpetuity as school endow
ment." ,
Plattsmouth Journal fdem.1: Ed Howell re.
minds one of the kettle calling the pot black.
ne nas Deen a memner ot the state senate off
and on for twelve rears and his mit. has aierava
been extended in the direction of the special
interests, ' ,
Nebraska Citv Press: If Omaha rwlehratrrl
the advent of 1917 as the Lincoln newspapers
say it did, two things should be borne in mind:
It stamped Omaha as a metropolitan city of the
first class; besides, the same opportunity may
not come again.
Nebraska Gty Press: Omaha has another
reason to feel proud. Not satisfied with captur
ing the land bank for this territory our progres
sive and hustling metropolis has corraled the
headquarters, Fifth division, for the Good Roads
bureau. And these two institutions are not pork.
They mean better conditions for the west that
portion of it surrounding Omaha, of which we
are an important and integral part The land
Dank means less red tape and more money for
the fanner when he needs it. The Good Roads
bureau's activities mean better transportation
facilities for one of five states which have so far
refused to co-operate with Uncle Sam in high
way building.
People and Events
' An official report shows .that automobiles
killed 729 persons on the streets and highways
of New York state last year. This is a cemetery
gain of sixty-six over the record of 1915. Half
the killings occurred in New York City, 248 being
children. ' i .
The Episcopal clergymen's pension fund, under
way for a year past, has reached the $4,000,000
mark, leaving only $1,000,000 to be raised by
March 1, 1917, to make the pledges effective.
Bishop Lawrence says "this great sum of money
is the largest the church ever raised in so short
a time."
The former, steel magnate of Pittsburgh, W.
E. Corey, has hsd a merry time since he dis
carded his first wife for the actress, Mabelle Gil
man. The latter returned from abroad last week
and for the second time neglected to tell cus
toms officers of New York how many swell gowns
she bad in her trunks. As a result of the over
sight the officers took the trunks and the gowns
and Mrs. Corey is booked for extra penalties.
B. E. Sunny, president of the Chicago Tele
phone company, carries a line of cheery optimism
that fits his name. He is sunny all the time, ex
cepting when Chicago aldermen go to the mat
with the telephone company. While breezing
around Milwaukee recently Mr. Sunny radiated
sunshine among University club members by
advocating government ownership of hens and
regulation of output. . Hatching out a diversion
is Sunny's strong point. , :
I essemaj mm ansae! J
Health Bint for the Day.
nnlA Ha.tia ahmtlH nnt ht tflken US
Iphr a warm reaction follows: use of a
very warm bathroom favors this re
One Year Aa-o Today In the War.
Inhabitants fled from Nancy,
Franco, under Are of German fifteen
Inrh B-nns.
Oermans carried by assault part of
French line In Alsace, but were turned
ntit. acrnrrline- tft Paris.
In reply to American note on Frye
case Germany yielded important
nninta in submarine controversy.
Vienna asserted Russians penetrated
Austrian front on the Strlpa a.nd near
Czernowltx, but could not hold their
In Omaha Thirty Years Ago.
The following Omahans, by one of
the latest official acta of Governor
Dawes, were aDDolnted notaries pub
lic for the next vear: F. W. Hammond,
Otto Siemsson. E. M. SOckney, Asel
Steere, H. M. Hunt John B. Furay,
F. B. Bryant Myron E. Wheeler, Je
rome F. Hartzmaa and Frank i mc
V. G. Langtry, C. N. Diets, Andrew
Gilchrist E. P. Davison, Dexter L.
Thomas and Louis Heimrod have been
elected members of the Board of
The Salvation Army ha opened up
In the city hall chamber on Sixteenth
and Farnam. The leader or me army,
Malor Hithard. started out early in
the evening with two or three of his
followers, backed up by a man with
a Dig Bass drum, and started to patrol
the streets.
The firm of P. J. and M. C. Nichols.
insurance agents, have removed from
15U9 Farnam into the Wabash ticket
office. I
The Sullivan combination has ar
rived from Kansas City and la reg
istered at tne Millard. The "bruisers"
went on a "knockout" rehearsal and
were feeling- very comfortable when
they sought their quarters after mid
night. ,
Sol Bergman ha (rone to Milwau
kee, where he Is to be joined in mar
riage to Miss Heller of that city.
This Day In History.
1808 Edward Kent, ninth and
eleventh governor of Maine, born at
Concord, N. H. Died at Bangor, Me.,
May 19, 1877.
1809 George L. Stearns, the Bos
ton merchant who supplied the funds
ror tne guerrlla campaign of John
Brown In Kansas, born at Medford.
Mass. Died In New York City, April
1816 The Americans under An
drew Jackson defeated the British
under Packlngham in the battle of
New Orleans.
18!4 Wllkle Collins, i celebrated
novelist born in London. Died there.
September 28, 1889.
1828 Ell Whitney, Inventor of the
cotton gin, died In New Haven. Born
at Westborough, Mass., December 8,
176I. I
1828 Duke of Wellington became
British prime minister.
1848 Pena y Pena again assumed
the government of Mexico.
1880 Duke of York fnow King
George V of England), promoted to
be midshipman In the royal navy.
1894 World's fair buildings in Chi
cago destroyed by fire.
1895 Royalist outbreak at Hnnn.
lulu wa suppressed by the Dole gov
ernment and the leader were ar
rested. -
1901 Twenty-six lives were lost In
an orphan asylum fire at Rochester,
N. Y.
1903 Seventeen nersona were
killed and many Injured In a collision
In the New York Central tunnel in
New York City.
The Day We Celebrate.
William E. . Bock, city, passenger
agent of the Milwaukee road, Is a
Council Bluffs boy, being born across
we river, January a, isa.
'William A. Clark, multi-millionaire
mlna.wn, inJ fnnnu irl,aJ l, . .. .
. .... . m... ...... uuiicu OMIES
senator from Montana, born at Con
nellsvllle, Pa., seventy-eight year ago
Sir Frank W. Dyson, astronomer
royal of Great Britain, born at Ashby,
England, forty-nine years ago today.
Major General Sir Sam Hughes, late
minister of militia and defense in the
DnminlAn nakin K.m 11 .
"J.,, uv 1 1. a , ASMUUJSUIB,
Ont, sixty-four years ago today.
msui IVO. OUQ1UOU 11. lnSWO!U,
missionary bishop of Salina, recently
v..uvv h...qwu notivp Ul UIV Cpin
COpal diocese of Chicago, born at
T 1 V. i XT V MM ! .
Aetui, i-i. uiiy-au, jbotb uo tooay.
A ,,,,,.,... T . - .
successful of American playwrights.
oorn in ec. ixrais nity-eignt years ago
Kl TJlirtnn TTlrmAa antul ...1 -
lecturer and author, born in Chicago
lony-seven years ago loaay.
Timely Jottings and Reminders.
New Orleans will keep Its custom.
ary holiday today in commemoration
or General Jackson's victory over the
British In 1816.
Special commissions representing
New York, Massachusetts and Rhode
Island are to confer in New York to
day on the high cost of living.
in accordance witn tne constitu
tional provision tho electors will
meet today In the caDltals of the dif
ferent states to cast their votes for
president and vice president.
Frank O. Lowden (republican), will
be Inaugurated governor of Illinois
today, succeeding Edward F. Dunne
Aric&nsas loaay win inaugurate a
'profitable farming" camralan. de
signed to Induce the cotton planters
to raise all their own food and food
stuffs. , v
Governor-elect James P. Goodrich'
and the other state officials elected
in Indiana In November will be In
stalled in office today.
The celebrated case of the steamer
Appam, now a German prise at New
port News, is docketed for argument
today in the supreme court of the
United SUtes.
State legislature will begin their
regular sessions today In Idaho.
Washington, Oregon, Arisons, Iowa.
Utah and California.
Storyette of the Day.
Judge Gary of Chicago, the storv
goes, while trying a case was disturbed
by a young man who kept moving
about In the rear of the courtroom,
lifting chairs and looking . under
"oung man." Judge Gary called
out "you are making a good deal of
unnecessary noiae. . What are you
Your honor," replied the voiine-
man, "I have lost my overcoat and
am trying to rind It"
"Well," replied the judge, "people
often lose whale suits In here without
making all that disturbance." Chris-'
tlan Herald.
What of the War?
Walnut lac, Jan. 6. -To the Editor
of The Bee: I would like to Bee the
editor express himself in a little piece
of foretelling, and with your position
you should be in better shape to make
a guess than a farmer whose business
(if he Is a good farmer) is not a news
gatherer, and I shall give my reason
for asking this information.
I have on a farm some 200 miles
west of Omaha over 100 acres of win
ter wheat and on making a careful
examination of the fields I have about
arrived at the conclusion that (allow
ing for the ordinary dangers of win
ter killing In January and February)
my seed was of poor grade, and I
shall not have more than half a crop,
say ten or twelve bushels per acre.
Now then at the present price of
wheat, it would probably be as well to
let it stay in wheat and not plow the
land up and put it In com, but If
wheat falls to say 90 cents, I would
on such a half crop drop quite a little
As I have a neighbor who Is in the
same fix as I am, and as there are
quite a sprinkling of farmers similarly
situated, I feel sure that a straight
piece or advice would be appreciated.
Now what I want to get at is this.
Will the war last another year, and is
Germany going to be beaten? I have
been a constant reader of your paper
for several years, and other papers
aiso. i nave Deen construing the In
formation from odds and ends that I
noticed in both that the Germans
would be the winners and that the
allies could not win. Lately, however,
a neighbor, of mine who has returned
from Rhode Island and who is a man
I rely on for speaking the truth as he
nonestly sees It, tells me that the Ger
mans who are not in the army are
starving. He says that is popular
opinion there. I have for some weeks
been watching closely what a New
York paper has been saying on the
subject and I don't know what to
think, hence as a reader, would like
to ask for an opinion. What is the
real truth? Will the war go cn or
This Is too long to publish, there s
no need or it, you have a lot of peo
ple1 who know how to write and like
writing, what I want to know is some
thing that I feel sure many firmer
would like to know from The Bee
itself, and it . Is not out of Idle
"Sirs." said bis prime minister to tne
ruler of Hades, "the contractors have arnt
In their bids."
"Send m back," ordered his Satanic ma
jesty. "We will set all ot our pavlnc dooe
free now." Baltimore American.
Prof. Pudre What do you mean, Mr.
Jones, by speaking of Dick Wagner, Ludle
Beethoven, Charlie Ooanod and Fred
Handel? '
Jones Well, you told me to set familiar
with the great composers. Musical America.
She Tell tne a story.
He Once upon'a time before people mar
ried for money
She Oh. that's too ancient; that must
have happened before money was Invented.
Boston Transcript. y
"That man says your wife has the most
beautiful hair of any woman In the city."
"He's trying to work up trade."
"Does he deal In hatr lotions?"
"No; be sold ber the hair Houston
A Protest on Pool Halls.
OnUha, Jan. 5. To the Editor of
The Bee: I have been watching with
a great deal of Interest the work of
the dry campaign. This, however.
ooe not effect our young boys grow
ing up as long as cigarettes are sold
to minora and pool hall are allowed
to run. If some of the women who
have plenty of time to stand on the
corners and preach against the saloon
had the heart-break that some moth
ers have, they would go to the bottom
and route out as great an evil. Young
boys just In long trousers will not go
Into saloons, but they will and can go
Into pool halls, whether they are of
age or not The pool hail is the en
trance to the saloon and if the saloon
is closed. It will simply make It the
entrance to something equally as bad
speaking rrpm sad experience, I k-.t w
that the pool hall Is the first downfall
of the young. Why not start a cam
paign against the sale of cigirettes
to minors and the pool hall where
many a boy's week's salary Is f,pnt
that should go home to a mother who
has worked to raise her sons to be a
help to her. , A MOTHER.
lEMt MR. kABIB6l,
m TO rr-AFTBirWRirW-
"The sheriff caught his young asBlstant
writing love letters In buelnesa hours to
"What did the young fellow Bay when
he was taxed with doing so?"
"Said he was not shirking hit duty an
they were all writs of attachment." -Bait i
piore American,
"My old doctor wouldn't take my malady
seriously. He says It's only headache."
"He said that to a woman with your
"He did."
"I am astonished. Tou suffer from
migraine." Louisville Courter-Journai
"I think Wombat was foolish to pay a
million dollars for a duke for hU daugh
"Good Investment. The movie rights t
the wedding ceremony will easily pay him
20 per cent." Chicago Post.
BUI I see that owing to the war women
are taking a large part In operating tho
railways in France.
Jill Well, women always were good at
engineering aotne things. Tonkers States
' "What sort of a bridge player li Flub
I never saw anyooay succeed in maneu
vering the ace of trumps away from him.
I've seen him fall down In about avery other
imaginable way."Kansas City Journal.
Prank U Stanton in Atlanta Constitution.
It's never for me a world that grieves
When the wind Is a train' the brownin'
For Ifs only givtn' 'em all a chance
To move to th mualo that makes 'em
dance: r
For the wind In the treM, at the time o
Seems pterin a tune for a "Hands 'round
ail "
And Joy tomes back to say "Hello!"
An' I'm swlngtn' the sweethearts of Long
Jenny, an' Mollie, an' now, let's see:
weiu two or m i comp ny 'nongh for me.
way tms sine o tne days o' ion.
Though I jee don't dlsremember none!
For the world may drift In a thousand
But It don't fergit Its sweetheart days.
An' the sure-enough amasln' Brace
Swlngln' 'em all in the dancln' plaoel
So. there's not hi n sal- In the changin'
When the wind Is whistlln' loud an' clear,
An' the leaves are whlrlln' all around
Like all the world waa a 'dancln' ground.
Old times come back an' seem to say:
you oon i gii lost rrom yer dreams awav "
An' life's still bright, an' the world feels 1
Jenny or Mollis Mzt dance is mine!
Winter Tourist
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