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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 10, 1916)
THE BEE: OMAHA, FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 10, 1916.
jTHE OMAHA DAILY BEE
S FOUNDED BY EDWARD KOSEWATE.
VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR.
THE BEE PUBLISHING COMPANY. PKOPF.1ETOK.
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Address eommunleationa relating to newa an editorial
matter to Omaha Bee, Editorial Department,
The Great American Gamble.
ii a notorious fact that millions of dollars
53,818 Daily Sunday 50,252
Dwlght Wllllama, etreulstloa menaier of The Bee
Publishing company, being duly eworn, aaya that the
average circulation for the month af October, 1111, waa
Mil dally, rod I0,2tt Sunday.
DWIGHT WILLIAMS, Circulation Manager.
Subscribed tn my preeence and aworn to before ma
(his sth day of November, till.
C. W. CARLSON, NoUry Publie.
Subscribers leaving the city temporarily
should hag Tha Bm aaailwl to thorn. AAV
dross will be changod aa of tea aa required.
Political propheti continue without honor in
their own country.
Explaining how it happened relieves the steam
pressure and makes (or safety.
. That Maine election was something of a straw
after all, for the east If not for the west.
Mike Clark is some runner to out-distance a
seasoned sprinter like Sheriff McShane. Hurrah
for Clark 1
Reports from the sauerkraut belt tip off a
rise of 20 a barrel. Yet some pacifists soberly
assert that neutral nations escape the horrors
of war. V : . ,i
That's a handsome vote given to Judge Faw
cctt by Douglas county, bis home district, and if
the state treats him anywhere near fair we will
hail him as chief justice.
Railroad business in the middle west con
tinues at the top notch. The only shadow on the
record of prosperity it the handicap of Omaha's
back-number passenger station.
-Ifrgaepe' ) Lli - f-
In going dry Nebraska his the company of
several other states." But , please observe that
Missouri la still iri the wet column, which Insures
Nebraska a near-by and unfailing source of sup
One of the illustrated weeklies has a picture
of a Llano Grande camp stuck in the mud just
after a rain, .It it's half as bad, as it looks, we
feel more sorry than ever for our soldier boys on
the,, hrirrler. V.1, -.. .
California decisively rejected a fair of dry
amendments. The Golden State is lone on Dior
als, but the voters failed to find the connection
between morals and the manufacture of wet goods
for consumption beyond state bounds. ' .- -
Every one of Nebraska's six, sitting congress.
men is re-elected,' thus keeping the delegation
half-and-half three republicani and three demo
crats. ' The advantage of continuous performance
in office for catching the publie eye is hard to
are up as wagers on the preiidential election, the
betting having started early and continued stead
ily with a fast and furious wind-up. Many wag
ers have been made, moreover, since the voting
ceased, on the strength of belief in what the be
lated returns from determining states will even
More money has been bet, unquestionably, on
this year's presidential election than ever before
upon any single turn of events. The election of
an American president, therefore, is not only a
"battle royal" on the political chess board, but it
is also "the great American gamble" for, in the
language of the popular song, "Everybody's doin'
it," and that is what heightens the keen interest
in the changing complexion of the election figures
as they have been coming in.
In these observations we are not concerned
just now whether it is a good thing or a bad thing
to bet on an election, something which has been
made a penalized offense under the laws of many
of our states for it is a condition and not a
theory that prevails. Fortunately, folks who bet
on elections usually bet on more than one con
tingency, with the result that gains usually offset
losses in psrt, if not in whole, and the best fea
ture of it ii that those who indulge in "the great
American, gamble" invariably do il in a sports
msnlike fsshion, knowing that they stand to lose
as well as to win and, win or lose, take it good-
naturedly and smile.
Our Guests, the School Teachers,
Omaha is again entertaining the teachers of
Nebraska here for the annual convention of their
state association. We need hardly repeat thiir
presence here is welcomed and appreciated and
that the wish is general for a pleasant and profit
These meetings are doing more than any one
thing to Impress the public with the overshadow
ing Importance of the schools in the training
field of our future citizenship and with the ne
cessity of keeping the schools up to the very
highest possible standard at whatever cost. These
meetings are also driving home the object lesson
that the efficiency of the schools for the perform
ance of this work is gauged by the competency
and inspiration of the school teachers who pre
side over the class room. The steady improve
ment of the teaching corps, judging from the
representatives who have been year by year
Omaha's guests, is plainly noticeable and is the
best assurance we have that Nebraska will stead
fastly hold Its rank close to the head of the pro
cession of progressive states regardless of other
Two Pictures gcen Them Closely.
The hours following the closing of the polls
throughout the United States call up vividly two
pictures of procedure. Behold the calm and dig
nified method by which the sunny south goes
about holding its elections, and contrast its ma
jestic movement ol determined exactitude with
the unseemly and confused scramble of .the
Impetuous northerners. : In the south, now, the
result of any election has been predestined for
generations; they know how the several states
will decide at well before as after the chosen day.
Election with them is merely a matter of form,
to give legal life to a settlement already attained.
Therefore, no excitement or momentous disturb
ance touches the even flow of their normal life.
In peace and quiet the democrats of Dixieland
register approval of the selections made in party
councils, and wonder at the "no'therners" because
of the partisan strife and anxiety that both pre
cede and follow elections. Up north it takes not
only the vote, but frequently the official count to
determine who is elected. The difference is that
in one part of the country the people rule, in the
other section the bo&es still determine the out
tome, j '. .
A score of ninety-one victlmi of the steamship
collision off Holyhead sustains the reputation of
the Jrish Sea for turbulence. With the right
grade of wind and weather the water separating
Gael and Saxon turns loose a swell that makes
the stoutest heart sob for land, ,
Up to October 12 of this year Germany re
ports the destruction of 1.253 hostile ships of
2,509,501 tons and 200 neutral ships of 276.524
tons. How far the record of destruction Is offset
by new shipping is not known at present. One
thing appears certain. The world's shipyards are
sssurcd big business for years to come.
Numbers of federalized militiamen serving on
the border exercise their citizenship under state
regulations. Others are denied the voting privi
lege because their states made no legal provi
sion for absent guardsmen. This wrong should
be remedied at the earliest possible moment.
Voluntary entrance into military service should
not work a denial of the rights of citisenship.
It is an encouraging sign of the times to find
the New York Chamber of Commerce and the
New York State Bar association engaged in a
joint effort to formulate rules for the prevention
of unnecessary litigation. The business world
has had ample experience of the delays and the
cost of unnecessary litigation, and the legal pro-
fession would assuredly contribute to the
strengthening of its own position in popular
esteem if it should give convincing evidence not
onlv of its willingness but its purpose to join in
an effort to prevent this economic waste. The
pamphlet in which the recommendations of the
chamber and the bar association are embodied
contains this definition of the duty and function
of the legal profession: "Like the medical pro
fession, it is distinguished from a business in that
its first consideration is the discharge of a trust
! or duty to another. The advice given or services
rendered must not be tainted by a self
ish motive. - '
This is. of course, the ideal toward which
worthy members of the profession are supposed
to strive, but there is another obligation which
rests upon them, and which, while perhaps falling
outside the scope of the present effort in New
York, is just as vital to the lood of the com
munity and to the honor of the profession. That
is the obligation to remember always, when deal,
inf with litigation in causes where the public in.
terest is involved, that the duty of an honest law.
yer is not confined narrowly to the Interests of
his client, but that it extends to the protection
of the oftentimes larger interest of the commun
ity. When the services of the legal profession are
' sriven tc defeat justice, to conceal illegal practices
or evade the consequences of wrong, evils result
In the Good Old Days.
-Phelan Beale la Columbia Newa
Rubbing Jt In On Misfortune.
Circumstances and events hitherto smoth
ered with campaign chaff lend substance to the
pre-election promises of inquiries into the rising
cost of living. Some federal and state officials
for weeks past fumed and threatened prosecution
of price booiters. Conspiracies were seen on all
sides, snd assurances of prosecution of conspira
tors featured the indignant outpourings of stump-'
ers. Now with the vote delivered and the smoke
of battle rising, vigorous fulfillment of promises
is not only a duty, but a humane necessity.
For those who have survived the fray and
came out on top little price pinching sympathy
need be wasted. The shriveled jitney loaf has
no terrors for winners. What care they for foun
dry pie cut into toy triangles while the public
pie counter creaks with a load of good things?
The very emptiness of a coal bin and the padded
price tag are inconsequential beside the warm
ing radiance of a public job. Not so with the,
multitude of losers. A cold, dreary winter looms
aheai and mocks the purse haunted by campaign
l ' 1 1 T"t - . ' l ,
Dills, inf prospect, viewcu irom tug angles 01
food and fuel, touches the founts of sympathy.
But on top of these comes the cruel hunch of a
25 per cent .advance in the wholesale price of
funeral supplies. Surely this conspiracy sounds
the depths of woe and calls for prompt and fear
less official condemnation. No punishment is too
severe for those who conspire to enrich them
selves by others' misfortunes.
The Hsyes-Tilden controversy of 1876 ex
tended through three months, and the Blaine
Cleveland contest of 1884 covered a week with
uncertainty. The former Involved the integrity
of the count in three southern states, and the
latter centered on rival claims for the vote of
New York. The present uncertainty shifts to
new and unexpected quarters, involves a larger
number of close states, and establishes new prece
dents in political history.
My interest in honest balloting began during
my days as a law student at Columbia uni
versity. In 1905 I sponsored a candidate for the
democratic leadership of the Nineteenth Assem
bly district, in which the university is located.
There were three candidates a plumber, a
builder and a painter the last being my favorite.
On primary day 1 proceeded to the polling pre
cinct so as to vote and then circulate about the
district. Upon arriving I observed an ambulance
in front of the polling place, which was most
appropriately in an undertaking shop. Entering
I found the chairman of the election board haying
his scalp sewed up by a surgeon. Inquiry elicited
the response from several belligerent persons
that the chairman was sent to the hospital for
being a fresh guy and that if "youse rah rah boys
(indicating the writer) butt in, the morgue for
youse." Tasked the four police officers present
for protection. The repy was that if I had any
business in the booth to gef it done quickly and
pass on, otherwise I would be fanned by their
night sticks. I sated mildly that it was my in
tention to be sworn in to succeed the chairman
and thereupon the election board, who needed
encouragement, elected me.
In front of my position I place a table about
seven by four and one-half feet. This article
served two purposes; to rest the ballot box oh
and to impede an irate voter in wreaking ven
geance upon the chairman when the latter chal
lenged a vote. Subsequent events demonstrated
the wisdom of this preparation.
- 'the first alleged registered democrat was an
Italian youth about 18 years of age, who
swore in his vote as Prof. Francis M. Bur
dick of the Columbia university law school. The
chairman charged him with perjury and handed
him over to a police officer. A strongarm individ
ual presented a commission from the sheriff show
ing he was a deputy and demanded as a superior
Keace officer that the prisoner be surrendered to
im. This was done and a few minutes later the
youth returned to vote under the name of the
chairman's roommate. The same farce was en
acted and again this willing voter impersonated a
Riverside Drive banker.
By now pandemonium reigned in the booth.
Members of a gang of repeaters, each waring a
white-headed pin in the coat lapel, openly swore
in votes without pretense of deception. And as
an overwhelming exhibition of boldness a colored
citizen calmly represented himself to be the chair
man and insisted upon his vote being sworn in
and counted aa that of the chairfnan, who origi
nally hailed from the south. Word had gone
through the district of the happenings and the
polling booth was filled with a struggling mass of
men anxious to witness the complete humiliation
of a "highbrow" politician. When things were
quiet those near enough would accelerate matters
by taking a smash at the election officials, espe
cially the chairman.
At the closing hour a watcher insisted upbn
being near the ballot box so as to scrutinize the
count. When the box was opened this watcher
exclaimed loudly that he was ill and collapsed,
falling across the ballot box, at the same time
opening his coat from which a large number of
ballots fell into the box. A fake-fight was imme
diately started and during the melee the ill man
escaped. An examination of the ballot box dis
closed 719 ballots cast, although the registration
books showed only 104 registered democrats
residing in the district, eighty-five of whom had
been marked as having voted. The law required
all the ballots in the box to be mixed thoroughly
and the excess number extracted by an election
official, who waa blindfolded for this purpose.
This having been done a count revealed that the
chairman's candidate had not received a single
During the afternoon when the rioting was at
it height the chairman appealed to the police
inspector for aid, Mr. Sweeney being the inspec
tor in charge of the district. The inspector
arrived two hours after the polls had closed and
accused the chairman of fomenting the trouble.
This is the same inspector who a few years later
was sentenced to serve a vear on Blackwell's
Island, and dismissed from the department.
This is a brief description of the conditions that
prevailed under the old primary laws; when the
authorities looked upon primary elections as
family disputes to be settled in the ranki of each
party and as unworthy of serious consideration
even though the laws were mocked and made a
laughing stock. The attitude of the police offi
cials on this occasion herein mentioned reflected
t. Jr1 ?f tne mn':ipal authorities, Mr.
McClellan, then mayor of New York City, was
competing with Mr. Hearst for the 'control of
the itate democratic convention, which had the
naming of the gubernatorial candidate.
' People and Events
Report credits Villa with cutting off the ears
of Carranzistas rather than waste the ammunition
of firing squads, and sending them home with evl
denccs of shear good will, Carranza sticks to the
firing squsd as a sure thing. Still, both sides
calmly pose as advance agents of civilization
Frequent reports of success in netting subma
rines hslt, but fail to end, undersea operations.
Recent activities on the Irish coast, in Norwegian
waters, the safe return of U-53 and the second
voyage of the Deutschtand indicate a vast number
of holes in the blockading nets.
that are quite as serious as any that may flow
Ironi unnecessary litigation. And this is some'
thtna wrhwh liar aeani-iatmna ran rfeaj writh them.
aelvea if thev will but have the rnuriee and roan- I ne
I that his clothes were overlooked.
The Iowa man who complains of the theft of
his shield and slogan makes a pretty clear case of
larceny against the democrats Grief is unbecom-
however. It is an occasion for thankfulness
Fire Prevention Don'ts
Don't be careless in lighting gas stoves.
Don't look for a gas leak with a light.
Don't put gas stoves or rings on tables un
less thev have metal sheets under them.
Don't use folding gas brackets.
Don't havt gas brackets near windows or
Don't burn gas all night as a "night light."
Don't turn the gas so low that it will gs
out and cause a dangerous leak.
Don't keep rubbish around.
Thuuitlit XuKKrt for the Day.
Whatever you wuiild make habit
ual, practise It; and If you would not
make a thing habitual, do not prac
tise it, but habituate yourself to
something else. -Eplctetus.
One Vear Ajro Today In tli War.
petrog-rad reported Russian forces
advancing on Teherun.
Russians broke German defenses
near Kolkl and took 3,000 prisoner".
London reported two German sub
marlneg had been sunk near Gibral
tar by British cruiser.
Austro-Oermans captured mountain
spurs In 8erbla and Bulgarians drove
Serbs acrou gouthern Moravia.
la Omaha Thirty Yean Ago.
Mrg. 8. P. Morse hag done a nre
screen for Mrs. A. D. More which has
occasioned much comment. It Is In
three panels, decorated in flower
studies. . ,
A theater party at tha Black Crook
entertainment consisted of Mr. and
The school board of Chicago treats the tax
Dayers to the rare thrill of rerlnrino- the erhnni
deficit in a year from SI. lOOIWI tn Sfivimin vi.
of the ssving was accomplished by plugging leaks.
The town of Goose Creek, Tex., is under or
ders to move and has no place to go. As the
townsite, owned by a woman, is a good oil
prospect, drillers have taken over the land and
orders to move on have been served on owners
Various rural weather shams are more nr leaa
convinced that the country is booked for a hard'
winter. Coyotes are running in packs, a sign of
tougn weainer rcgarnea as infallible in Kansas.
Turkey bones are hardening in Missouri and
Pennsylvania, forecasting more weather, and
squirrels are mobilizing supplies for a siege.
Even coal dealers are pessimistic, and stiffen
prices witn eacn snow flurry.
Two Dutch boys, clad in the gayraiment asso
ciated with the land of windmills especially the
picturesque trousers and wooden shoes reached
jNew iotk as stowaways on a Rotterdam liner.
The boys were discovered earlv ki the vnvaire
owing to a lack of ventilation in their quarters
and pungent puffs of the odors of EH arh rheeae
which reached the upper decks, and then some.
aearcners followed the scent and found the stow
aways loaded to the waistline with strips of
cheese concealed in the folds of the balloon pants.
The naive simplicity of the kids and the novelty
of their commissary deoartment wrm the evm.
pathy of the passengers, but the unromantic cap
tain spoiled it all by putting the youngsters at
work swabbing decks.
The Brooklyn Eagle completed its 75th year
last Thursday, and celebrated the occasion with a
diamond jubilee edition of 180 pages. On or
dinary nays the Cagle, tar from looking its years,
gives evidence of robust youth and vigor. The
birthday number, while revealing the aoe affarrla
ample evidence of boundless energy, resourceful
ness, originality heightened by mature judgment.
The illustrated supplement is remarkable for its
collection of rare prints, which trace the history
of the city from the Indian wigwams of 1600 to
tne skyscrapers of lyio. History and reminis
cence are recounted ty specialists snd past
achievements in human progress buttress expert
predictions of great things to come. In all re
spects the jubilee number is worthy of the
occssion and proves that the Eagle at 75 is some
n v, Trithni,k. Mr. ana Airs.
William 3. Tlngue, Miss Lake and Miss
Almy. i , ,
. Officer Unthank arreatea a arunaen
man near the Northwestern depot
and conveyed him to Jail. The Ine
KHi.,mrf initiuiftiiai neri 140 in hard
cash In his clothea which he would
have undoubtedly logt naa not inn
kindly officer given him safe lodging.
uaMnu u.ii,, Mh" la tha name of
a new society recently organised In
this city wun a memoerHnip vi nuj
flve. C. J. Smyth Is president and
v -1. D..-I.1-U wMlarv. Tha club
has engaged the Masonic hall for a
series of four parties.
The Besique ciud mot ki aire, uh
with th Fnllnwlne members
present: Mesdamea Yost, 8. B. Jones,
U. U. wooiwortn, jno.u."i em,......,
Andrews, Sargent, W.. P. Allen, Bar
ton, Dr. Jones and Carrier. .
All of the amateur artists are seized
with a mania for 'cupids. The at
mosphere of the studio is thick with
Mrg. L. M. Bennett gave a reception
at which eh waa assisted In receiv
ing by Misses Reed ana uaicomoe.
i , ,, nrlla whn haa hear, here On
an extended visit to her slater, Miss
Foos, has returned to Columbus, O.
This Day in Jlistory.
1791 Robert Young Hayne, whose
debate with Dardel Webster In the
senate gave national importa.no to
the doctrine of nullification, bern in
St. Paul's Parish, 8. C. - Died at
Ashevllle, N. C. Sept. J4, H8.
1816 More than 100 lives lost In
the wreck's of the British transport
"Harpooner," off the eoaat of New
1841 Joaquin Miller, "tn poet oi
the 8lerra," born near Wabash. Ind.,
Died at Oakland, Cal Feb. 17, 1918.
,044 iihhuvtnn Treatv. nettling
the boundary between Canada and
Maine, proclaimed. .
, 1859 Peace waa concluded between
France and Austria by the treaty of
zuncn.' ' ":.
1870 Tha French retook Orleans
from the Germans.
1876 Centennial exposition at
Philadelphia cloaed. '
1888 Germany celebrated the
400th anniversary of Luther's birth.
1904 Battleship New Jersey was
launched at Quincy, Mass.
r ip,io Anti-American demonstration
In Mexico on account of the lynching
of a Mexican In Texas.
1915 A windstorm swept over e
Vbimbi Miaannri and Iowa.
killing' fifty persons and doing much
The Day We Celebrate.
George A. Day was born Novem
ber 10, 1869. He is a native of Iowa
and graduated In law from the Iowa
State university In 1883, coming to
Omaha Immediately to practice nig
nrofesgion. He was supreme court
commissioner before going on the dis
Oliver E. Berg, president or me
Berg Clothing company, is Just 65
years old. He comes from Sweden, but
has long been prominent In Omaha
Judge Richard 8. Tuthill, veteran
Chicago Jurlet, waa born In Jackson
oounty, Illinois, aeventy-nve years ago
Hear Admiral Ridley Mckean, judge
advocate general of the navy, was
born In Tennessee lorty-rour year ago
Henry van Dyne, noted autnor ana
present United States minister to the
Netherlands, was oorn at oerman
town, Pa., sixty-four years ago today.
Wi he m A. F. Ekengren. the Swed
ish minister at Washington, was born
In Stockholm, flfty-nve years ego to
Right Rev. Richard H. Nelson, tapis
coual bishop of Albany, N. Y.. wai
born In New York City flfty-seven
years ago today.
Winston Churchill, one of the most
noted of American novelists, waa born
in m. l.ouln forty-five years ago today.
Chester H. Aidrtch, former governor
of Nebraska, waa born at Pierpont, O.,
nftv-four years ago today.
Del Gainer, Inneider or tne Hoston
American league base ball team, was
born at Klklna, W. Va., thirty years
Timely Jolting and Reminders.
A number of educators of national
prominence are scheduled to address
the annual convention oi tne central
Ohio Teachers' association, which
meets at Columbus today for a two-
Governor Theodore O. Bilbo hss Is.
sued a Droclamatten Setting aside to.
dav as "Illiteracy day'" In Mississippi,
and calling upon, all Individuals and
organisations to Join forces "In the
elimination of thla great handicap."
The Mexican members of the Amer
lean and Mexican Joint commission
are to be the guests of the American
Academy of Political and Hociai sci
ence at a meeting to be held In Phlla
delphla today. Several of the Mexican
commissioner win speax on tne pur.
poses and Ideals of the Mexican revo'
Lumber manufacturers from, every
oak-producing seotlon of the United
States are to meet tn Memphis today
to organise the American Oak Manu
facturers association, which, when
perfected, will be the largest hard'
wood organisation In the world, rep
resenting 1.200 mills having an an
nual output of 4,400,000,000 feet of
The eleventh annual conference of
the Western Economic society Is to be
entertained at the University or Chi
cago during tha two day beginning
. Whether there shall be a strike of
the 8S.00S ootton mill operatives In
Fall River depends upon the decision
to be reached by the Manufacturers'
association at ' its confereno on th
Difference in Theory and Practice.
Bedford, la., Nov. 9. Tn the F.di
tor of The Bee: 1 road a list of gro
cery prices credited to the head of
the home economics department or
t-Ule.vu: college who talks of living on
if.eo a week and I attach to her
list the prices in the country, and I
believe these vary very little. I'd hate
to try buying In the city at these
prices and as Miss Jackson evidently
doesn't salt anything we will have to
add something for salt. And won't
she pleaae tell us what to do with
the corn meal. The grease from that
pound of salt pork plus the one-half
pound of lard won't fry all that as
mush. If pudding Where's the sea
soning? And Where's the grease for
the bread pans let alone the shorten
ing for the bread)?
As for the cocoa, how many labor-
ng men would drink it? Coffee Is
And that 17 cents worth of meat Is
Joke. Not one .helping around.
Seasoning for the stew only.
And the flour. My family consists
of three light eaters. I use twelve
pounds for bread alone. Where does I
the gravy, pancakes, etc., come from?
With no more meat or vesrstables
than this, more bread would be eaten.
What utter nonsense! My grocery
boy Just came in (he gets 112 a week)
and how he laughed when I showed j
mm iiiti cuiivkb WtfiiU'
A "FOOL" READER.
Comparative price schedule:
18 pounds flour f .50
s quarts (4 jo. oeans.
1 peck potatoes
2 pounds cornmesl...
4 pounds oatmeal ....
1 pound salt cod
2 pounds sugar
Half pound cocoa....
yeast cakes (dry) . .
1 pound salt pork...:
Half pound lard
HERE AND THERE.
.... .12.(0 13.58
Omaha. Nov. 9. To the Editor of
The Bee: Yes, the election Is over, and
most of the socialist candidates were
defeated; but this was to be expected.
Popular apathy and ignorance made
it inevitable. That there have been
gains In the socialist vote, however, is
foregone conclusion. That there
have been great gains Is entirely pos
sible. No party could make a cam
paign aa the socialist party did and
fall to make Itself felt In ths election
But, whatever the vote, the social
ist movement goes marching on. It
refuses to be sidetracked. It will not
purchase power at the price of princi
pie. It maintains Itself intact in spite
of fake political issues and the noisy
sham battles of capitalist party can
didates. Its work Is essentially one
of education, and Its activity In the
political arena only incidental thereto.
For the socialist movement, wnne
mindful of the present, is building for
the future, and the hope of. the hu
man race Is in its fidelity.
BPMUND R. BRUMBAUGH.
Cleveland Plain Dealer: It Ii aaM that tha
demand for oorn bread haa been revived.
Why it ever needed reviving is a profound
mystery to all pone lovers.
Washington Poet:' Another Instance of
doing the right thing at the i wrong time
aonaists in carrying a bunch of beautiful
goldenrods M the bedside of a say fever
Cleveland Plain Dealer: At ths pharma
ceutical convention last week it waa asserted
there were too many drug stores In this
country. Well, they're awfully handy when
you want s postage stamp. .
Cleveland Plain Dealer t The discovery that
the flea is not responsible for infantile
paralytic may be thought of aa s vindica
tion, but It will hardly have the effect of
making the flea a popular member of society.
' Louievllle Courier-Journal t It Is said that
books carry disease germs beeauee they are
read by all aorta of persons. We may regard
the Congressional Record aa the shining ex
ample of the absolutely sanitary publication.
Philadelphia Ledger: The administration
is said to be "irritated" with General Bell
for hia report of Villa'e exploits. He cer
tainly ahowed a strange lack of consideration
for tha diplomatic necessities of the situation.
New York World: The United States will
have two bushels of apples thle year for
each man, woman and child. The apple la
the typical American fruit. From Virginia
to Nov Scotia it grows in perfection; from
Maine to Oregon it never skips a state.
Baltimore American: A tourist returning
from Ireland says that country II praotlcally
under martial law, 'with 40,000 troops sta
tioned in varioue parts to keep order. Thia
is a sad ending to the roseate hopes of home
rule which were so strong and bright not so
very long ago.
Brooklyn Eagle: A strike of 801 window
washers in tha skyscraper district, downtown
in Manhattan, will get plenty of sympathy.
Host of us wouldn't take 150 a day to so
what these men do, while certain death grins
at them from the streets a hundred feet
below. Theirs is indeed s skilled sailing.
Boston Tranaeriptt The death of Loyal!
Farragut, only eon o( Admiral David Glas
gow Farragut, ends the line of
The sea king of the sovereign west
Who made his mast his throne.
The younger Farragut was made s soldier,
not s sailor, by hie father, but later left the
army for business life, and later abandoned
that also for a sort of academic retirement.
The scream of shot and shell, which for a
time at least was musie In his father's esrs,
seemed to have left no echo in the son's
breast. Thus it has often been with the
progeny of great warriors.
There are at least 20,000 Jewish sol
diers now fighting 'in the British army.
Pumice stone is the solidified froth of
the lava thrown out by erupting volcanoee.
The Vatican contains 17,000 rooms and
halls and occupies an area of nearly fourteen
The oldest publie .building in New York
City is St. Paul's chapel, which this month
complete 160 years of existence.
The annual production of works on the
ology and religion in the United States is
equal to the number of books of Action.
Kusois has just placed an order with an
English firm for 2,000,000 yards or over
1,100 miles of khaki cloth for uniforms.
The family of the king and queen of
Roumanla consists of three boye Carlos,
Nicholas and Mlreea and three girls
Elisabeth, Marie and Ileana.
One of the curious privileges of the post
of maid of honor to the queen of England
is that of being allowed to wear a charming
miniature Of the queen set in diamonds on
the left shoulder.
In the early days of the petroleum In
dustry gasoline and bensine had practically
no important uses it is said that the re
finers used to run the gasoline Into rivers
and streams just to get rid of It
During the last few years the automobile
industry haa created an enormous demand
for rubber to be used in tires. The Snest
rubber haa been gathered in practically the
same way for more than a century.
New York City, now "the greatest
Hebrew community ever assembled in an
cient or modern times in any one place,"
contained only about 50,000 Jews before
the Russian migration began in 1881.
The Red Cross society of Japan Is not
only one of the biggest, but it Is also one of .
the best organised of the Red Cross so
cieties of the world. It has a membership of
nearly 2,000,000, its property is estimated
to be worth 816,000,000 and its annual In
come is In excess of 9600,000.
Russia haa just beaten all records In
railway construction. It has built a great
double-track line from Alexandrovsk, an
ice-free port on its north coast, down to
Petrograd. and completed it within alx
months. It is 1,220 miles long, and 10,000
men, mostly prisoners, were employed
The nwly -elected mayor of & mall town
was fond of show, bo li did hla beat to ba
Inducted Into office In weathsr favorable
to gay procemlons. At hia ugirestlon thia
notice wia put into the local papera three
daya bofore hla Installation:
"On the occasion of the Installation of tha
new mayor, the fire brigade will be reviewed
in the afternoon If It ralna In tha morning,
and In the morning If H rains In tha after
noon. New York Tlmea.
"I bet my father has killed more peo
ple than your father " eald the hoy In
the rilior hat. "My father li captain of
"That's nothinY retorted the boy In th
red sweater. "My father'a chauffeur of a
United States mail truck." New York
The eiprewman had bought a horse, but
after cloalna; tha deal he waa not exactly
satisfied with hla purchase.
"There la Just one thing I don't like about
this horse," ha said. "She won't hold her
"Oh. that la only her bloomln' pride," said
the dealer. "She will when ah la paid for."
New York Times.
Till HIM ID lcP OUTVIE
"That moving pletura waa rather lncon.
'The employer discharged hla stenog
rapher for not being quick enough- Ye. she
was dashing off whole letters with one
flicker of tha film." Kansas City Journal.
The little folks In the first grade were
reading about a dandelion, and tha teacher
asked who had seen one.
Up went Ben'e hand, and the teacher
aaked, "Where did you see a dandelion?"
"In tha circus!" waa the confident reply.
"Here, you! -What do you mean by telling
that red-nosed bachelor friend of yours that
marriage Is all a lottery?"
"I waa iust about to assure him, m'dear,
that I won a prUe." Louisville Courier
Journal. "What do you know about Boldurla?"
"It's a country In the southwest part of
Europe. Has a population of about seven
million. Is fairly rich. What about It?"
"Look up its metes and bounds. A guy In
here after a war loan wants mo to take a
first mortgage on it." Baltimore American.
(E. V. Newham in hie address to the
Meteorological society, said statistics show
the probability of rain falling on any day
Is greater. If the preceding days have
been wet, than If they have been fine).
I used to wonder long ago, with feUnga of
What caused the dismal soaklngs we so
often had to bear;
But now a meteorologist has made It all
Why weather is so frequently another name
If It's showery on Sunday, you may make
a little bet.
t That Monday, on the whole, will be pre
dominantly wet; j
Then Tuesday will be Influenced by lion
day's steady pour.
And Wednesday will, of course, be Ilkt the
day that went before.
When Thursday's rainy after thla you'll
know the reason why,
And when It's gone you won't expect the
Friday to be dry;
Blame Friday if the Saturday turns road
ways Into bogs,
And sends another Sunday when It's rain
ing cats and dogs!
It's not exactly comforting, no doubt you
Thla lettson from a learned son of Meteor
But though It will not bring hint many
blessings, I'm afraid.
At least It's nice to know just how our
charming weather's made.
Omaha, SAM. L. MORRIS.
WHEN you hear the front-door
knocker it meant that somebody
that'a out b tryin' ( get in. .An' .tame
way with most other knockers, (fc
NO need to
duct's right Just
tell the facts, fivery
bit of VELVET is
naturally aged two
years to make it the
wag question today.
Dim. ' '
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