Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, November 19, 1916, SOCIETY, Image 16

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Entered at Omaha poitofftee aa eecor,-claa mat
By Carrier .B Mall
par man.
Daily anj Bamlar !!
Dally without Sunday & ! .
Kveninf ana Suaaay
Evenlnc without Sunday 2" J-;J
Sunday Bee only 2S.'... Viaon
Daily and Sunday Bee. three yaara In advante.
Send notfa f chance of addreaa or Irregularity In de
livery te Omaha Bee, Circulation Departaaent.
Kemtt hy draft, eivreee er poatal order. Only Leant AW
taken in payment of imall aeeounu. '""
eieept on Omaha and eaatarn eienanso. not aeeepted.
Omaha The Bee Baildinf.
8outh Omaba MIS N etreet.
Council Bluffa 14 North Main etreet.
Lincoln 656 Little Buildlni.
Chlearo (18 People'! Gaa Buildlni.
New York Room 801, ! Fifth evenae.
St. Louie 688 New Bank of Commerce. .
Waahinlton TM Pourteenth .treat. H. W.
Addreaa eommnnicatione relatinx to newe and editorial
matter to Omaha Bee, Editorial Department ,
53,818 Daily Sunday 50,252
Dwitht Willlame. circulation m.tiaier of The Bee
Puhllehinc company, being duly aworn, aaye that the
average circulation for the month of October, 1818, waa
88.818 daily, and 80,28! Sunday.
DWIGHT WILLIAMS. Circulation Manager.
Subscribed in mj preaenee and eworn to before ml
thla !h day of November. 1818.
,, ,, C. W. CARLSON, Notary Public.
The open door in, Chini is fairly safe so long
as borrowed money rolls in.
. Cheer "up 1 The rising tost of (iving boats in
vain' against the volume and vigor of the foot ball
rooter. . ;-
' The high cost of building seems to be no check
to Omaha's every-little-while acquisition of an
other costly high building. '
The -flock of .turkey, birds headed for the
White House in no manner, shadows the radiant
joy of a pie counter feast..
: Peace leagues and peace talk attract attention
here and there, but artillery holds Khe center of
the stage as the big noise-maker. .
, Food prices are going skyward but there are
no signs of the sheriff throwing up his jail-feeding
contract for having become profitless. . . "
Peddling false rumors about democratic Office
holders resigning should be made punishable by
law aa a misdemeanor, if not as a felony. '.; ;
With the fee broken by a woman member of
congress, what is there to stop President Wilson
from' having a woman member of his cabinet?
Now, ladies, don't all speak at oncet
Mr Bryan still insists that, the democratic
party's chiefesf. weakness lies in lack of publicity
mediums. He evidently does not count either of
Nebraska's self-styled "great democratic dairies."
The Polish kingdom proposition, carries; the
fundamental condition that the natives must fight
for jt. As' thing j go in Europe these day five
price of living is lighting for Hi and living on
thote terms( is mighty uncertain:'' ;
Suppose, (be, master bakers succeeded in plat'
ing an embargo on exports of grain. Fix that
supposition firmly in mind, then imagine what
would . happen to the master bakers when the
farmers and elevator men cut loose. ,,
The Chicago Tribune editor remonstrates with
The Bee for referring to that paper' as a "new
recruit tn the short ballot movement." We apolo
gize. Recruit or charter member, the Tribune
is landing some of the hardest cuts on the long
ballot .- i
. Farm machinery, binding twine and laundry
bills rub elbows with bread, potatoes, coal and
shoe leather on the price escalator. Some day the
boosting machinery will encounter the remorse
less hammer of the victim and the bargain coun-
ter come to its own. r,
; ' ' i ii i i i i .I
Owing to the press of more important mat
ter the election of . president in Cuba escaped
notice. This in itself measures great progress. A
general election in Cuba without enough shoot
ing to be. heard across the straits sdds new luster
to the gem of tile Antilles.
Is Universal Peace a Dream?
A contribution to one of the current maga
zines upon "The Dream of Universal Peace" car
ries' "in, its very caption a gentle suggestion that
universal peace is nothing but a dream. By any
definition, a dream is merely a vision and, at that,
a vision which is unreal; and we must all admit
that up to the present moment, the idea of uni
versal peace has always been and still is a figment
of the imaginationfiction rather than fact.
' Universal peace presupposes either extin
guishment of the incentive for men to make war
upon one another, or incapacity to fight or sub
stitution of peaceful means of settling interna
tional differences. Attainment of the first con
dition is certainly remote, for it is nothing short
of the uninterrupted reign of brotherly love. The
second condition is embodied in no practicable
proposal except that of mutual disarmament and
this would have to be concomitant with the third
suggestion of the establishment of a world court
whose decree would be accepted through the very
futility of resistance.
Whether plans for. providing this machinery
of peace mature fast or slow, the dream, in the
sense that it. is a wish and something to be
strived for a goal which we may approach even
though we may never reach it will persist and
grow stronger in its inspiration. Paradoxically,
the intangible dream of universal peace is the one
thing all nations are willing to fight for.
tittle Acta That Make Up Life.
One of The Bee's reporters recounts in his
own way several of the little acts of kindness that
fell under his notice, deeds of the sort that go
unheeded as a rule, but which serve in themselves
to meet the cynicism of those whose selfishness
leads them to think the world has in it nothing
but coldness and gloom. The truth is just the
opposite; the world is full of kindness, of thought
ful care for the weak and helpless, and of com
passion for those who are unfortunate. Life is
full of little things that in themselves, do not
amount to much, but in the aggregate pile up a
splendid record to man's response to the impulse
to help. Ambitious efforts are constantly being
made for the amelioration of the race, and are
widely commented on, but it is the unnumbered
deeds of kindness, the unrecorded charities and
the simple courtesiea that vaunt not themselves
that really smooth the way and more and more
make bright the pathy along which man must
tread, and which would be terribly lonesome did
everyone walk by himself with no account of the
marcher by his side. Great deeds will find the
doer out, but it is the little things that make up
life, and the observant scribe has noted that these
trifles show man's natural bent to good.
"Stop,' look, listen," the revered safety motto,
is fittingly emphasized by the state supreme court
in involving personal Injury damages grow
ing out of speeding over railroad crossings. The
point which penetrates the windshields is that
careless drivers may not capitalize their reckless
ness in bucking a locomotive. , '
The Expanded Dry Belt. - ,
The wet and dry war map of the United States,
recast on November 7, presents a unique study
in politico-social phenomena; For the first time
since' the dry drive began the country has been
cut in two and the line' of cleavage is clearly
marked by tvhite ribbon states, the tine bears a
distant resemblance to a huge water dipper, ita
curved handle resting on Puget sound, its heel,
at the Gulf and the tip of the bowl at Chesapeake
bay.' . Strategy in thus dividing the wets is evident
in the fact that the dry states, with three excep
tions, are welded together against the licensed
saloon. Maine, Michigan' and Arizona are some
what isolated, but so situated as to serve as a
basis for. flank attacks on the enemy.
The capture of Nebraska waa essential to the
union of the parts and explains in some measure
the fierceness of attack and defense. It was the
chief connecting link between' the wet sections
of the' northeast and southwest and stood as an
oasis in the center of converging dry territory.
With- Nebraska forcibly torn from its ancient
moorings the dry traveler may route his water
wagon from the shores of the Pacific in Washing
ton or Oregon east through Idaho and Montana,
south through the Dakotas, Nebraska, Kansas and
Oklahoma, east through. Arkansas, , Mississippi,
Alabama and Georgia, and northeast through
Tennessee, the Carolina and the Virginias, .with
out once 'touching territory profaned by the
the licensed ' rum demon., . ,'
It was said of General Phil Sheridan after he
inept through Shenandoah valley he left the
't'gion so clean of life-sustaining food that a crow
flying over it had to carry its own rations. In
like manner' a wet' essaying flight over the ex
tended dry . belt must carry his liquid rations
in his, grip, unless he has friends at each 'Supply
point to 'put him wise." -t
v Emigrants and British Colonies.
Tht Salvation Army is carrying on an ex
tensive campaign In London, raising funds to
assist war victims to migrate to some of the
oversea 'portions of the British empire. This is
quite likely to lead to a further test of the bonds
that bind the colonies to the mother country. In
dia is, of course, out of. the question, for there
-the conditions of poverty are sO much worse than
those of England that no comparison can be
safely made. Canada, Australia, New- Zealand
and South Africa remain, but these, ire new coun
tries, eager for the advent of vigorous and ener
getic settlers, whose present people .will surely re
sent being treated as hosts to the "down and out"
frorji, England. , Indeed, only a few years ago,
Canada protested -in such an emphatic manner
'against the practice that the Salvation Army was
compelled to desist from "assisting" emigrants
from London to the Dominion. Canada has also
excluded the Hindu, despite the fact that he is
a fellow under the flag on which the sun never
sets'. Australia has also put up the bar against
the Hindu, and South Africa admits him only in
limited numbers and under conditions against
which even the submerged lower, caste of India
has rebelled. Moreover, each of the colonies has
contributed quite liberally of its manhood to the
cost of war in flesh and blood, and will have ita
own fair quota of disabled to sare for when peace
is declared. Signs all support the thought that
the Salvation Army -vill find Its proposal but
i:.l- mnah 1 - ,L, . I U
iiikiv wuic wciivuic aiivr uic war llian ll was
before, and England, like the other countries, will
be forced to make provision at home for the
wreckage of battle,
' Why Not Everybody Vote by Mail?
This ought to be a good time to take up again
the proposal, suggested by the editor of The Bee
and later by William Jenninga Bryan, by which
the ballots for our elections could be distributed
and collected by mail and the voter permitted
to mark his ballot at home, taking his time for
deliberate and intelligent choice.
We now use the mails for all sorts of public
functions almost as important as voting. Ve
summon jurors, challenge registration and serve
numerous notices in this way. The mechanical
part of it, a device insuring the integrity of the
ballot and at the same time verifying the iden
tity of the voter by his signature, as now, yet
saving him the necessity of going tp a voting place,
is wholly feasible. True, there might' still be
loopholes for corruption or intimidation, but no
more so than, under the present system of voting
and the penalties for violating the sanctity of the
ballot could be made at least as effective for a
vote-at-home method as now for the cumbersome
voting-booth system.
. Neither could the question of comparative
expense be serious, though, even if the proposed
arrangement cost more, it would be worth the
money, and much more, if it rendered it possi
ble for every qualified voter to take part in the
election and made the choice the real verdict
of all the people.
Getting Back at the Farmer.
Two-dollar wheat, dollar corn and ten-dollar
hogs have set the western farmer on a high oed
estal of prosperity, from which he Is to be thrown
down by the farm machinery makers. Notice has
already come from the producers of tractors and
the like that the buyer of their wares must be pre
pared to pay more for them next season than ever
he did. This is either the completion of the vicious
circle, or the working of compensation, just as
you care to look at it, but it carries nothing of
Consolation- to the ultimate consumer, out of
whose pocket must come the increase, no matter
by whom the tax is levied. The "unexampled
prosperity" seems now likely to take on the form
of a disturbance in price balance which will not
again be brought to an equilibrium until some
body has paid well for' the spree started when
Europe began to bid fancy figures for war sun
plies. The farmer, being primarily a producer,
will be present when the settlement is eventually
made.- .
By Victor HoeawaSeff
WITH THE DEATH of Mrs. Manderson
there is none left among, us to represent one
of Omaha's most distinguished pioneer families.
At the funeral my thoughts went back to the days
when the Mandersons were in the spotlight in
Washington, for no one from Nebraska ever
wielded more influence in the senate or maintained
better the prestige of the position socially than
did Senator Manderson with the help of his
amiable wife. I remember attending one or two
of Mrs. Manderson's receptions which were made
brilliant by the presence of all the notables of
the day then in public life, the general then being
president pro tern of the senate as a tribute to
his popularity among his colleagues with official
precedence over almost everybody outside of the
president's cabinet family.
The slender thread upon which big things so
often hang is illustrated by one of the turning
points in General Manderson's career. Having
settled in Canton, Ohio, after the war, he became
a candidate in 1866 for the republican congres
sional nomination against the then incumbent.
The fight in the convention was extremely close
and exciting and after long-continued balloting,
some of the ballots being a tie, his competitor
won the nomination by one vote. It is safe to
say that had the single delegate jarred loose from
his mooring been one to come over to Mander
son instead of leaving him, he would have gone
to congress from Ohio and wduld never have
taken up his residence in Nebraska at all.
Without wishing to be brash with the presi
dent of our Nebraska State Historical society.
I have to take exception to the statement given
out by my friend John L. Webster-, referring to
the recent senatorial election, to the effect that
"General Charles F. Manderson was the only
other senator who won a re-election from this
state.1' We have had several senators from
Nebraska who served more than one term, though
perhaps not, strictly speaking, "re-elected." Alger
non S. Paddock, for example, represented Ne
braska in the senate two full terms covering
twelve years, although not consecutively, and
William V. Allen, after finishing six years, went
back again by appointment to fill a vacancy. One
of Nebraska's first two senators, however, Chaplain
Thomas W. Tipton, was re-elected. He had been
elected, along with General John M. Thayer, at
the time Nebraska was admitted to statehood,
but had drawn the short term of two years, and
when that term was concluded was re-elected for
a full term. During the last four years of his
senatorial service Tipton was a colleague of the
father of our present senator. Senator Tipton
was 'succeeded by Senator Paddock, who again
succeeded General Van Wyck, who came after
him. Even by th most technical use of the
word "re-election," therefore, the present instance
is not the first, bat the second in Nebraska's
While reverting to history, let me make a ref
erence to the revised and enlarged edition of
Stanwood't "History of the Presidency," which
appeared from the press of the well-known Houghton-Mifflin
publishing establishment a few weeks
ago and which will well repay perusal by -all inter
ested in our political development. Stanwood's
book is the standard work on this subject, giving
the results of much detailed and painstaking inves
tigation. This new edition is brought up to date
by the addition of a chapter covering the 1912
conventions and campaign which, being a review
of such recent current -history, naturally chal
lenges special attention. The author captions this
chaoter. "The Republican Schism." which empha
sizes the fact that f resident Wilsons election
four years ano was brotiKht about only as a re
sult of republican division. - His analysis of the
contests which preceded the bull moose bolt, for
which justification was sought by charging fraud,
leads him to render a verdict against those who
made' this charge. Let me quote Stanwood's
exact wprds:
r As nearly as can be made out, from the '
somewhat confused reports, there were in- all
210 nominally contested seats in the full con
vention of 1.078 members. Of the whole num
ber, 108 were abandoned by the' contestants
end were not even brought before the national
committee. All but two of those abandoned
contests were in southern states twenty-four '
from Georgia, fourteen from Louisiana, six
teen from Virginia, ten from Florida. The evi
dent purpose was to have as many contests as
possible to be ready for contingencies. . The
committee on credentials passed separately
upon the remaining 102 contests and made re
ports upon them. No less than sixty-two again
were from southern states; as to forty of the
whole number there was no minority report;
the action of the committee and of the conven
tion was unanimous. That leaves sixty-two as
the maximum number upon which a grievance
seems possible. The committee on credentials
presented statements in detail of the evidence
upon which it made its reports upon"- those'
contests. In the cases of thirty-six of them the
minority made no contradictory statements, but
contented themselves with protests against cer
tain members of the committee. In none of
those cases did they dispute the statement
upon which the, majority reached its ' decision
but in every one they reported that the con
testant was entitled to the seat. Of course
that does not make it certain that the state
ments made by the majority members were
uniformly true and that the decision was right,
but it does create a presumption to that effect.
There are now left twenty-six of the total of
210 threatened contests that had substance
enough to elicit contradictory statements by
the committeemen representing the two candi
dates. Mr. Root had thirty-eight majority over
all others in the election of temporary chair
man. If all the twenty-six really contested
seats had been awarded to the contestants,
Root would still have been elected."
This covers the crux of the situation that led
up to the republican schism in 1912. I give this
excerpt as showing, the deliberate judgment
formed long after the heat of the contention by
the recognized authority on the history of the
presidency and reached by him after a careful
effort to get at the truth, i '
Thought Nugget for the Day.
A commonplace life, we nay, and we
But should we sigh a we say?
The commonplace sun in the com
monplace sky
Makes up the commonplace day.
The moon and the stars are common
place thing,
The flower that blooms and the bird
that sinjrs:
But sad were the world and dark Our
If the flowera failed and the sun
shone not,
And God, who sees each separate soul,
Out. of commonplace lives makes hie
beautiful whole.
Susan Coolldge.
People and Events
Alarm clocks are taking on some of the car
shortage scare and going the usual price route.
What next?
A Kenosha (Wis.) citizen of Italian vintage
hid half a dollar in his mouth. The coin slipped.
A doctor recovered the deposit in time to save
his life and "pull his leg" for $100.
General Jacob S. Coxey of Coxey army fame
is numbered among the political lame ducks of
Ohio. Jake imagined he Was just the right cal
iber for United States senator and hobbled
through the race to the finish. Campaign bills for
$1,276.27 are his chief reminders of the run.
"If Hughes is elected I will marry you right
away. If he is defeated we'll wait a long, long
time." Such was the verbal bet between Miss
Martha C. Hanlry and Fred C Ditmars of Wash
ington. Early Tuesday night Martha cheerfully
admitted her loss and proceeded to pay the bet.
Subsequent returns did not. change the result.
Both won. '
Why bother about varieties of food for jaded
tastes? All the dietary people need, if they were
wise, is ice cream in copious quantities. An Illi
nois doctor, formerly connected with the State
Board of Health, told a gathering of ice cream
makers that their product was the real goods. "A
healthy workingman,'.' aaid the doctor, "needs five
pounds of ice cream a day as food. That'll cost
63 cents and give him three square meals," Now,
go to it, . t
One Year Ago Today In the War.
"Peaceful blockade" of Greece pro
claimed by Allies.
Earl Kitchener conferred with Gen
eral Berrail at Salonica.
German aeroplanes bombarded Brit
ish encampment in Belgium.
Italians broke into Austrian lines
on Isonzo front, but were ejected, ac
cording to Vienna.
Four-fifths of Serbia, according to
estimate, occupied by the invading
armies of Austria, Germany and Bulgaria.
In Omaha Thirty Years Ago.
Mrs. Euclid Martin, a talented ama
teur, is painting showery weather.
Mrs. Patrick treated a number of
her lady acquaintances to a sleigh ride.
South Omaha is to nave a Danx or
Its own. Stock has been taken by a
number of well known capitalists,
among whom are the following: Wil
ljam A. Paxton, John A. Creighton,
P. E. Her, John McShane and Herman
Kountze. The new bank will be known
as the Union Stock Yards bank of
South Omaha. '
The new Philemon club gave its
second party and among those present
were Misses Mary Beckman, Dora
Beckman, Beindorff; Mesdames Tan
ner and Stewart and Messrs. Lydlck,
Wakefleld, Crane, Conoell, Beindorff,
Krye and Tanner.
Frank J. Lange was married to Miss
Jeannette Gerner, a highly esteemed
young lady of Council bluffs. Mr.
Lange Is In the employ of the Omaha
Savings bank.
The trustees of South Omaha have
fixed the license of the saloons there
at $500 each per year. The saloon
men are also required to give a E,000
bond to comply with the requirements
of the terms of their license.
Secretary Nattlnger has received a
letter from a gentleman in Illinois
who wants to purchase two carloads
of Nebraska corn for seed.
This Day tn History. ,
1794 Conclusion of Jay's treaty fix
ing the eastern boundary of the
United States and calling for the sur
render of Detroit and other weatern
posts, held by the British.
1831 James A. Garfield, .twentieth
president of the United States, born
in Cuyahoga county, O. Died at El
beron, N. J., September It, 1881.
1861 Town of Warsaw, Mo., de
stroyed by the confederates. '
- 1884 The blockade of Norfolk and
Pensacola was raised by proclamation
of President Lincoln.
1874 National Woman's Christian
Temperance union organised at Cleve
land. 1889 The first state legislature of
North Dakota met at Bismarck.
1891 William J. Florence, cele
brated actor, died in Philadelphia.
Born in Albany, N. Y.', July 2, 1831.
1893 Trainmen of the Lehigh Val
ley Railroad went on strike.
1898 Don Carlos Buell, noted union
commander In the civil war, died at
Rockport, Ky. Born near Marietta,
O.. March 23. 1818.
. 1903 The house of representatives
passed the Cuban reciprocity bill.
1904 Statue of Frederick the Great,
presented to the United States by Em
peror William, unveiled at the Army
War college in Washington.
The Day We Celebrate.
, Rev. William A. Sunday, better
known as "Billy" Sunday, the evange
list, was born November 19, 1883, at
Ames, la. It's only a year since he
conducted hia revival in Omaha and
celebrated his last birthday here.
Hugh Cutler, paying teller at the
United States National bank, is 30
years old today. He was born at
Rapid City, S. D., and has been with
the bank for Ave years.
Thomas R. Porter, manager Press
News association, is 47 years old to
day. He furnishes Omaha news stories
to western papers.
Robinson M. Switiler 1b an Omaha
boy celebrating his thlrty-lirst birth
day. He Is associated with his father
in practicing law.
Brigadier General Robert K. Evans,
U. S. A., retired, born at Jackson,
Miss., sixty-four years ago today.
Gabriel Hanotaux, the celebrated
French statesman and publicist, born
sixty-three years ago today.
Margaret Mayo, author of a num
ber of successful plays, born in Illinois,
thirty-four years ago today.
George W. Hinman, president of
Marietta college, born at Mount Mor
ris, N. Y., fifty-three years ago today.
Jose R. Capablanca, world-famous
chess expert, born in Havana, Cuba,
thirty-three years ago today.
Everett Scott, shortstop of the Bos
ton American league base ball ream,
born at Bluffton, Ind., twenty-four
years ago today.
Storjrettc of the Day.
One of the lateBt stories In regard
to the "gentleman ranker" in the Brit
ish army Is reported by the London
Tatler. An officer who superintended
the receipt of a large and varied stock
of stores felt the need of a clerk, ano
told the sergeant-major to hunt up
one from among the, men. The sergeant-major
could not find a 'man
who "pleaded guilty" to being a clerk.
but he eventually Angled, out a sober
looKing private ana toon mm before
the officer.
"Are you a clerk?" demanded the
"No, sir," replied the man.
"Do you know anything about fig
ures!- asxea me captain sourly.
"I can do a bit," replied the man
"A bit!" snarled the officer. "Is
this the best man you can find?" said
he to the sergeant-major.
"Yea, sir," said that worthy
"Weil," growled the captain, "I
suppose I'll have to put up with him!"
Turning to the private ha snapped,
"What were you In civilian llfeT"
"Professor of mathematics at
college, sir," was the reply.
Boaion Tranecript: The political preocienea
of Wood row Wilson, however, txeeeda, and
eaplains hie political achievement. 'The
maater, politician of tei White Heuee" la
the title he has earned and wan From
flrat ta laet he haa appealed to the eoft aide
of the. American people, and ppoa that ap
peal ha haa carried the day
Strantrtly enough. It takts a miffbty dull
man to b a bora.
Monty talk, but it doesn't alwayt apeak
when it ia ipoken to.
When the world owea a man a living he
has a life job aa a collector.
Don't reat on your laurels unless you are
prepared to tee them wilt.
Give some men a free foot and all they
will do with it is kick. :
Man want but little ere below, but he
frequently wants a fresh supply of It.
Many a man aspires to be a political
leader when even his doe; won't follow him.
There Is plenty of room at the top, but
you can't make the small potatoes believe it
A woman has no right to Question the
love of a husband who is willing to wear
Jhe neckties she buys him. New York
An eight-hour day for men and women
and a minimum wage of $6 a day Is what
Henry Ford ia giving in his factories, which
is said to be the greatest concession of the
century te economies.
The Women's Educational and Industrial
union of Boston has a bookshop for hoys
and girls, which rnnit be a very delightful
ort of shop for both the children and those
who have charge of It and one can imagine
how interesting It could be made.
Women have begun to make records as
hunters already this fall, and two Pennsyl
vania women have outbagged the men who
accompanied them on shooting expeditions
recently. Every year the number of women
applying for hunters' licenses are more
Nora Connolly, daughter of James Con
nolly, the Irish martyr, is in this country,
and is telling in a very sympathetic way the
story of the Easter tragedy in Dublin. She
says that many Irieh women aided the Irish
rebellion and carried cartridges from Eng
land concealed in their hats.
Women teachers in Philadelphia maintain
that they are entitled to the same pay as
the men. Last week they sent to the board
of education a determined request for the
equalization -of wages to begin January 1,
1017. At present teachers get from $40
to $80 less than men doing the same work.
A girt at Byra Mawr, in the freshman
clans, will inherit a legacy from her grand
father, provided she is able to cook a eourse
dinner for twelve people and then sit down
in a gown made by herself, to eat the din.
ner. There are four sisters, all of whom
must pass the examination between the
ages of 17 and 21.
"Now that women are to go to congress,
things will be In a pretty state."
"Yrfl, debate on the fate of the nation
will have to be kept waiting while a con
grum woman powder her nose, "-a-Balti more
"I'm sure that grocer of ours" gives us
short weight," said be. '
"No, he doesn't," said ma. ' "Hi scale
are correct I weighed myself on tbem this
morning and they showed that I am twenty
pound lighter than I thought Z waa."--Detroit
Free Press.
"My wife won't read any out-of-town pa
pers." "Why not?"
"Every time she picks one op the reads
of a perfetcly beautiful houae for rent,
hundreds of mtlea away." Louisville
"Bhiffem pones as a hustler, doesn't hot4
"Well, yes; he's always energetic In reach
ing a conclusion that something ought to be
done." Boston Transcript
Helena, Mont., reports that bread has
gone up to 16 cents a loaf. The uplift lends
fresh emphasis to th name. -
A statistical sharp who dotes on grave
figures reports that more people are killed
by automobiles in Chicago than by Zeppelins
In London.
As a measure of safety the St. Joe judge
presiding at the trial of the county prose
cutor on the charge of murder required from
attorneys on both sides a. pledge against
gun plays. Any person found toting a gun
into court will be hustled to the outer air.
New York City's traffic court pulled down
$22,991 in fines during October, besides re
voking three drivers' licenses and sending
twenty-five speed maniacs to prison. The
court is steadily speeding up to th law's
St. Jo is to give a tryout to an open air
school. Into which will be gathered the
anemic children at other schools. The school
superintendent reports 181 children, whose
health would be benefited, are available for
the test.
During October the In ter borough Rapid
Transit company of New York carried 68.
680,000 passengers, a 10,000,000 increase
over October, last year. The figures support
the assertion that Gotham is increasing the
pace. '
Decatur, 111., wins a plaee on the map' of
prayerful righteousness. The local foot ball
team' opens each scrimmage with prayers
for victory. - So far the soulful aspirations
of the team pulled down an unbroken score
of winnings.
Salt Lake City's chief of police announces
publicly that bunco men trimmed the citisens
for $250,000 during the year and the police
couldn't do a thing because laws are ineffec
tive and the victims wouldn't give them
selves away in court. , .,
Back In Peterson, N. J., the boss barbers
hit the striking barbers below the belt by
turning their shops Into open "shave your
self" parlors. Several shops of this kind are
In successful operation in new York City.
Patrons are provided with tools and acces
sories and do the Jab without assistance.
The bosses take in more money and pay
less. .
Your trousers in THcMoWioXr:
Strsnger Seventeen years ago I landed
here In your town broke. I struck you for a
dollar. You gave it to me, saying you never
turned a request like that down.
Cltlsen (eagerly) Yes?
Stranger Well, are you still game?
"Yes, I am going on the stage."
"Well. 1 hope you succeed in making a
name for yourself."
"That has already been attended to. I
picked a beautiful one out of a romantic
novel." Pittsburgh Post.
"I hear that you got Into trouble by using
an anonymous communication in your pa
per,"' remarked the country-town lawyer.
"I did," replied the country-town edlton,
"But I'm carrying a notice In the next issne
that hereafter anonymous communications
will not be published unless the writer's
name is signed." Cincinnati Enquirer.
Prank L. Stanton In Atlanta Constitution.
He didn't know much music
When first he came along; -
An' ail the birds were wondertn'
Why he didn't sing a song.
They primped their feathers ia the sun. - '
An' sung their sweetest notes;
An' music jest come on the run
Prom all their putry throats!
But still that fclrd was silent
In summer time an' fail; . "
He Jest set still an' listened,
An' he wouldn't Sing at all!
But one night when them songsters
Was tired out an' still,
An' the wind sighed down the valley
An' went crcepta' up the hill;
. When the tars was all a-tremble
In ths dreamln' fields of blue, .
An' the daisy in the darkness '
Pelt the fa 11 In' o' the dew-
There comes a sound o' melody
No mortal ever heard,
An' all the birds seemed slngtn
.From the throat o' one sweet bird! --
Then th other birds went Mayin'
In a land too fur to call;
Per there warn't no use In stayln'
When one bird could sing fer alP .
Hot Drinks and
We are now serving hot drinks
and dainty lunches in our beauti
ful down-stairs Sodoasis at 16th
and Dodge Sts., and Owl's Nest,
16 th and Harney Sts. At this time
-of the year the demand changes
with the time of the day In the
morning it's something hot; in the
afternoon it's something cold, and
you will find us always ready to
serve the most fickle taste at any
. We are exclusive agents for
several nationally known
Four Good Drug Stores.
Woodmen of the World
W. A. FRASER, President. J. T. YATES, Secretary.
Piles and Fistula Cured
Without Surgical Operation or Pain.
No Chloroform or Ether given. Writ
ten Guarantee Given in All Cases.
Pay When Cured. Car Fare Paid One
Way to Points Within 50 Miles of
Omaha. Patient must come to the
office. Hundreds of the Most Prominent People in Omaha
have been cured by
408-9-10 Omaha National Bank, 17th and Farnam Sts.
Phone Red 4390. Hours: 9 to 12 and 2 to 5.
.is a!i-
te.Mttj -nEasfiJi;