THE BEE: OMAHA. TUESDAY. OCTOBER 3, 1916.
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
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CORRESPONDENCE
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AUGUST CIRCULATION
55,755 Daily Sunday 51,048
Uwliht Wllllarae. elrenlatlon manager of Tha Bee
Publishing eomp-.ny. being duly sworn, sere that tha
average eircaletian for the month ol August, !1.
si.1v dally, nd l,4 Sunday.
P WIGHT WILLIAMS. Clreulattoa Manager.
Subscribed In my pretence and. aworn to before me
Dlte (d day of September. lilt. '
ROBERT HUNTER, NoUry Publlt.
Subserlbam hawing .tha oily tamporarily
hauls haw Tha Baa mailed to thorn. Ad
araat trill ba chanted aa aftaa a raqnirad.
TBe problem in Greece simmer down to this:
Fight or give up the gun.
Omaha will need all its hotels, both new and
old, this week and then some I
Anyway, the force of the Roosevelt punch
demonstrates the value of steady training.
Senator Martine neglected to wire a whoop of
joy to Shadow lawn. Doubtlesa he thinks the
New Jersey primaries delivered a message.
This is where the Omaha police force will have
a chance to demonstrate again that its efficiency
far outruns its numbers.
Commercial .submarines are unable to offer
scenic inducements to travelers, but are unsur
passed in supplying the thrill's of uncertain ar
rival. II is inferred from his remarks that-Colonel
Harvey believes President Wilson spoiled a good
country editor to make a poor secretary of the
navy. . ,
President Wilson brings the prestige, King
Ak-Sar-Ben supplies' the "pep" and Omaha the
hospitality.. A rare combination fittingly honors
a memorable event. - - .
The so-called "mystery" of bulging capitol
walls is no mxstcry at all. The certainty of hous
ing a reunited republican family is ample provo
cation for a swell front. 1 .
The chances of foreign war bulletin makers
agreeing on yie outcome of a given battle re
about as good as of opposing political dopesters
agreeing on the result of the November election.
In talking to the farmers Senator Hitchcock
is careful not to boast of how hard he fought
parcel post for fear the government would take
some of the orofits away from the1 express mo
nopolies. -. . v
Jjn't it a little brash for Senator Hitchcock's
newspaper organ to invite inspection of anybody's
record going back twenty-five1 years, knowing
What a review of his own record covering that
period would disclose? -1
By recalling the democratic attacks upon him
when he was president, Colonel Roosevelt nails
the "shouldn't-attack-Wilson" complaint. No rule
of "king-can-do-no-wrong" or of "lese majeste"
holds good in this free American republic.
In determining his action on the wage increase
force bill President Wilson gave in, according to
Roosevelt, "to the aide he feared most." Suppose
the same labor leaders come back again at the
next session of congress, with their stop-watches
and threats of a, strike unless new demands for
more wages or larger overtime pay are acceded
to before a designated day and hour? What
then? ' , 1 .'. '
Some Things That Are Untrue
Railway Asa Gaaelta.
Among the many wild and ignorant state
ments made on the floor of congress during the
"consideration" of the "eight-hour" law and dur
ing its subsequent defense by democratic mem
bers, the blue ribbon should undoubtedly be
swarded to Senator James A. Reed of Missouri,
which is worth repeating as illustrating the
amount of information on the subject possessed
by some "statesmen" who voted for the bill. He
said: "I talked with a man who is manifestly
more than half a nervous wreck. He used to
pull the .Twentieth Century Limited- between
Chicago and New York. He told me that bv
.actual mathematics it could be demonstrated
that upon that run the engineer holding that
throttle had to read and record in his own brain
six signals every second. Eight hours a day is
long enough for that kind of labor, . Eight hours
is long enough for the passengers to ride behind
a man tinder that kind of i strain.'1 Senator
Reed has apparently been listening to some ol
the talk of the brotherhood leaders, and has re
ceived the impression that the trainmen "pull"
their trains without much assistance from the
locomotive. He would probably be much sur
prised if informed of the actual facts, viz: That
the engineers on the Twentieth - Century are
changed seven times in twenty hours between
Chicago and New York: that not one of them
runs for more than four hours a trip, and that
- each of them receives considerably more than a
day's pay for each trip of three or four hours
that he makes on the Century. He might pur
sue bis investigation further and find that five
hours, or 100 miles, is the basis for a dav's mv
lor all passenger engineers on the eastern roads
ind that practically no passenger ever rides be
hind an engineer who works as many as eight
lours a day.. We do not blame the aenator for
becoming excited about the six signala per sec
ond, but a little "actual mathematics would have
shown himthat a train running sixty miles an
lour traverses eighty-eight feet in a second and
he it doubtless enough of a traveler to know
that the scenery along the New York Central is
jot obscured br a signal every fourteen feet.
The artless credulity shown by statesmen of the
Reed and La' Folette type when they are talking
' to members of the tabor onions is only equaled
by the impossibility of getting into their heads a
single real, fact or truth regarding railway
matters.
The Farmer Pays the Freight
Closer study of the situation growing out of
the Adamson railroad wage law convinces the
farmer of the quality of the solicitude for his wel
fare shown by the democratic party. This law,
driven through congress as was no other law ever
enacted, provides that an arbitrary increase of 25
per cent in wages paid to a specially favored
class of employes, amounting to $100,000,000 an
nually is to be forced on the railroads. This im
position can only be met by additional income;
the railroads have but one way of adding to their
revenue, and that is by increasing rates. The
money must come from freight and passenger
earnings. To increase passenger tariffs is im
practical, therefore the hundred millions required
to meet the demands of the Adamson law must be
derived from additional freight charges. The
president of the United States told 'the railroad
managers he would assist in securing authority
for them to make the increase. The whole bill is
to be charged to the shippers.
This brings the matter directly home to the
farmers. They are the principal patrons of the
railroads, in that they provide the greater part of
the freight that is carried. Manufacturers and
jobbers may avoid any share of the increased
rates by simply adding the amount to their selling
prices, but the farmer can not do this. He does
not fix the selling price on his commodities, and
will find that instead of being permitted to add
the increase in. freight to the price of what he
sells, it will be deducted. Thus, he will be pay
ing the whole sum, for it will be added to what he
buys and subtracted from what he sells.
In plain words, the farmer is to be made tlie
goat in this, as he has been in other ways by the
democrats. Agriculture, our greatest industry,
has had but scant consideration from the party
now in power. .
Omaha Must Care for All Visitors.
The people of Omaha seem not yet to realize
fully the obligation they are under to take care
of all visitors from abroad accepting our invita
tion to come here this week.
The combination of the Ak-Sar-Ben festivities
and the celebration of the semi-centennial of Ne
braska's statehood with the president of the
United States participating in the commemorative
exercises, are sure to bring to this city more
strangers than have ever before been within our
gates at one time. The fact is that our hotels
and customary accommodations for the traveling
public are already taxed to their ordinary capacity,
and unless extraordinary efforts are put forth
thousands of visitors will have their needs for
food and shelter unprovided for.
Of course this situation witl not be present
because it is up to us to put forth an extraordi
nary effort It is incumbent upon every citizen
of Omaha in position to help meet the impending
demand, to respond to the urgency of the occa
sion. All the available rooms for lodging should
be listed at once with the agencies that are at
the disposal of our visitors, and these agencies
should be ready with enlarged forces to supply
all requisitions upon them.
It must be remembered that Omaha is the
host and that every householder in our city shares
the responsibility for maintaining our refutation
for painstaking hospitality. It is not a question
of ability or willingness to take proper care of
everyone who comes, but of mobilizing the facili
ties and making -them available for use.
? His Highness th Hog. ' ' ,
Omaha is entertaining some real royalty this
week, as well at the mythical kind. Hia highness
the Hog il with us, born in the purple and regally
bred, and by his actual presence reminds us of
one of the principal atones in the foundation that
supports the material greatness of which the alle-,
gorical monarch is the outward sign. The Na
tional Swine show has brought together the most
valuable and representative assemblage of por
cine aristocracy ever gathered. It offers an amaz
ing exhibition of perfection in pigs, fairly start
ling in its contrast to the careless city notion born
of familiarity alone with the golden brown of
sizzling bacon, the .tempting Crimson of broiled
ham, or the alluring pink of a well fried chop.
Pigs might have been pigs, merely, in that far-off
day when swine were listed as "razor backs,"
"hazel splitters," "gate lifters" and the like, and
were permitted to run wild under the trees, gath
ering the mast for sustenance and defying man's
best, effort to cover their gaunt ribs with a proper
coating of leaf lard. This unpromising animal has
been, by scientific care, remodeled into a wonder
fully efficient machine for turning corn, alfalfa
and the like into meats whose savor wins epi
curean applause, and whose price on the market
swells the bank account of his thrifty breeder.
His highness, the Hog, is no mean monarch.
Nearly Time for Change.
The story of a disastrous collision between a
street car and a switching train at Detroit says
it is. the third accident of the kind at the same
crossing within the year. This would naturally
suggest that the city authorities of Detroit should
give some attention to this crossing. It is also a
reminder that Omaha has a number of dangerous
unprotected crossings; the Detroit crossing did
have gates, but in Omaha even these are lacking.
Appeals and protests alike art unavailing, appar
ently, for nothing is being done to make these
dangerous places secure. The Missouri Pacific,
notably, is able to defer action at will. Viaducts
it was ordered to build several years ago have not
been started, while the entire length of its Belt
Line tracks presents a succession of unprotected
grade crossings, most of them without as much
as a flagman to warn traffic. How much longer
are the railroads and the city commissioners going
to dally over the question of making grade cross
ings safe?
Not this year, some other year, perhaps, the
American electorate will realize their mistake in
passing up the rich and juicy offerings of presi
dential bush leaguers. Everybody worth while
understands how far the major candidates will
go in ssving the country. The bush leaguers go
much farther afield, promising not only salva
tion but the abolition of cuspidors and the inauguration-
of an era of joy-riding with the gov
ernment furnishing the limousines and the gas.
Native perversity and the party grip of the
majors will as heretofore persist in rejecting
the millenium.
At one stage of the Mexican shell game Car-
ranza, by co-operating with the American expedi
tion could have put Villa oat of business concln
sively. Instead he chose the part of bluster and
harassing objections. He could annihilate the
Villistas and insisted on doing the job. The utter
failure of performance coming up to professions
shows the futility of relying on Carranza's assur
ances of border safety.
Mr. Wilson Indicts Himself
' St. Louie Clahe-Democrat
Edward Atkinson's computation a generation
ago was that production was about $200 per an
num per capita. It is possible, though not very
certain, that 10 per cent of the production is
saved. On this basis then, the nation is putting
away about two billions of dollars. It is prob
ably saving a good bit more than that The pro
duction has undoubtedly increased since 1880,
and it Is probable that the fraction accumulted
from year to year has increased. The incredible
multiplication of automobiles is tolerable evi
dence of the increased means of person in com
fortable circumstances, but by no means rich.
Since the war began we are estimated to have
bought back a billion and a half of our own securi
ties. To that extent we owe less than we used
to. We have to remit less interest to Europe.
That interest becomes capital available for invest
ment at home and for financing foreign projects
in our effort to encroach somewhat on the pero
gatives of London as the world's money market.
If we are not yet a creditor nation, we are mak
ing progress in that direction. . ' . ,
The progress is not confined to buying back
our own securities and becoming the owners of
our railways and industrials. During this war we
have so far become the world's banker as to have
loaned one and a third billion dollars to foreign
governments and commercial enterprises. For
this we shall get $60,000,000 or $70,000,000 in the
way of interest for use at home or abroad. In
the same two years we have put a good deal more
than one billion dollars into building projects;
these range from year to year between half a
billion and three quarters of a billion dollars, and
cover only a small part of the country, the big
and middle sized cities. There is a vast amount
of building in the smaller towns and the rural
communities of which we have no report.
Deposits in savings banks i.icrease very slowly.
The aggregate, is enormous, but the annual incre
ment consists' largely of interest. The excess
of deposits over withdrawals is' relatively small.
Still, the savings banks account forms a part of the
annual increase of the national wealth. They are
supplemented by the co-operative building loan
associations, which in considerable parts of the
country are more popular than the savings bank.
The increase of life insurance has been extremely
rapid in the past twenty years, and reflects an in
creased ability to provide for the future. The in
creas in the assets of the life insurance com
panies in a decade is shown by these figures: '
1904 ,...$2,498,960,968
1914 4,935,352,791
The amount doubled in ten years.
Investment buying absorbs an immense volume
of annual savings. That is, it is annual savings
in a sense; as the community owes the amount of
state and municipal bonds the purchase of these
evidences of debt is not directly an addition to
the national wealth; it is rather an anticipation of
wealth to be produced. The sale of securities,
however, has its value as a reflection of the rate
at which wealth is being produced. The employ
ment of traveling salesmen by bond houses is a
comparatively recent development of the invest
ment business, and gives some idea of its vrir
portance. Even if the wealth represented by
securities is yet in great measure to be created,
the wealth expended in the purchases has already
been created.
The per capita wealth of the country as com
puted by the census bureau has, at least, relative
value. The figures for three periods are as fol
lows: 1890 .',.$1,035
1900 1,164
1912 ..'... 1,965
They agree with many other indications that
wealth is accumulating faster now than it was a
few years ago. The accumulations are not in a
few hands, either; the tendency of wages to rise,
and of interest to decline, is unmistakable, and
ought to be reassuring to the sociologists.
Shafts' Aimed at Omaha
Fairburv News: Victor Rosewater would have
an excellent foundation for a libal suit against
the Omaha Examiner for the pictures it pub
lishes of him from time .to time. They are
fierce.
O'Neill Frontier: Now comes the word that
President Wilson is going to abandon his policy
of "watchful waiting," in the shade of Shadow
Lawn, and hike out to Umaha to attend the
Ak-Sar-Ben. While at Omaha, it is understood,
the oresident will -be prevailed upon to deliver
one of his nonpartisan addresses. Somebody
must be skeered.
Fort Calhoun Chronicle: The Omaha papers
are trying to make their readers believe that
President Wilson's visit to that city on Octo
ber 5 is a recognition by the chief magistrate
of Ak-Sar-Ben's greatness. Perhaps it is, but
there is a possibility the president and his ad
visors realize that his presence there on this occa
sion may be helpful to the cause about Novem
ber 7.
Neliirh Leader: Senator Hitchcock told the
voters of the county during his visit why he thought
he should be re-elected. Outside of pure politics
the Leader cites some reasons why he should
not be re-elected. In the first place, the sena
tor's quarrel with Bryan and the president, which
was purely a personal one, lost to Omaha and
this section of country a chance to obtain the
location of the branch of the federal reserve
bankl The' same incident lost to Omaha the
Indian supply depot and the headquarters of a
department of the army and will in all probabil
ity operate to lose for this section the location
of one of the rural credit banks. These are a
few of the things the senator has done for
Nebraska. '
Beatrice Sun: The editor of the Omaha retail
grocers' publication declares in favor of limiting
the number of grocery stores. He declares that
in Omaha there are nearly twice as many stores
as are needed to serve the public, and that a
smaller number, the exact number to be fixed
by law, would be able to serve the trade better
and at lower prices. The question which would
at once arise, of course, would be whether the
owners of the limited number of stores would
be willing to sacrifice an opportunity for greater
profits merely for the purpose of giving their
patrons better service and winning their good
will. Any interference with the normal course
of business, such as limiting the number of con
cerns engaged in any business, must always have
tacked to it some provision for regulating prices
and the methods of operating the business.
People and Events
American farmers and land speculators who
vitalized Canada's boom during the past ten
years have returned home to the number of
500,000. War is a reality up there.
Style and wealth do not always make for
speed. A New York woman who wanted to pre
vent her daughter's marriage to a penniless suitor
failed because her limousine could not catch the
elopers in a jitney on a hilly road. , . .
The supreme court of Missouri hands a ham
mer blow to the secretary of state who refused
to place a prohibition proposition on the ballot.
A writ has been issued requiring the wet and dry
question submitted to the voters at the coming
election.
At last the blow has fallen. Tobacco, hitherto
immune to serious attacks, is now accused of
propagating the germ of infantile paralysis. The
awful indictment comes from a New York doctor,
and what New York doctors don't know about
the publicity side of disease isn't worth seeking
elsewhere.
One of the late developments of war finance
is the placing in New York of a loan of
$50,000,000 by the municipaltiy of Paris. It is
said to be the first instance of a municipality
troina: abroad for funds. Principal and interest
are payable in New York in gold, or in Paris at
tne rate ol s.au irancs per aouar.
Thought Nugget for (tha Day.
But spite of all the criticising elves.
Those who would make us feel, must
feel themselves.
Charles Churchill.
One Year Ago Today In the War.
Germans reported capture of great
French airship .Alsace.
Russian offensive In Gallcla checked
with loss of 4,000 prisoners.
French air Beet of sixty-five fliers
dropped bombs on German commu
nications in Champagne and the Ar
gonne. Russia ordered Its minister to leave
Sofia if Bulgaria did not break with
Austria and Germany within twenty
four hours.
In Omaha Thirty Years Ago.
B. F. Redman, who for some time
back has been a bonded warehouse
clerk, has resigned his position and
accepted that of claim agent for the
H. T. Clarke Drug company.
A. F. Spitko, city circulator of the
German Tribune, was married to Miss
Emma Getsohmann at the residence
of the bride's parents, 614 South
Ninth street. The bride was attended
by Miss Anna Miller and the groom
by Julius T. Festner.
The Academy of the Sacred Heart
at their monthly literary . meeting,
were entertained by the following:
Misses C. Crelghton, A. Babcock, K.
McHugh, A. McParlln, Jennie Gregg,
L. McShane, Lowe, Nash and Dellone.
Mrs. W. B. Millard gave a luncheon
party, at which the following guests
were present: Misses Wakeley, Dun
dy, Sharp, Maud Woolworth, McCon
nell. Brown, Downs, Campbell, Ham
ilton, Lehmer, Knight and Morgan.
The "Hyperion" Is the name of a
new social club, of which the officers
are: N. J. Edholm, president; E. B.
Bmlth, vice president; H. D. Hicks,
secretary, and Frank Buck, treasurer.
Mrs. Benjamin Gallagher gave a
ladles' reception from 3 to 6 o'clock
and was assisted in entertaining by
Mrs. Barker and M . Creighton.
Mrs. C. N. Diet entertained a num
ber of friends at progressive euchre.
Mrs. W. F. Allen won the ladies' first
prize, three useful books bound in
alligator; Mr. Coutant won the men's
first prize, a card case In the shape
of a tooth, while Mrs. Strauss and Mr.
Stlckney took the booby prizes, a pen
wiper and a stamp caste.
Dr. McParlin's four daughters have
arrived In Omaha. The ldest is a
debutante and the others are attend
ing the convent of the Sacred Heart
This Day In History.
1701 Isaac Norris, leader of the
Quaker party in Pennsylvania for
many years before the revolution,
born in Philadelphia. Died there
June 18, 1766.
1799 William Henry Harrison, af
terward president of the United States,
was elected a delegate to congress
from Ohio.
, 1800 George' Bancroft, the great
historian, born at Worcester, Mass.
Died at Washington, D. C, January
17, 1891.
1838 Black Hawk, leader of the
great Indian war against the white
settlers of the Mississippi valley, died
while encamped on the Des Momes
river.
1862 The confederates attacked
Rosecrans' army at Corinth, Miss.
1866 Signing of the peace of
Vienna, by which Austria ceded Vene
tla to Italy.
1873 Execution' of the Modocs,
Captain Jack, Sconchln, Boston Char
ley and Black Jim, lor tne muraer or
General-Canby and Dr. Thomas at
Fort Klamath, Ore.
1904 The thirteenth International
peace conference opened In Boston.
1914 Rustem Bey, the Turkish em
bassador to the United States, left
Washington because of official dissatis
faction with his published views on
American affairs.
The Day We Celebrate.
Dr. Charles E. Smith is 63 years
old today. He was born in Davenport
la., and took his degree in dental sur
gery In the University of Pennsylvania.
He located In Omaha in 1885, where
he has since continued to practice his
profession.
Thomas King of the city detective
force was born October 3, 1863, in
Canada. He came to this country at
17 years of age and has been In the
police department since 1892. Pre
vious to that time he was in the ice
business.
Harry L. Brandt, accident Insurance
man, today will receive congratula
tions from his friends on his thirty
third birthday.
Eleanora Duse, the most celebrated
tragedienne of the Italian stage, born
In Venice flfty.seven years ago today.
Major General William C. Gorgas,
surgeon general of the United States
army, born at Mobile, Ala., sixty-two
years ago today.
-Royal C. Johnson, representative In
congress of the Second South Dakota
district born at Cherokee, la., thirty
four years ago today.
Miss Virginia Glldersleeve, dean of
Barnard college, born In New York
thirty-nine years ago today.
Fred Clarke, former manager of
the Pittsburgh National league base
ball team, born in Madison county,
Iowa, forty-three years ago.
Timely Jottings and Reminders.
A big celebration of the Indiana
statehood centennial will open at
South Bend today and continue until
Friday.
The annual convention of the Ne
braska Federation of Women's Clubs
is to be entertained at Hastings dur
ing the three days beginning today.
The annual convention of the South
Dakota Federation of Women's Clubs
Is to have Its opening today at Pierre.
Shakespeare's plays are to form the
basis of the great pageant to be given
in St Louis tonight on the opening
of the thirty-ninth annual Veiled
Prophet carnival.
Muskegon, Mich., la to be the meet
ing place today of the tenth annual
national convention of the Railway
Men's Relief association.
The annual convention of the Rail
way Fire Protection association la to
meet In New York City today fora
session of three days
Theodore Roosevelt and William H.
Taft, four years ago rival candidates
for the presidency, are to meet and
shake hands at a reception at the
Union League club in New York to
night Charles E. Hughes will be the
guest of honor.
1 Storyctte of the Day.
A young fellow, who- has not Ions
been married, usually confides his
troubles to a friend whose matrimo
nial experience covers a - period of
twenty years.
One day tha former remarked very
despondently: "1 said - something to
my wife she didn't like, and she hasn't
spoken to me for two days."
The eyes of the old married man
brightened. "Say, old top," he ex
claimed eagerly, "can you remember
what It was you said?" New York
Times.
EDITORIAL SIFTINOS.
Philadelphia Ledger: Whenever a demo
crat haa nothing alee to do he aoee on ex
plaining the Maine result
Chicago Herald: Every time Carranza
blowa an unueually large and brilliant bubble
for the edification of Washington that bad
boy Villa atepa in and pricka it for him.
Cleveland Plala Dealer! A lot of people
are glad they aren't railroad men now.
Wouldn't it be awful to have to work eight
whole houre, by lawT
Washington Poet: We should not he sur
prised at any time to see in the Athena Ga
sette that M. Keechiffilous had been elected
premelr of tha local hay fever aeeociation.
Springfield Republican: Poliomyelitis Is a
long, hard word, but the theories about it
come from the primer, as rat. fly, milk, ant,
flea. Our fathera never suspected that such
menace could lurk in those words of one
syllable.
New York World : Merchandise exports for
August, 1610.000.000. This Is above the
average for a whole year in the early aeven
tles and more than one-half the yearly aver
age as late as twenty years ago. Excess of
exports over imports of tSll.OOO.OOO for this
single month le almost one-half aa large as
the highest record excess for a whole year
before last year.
Baltimore American: A Scotch munitions
factory la in the future to employ women
only. This la one sign of the Industrial con
ditions which are to confront the various na
tions at the end of the war. In some of the
more autocratic governments there may be
a temporary settlement of these conditions
by force, but this will simply be postponing
the inevitable, or, perhaps still worse, be
hastening an industrial revolution. The
woman question involved in the industrial
problems brought about by the war la bound
to bring about radical changes.
Springfield Republican: No wonder that
the collector in Cleveland, who paid $200,000
in New York for a tapestry presented by
the.French king to the emperor of China
In 1766, and looted from the palace in Pekin
at the time of the overthrow ot the Manehu
dynasty, desiree to keep his name secret.
It is after the fashion of handbag atolen
goods from time immemorial. "The heathen
Chinee," as Bret Harte called him, will know
just what to think about the transaction,
for honesty In buying and selling has been
accounted as a Chinese trait highly valued
from days that go far back of our western
civilisation.
GRINS AND GROANS.
dailelgh Here'i tha drew tult you loatwd
m, old man, nd many tbanki. It didn't
fit me very well, ao 1 bad the tailor make
a few alteration
Green The deuce you did! Well, of all
the
Oallelgh Oh. It'a all right, old chap; I
told him to tend the bill to me. Boston
Tranacrtpt
"This cake taetes a trifle queer, my dear.
How did you make It?"
"I made It from a recipe I out from a
magailne. I have quite a collection of
recipes. Here le the one."
"Urn, This la for cleaning a straw bat."
Louisville Courier Journn I.
x Sunday School Teacher And the father of
the prodigal son fell on his neck and wept.
Now, why did he weep?
Tommy Tuff nut Huh! I guess you'd
weep, too, If you fell on your neck. Life.
"What am I to do about the mistakes I
msde In pairing off those oouplea at the
table?"
"Do what you should do with' all mis
takes repair them." Baltimore American. ;
"Aren't you afraid your course will make
you some enemies?" '
"I'll have to take a chance," replied Sen
ator Sorghum. "Sometimes It's better to
have a few enemies so as to keep you from
getting too good-natured and careless."
Washington Star.
Jennie (aged eight) It says in the paper
that arlbther octo-gen-ar-lan la dead. What
Is an oc-to-gen-ar-tan?
Herbert (aged ten) I don't know what
they are, but they must be awfully sickly.
You never hear of 'era but they're dying.
New York Times.
Flubdub That's a bad cold you have.
Guzzler. Are you taking anything for It .
Cuaxler Thanks, old man. I dun'i car W
I do. Judge.
Author Now. I want your honest opinion.
Tell me what faults you see In my book.
Friend Well, for one thing, I think tho.
covers are too far apart. Boston Transcript.
bRR. MR- KMJlWiLE
JKY FIANCE .vw iwi nfc
SECOMP 100K-SH0UPI BEUB
IWE UWVW
WES- WWrtW BJER
TIMED HIS FIRST Ux?
"Everybody that Is anybody haa a ear!"
'Tea and everybody else has what they
call one." Puck.
Teu seem perfectly happy nowadays," rfr
marked the loyal constituent. "Do you feat
assured of victory in tha approaching elec
tion ?'
"Not absolutely," replied Congressman
Rammfatt comfortably, "but I have made
i deal with my opponent ao that whatever
happens ha and I will divide the pie." Rich
mond TlmeB-DUpatch.
THE WEDDING DRESS.
Beatrice Barry In New York Times.
Ah, well, the wedding Is over and Sue and
the boy are gone.
And somehow, although I miss her, I don't
(pel a bit forlorn..
I know he will make her happy, and, now
that the thing Is don,
I don't feel I've lost a daughter; I feel that
I've gained a son.
Well, well! The day when Sue told me her
voice had a wondrous thrill.
My thoughts wen back to my own youth,
for It all seems vivid still.
Jack saya that we look like sisters, though
1 m 42 louay, '
But I waa just Sue's age 30 when Jack
and1 I ran away.
I met him down In tha garden by tha tall
pink hollyhock.
I waa dressed In a blue aunbonnat and a lit
tle gingham frock.
Wa iuat ran off and got married, and It
grieved ma mora or less
X wanted a veil, and flowera, and a aatln
wedding dreaei
Then Jack found out, and he teased ma.
though he said, "If you but knew.
No wedding gown could have added to tha
loveliness of you.
Your eyes were like deep blue gentlana, and
aunbeams brightened your hair
What mattered the gown you wore, leva,
when your rosy Hps wera there?"
Of course that la just Jack's folly, and It
happened years ago;
I laugh myself at the memory but I do
love "pretties' so!
It all came back when Sua told me, and
quite suddenly I saw
My chance for the "truly" wedding that X
couldn't have before!
Sue left It to ma to manage aha seemed ta
be In a daze.
And all I could do this morning . waa to
feast my eyea and gams.
My Susie looked like an angel, though aha
aeemed a trifle pale;
Her ayea ahone bright with love's own
light through her misty wedding veil.
Sha had the things I had longed for I
tingled with pride to aee
How aweet she looked and how pretty!
J They say that she looka Ilka me!)
My dead youth roae up to greet me and
then (oh. how did he guess T)
Jack afterward came and caught me
decked out In the wedding dress!
Said he, "Waa the bride forgotten? Watt
here la another groom 1
Suppoae that we start tomorrow on another
honeymoon?"
Ha touched my hair, oh, ao gently, and
tenderly smoothed It back;
And I I reached up and kissed him.
There's nobody like my Jack!
FIB
I Id
111
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