THE BEE: OMAHA, FRIDAY, OCTOBER 27, 1916.
r"riivvnririnjrAAALnjTji
There ni a right guard known u Pate.
Who toad nry firm on hit foot.
Ho nam want under;
No wonder, by thunder 1
Hie hoes could not turn on a (treat.
-i-,-l-.-,-i-lnrinririn.iiii.i
The halfbacks used to skirt the ends as briefly as could be,
And now the ladies end their skirts with much the same idea.
There was a left guard known Prout,
Who had rheumatism and gout,
But he'd smash thru the line
When the weather wai fine
And nothing like that put him out.
Tad's
CHARLEY HARVEY SWEARS that this one is true:
Two colored teams are playing in Jacksonville. The pitcher, a
southpaw, has a peculiar hula-hula movement when he winds up, and
is nicknamed "Duck" White.
Our hero "Duck" is on the mound. The team at bat has a man on first,
,
A FAST Owe T
5M I NEVER ENOy
i.;. uA Indira at tf, nlati. thn slnwlv
atomy again, and the man at first, thinking the ball is coming his way, dives
for the bag, while Casey at the bat, thinking the same, stands still. It cuts
the plate. "STRIKE TWOI" yells.the ump.
"Duck" goes to the pitchers' box again. He looks over the field, then at
the batter, then, at the man on first. - ,
He starts to wind up again. Then his arms dropped a bit as the man on
first dances. "Duck" wiggles again, and WHAM 1111 IT GOES TO
FIRST BASE. The batter swings so hard that he falls down.
'THREE STRIKES!" yells the ump, who has shut his eyes, too.
The batter, with lowered head, walks toward the bench. One of the boys
asks him if "Duck" had any speed. "Huh," pipes the big batsman, "that boy
flings-a nasty1, wingl Say, I didn't EVEN SEE THAT LAST ONE! I
GASP AR 1ILL NOT
MANAGETHE SIOUX
New Mail Will Be Sought From
Big League to Take
the Job.
PLAN WELL TJNDEB WAY
Sioux; City, la., Oct 26. Harry
Gaspar will not manage the Sioux
ity Western League ease uau ciuo
next season.
President E. J. Hardon nas accept-
CU a . -"p ,
his retention m tne team aa a pucncr.
The former manager has not accepted
the offer. ....
President Hanlon says he will go
to the major leagues for a successor
to Gaspar. "I want a' man who
know how to manage and I am go
ing to go to the big show for that
man," he, says. "What's more, I am
roing to get such a man to take
charge- of my team next year, at any
cost; I will have practically the same
team to start the. 1917 season- that
I finished with thia year . . '
WILSON WRECKS
HIGH lDtiALS Ui
NATIONAL HONOR
(Continued From Pace One.)
pared with the fiscal year before the
war, showed a decrease in exports
of $200,000,000, so far as materials not
affected by the war were concerned,
but an increase of $1,500,000,000 of
exports that were affected by the
war. On the other hand, things need
ed only in peace have fallen off."
i On the Adamson Bill.
Colonel Roosevelt then took up the
Adamson, bill, saying:
"A word as to the Adamson bill
the law passed without any investi
gation whatever1 to raise the wages
of men working on railways of the
couritry. I very greatly respect the
brotherhoods. I am very proud that
I am an honorary member of the
Brotherhood of Locomotive Engi
neers and Firemen. When I was
president it was my good fortune
to stand by the brotherhoods, so far
as I can recall, on every question
where they were concerned. I stood
by them because they were right.1
"The president of ,he United
States stood over congress and de
manded that the government of all
the people should pass a law for the
economical advantage of yi of 1 per
cent of the people, without giving the
rest their 'day in court.'
Blame Is All Wilson's.
' "For the first time in the history
of this country the president of "all
the people took an industrial con
troversy trom ' the economical field
and placed it in the political field
for personal, advantage in the Cam
paign. I do not censure the indi
vidual congressmen who acted under
the pressure of the chief magistrate
of the United States, who came be-
. fnr rhptn allpcrincr a crear national
crisis Was threatening the economical
and industrial life of the country and
the food supply of the great cities,
and who demanded of congress this
law under pretense that it was a
justifiable social welfare law.
"It is he, and not any leader of the
brotherhoods, who is ' primarily to
blame, for the brotherhoods ated as
they did only under direct incitement
of the president. In other words, the
law was passed under duress and by
threat., and the president yielded, as
he had yielded before to outside
threats in international matters. I hold
that such yielding was an act, not
merely of timidity, but grave aban
donment of duty. -What
the .Farmers Want.
"The Farmers' union demands in
vestigation whether the hours of
work and the compensation of the
railroad men compare unfavorably
with those of the farmers, whether
, the farmer is financially able to with
stand his proportion of the burden of
the increase. The farmers want to
know the facts before sanctioning a
law which may gravely compromise
their interests. I wish to see wages
evarywnere as nign as possioie, pro
vided the raise is compatible with
justice to all vitally concerned. I wish
to aee the eisht-hour day as the ideal
toward which we should strive, but
how many considerations must enter
into our decision as to how this ideal
is to be achieved. We must strive to
Tid - Bits
with two out, and the heaviest hitter is
up with a bat like a telegraph pole.
He digs his feet into the batters' box,
wets his hands well, grabs the bludgeon
and is set.
He is the personification of confi
dence as he poses there waiting for
"Duck" to toss over the old pill.
The crowd howls. They know the
batter is a terror and they want to see
the ball go sailing over the fence.
"Duck" starts to wind up, but the man
on first has him worried. He lets his
arms down to throw, gives the peculiar
wiggle, and the man at bat, thinking
that he is about to throw to first, stands
still.
Bam I I I I It cuts the plate, and
the ump calls "STRIKE ONE."
The man at bat looks up at the sky,
smiles a little, pulls his car down, spits
on his hands once more and is ready
again.
"Duck" slants at the man on first, lifts
lets his arms down, wineries his an
Sport Calendar Today
Baxtaf-Andra Anderson eeralnst Fred
Fulton, ten ronnds, at Kan Clalra, Wis.
Hoahr Bom against Charlie Shanda, fifteen
rounds, at New Haven. Matty Smith against
Fred Andrews, ten rounds, at Racine Wis.
Hike Hlrsefa against Joe Dorr, ten rounds, at
Baelne, Wis. Tom Gibbons against Walter
Monaghaa, fifteen rounds, at Winnipeg. Al
ii Naek against gnamns O'Brien, ten
rounds, at New York. Freddie Yells against
Met Coo ran, twelve rounds, at Manchester,
N. H. Hleker Denier against Fatsy CUne,
fifteen rounds, at AUentown, Pa. Jim
Savage against John Lester Johnson, ten
rounds, at New York. Willie Bran against
Chick West, ten rounds, at Chleopee, Mass.
BUI Case? against Jim McDonald, ten
rounds at Boston.
Foot Ball Cotner anfrenittr against
Doe na coUege, at Bethany, Neb. Bureke
oollege against William and Vashtt, at
Eureka, HI. Illinois oollege against State
Normal, at Jacksonville, 111. Illinois Wes
leyan against Uneon oollege, at Blooming
tan, 111. Iowa State Teachers against Du
buque, at Cedar Falls, la. Ottawa university
against Washburn oollege, at Ottawa, Kan.
William JeweU against Central oollege, at
Liberty, Mo. York college against Peru Nor
mal, at York, Neb. Bice Institute against
Texas Christian university, at Fort Worth,
Tex. Simpson college against Cornell oollege,
at Indlanoaa, la. Southwestern college
against Kansas state Normal, at Emporia.
Ken. Terkio oollege against Westminster
college, at Fulton, Mo. Tulane university
against Mississippi college, at Clinton, Miss.
achieve Justice, but we must do it
t -I . .
uy cjuuuiuon oi common sense.
: Mr. Roosevelt was cheered contin
uously on his way from the station to
his Hotel. "
Despite efforts of 700 patrolmen the
crowds surged into the streets id
such masses that the colonel's driver
repeatedly had to atop his, machine
until the road was cleared. On Madi
son street, streets cars found it al
most impossible to move and vehicu
lar traffic, other than that of the
Roosevelt party, was held up.
Makes Address at Clinton. '
Clinton, la., Oct. 26. Met by a
band and a huge crowd when his
train stopped here for a change of
engines, enroute from Denver to Chi
cago, this morning Colonel Theo
dore Roosevelt in an unscheduled
speech flayed President Wilson for
his "too proud to fight" declaration
and complimented Iowa as a state of
"intense Americanism," where , men
and women "are willing to encoun
ter risks and make an effort for
their convictions.
"For seven and a half years, I was
president of the United States," said
Colonel Roosevelt. "And in all that
time not a shot was fired against an
alien foe and not an American man,
foreign oower.
"The principal reasons were that I
endeavored to exercise scrupulous
justice with foreign powers, and every
foreign power knew that I was not
too proud to hKht.
"I don't want to fight. I will do
everything possible' to keep out of a
fight, but I don't believe in hitting
softly. When you've got to hit a
man, knock mm out.
Alma Citizens Prefer
Matson to Daniels
Alma, Neb., Oct 26. (Special Tele
grab.) While Secretary of the Navy,
Josepnus Daniels, was addressing a
crowd ot 1U persons here todav l
the home of Congressman Shallen-
berger on democratic doctrines.
Charles Matson of Lincoln, head of
the league of republican clubs for
Nebraska, was talking in the opera
house to a crowd of 212 by actual
Count. The republicans of Harlan
county are giving a great welcome to
all speakers who come here,
clam Drollck's Team Wins.
The two-mile relay race at' UH Fimam
street was won by Sam Drollck's team.
Tims, five minutes flat.
fq AUTOMOBILES
You Cannot Hfit Your
engine to m point wfaoro Pan-
hard Oil will not lubricaU it.
Panhari. Oil 11 tb only oil that
will not carbonic fn the eyllndtri.
Panhard Oil is the only oil that
rvtatni it ivbrieatinv qaalitiw at
all temperatures.
Let ua dlieuia thia oil question
with you and recommend the
grade beat loited to your ear.
POWELL
SUPPLY COMPANY
OMAHA.
Automobile Supplies
' " r 2051 Farnam. ' , ',
DEATH TAKES WELL
KNOWN CATTLE MAN
W. 0. Comstock of Richards &
Oomstock Firm Dies at
Denver.
RANCH NEAR ELLSWORTH
Ellsworth, Neb., Oct 26. (Special
Telegram.) W. G. Comstock, one of
the biggest cattle men in the west,
well known at all of the principal live
stock centers, and a member of te
firm of Richards & Comstock, whose
main ranch is located near Ellsworth,
died at Denver' today, according to
a dispatch received here.
Mr. Comstock's health had been
failing for the last year, owing to an
aggravated stomach trouble. During
the early summer he had a slight at
tack of ptomaine poisoning, which,
because of his major trouble, necessi
The Biltmore: There are a lot of men in this town who want well
defined style without going in for the extreme of fashion. The Biltmore would meet their
ideas exactly. Prices $20 to $45 at the Kuppenheimer dealers. The clothes-values are
there. A thing for you to take advantage oi right now. ;
Wie HOUSE 0 KUPPENHEIMER
Specialty of Fractional Six and A Forward Model, originated by this House CHICAGO Get our Book, Stylet for Men from your deaUr or tend your nam to u
.TYf-U 1 MrJJr that include the " York, " the
Utner IVlOaeiS -Beaufort," "Wayne," 'Brit
ish Derby," ''Chester," etc., are designed to suit the
tastes and builds of particular men.
11 ' ' i j 1 1 1 "'
iiiijiiiHHimimiiijiiimiiniiiiMiiiiiiiniHiiMiHiiiiiiiimnimim
tated an operation three weeks ago.
He rallied surprisingly from the
effects of the operation and after re
moval from the hospital to his home
in Denver his improvement was so
gratifying to his family and friends
that they felt his full recovery was
only a matter of a few weeks.
His loss is keenly felt in Ellsworth,
where his marked ability in the busi
ness world was reduced to a kindliness
and a personal interest in the welfare
of all. His munificenses, though not
on the tongues of men, are known to
have been large.
Kid Mooney Regains His '
Stroke, Beating Reynolds
Kid Mooney regained hia stroke
last night, defeating Reynolds before
a large crowd at the Subway in the
pocket billiard tournament. The game
was close and exciting and had the
spectators guessing until the finish.
Score, 100 to 90.
Billy Owens, the state champion,
will play Jesse Reynolds tonight at
8 o'clock.
Three Cornell Men Held
Ineligible by the Faculty
Ithaca, N. Y Oct. 26. The Cor
nell faculty committee on student
affairs today declared Frank Clary,
base ball catcher and captain of the
191? 'varsity nine, A. R. G. Valentine,,
'varsity base ball outfielder, and Clay
ton Wolford, 'varsity base ball substi
tute, ineligible for further participa
tion in university athletics because
they are alleged to have played sum
mer base ball where admission was
charged. All three are juniors.
Soccer Teams of Omaha
And Sioux City Meet Sunday
Sunday afternoon at Rourke park
the Caledonian soccer foot ball team
will meet the St. George team of
Sioux City. This will be a return
match, the first having been played at
Sioux City last year, and won by the
Caledonians.
The game Sunday will be one of the
deciding factors for the possession of
the Jackson cup, now held by- the
Omaha team. This carries a cham
pionship honor for the year and is to
be contested for annually between the
western Scots.
MAKE GENERAL BREAK ROCK.
Haitian Warriors More Valuable As
Stone Crushers Than As
Soldiers.
When the late President Laconte
of Haiti set about to reduce the size
of his army a few years ago, many
of the generals whom he mustered
out of the service were put to break
ing rock on the street. At one time
there were mor officers than men
in the Haitian' army, according to
apparently authentic statements.
The army officers of Haiti were as
fond of gold lace aa a mountain girl
of bright colors- Small wonder, then,
that the regalia of a field marshal
was everywhere in evidence. Times
have changed, however, and now the
American marine in quiet khaki takes
the place of the Haitian fire-eater
and his resplendent costumes.
In former times the pay of a Hai
Stetson Hats.
tian soldier was small at best, noth
ing at worst, and at all times insuffi
cient to keep the warrior fed decently. t
The days of loading coffee on depart
ing ships were great days in Haiti
They were busy days when the army
got a . square meal, thanks to the
stevedore wages which the men were
able to earn. -".
Feeding the Haitian armies in the i
days before the American "big i ;
brother" movement was not a dim-
cult job. Garrison rations consisted -.- ,
of a sugar-cane stalk two or three
feet long and whatever else the
soldier could beg, borrow or steal. i(
National Geographic Magazine.
Indigestion and Constipation. .
"I recently discovered ill Chamber
Iain's Tablets the first medicine to '
give me positive and lasting relief. '
Prior to their use I suffered frequent- " '
ly from indigestion and constipation," "-
writes Mrs. Anna Kadin, Spencerport, '
N. Y. Obtainable everywhere. Adv.
Omaha Real Estate ll the but Investment '
you could make. Bead The Bte real seta le ,
oolumna
Manhattan Shirts
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